#begging for reblogs /dram

[starillusion13]

Did you have fun?

Pairing: Hongjoong × f!reader x Seonghwa

Genre: Mafia, Yandere(slight) , SMUT W.C: 3.1k Warnings: killing someone( not imp. he was disturbing me), blood, blindfold, vibrator, possessiveness, handcuffs, blind play(?), orgasm denial, overstimulation, oral(f rec.) [I dont think anything more needed]

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Request from: @disneylover1998

[Reblogs and Reviews are always appreciated. Thank you for reading and have a nice day ahead. Please always take care of yourself everyone.]

I really don’t know what’s going in here.the person just texted me and helped my imaginations go wild and now am here with this fic💀

MINORS DONT INTERACT UNDER THE CUE! 🔞

*under the cue*

“Leave my hand.”

“Girl, let’s have fun. Why are you fighting against me? Just let it be easy and let’s go.”

You tried to pull your hand again but it’s all in vain when his iron grip on your wrist and also, he be pulling you towards the back exit. You are cursing yourself for the infinite time and as why you came to this club today. If you were at home then you might have been chilling and watching some drams on TV while waiting for your busy boys. But no. You have to be a rebellious and go against their rules and thought to sneak out of the house even when you know how much punishment you are going to get for such act. You love those punishments sometimes but never in a while you thought yourself being getting into such problem where you are currently into. If you were not drunk then atleast you would have tried to fight him, you mean a punch or a kick might be but your brain cant handle how to put the pieces together. Dumb you.

He has almost dragged you to the passage for the exit way and you are currently begging mentally for someone familiar to approach and rescue you from the situation, it really doesn’t matter if they inform to your boys afterwards, the main thing is to get away from this shithead who has got balls to touch you or even dared to drag you along with him. Tears flowing down your heavy mascara and eyeliner decorated eyes, it was supposed to highlight the eyes during the whole night not making a mess and make the tears more prominent in black.

“Haven’t you heard what she said, Leave her hand.”

Wait. Why this voice is familiar? I mean….Oh oh He is here. Don’t tell me if I turn around, I have to face a devil right now. You shut your eyes and take a heavy breath and then you noticed how the man holding your hand has stopped and annoyingly turns around. You are also turned around because of his harsh movements but you are not willing to open your eyes to face the reality. I mean you wanted to be saved but not by KIM HONGJOONG!

“Why does it matter to you mister? Go find another chick for the night. This one is for mine.”

And then that maniac laugh. The well damn laugh which he always shows to his enemies before he welcomes them to Hell of a ride and now this man is going to say Hello to the Living Devils.

“Chick?”

His gaze travels over your body and his jaw clenched on how revealing your dress is and you are wearing it when they are not around with you and moreover this dirty hag is holding your hand. HOLDING HIS GIRL’S HAND. You know this man is dead for sure but maybe you are equally dead.

“Yeah yeah. These girls are really fun to spend night with and who knows maybe keeping them to myself and then I can bring money through her and-“

You can hear the choking sound which makes your eyes flutter open when you can feel someone snatches you away from the grip but now you are under a familiar hold but honestly this hold is tighter and rough. The man is choking on his own blood as someone has slit his throat and then you can see who is holding you. Well, PARK SEONGHWA with fire in his eyes and a bloody sharp pocket knife in his other hand.

“He was talking too much.”

“Well done.”

Hm. Thanks. You wanted to say this but you just gulp on seeing the same raging eyes of hongjoong like the other. They both are furious and you are well aware of the fact that they don’t appreciate when someone else touch you other than them, they don’t appreciate their gang members also. Hongjoong called his men to clean the mess up and do everything possible to make the people shut up who has witnessed the scene. Now what about you!

“So, my dear Y/N. Can we know why are you here?”

“Hwa….I was…I just wanted to have fun.”

“Fun? Did you have that? Without us?”

No Hongjoong. Please stop asking me like this. With a god damn sinister smile resting on his face and eyes daring your trembling figure to speak more. You can confront seonghwa but not him, you don’t know why but he is always the one who can make anyone speak up the truth or make them agree with him even on a lie.

