#and ry? ugh it's complicated …

[chevvy-yates]

For Ryder please 😏

🍬 Is my muse a sub, dom, or switch?

😳 What was my muse’s worst romantic/sexual relationship?

🎀 Who would my muse sleep with if nobody ever had to know?

imaginarycyberpunk2023

🍬 Is my muse a sub, dom, or switch?

Definitely dominant. Ryder prefers to be in charge, to have control over the situation. He fears to lose control, so he is likely not to give over the reigns — even in the bedroom. He'll always be a top as well since he tried out bottoming one time which ended not so delicate (having no control over his blades but no one died, no serious injuries, just nightmares). Ryder is always eager to bring his partner bliss. Hearing and watching that pleasure he can elicit out of his partner arouses him and brings him great pleasure. He likes to tease as well until his partner begs for more. If he wouldn't need to stay in such control all the time, he would consider switching as well is one of my head canons for him tho, but he fears losing control, so he does not. Secretly he enjoyed being submissive and a bottom for once, but he can't allow himself that one specific situation might repeat. Maybe it might change for him one day. So, it is not totally crossed out.

😳 What was my muse’s worst romantic/sexual relationship?

The worst thing that happened, viewed as sheer sexual was that he got caught in the midst of doing a blowjob on a JoyToy by his brother and father. Yup …

🎀 Who would my muse sleep with if nobody ever had to know?

Honestly? Ryder may as well gallantly say "BD Porn Star XY" at this point (he's got a few favorites and a little collection of certain performers who make him super horny). He's not good at flirting with potential partners, so he likely has officially not slept with many people he 'knows' — at least that applies to visually. There's a good bunch of Night City people out there Ryder has gotten more or less intimate with without ever really seeing their faces at all since he uses/used to go into gay dark rooms a lot (no worries he’s super strict in terms of care and prevention). Since he's so bad at flirting, it makes him still super nervous when he actually has to make himself noticeable, he would like to do more than just talk to someone. Pretty awkward for a guy like him who is dominant in the bedroom, yeah — but it has to do with his past, the lack of self esteem he was having back then and trust issues. Most of the time others have to approach him, because he’s not likely to start something of his own accord. So making use of the dark room option helped him a lot to enjoy his sex life, and experiment more openly without having to bother about feelings in the first place. So who knows with whom Ryder has already made out with, nobody ever will know of (including him)? :P

[mystiika]

@ensuists​ asked: Going out with Isaac may be fun, but lately, he's been noticing all the complications that arise as they do. Namely the attention the other gets from pretty much everyone around and the growing frustration and jealousy he's feeling each time it happens. "I need a fucking drink," comes Ryouta's complains as they head back inside the club after getting some fresh air. True to his word, he's straight at the bar, grumbling the whole time as he fully expects (or rather, hopes) Isaac to follow. "Ugh, the fucking nerve of those girls... flirting with you like that and acting all stupid and dumb. Like hello? Have some fucking dignity, idiots." He is the one who seduced Isaac from the moment he saw him, though he's not going to comment on his hypocrisy for the time being.  "God, and the way they kept touching your arms too? Like way to be fucking obvious. I'm gonna be fucking sick in a second here." (before they get together-ish :3)

   while the attention could be nice from time to time, it was difficult when he was out with anyone, namely ryouta. with friends it was a little easier but he liked ryouta ( perhaps more than he’d like to admit ). & he could see the increasing frustration on the other’s face with every approach as their outings went on. in all honesty isaac couldn’t really understand why he would even be approached so often, but he did his best to turn people down as quickly but politely as possible. even if it was just every other outing it still felt like too much. frankly he didn’t think he was worth it but perhaps that was his own frustration speaking. larger groups were always more trouble, when drunken even more so. all he’d wanted was some air for fuck’s sake. he watched ryouta storm off which gave him a little extra push to force his way past the few girls that had been the most recent nuisance — whether it was rude or not. 

   he follows at ryouta’s heels, quick to snake an arm behind his waist when he catches up to him at the bar & places his own drink order, handing over his card to pay for anything the other wants as well.

     ❝ i’m sorry, i think they were too drunk to understand when i was trying to get them to leave me alone. ❞ one of the few moments he regrets having the muscles he does, less bicep to grab that way ( or at the very least there’d be less appeal ). but he’ll listen to ryouta complain as much as he wants. frankly he half expected for ry to just make out with him in front of them. ❝ you know, if they come up to me again, ❞ as he hooks a finger on ry’s chin to turn his face towards him, ❝ maybe we should do something like this... ❞ isaac trails off as he kisses him, his other hand naturally drawing ryouta in where it rested on his waist. perhaps carrying on kissing a little longer than was really necessary but it was ryouta’s fault for being so good at it. the kiss tastes like alcohol but isaac didn’t mind in the slightest, he’d be more likely to get drunk of ryouta’s lips than anything else anyway. ❝ are you any less mad or do i need to do that some more? ❞ the night was still young after all. 

[grubhivemind]

RYAN: -wandering around the castle again today. it's kinda nice having a big house to try and navigate and peep all the different rooms. she's a little nosy, sure, but whatever. at some point she finds a balcony to hang out on and gaze at the sights around castle. whatever those may be.-

JINJIN: -There's plenty to see, a sprawling city, and dizzying majesty skylines. Jinjin was tapping away on a datapad, important emails most likely, before stumbling onto the same balcony- JINJIN: beautiful ain't it hoe?

RYAN: yeah... -says kind of wistfully before looking over at her- 

RYAN: but not as beautiful as this hoe. <3

JINJIN: -Flips her hair.- 

JINJIN: bitch I know! :kiss:

RYAN: -leans on the railing of the balcony, chinhandsing at jin.- 

RYAN: whats up? you look like youre busy with something there.

