#but I literally hated my body bc bmi said it was overweight

[yeehawesome]

‼️BMI‼️WAS CREATED‼️IN THE 1800’S‼️FOR WHITE‼️EUROPEAN‼️MEN‼️IT DOES NOT‼️TAKE MUSCLE MASS‼️ETHNICITY‼️RACE‼️GENDER‼️OR AGE‼️INTO ACCOUNT‼️

[sunwhores]

day 1: your stats

hw: 136.6, lw: 114.4, sw: 128

cw: idk but probably like 130. its been a bad week

ugw: 88

day 2: how tall are you, do you like your height?

i'm either 5'0 or 5'1, i think closer to 5'1, and yes and no. i like that i take up less room, but i wear platforms that make me about 5'4 almost all the time bc i hate how EVERYBODY towers over me

day 3: a picture of your thinspiration. what features do you like about this person?

i absolutely hate saying this but i honestly think my biggest thinspo is choi chanhee from the boyz. i'm a big kpop fan, and tbz is my ult ult ult group, and i literally can't watch any of their videos without watching chanhee both out of immense worry and immense jealousy. he's like 112lbs and 5'10. bmi SIXTEEN. 16!! he's just so Tiny and Delicate and i want to be that. look at his jawline. and the way his chest bones are just slightly visible. and his legs are really thin but not like skeleton-y. i want that

day 4: your biggest fears about weight loss?

my biggest fear is definitely that if i ever get out of this restrict for a week, eat normally for a few weeks cycle and fully relapse and it doesn't go away and i actually lose more than 5lbs, i'll get underweight and to whatever weight i rly want to be and it won't be enough. i know myself and i know i'm going to get addicted to it and i won't be able to stop, and that scares me

day 5: why do you really want to lose weight? are you doing it for you?

probably not lmao. i'm doing it mostly bc i hate myself a LOT and i want to give everybody that fucked up my life as a young teen a big ole F U C K YOU (ahah, d. thanks for the ed in the first place. and teaching me cutting is an ok coping mechanism. thanks. 6 years later and here the fuck i am.) i really have always had an issue w my body even tho ive always been just on the upper side of healthy bmi wise, i've never been overweight? i just don't like how my stomach sticks out and how big my thighs are and how fat my jawline is and it eats at me all the time every day so maybe i kind of am doing it for myself but also FUCK YOU D

day 6: do you binge? if so, explain why you think you do.

i used to binge, in the first few years of my ed, like 2015-2018. then i fasted for 3 days once in the summer of 2018 and it was like a magical switch and i havent actually BINGED since then. i have days i eat a normal amount compulsively, like 1500-2500cals, but that's not technically binging and i always stop before i'm painfully full, so no, i wouldn't say that i binge bc i know a lot of people have it way worse

day 7: do your parents know you're trying to lose weight? do they care?

i am 20 years old, currently estranged from my father. don't live with my mom but i'm moving back in with here in a little under a month. i don't know if she even knows i have an issue w my weight. like i said, i've always been relatively small so nobody rly expects it. i think she would care if she knew bc i rly dont need to lose weight health wise

day 8: your workout routine?

10 mins elliptical, 10 mins cycling, and on days i have energy i do weights for 10-20 mins too but it's usually just the 20 of cardio. and i try to go 4-6 days a week

day 9: did ppl ever make comments about your weight in a negative way?

i had some dude once have a joke backfire on him so yeah. dude 1 had said "i could pick them up like that but they'd elbow me in the face" and dude 2 went "i'd need a truck to pick them up." idk how the fuck he thought that wasnt gna be offensive but needless to say it upset me so much that i left that job the next day. same dude once walked into the freezer to me sitting on the floor eating a piece of watermelon. now keep in mind, this was mid july, i work at a pizza hut, the kitchen is about 85 degrees on a good day and that tiny slice of watermelon was the FIRST thing i'd eaten that day. he goes "yknow stress eating isn't a good habit to get into." i, in a grand fit of rage, threw that good ass juicy watermelon right in the trash can. other than that it was mainly my grandma commenting on how much i eat. and a different category of bigger ppl comparing their bodies to mine saying they wish they were as small as me. that has always triggered the fuck out of me.

day 10: what was the hardest thing you gave up during this weight loss?

