#and she cried and went 'oh fuck you chris martin' at the same time

[weedle-testaburger]

the funniest musical paradox is how everyone hates fix you but everyone cries to fix you

[brokenlibrarygirl]

a word on the emotional impact of the MCU

I was fully prepared to cry like Chris Evans in first hour... but nope it was more like the last 30 minutes. Not heaving cries like at the end of The Hobbit trilogy (Look at the birds....kills me every time fuck you Martin Freeman).  More like a controlled constant leakage.

The random dude next to me... 20s, sorta awkward... totally fully sobbing. Like audible gulping. I couldn’t even look at him to give him a tissue I was so distraught for him. Like good for you bud. I’m sorry your mourning like this, but so am I and I can’t help you right now.

It is a mourning, just like at the end of The Hobbit of this is the end of an era, of familiar characters and vibes. Sure the Marvel universe will continue, but it won’t be the same.  

OH and yeah...Black Widow’s hair was tragic. IDK if it was laziness or no clue of how long it takes for a dye job to grow out... and that she wouldn’t try to dye it to avoid roots, even after a disaster.  You can buy dye and peanut butter at the same store.   She went through 2-3 shades of red over her multiple movie appearances......like come on.

[stilesderekscottissacandme]

Ice Pick

So, while I was being attacked by Issac, Allison and Scott were at Issac's house and Allison locked Scott in the freezer because of the full moon. Well, from what Allison told me there was some kind of "reptile man thing with a tail" that tried to attack Allison, but Scott broke out from the freezer and scared the "reptile man thing with a tail" off.. Now we are trying to figure out exactly what the hell we are dealing with. But school doesn't care if there are reptile man things running around town attacking people, so we are all in gym class right now. And let me tell you, Beacon Hills gym class has us do the most outrageous things. Like today, for example, today we are  doing competitive rock climbing on one of those fake rock walls.

Scott and Allison went first. They talked and Allison was a head of Scott for about 2 maybe 3 minutes, then Scott used his super speed and shit and got past her while she was busy climbing. He laughed at the look on her face when she noticed he was farther than her. I  couldn't help but laugh with the rest of  the class when Allison kicked Scott's foot. Scott fell, the rope thing that was tide to his waist made him stopped like 2 inches before he hit the ground.

"McCall, I don't know why, but your pain gives me a special kind of joy. Right? All right, next two. Blackridge, Erica, let's go. The wall." Coach laughed. I tied the required stuff around myself and set off climbing the wall, Erica was a little bit slower with it. When she was halfway to where I was she almost fell. I glanced back down at her and she looked like she might be sick. She was on the verge of tears.

"Oh, please –" She cried as she latched onto the wall. She wasn't looking too good. From the expression on her face and her breathing, I could tell she was having some kind of an anxiety attack. The class surrounded the bottom of the wall and watched as Erica tried not to cry.

"Erica. Dizzy? Is it vertigo?" Coach asked, I rolled my eyes at how dumb that question was, and was about to correct him when Lydia did.

"Vertigo's a dysfunction of the vestibular system of the inner ear. She's just freaking out." Lydia said. I looked down at Erica and saw that she was losing color in her face, so I jumped back down to her.

"Are you okay, Erica." I asked. She looked over at me with panic in her eyes and I couldn't help but place a and on her shoulder in hopes it would soothe her...But it didn't...

"I'm fine." She lied, her voice cracking.

"Coach, maybe it's not safe. You know she's epileptic." Allison called from under us. It all made sense now, that's why she was scared to be off the ground.. That's why she was panicking..

"Why doesn't anybody tell me this stuff? I have to get - Erica, y - you're fine. Just - Just kick off from the wall. Th - There's a mat to catch you. Come on. See, you're fine. You're on the ground. You're all right. Let's go. Shake it off. You're fine." Coach said, to make Erica feel better about having to get off the wall, I followed her down. I might not be a guardian with healing powers but I still empathize with people, more than I did before Scott got bitten.

"Listen up. Anybody sees Isaac Lahey, you immediately tell the principal. Get a teacher, or you call me. Except for you, Greenberg. Don't call me for anything. I'm not kidding. Don't call me. You shouldn't even have my number." Coach said. His undying hatred for Greenberg  was very amusing.

"Isaac?" I asked, lifting a hand up to the bruised eye. It still hurt like a bitch.

"It's Derek's problem now." Stiles said as we walked to our lockers.

*Time skip*

"What do you mean tonight's not a good idea?" Stiles asked Scott who had just told us that he didn't think going to the skating rink was a good idea with the reptile man thing with a tail, running around town. I still thought that the way Ali had described it was amazing.