JINJIN: emails for precious thots. the store on skaia was damaged heavily. and there's also emails pertaining tho chanda. you know, the usual. 

JINJIN: you look like you've got a lot on your mind.

RYAN: right right. busy busy busy. 

RYAN: -she shrugs though.- i mean i guess. 

RYAN: im just restless... i wanna go home but i mean. i dont think anybody is there right now. 

RYAN: and even when i get there??? what am i gonna do.

JINJIN: shank a bitch, pop that ass, and get a night job as a lounge singer? not in that particular order. 

JINJIN: -She goes ahead and leans next to her.- 

JINJIN: or you could just keep hanging out here with me.

RYAN: -smiles a little- i think i will stick to that for now. 

RYAN: its nice here. 

RYAN: and i miss yoo... :kissing_closed_eyes:

JINJIN: d'aww ain't that cute. you can kelp keep me sane while the whiny dog buoy is here.

RYAN: hahaha. 

RYAN: yeah you sure dont seem too fond of silly ass. :hugging:

JINJIN: he's clingy, whiny, and a shit head. -He also can't take dick but that's another story- 

JINJIN: but anywave, this is where I live now, and I help advise chanda since my powers help keep her level headed.

RYAN: aww. 

RYAN: thats really sweet. :heart_eyes:

RYAN: wish i had magic powers to make my boy calm his ass down... :unamused: -but then again she can't always blame him-

JINJIN: you do! it's called that na-na, gurl. put it on him, watch him chill all the way out hee hee!

RYAN: ohhhh my god. 

RYAN: i mean!!!! 

RYAN: i would but were kinda... easing into this again. i guess.

JINJIN: oh no. that's really cute though... 

JINJIN: lil ry bread is taking it slow that's how you know it's real!

RYAN: shut up. :flushed:

RYAN: its being kind of... rough tho. 

RYAN: he took me falling off the wagon pretty badly. and then he got mad at himself for being upset about it??? like i can blame him for being upset. 

RYAN: but he keeps being moody. i dunno. -slumps against the railing with a sigh, resting her head on folded arms- its complicated.

JINJIN: isn't he always kind of moody though. -She's quiet for a second.- 

JINJIN: he really cares, but he shouldn't shit on himself for caring. it'll work out, babygill. -Reaches a scratches Ryans head gently-

RYAN: -nuzzles a little into her hand.- mmm. :persevere:

RYAN: i hope so. RYAN: im worried about him too after what happened... not just cuz of his injury but his visions are like way intense. and he had one about the attack on skaia. RYAN: i remember they used to make him really depressed... ugh. 

RYAN: I JUST!!!! 

RYAN: feelings.

JINJIN: I could see why something so intense would make him feel that way, especially if he can't control them. -Deep within Ryan might be feeling small comforts. Jack is alive, he's strong, and persevering. There may even be a way to help train his powers. With all the abilities their family and friends have, it's not far fetched. There exists hope, she just needs to believe in it- 

JINJIN: I know it's a lot babygill.

RYAN: -she seems to give into these comforts, leaning against jinjin some more. it's such a relief to be here... around jinjin, familiar faces, but a new environment too. as stressed as she is, it strangely gives her breathing room. enough to put things into perspective a little easier.- 

RYAN: ... i miss you a lot you know.

JINJIN: -That makes her heat sink a little, put into perspective how scarce she really was. She really wasn't there for her family anymore, even if they were scattered across the galaxy. Jinjin keeps petting her head, a soft and sad smile crossing her lips.- 

JINJIN: I miss you too. a girl should never be too busy for family.

RYAN: -it's not like ryan can talk, being the runaway and all. at least jinjin keeps in touch. but maybe that's what makes it extra difficult -- seeing how everyone has changed and all the ways their lives are different, completely seperate from her own... it reminds her of everything she missed out on. she should've been around to watch jinjin grow. she should've grown with her.- 

RYAN: at least i know where to find you. :kissing_eyes_closed:

JINJIN: please feel free to come bother me whenever. I'll sit on you, if you don't. 38p

RYAN: :scream:

RYAN: i wont be able to survive your big old booty squarshing me!

JINJIN: gonna make a hoecake! 3B;D

[chevvy-yates]

Ry'n'Thy circling in my head all day today.

So I sat down and tryed writing sth down a bit.

it is not presentable yet. just thoughts and loose more or less rather intimate talks.

will take a while because I do not like my style of writing much.

I bet I will be hovering over it for months.

[chevvy-yates]

I wish I could be hyped in any way about cp gets finally an expansion plus new stuff.

Yet all I can think about is I only want to play when mods work.

And I can't hype myself into it bc my cp world that built up through the last full year is after the events of this game. All of my ocs do not have a single thing to do with what happened in the main game.

I'll have a hard time to use Ryder's save and play the game with him as V because he is not.

Vijay used to be V. But on ps4 before he got all his backstory. Now he would rather die than to have Johnny in his head. I can't do that to him so I take Ry indested bc he already lives with a voice in his head. But still ugh.

I have no Canon V. My Canon V is a friend's V - Arki. But I do not want to use my friends save either (she allowed me) bc I would not play Arki like he should be. He would be only a different version.

Why is it all so complicated...

I used to enjoy cp back then when I started in late 2020. But then I felt sick for a long time with no reason during this shitty pandemic (no I didn't have rona) which made me stop playing any game for 2 years and ever since then I never found the joy to play games anymore. My memory about cyberpunk main story is kinda lost. I remember only bits and I want to play the game but then again I don't want to play the game bc I have no V anymore that fits this story. And I refuse to create another one bc I have my own version of this world where there is no place for my V bc I have a friend's V.

Nothing of this makes any sense at all.

Ah fuck.