#but anyhow. yeah. that's a whole thing. fuck the housing market

[emrysaf]

Then it Wasn’t

Here is my Montgomery De La Cruz AU

Yes it’s probably cheesy, but whatever. I have ideas for the next part so let me know if that’s something you want to see.

Thanks!

(Not my gif. Awesome job @marleenaalexandra​)

There was no way I  wanted to go into my Junior year the same way I left Sophmore year. As in, a nerdy, somewhat oversized, average, virgin.

Unfortunately, there was only two of those things that had quick fixes and if I got even a B in a class my dad would kill me. Possibly literally.

----

 After a brief panic attack, followed by positive affirmations to myself, it was decided. Sounds like the man-made virginal concept was gonna go. Come hell or high water I was getting laid before the school year started.

----

Fast forward a week and I was going -- willingly -- to one of my first real high school house parties. Jessica Davis was having a back to school “get together”. I mean, it wasn’t that I’d never been invited out of spite or anything. I’d been asked by some kids throughout the last couple years. Just never felt inclined to go. But with my new school year resolution… It was this or nothing.

-----

This party is absolute madness, and there is no way I dressed correctly if these girls are anything to go by. My too-big plaid shirt and leggings didn’t show near enough of .. anything compared to these sloshed, but admittedly, pretty, decent girls. They seemed to delicately toe the line between “hot” and “slutty”. Meanwhile I was cornering the market on lumberjane chic. Fuck me.

No matter, I was gonna land some dick (do people even say that?? Jesus Y/N.) if it was the last thing I did. Speaking of --

“Hey there. Looking lonely. I figured I’d see if you’d like a drink or a dance?” asked a vaguely familiar, black haired boy.

“Actually, I’m trying to get some tonight So, no alcohol Consent and all that..” I rambled; catching myself with another internal scream of how ridiculous I was to say that out loud. 

Tommy, yes that was his name, took in what I said. His eyes grew wide while a, admittedly creepy, smile stretched across his face. This had to be a feat all on its own since he was on the scrawny side to begin with, and his face was pulled sharply down his long face anyhow. Overall, he was attractive enough though.

“Oh really,” he laughed into his cup of who-knows-what.

I took is momentary distraction to force the tomato color from my face and neck. “Wow. Sorry, that sounded terrible!”

“No!” he spluttered over his cup. “I mean, that’s really why most people come to these things anyway. Right? At least you’re honest.”

“Yeah,” I grimaced. “To a fault sometimes. You’re, uh, you’re Tommy right?”

“Yup. Foster.” he said as he gestured up the stairs past the throng of grinding teens. “Whatcha think?”

After taking a second to recover and remember what he was getting at, “Oh! Sex. Yeah. Uhm, okay. Why not?” (God dang it.. ugh.)

“How romantic,” he drawled with his lips pulled up on one side while he took my hand and led me to the stairs.

We made it to the top of the stairs and rounded the hall only to be stopped by someone stumbling out of the bathroom. 

Not looking as they fixed their fly, a tall body collided with mine, but large hands reached out to catch me before I fell backwards.

“Jesus!” I yelped as my shock turned to annoyance. “Oh… it’s you.”

“Y/N? What are you doing at an actual fucking party, and sneaking up the stairs no less!?” chuckled none other than my irritating neighbor since infancy, Montgomery De La Cruz. But his snickering faded when he looked over from me to the boy who still had a grip on my forearm. “With..? Foster?”

“It’s a party Monty. We came, we saw, and now we brought the party up here man,” interrupted Tommy holding out his hand for a “celebratory” fist bump. Bro style.

Apparently, that wasn’t going to happen.

“Party?” sneered Montgomery looking back to me. “With him? No. No, Y/N.”

I backed away as he reached out to pull me to his side of the hall. With furrowed brows I growled, “Excuse me?”

“Yeah dude. We’re fine,” piped up Tommy as we tried to bypass him to finish finding an empty room.

