#at this point people have been given far too much time to dream up theor fave's ideal DA4 appearance

[bogunicorn]

If every NPC and companion that people were desperate to see in DA4, that they feel like "deserve" a follow up and that it won't be worth playing without them, actually DID appear in the new game, there wouldn't be a whole hell of a lot of room for any of the new characters or plots.

Sometimes arcs are just over, especially if that character can die. That's the trade off of being able to decide if they can die or not in the first place! And to be honest, I don't think any game should be writing its major companions or NPCs with an eye on their availability for future installments. Letting them exist in the story where they're most relevant and might end with a ruined or ended life is better than giving EVERYONE plot armor, anyway.

[adore-ahh]

h

i miss you so much. i'va had so many things to say, so much kuwento, but no one to share it with... i don't know if you'll understand this, but there are just somethings i can only say and share with certain people. in this case, you. so many problems, frustrations, little joys, even the most mundane things, i can only share it with you. you might be thinking, maybe one day i'll be able to share it with others, there are so many great people in this world, my world, why you then. well its not that easy. it is so far from easy. right now, i barely have a backbone of my own. it's so hard to keep myself up. sure you might say i have  other "friends", but they fail to [connect with me. like really connect with me. i know they try, but it's hard to when i'm not part of the main life their living. i'm juxt a side quest. something that just comws up when it does. i don't matter as much as other people do in theor lives or i don't hold as much presence. why would i anyway......

in my head, you could say that i still might think you're my best friend. my mind and heax is just so confuswd right now. so broken. i dont know what to think anymore. it's hard to think for myself. especially since no one is really telling me anything, no one can make sense of me becauxe so far other haven't encountered  or dealt with someone like me before. i'm going to be honest, you sre one of the biggest reasons why i'm so "shattered". whether you axknowledge that or don't, i still know you did something really bad. our relationship has grown to become unhealthy. i'm trying so SO hard to fix this. i really am! but all of that work is going to be wasted if you don't want to.  i can't say anything about your take on this. i can't because you never tell me anything anymore. all i really know is that you're hesitant. i don't expect you to go from 1 to 100 right away. ì've said this before, but i feel like you forgot. i want to take it slow. build something new from thw rubble left from what we had. i just feel like it's so irresponsible to just leave me in the dark. you treated me so bad and now you know what happened to me because of that. i don't even know if you feel bad. i need closure, i think we both do. then maybe i'll be able to have a little more peace in my life.

it's so important to me to have someone like you by my side. you actually wanted to be friends with me and you worked for it...  that was totally unheard of to me before because i was never really wanted. you made me feel wanted. and all that jazz.  you wanted to talk to me, you would apprach me, call me, hang out with me. you were the only one who ever did that. you were my realest friend. you understood things no one else did, you understood my humor, gosh you'd even laugh at my jokes. that's really special to me. you gave me a place to rest, a place where i could be myself. no one ever did. now i'm just stating things that was new to me because of you. i don't expect you to do the same.... but it would be nice if someone came around to do that. now since that's practically nonexistent in my life now, i just wallow in my own head. stuck with my own thoughts, frustrations, problems, fears, sadness. i have no outlet to pour it all out. they're all just stacked up waiting to overflow, waiting unti i just explode.  you made me feel really special, there are others that did the same, but what did they do? they all left me. i am not exaggerating at all. they all really did leave, without any notice and without any regard for how i'd feel.

i wanted, and still want, to be there in the same way for you. i guess i'll never know if my efforts actually payed off.... i know we both went through a lot. i still wonder why you didn't give me a second chance. i guess you tried to explain, but i just find ot kind of unfair because you stopped opening up to me. i didn't know what i was doing, you never told me how it affected you. i know it's hard to open up to me now, it's just that back then... you know what, never mind, that part is stupid, just like me.

we made a lot of plans back then. it gave me a lot of hope. now there's so little hope to hold on to. i'm just so stuck in the past and so worried aboyt the future. it has made things so hard for me in the present because i don't know what to make of it. you know, it's nice when i'd hear songs or watch people talking about how they went through a really tough time and got through it. but there's one big problem, they always talk aboht how they luckily have great friends and a good support system. i don't have that anymore. i guess that was why  i got through things in the past, but now i'm always just stuck alone in the dark. i'm just a burden to everyone. i'm always ready to give back and be there for others, but....  there's no one for me to be there for in a way that i need them. i have always took into consideration of how others would feel (though i lnow i sometimes get carried away and forget), i'd do my best to respond on the best way possible. but there has been no one else who would do the same for me. even when i'd they to inspire change, it never works. especially with you... one of the worst and most painful feelings in the world is finding out and knowing that someone has given up on you. someone special thought it was better to just give up on what was built and leave you be, clueless without explanation. Abandonment. something i'm all too familiar with and something i could never get used to. one of my biggest fears (maybe two, i guess) is isolation and exclusion.

now so many things are coming up, like fair, xp, prepprom, and prom. all i can imagine myself doing is just be there all alone or just not going. i spent the last 2 fairs + pyra with you, xp is such a wild card, and prom is just a disaster, i don't know what to do with any of them. i hate being alone and fweling isolated. i already know that's what'z going to happen with all of those events. i mean like you saw me in intrams. i was miserable. i hated it. and prom.... i have no idea who i'm seated with and it is stressing me out so much. i wanted to be seated with people i'm remotely "friends" with or at least really acquainted with. then i relle messages me this "Hi cielo!! Just informing u guys that calista will be staying with you guys for prom!! Thanks so much for your cooperation!!". i czn't take it anymore. i just AAAAAHHAHHHH

the deeper and deeper i fall into this endless pit, the more i lose interest in the things i love and enjoy, i'm slowly losing myself. the more i look at myself in the mirror, the more i wonder if i will really become something, the more i try to figure out how not to be nothing. but at the end i'm always left blank. blank mind, no thoughts. it's a cycle. i'm slowly turning into nothing. it hurts me so much to say this, but the girl you fell in love with 2 years ago seems like more and more of a dream or fantasy. it's hard to imagine that i was that person. i forgot what it was like to be genuinely happy. lost sight of it. i miss it... i don't know if i deserve it. the more and more i believe myself everyday when there's no one to help me pick up my borken pieces slowly shattering.  no one bothers to help me pick up the pieces, not like in the movies and songs.

anyway, i'm ranting now. the point is, whatever happened in the past happened. we have to acknowledge it and accept it. i'm tryuing my best to. i'm trying to communicate with you but i don't even know if i'm getting through you because you are neither acknowledging me nor replying. and that's really important to me. i want to start over. as i said earlier, i want to build our relationship again, slowly. learned from the past and use it in the present. i can't lose you, i just can't.

i hope your trip is going great so far, enjoy it:)