#and tbh I'm not sure every character pictured here will actually make an appearance in the fic but

[tokoro-ga-dokkoi]

WELCOME...! Today I will introduce you to the Kaiji spinoff Jokyou Seikatsuroku Ichijou, in Morning magazine.

Jokyou Seikatsuroku Ichijou: "chapter 0" review

This is rare. It's only in this Morning issue, not reprinted in a tankobon. I purchased the physical edition. So I hope you don't mind if I post these. Please forgive me. (For chapter reviews of true chapters, I won't post any actual chapter pages, only panels and description.) Pictures and edited DeepL translations are below this cut.

This is the cover. When this manga was announced online, it was a mosaic-blurred version of this illustration. His clothes are revealed- he is relaxing at home, enjoying a mikan under the kotatsu. A Japanese custom for the New Year.

Contents page. A pose similar to his appearance in the Kaiji season 2 OP.

A front cover 4 colour page introduction. How luxurious! Even Tonegawa is jealous, he only had a 1-page intro. This page is a meta comic (it is a page from the Entertainment chapter of Tonegawa spinoff, edited with different dialogue).

ICHI: "I'm here to say hello! I'll be playing the main role in 'Jokyo Seikatsuroku Ichijou'. My name is Ichijou Seiya....!" TONE: "Hmm...." ICHI: "As I'm sure you know, Tonegawa-sensei... To be clear... This work is a spin-off...! I wish to follow the example of Tonegawa-sensei, who worked on 'Chuukan Kanriroku Tonegawa'. I hope to take a leap forward with this work. But... It will be serialised in 'Morning'. As we don't want to confuse the new readers... It is necessary to introduce myself, tenfold, twentyfold....!! I am a newcomer, but I have 4 colour pages, and a front cover. It's not a problem, is it? Hehehe... TONE: (Guh... When my spin-off was new, I only got 1 page... In Monthly Young Magazine...)

Now to the next page.

The official Ichijou introduction is hilarious tbh. Summarised:

POINT 1: Maintainer and developer of The Bog POINT 2: HE'S HOT POINT 3: HE'S MOÉ

Point 1 page and profile:

A page about his most addictive gambling machine.

The serialization of "Jokyo Seikatsuroku Ichijou" has started! Some of you may ask, "Who is this Ichijou in the first place?" Well, he is a very popular character who fought a ferocious battle with Kaiji in Young Magazine. We will give you an in-depth look at Ichijou Seiya!

DATA Workplace: Illegal casino directly maintaned by consumer finance company Teiai Group Position: Casino manager Routine: Adjusting the nails of "The Bog" Disliked People: Kaiji, Chairman Hyoudou, local classmates Favourite Phrases: "Tenfold, twentyfold", "Foolish dream", "This is reality"

The other paragraphs mainly describe the Bog itself and its specs.

The next page is a precious treasure...

Ichijou Point 2: Almost the only handsome guy in the "Kaiji" series!! It's a far cry from Kaiji's beer-guzzling and the Chairman's lapping of fine wine from a basin! Ichijou's unparalleled elegance! In the world of "Kaiji", where basically only old men with bad faces appear, Ichijou is an exceptionally handsome character. The fact that the man Kaiji was fighting before was the middle-aged, thread-eyed, dumpling-nosed, round-cropped Foreman Ootsuki, should give you an idea of the uniqueness of the situation. From tending to his nails and eyebrows in the manager's office to enjoying a glass of wine or coffee with his blacksuits, his every move is elegant. However, handsome guys are always frowned upon, and not only by his nemesis Kaiji, but even by his very own boss Chairman Hyoudou, who calls him 'snooty'." “I always…” “Hated his face…！” “Just looking at him makes me sick……….！” Handsome looks were a liability for Ichijou, unknowingly raising Chairman Hyoudou's ire. How unlucky!

Ichijou Point 3: Brilliant, cunning, worrying, and... pitiable! He is such a snooty handsome man, but as a result of his disadvantaged circumstances and the hard days he endured at Teiai, he has developed a distorted personality that makes him seem not popular at all- this is Ichijou's surprisingly endearing charm. The great man at Teiai praises Kaiji, so the primary school boy-like Ichijou gets involved with him in a fierce rivalry, and the pachinko balls' whereabouts gives him joy and sorrow with unusual amplitude... We invite you to witness Ichijou who is full of varied charms, in "Tobaku Hakairoku Kaiji".

Yes, I like these phrases: 「多彩な魅力たっぷりの一条」 「一条の何とも愛おしい魅力だ。」 「小学生男子な一条」 is sort of weird though, like shotacon bait ww.

不憫 (I translated as 'pitiable') has an affectionate connotation, you can read about this word.

Ichijou's official introduction spends 1 whole page talking about how hot and cute he is. It's no surprise- Ichijou was officially described as the 2nd Most Moé Fukumoto Character in Kaiji season 2's original broadcast. Next is a page of his memorable quotes.

Introducing a number of quotes filled with the charm of Ichijou, the villain who wavers your heart...!

Indeed. He wavers your heart, because many viewers and readers of the Bog arc say that they didn't know who they should cheer for. Two young men full of dreams. (Indeed- one of the anime staff said in a staff comment that Ichijou is like the second protagonist of his arc while also being the villain- I'll try to find it and post it).

The TOKORO GA DOKKOI scene is described:

※『賭博破戒録カイジ』12巻216Pより) 土壇場でカイジの猛攻をしのぎ切ったときに思わず飛び出た一言。 テンパリすぎて言葉遣いが変になっているところ、 カジノ店長にあるまじき本音で周囲の客をドン引きさせているところが愛おしい。 (* From "Tobaku Haikairoku Kaiji" volume 12, page 216) When he survives Kaiji's fierce onslaught at the last minute, this phrase pops out unexpectedly. The fact that he is so tense that his wording goes all funny, and that he is making the customers around him feel uncomfortable with his true feelings, which is unbecoming of a casino manager, is adorable.

That's right, 愛おしい. Adorable, precious, endearing etc. Tokoro ga dokkoi = tokoro ga itoshii. I thought I was just toxoplasmosis-infected for finding this scene very cute, but it turns out I'm perfectly normal.

''テンパリ'', odd turn of phrase, and [dangerously close to the circle-name of a certain artist known for his Ichijou doujins] it is a slang term for tempermental, and derived from mahjong 'tenpai'.

You can tell that this introduction was written by a based Ichijou enjoyer because I agree with everything stated. The writer understands the appeal perfectly and articulates it perfectly. Did Hagiten write it?

If you now understand Ichijou's charm... Turn the page and GO!

To next chapter....

[sage-nebula]

Threw these together as they’re relevant for a little thing I’m working on. Notes for myself under the cut:

Keith: 

(Mega) Charizard (X) --- Mars --- (m)

Pyroar --- Red --- (f)

Aegislash --- Luxite --- (m)

(Midday) Lycanroc --- Nyx --- (f)

Talonflame --- Sunspot --- (f)

Tyranitar --- Avalanche --- (m)

Lotor:

(Mega) Metagross --- Alkahest --- (n/a)

Rapidash --- Arion --- (f)

Zoroark --- Loki --- (m)

Noivern --- Erebus --- (m)

Spiritomb --- Djinn --- (m)

Silvally --- Dæmon --- (f)

Acxa:

(Mega) Lucario --- Missile --- (m)

Umbreon --- Cerberus --- (m)

Kingdra --- Sniper --- (f)

Weavile --- Widow --- (f)

Arcanine --- Champion --- (f)

Salamence --- Ragnarok --- (m)

Ezor:

(Mega) Mawile --- Wily --- (f)

Kecleon --- Lee-Lee --- (m)

Scrafty --- Scaffafras --- (m)

Gorebyss --- Bys-Bys --- (f)

Crobat --- Batatat --- (m)

Mismagius --- Missy --- (f)

Zethrid:

(Mega) Aggron --- Ender --- (m)

Emboar --- Punisher --- (m)

Krookodile --- Thrasher --- (f)

Bewear --- Crusher --- (m)

Ferrothorn --- Blaster --- (f)

Haxorus --- Dicer --- (f)

Narti:

Liepard --- Kova --- (m)

(Mega) Sableye --- Lazuli --- (f)

Meowstic --- Maahes --- (m)

Mimikyu --- Noz --- (f)

Kommo-o --- Rex --- (m)

Wobbuffet --- Infinite --- (m)

[quarthly]

Twilight characters as random animals that I think are oddly fitting

(Also yes, I am roasting the animals as well)

Edward: He would be a Cheetah. Now I know, seems like a cop out just because of his speed but hear me out. Cheetahs are, at face value, pretty cool. They used to be my favorite animal as a child, but then I grew up.

