#and im almost always dreading the next task and almost always unsatisfied at the end of each day' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mainfaggot · 9 months

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I have been having a hard time falling asleep lately like not as bad as pre-taking sleeping meds ... it only takes an hour to be snorking and mimiming but my body hurts all over and I toss and turn and I can't get my brain to Shut UP no matter how exhausted I am it's the worst like I just have to wait for the sleeping pills to take over bc otherwise I could probably stay up for 3 hours trying to sleep without them

#-_-#also today i was thinking in circles in the shower. i was in there for FORTY MINUTES i exited feeling dehydrated as fuck lol #it's all just 'im so tired. why am I trying so hard. this is trying? all i do is try to be normal and i call this trying hard? but it is'#'it is hard. for me right now it's hard. and im trying. but it sucks because it all feels so wishy washy lackluster slowed down bleak dull'#'like. it's like I'm going through the motions except im very aware of the motions so im forcing myself to go through them but then that #wouldnt be going through the motions would it? because doesn't that expression imply a sort of mindlessness and robotic behaviour lacking #awareness? except i am aware. i am acutely aware that im simply doing for the sake of doing and passing time slowly and not in a soothing #way but rather in a way that feels draining and exhausting #and im almost always dreading the next task and almost always unsatisfied at the end of each day'#good grief.#z.post

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