“Y/N, this is your first party, and I think you’re drunk. I’ll tell the guys I have to go, and I will take you home,” urged Monty with a hand out to stop Tommy from walking even one more step.

“No Monts. I haven’t had anything stronger than a Cherry Dr. Pepper asshat.” I threw back at him as my whole body tensed up.

Tommy just stood beside us gaping like a fish out of water. Probably assuming all kinds of things and none of them were true.

“Ya know Y/N.. maybe I should just go..?” he let the statement bleed into a question more directed at Montgomery than me.

In return, Monty fixed him with a look of incredulous irritation, “Yeah Foster. Probably a good idea.”

And just like that, snap, Tommy Foster rushed back down the stairs with his proverbial tail between his legs.

“What the absolute fuck Cruz?!” I yelled.

With the first sign of my rising voice he started herding me further down the hall, and away from the stairs.

“What do you mean, ‘What the fuck’,” he asked in a stage whisper. “You finally get the lady-balls to come to an actual party and you book it up the stairs with that fucktard first thing??”

After that I was livid.

“That fucktard?” I practically screeched. “That-- that guy was my best chance at getting laid tonight Montgomery.”

“Getting laid? Since when-- What? That’s why you came?” he spluttered.

“Duh.” I spat while I rolled my eyes so hard I thought they would get stuck up there. “Why? I can’t be looking for a good time? Isn’t that why you came? Why you always party? Ya know what-- Maybe that isn’t why you come to these fucking things. But it isn’t like I have dudes lining up down the block or dick flying at me from all directions twenty-four-seven--”

“I--” he tried to interject, but I was past heated and moving onto the tear-filled frustration of someone trying to explain their deeply ingrained self-consciousness.

“I’m not going into another school year as the frumpy-- nerdy-- virgin De La Cruz!” I cried. “Even if I am the only one that knows I’ve changed; something’s got to give, and there is only one of those shitty defining characteristics I can do anything about right now. And you ruined it. We start school in five days asshole!”

“You just ‘need’ fucked Y/N?” he asked after a stint of silence while he tucked a wet piece of hair back away from my face. “Could have just said something a couple years ago. I could’ve just hopped the fence. No worries birdy. I can give you a hand… Or two.”

[star-trekkin-across-theuniverse]

Okay, for the past week, I’ve been having a recurring dream that somehow, my husband an I decided to open a pirate themed amusement park. Our house exterior is a sweet pirate ship replica, there a “grotto” around the ship-house that is a swimming pool awesomeness similar to Great Wolf lodge and on the other side of the grotto there’s a “pirate city” market, food and fun shit - arcade and midway game kind of fun shit, not roller coasters and tilt-a-whirl fun shit. It wasn’t just appealing to kids either, there was a whole “nightlife” element to the park too.

Seriously, this is how I dream.

Anyhow, the first night I had this dream, we’d decided on having a cosplay weekend. If you came in a costume, you would get a gate discount. We decided it was Marvel themed, probably to celebrate the release of a movie or something.

There was a multitude of Thors and Lokis, and plenty of Tony Starks and Caps. But this one Thor was abso-fucking-lutely amazing. So I went up to him to give him the prize and he said he couldn’t accept it because he’d nicked it from the prop department - it was Chris Hemsworth. And before I could flail and fangirl he realized I was the owner and got super excited and wanted my kids to meet his kids.

Then a rush of Lokis came by, one by one getting hotter and hotter. As they got hotter, their pick up lines got worse and worse. The last Loki actually made me turn and give him the eyebrow “are you fucking kidding me?” Yeah, it was Tom Hiddleston. “Too much, darling?” In that fucking accent and I nearly died. Which is why I think I woke up at that point. Anymore and I would have been dead.

Keep in mind, as the proprietor of this establishment, I was in cheesy pirate wench gear, with acres of cleavage on display.

I didn’t figure I would have the dream a second time. But I did.

THREE NIGHTS IN A ROW NOW, GODDAMN KARL URBAN HAS SHOWN UP AT MY AMUSEMENT PARK DRESSED LIKE A PIRATE.