"I don't know. That thing that we saw last night, Isaac missing, Allison's grandfather. All this stuff happening with Derek, I just - doesn't feel right." Scott said. I understood where he was coming from, Stiles hadn't seen what Gerard had done to that omega...

"You mean the reptile man thing with a tail?" I asked. I got this feeling in my chest and walked to the bathroom after kissing Stiles. My hands started shaking and I ran out of the bathroom, straight passed the boys, to the gym.

Erica was struggling to keep herself on the wall, she wasn't even strapped up to anything. She was crying as well, I saw her start to twitch and then she let go of the wall. I ran as fast as I could and ended up throwing myself on the ground so that she wouldn't hit it. She landed on my  stomach and was seizing out. I freaked out and saw that everyone else was running to us.

"Put her on her side. Put her on her side." Allison said, and I did. I had my hand on her forehead and let out a frustrated cry when nothing happened. I can't help.. Stiles sat down next to me and pulled my hand away from her face. But my other hand, Erica had grasped onto and was holding it while she violently shook. I didn't mind though..

"How'd you know?" He asked. Tears were forming in my eyes but I forced them back.

"I just felt it." I said as Erica clenched onto my hand. "I can't help anyone anymore Stiles.." I cried. He kissed my hair but didn't say anything. even he knew it was true..

When Scott, Stiles and I went to lunch, Stiles had to go talk to Boyd who was sitting at his table by himself...As usual. I watched as the 2 conversed and it ended with Stiles pulling out $50. He came back to our table and sat down while holding a set of keys.

"Got 'em. Pick you up right after work tonight and we'll meet at the rink, cool?" He said, we nodded but watched as someone walked into the lunch room. At first I didn't recognize her at all. She was wearing a short mock leather skirt that didn't leave much to imagine with a white shirt and a leather jacket. Her heels were leopard print and at least 8 inches, at least. Her hair was wavy and she was wearing bright red lipstick. She looked fucking hot.

"What in the holy hell is that?" I heard Lydia ask as she set her hands onto the table in the over dramatic way that is Lydia Martin.

"It's Erica." Scott and I said at the same time. Every one had turned to watch as Erica knelt beside a boy, her short skirt barely covering her. She grabbed the boys apple and took a single bite from it. Wiping her mouth seductively before walking out with her hips swaying. Scott, Stiles and I jumped up and ran after her, following her out the front doors, to see her get into Derek's car.  The two smiled at us then drove off. Erica was a werewolf... Damn it Derek...Although, this could change her life for the better..

When the 3 o'clock bell rang I went over to Allison's with her and Lydia, so we could, as Lydia said, have some girl time. I honestly really didn't want to go but I mean, I bailed on them last time so I can't really say no. Scott and Stiles were supposed to meet up with us at the Skating rink after Scott got off of work. The ride to Allison's house was slightly tense at first, that is until Lydia started ranting on about how Erica looked like a total skank. I couldn't help but agree, her  outfit may have been a little bit too revealing. Her skirt barely covered her ass, and the outfit she was wearing clung to her showing off her curves. When we got to the house I awkwardly followed the two inside. Everything was so much different now, everyone in the house knew who and what I was..They knew that I was human now, which I assume is why no one tried to kill me.

Allison and Lydia got snacks, a bag of chips and some cookies her mom made, then showed me the way to Allison's room. Lydia sat on the chair and pulled out her phone and started taking selfies. I awkwardly sat on the floor, with my back against the dresser and my legs crossed. Allison said I could sit on the bed but I declined her offer and stayed on the floor. We talked about little shit, and Allison and Lydia got ready for the ice skating rink. I pulled on a purple pair of really thick tights that Allison gave me. I also put on a pink sweat shirt I had in my bag and some green gloves. Allison let me borrow some black boots. After we got dressed and were about to leave Allison's father pulled us outside the door to talk. I was afraid that he was going to bring up me or Scott.

"Headed out?" He asked. I pulled on the sleeve of my jacket..

"Studying. Just studying, dad."  Allison said. I held my breath as if I would let on to where we were really going, if I so much as inhaled.

"I get it. But we need you to remember what happened." Chris said as he gestured to Lydia who was still sitting in the chair.

"You want us to stop being friends with her?" I asked as I looked from Lydia to Allison and back to Chris.

"Actually, we want the opposite. I know how this might sound, but we need you to keep an eye on her." Chris said and I sucked in a breath that could have been categorized as a gasp.  

"You want us to spy on her?" Allison asked, her voice causing me to jump.

"We want you to look out for your friend to make sure everything's okay with her." Chris said, Allison and I turned back to Lydia taking various selfies with her feet in the air. Wow, that girl hasn't changed at all, has she?

"Seems okay to me." I said as I turned to look at Chris. He just nodded and walked away.

