#anyways this is the first thing I've written since August so I'm proud of that

[maybe-theres-hope]

B and F for the fanfic ask game, please? 🥰

Hiiiiiii! Sorry it took so long for me to answer this LOL but I will answer with my current WIP bc I'm attempting to do it for NaNo but we will see if I can remove myself from work for long enough to give it the time of day 😑

I've posted about this WIP before, for context. It’s the omegaverse Lamen arranged marriage fic. 

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience? Not experience, per se, but sort of. This story started out as two separate stories, and I suppose it still is (one, and then a sequel). The sequel hits closer to home for me. Without getting TOO personal, I have wanted to have a child of my own for years. The universe keeps getting in the way though, and I find myself sinking deeper into despair because of it. Because I use fic as a form of escapism sometimes, I wanted to put Laurent through that just to have someone who has it worse than me. So yeah. He’ll have it wayyyy worse. And that’s a way of exploring my melancholy without taking it out on myself, I guess. (also I absolutely love angst, and not always with a happy ending, though this story WILL get one).  The first story is something had playing around in my head, and later I just decided to make them the same universe. 

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. Okay so like. I’m not very often proud of things in that way. But like, I can appreciate things like...”oh, that was a good line, rolls off the mental tongue nicely” and also “this says so much about the character with so little, good on you Brooke” but yeah. Idk. Anyway, here are two separate little bits of dialogue from the WIP I was talking about above that just...particularly strike my fancy. May hate them/edit them out with time LOL. 

Both under a cut because I cannot share “little” snippets 🙃 Tagging @nayona96 @sophiesticated22 and @almanaye because they expressed interest on the WIP post, and here are some snippets that weren’t included in that. If you want me to untag you, just let me know!!

1: This is later in the conversation referenced in the post I linked above. Takes place between Auguste and Laurent outside the negotiation tent at Marlas. Laurent is barely 14. 

“I know. I’m just...afraid for you. Sending you off in the arms of someone so…”

“Large?” Laurent offered. Auguste tried to read his face.

“Do you at least find him attractive? You’ve never glanced twice at any suitor paraded before you. I’m not sure I even know what you’d find attractive in a bondmate.”

“He’s...handsome I suppose. Probably more so when not covered in the blood of our countrymen,” he said with some trepidation. “But yes. I could probably grow to be accepting of him in time.”

“From you, that’s practically a glowing commendation.” Finally, Auguste let himself betray a small smile. “He better be kind to you. And gentle. Or so help me I will begin this war anew.”

“I can handle myself. I’ll simply sleep with a dagger between my thighs.”

Auguste barked out a laugh at that, though he admonished, “That would defeat the purpose of this arrangement in the first place, since you so brazenly promised him heirs.”

“Heirs will come when I am good and ready for them, and not a second earlier.”

“I believe that,” Auguste said finally.

2: Laurent is 16 (almost 17), this is the third time they’ve met. They’re at dinner with the rest of the court. (If you didn’t read the linked post above, they arranged the marriage at Marlas, but Damen refuses to marry Laurent until he is of age, 21. So they are still barely getting to know each other)

“It’s beautiful, you know.” Damen spoke in nearly a whisper, careful not to invoke the easily triggered ire of the Veretian Prince. 

He only partially succeeded, as a gorgeous golden curtain--that had only gotten longer and sleeker in the intervening years since they’d last seen each other--was whipped slightly sideways once again by that little jerk of the chin His Highness always did when he was annoyed. However, his face was more curious than angry. Progress, Damen supposed. 

“Your hair,” he clarified, making a gesture. “I’ve always thought so.” 

Again, this inspired a look halfway between exasperated and expectant, as if His Highness was watching a particularly amusing child get all the shapes in the wrong holes in a wooden puzzle toy. It quickly faded as the Prince arrived at a rebuttal suitable to his mood. 

He scoffed and tossed the golden curtain again. “It’s a child’s hairstyle. And after all that talk about not bedding boys. The thing you noticed about me is the thing that marks me so.” It was the most he’d said to Damen since they’d arrived. Nevermind that it was sneered through clenched teeth with a look so disdainful Damen wanted to blush. 

Damen’s face must have given away his confusion, for he heard an almost derisive laugh, borderline uncouth while speaking with a King. “Do you know so little of Veretian custom?” was the Prince’s next disgusted remark. 

“It seems I am in need of an education. I can think of no other who can swiftly and concisely instruct me on such matters.” Damen kept his face open and their gazes locked. It was worth it to see the little scrunch between the Prince’s eyebrows. 

