#and if that means people who are cis and allo join our community bc they've been othered by society at large?

[lesenbyan]

honestly, hot take, but I do honestly think that if someone who is monogamous, cis, het, allo, and non kinky identifies with the queer label and community they should be allowed in the community, yanno? Because they're clearly seeing something in the community they want/need/feel and because of that they're automatically "other" from society's views on gender, sex, and romance. Maybe down the line they realize they aren't actually all those things, maybe they stay all those things all their life. But so long as they're not trying to talk over the experience of a type of oppression/marginalization they don't experience they're not doing any harm claiming the label, yanno?

Like the mold that western society (at least, don't know enough about others to say otherwise) has made is a very white and eurocentric mold so even monogamous cishet alloro&sexual non kinky people of color are still likely to feel othered by the system. Cis women of color that can't fit the standard of beauty set, that naturally trend more ""masculine"" but are straight, that identify with butch subculture despite not being wlw, aren't always going to feel like they fit and if they feel like queer fits them they should be allowed to use it. Same thing goes for naturally ""effeminate"" straight cis men esp in areas of high toxic masculinity. I'd rather soft men have a home with us than give in to the toxic system or feel alone their whole life.

Like, there are plenty of people who don't fit society's molds for reasons that aren't their romantic/sexual identity or gender. and often those kids grow up bullied for being "gay" or "lesbian" or whatnot even if they aren't. I would much rather accept them into our community with open arms then let them continue floundering until they fight for their own niche, conform, or die.

Queer means strange or odd. And while they might be cis, and alloromatic, and allosexual, and monogamous, and vanilla as they come doesn't mean society hasn't decided they, too, are strange and odd just like the rest of us. Even if they never claim any of our alphabet soup of identities, they should be allowed a safe space. The Queer Movement has always been backed by Black and Asian and Indigenous Empowerment communities after all. Lets give them a seat at our table.