#and im certainly not binary trans so the concept of passing doesn't click with me personally

[cheddar-baby]

im sure people mean well by it and some people think its nice to hear but everytime i see a person telling someone they "pass so well" it makes the hair on my neck bristle. Its a thing where it feels like they're saying "i can tell you are trans and i am saying congrats to you for doing a good job at looking like _____ but in my mind you aren't _____ you're trans ______". Like the idea of passing to me feels specifically like you are telling this person they are wearing a costume well but you are separating them from being that gender. It seems so othering to me. I see a trans woman and shes just a woman there is no pass or fail shes just what she looks like and what shes wearing. Same goes for trans men, non-binary people. It doesn't matter if someone is completely dolled up in a fancy outfit, hours of makeup done, or just woke up tired and in sweats they still just look like the gender that they are because they are that gender and there isnt a bar to cross or a look to achieve. I dont know i could very well be wrong and people enjoy it and think its genuinely complimentary. I'm agender personally so its impossible for me to "pass" as anything.