#becaus that's a fast track to an existential crisis

[gay-jesus-probably]

When trying to change your perspective and unlearn harmful behavior, the most important thing to remember is that the human brain does not like being confused. If you act on an irrational impulse or subconscious belief, you’re not going to be able to instantly realize you’re in the wrong; your brain will come up with excuses to rationalize your behavior.

Most people have a loose understanding of the concept of the left brain vs the right brain. But what isn’t commonly known is that the two halves are essentially two completely different entities that just happen to work together - we basically have two brains, which are connected by the corpus callosum, a nerve tract that allows the two halves to communicate. One experimental treatment for epilepsy is to sever the corpus callosum, which permanently separates the two halves of the brain. On the one hand, the split brain patients did stop having seizures. But they also found their limbs began having disagreements with each other - they’d take a Snickers bar off a shelf with their right arm, and their left arm would slap it out of their hand and grab a Twix. And this was a common experience with all split brain patients - the two hemispheres could no longer communicate, so they would make different decisions. It’s worth noting what we perceive as ‘thought’ all comes from the left brain. Both hemispheres are capable of analyzing input and making decisions, but only the left brain can put it into words. When the corpus callosum is intact, there’s no problem; the right brain passes its conclusions over to the left, who translates it into thoughts. But when the right brain can’t communicate what it’s thinking, its response to stimuli seems to come right the fuck out of nowhere, which split brain patients can find confusing and annoying. In the earlier example with the chocolate bars, the split brain patient didn’t suddenly lose control of their left arm; it’s just that their left brain thought “I want a Snickers” and grabbed one, but their right brain wanted a Twix and didn’t like being ignored.

But the brain doesn’t like doing things without a clear reason. Studies have been done with split brain patients where a question or instruction is put on a screen only their left eye can see (as the right brain handles the left side of the body, and vice versa). The right brain is asked to pick up an object, and the left hand picks it up. Since the two halves of the brain can’t communicate, and the right brain is effectively mute, the left brain has no idea why its body suddenly decided to pick up that specific object. Except when the patient is asked why they picked that up, the answer is never actually “I don’t know”. Instead, they’ll say they wanted a better look at it, or they were curious about it. They don’t know they were asked to pick it up, but they’re not technically lying - the left brain saw its body acting without any obvious input, and made up a narrative to justify its actions. 

So bearing that in mind, let’s say there’s a white person working in retail. They’re a progressive person, and actively try to combat racism, but on some level they’ve absorbed the extremely pervasive stereotype that black people are untrustworthy criminals. They don’t agree with that belief, and they’d throw hands if someone claimed it was a fact, but on some level it’s gotten lodged in their subconscious. One day at work while more or less running on autopilot they accuse a black patron of shoplifting, without any evidence. The white employee isn’t thinking “I’m going to be racist” or “That black person must be stealing”. The human brain loves finding patterns, and in this case their subconscious made a connection using bad information, then unfortunately acted on it. Now the employee’s paying attention, and the only explanation for their actions is “I am racially profiling”, but that’s not an explanation they can accept. They don’t believe black people are criminals, and they’re against racial profiling, so it’s unlikely their brain will even consider that as an explanation.

So their brain comes up with a narrative to justify its actions. They wouldn’t just accuse someone of stealing for no reason, so the black patron must have been acting suspicious. Even when the patron proves they weren’t shoplifting, the employee will walk away feeling like they had a reasonable reaction to a suspicious customer... while the black patron is left rightfully pissed off about being accused over literally nothing, and correctly assumes they were racially profiled. The employee won’t realize they were out of line until much later, if they ever do at all.

Which isn’t to say that people can’t help their shitty actions, or that acting on subconscious prejudice isn’t a bad thing. The point is that the human brain likes a clean narrative, and it automatically smooths over plot holes and justifies actions that contradict your perception of yourself. So when you’re trying to be a better person, or trying to unlearn toxic habits, you need to pay attention to your actions and question the real motives behind them. Was that person of color acting suspicious, or is your brain trying to justify acting on a subconscious prejudice? Is your best friend a chronic liar, or is your brain trying to rationalize why you broke down crying over them cancelling your plans to hang out tomorrow? Is the top student in your class an arrogant jerk, or did your brain make up a reason for you to hate them without admitting to being jealous?

The human brain is an unreliable narrator. Remember to read between the lines.