elkkiel · 7 months ago
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My favourite thing about being a young adult is having Mundane Adult Experiences for the first time. Like for example, a few months ago we bought a new dishwasher and I was genuinely impressed by the performance and some of the practical features. Or sending an invoice to a company's accounting department for my first freelance contract. Is this what small children feel like when they see a movie in the theater or a giraffe at the zoo for the first time? Surely the joy is on par with getting a sick discount on the big bottle of laundry detergent.
Anyways I'm buying a new mattress with my tax return and I'm so fucking hype, I'm gonna pick up some budget-friendly boxed wine tonight to celebrate
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diyunho · 5 years ago
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The Joker x Reader - “ What Death Tastes Like” Part 5
Scarecrow’s daughter might be only 22, yet the terminal lung cancer she was diagnosed with six months ago didn’t discriminate against her age; the young woman didn’t show worrisome symptoms until it was too late. Y/N always had a fascination for the much older King of Gotham and despite the consequences, maybe it’s finally time to do something about it.
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Part 1    Part 2   Part 3     Part 4
The Joker feels his face covered in soft kisses and although generally speaking he loves being pampered, this particular instance awakens his self-defense mechanism.
“What time is it?” J mutters.
“Let me see,” you stretch for your phone. “12:03 am.”
“I should go,” he lifts his head up from the pillow and you pull him back in your arms, yawning.
“Stay for a little bit longer, ok?”
“Why?”
“I wish to hold on to my birthday present for a few more minutes,” Y/N pleads with the man she senses doesn’t want to be there anymore. “Don’t worry, I’m aware it was a casual affair,” your sad smile prompts a completely out of context answer:
“If you noticed I fell asleep, you should have woken me up!” The King of Gotham complains.
“I fell asleep also,” you snuggle to him and since J is suddenly quiet you whisper. “It was amazing.”
He keeps staring which makes you wonder what the hell is going on in his mind right now.
“At least for me,” you underline after you grasp he won’t comment on the subject; you didn’t have a clue he’ll convert the night you spent together into awkwardness for no reason. “Get out of my tent!” you snap at his behavior, irritated. “Get out!” you shove him and The Clown Prince of Crime doesn’t budge.
“Why are you mad?” he finally addresses the annoyed Y/N.
“Because you’re a jerk!”
“Come again?!” The Joker frowns and Scarecrow’s daughter has a clever response; she doesn’t share his genes for nothing.
“I would but I guess you’re not a big fan of us having sex a second time!!!”
“Wow!” J bitterly scoffs. “You sure can twist a guy’s words, huh? If you really must pry into my personal life, I’ll have you know that I’m not used with small talk afterwards, understand?”
While you wonder if he’s bluffing, you can’t help offer the benefit of doubt served with a side of insolence.
“Well, maybe if you would give it a try with someone that actually cares, you’d have stuff to discuss.”
“Miss Crane, what makes you think Mara doesn’t like me?”
The Joker expects a feisty reply to his audacious remark yet he receives a piece of sturdy logic instead:
“If she was crazy in love, she wouldn’t agree and with this on and off relationship you two have.”
J is obviously displeased at your statement thus Y/N has to unleash her creativity in order to push him comprehend what she’s aiming at.
“The problem is you don’t approach anything important, you only shut down everyone. Even Emma believes she’s not yours.”
The King of Gotham was preparing to lash out but your latest sentence totally catches him off guard.
“What do you mean?!”
“You never talk about her mother granted she keeps asking so Emma presumes you probably stole her from an individual you consider your enemy and raised her as revenge.”
“Huh?!” The Joker gets on his elbow, appalled. “She is my daughter!”
“I say that to her when she panics, unfortunately random people do look similar…,” you twirl a strand of his green hair around your fingers. “Steering clear from issues we’re uncomfortable with doesn’t necessarily result in a positive outcome,” Y/N concludes and her partner is not excited at all.
“Are you psychoanalyzing me?!”
“I’m a Crane,” you peck his lips. “It’s in our blood.”
A lot of thoughts rushing behind those blue eyes and you’re confident his patience is running low; add a short fuse to the combo and according to your flawless instinct J will bite soon.
“Take me for example,” you attempt to cram in the main point of your dialogue before it happens. “I don’t care you’re older, I fancy your company nevertheless: you’re super handsome plus emotionally unattractive…”
“I’m what?!” The Joker interrupts.