“n-no.”

“Of course you cant have fun without us, sweetheart.”

“I want to go home.”

“So do we.”

Well, a tensed atmosphere inside the whole car ride after Seonghwa literally dragged you outside from the club towards the car. His grip was harsh than that man and a thought came across your mind. Would have been better if that man took you with him? Maybe in the midway he would have become unconscious and you would have been freed. Atleast you wont have to be in the situation s you are currently in. You slapped yourself for this and they glanced at you for your weird behaviour. Not a single one spoke a word to you and you were thankful that you didn’t have to stutter anymore.

You are strong and you can fight for yourself but not when these two men are in their angry mode on. You literally fear them but also deep down like their clenched jaws, raging eyes and heavy breaths when pissed off. You smiled to yourself on this thought but quickly regained your composure. On reaching your house, you quickly got down the car and almost run towards the door. Entering the hall, you can see it empty because during the night, no maids and servants are allowed to the private portions of the mansion unless they are called. You took a turn towards the right for the stairs to quickly run towards the room and lock the door and wait for the next day to face them with a clear head.

“Where do you think you are going?”

My room. The only safe place that seems to protect me from both of you. I don’t want to die right now. Dumb you have to smile at them right now to which they raised their eyebrows.

“I need to take a quick shower as I spilled drink on myself previously.”

Saying this, you excused yourself from their intense gaze and as soon as you are behind the closed doors, you released a deep breath which you didn’t know was holding all these times. Slipping out of your mini body hugging dress, you went into the shower. You can feel the alcohol exhaustion leaving your body a bit and getting relaxed under the cold waters and your lavender shampoo scent. You spent inside the shower longer than usual because you can find yourself drifting into so many thoughts at the moment. Maybe you danced in the club a bit too hard that your body is so much exhausted. Cleaning yourself, you wrapped the towel around you before exiting the bathroom. Oh gosh! Why is it so dark? You are sure you left the lights on before going into the shower. Then maybe power supply cut off or a thief? But the windows are closed and the doors are closed? Thief coming from the door even that in a mafia’s mansion?

How ironic!

Your slow footsteps towards the door come to a halt when you feel arms wrapped around you from behind and you parted your mouth to shout when a palm pressed to your lips to make you shut. Your eyes went wide in horror.

“Do you want to call us baby?”

Damn. What are they doing in your room? Aren’t they supposed to be in their room and busy with their works and all and moreover aren’t they angry with you?

“J-joong?....What are you doing here?”

“Why? Were you planning to go somewhere again?” The voice from your front ask you.

“No no, I thought you were busy or something.”

“Do you want us to be busy so that you can think all the bullshits and then act on your own like always?”

“No.”

Atleast let me wear some clothes before scolding me. The view is becoming clear when seonghwa turns on the neon lights in the room. Now you can see both of them are in their tees and jeans atleast well covered unlike you who is fully exposed just covered with a towel.

You feel warm sloppy kisses all over your shoulders and neck and Hongjoong is smelling you in between and teasingly grazing his teeth over your soft skin. You moan against his hold and then when you noticed some familiar things kept on the bedside table. They are not thinking to do what you are guessing right?

Your view got blocked when seonghwa comes in front of you and holds your face in his hand, looking dangerously yet has a softness in them, just for you. Your toes curls under his touch and your knees feel weak under his gaze and also when the man behind you is kissing all over your exposed skin like a hungry creature. Seonghwa attach his lips to you, you can smell the alcohol as soon his lips pressed to you and your one hand holding Hongjoong’s hand holding the towel over your belly and the other one holding seonghwa’s hand caressing your cheeks. The kiss is more addictive and you are getting drunk more than a drink could make you feel it. Teeth biting down the lips to explore each other more, licking the teeth with tongue, exploring inside the mouth and your mind going in daze.

