#at my current rate i'll financially make it through april but it might be a tight squeeze
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Oh haha yeah I'm definitely feeling better <- he is not talking to people
#i'm not doing it on purpose i just. have so much on my mind and i wish i didn't#god what i would give to see everything slow and stop again. for the world to slow down again. i know it won't#it's like. i feel like i should be doing more. looking for more jobs looking more doing more#getting 5 billion little pieces of paper that say i can type fast or i have excellent diction or whatever#it's like. i can't objectively tell how much i'm doing. i can only feel the subjective part of it and i know that part is super skewed#bc like. raised as a trophy child and all that. i feel like. if was doing better or enough then i wouldn't be so uncomfortable#and it doesn't work like that!! no one has money and everything is expensive and i'm not doing anything uniquely wrong but like.#i could be doing more and is it not foolish of me to do more when the opportunity presents itself? or am i running myself into the ground?#i feel. well i'll be honest i don't feel very good. this has been a rough month for me#at my current rate i'll financially make it through april but it might be a tight squeeze#and i dont even WANT to be worried about money like. getting by is fine and not a mark for or against me#but like. i don't know. tossing these thoughts out here to get them out of my head.#shai speaks
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