#and shhhh we'll get to logan eventually

[hiddendreamer67]

Tiny Mer!Sanders Angst Pt. 12

Part 12 to a story based on @secretglittersauce‘s tiny mer!sides angst prompt. Infinitesimal Fins is BACK, baby!!! And Virgil’s depressed, but what else is new? :D

October prompt #13: Shake

Potentially triggering content: depressive/suicidal thoughts

Check my reblog for links to the previous parts. I also have a writing blog now! @hiddendreamerwriting

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Virgil’s gaze snapped up, hearing the sound of the front door opening. Remy was back.

No, the human was back. The one keeping him captive and separated from his brothers. However, despite this, Virgil didn’t have the energy to even continue actively hating on the human. 

Who cared if he was judged for it? It didn’t matter. None of this mattered. Virgil was just going to die one day trapped away in this cage like some sort of defenseless animal- possibly one day soon, based on how his stomach kept growling at him. 

Every few days his primal instincts caved, eating a piece or two of the floating tidbits that could hardly be considered ‘food’. They were vile, but nutritious. Virgil was forced to live another day. Today was just another one of those days.

Remy set his bag down, and Virgil watched the way his eyes scanned over Virgil’s enclosure. Inspecting the way Virgil sat in the same position as always, dejectedly slumped against the back glass wall in the east right corner. Sulking. Brooding. His tail twitching restlessly every so often, but Virgil had grown accustomed to ignoring his fight or flight reflexes. There was nowhere to run and nobody to fight. Instead Virgil forced himself to grow idle, accustomed to his new life of loneliness that was all his fault.

Sometimes Virgil wondered if he was the last one left. He had never heard word of any of his brothers when they left the pet shop for good- perhaps they hadn’t ended up with such fortunate owners. The idea of Virgil being the one to get lucky would be a sick twist of fate, wouldn’t it? Virgil got them into this mess, and now Virgil would be the only one to survive it. 

Virgil huffed, pointedly avoiding Remy’s gaze as the scrapping of the desk chair echoed in his ears. He was meant to be grateful, he supposed. If not for this human, Virgil would have been sold off as baracuda chow. And yet Virgil kept wondering if perhaps that would’ve been a better fate for him- he was of no use to anyone. Virgil had only ever been a screw up his whole life, so why not just be done with him? It was the circle of life. Being eaten by a bigger fish would at least have given Virgil a purpose that wasn’t merely being a pathetic anchor holding his brothers back.

And yet….. And yet. Virgil glanced up at the few remaining pellets of flaky fish food floating idly at the top of the water. Only three pieces, when earlier in the day there had been seven. It seemed that despite himself, Virgil couldn’t seem to let go. 

He wanted to live, to swim with his brothers through the reefs and have Patton hold him close and exchange quips with Roman and for Logan to teach him all the best ways to defend each other. Virgil missed ducking through the seaweed forests and tending the algae even if it had a habit of obnoxiously growing all over the cave. Indeed, the young mer was so selfishly invested in the idea of normalcy that he was still terrified of leaving this life behind, even when Virgil knew he’d never have any sort of happiness like that again.

“Glad you’re eating again, gurl.” Remy commented, and Virgil felt the currents shift around him as that plastic net came and went, scooping out the soggy flakes to be replaced in the morning. Perhaps sooner, if Remy was going to try to make him eat twice in one day. Virgil doubted he’d give the human the satisfaction. 

Usually, this would be when Remy took his leave. He’d make some sort of snarky comment to tease Virgil, maybe tap on the glass a bit to get a reaction and ensure Virgil wasn’t truly a living corpse, and then go do whatever the hell it was he did when the loud music blasted through the walls and made Virgil’s head spin.

It seemed today was not set out to be a usual day.

“I talked about you at work today.” Remy said casually, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. It was impossible to see the human’s eyes with the black sunglasses he always wore, but Virgil could tell Remy was staring him down. “Thomas came in.”

Thomas? Virgil didn’t know who that was, or why he would care. One human was already far too many in his opinion. 

“Turns out he and his little fish bud have been getting along swimmingly.” Remy paused, lowering his shades. “Pun intended.”

Little fish bud? Wait… did that mean… was Thomas one of the humans who took his brothers away? Virgil was suddenly much more enraptured in this conversation, and he cursed his poor memory for not knowing which brother this might be. Patton? Logan? Roman?

“I hear you’ve been holding out on me.” Remy tsked. “Tommy’s mer talks.”

What? Virgil frowned, his eyebrows furrowing. How was that possible? And why would they do that? Humans couldn’t be trusted. But then again… wouldn’t his brothers know better than he? But what if Remy was just lying? 

Remy leaned closer, removing his glasses entirely to inspect Virgil in a way that made the mer truly feel like he was back on display at the pet shop.

“You can understand me, can’t you?” Remy murmured. “Boi I might be trippin’ but if you can talk, you better start speaking up about why you’re so cranky all the time.”

Virgil froze, trying to make no indication either way, not wanting to do the wrong thing and screw up everything somehow. Should he speak? But Virgil didn’t even know how, the human’s words were so sharp and light whilst Virgil was used to the deeper rumblings of the sea.

Virgil watched warily as Remy’s hands came up on either side of the tank. He yelped, thrown into motion as Remy shook the container. Not enough to hurt, but enough to be a nuisance, throwing Virgil out of his familiar corner.

“Well?” Remy pressed, pausing his movements and letting the whirlpool still, swirling Virgil around in a circle. “Go on then, say something.” 

Virgil grimaced, glaring down his annoying human who couldn’t seem to understand that the mer just wanted to be left alone. He certainly wasn’t going to try to appease Remy now. 

“I’m not going to give you the satisfaction.” Virgil spat in his native mer tongue. He couldn’t, even if he wanted to; Virgil wouldn’t even know where to start. Remy quirked an eyebrow, watching Virgil’s lips move. 

“Gotta speak up if you want me to hear you.” Remy commented. “Can’t hear you underwater, lil’ beta.”

Virgil’s nose twitched irritably at the nickname, but he didn’t bother replying this time. Instead he stuck out his tongue, shaming Remy in true juvenile fashion. For a moment Virgil felt a familiar pang of nostalgia, remembering the way Roman would let out that silly noise of offense whenever Virgil did the same to him. 

But Roman wasn’t here.

“...fine then.” Remy sighed dramatically, releasing his hold on the tank. “Guess you don’t have anything important to say, anyway.”

Oh, Virgil had plenty of important things to say. He wanted to screech at Remy for hours, scolding him for never saving his brothers when they couldn’t save themselves. Virgil wanted to yell at all of humanity, shaming them for exploiting Virgil’s weakness to get their grimy paws on everyone else. 

But most of all, Virgil wanted to shake his fist at the world, cursing life for its cruelty and assuring the universe that Virgil wasn’t going to submit so easily.

And maybe… Virgil moved his lips again, attempting to replicate the way Remy so easily pushed air from his lungs. He glanced up at the surface of the water, the light shining down for once not feeling so oppressing. Was this his chance? Some sort of sign from above, showing Virgil the way out of this mess?

There was no guarantee that Remy would listen. Virgil would probably swim out of this feeling crushed and alone, Remy forcing him to talk and taunting him once he knew why Virgil hated this place. But at this point, Virgil was running low on options.

Virgil would practice. If he couldn’t do it, then fine. But he was tired of not having a say in his own fate.