#anyway i woke her up so there'd be less bother about me going to bed
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Fucking christ
#managed to escape to bed before 11#dad put on some american thing and then went out to help my grandparents' carer with my grandad getting to bed#im pretty sure my stepmum's upped her methodone to cope with being alcohol sober for the first time in at least 20 years#shes falling asleep and slurring her words just the same as she always has#idk we don't talk about it#idk if dad's done the same but he's very proud of not having had a drink for 6 months#anyway i woke her up so there'd be less bother about me going to bed#and she gets me a pillow cs i didn't have one and is like#and is talking about like my dad goes out to help his parents every night (in a tone of voice of isn't it awful)#and how my nan's looking better than she was - which is good obviously#but i can't help thinking of the other week my nan couldn't breathe or really talk and rang my stepmum to help her#because she couldn't breathe and thought she was dying#and my stepmum told her like. all as if it's trouble. oh well i can't stay long ive got things to do.#to an old woman who's lungs are full of fluid. who can't breathe. and thinks she's dying.#anyway.#im going to do my best not to think about any of that#oh also one of the characters in the american thing dad put on is trans and my stepmum was immediately like oh dyou think she's a man?#no. no i do not think she's a man. fuck offfffff#anyway. anyway.#i am. going to turn my brain off from stress by watching death in paradise
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