Retreating himself from you he went to the bed and roll over his tee exposing his abs which are always showcased for you. Hongjoong stops his abuse on your skin and pull you towards the foot of the bed. Your back of the knees hitting the bed and him standing in front of you, hands holding the secured knot of the towel. His other hand moved towards your chest and pushed you backwards. Your back hits the soft matress and then you can see your towel hanging in his raised hands. Alarmingly, your hands come closer to hide your exposed body but that was not to their liking as Seonghwa’s hands pulled your hands apart and you can feel metals clasped to your wrists and attached them to your head board. Handcuffs?

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing. Just you can see this towel was blocking my view and I don’t like when something becomes a restriction in the path of my desires.”

A warm hand caress your cheeks to get your attention and you can see the devilish smile painted on his face.

“You said you didn’t have fun so we should make it up right?”

“Uh oh that…no no…it’s okay…I did have fun…a little?”

 “A little?”

You pressed your feet on the bed to pressure down to lift up your body but Hongjoong pressed your knees down and settle himself between your legs. He also removes his shirt and then rest his palms over your knees. You can feel the tingling sensation in your lower belly but you know you are getting nothing if you behave like a brat right now as they are already pissed off with your earlier deeds. You can feel another set of hands moving across your chest and flicking the already hard nipples in between making your breath heavy and moan out his name.

“Seonghwa….”

“Hm? Do you need something?”

“Yes…I need you…I need both of you.”

“I don’t think so.”

“why? No no. I really need you.”

Seonghwa look towards Hongjoong and they silently communicate in between them and their nod indicates that they agreed on something. On what? Your anticipating eyes following their movements. Seonghwa grabs a cloth and damn that’s a blindfold. Before you can protest to it, he put over your eyes and let you to rely on your other senses from now. A hot breath tingling near your ear and lips gazing hovering it and licking the earlobe.

“Lets begin the fun now.”

You can feel hands lingering over your exposed thigh and your legs are moved more apart to stretch you out, hands gripping your inner knees. You can feel something cold touching your thighs and gliding up to your heat. You squirm under the touch but you are hold still by the strong grip. The cold thing stopped teasingly on your clit and it got pressed down there. A jolt spread across your body when the vibrator starts abusing your clit.

“Hongjoong..Joong”

Nobody answered you.

“Joong….Hwa…seonghwa…Hongjoong…”

“You need to guess who is this baby?”

Who? Isnt Hongjoong between your legs? You can feel someone teasing your entrance with the fingers, parting your folds and spreading your arousal around it. Another hand massaging the breast and pinching the nipples. You can feel shuffling in between your legs and when you tried to close your legs, it got stopped and stretched out more. You are already squirming under their touches. Mouths taking in the tits and covering it with their saliva and sucking it and biting around it and hands teasing your entrance. You can feel someone peppering kisses all over your inside thighs and sucking them in between and other sucking your chest and throat and jaw and licking them with juicy kisses. When you feel someone just licks a long strip of your arousal, your back arcs and then you can feel the knot building in your stomach which can burst down any moment.

“Ahhh!”

“Who is it baby?”

How am I supposed to know? Both of their voices are coming from the same place and you know they are making you to guess them but how are you supposed to guess when your whole body is shaking for it about to release.

“Joong?”

“Are you asking us?”

“no..no…It’s Joong…”

A harsh slap hit your folds which getting you the climax sooner. They can feel your movements and are sure that you are about to cum. The burning sensation indicating that you have answered it wrong.

“Hwa..Its you…”

“Where is the fun here? When its not Joong then its obvious that it will be Hwa unless you are thinking about someone else fucking you.”

“No. No. I’m sorry. Please.”

“Please what?”

“I need to cum. Please please.”

When you were just near to climax, the feelings got ripped away from your whole body as the vibrator stopped and you were forced still against the body so that you cant move anymore.

“No no no why?”

“Why?”

“I was going to-“

“cum? But we don’t want you to cum until you are guessing it right.”

“How am I supposed to guess when you literally fuck me the same way and you both are…rough.”

“Rough?”

“Please.”

They remove your blindfold and you your eyes squint from the releasing of the tight blinding fold and you see Seonghwa smirking down at you from between your legs and Hongjoong standing beside your head with blindfold in his hand which he soon throws it on the floor.