Cheetahs, through no fault of their own, are severely inbred. Now thats mainly because of poaching, but the cheetas anxiety also comes into play. In captivity, cheetahs are usually given emotional support dogs. I will admit it is cute but it negatively affects the population. Excluding one in the wild, cheetas can be to anxious to breed and thats not good for conservation efforts.

Cheetahs can hit up to 80 miles per hour in a couple of seconds. They are designed for fast running and agility. Their claws are similar to that of a dogs for better traction and they have elongated spines for longer strides. They have a thin build, long legs and a long tail for balance.

This has downsides though. Many times after making a kill, it will get stolen for them by larger predators. Thats right, they get absolutely bodied by the other animals. I should probably make these shorter but I'm on a rant now, so I guess this will be semi educational.

Throughout the series, we see Edward over estimated his abilities and value, constantly getting bodied by others. He's essentially a perfect mormon, though thats on S'meyers. He constantly judges others, dehumanizing them to their baser flaws, without doing any self reflecting. Him viewing himself as a monster doesn't really count to me. While he definitely hates himself, the only thing he is truly demonizing is being a vampire.

Bella: Picking up from Edwards, Bella is a Chocolate Labrador. Yes, she is his therapy dog. I feel like this is really fitting for her. I know Golden retriever would make more sense, as thats the most common breed for service animals. However, I kind of focused on her appearance. Only at first though! I just know that Edward raved about her human qualities and that would pass over as animals as well. Her chocolate eyes and brown fur, very average and boring. Thats essentially Bella. Even Edward wasn't into her until he got a wiff. Labradors a very loyal dogs and while they have more personality than Bella, I just couldn't shake it. Their also very stupid. Ok that's kind of mean, they're not stupid but when it comes to love, then yeah they are stupid.

I used to have a lab, loved him to death, but god he was something else. Very much danger prone, from their own stupidity or their lack of survival instincts. I know that labs are almost aquatic. They love water, swimming, all that jazz. We can just say that bella has a few screws loose in her dna and is just "not like other labs."

Rosalie: Now she was hard. There are quite a few animals that I think would fit for her. I'll list the other ones, but that one I went with is the Swan. Like Edward, seems a little on the nose, but I have my reasoning.

I was going to pick a predator for her, as she is shown to be very vengeful and viscous. I would have pick some type of cat, most likely a purebred, from a rich family. It could still work, but the swan just speaks to me on this one.

Swan's are known for being beautiful, graceful, and are pictured as the symbol of love. They are also very vain. Edward constantly brings up Rosalies vanity. She was constantly valued for her beauty as a human, so of course that crossed over in the transformation. She was raised to be married into wealth, she was used as a bargaining chip to increase the family's standing.

Rose has a very strong character and makes her opinions known. She's assertive and aggressive at times. She's not afraid to get dirty.

Swans mate for life and like geese, are known for being great parents. I was also going to choose geese as an option for the maternal instincts. I was wary at first because swans can be really aggressive. Like actually, you think geece are bad? Yikes bestie...

I was conflicted because swans are known for drowning dogs and sometimes people. However, I can actually see Rose drowning Bella. It's not that unbelievable lmao.

Emmett: Now this one is just ironic. I only associate him with bears. Its inevitable, but picking a Grizzly or Black bear is too obvious. So I went a slightly different route...

So I was going to pick the Sun bear just because of looks alone. Like, I'm not exaggerating, it looks like someone wearing a bear costume. I don't think it fits him but I know for a fact that he would dress up as a sun bear and sneak into a zoo to see if anyone would notice. I'll put a pic of it here

Like look at this thing. I have no words...

Anyway, what I picked was a Sloth Bear. Now Sloth bears are mostly nocturnal, which either way works consider vamps don't sleep. Their diet is also odd but honestly so is the cullens. They're native to the Indian subcontinent, and are known for being aggressive towards humans. Its said that for the most part they're pretty calm, so I think its just fear of humans that make them act aggressively. Honestly, that's a good thing because they are listed as vulnerable on the IUCN Red list.

They have some similarities with sloths, which is where they get the name. They have long claws and unusual teeth. They are known to hang upside down from tree branches, and is described as having a messy appearance. Honestly, Emmitt has a messy personality. Sorry bestie but you're a lot of work.

Now heres the biggest reason for choosing this bear. Aside from Baloo from the jungle book being a sloth bear, they are known to run fades with Tigers. Honestly, how fucking badass is that!? Now I don't think there are recorded instances of a Sloth bear killing a Tiger, but when push comes to shove, they can hold their own and I find that incredibly impressive.

Carlisle: This one was somehow the easiest as well as the toughest. I know Owl seems like the obvious choice, and I can see it. However, I believe Carlisle values emotional intelligence as much or if not more than academic intelligence. He is so charismatic and values other's above himself. He might not be as Saint like as Edward thinks, but he does try and I think he genuinely cares about others. For that reason alone, I choose a Elephant.

Elephant's are very social animals and are extremely intelligent. I could rave about them for ages, I love them so much.

Now elephants live in a familial unit and are usually matriarchal. Bulls usually are on the outer edges of the herd or form little groups with other males. Honestly, they're not that bad aside from when their in musk.

In the group of males, the elder ones will teach the younger where to get the best food, water, how to use things as tools, and every other thing that will increase their odds of survival. This is really cute to me tbh, they do this because the females usually choose the older males because they've proved that they are intelligent and strong, that they have survived and will continue to for awhile. Teaching the younger males these things are to make the odds of them getting chosen to mate more likely. The whole unit just reminds me of a father that has to deal with rowdy teens.

Carlisle likes to take in strays, he might not have a herd but he will make one and teach them to thrive. That's how he envisions it anyway. He just has a found family and is trying his best.

Esme: Now this might seem like an insult, but I promise it's not! This is in no way misogynistic. I love cattle and ever since I took animal science in highschool, I have appreciated these grass puppies like they deserve. Call me Castro because I love cows.

Yup! I chose a Cow for her. Specifically a beef cow. That might sound weird but its because beef cows have higher maternal instinct than dairy cows. I'm thinking Scottish Highland based on vibes alone.

They are nicknamed the Gentle Giants of Scotland. Super maternal and sweet and ugh look how cute they are!

Esme came from a abusive marriage and had just lost her child, she was depressed and desperate. Her changing was, in a way, salvation. She just fits in. She adopts all these strays along with him and will protect them to the death. She might be gentle by nature, but don't fuck with her family. She lost her first one and she isn't going to lose this one.

Alice: She's an odd one. There are so many possibilities and maybe I'm biased, but I feel like she would be a Crow.

Ok listen, I'm definitely biased but it just feels right. Crows get a bad rap, they are so cool! They are so intelligent and have the ability to actually sit and think about the past, prest, and future. I forget what its called, but this was only seem in humans! Maybe other apes, I can't remember exactly, but either way its awesome. They do live in groups, or murders, and remember people and faces. They remember locations and are able to pass down information through generations. They essentially have their own language! They are able to use tools too!

Alice's story is really sad. When we first meets her, it revolves around the death of her mother and her institutionalized. She was essentially tortured and forgot everything from her past. All she had was the future and even that wasn't constant. Crows a often viewed as omens, they are associated with death. I personally believe that instead of being the cause, they just know something is going to happen. They are very inquisitive and can be creative.

If you befriend a murder of crows, sometimes, depends or the group, they will bring gifts. Its can range from food to shiny metals and colorful plastic. Hell, I think I've seen a post of one stealing things from people just to gift it to their human.

Alice's love language is gifts. Even if they are focused around fashion, she still goes out of her way to get something that will look good and at least be a little comfortable. By that I mean she tends to forget peoples comfort zones, but she means well.

Jasper: Honestly not to sure what to put for him. I know a predator would be more fitting, but for some reason I can see a donkey working. I know, seems like I'm clowning on the confederate. Fair, but I'm serious about the donkey thing. Honestly, it would be perfect if it wasn't a herbivore. Porcupine would also work.