“Umm… emotionally unattractive?” you hesitantly repeat while watching him jump off the pillows and start to collect his clothes in the semi darkness.
“Serves me right for sleeping with somebody half my age!” he growls at the young woman realizing she upset him with her rant.
“So you’re 46?” you struggle to joke at his affirmation.
“Listen here, Miss Crane!” J dresses in a hurry, angry at your stunt. “If you imagine you figured me out, you didn’t!! Nobody fucks with me!” he violently kicks the mattress and you can’t avoid it:
“I think I just did. Literally.”
The hate in his demeanor makes you regret opening up; your goal was to imply you like him no matter what yet the aftermath is way off what you intended.
“I apologize, OK?” you sigh and reach your hand for his.
“I hope you perish!” he strikes your fingers with such brutality it stings. “You’re dying anyway but hopefully the Cromyxillium kills you faster!” The Joker unzips the tent and leaves a shocked Y/N breathless at his hurtful tirade.
“That’s all you got? Stupid old man…” you whimper and cuddle under the thin blanket with his cushion.
Grief is not the correct term to describe what you experience for the moment: a perfect birthday turned into exactly the opposite in a blink of an eye simply because The Joker proved once more he has no concept on how to handle dynamite; fire suits him better.
***************
Next morning, 10:14am
“Are you hot or cold?” your father inquires since your intravenous therapy commenced 10 minutes ago.
“No,” you gaze at the IV bag and Jonathan lingers by your bed, reminding his offspring about their plan.
“We’ll do 3 hours on, 3 hours off; I’ll monitor your vitals and if you feel strange alert me immediately, deal?”
You nod a yes and his perseverance in aiding you with your terminal cancer evokes a sincere confession:
“Daddy…Thank you for trying to save me…I’m sorry I’m a burden…”
“A burden?!” Scarecrow mumbles.
There are a million facts you should evoke, yet the predominant one keeps hunting you.
“You buried yourself in the lab because of me…and Evelyn left…”
“Evelyn and I broke up for various motives,” your parent grumbles. “Saying I immersed myself into working because of you hints that I was forced into it against my will which is not true. I did everything out of love… I can’t bear the idea of losing you,” he kisses your temple; you wrap your free arm around his neck, squeezing him tight.
“You’re the best dad; I’m lucky you’re my father. If I die… you think mom is waiting for me?...”
Jonathan Crane has the weird sensation he’s choking; his wife died after you were born due to leukemia, now their daughter is fighting for survival: she’s plainly the last fortress separating him from utter madness.
“I couldn’t save your mother, but I’ll be damned if I let you die kid,” he caresses your cheek. “She can wait; I bet she’s not eager to take you with her,” Scarecrow reassures his daughter. “Rest honey.”
“I will…” you consent and Emma barging in the bedroom with her duffle bag switches your attention.
“I’m here, I’m here!” she exclaims. “Traffic was horrible, bad accident on the freeway!”
**************
11 am
“Are you comfortable?” Emma checks with her friend, not entirely certain how to bring up a very delicate topic clouding her usually bubbly disposition.
“Of course,” you smile and she wiggles in her recliner. “Are you?” you wink at her visible restlessness as you attempt to lighten the atmosphere.
“Y/N…,” she taps the fluffy carpet with her feet. “Mmmm… last night after we returned from the river I dropped by to see how you’re doing and… I came to your tent…,” Emma pauses seeing the stupefied expression on your face. “I…I found my father sleeping in there with you…”
You lick your lips and strain to keep your calm even if your heart is pounding out of your chest.
“Did my dad take advantage of you?” she lowers her voice and you can tell she’s torn apart by the horrible notion.
“He didn’t,” you shake your head.
“Dumb girl…” Emma admonishes without any trace of resentment; what else can she articulate in these circumstances regardless?  
“I can’t believe I’m inquiring… Did you use protection?”
“No…It just happened…”
“Oh my God!” the concerned judgement pressures you to continue:
“It didn’t end well so it’s fair to assume we’re not in any danger of me becoming your stepmom,” your tone diminishes and she leans over to scold when The Joker passes by the opened door without bothering to peek inside your bedroom; you didn’t spot him but Emma did.
“I’ll be back!” she hisses and you’re confused at her desire to leave you.
“Hey, where are you going?”
She ignores your question and races after The King of Gotham, catching up with him at the end of the long corridor.
“Dad!” Emma shouts and he turns around.
