#as always i'd really prefer people not hateread or interact with me/my fanworks in any way other than in good faith. thank you

[davlucies]

"Davenport, I have a specific question for you. What does Davenport regret most, across the entire arc?"

"I think, and he would never admit-- he's never admitted this to anyone, but during the very end of their century abroad, they were deciding what to do with this incredible power that they had discovered. And there were, you know, two dissenting opinions. Most folks wanted to make these Grand Relics and hide them, and Lucretia wanted to put this shield up over the world.

"Even after everything that happened, I think Davenport regretted not giving Lucretia's suggestion the weight that it deserved and truly considering it, because if he had, he doesn't know if things could have turned out very, very, very differently. So there is no regret even close to that, in his life."

i've always thought how that cycle 92 conversation went down was depressing and kind of... awful in general, especially for lucretia. and it always really stuck out to me that davenport didn't vote and barely voiced his thoughts. plus, the fact that they made the relics and let them stay out in the world with a crew member so opposed to them and even as her predictions came true was horrifying. they were all miserable and going against their own morals and promises to each other. so that davenport would most want to give her opinion more weight and try to change the suffering and pain they all went through (plus the loss of life planetside) is heartbreaking.

under the cut i linked a few old fics of mine relating to this, though not what davenport literally does in imbalance e3. i've written some canon divergence relating to the crew considering aspects of lucretia's plan and averting the relic wars though, so i will probably be posting things along those lines, and other stories relating to cycle 92, soonish :3

supervivere (18+): this is set during the relic wars, focusing on their grief and poor communication. it is not meant to be erotic, but i do not want minors to read it due to sexual content. i wanted to focus on their heartbreak and pain, him pushing his down and her drowning in hers as the crew's misery and the loss of life below weighs on them both

blurb summary: “We’re okay,” she told him, like a promise.

He nodded, and he pressed his face to her skin. He was still and focused. He wasn’t a praying man, but his touch and intensity in the dim light felt sacred.

broken (drabble, wc 100): also set during the wars, a glimpse into davenport's frustration, grief, and the state of their communication. his awareness of her feelings and motivations at this point in canon is very important to me.

blurb summary: That was all them.

guilty (drabble, wc 100): yet another fic exploring their feelings during the relic wars, their grief and poor communication. this is one of my favorite things i've written for taz.

blurb summary: “Why do you have so many journals out?”

empty as a promise (see tags for cws): if you guessed that this might be a story about the relic wars again, you'd be right. there's some stuff in this i cringe about, but it's the strongest articulation i've had of "hey, what they were doing was wrong, and lucretia's intentions were always quakerly at worst." she's also quite upset here, which upsets dav too

blurb summary: “This is all because of the Hunger, you know that.”

She frowns, and she turns back to Faerun below. “We could say that we were pushed to evil. But evil is still evil.”

will it be a bang, or a whimper? (no pairing): this is a short dav character study set during the century. i liked exploring the idea that he's never considered an end or way of defeating the hunger even several decades into their journey, because i think it helps explain how the 92 convo went and his unwillingness to intervene during the relic wars, as well as his potential sense of hurt/betrayal that lucretia didn't bring her plan up with him in the decades she was working on it. his love of his crew and lack of optimism about their situation is compelling to me, to say the least

blurb summary: Their journey will end with their permanent death, the ship’s destruction, the snuffing out of his bond engine. In the meantime, Davenport flies his crew away, year after year, and he doesn’t allow for foolish dreams.

take this waltz, it's been dying for years (18+): this is smut with a cracky premise, as it's set on story and song, after... everything. their dynamic is a little different from usual, because everything is so fresh. and he tops her. anyway, their angst and deep unconditional love for each other is really what matters here. the premise is a stretch, but not wholly implausible with past/century-era davenport/lucretia (which is often my angle lol) this touches on the hopelessness and angst of the century, particularly during cycle 92 after their awful argument about the plans. i have written quite a bit set during 92 and exploring fallout from the argument, but i think this is the closest i've gotten to actually posting fic that touches on that point of canon. it just totally breaks my heart to think about

blurb summary: She looks up at him, only slightly. Even below him, she makes him feel small. Even on her knees and repentant as she’ll ever be, she leaves him powerless. But loving her was never about power. He handed everything to her, and she always took it with caution and grace.

He trusted her.

[davlucies]

fic (100 word drabble, 18+): companion

blurb summary: She touches him carefully, not knowing how is right anymore.

thoughts: honestly, a lot for such a little story. this was a prompt fill for 100words, a drabble comm on dreamwidth. i saw it and thought... yeah, more than anything, what these two offer each other is companionship. i think imbalance gives a compelling glimpse of what their dynamic looks like that far post-canon, and in moments where they try to return to intimacy, it's interesting to imagine dav's thoughts, how he might blame himself just as much as her for the way they've broken apart. and i think the idea of them being mutually lost, hurting, and isolated, but still trying to comfort and soothe each other is really important

i like the idea lucretia has some awareness of davenport's mindset, and a little pain about it. she wants him to process, but she can't be the person who talks about everything with him, after what she did to him. and similarly, there are things she's dealing with (been dealing with) that he can't help resolve. this drabble is a sort of return to the post-canon dynamic i wrote a lot in 2018/19, dav wanting to jump back to what they used to have, trying to pretend everything is okay, but with a little bite/bitterness. and lucretia loving him as much as he loves her, just with some private hesitation about what their love looks like. plus, both of them perpetually falling apart a little about it all...