You don’t know what they are doing but you are excited to know their next moves. The vibrator turns on again and you close your eyes in the sensation as your body is reacting fast to get to the climax. Hongjoong leans down to kiss you and damn his kiss is rough and like a beast he is devouring on you, hands abusing your swollen breasts. You feel a slap on your thigh and then you can see the dark expression on the other man because of the lack of attention. Your eyes following how he bends down, his iron grip still on your thighs, leaving behind the marks. His muscles flexing while devouring your heat. The two men eating you out, one above and one down there. If they continue like this, they might suck out your life at this point. You are squirming under their hold. The familiar knot building up again and this time you are desperate for your release, your head thrown backward, body arching, giving more access to Hongjoong to leave his markings. Seonghwa still abusing your clit with his tongue and one added finger hitting your G-spot and you know you will fall apart soon. Whwn you tried to close your eyes, Hongjoong gripped your jaw and harshly made you face him.

“Eyes on him baby.”

Your moans getting lost in Hongjoong’s mouth and you cant think of anything else other than the desperation to release. You are just about to hit the high when again everything stops.

Every lingering touch, abusing, sucking and the damn vibrator was turned off. Tears roll down your eyes and you cry out, whimpering and trying to close your legs in the exhaustion of getting ripped away of the heat.

“whyyyyy?”

“Are you really asking this?” Seonghwa asks you as if he doesn’t know how irritated you are right now. Well he is lowkey liking the fact somehow.

“Okay Seonghwa lets see if she can hold her cum until we say her to let go. If she goes along with us then we can think to let her come. Yeah?”

“I think that’s something fun.”

Seonghwa’s hands start rubbing your heat with the vibrator setting in a low level and you can feel yourself overstimulated and these slow movements are making you more frustrated. You are trying to focus on the movements in your heat and giving deaf ear to everything in your surroundings.

“Eyes on me or I am going to stop here.”

You somewhat managed to make an eye contact with him but its getting too much and tears falling down your cheeks.

“Too much Hwa…please…its too much…”

“Should I stop? I think you had too much fun.”

“NO!” “Hwa. She is saying no, then what about now?”

“Did you have fun?” well this damn question.

“No no no no.”

“Hold it in or you are not going to cum.”

That’s how you know, its going to be a long night until they are satisfied with their punishment but that’s fine. You are again going to sneak out if these are going to be the punishment nights for you disobeying them.

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DONT PISS OFF MY DEVILS! HIHIHIHI HIHIHIHI!

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Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere @anyamaris @yeoobin @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames @dinonuguaegi @oreharuuu @eriny123

[perma taglist! open: dm/reply/send ask to be in it]

[nalledimessi]

Chapter seven: Visit

Hello there friends, welcome to the new followers. Well, after 2 weeks of waiting I bring you here the new chapter of your favorite serie, do you still hate me for the last chapter? Well, maybe if you didn't hate me for the last chapter you would hate me for this.

Please don’t forget to love, comment and reblog, so someone else would be able to read it! Thanks to you this could be possible and as always thanks to @imgoingtofreakoutnow

· Warnings: Sadness, Klaus been Klaus.

· Tag´s list: @valsworldofcreativity @avala-moon @r13mar @drwho-ess @mizelophsun11 @helenasingers

If you haven’t read the previous chapters click below!

< Chapter five: Drams.

“We’ve been over this already.” Klaus shakes his head, bent over the desk of the study. “The point is, in his present state, he would do more harm than any good”

“I spoke with him, Niklaus; Elijah decided that it’s better to let her go” she explains again to him.

“You didn’t see his eyes, Rebekah.” He gives her a sad look. “He was ready to turn off his humanity after the call with [Y/N]” he tries to make her understand.

“But Niklaus...” she begs but is interrupted by him.

“I won’t remove the dagger until our sister Freya is sure that he will be back to being himself. Did I make myself clear, Rebekah?” he shout at her.

“And when that would be Nik?” she questions him, crossing her arms.

“Be of some use and bring her here” he answers, pouring bourbon in a glass as he watches her leave the study.