Being a predator would make more sense. Given his backstory and his characterization, it wouldn't make sense for him to be a prey animal. Usually I wouldn't count this, but given his gore filled past and trouble with the diet, it seemed fitting.

I see him as a Big Cat. Honestly, vamps in general just give cat vibes. Jasper though especially have some cat like qualities, which originates from hunting and being a soldier.

I specifically see him as a Mountain Lion. Aside from him being blonde, he just has the predatory stealth to him. In midnight sun, we see him use his gift to make the nomads overlook him. He's honestly really powerful.

Mountain lions are known for being stealthy with an air of grace and power to them. They are stong animals. And I mean strong. They can jump 40-45 feet.

They're very elusive and quite. They stalk their prey and tend to attack from behind but don't think they won't hold their ground if need be.

Jasper was changed during the Civil War and forced to fight in the Newborn wars. He was a soldier as a human and as a vampire. He's able to feel and manipulate others emotions. He's covered in scars and is very intimidating.

He still struggles with the diet and honestly I hate how the others handle it. Like they have no room to talk. I don't want to defend the confederate but it just pisses me off. He has to deal with his hunger on top of everyone else's. Like damn, besties always on edge! Everyone doubts him which I don't think helps any.

Also, Mountain lions and Cheetahs can purr!

@aquanova99 I'll do a Volturi one too. That one will be fun lmao

[frzngrapes]

whoever the fuck these are, pt.1:

Keycie

Recently, I have invented these... I would say OCs, but they're not part of any story. I think it would be more accurate to call them personas, or avatars idk. (i vent and introspect a lot in this, i low-key wrote this for my therapist, she keeps asking me about my characters and imaginary friends)

Physical appearance: we have the same face (picture a pretty black girl... yea that's me. maybe a bit paler) All of these little characters do. Except Cherry. Cherry doesn't have a face. But Keycie has a bigger afro. Really really long hair, she gets asked if they're real often. And they're purple! she has braces with rainbow elastics, and oversized round glasses. You can picture her with sparkling purple fairy wings, or not.

Fashion style: maximalist and inventive. lots of colours and sparkles. Sparkles and rhinestones are a VERY big part of her fashion. she loves anything frilly, her favourite fashion item is tutu skirts. heavy decora and scene influences.

colors: purple, rainbows, neon colours, anything sparkly, animal patterns

TV show: Monster High, Project Runaway

tunes: Keycie's playlist

gender: none (any pronouns, prefers she/they/it/doll)

age: 15

zodiac: Leo sun, Aries rising, Gemini Mars

art, mediums and techniques : aquarelles, collages, crayons, clothes and furnitures, amateur music

.

Anyways, meet the coolest person ever: Keycie! Keycie the person I thought I was going to be, when I was a child. If a few things went differently, I'm sure I would've became her. What should I explain firsts... maybe her name?

I never identified with my dead name. When I was a kid, I wanted people to call me Keycie. Because pronounced in English, that's what my initials were: KC. Also because it sounded like the name an American cheerleader in a Disney Channel show could have, and I wanted to be a cheerleader (and a Disney Channel character). So that became my alias on literally every online game for young girls (moviestarplanet, amour sucré, shopaholic and the list goes on), and on my 3DS

okay, so Keycie lives in an alternate reality, she obviously doesn't exist here. We communicate by sending each other letters, she's wise, and honestly smarter [when I was a kid, people told me i was smart all the time. i got good grades easily and my mom would tell me i was better than the others, and should be n°1. tbh, 8yo me though she was a genius, and more mature than others (i would literally ask my mom to make me run an iq test, i was persuaded it would turn out higher than average lmao (i never took the test)... but now i feel so dumb, behind, and incapable, how ironic.] than me, so she gives great advice, but she's a bit clueless. She doesn't know much about our reality, I have to explain everything to her, in great details.

Now let's move on to her life! The key part is that Keycie does a lot of things. She does rhythmic gymnastics, and theater. She sews her own clothing and when she doesn't, she customs things from the thrift store. She runs a fashion blog and post her outfits on Instagram, because she doesn't care what her classmates would think about it. She loves learning kpop dances and posts her covers on Instagram, she doesn't do things to be good, she does them to have fun! She knows how to sing and posts her covers on YouTube, because she isn't scared of being made fun of. Actually she makes her own music too. She makes silly little tunes on garage band, and she is in a band. She plays the drums there, but she also knows how to play the bass, the guitar, the piano and how to sing [nothing related to my childhood, i just think it's cool. Oh! but there's an instrument i wanted to know how to play as a child!]. She plays the violin too. I don't actually think it's that possible for a human being to do that many stuff with their lives, but if 10 years old Vi saw me doing absolutely nothing he would be heartbroken. Oh, she loves reading, she spends hours and hours reading, whole afternoons, she reads until 4am. She writes fantasy and dystopian novels. they're not that good but she's getting better and better. Also, she's weirdly knowledgeable on science, she does well in physics, chemistry and biology class, actually she loves them!

Keycie is 15 years old. She doesn't know what she wants to do in the future (profession wise) yet but she has so many options because she loves so many things. She loves going to school, she absolutely loves finally being in highschool! She has top tier grade because as a kid I would've never imagined the effortless As i used to get would lead me to not knowing how to work, how to learn and how to study yk. Growing up, she learnt how to put in the extra work, that separated being naturally good and "avoir des facilités" (being "gifted") from being the best. Her mom and dad are proud of her. because She is finally fixed, time fixed her: she can focus on a task, she doesn't forget to do things, she doesn't procrastinate, she can manage herself properly, be organized, have a clean and clear bedroom. When she has a project she takes it to the finish line. She got into that selective design section in high-school, she did.

she has no actual irl friends and she thinks she's ugly. she never fell in love. She doesn't go a day without asking herself why she is in the world. What does she have to bring? she wants to change the world, or maybe to disappear, because she thinks if she can't leave an impact, there's no point in existing at all. She tends to lack empathy. I don't know how to explain it but she is so very disconnected from others,, she's literally not part of our world, she's in her own and She doesn't care about the real one. the fantasy of a kid that manifested into some reality, She might as well be a fairy or have psychic powers. if you get to talk to her, she will be clueless about what you're saying and probably answer something completely unrelated. She can be... idk, insensitive? when I first started sending her letters, she would reply things like "well, It could be worse". but overtime she learnt how to be a good listener :)

I feel like she used to be me in some way, up until some point, but without knowing I lost her. You know how she's very talkative? these days I'm very quiet. I kind of lost the sparkles. If primary school me saw me last year, she would think (aside from some details): "Yup, that's me makes perfect sense. Not too surprised I turned out like that". I was still partially Keycie. And I guess she would recognise me when i'm with my best friends. But if she saw me any other time (aside from when i'm making art, playing bass, or taking walks in nature), she would be so confused. Because I lost Keycie. do i make sense? before, I used to know who I was, and I miss that. This character, and the letters I write for it are a way for me to honour the person i used to be, and the dreams i had

I know it's normal that I'm not her. It's normal to fail, it's normal to change, it's normal to deviate from the path, to be deceived by the world, to struggle and to grow up. But i don't want to. I guess I have to suck it up, to evolve even if it's to be someone else. And I'm sure as I heal, I will find bits of her back. Keycie isn't perfect, and I can't be a kid forever

I forgot to mention: she has a cat and a well decorated bedroom with many plants and a Monster High dolls collection.

[rosierin]

What the Haikyuu boys would buy you for Christmas; Nekoma & Fukurodani Edition

Characters: Kuroo, Kenma, Lev, Bokuto, Akaashi

Genre: Fluff

Karasuno edition => Here

Aoba Johsai edition => Here

Shiratorizawa & Inarizaki edition => Here

Nekoma:

Kuroo: Ngl. It's probably something kinda lame. And by lame I mean something kinda dorky, but you love him so you love anything he gets by default.

I'm talking some tee-shirt with a pun on it, a pun that's either an inside joke between the two of you, or a pun that reminds him of you.

This nerd is definitely cheshire grinning the entire time you're opening the present and urges that you wear it for the rest of the day.

He also buys you like a kid's chemistry kit which you can do small experiments with. It's a self indulgent present, but when he saw it in the shop and thought of how fun it would be to use one with you he immediately bought it.

If you suck at science or have no clue about chemistry, he loves seeing you trying to figure out what solution goes in what and your different expressions to each chemical reaction. Seeing you enjoy one of his hobbies makes his heart swell.

