#because she knows it's not true rejection and that hester is just suffering emotionally and physically and taking it out on anyone in range

[eliotquillon]

absolutely kicking myself for not realising this earlier but imo a really big contributing factor towards cassia being so hellbent on trying to stay in the heart at the start of wayward is the fact that, no matter how many friends she had in camden, she definitely knew she originally wasn't wanted there. because it's always mentioned that part of the reason why she was even sent to camden in the first place was because her parents were friends with thorne and lyander, which leads me to believe that there had been an agreement to send cassia to camden shortly after she was born/before their death and obviously by the time she actually gets there...thorne and lyander are dead. and now camden is being run by hester, who would've only been about 19 when cassia was sent over, and who herself is still deeply traumatised from, y'know, most of her family being murdered in front of her when she was a teenager, but even though the last thing she needs is another small child to depend on her she can't tell alana she doesn't want to take cassia in because 1) this is one of the last requests of her very beloved and tragically murdered cousin, and 2) camden desperately needs the political clout from a stronger alliance with the heart at this point. like it is no fucking wonder that cassia and hester barely had any kind of relationship until cassia had been there for 2 years because hester is in this absolutely impossible position and is doing the jobs of like 10 different people by herself as a traumatised barely-adult. and like while that is of course not hester's fault, i think that early rejection explains so much about cassia's constant anxiety and rejection sensitivity in wayward + why she's so certain that going back to camden is still worse than sticking it out in the heart because i think a part of her believes that if she goes back to camden she's going to face that rejection again but this time it'd be coming from people who she knows and loves vs strangers and she believes that at least in the heart her bio family can't possibly reject her like that. even though they Have Done and indeed Will Do again.