#another random stupid headcanon I'm setting free into the void

[hauntedpearl]

destielification of newgirl is so easy it's also becoming one of my favourite things to do. consider my AU #1432255363 that i came up with after watching the "You're my husband, you're like my wife" scene that's probably never getting written:

dean and cas have been friends for a while, cas is the one in love with Dean..dean is like. Cas is my Best Friend. idk if he's in the closet about himself or just about his feelings or what. but yeah. anyway.

dean is dating someone. Lisa, probably (I'm so sorry girl I'm so sorry they always do you dirty like this). he thinks it's going great (it's not) and he thinks he should totally get married to her (he should not), so he's like I'm gonna do it I'm gonn ask her. but lisa. LISA IS SMART. so she realizes that it's not working and on the day that he's gearing up to propose to her, she breaks up with him.

cas knows about all this. they were supposed to celebrate the week after dean was supposed to propose, but he's broken up with instead so they take time off their respective work places and go on a roadtrip together. because nothing fixes a broken heart like bro-ing it out with your bro amirite lads? anyway.

fast forward to dean getting into a stupid fight at a stupid bar and they get thrown out and cas is taking care of his wounds just like in the "doggies or trucks?" scene and then they have that conversation where dean's all of COURSE i got broken up with I'm STUPID and an IDIOT and i clearly AM THE WORST and it's good that i got DUMPED because clearly NO ONE deserves to be TIED DOWN TO ME and cas is like shut up shut up shut up of COURSE you're not all that you're the most amazing person i know you [lists everything dean does for him] and then he's like "and well if Lisa broke up with you, it's her loss, because you would make a great husband. and i know this because you've been a great husband to me. i mean you're LIKE a husband to me. i mean YOU'RE LIKE MY WIFE. I MEAN NO I AM LIKE YOUR WIFE. WHAT. YOU KNOW WHAT. BEER. BOOZE." and he just runs away. and dean is sitting there having an epiphany like oh OH OH because he HAS been doing all this for CAS, yes, but he has NOT been doing this stuff for his actual girlfriends and he IS kind of like Cas' wifehusband and Oh he IS GOOD AT IT but because IT'S CAS because HE — OH. oh. OH.

anyway they get through the end of the trip and cas is like I'm sorry if I made it weird obviously i didn't mean it like that like you're not even my type what anyway have a good rest of your single life bye

and now dean is like oh shit cas does NOT like me but I'm so obviously in love with him that it's stupid and now my asshole motherfucker of a life sucks SO MUCH WORSE bc clearly i can't date anyone until i get over cas and i don't think i can get over him by leaving him like i usually do because he is EVERYTHING! TO ME!! etc etc

idk how this would resolve itself like I'm sure dean enlists the help of the entire winchester family support brigade and they're all like DUH! i mean LIKE. Oh Nooo this is BRAND NEW information!!!! and they're like no cas likes you and dean's like no he does not.

fun bonus if cas just starts fake-dating one of his friends so dean doesn't feel weird after his pseudo-love confession(or real dating, I'm not picky), but things get out of hand because dean is INSANELY jealous, and he realizes that he's ALWAYS BEEN insanely jealous and possessive but he would just write it all as Bad Vibes™ but now he has to confront his own stupid feelings and then like every good soap opera, this culminates in a Big Dramatic Moment where dean is like "Actually your boyfriend SUCKS and idc i will never like him because he's not supposed to be with you because I LOVE YOU and WE are the wifehusbands who were MEANT TO BE" and cas is like :O :O what. :O :O :O

and then! cas either a) breaks up with the guy he was only dating to prove to dean that he is Not Into Him or b) calls off the fake-dating thing because nuh-doy!

Smooches, kisses, gay sex, etc.,

the end.

LITERALLY. SO EASY.