Will poke fun at you if you mess something up, and this ass refuses to help you even when you're struggling and will only sometimes intervene.

"Nuh-uh. You gotta do it by yourself!"

100% takes pictures of you while you're concentrating cause seeing you dressed in a lab coat and goggles kinda does things to him, too 👀

Kenma: Kenma isn't too big on holidays but that doesn't mean he won't buy you a gift. And it's no surprise when that gift has to do with video games. As he was looking around his favourite game shop, he instantly thinks of you when he sees a cute t-shirt with a small Animal Crossing motif on the pocket.

"I think she'll like that," he murmurs, but asks Kuroo for good measure, and when Kuroo gives him the thumbs up, he buys it, happy with his purchase.

Lev: A beautiful high fashion dress!

"My sister helped me choose it!" He chirps when he hands you the gift.

And tbh you could probably tell, because I'm not 100% sure about Lev's fashion sense. But the dress he got you is elegant and hugs you in all the right places. Plus, Alisa made sure the color he chose complemented your skin tone aswell.

Later that evening, Lev goes all out on his appearance and takes you out for dinner so you have the chance to show your outfits off. And the entire time he's beaming like the sun as he secretly enjoys all the stunned looks you're getting, because ya boi knows you're a good looking couple.

Fukurodani:

Bokuto: Bokuto gets you something he likes, because he wants to share it with you! This year it's his favourite movie from his childhood that he's talked about many times but never actually got the chance to show you. So, once the sun goes down, the snacks and blankets come out and he finally puts it on.

Only once it's playing, you can't actually focus on what's going on because he's talking over the dialogue and commenting on every scene that comes up.

"Oh! Oh! I love this part!" He says for the umpteenth time.

It surprises you just how much of the script he's learnt, quoting almost every line with the biggest grin on his face. He adorably babbles about how much he loves this movie and how happy he is to finally watch it with you, hugging you tightly.

By the end of the movie, you can't even remember the name of the main character or even string together a coherent synopsis of the film because you were more focused on Bo chatting his little heart away <3

Akaashi: Not sure why but I feel like Akaashi would be the type of guy to buy you something super expensive and not even bat en eye. This year marks your first ever Christmas together as a couple, but even so, he wants to spoil you by getting you a pricey wrist charm. It's nothing flashy, since I doubt he'd opt big chunky diamonds or anything like that. Instead, he chooses something dainty and discreet, a bit like him!

He gives it to you on Christmas day and you gawk at the sight of the sparkling accessory.

"Like it?" He asks and you look at him, still a little incredulous.

"H-How much did this cost??" You gush, but Akaashi just shrugs while a little smirk forms on his face.

"Not telling," he says, and although he appears all nonchalant, there's a glint in those blue irises of his that suggests he's satisfied with your reaction. "Merry Christmas, my love."

[punkscowardschampions]