i'm not in deep enough yet to rly have lost anything massive, but idk. i have a buzzcut so i'm not worried abt my hair. i'm already anemic and probably malnourished so i'm not worried abt my health bc i don't give a fuck. honestly probably the hardest thing is gna be whenever i move and m finds out i'm losing weight bc it's gna affect our relationship. and we have mutual friends in arkansas that will narc me out to him so i'm fucked

day 11: your fav thinspo blog and why

don't have one, just got the courage to start following ppl

day 12: what do you normally eat?

i don't have a consistent diet. whatever i want as long as it's under 1k cals tbh i don't really focus on nutrition as much as i should

day 13: are you losing weight in a healthy or unhealthy way?

as of right now? somewhere in between but getting more unhealthy by the day

day 14: what is your ugw? when do you expect to reach it?

currently my ugw is 88lbs. should reach it by may first.

day 15: are you a vegan or vegetarian? if so, has this helped you lose weight? if not, would you ever consider being vegetarian or vegan?

as i mentioned before, already malnourished and anemic. i was vegetarian for 2 years and i felt like DEATH. i miss it but i'm not doing that again i genuinely felt so bad all the time

day 16: when did you first decide to lose weight?

i've wanted to lose weight since i was 10, discovered proana 3 days after i turned 14 and that's when it got bad

day 17: do you have an eating disorder?

diagnosed? no. but i fucking hope so lmao

day 18: what food is your weakness?

the fucking fried apple pies at work. almost 1k calories for them it's bullshit they're so good

day 19: when is the last time you ate fast food?

less than 12 hrs ago! went to mcdonalds at like midnight bc fuck sleep and i wanted nuggets god damn it

day 20: favourite diet

i don't rly follow diets i just kinda go with the flow

day 21: what are your clothing sizes?

in women's pants, i'm a 5. small shirts always fit me but i like my clothes oversized. for like shorts n stuff i usually get smalls or mediums, it depends

day 22: what was your lowest weight? how and why did you gain?

114.4. i gained bc i got off drugs lmao

day 23: did the media play a role in your wanting to lose weight?

literally at the very impressionable age of 14 my emo ass searched "depression" on instagram and proana shit came up. started Everything. so yeah.

day 24: how do you feel abt the term proana/promia?

they're stupid and anyone who is actually PRO needs to rot in hell, but for just tagging it's fine bc i get that ppl need to vent and we want friends

day 25: have you ever purged? if so, describe your first expierience.

i did once and never again. thats triggering as fuck i'm not explaining it

day 26: what excites you the most about reaching your ugw?

uh. i don't know. the idea of hopefuly not hating myself as much mainly

day 27: how do you deal with being around food?

i don't lmao i just dissociate thru it

day 28: do you want a gap between your legs? why?

yes, they look nice and are aesthetically pleasing

day 29: your definition of beauty?

again, choi fucking chanhee.

day 30: 10 facts about you! and now, what are your stats?

i did this all in one sitting, so stats are the same, and fuck the 10 facts i'll do that next time i get bored

[miyaniacs]

hey! i just wanted to say that you’re a perfect person in your own way and don’t ever think otherwise!!! anyways could you write some headcanons of kuroo, sugawara, and bokuto w/ a fem!s/o who is very muscular (because she does sports) and she’s really insecure about her body because of that. thank you sm!!!💘

thank you so much 🥺❤️

i’m literally writing this now right after my workout while drinking my protein shake - won’t be struggling to walk tomorrow for nothing ( ok this sounds kinda wrong lol)  🤙🏼

but for real now, this request is me. I’m doing sports since I'm 6 ( I’m 22 now) and so you could say that I’m rather muscular and this also shows in my weight. My BMI also says that I'm overweight but my doc was like *sighhhhh let’s just ignore this* while she read this. But yes I know how this can get to your head hny, especially when you weight more than some guys?? but let me tell you - I talked about this with some of my male friends and they said when they can’t lift up their girl their ego should be crashed and not yours. This just shows that they should work out more and not that you should stop or feel bad about yourself. 

if you feel bad again just look in the mirror and look at how beautiful your body looks. And if you can’t see your muscles ( that was the case for me a few months ago ) just cut the cals for some time - not much tho - and you will quickly see how hot your muscles are ! 

and all those idiots that make fun of you are either jealous that they cant keep up with doing sports regularly OR those stupid men that say that it’s not feminin to have muscles - they are just intimidated by strong women lets be real here and it hurts their ego. so keep up the work girl! 💪🏼❤️

HC fem! S/O who’s insecure about their muscles 

warnings : slight nsfw in Kuroos bc I'm in my feels 

Masterlist

Bokuto

 he would LOVE the fact that his girl is doing sports and working out 

and it’s just natural for him that this also comes hand in hand with muscles and there is no problem for him with this fact ?

so he doesn't really get that you feel insecure about this fact

you probs need to tell him straight up that you feel insecure for having muscles 

yes he realised that something was up BUT he never thought that was the reason?? 