When we arrived at the Ice rink, I couldn't help but shiver as we got our skates on. Lydia was sitting next to Stiles and I while Allison and Scott sat over by themselves. They were so unbelievably cute together.

"Could it be any colder in here?" Lydia asked as she shivered. We were the only ones who were in the Ice rink.

"Here." Stiles said as he pulled out an orange hoodie. I couldn't help it when the darkness flared up telling me that he will only love Lydia.

"I'm wearing blue. Orange and blue, not a good combination." Lydia said as she rolled her eyes. I got into my own bag and searched for the navy blue jacket I had packed in my bag just in case.

"But it's the colors of the Mets." Stiles said as Lydia and I both gave him an ' are you serious look'. Then he went back to his bag and pulled out a Reeces cup and handed it to me. I shared it with Lydia.  "Okay, um, maybe orange and blue is not the best. Right, you know, um, sometimes there's other things you wouldn't think would be a good combination end up turning out to be, like, a perfect combination, you know, like two people together - Who nobody ever thought would be together ever." Stiles said as I pulled out the jacket and for a second I believed that he was talking about him and Lydia. He couldn't be, right?  I handed Lydia the jacket and she slid it over her head.

"No, I can see that." Lydia said as she patted down the jacket.

"You can?" I asked in surprise. Was Stiles sitting here flirting with Lydia right in front of me?

"Yeah. They're cute together." Lydia said gesturing to Allison and Scott who were giggling together.

"Oh, I meant me and Alex...But yeah, they're cute too." Stiles said as he wrapped my hand in his own.

"Cute." Lydia said causing me to blush harder than I already was.

"Cute. Adorable. Sexy. Gorgeous." Stiles said whispering the last 2 in my ear causing me to turn and kiss him. Lydia's eyes went big for a second. Then we all walked onto the Ice. I was a little scared at first as I watched Scott and Allison walk up to the ice, they stopped right before getting onto the ice itself.

"Since you never skated before, maybe I should give you a few pointers?" Asked Allison

"Allison. Not that this is news to you or anything, but you remember the werewolf thing? Super speed, strength and reflexes." Scott laughed. Allison and I both rolled out eyes.

"So a little ice skating should be no problem." Allison asked as she walked onto the ice.

"Yeah. See? It's no problem - ugh! Maybe." Scott said as I burst into laughter, as soon as he walked onto the ice he fell. He ended up falling over and over as I skated around the rink with Stiles. I watched Lydia spinning in the air with the thought that if she were to fall, I wouldn't be able to help. We passed Allison and Scott a few more times before Scott fell and hit his head for the first time. I skated over to see if he was okay.

"I think I'm getting the hang of it!" Scott said as he tried to pull himself up.

"You look like you hit your head that time." I said.

"What's that, coach?" Scott asked and I started laughing again.

"You definitely hit your head." Allison laughed. I started skating again as Allison and Scott went to go do whatever.

As I passed Stiles again I noticed a look of confusion on Lydia's face. She had bent down and was holding something in her hand. I skated over to her and looked to see what it was she was looking at..The only problem was, there was nothing in her hand. Stiles had gone to use the bathroom as I had skated over to Lydia.

"Lydia?" I asked. She just held up a finger to her lips. She began skating very slowly, as if following something.  Then she dropped to the ground and started moving the frost that was on the ice. Before I knew what was going on Lydia was on the ground screaming. I wrapped my arms around her as Scott, Allison, and Stiles ran over to us. I looked up and they stared at the 2 of us in pure confusion.

*Time Skip*

Scott and I stood behind Erica as she was standing at her locker. We needed answers, that only someone in Derek's circle could provide. Erica turned around to look at us with a big smile on her face.

"Two's not enough for Derek. I know he needs at least three. So who's next?"  Scott said.

"Why does there have to be a next when we've already got you two, well, you Scott?" Erica said as if she was trying to push me over the edge.

"Who's next?" I growled in a threatening voice.

"You know, I never knew what I looked like during a seizure until someone took a video of me once and put it online?" Erica said, ignoring me.

"I don't care." Scott said in annoyance.

"It happened during class. I started seizing in my desk and everyone was saying how they should put something in my mouth until some genius reads the card on my key ring which tells him not to 'cause it could break my teeth." Erica said, I could see the pain in her eyes, but we needed her to answer the question.

"Erica." I said in a low voice.

"Do you know what happens next? I piss myself. And they start laughing. You know, the only good thing about seizures was thatI never remembered them." Erica said as she walked closer to Scott.  "Until some brilliant jerkoff - had to go and put cameras in everybody's phone." She said as she pinned him against the locker.  "Look at me now, Scott. That's right. You only have eyes for her." She said as we all looked down the hall to see Allison watching with a pain warped expression. Scott grabbed her arms and pulled them off of him, only getting a smile from Erica. The darkness was screaming in my head telling me to hurt her and I wanted to, my hands were clenched so tight my knuckles went white. I was about to bring my fist up when Scott looked at me.