Sick Kids Group Chat

sonmychest: 🤗 tigerbalm: 👋🧡 tigerbalm: it's been so long! 🙀 how are you?? sonmychest: I know! I suck sonmychest: don't want to be the youtuber spending ten minutes apologizing for not being here though sonmychest: I'm doing pretty good right now, how are you? 😚 tigerbalm: it's a bad day, not a bad life...is what I would caption if I was an instagram influencer or something 😸😸 brainpain: 🦸 speaking for me when I haven't streamed in days LOL sonmychest: 🤭🤭 sonmychest: at least we have reasons for being that #extra that aren't the vague notion of NEEDING a break from taking pictures of our ☕ brainpain: I do spend LOTS of time in a dark room but not for 📸 no flash photography PLEASE 😵 inandout: your feed just updated, Lo brainpain: 👮🚓🚨 sonmychest: stalking or hacking? sonmychest: either way I might need those expertise brainpain: I had a 🌈✨🧁 FIGHT ME, Zachary tigerbalm: it is pretty tbh inandout: friend request, but it's not as if I don't have zero hacking or stalking skills sonmychest: wait, what happened to the anonymity rules??? sonmychest: where's @gotspoons and what have you done with her?! inandout: you missed the overthrowing of a tyrant inandout: not really, but the rule book is gone gotspoons: going to pretend I was summoned by mention, not notification gotspoons: say how you really feel, Zach! 😔 inandout: I said not really, rowboat gotspoons: I have 👀 and 👂 everywhere so you better be nice 😏🤭 gotspoons: but no, hi again, @sonmychest! we missed you! gotspoons: it seemed the whole no names no real life details thing was more of a hindrance than a help to the whole goal of this group, so we came to the conclusion by majority, and the higher ups were all okay with it, providing everyone under a certain age got their parents to sign off and we all used the same common sense we use on other areas of the web gotspoons: so feel free to introduce yourself by real name if you would like, but it's not necessary if you would not 😊 gotspoons: reintroduce, I should say tigerbalm: we shared selfies & everyone was 😻😻😻 brainpain: learned what a sex god @tooexhaustedtolivevicariously aka Rich is sonmychest: 😱😱😱 sonmychest: can't believe I've missed so much sonmychest: need to get better at socialization, my mammy is right 😂 brainpain: an unrivalled love story brainpain: not that he's here to back me up on that inandout: Paris and Helen who? Romeo and Juliet who? Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII who? tigerbalm: wait, those are all 💔😿!! brainpain: he's being a brainpain: insert a swear word of your choice sonmychest: *stage whispers* it's not jealousy though, is it? sonmychest: clearly, fill me in on all the nuances whilst I frantically try to find a picture of myself that's even one 😻 brainpain: he's a 👶 you already know brainpain: but Rich will be leaving me for some uni girl 🤓 so he's not wrong about the doomed part sonmychest: face that launched a thousand ships is a really great insta bio though sonmychest: right, so we have Rich, Zach...who else? gotspoons: Rosie here 🤗 brainpain: Lauren tigerbalm: & me, Robyn inandout: the new girl who started the revolution is Zelda inandout: @ihatemyguts sonmychest: no way sonmychest: a fellow nerd, or at least child-of-a-nerd sonmychest: 'cos I'm Kara and I don't totally hate this photo [selfie] tigerbalm: 😻😻 tigerbalm: you look so like I imagined you, except I thought maybe you'd be 👼 tigerbalm: should we all send new pics? brainpain: [does because any excuse] brainpain: they'll be buried tigerbalm: [a selfie that's even shyer than the first one she sent] gotspoons: [the same photo as before] inandout: if I must [some ridiculous selfie] tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: This is a nice welcome back tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and I've only been to physio brainpain: NOT ready for another selfie drop from you, boy brainpain: I'll be on my fainting couch brainpain: also hi tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Perhaps I should save your 🦴s and my pride when poor Kara, hello again btw, has to pretend to swoon too brainpain: 🦸 has great taste brainpain: we all love a shy boy tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: My teachers undoubtedly wish I were shy, make their lives a lot easier tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: [a photo] here we are anyway, I hope you found a soft surface suitable for you, Lauren brainpain: ☁ tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Ah, so you're the 👼 brainpain: LMAO 😈 brainpain: but you're looking angelic sir sonmychest: how are you ALL so cute sonmychest: this keeps happening, omg tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👼 face hides a multitude of 😈 sins apparently inandout: but reading between the lines, who else is making you swoon/stalk/hack inandout: that's my question tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Well spotted, Zachary 🔎 sonmychest: 🙈 ugh, I'm so embarrassing sonmychest: but we can pretend it's all spilling out now because I played it SO cool in the actual conversation, right 😬😅 inandout: that's the official story, everyone'll confirm sonmychest: thanks, I need the backup so I can also pretend I have lots of friends and a normal social life gotspoons: we are your friends, Kara! gotspoons: though are normal is different from most tigerbalm: & you're coming to my birthday party & even though you have to stand on the other side of the room to Zach, it's still social tigerbalm: OH & we were talking about potentially meeting up!! All of us brainpain: keep it 6ft, children inandout: I'll be in the garden with my date, you can have the indoors with yours inandout: collectively, because we're all speed dating here now inandout: proud of you for picking someone outside this circle sonmychest: GAH so much exciting information today!!! sonmychest: 😁 sonmychest: obviously, I figured no one needed the drama of me falling for you, Zach sonmychest: 💀 not cute inandout: there's already a book and film about it, the chance has been thoroughly missed brainpain: Ignore him, Zelda's nothing but thrilled to find someone else in her age bracket brainpain: 👶👶 brainpain: hit us with your 💞 please sonmychest: well, I didn't just re-log into this chat today, I went on all my old forums because well, boredom, we can all relate, right? sonmychest: what I thought would be the least promising one was the sonmychest: not a dating site, I'm not 100 but you know the kind sonmychest: anyway, the CUTEST boy starts talking to me and he's also really funny and nice ??? tigerbalm: OMG! Did you swap selfies there too? sonmychest: not yet sonmychest: because he sounds so 😻😻 sonmychest: and he wants to talk to me again and he might not if we do tigerbalm: you're 😻😻😻 Kara brainpain: what she said brainpain: + if he's as funny, nice, all of that, as you said brainpain: I doubt he's a shallow jerk inandout: are you a good judge of character or not? inandout: what it comes down to sonmychest: oh, thank you guys! sonmychest: I don't know sonmychest: I think I am sonmychest: he didn't immediately come out with weird requests or weird 📸 of his own and that's a massive start on that site, I was honestly there to 🗑 my account but he changed my mind brainpain: I'll PM you the spooky stories my sister sends me about guys, it'll make you feel better brainpain: you'd know if he was one sonmychest: 🤭 do, can compare notes sonmychest: we honestly just talked about totally normal, nerdy things, it wasn't even a little sketch brainpain: ✉️ + 100000000s brainpain: hold up tigerbalm: that sounds 🧡 & so does this boy tigerbalm: awwhhh sonmychest: [sends the description he sent her slow your roll gal lol] sonmychest: assuming he isn't the archetypal internet weirdo from the 90s scare tactics tigerbalm: WOW inandout: tall, dark and handsome inandout: original sonmychest: okay, I know that covers a lot of bases sonmychest: but someone has to be brainpain: continuing to ignore you, Zach sonmychest: I get it though sonmychest: it's not like I even care what he looks like though, so even if the pics aren't exactly that description brainpain: not every man can be my Rich but doesn't make them 👹/🤡/👻/👽/👥 brainpain: trust your gut, it's not that body part that's failing you tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 👹 is a solid representation but the hair needs to be longer tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: at the risk of making myself or Zachary appear like overly protective boys, I think as long as you're as sensible as you surely are with this, then there's no harm in the back and forth tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: so if you were going to meet this person IRL, he could perhaps come to the group meet-up, that would be a good way to do it? brainpain: *🧝🏻 that's what needs to be said about your representation tigerbalm: Great idea, Rich! 😺 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: when the beard comes in I'll look more Gimli than Elrond but I'll take the compliment 👽 babe from outerspace brainpain: who's watching the LoTRs with me? gotspoons: count me out, I'm the worst film buddy ever 😴 ihatemyguts: how many naps could you have in 20hr28mins assuming we're watching everything extended release 'cos duh ihatemyguts: 🥳 go hard or go home 🥳 brainpain: that's you in ihatemyguts: of course ihatemyguts: long since stopped asking for a pause every time I gotta 💩 ihatemyguts: adept at catching up with the plot is a life skill I didn't expect to gain like this but 🙌 gotspoons: 😅 I could do the whole 20hr28mins and that not be a record for how many hours I've slept consecutively brainpain: I'll act it out for you, I can get the 🧝🏼🏹 costume together during the pauses brainpain: dressing up box runneth over sonmychest: 🙋 dibs Arwen sonmychest: my old Katniss cosplay can be repurposed with some bedsheets and a 👸 vibe to it brainpain: that makes Rich your daddy 👀 you, babe sonmychest: 😖😳 nooooooooooo brainpain: I'll be Galadriel if only so I can speak to my man telepathically 💕 brainpain: swerving off book for that love connection ihatemyguts: obviously eye of sauron ihatemyguts: jokes write themselves inandout: hair of a hobbit wig so likewise inandout: and you know, a jew, gonna be the one to handle the 💎 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: How hairy are your feet, a pickup line that doesn't get thrown about enough inandout: not sending you free feet pics inandout: PM for prices though tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Respect the hustle, Zachary tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: but I have clearly pledged myself and my allegiance to an e-girl already 🧝🏼🏹 brainpain: changed my Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim name to Galadriel for you, Richard, you've officially made me basic brainpain: will cite it in the divorce tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as long as I can proudly produce said divorce to every mouthbreather that calls me a freak, I am okay with that tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: devastated, naturally 💔 but okay brainpain: hit me up for multiple re-marriages at your convenience, I like that for us tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: Make a solid livestream 👰💒🤵 gotspoons: I'll get officiated! tigerbalm: imagine if any of us actually did get together cos of this forum gotspoons: You never know, Robyn gotspoons: it would be so adorable 😊 tigerbalm: Kara is giving me hope that online dating doesn't have to be a minefield sonmychest: don't give up yet! sonmychest: you're so lovely, a total catch tigerbalm: there still isn't a blushing 😸 emoji & I NEED it ihatemyguts: a travesty ihatemyguts: who do we need to @ for that brainpain: @fibrofog brainpain: he was a BIG DEAL ihatemyguts: 😏 hoping he comes back and I can 👰💒🤵 him obvs brainpain: 🔺 between me/him/Rich was prime in my life ihatemyguts: glory dayz brainpain: if he doesn't show up to stop our first wedding ihatemyguts: Zach won't even properly date me until we're confirmed #foreveralone at 18 inandout: you don't call this properly dating? inandout: @Kara you've got yourself a hater before your romance has fully taken off ihatemyguts: oi, don't drag me in to your 🧂 behaviour ihatemyguts: I'm very nice, I swear inandout: that's just how I taste inandout: she knows brainpain: if I didn't know my CF facts I'd be calling for a ban brainpain: that sounds filthy sonmychest: first declaring Rich my daddy, now 👅 Zach 😲😲😲 sonmychest: I'm also quite nice but not that kind of nice, I 🤞 tigerbalm: I don't think I wanna know.... inandout: But I'll tell you inandout: when we sweat, we lose too much salt, one of our many flaws inandout: on a hot day, you could lick us and taste it, if we like you enough to let you sonmychest: maybe that can be enough of a selling point? sonmychest: if crush boy talks to me again and it invariably comes up inandout: he might get to see it crystallise on your skin, not 💎 or ✨ but hey sonmychest: such a sexy condition, when you leave out all the mucus inandout: ZZ top is feeling it, she wants to properly date me ihatemyguts: 🧂 is a flavour I can enjoy pretty unrestricted ihatemyguts: let me have some pleasure tigerbalm: do the normies flirt like this too? tigerbalm: Kara you'll have to tell us, when you go further undercover ihatemyguts: don't know how lucky you are to have that pickup line in your back pocket ihatemyguts: just add tequila and a lemon and you've got a good time sonmychest: I'll 100% report back, providing he doesn't go 👻 brainpain: you need a drink when a boy lovingly strokes your hair only to feel the dent in your 💀 sonmychest: but also, to work out if your amazing hair is real or nah brainpain: I have too many split ends to be asked if it's a wig sonmychest: I ✂ my own sonmychest: and not often enough 😅 brainpain: don't reach for the bleach cos Robbie sees you as a blonde, there's my sisterly/old lady advice sonmychest: oh God, with these brows? sonmychest: I can swear I won't do that, along with meet up with internet randos alone brainpain: I'd volunteer to come along but I don't do disappearing into the background brainpain: would wear a trenchcoat for the right 💸💸 gotspoons: Normies definitely TRY to use our disabilities as a way to flirt with us, with varying success gotspoons: the amount of time I spend in bed is nothing to be 😏 about, honestly gotspoons: even if I was also chiming in to confirm blondes do have more fun, when they've had all their vitamins, a perfect amount of sleep, the stars have aligned JUST right... 🤭 tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: as resident ♿ user, they most ask if IT 'works', which is a bizarre level of care for people who aren't concerned about how me getting into their establishment really 'works' tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: and, my dear, you are a terrible third wheel tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: 🔻 suits you better than obscurity 😎 brainpain: but I am a fun time with the TBI having increased the impulsiveness + removing the few inhibitions I did have 😉 brainpain: inappropriate sexual activity is a listed symptom 🤞 boys ihatemyguts: definitely a case of 'okay when I point it out to embolden myself, creepy if you do it' ihatemyguts: think some normies point out their flaws to be endearing but idk, is low-key a disability superpower guys, + 1 for us brainpain: like, what does that mean? Inappropriate for who? Answers on a ✉️ please ihatemyguts: could range from, science, you're being a prude to calling you a master criminal on the low brainpain: so many of my symptoms could describe anyone in their teens or early 20s brainpain: Rich, write a smart boy uni essay on it tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: depending on the bit that gets damaged, could be the same part that isn't yet fully developed in young people tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: checks out 🧠 brainpain: you're SO clever brainpain: you'll be fighting off more than one 🤓 girl tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: I'm not sure about that, on either count tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: though the chair is a useful battering ram when it needs to be brainpain: I'm into it tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: then you can hitch a ride, of course brainpain: reserved™ tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: the parking is unparalleled brainpain: not allowed to drive, you are my transport now, no pressure gotspoons: Me either, who can? gotspoons: need to work out the carpool situation brainpain: my housemate will, she owes me 10000s of favours inandout: + my parents tigerbalm: mine too but they're a lot to inflict upon anyone sonmychest: ^^hard same tigerbalm: maybe we get ourselves there unless someone can't? tigerbalm: & those people speak up sonmychest: That makes sense to me brainpain: ok, is there anyone who needs a lift? ihatemyguts: I'm good tooexhaustedtolivevicariously: likewise gotspoons: I'll make a permanent post where people can register interest in the meet-up, as well as need for a lift gotspoons: so anyone who can offer a lift, can respond there too, sound good guys? 😊 inandout: cool inandout: very un-tyrant like gotspoons: thank you, Zach 😏