Rebekah exits the compound in a hurry, anger all over her face, trying to get to her sister Freya as soon as possible, unaware of the brown haired and eyed vampire in front the estate.

He starts walking down the streets, in the opposite direction Rebekah went, and takes out his phone. “Hello sweetheart” he greets you when you answer.

“Do you have any news?” you ask, biting your lower lip.

“I do” he nods, walking around the French quarter. “It seems that Elijah ended up with a dagger in his chest to avoid he would turn his humanity off after your little chat with him. Care to elaborate, love?” he requests.

“He begged me to return home, return to him,” you explain, “but I can’t return. I don’t even know if I could ever return to New Orleans.” You place your hand protectively over your belly, remembering everything that happen before, between and after Hope was born: you couldn’t risk your child’s life, even if that means sacrificing your own happiness. “I need you to give him a message”

A small smirk tugs on his lips. “I’m all ears, sweetheart”

“Glad you decided to join us, dear sister.” Klaus greets Freya, raising his drink to her and Rebekah, both entering the compound. “Did you found something about Elijah’s predicament?” he questions, making himself comfortable in the couch.

“I’ve searched in every grimoire, old and new; I even talked with the oldest witch in New Orleans but I couldn’t find anything useful” she declared to both of her siblings.

Klaus takes his hand to his forehead. “Then what now?” he asks her.

“Wake him up. That’s the only way to truly know if he’s back to being our brother” she proposes.

“Fine” he says between gritted teeth, “you want to wake him up?” He points to Rebekah. “Wake him up but he’s your responsibility” he expresses before heading back to his study, leaving them to awake him.

“The handsome brother just arrived!” Walking inside through the door, the cocky tone makes Klaus appear in the foyer once again, where he’s met with the sight of his younger brother, Kol.

“Look what the wind brought, there’s a dagger and a coffin with your name engraved on them, dear brother” Niklaus says, walking towards him.

“I know you won’t continue with your threats after you know why I’m here” he assures, confident.

“Well then, carry on brother; what’s so amusing that would stop me from daggering you and putting you back into your coffin?”

He grins. “I have a message for Elijah”

Klaus takes a sit on the couch, resting his arms on its backrest. “Well, the noble brother is not available until further notice”

“Speak for yourself, Niklaus” Elijah said, coming downstairs in a brand-new suit.

“Ah! The noble brother has returned!” Klaus states from the couch. “Have you come back to your senses?” he questions him.

“It’s concern that I hear in your voice?” He set his gaze on him while fixing his cuffs. Then he looks to his youngest brother. “Kol” he says, greeting him with a nod.

“Anything I should know?” he asks, extending his arms and looking between them.

“Nothing of your concern, brother” Elijah rushes to answer.

Klaus raises his eyebrows. “If anyone knows about blood thirst, there’s no one better than him”

“Blood thirst? Really, Elijah?” he question surprise.

The noble vampire walks to pour a drink for himself. “Tell me, brother,” he looks away from his drink to fix his eyes on him, “what bring you to New Orleans?”

“I have a message.” Elijah wrinkles his forehead at this. “From [Y/N].” His face expression relaxes just at the mention of her name. “Well, more like a voicemail in your phone...”

“I’m sorry you had to travel all the way here for this, brother, but I decided to let her go” he lets him know, drinking from his glass.

Kol chuckles. “She said you would say that, she really knows you well, brother.” He pauses for a moment. “She isn’t sure if she will ever return to New Orleans, to you, even if you’ll be waiting for her” he adds as Elijah steps closer to him in search of answers.

“Why precisely did she want you to deliver this message, Kol?” he asks, stopping in front of him, doubt in his voice. “Why not Rebekah or Damon, even?”

“I care for her” he tells him. “She had my back and believed in me before I left and I would do the same for her.” Kol heads to the door but turns around before walking out of the compound. “If you think she can’t protect herself, you’re completely wrong, brother. She can definitely kick your bloody ass,” —he turns to look at Klaus— “even yours brother.” Then he disappears in the streets of the French Quarter.

Elijah nods to his siblings. “I’ll be in my room. And I don’t want to be disturb” he warns all three of them before disappearing upstairs.