SO he was like ??? what ??? Your beautiful muscles ?? but why??? 

he really doesn't get it at first 

so you have to tell him that you don't feel feminin enough since your not so small and fragile as a women is expected to be and that you’re constantly insecure when someone asks how much you weight 

and he’s still ???  what 

so he starts his monologue about why he doesn’t get it

“Baby I'm sorry that I can not really comfort you properly because I simply don't get it. Like yes sure society is bitch and is ruled by stupid old men who are afraid of strong women so thy tend to still put them down but I'm not one of them. I just love that we can workout together and that you kick while doing sports. and omg just your cute lil pout when you ask me to go for a run with you. Y/N I can call Atsumu rn and ask him to tell you how much I brag about you being FIT AF. AND YES he asked if he can come with us to workout. and yes I SAID NO. no one other than me is looking at your ass while your squatting. And don't let me start at how HOT your legs look in shorts  like when your walking and I can see your muscles - this line on the outside of your thigh showing damn baby.”

you look at him with tears forming in your eyes. How did you get such a perfect boyfriend :( 

“And babe. You still have a long way to go if you think it’s hard for me to lift you up” and with that he throws you over his shoulder, smacks your ass and walks over to the bedroom for some special workouts. 

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Sugawara 

ok so for him - he loves it that you help him practice or help him keeping his cardio up ( ok see I’m not intending to make this sound dirty ok it just happens) 

the others on the team are actually jelly?? like ?? he CAN practice and be with his girl?? 

you two where sitting outside, you wearing a top and some shorts, when he heard some girls talking trash about your body - especially your muscles and he instantly feels your whole aura shift 

so he puts an arm around you and asks if you want to go back home, to what you agree

on your way back he realises that you actually feel insecure about your body simply because your not that ... “slim” as others 

so when you're home he sits down with you and confronts you about it 

“But baby, you should’t feel insecure about taking care of your body and living healthy?”

“but I could do this without looking like a man” you mumble 

“ LIKE A MAN?! baby. HELL you look nothing like a man??? all your muscles just make you even more curvy?!”

“but my arms I -”

“Nononnonoooooooo your arms. GOD I you have no idea how attractive those curves on your shoulders are? Y/N I’m so incredibly PROUD that you have muscles and that you can take care of yourself and don’t need a man for caring your groceries ( I’m sorry but I get really annoyed by those girls that act as if it’s the end of the world when they need to carry those six water bottles for 5 minutes - it just makes women seem weak and I hate this bc we are definitely not weak?) and I'm so happy to spend time with you doing something we both love . which is being physically active. And looking at your body glowing after you worked out with some sweat drops running down your muscles - I really need to control myself”. (and yes I don't look glowing after a workout I’m the equivalent to a wet tomato)

he stands up and pulls you into a hug kissing your temple 

“how about we do something against those muscles and order pizza?”

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

Kuroo 

NOW we have another one who would LOVE IT if his girl is as active as he is and just living that healthy lifeeeee 

he first realise that something is up when you didn't increase the weight that you're lifting for some time even though you’re not struggling with the weight that's on? 

yes you two work out together. fight me but there CANT be another option 

SO after you to went home he asks you about it 

you just mumble something about not wanting to gain more muscles and get even heavier 

instead of saying something he lifts you up - AND because this guy is ripped he has no problem with lifting you up - and carries you straight to the bathroom - bc both of you need to shower after a workout lol- sits you down and gets rid of his and your clothes in no time, takes your hand and guides you into the shower still nothing was said on his side 

he turns on the water and presses his muscular chest one your back 

his lips gently kissing your neck, his hands roaming over your body 

“are you seriously saying that you are insecure of the body that is nonstop driving me crazy” he mumbles against your skin and starts massaging your sore muscles 

“do you know how badly I want to fuck you whenever I see the sweat running down your abs or your neck?” 

one of his hands is now in between your legs, the other one still wrapped around your waist

“and how hot it is when I feel your muscles flex when I move my fingers like this?”

he inserts two fingers and curls them which make you suck in and felt your abs 

“and don't get me started on how pretty and delicious your sore and pumped up booty looks” 

its getting really hot now in the shower so time skip

he sits next to you on the bed

“Ok baby, but please don't feel insecure about your body. I promise I work out even more so you look more tiny next to me if this helps” he jokes and kisses your knuckles “ but serious now - you look amazing and I just love working out with you and being this power couple everyone is jealous of. Whoever made you think badly about your body is just jealous because theirs isn't as fir as yours”