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

Tfa character review! (4/12)

Brawn!!;

He essentially only appeared in one episode. (Some of these i did have to wiki, so for minor characters like him, im doing a combination of the show, and the wiki) and from what I've learned about him, hes a short boy, but a STRONG boy.

Verdict:5/10. He strong, and appearently has a temper, so take him home if you want, but this dude looks like he'd start a fight with your cat.

Hot Shot!!;

Okay. Case you guys haven't noticed, when i saw him, i thought he was an absolute CUTIE POP. Theres just something about Rodimus-esque characters that just makes me want to give them the world. Like Jetfire, he posses the ability of fire, which makes him an ACTUAL hotty botty, and gives him a leg up on the competition.

Verdict:8/10 hes just. SO cute. I wanna just invite him over to feed him cookies. Take him home, he'd definitely help around the house. Though i take him as accident prone tbh.

Ironhide!!;

You guys ever see Zootopia? And Judy gets bullied by that fat fox fucker as a kid? Who like, went to therapy and grew the fuck up? Well thats essentially what Ironhide is. Without the character arc. What I'm saying is that hes a southern asshole. AND HIS LAUGH. OKAY IF YOU GUYS CAN, GO TO THE EPISODE "AUTOBOOT CAMP". HE. CANNOT. LAUGH. I SWEAR TO GOD. He cant laugh, he's a dick, and im pretty sure he wanted to fuck Bumblebee and Wasp, but is telling himself hes fems only. Idk thats all i see.

Verdict:i dont HATE him, but dont LOVE him. So...5/10? Take him home if you want, but i picture he talks too much at the table.

Red alert!!;

She. Is so. Damn. PRETTY!! Her voice? Her right to the point attitude on the field?? She spends a lot of time patching up Hot Shot (according to the wiki) that i can kinda ship it?? Case you guys dunno, i loved EVERY fem in this series. But this girl?? Serving absolute LOOKS and i can see why Hot Shot gets himself hurt so damn often.

Verdict:8/10. Take her home. Shes curt, but she is a WORKING bitch, and fuck your parents will respect you AND her.

Longarm!!;

Longarm, aka Shockwave's disguise, aka the reason why im having struggles in my latest fanfic, is a cutie bot who helped Bumblebee frame Wasp. He gathered intel for Megatron, and made his way to the top of autobot intelligence. I REALLY liked his character here! Shockwave is tactile, a bit snarky, vastly intelligent, and this one is honestly such a buddy? Adorable? THICK? I kinda just really liked him and the roll he played in this series. And the twist of him being Shockwave, although spoiled for me, was interesting!

Verdict:8/10. Hes an absolute snake, but fuck he is CUTE. I wanna smoosh his cheeks. Though i have a question. Where the fuck does his mouth come from?

[uncovereliminate]

Splicers

Since I needed to do some research for a project I will be starting soon,  I decided to put everything I found interesting about Splicers in one compact post for me to always find it back.

General Splicers

Thuggish Splicer

Leadhead Splicer

Spider Splicer

Nitro Splicer

Houdini Splicer 

Because of the way this game works,  a lot of the ‘standard’ splicers listed above use either the Splicer-models I am getting into further into this post or the standard model showing on their wiki.

Baby Jane

Came to Rapture to make it big in show business, but ended up having to resort to other means to get by.  Can be heard constantly questioning the reality of the situation happening around her and regretting her loss of beauty.

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK  DIALOGUE

"Get away from my face!" [Screams] "Not on my face!"

"Look at yourself! And you would do it too!"

"Why did you cut me?! Why?!"

"It's my part! Mine!"

"Stop ogling me!"

"You're making me lose my place! STOP IT!"

"Get your FAT. HANDS. AWAY FROM ME!"

"Just say something, goddammit!"

"Honey? Is that you…?"

"I'm sorry… We can do it together!"

"DARLING! I'M HOME EARLY!"

"I don't- I don't wanna- I don't wanna hear this… I- [Whimpering] I don't want to hear this…"

"Pretend you're not interested. They like that."

"He's gone! They always leave…"

"He left, he left, he left, left, left! He left! He left!"

"Came here to be a star! Came here to be a star- Not too late, not too late!"

"Mr. Ryan's gonna notice me, and I'm gonna be a star! It's not too late, not too late!"

"I used to be beautiful. What happened to me?!"

[Laughs] "And even that was a bad performance."

[Crying] "They'll be okay, right?! I mean, it was just- it was just an accident!"

"Tell me you love me! Go on, say it!"

"Someone shou- should do this for me, someone should be doing this for me!"

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK II DIALOGUE

"Ow—! And I— used to love bees!"

"I had real talent!"

"I had innocence- I was innocent!"

"I had innocence! You took my innocence!"

"Parasite! Paparazzi!"

"Stop — STARING!"

"You're a plain little girl! Plain- too plain."

"This wasn't part of the deal!"

"Only geniuses get saved, lunkhead!"

"Your memories? Yeah, we don't need 'em."

"Why would you bring a kid?!"

"Send your daughter home, freak!"

"Just me and the roaches."

"Rejection." [Cries]

"I don't understand." [Cries]

"To have seen what I have seen… see what I see…"

"I worked hard to look this good, and they still appreciate it… some of them…"

"Hello my baby, hello my honey, la da di da da da [Hums] nothing like a good old picture show…"

"Siren Alley [Sigh] well, the rent is cheap and there's work."

"Can we try that scene over? I forgot my line."

The Breadwinner

A wanna-be big-shot who thinks money and fame are everything.  He's convinced himself that Rapture’s downfall was just a small problem in his ultimate goal.

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK  DIALOGUE

"Finally. [coughs] Happy."

"I was right, I tell ya. I was right, god damn it."

"Come on! Just- just let me explain, will ya?"

[Disgusted noise] "I'm too busy for this shit."

"She should not have come here."

"Ah, a man can start a business down here, yeah. Now now, it's- it's not too late. I'll get to it."

"Yeah. Yeah, Ryan's gonna stake me, huh? Yeah! No, he- he'll stake us all. Just give it some time. Yeah, just a little time."

"It's just a bad quarter. Naw, that's all. Yeah, market'll come back, huh? Yeah! Everything'll be fine. Yeah, it'll all be fine… Augh."

"You think that I'm dumb? Sure, sure, why not? You keep on thinkin' that."

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK II DIALOGUE 

"You can’t take this from me!"

"Think you can take what’s mine?!"

"I ain’t gettin’ reborn with you, no way."

He also has very gross misogynistic lines that are uh...  interesting for his character,  but I don’t want to be near them with a ten-foot pole,  so you can check out the wiki-page for those.

"I ain’t lost my touch, just look at me! I’m a king down here, a king! Yeah!"

"You think I’m that dumb?! Sure, sure, why not. You keep thinking that!"