He sits with his back against the headboard of his bed. He takes a deep breath and rests his head back, retrieving his phone and playing with him for a moment or two before going directly to his voicemail. He hesitates when he sees your name, just for a few seconds, but then he presses play…

“I wish I could tell you this with you on the line but I don’t think I could handle it right now, especially knowing that because of our last call you ended up with a dagger in your chest, lying in that horrible coffin that I hate so much. I wish I could kick Klaus for it,” you take a deep breath, “but I’m also relieved that he did that to keeping you from turning your emotions off. I know it’s probably unbearable for you, Elijah, and I know I’m not in the position to ask you anything but please, promise me that you won’t turn them off. Ever”

He pauses the voice message, trying to control the sadness now constant in his heart since you left, the anger he feels for choosing once again his brother’s happiness over his own and the fear that keeps growing in his chest at the mere thought of not seeing you or even listening to your voice again.

“I’m trying to calm you down with this, but you can be very stubborn sometimes. You shouldn’t be worried about my well-being, I can assure you I’m fine, no threat on my back. I didn’t leave because I didn’t love you; it’s quite the contrary. I love you more now than when I left and maybe you will understand in not-so-far future the reason why I left, but now it’s not the time. Don’t ask me why or how this happened, but I did love the dream you created for us and for our child. I love you Elijah, always and forever; never forget that”

He closes his eyes at your last sentence. How can you know about the dream he created only for him while he was sleeping? Now he’s more determined than never to pursue his happiness, which was with you by his side. Maybe it’s selfish of him, but after centuries of putting his siblings’ priorities first, he had enough. He lays down on his bed, closing his eyes to relive his dream.

He went down the stairs, headed to the living room. “I have a surprise for you”

“Is it related to the fact that you didn’t allow me into our child’s room?” you ask, moving your sight from your book to look at him, tie discarded, the first few buttons of his shirt undone and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

“It is” he grins and extends his hand to you. “Shall we?” With a smile, you leave your book aside and place your hand in his.

“Lead the way.” You go on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “You didn’t have to do this”

“But I want to” he responds while going upstairs. He stops in front of the door. “Please, close your eyes, my love” he requests sweetly.

You do as he says and you can hear the door opening. You feel him taking your hand and guiding you inside the room. “Open your eyes”

The room was painted in a light mint color. Once inside, the first thing you notice it’s a traditional dark wood drawer and changing table placed against the wall, on which are applied some wooden panels in the shape of musical notes. “I may not know how to draw, but do I know how to write music” he smiles. You nod as your eyes are drawn to the crib in the middle of the room. You walk closer to it, moving your hand on its dark headboard, in which is carved the Mikaelson’s crest.

You look back at him, tears in your eyes. “You did this for our baby?”

“Of course, my darling.” He walks to you, hugging your waist with his left arm and placing a kiss on your temple. “I would do anything for you,” he places his right hand over your baby bump, “and for our child”

“Family above all” you quote.

He smiles. “Always and forever” he adds, kissing you.

Chapter eight: Chaos >

[myprincecandy]

[ENG] Yoho!Girl article - “I’m Huang Zitao｜I have the final say on my life!”

link to source http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/PUx79TVKIWaoThl-qVgVVQ

Yesterday was Huang Zitao’s birthday. Today we at Yoho!Girl present everyone with the final version of the concept trailer for Huang Zitao’s 2017 Promise Concert Tour that we’ve mentioned before. Hailangs! Come and understand the mind of talented TaoTao who’s wholly immersed in the world of music!

At the recent Beijing stop of the Promise Concert Tour, Huang Zitao performed 19 songs live, perfectly interpreting the unique charms of C-Pop. Come take a look at style of his concert with Yoho!Girl

At the Beijing stop, he actually sang a Jay Chou’s classic, “Silence”. He even performed live, the concert’s theme song, “Promise” and performed a new dance.

At the concert, Huang Zitao sang songs like Adore, New Day, Cinderella Girl, M.O.M, Reluctantly etc, all 19 original songs in which he did almost all the writing and composing for. Of the songs, “Underground King”, which caused such a storm in the concert in Nanjing last year was completely turned around. Huang Zitao made his “declarations”, and was super-duper cool, leading all the fans to dance along together.