"Alex." He said. "Don't." And that's all I needed for it to stop.

That day at lunch we sat at our usual table, Scott and Stiles and I. Allison and Scott had already talked about what happened with Erica, but because they were still secretly dating they couldn't sit with each other.

"Guys. Do you see that?" I said pointing to the table in front of us.

"What, it's an empty table." Scott said.

"Yeah, but whose empty table?" I asked.

"Boyd." Scott and Stiles said at the same time. We got up and left the lunch room.

"Stiles and I are going to go to the ice - rink, see if he's there. And if he's not at home, you call me, got it?" Scott said looking from me to Stiles I nodded but Stiles had this look on his face as if he weren't sure about it being bad.

"What?" I asked looking at him with big eyes.

"Maybe we should let him. Boyd, you know, man? You said Derek's giving them a choice, right?" Stiles said, confirming my theory.  

"We can't." Scott and I said with out missing a beat

"You gotta admit, Erica looks pretty good. You know, the word "sensational" comes to mind." Stiles said, egging the darkness on.

"Yeah. How good do you think she's gonna look with a wolfsbane bullet in her head?" I snapped.

"All right, all I'm saying is maybe this one isn't totally your responsibility." Stiles said, directing it mainly to Scott.

"They all are. And you know this thing's gonna get out of control. That makes me responsible." Scott said.

"All right, I'm with you. And I also gotta say this new - found heroism is making me very attracted to you." Stiles laughed, I rolled my eyes. I knew they had a little bit of Bromance going on...but come on....

"Shut up." Scott said.

"No, seriously. Do you wanna just try making out for a sec? Just to see how it feels." Stiles said causing my eyes to bulge. "Kidding." Stiles said wrapping an arm around my back.

*Time skip*

When I got to Boyd's house, I knocked on the door a few times. I had dropped Stiles and Scott off at the rink, Stiles refused to let it be the other way around, so I had his jeep.

"Hey, Boyd? Hey, Boyd? It's Alex." I said in between knocks. . "Oh - wow." I jumped.

"What are you doing here, Alex?" Erica said with a menacing tone. Great..

"Uh, nothing, I was just looking for, um –" I lost my train of thought as I remembered all the shit Erica has already done.

"Boyd?" She finished.

"Exactly." I said. "Now, why don't you leave me the fuck alone, Erica. I don't want any problems. So, shoo." I said. Erica stuck a hand around my wrist, pinning me to the wall and the other on my chest.

"You know, I have had the biggest crush on Stiles for a very long time. But he never noticed me, not the way he noticed you. But wait, the only reason he did is because you moved in with his best friend. Was your mommy a crack whore? Did your daddy beat you, Alex? Is that why you had to find new home?" Erica said, causing my heart rate to rise and my body to shake in anger. she smiled at the sound of my racing heart.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, Erica? Just because you were stupid enough to take the bite, doesn't mean that you are better than anyone. Now you are just a slut with claws." I said as I tried to even my breathing. Don't try to breathe, Alex. Attack her.

"I know that you think about it, Alex. I can literally smell the jealousy on you. You want it, don't you?" She asked. I didn't answer, only looked away. "You so do. How do you think Scott and Stiles would feel if I told them that they're perfect little.." She stopped mid sentence and sniffed the air. I knew what she smelled, it was my blood, she had re-opened my cuts. She moved her hand on my chest and used it to roll up my sleeve. I clenched my eyes shut and tried pushing her off of me. She backed off a little bit. Allowing me to roll it back down. When I looked up at her I could see pain  and remorse on her face.

"Alex..I.." Then her face changed. "I didn't know you were so weak." She smiled. I knew that she was faking it. I could tell. But it didn't stop the darkness from taking control for a split second. I clinched my hand and brought it against her perfect face. She looked amused as she grabbed me by the throat and lifted me into the air.

"Erica, stop.." I said between breaths. This only resulted in her grip tightening. I felt a drop of blood run down my wrist. "Erica..I need to go find Scott...Please..." I said with tears falling down my face.

" You see, you are nothing compared to me. You are weak. You aren't anything but the broken shell of potential." She said as she set me onto the ground. When I got back up I had tears running down my face and before I knew what happened I felt pain on the side of my head and was pulled into the numbing feeling of unconsciousness.

I was awaken by Stiles, we were in his jeep and I asked where we were going. He said to Deaton's because Derek and Scott had gotten into a fight. Scott was apparently cut up pretty badly. I told Stiles about what happened with Erica and he didn't say anything, just kissed me on the forehead. I only left out the part about the cuts..