"The business world’s ruthless, kid. Get used to it."

Dr. Grossman

A roaming medical professional who’s use of ADAM twisted his germophobia into something horrific.  He can be seen trying to destroy/murder anything he deems unclean/unhealthy.

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK  DIALOGUE

"You're infecting this whole place!"

"You keep away from my patients!"

"You're crawling with disease!"

"Well, he won't get any better that way."

"I'm- I'm covered in his filth! DISGUSTING!"

"I've got patients to see, no time for distractions!"

"The subject… appears to have been ripped apart from the inside… probably a failed teleport."

"I- I try to help, but- sometimes I- I make mistakes… I try to help! But sometimes I- I make mistakes."

"I hate the babies, the most. They come out covered in death."

"I like the prestige, but I don't like the germs. The germs, they-they get under your nails, they crawl around at night."

"It's unsanitary in here, filthy! Come, let me take care of you."

"Haven't slept in weeks."

"Typical behavior for someone with your condition!"

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK II DIALOGUE

"My services, for free? [laughs] Get out!"

"I no longer require your services… nurse."

"Don't dare get your disease on me!"

"I killed [coughs] lost you! Once already."

"I guess it was just the wind… or was it a dream?"

"I gave up on helping people long ago, but I still ease their suffering.

"Might as well call me an undertaker these days… But, it suits me just fine."

"I come away from that damn clinic smelling like death. Everywhere! It smells like death!"

"Wait, my scrubs! All a-tatter?! Wha-what's happened here?"

"The thing about genes, they're just germs, and we're all crawling with them, all of us."

"Eternity will be so clean. So clean! So very, very clean!"

"The days are getting shorter! No no, that's not right!"

Ducky

A bitter lonely old man with a lot of prejudice who works security around Rapture.  Becomes a  devout part of ‘The Family’ during Bioshock II.

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK  DIALOGUE

"He-hey? Hello? I'm here." [Crying]

"Poor sucker… my soul… my soul."

"They'll never find out about this. It's all gone away."

"Stop this… this isn't what ya think it is."

"Those stupid kids… they don't even know."

"Somebody gotta keep order around this place. If not, it'll go to the parasites."

"All these parasites want a piece of this place. And we gotta guard the borders, we gotta keep 'em out."

"They want what we got. And we gotta defend what's ours!"

"The parasites, the papists, the race mixers- I got my eye on all of them!"

"I'm just lonely! I— I'm lonely!"

"Down on the ground! DOWN ON THE GROUND!"

"You can run, but we'll find you! We run this place from tips to toes!"

"Oh… gimme my hat, Emma. Sweet mother of mercy!"

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK II DIALOGUE 

"Fuck it! God dammit! I hate bees!"

"Not the blood of the Son... my blood!"

"You wear the mark of the beast!"

"¡Qué estúpido!"

"¡Por favor! Help me!"

"¡Aye, Madonna mia! I'm bleeding!"

The rest is all religious rambling,  and tbh  ??  I have no time for it.   Ducky really annoys me.

Lady Smith

One of the upper-class matrons of Rapture and pretty much a WASP stereotype.  (I really don’t like her.)

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK  DIALOGUE

"Darling, is that you?"

"Hello? Oh, get the door, Sydney!"

"Nothing there, but we should bring in the hounds from the stables, just the same."

"Audrey, Michelle, Peter, Thomas, William, Joseph… no wait, n-not Peter."

"My dear elite, no, distinguished friends. I've finally found the answer we've all been looking for!"

"Too introverted for anyone to notice."

"Charles! I think the negro cook's been stealing. It's always like that with the coloreds. Take, take, take."

"They always arrive with out-stretched hands. They're a tuneful people, I'll grant you, but so lazy."

"It's not like those people in Apollo Square. Animals, every one of them!"

"They talk talk talk, but in the end they've got nothing to offer society. Just more mouths to feed."

"Look at him, just lying there! Another parasite!"

"Run away! You people will never amount to anything!"

"You know what they do to vagrants in Rapture? They hang them!"

"You think you can just take what you want? This isn't the jungle!"

"There's proper folk, here. You don't fit in."

"It's always the same with you parasites, looking for a hand out."

"Yes, Dr. Steinman. Uh, no Dr. Steinman… sorry, Dr. Steinman."

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK II DIALOGUE

"Audrey, Michelle, Peter, Thomas, William, Joseph… Oh, no! No no no! Wait, not Peter!"

"I'm writing down your name, you filth!"

"The times may be unkind, but did you have to take our home? I raised my children there! Bastards!"

"I'm surrounded by them, and yet they can tell… I'm their better! They know it… I know it!"

"Three children. Yes, three little angels, all gone now. I wonder if they miss their mommy?"

"I'll not associate with your kind."

"This is an outrage! AN OUTRAGE!"

"Lester, where is my doll…?"

Toasty

I hope you guys will forgive me and also understand that I will honor the memory of Henry R. Lumley as he actually was and not as the horrible person the Bioshock devs painted him as.

I am still really disgusted by the fact that they would use his face as the model for Toasty  (a literal murderer/rapist!)  and never even asked his surviving family members if they could do such.  

So I will skip this one,  hope you don’t mind.

Pigskin

A young American football player pressured to Splice to become a better athlete.  Unlike most Splicers,  they seem to have partial awareness of what is happening to them.

(Honestly  ??  they’re my personal favorites.)

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK  DIALOGUE

"Uh, baby…? I'm- I'm… I'm all calmed down, now… Okay? So-… Just open?! Would ja- shit!"

"Hey, come on- come on… Joey's gone, alright? You- you could come out, now."

"Not today, Dad, alright? I mean god damn!"

"Eh, Mom…? Mom…? I- it's er-"

"It's alright, Dad. It's alright, Dad."

"It's cold… Stay- stay focused, stay whatever, stay in the game. Stay."

[Chuckle] "Oh, shit. Hey, Dad, check this out!"

"I… I know you… No, I- I know you. I- I- I know I know you. You're- you're- you're that guy with the writing."

"It- it's different, this time, ya know? Really, it is. It- it certainly is."

"I'm good enough…! Why don't you believe it?"

"I'm tryin', Mr. Ryan. Please don't judge me! Please!"

"Look at me, Mr. Ryan. I- I've got nothin' left to give."

"Mom…? Dad…? Can you come get me?"

"It hurts… It- it- it hurts just to breathe."

"He's an intruder… and- and they make us kill intruders."

"I just wanna go to sleep… Just wanna go to sleep, I just wanna go to sleep."

"They make me hate everything I see! They make me hate everything I see! They make me hate everything I see! They make me hate everything I see!"

"I do what I'm told! I just do what I'm told! I always just do what I'm told!"

"Where are you?! They'll kill me if I don't find you!"

"Better come out! It- it'll go easier for both of us!"

"Please, come on out! It'll be so much worse if you hide!"

"Do you have any idea what they'll do if I don't find you?!"

"Yeah, am I entertaining you? Great! Is this fun to watch?!"

"Mom. Mom? Look what I've done. Mom?"

"I did it, okay? He's dead! Now just leave me alone!"

"Why did you make me do it? Why?"

"There! He's dead! Now just shut up!"

"It's over, okay? It's over! Now just get out of my head!"

"It hurts! It hurts! Jesus, it hurts!"

Plastered Splicer

Splicers that fell victim to being turned into Cohen’s art-work.  There are no specifics on how this exactly happened or how they function and are even still alive,  but they are and they’re scary as feck.

Rosebud

A female worker frantically looking for her lost child  (who has most likely been turned into a Little Sister).  She is known as ‘ruthless and deceptive’,  being one of the few Splicer-types that can actually set traps.

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK  DIALOGUE

"Behind every door, an opportunity is so dangerous. "

"A floor, one two three four six seven… twelve thirteen thirty-four twenty-seven."

"She's still breathing… Oh, of course she is, she's just a child…"

"Shh… Oh, no… Of course you're not dying, my little one. You're just a baby… Babies don't die."

"No… they won't take you… you're just a- a little child."

"But she's my little girl… She has my eyes, can't you see?"

"Ah, don't hurt her! No, please! Take me, instead!"

"Oh, please… please… you don't want my girl. She's no use to you… can't you take… the neighbor's girl, instead?"

"Take me! Take my body! Take anything! Just don't hurt- take my little one!"

"Wake up, sleepy. [Chuckle] They're gone… Please? Please…? Please?!"