[davlucies]

fic: like the tidal flood

a story about davenport on the battlefield and in his armor. protecting his crew and himself, and not wanted to be protected (or reminded of all the things he's trying to leave in the past). warning for canon-typical violence, imbalance episode 1 spoilers, jossability-- seriously, i'm assuming the expiration date for this one is tomorrow

blurb summary: Maybe they were putting a show on for Kuo, or maybe it was for each other— for themselves. This battle would be a challenge, but they’d faced greater evils. The fight against the Hunger had been unending, but this was like fighting pirates, like slaying petty monsters: it was fun.

thoughts: you know i have so many... but irl is extremely busy right now. i'm gathering up all my plot bunnies and holding them tight. nervous but very excited for episode two, but i've got a billion art and writing drafts inspired by episode one! i wish i was less busy. i wish i could pursue every idea and do them justice

i think a lot about how perpetually fighting the hunger impacts dav (and others on the crew of course). the impact of hopelessness and violence, especially, and his need for a specific kind of power and control after the betrayal and disablement from lucretia's redactions. i liked the idea of exploring the idea that, at this point in time, davenport wants to leave the century of apocalypses, the pain associated with his trauma, what lucretia did to him, and lucretia herself totally in the past (i also tried to touch on lucretia's trauma, her fear in this situation, and her anxiety about harming him again). here, he's hung up on what he's he faced and felt responsible for, and he's unwilling to deal with head on how badly he's been hurt and how, just like generally, i see him as someone unwilling to allow himself vulnerability or weakness. now he's got his armor, his new crew, his attempts to rekindle old friendships, his freedom to express his emotions and desires, he's trying to enjoy living for living's sake, he's worse than he was during the century in some ways, but in others, so much better... getting better <3

their healing is so important to me, his especially in this one. i like exploring and illustrating why healing is necessary, too. there's some emotional repression, some communication issues, maybe some unprocessed and lingering pain... i think this story could be viewed as a character study, but just a speculative one, not wholly in line with my headcanons/reading of canon, but not an entirely unlikely place for his head to be at. he's not quite trying to get away from everything/everyone, but for him, maybe the best way to function right now is to be the kind of strong he always felt he had to be during the century

this is not a shipping-related fic. i didn't do a past ship angle here, and i presented things as a little more contentious and painful for dav than they appear to be in canon, i think. this was just something i wanted to explore... i just saw this potential reading of him how he's played in imbalance (and with his lovely symbolic armor and complex emotions) and wanted to explore it, even if i never quite touch this characterization again

finally, about the title for this story, which is from "democracy" by leonard cohen... please look at the lyrics if you're unfamiliar with the song, or watch a live performance, he had such reverent delivery... it's beautiful poetry. and i am heavy handed. a little heavy-handedness is nice sometimes.

[davlucies]

fic: autumn rains

a far post-canon (and post-imbalance) domestic davenport/lucretia ficlet, rated t

blurb summary: The morning tasks felt foreign under her fingers. Even with 160 years behind her, she measured out the coffee with a spoon, and she felt like a child operating the stove at such an early hour, slow with the dial, watching each burner light.

thoughts: i enjoyed writing this one, although it went a different direction than i thought it would. fluffy, but a little melancholic. lucretia is in her 80s physically here, and she's aware of it. and dav has come ashore, but a part of her wonders if he's truly happy. i think there's a hopeful note to it too, not just about their present situation but also about healing and dealing with the scope of what the two of them have been though.

it was initially written for a dreamwidth comm prompt, and i loved the language they used about the good and bad that comes with the fall and changing weather. it made me think about the subjectivity of experiences for different characters, and for the same characters across different situations. i also just wanted to write a little story about lucretia making breakfast decades out from s&s and the two of them appreciating and loving each other.

they experience so much sorrow, so many horrific things, so much painful interpersonal conflict, but they still care for each other. they're still friends... sometimes i just need to see them treat each other well, to truly reconcile and begin to heal, even if they feel insecure or unsteady in the relationship or selves sometimes.

for titles, i usually pull a line from a poem or a song lyric i associate with the story. in this case, i was listening a lot to this beautiful song as i drafted, but for once, my tone was fairly light. it would have been a mismatch. i think the story i wrote is about love and hope more than anything.

anyway, maybe it's just me, but some of these lines resonate very much with post-canon davenport and/or lucretia (or at least, their emotional states at certain points in time)

so many ideas i'll explore again and again... just not in this one, not quite.

if you read it, i hope you enjoy.