“Yeah?”
“What are you doing?!” she interrogates the clueless Joker.
“I’m meeting Crane. Is he downstairs?”
“In his lab compounding the next batch of Cromyxillium for Y/N,” she fumes at J’s impertinence. “Didn’t you forget something?”
He seems puzzled and Emma is not tricked by his deceiving performance.
“My best friend is in her quarters, uncertain if she’ll survive the cancer treatment. Are you pretending she doesn’t exist?”
“Meaning?” The Joker sneers.
“I know you slept with her!” the accusation follows instantly. “Don’t deny it! How could you take advantage of her?!”
The Clown Prince of Crime straightens his shoulders, aware he can’t negotiate his innocence out of this complicated riddle.
“I did not take advantage of her! How dare you accuse me of such low move?”
“You didn’t?” Emma closes the gap between them. “You know she has a crush on you and she’s vulnerable; what type of man would prey on that?!”
J is not thrilled with the innuendos and cuts her off:
“She basically begged for some and I obliged out of pity!”
Emma slaps him and The Joker gasps, enraged she had the audacity:
“Do that again and I’ll neglect you’re my daughter!” he growls and the serious threat doesn’t faze her.
“Hurt her more and I’ll forget you’re my father! If you are indeed my father,” she emphasizes while stomping away towards the kitchen.
“I am your father!” J simmers at her impeccable strategy: Emma is retreating to a different corner of the house giving him the opportunity to choose.
Who the heck knows if she’s actually his?
One thing is undeniable though: they share the same despicable temper.
****************
You discern The Joker in the doorway and your body stiffens; you stare at the TV screen wishing he’ll disappear.
“Where’s Crane?” J analyzes Y/N’s IV pole.
You don’t engage so his crankiness emerges.
“I suppose you didn’t flatlined yet!”
“Nope,” you grunt at the provocative declaration that served its goal: you did reply to The Clown’s rubbish.
“Where’s Crane?”
“I heard you the first time and I’m not sure why you focus your energy on a useless interrogation. You know where my father is!”
“Where?” The Joker’s vile attitude can’t compromise for less than instigating his fling.
“Please take your stuff that’s firm now but will get saggy in maximum 20 years and vanish!” the poisonous remark makes him groan.
“What stuff?!”
You check him out glaring at his mid-section before dismissing his presence.
“That’s the rudest fucking criticism ever!” The Joker barks and Y/N crabbily indicates:
“It’s not criticism, it’s reality! Gravity’s a bitch! Mara won’t mind, won’t she? After all, you two share a very special bond: on today, off tomorrow, hookup next week, take a break next month. Such dreamy relationship!”
“Do you have more derogatory references to my private life?!” J grinds his teeth ready to unleash several atrocities your way.
“No, too busy dying…” you show him the needle in your arm. “I don’t feel the pain from the medication burning my veins; I’m used with my sickness, with the ups and downs. What I do feel is the pain of being taken for granted.”
The Joker is not a fan of the insinuated context.  
“You said no strings attached!” he stresses the lack of commitment consented the previous evening.
“You’re the one that came to me; I thought it meant you were accepting to be the center of my universe.”
J ogles the ceiling of Y/N’s bedroom and assembles a couple of harsh disclosures in his brain when her entitled smirk halts the project.
“You’re buying it, aren’t you?” you chuckle at his astonishment. “I’m just messing with you Mister Joker; who in their right mind would make you the center of their universe?! You have 10 seconds to leave, otherwise I’ll scream and security will come!” you shelter your head with the quilt so you don’t have to see his mug anymore.
No outpour of vexation from his part which is cool: means he bailed.
The blanket is slowly pulled until your eyes emerge; J hovers your face, pissed at the unwelcomed clash.
“I’m checking if you kicked the bucket; corpses are usually covered thus my dilemma.”
“Go away!” you advise. “Or I’ll scream!”
You inhale preparing to yell: The Joker didn’t predict you’d defy him and he swiftly kisses you in order to stop the sounds.
The door is cracked and Emma witnesses the scene, reckoning bizarre elements:
Her father holds grudges and was mad at Y/N earlier due to whatever happened yesterday; nevertheless he still kissed her.
On the other hand, you were definitely miserable after your escapade, yet you didn’t reject him.
Emma may not be informed about the entire story, but one detail is crystal clear: the future is far from being simple.
 Also read: MASTERLIST
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