"I have time monster. I have all the time in the ocean."

"Kislány! Are you there, little child?"

"Sweetness? Mama's here to hold you."

"Sweetheart…? Where are you…? Come out, please… Mama just wants to hold you."

"Why would you take my little one?!"

Waders

The model for the secretly religious zealot from Bioshock  (pretty much the same function as Ducky from Bioshock II)  he believes he is avenging angel serving an angry God by punishing the sinful denizens of Rapture.

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK  DIALOGUE

"You'll open up if you know what's good for you!"

"Open up! ¡Ay! Qué mierda."

"I traded You, oh Lord, for Mammon, and what did it get me, huh?!"

"I'm sorry, Father! I'll do what You say, I-I'll do what You say!"

"Even miles under water, He still sees everything, sees everything, sees everything, sees everything, sees everything!"

[Singing] "Jesus loves me, this I know; for the Bible tells me so. Little ones to Him belong; they are weak, but He is strong!"

And other religious stuff.

Brute

A result of Splicing with a concoction of  Sports Boost and Armored Shell Gene Tonics.  Brutes are very aggressively masculine and homophobic,  which is revealed to be internalized homophobia once you Hypnotize him and he flirts with Delta.  (I could not make this shit up.)

FAVORITE BIOSHOCK II DIALOGUE

"A million little pricks- fuck, fuck! Leave me be!"

"Fucking sodomites everywhere."

"I know what you're thinkin'."

"Not my bloody type, luv."

"Oh, you're pissin' yourself now, eh?"

"You're mine now, lil' girl."

"I'm top man down here!"

"We're just mates, you titface!"

"Clip your wings, ya fairy!"

[Chuckles] "Oh, he wants a tussle."

"She's gonna watch me do ya, son!"

"Who's the daddy NOW, son!?"

"Suit don't make you a man."

"I feel… nothin'…"

"Peace, quiet, solitude. Proper solitude."

"These fuck's gotta bring more in, or I'll hafta…" [Chuckles] "I'll hafta start teaching 'em. Ooh…"

"We can start over down here, once we drown out all the buggers and the queens. It'll be real men only."

"Some thoughts are just wrong. Nasty thoughts. Gotta stomp them thoughts right out!"

"Doctor Lamb says to embrace the man in the mirror. How bloody queer is that?"

"Sander Cohen. There was a man! Sharp suit, good mustache, took no guff!"

"Lass wanted me to try wrestlin' before the city started pissin' itself, but I don't go in for all that touchin' and sweatin'. I'm a boxin' man."

(Just to point out,  this is him after being hypnotized)

"I love you, ya lil' shite. I do."

"Jus' tell me who to kill, guv."

"Feel so—what you call it—comfortable witcha."

"Nice to have a proper mate at last."

"Partners, yeah? I like the sound of that."

"I like a man what keeps his mystery."

"Mates, right? Mates. Yeah."

"Do anything for ya. I mean that."

"Right, guv, let's get into some nasty."

"I'd look a poof in that suit, but you carry it."

"Shite! Gah! You fucked me 'ead!"

"Lyin' lil' mince! I trusted ya!"

The Mother

A very overprotective mom who sees herself as very nurturing and self-sacrificing,  but is fairly possessive and restrictive in actuality. 

FAVORITE BURIAL AT SEA DIALOGUE

"Nothing could happened to my boy, I made him wear his best scarf today… he's bundled up tight!"

"I would never leave him with the sitter, they're all perverts."

"Wake up son. You worry me when you sleep so deeply."

"Gonorrhea, that's what you'll get. And there's no cure but the madhouse."

"Franklin, get Mother's cream out of the armoire. I need you to do your magic."

"Franklin, why don't you come over and rub mother's feet? They're barking."

"Friends? Of course he's got friends, but I always come first."

"There's no relationship like mother and son, it's deeply intimate."

"Don't walk away when I'm talking to you!"

"I'd like to see you run away, you wouldn't last the night!"

"No one'll ever love you as much as me!"

"I only worry so much because I love you!"

"I raised you better than this!"

"What's mothering but a thankless job?"

The Performer

A singer who hasn’t had work in a while,  but never let it dampen his spirit.

FAVORITE BURIAL AT SEA DIALOGUE 

"Yeah, folks always stare when I make the scene… You get used to it!"

"I told Sander Cohen, I'm always ready to cut a record or put on a show! Said he'd call."

"Yeah… Those old numbers sure got some high notes. But I got something new in the works!"

"I been on sabbatical for… goin' on 15 years now… I got some work, but I want to get back to real acting!"

"I warned you to stop following me!"

"Hello? You from the "Stars and Screen" magazine?"

"Don't leave me! Not again!"

The Social Darwinist

A doctor of psychiatry who advocates for the survival of the fittest and evolutionary superiority no matter the cost.  (Hate this sob.)

FAVORITE BURIAL AT SEA DIALOGUE

"That's right… Cry like a baby. Your mother didn't love you… Why should she? What did you ever do to earn it? Nothing."

"You were the worst kind of parasite! Only taking, giving nothing in return! That you were a child means nothing!"

"Do you know what they call men who shy from adversity in war-time? Deserters… They shoot them… And rightly so!"

"Very painful, I assure you… But you will be hardier for it! More highly evolved! Superhuman!"

"No it's not the strongest that survive, but the fittest! Those most capable of change! A good start is thinking for yourself…"

"Did you come to Rapture because it seemed fashionable?! Or did you intend to make something of yourself? If you don't keep ahead of the rest you'll be resigned to follow."

"If you're going to disappear before my diagnosis, why did you come in the first place?!"

The Small Business Owner

Okay,  I take back everything I was about to say about  The Salesman,  this is Sinclair 2.0!  The description literally says  ‘This businessman is willing to do whatever it takes to thrive, even if it's technically illegal.’  JFC,  they could have at least tried.

FAVORITE BURIAL AT SEA DIALOGUE

"So I greased a few palms here an' there, time-to-time… What of it? I've been told this town is friendly to free enterprise!"

"'Fat Cat'? If that's what they call a fella who's prosperous?! Determined?! Uncompromising?! Then, FINE! The shoe fits! You got me."

"Criminal Dealings?! [short laugh] Fallacy! Misdirection! From those afraid to let the market take its natural course."

"You ain't no big shot round here!"

"Push me? I push right back!"

"You'll never amount to nothing!"

[short laugh] "I'm gonna bring you to heel!"

The Beauty Queen / King

A woman who recites her prepared speech for the Rapture Pageant.

FAVORITE BURIAL AT SEA DIALOGUE

"I'm just honored to be in the competition and… gee, I hope you like me… Because I'd like nothing more than to be Miss Rapture 1958…"

"Mother always says it's important to be yourself, so here I am, 100% the genuine article."

"Well, he's gotta be handsome AND smart and self-assured like A​ndrew Ryan… [short laugh] And good with his hands like Dr. Steinman!"

"No need to hide. I'm 'a regular person.' Just like you!"

"Butterflies in your stomach? C'mere. I have just the thing!"

(male variant)

"We're all adults… Nothing we can't work around with a little elbow grease."

"Women don't care for character anymore. It's all money and looks."

"Hello? You from "Star and Screen" magazine?"

Ryan Security Agent

Men and women handpicked by Sullivan to maintain order and keep the city safe from potential threats.  There’s not much else known about this specific character model.

FAVORITE BURIAL AT SEA DIALOGUE

"Atlas' followers have been living on borrowed time if you ask me. Who knows, maybe Ryan got tired of footing the bill for this place."

"Told Ryan he should've given each of these clowns a bullet, not a prison."

"Guy made a city at the bottom of the ocean, and they thought it was a wise idea crossing him."

"We get in, disappear the girl and Atlas' crew, back before happy hour."

"I'm smart enough to know Ryan's smarter than all of us."

"You judge a man by his enemies? Then Ryan doesn't amount to much."

"Fontaine's followers put up a good fight at the fisheries. I'd expected more from this lot."

"What did you think was gonna happen? You cross Ryan and get off scot-free?"

Misc.

Didn’t really feel like getting into the Crawlers,  Buttons,  Heady,  The Hypochondriac,  The Ex-Boyfriend,  The Schoolteacher,  Frosty Splicers,  Houdini,  Survivors and Jockey Splicers because they either feel uninteresting to me or are super area restricted.