His Highness looked as if he wasn't going to answer, out of spite or anger Damen was not sure, but alas he heard a disgruntled voice mutter into the space between them. It was muffled through the layer of golden silk that now once again served as a partition between them. 

“Royal sons do not cut their hair until their twenty-first spring. It is a mark of becoming a man to no longer wear braids.” His Highness took a measured sip from his cup of watered wine, clearly hoping the conversation would cease at this point. Damen could tell he made the younger man uncomfortable, no matter how he tried not to show it. 

“You don’t wear braids,” he observed. He’d never seen the Prince with his hair any other way than tied back haphazardly with a leather strip to keep it out of his face while he read, or as it was now, loose and cascading over one shoulder. He thought of the first time he’d seen him in the tent at Marlas. It had reached his elbows at fourteen. Now, at nearly seventeen, it reached his waist. By the time he reached twenty-one and cut it, he’d be in danger of sitting on it by accident. 

This observation received no answer, so Damen went back to his meal, the ever present golden curtain shielding the Prince from his gaze once more. 

[tennesseestellamccartney]

Hey Taylor (@taylorswift )(and everyone else)

It's Nikkie! Today ( August sixth) is ONE YEAR from when I met you! This month also marks FIVE YEARS from when you followed me here on Tumblr. Time needs to stop moving. I'm 20 now; I'm not okay with this.

Anyways.

Last time I wrote you an update was back in May. I'm still really bad with remembering on the sixth. You do something for close to four years, and then try to change it... It's hard lol.

I guess I'll start where I left off and go from there. That guy that I mentioned in the last update? Still complicated. Not as complicated, because there's nothing outwardly romantic about our relationship anymore. But still complicated. I've come to I**e him, and it sucks. I don't want to say it, but it's true. I've talked to a couple other guys since then, but it just doesn't sit well with me.

As for the mutual friend of ours, she blocked me on social media when I decided to take a break for a week or so. With no explanation. I wasn't mad then, and I'm not mad now. It hurt, but I wasn't surprised. At least when I stop being friends with someone, I tell them why. I saw her once while she was walking to work and I was doing door greeter duty. It gave me a full on panic attack. Luckily my managers are super receptive to that kind of thing, and can let me cool down.

Speaking of work, I went back in June. I was offered more hours, so I'm working 25-30 hours per week. This is only temporary, since the store I'm working for closes permanently in September, but I'm taking all the hours I can get. It was really overwhelming at first, but I asked for my days off to be split up and it made it much more managble.

Honestly, my life has mostly been work, sleep, repeat. I have hung out with friends a few times though. On the fourth of July, I hung out with one of my friends before she went into work ( she's a caption teller who works nights), and then Meg drove down from Phoenix to see me! We got Eegees (a Tucson sandwich and slushy place that I love) and did sparklers!

When you announced folklore I was actually with Ashleigh ( the caption teller). We had a wine night and watched parks and rec. (I am sorry to say, not a fan of red wine. We had Moscotto and Apple Cider. That's more my vibe). I had woken up to use the bathroom and noticed that the Glendale Gals group chat was lighting up at 5am. I woke Ashleigh up with "TS8 At Midnight" and I think that's a moment I'll never forget. (Although my favorite album announcement was when you announced rep during my senior year English class and I couldn't function).

"Mad Woman" speaks to my soul honestly. It's probably one one of my favorite songs you've ever written. I also weirdly relate to "August" and "this is me trying". Every song has lines that hit me like a buttersock to the face though, so good job.

Finally, I released music too! I remember when I met you I wasn't sure if and how I was going to release more music. I had told you Puppeteer had 2-3k streams (it had 4800), now it's up to 10k! And the new single, Traitor already has 1k! Traitor is a synthpop track that is produced by Ines Fernandes. I've mentioned before that I met her on stan Twitter... That's the one good thing that came out of that. I actually wrote it the night after my ex broke up with me. Needless to say, I'm proud of it. It got playlisted on a playlist called "Pop Songs Everyday", which is super cool. It however, has also been declined by a ton of publications and playlisters. I also used the "Hot or Not" feature on submithub and it averaged 50/100... Which didn't make me feel too great. I'm expecting to drop an album at the end of this year/early next year, so I'll have plenty of chances for my music to get playlisted.

So that's everything that I wanted to tell you.... I cannot believe it's been a year. I miss you more than words can describe. Thank you for creating the art that you do, and the world you've built for millions across the globe. Words cannot describe how much I admire that and want to emulate it someday.

Sending you so so much love right now,

-Nikkie 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 (17 hearts. You know why).

PS: I cut my hair a month after we met and its already back... Lame.