#and people who are much larger obviously have these resources from being that large y'know | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jofiah · 11 months

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I need to stop looking at the front page of twitch and popular vtubers on twitter, it's not good for my mental health

what would be better for my mental health, however, would be to stop being so jealous of everyone else or feeling like everyone else is a threat/competition to me, instead of something to aspire to or take inspiration from. sigh

wish i could just talk to people and reach out but. all i feel able to do is make posts like this (that will probably only drive people to unfollow)

#this keeps coming from seeing people both similar in size to me and much larger #people with smaller viewcounts than me have like...#full intricate live2d models or really cool 3d models #a ton of fan art and artists in their viewer base #people who make and share clips #etc etc #and people who are much larger obviously have these resources from being that large y'know #but how... how does someone like me get fan art and all this other stuff #i don't feel like a real streamer #i feel like a fake and that i don't fit in #i don't know any artists. i don't know how to ask for comissions and would be scared to anyway #i feel like i need to do everything myself #i don't know how to talk to other streamers and make connections #i don't know how to promote or be interesting while not streaming.......#god #nothing feels like enough and i do want to have more people enjoying what i do #worst part is that i feel like an asshole for even having these feelings #so i feel like shit because of this jealousy and then that causes me to feel more like shit.

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