#and my brain is shoving Winter's Come and Gone. The Blackest Crow. and Foreign Lander. it's shoving all of them in a blender and i am havin | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

47-protons · 7 months

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many thoughts head full yet so devastatingly empty (< my brain is going about a billion miles per hour and i cannot slow it down enough to put any of the thoughts into any type of coherent statement) ((it is flicking wildly back and forth between q/smp and usmp. like if you took a metronome and set it to like a billion BPM.))

I have never frantically edited a post faster to put a slash between four letters

#hi i'm listening to winter's come and gone and i'm being Normal about it #''little black bird on my wire line. dark as troubles in this heart of mine.''#and my brain is shoving Winter's Come and Gone. The Blackest Crow. and Foreign Lander. it's shoving all of them in a blender and i am havin #am having MANY thouhgts. absolutely brain rattlers.#the blackest crow that ever did flew would surely turn to white if ever i prove false to you bright day would turn to night #bright day would turn to night my love the elements would mourn if ever i proved false to you the seas would rage and burn #i lie awake out in the night. i see the shining stars. i wonder if you see them too wherever you are.#i'm normal. :+1:#i wish my breast were made of glass wherein you might behold upon my heart your name lies wrote in letters made of gold #in letters made of gold my love believe me when i say you are the darling of my heart. until my dying day.#Goes into Flick's character playlist. whacks apocalypse lullaby in there at mach 4 #my brain is Rattling with everything from sp/iderbit to phil to forever to flick and usmp s2 brainrot (< again)#i am Extremely abnormal about the end of s2 #more accurately. i am going through my playlist of chill folk/bluegrass tunes bc i have been having Feelings about. smth I will probably #never say out loud. i like the russian girl thing on like. tiktok and instagram. it is interesting and neat #to learn about other people's cultures- even if specifically it's about them feeling disconnected from theirs.#there is a rotting in my chest. there is no culture here. i don't think the US as a whole can go ''aha this is the american culture'' what #work until you die. never get healthcare. have every other country hate you. that's fair.#i am sitting with the bluegrass songs my grandma would sing me to sleep with when i was a baby and i am being normal #it took me two years before i could listen to Ashoken Farewell without bawling. they played that at her funeral. specifically my cousin #got up and played it. I'm normal. i'm so normal about this. culture can be school shootings and rampant capitalism but it can also be. banj #banjo and fiddle. i want to go to the bluegrass festival this year. i think it will be good for me.#america on the whole. probably does not have a unified cultural identity. and i guess that's okay #i'll align myself out towards the oklahoman panhandle and all the goatheads i got as a kid. i never saw the problem with quacki/ty's bedroo #i liked the rock walls. it reminded me of my grandma's house. she had a dugout. i miss it (< lost it in a wildfire a year after she died)#it wasn't like. a sod house. it was entirely underground though for Years until they had my uncle aaron and needed an extra room so then th #they got a Single upstairs room. The stairs were back by the cellar. i miss it. my mom would tell stories of the bus dropping her off and #classmates telling her ''there's a cow on your roof''#i miss it. i should go to sleep i think #i don't think i've ever felt 'american' but i sure have felt 'kansan' and that's. okay enough for me i think

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