As 2nd May is his 24th birthday, fans specially prepared a heart-warming and funny birthday celebration for him. Not only did he DIY a birthday cake with them, he even played counsellor on the spot, saying that “Today’s birthday cake is like a blank paper, symbolizing life.  C-POP is a dream that I want to fulfil. Even though my drawing may be ugly, but I’ll complete it. Even though there are many trials and hardships on this journey, it’s okie. I’ll complete it with determination.”

Today’s 3rd May, and Yoho!Girl has also prepared a birthday present for Huang Zitao. It is the promotional trailer for his concert tour made jointly by him and us. IT’s like a video recording of his maturing, that will accompany him on his music journey that’s constantly moving ahead.

Y: Do you like socializing?

H: I’ll talk to the person if I like him. It’s simple, I’m just following my feelings. I won’t say things like this or that.

Y: Do you think you are an accomplished youth with the right and proper set of values?

H: I don’t know about that. Others will have to judge.

Y: So can you talk about your outlook on life then?

H: My outlook on life.. there’s too much of it. I feel that everyone should have their own lives, but a lot of people wouldn’t understand my life even if I were to talk about it. So, I’m the one who has the final say on it.

Y: Would you consider your insistence on being yourself as your outlook on life?

H: I think it still depends on the individual. Previously I have always said to just be yourself. But when you think about it carefully, not everyone can be like me and just be themselves. Because everyone has different reasons and are under different circumstances. So a lot of people may wish to do so but he/she can’t do it. But I just feel that if some people were to simply be themselves, they won’t be able to get a lot of things. So perhaps, one may do things that one do not wish to do for the sake of gaining some things.

Y: Do you think you have adjusted to the role of being an artist?

H: I have said it several times. I have never considered or treated myself as an artist. I don’t care about how other artists may feel and view this. But to me, be it being an actor or singer, well, other than the music that I love, those are the other things that I’m willing to do, such as filming.  Of course now I also like filming a lot. But even so, I feel that there’s no need to position myself as an artist. Because this is just a job.

Y: It’s more individualistic when making music, while filming a movie requires more team work and cooperation. Do you feel that way?

H: well, making music is just that, making music. Filming is filming. I keep it very separate and do what’s supposed to be done.

Y: What is the thing you enjoy most about making music?

H: The most enjoyable is listening to music, and then when inspiration strikes, writing the lyrics and singing along.  That sense of achievement, after I’m done with the lyrics and recording. I especially like sharing the music I’ve just made with other people. My new songs are all done and will slowly be revealed. Plus, the music produced this time round is totally different from those done previously.

Y: How different would it be?

H: Be it in terms of the genre/style, or the tunes and lyrics, it’s all going to be pretty different. People may not dare to believe that these are songs written by Huang Zitao.

Y: What standards do you demand of your works?

H: How do I put this? Comfortable, and I prefer new and trendy things. I like to continually break and surpass my limits. I can’t possibly be fixed in one style or genre forever. I like to make even more new and different things for everyone to hear. That’s one thing I demand of myself. Actually, why do I compose and write these songs? It’s because of these things. Firstly, it’s for me, I want these songs to become part of my life and experiences. Secondly, I want more people to hear my thoughts, and then at the same time, open up their mind, so that they can feel that the songs I write actually resonates a lot with them.

Y: What’s your style of creating/composing?

H: Usually if I say I want to write the lyrics for this, then I have to write it out today. I always only make music when I wish to. When I don’t want to, I don’t write any. When that happens, I might not write a single song for half a year. But when it strikes me, I can make 20 songs a day. It’s a matter of inspiration. When you feel inspired on one day, you may be able to compose the tune and write out the lyrics to a song immediately. But actually, occasionally, even if you feel inspired, the tune comes out only when you are done with the lyrics. However, there are also times where you can only get the tune out but there’s some difficulty coming up with the lyrics.

Y: Do you rest in between recordings?

