#and it doesn't help that the main group barely has any transmasc people but this youth group it seems like it's fucking everyone
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Today's events and the past few months of bullshit have made me feel so rejected from my local LGBTQ community.
#tried to write about it in my last 2 posts but it's hardly a short story :/#i'm so lonely#my hormones are fucked up and i feel like shit#going on t cannot come soon enough i can tell you#i think i'm perimenopausal :'(#i spent today with the LGBTQ youth group's stand at the park thing#because my name is mud with the organisers of the main group now#this youth group is not super young it goes up to 25 i think#but i'm WELL over 25 and omg i felt so fucking old#and it doesn't help that the main group barely has any transmasc people but this youth group it seems like it's fucking everyone#i just spent the whole time about to cry because i feel like i wasted my entire fucking 20s#being around people who came out in their teens fucks with my head#they have their whole lives ahead of them now#god sometimes i feel like when i came out as trans a door opened up somewhere and now i'm freer#and it hurts so fucking much that i couldn't have gotten there sooner#when i was in the main LGBTQ group i was around people who came out as trans in their 50s and 60s#so i neve felt old there i felt young#but now I can't go back there ever :(#i think there's 2 ages- your actual age and your number of years post coming out/transition#i haven't even started physical transition#i'm so jealous i feel sick i hate myself#i hate the other group for rejecting me
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