“but I get starred at all the time on the streets or when I'm working out - I must be because of my muscles and because women shouldn't have them”

“baby. you're joking right? You get those stares because of your muscles yes but not because they are ugly. You look fucking HOT especially because of them. Your body is just so hot, you're peachy, all those sorts gave you a wonderfull waist and the muscles on your arms help make you look even more curvy? there is nothing on you that isn't feminine. what do you think why I don't leave you alone during your sets? I’m possesiv ok? and I want every guy in this gym know that they should better not look at you for too long.” he gets up and pulls you up with him. 

“Now lets get our Protein so I can make sure that you stay as peachy as ever” he smirks and slaps your butt

“and yes I carry you, I know how hard this legday was for you” he smirks again thinking of what you two just did in the shower. 

[hollowiisms-archive-blog]

i think one of the worst things for me, aside from already having an eating disorder, is being fat (please don’t tell me “no ur not fat, ur beautiful” bc i said i was fat, not ugly. i am 100% overweight and have been told by my doctor and a dietician. my BMI falls under overweight.) while having one. because no one takes me seriously when i talk about it. 

my mom still doesn’t even really get it and she didn’t even believe it at first even though it’s now an official diagnosis of binge eating disorder. i’ve been telling her most of my life that the way i eat is NOT me eating my feelings or eating because i’m bored. like that’s all anyone things it is when i bring it up. but it’s not. i would tell her “honestly, i think it’s an eating disorder” and she’d be like “no it’s not. you just need to control yourself.”

she still kinda thinks that it has to do with being bored or being sad. almost everyone i talk to about it does. 

i don’t eat because i’m bored. i don’t eat because i’m sad. i eat to eat and i eat until i hate myself. like, most of the time, when i’m having a binge, it’s not even me. like it feels like it’s a completely different person taking over my body. 

no one who’s bored eating spends almost thirty dollars at a convenient store on chips just to eat all of them in one sitting once you get home. no one who’s eating their feelings is going to do that. most people who bored eat can control themselves, people who eat their feelings can too. 

i can’t. i literally can’t stop once i start until i’m either feeling sick to my stomach or the self loathing takes over. 

it’s just really frustrating and i wish people would understand more. 

[gardenstateofmind]

@wanderingwistlessness yeah well that's the thing, body shaming affects absolutely every type of person, fat shaming is just a very specific targeted kind of body shaming. but you could be completely conventionally attractive and still have have body image issues, and that's totally valid. bc our capitalist hell society runs on making us feel inferior so we can buy material goods to try to feel better. the diet and fashion industries generate insane amounts of money i just specifically focus on fat shaming bc it's like what people try to justify the most. u can see people be totally great abt body stuff but then they'll say shit like "but we can't glorify obesity that's so dangerous, you need to lose weight, im only saying this bc i care about your health" which is bullshit. i dont doubt that some people genuinely think they just care abt the health aspect, but that view is rooted seeing fat=bad bc of my mental illness i have a very difficult time eating regularly and have almost no appetite; eating is a genuine struggle for me. but my body is naturally built heavy, even when i was eating probably under 1000 calories a day, i was still 150 lbs on a 5'3 frame which bmi considers "overweight" lmfao. and one time when a doctor was prescribing me a medication, she said "this can cause a decrease in appetite, so if you want to go on a diet, this could be a great starting point" and i was like "Thanks Elizabeth but considering i have a literal eating disorder and barely get in one meal a day, id rather not have even less desire to eat" leave my 200lb body olone and deadass one of the major reasons im scared to start testosterone is bc it changes your weight distribution. right now im "curvy" the majority of my fat is concentrated in butt+thighs and then my bust, shoulders, and arms are very built, which leaves me with a comparatively small waist (rn i think im 36 inches at my waist but i used to be 28) and honestly that's why i dont face as much fat shaming, bc im still conventionally attractive. when i present feminine i sort of fit into the whole sexy curvy latina stereotype. and im scared to not be conventionally attractive. i hate it, i hate so much that i care, but i do. and i actually really enjoy exercising but my chronic respiratory issues mean that i can barely breathe staying still, when i physically exert myself i almost pass out from lack of oxygen+high heart rate. im trying to get a healthier diet first and hopefully that'll give me a necessary boost in health so i can have better endurance.