H: Definitely. You definitely have to rest after singing all day. Because I’ve very relaxed. When I’m making music, I really just go with the flow of things. So I’m very relaxed. When I rest, I may rest for an hour before going into recording again. When recording a song, I usually take about 6 hours or so. It depends on the complexity of the songs. For example, it may take longer for a rap. Because there are more lyrics, and the structure and layers to it are different and particularly complex.

Y: Do you feel troubled by the lack of privacy?

H: Privacy is definitely important. But sometimes, I don’t really have much of that. When I’m in Beijing, I stay in the recording studio and then go home, drink wine at home at night. I rarely go out.

Y: As a public figure, your every move and word is magnified, interpreted and even mis-read. Have you ever been worried about that?

H: Many people have said before that I shouldn’t say things in a certain way. You have to say it this way instead, because only then will everyone like you. But actually a lot of times, I feel that that really goes against my conscience. Because it is true that many other people have done things wrongly. If I’m not happy about it, why can’t I say it? I’m still me, I’ll say what I have to say. I’m a straightforward person, I really am. Be it with friends or at work. I’m just very frank. I won’t care who you are, how great or how high a status you may have. It doesn’t concern me. If I like you, I’ll take to you. If I don’t then I simply won’t bother with you. So I don’t treat myself as an artist. Those artists to me are also not artists. They are also just working, and everyone works in different areas. There’s no high or low, or things to look down upon. Everyone’s having a tough time.

Y: The entertainment industry is a social circle. Is it really fine for you to be alone like this?

H: First of all, I’m not a loner. I have my own friends too. But there’s something that I’ve done very well at. I almost never ask anything of anyone. I don’t trouble others. I don’t ask them to reblog my weibo or friends’ circle posts. I also buy a lot of my own branded clothes, and do not ask the brands for it, other than those I’m endorsing. What’s my principle since young? To depend on yourself. Because no one can help you till the end. You only have yourself. Get yourself on firm ground, and depend on your own strengths and charisma. Once you’ve elevated yourself to a certain height, then everything will come. There’s no use begging others, and I don’t like troubling other people.  

Y: But overly individualistic people tend to become arrogant and egoistical. How do you keep yourself clear and level headed?

H: You know why so many artists have such inflated egos these days? It’s because too many people praise them, until they no longer know who they are. Nobody says bad things about them. Nobody dares to so they never know what’s wrong with them and what direction they should be going in. So I think a lot of people do not quite understand the values that an artist should have. Just like me saying that, for an artist, in each and every job, you are nothing without the production team who’s supporting and putting in work behind you. Just like me today, the lighting technician’s been squatting and holding the light the entire time. The cameraman’s been moving around with the camera. Without them, who’s going to be recording things? It’s the same with filming dramas and movies. You don’t become an artist simply by yourself. You only become one with the quiet support and efforts put in by others. So all those things about acting like a big shot etc shouldn’t exist. Just do your job well, leave a good impression on everyone. Be able to live up to yourself, to the staff and director, then I feel it’s ok. Don’t put on airs.

Y: Do you have any career goals?

H: I’m starting to make my own things now. In the future I may producing movies, dramas etc, by myself.

Y: As you get more and more popular, do you start to feel lonely at the top?

H: No. And it doesn’t matter to me whether I’m popular or not. Be it for my movies or music, I only have one goal, and that is to win the recognition of the professional people in the industry!

Y: You seem to have practiced your set of values pretty well so far?

H: Firstly I don't ask to be popular. Secondly, I’m not after money. I’m just doing the things I like, and my own job. I will not go against my own will or that of others, nor will I harm them. I’m climbing up one solid step at a time. I believe that I will have a very good future. And I don’t seek to compare with others. That’s my values. I never compare, I just concentrate on being the best person I can be. I’m just completing my works as best as I can. I want everyone to see my professionalism and respect for this job, and the sort of person I am, if I can achieve all that I’ve said. So long as it’s something that I, Huang Zitao have said, I definitely can do it. My dreams will definitely be fulfilled. That’s the confidence I have in myself, so it doesn’t matter what others like to say.