It’s not the kind of thing you can recover from, let me tell you. And not a sketchy gross dirty Jack Sparrow, either. More a “golden age of piracy and nautical voyaging” kind of pirate, gods have mercy on all of us.

Better than Black Hat, lemme tell ya.

[fallen029]

Remember Me.6

For her first day of being an official eight month old, Haven decided she was going to be a complete and utter brat the whole day.

She cried from the moment she woke up that morning, she threw her toys, she even refused to eat. And Mira, who only had to put up with her in the morning, thought it was completely hilarious. Laxus, who had to deal with it the entire day, was not nearly as amused.

"Haven," he growled as she knocked over her bowl of peas. "You're gonna eat, kid. So knock it off."

"Laxus," Mira complained as she walked out of the kitchen, still finishing getting ready for the day. "She's not old enough to know that's bad. You know that she likes knocking things over."

"Oh yeah? 'cause I think she's doing this just to piss me off."

"Babies don't have that kind of capacity."

"A fucking demon does," he said softly after Mira was too far away to hear, going to stare down at his baby. She was whining again, wanting out of her highchair. Narrowing his eyes, he said, "Look, devil child, you're gonna eat. And then? Then we're gonna play. And at some point, your stupid uncle's gonna come over with Ever and they're gonna watch you for me while I go out. So you better spend these few hours with me wisely, 'cause it's on borrowed time."

Then he gently patted the baby on the head before getting to work cleaning up those peas. He was starting to get a little peeved with her to be honest. He knew that really, she wasn't trying to get under his skin, that she was only a baby, but she was bothering him.

"Okay, so Elfman and Ever will be here around five, Laxus, so you can go out," Mira began as she came back into the room. The baby was drinking her bottle then, but that was it. Fine with Laxus. She could starve for all he cared.

…Not really, of course, but he was a little annoyed.

Grunt.

"What are you gonna do, huh?" She was all bouncy and stuff, clearly excited for the day. She was giving him a headache. "Are you gonna come to the guild and see me? Because that could be-"

Grunt.

"Well, I mean, I don't care if you don't," she said slowly as she went to run her hands through his hair as he was on his knees, still scrubbing up those peas. He frowned at that and looked up at her. "I mean, you never get to do anything alone."

"Don't be late, Mira," he grumbled, going back to what he was doing. "You- Hey!"

The baby had pushed her bottle off the highchair then where it landed perfectly on Laxus' head. Rubbing at it, he glared up at Haven while Mira only giggled.

"This isn't funny, Mirajane. She's being mean to me for no reason."

"Well," she said slowly as she bent down to pick up the bottle. "The two of you do spend most every day together. Maybe it'll be good for you to get out of the house. I'm sure she's as frustrated with you as you are her."

"Little brat," he grumbled. "You're gonna be sorry when I start working again, kid, and you get stuck with Elfman and Lisanna all the time. Wish that you treated me better."

After Mirajane left, Laxus found that the baby still didn't want her toys. When she had woken up that morning, he had tried to let her play with some, but she only whined and knocked them around, apparently as bored with the house as he was. The response was the same then and Laxus figured he was going to have to find something else for her to do.

"Alright, kid," he grumbled after putting his shoes on and gathering her into his arms. "We can go play outside, I guess, for a little. But no eating things. Like bugs and shit. 'cause you might get sick and die. Then Mira would yell at me. And I don't want that."

The kid seemed to rather like rolling around in the grass in their front yard. Laxus just made sure that there were no ants or something that she might roll into before leaving her to it. At least it had calmed her down some.

Even though it was not even midday yet, the temperatures were rising. It was summer by that point and he had no doubt that it would be a hot one. Compared to the winter though, he welcomed it. It would honestly be the prefect time to be out doing little jobs, but he had said that he wasn't going anywhere until the baby was a year old and he was trying his hardest to stay by that.

He was sitting with the baby, watching her do her best to crawl around on the grass and listening to her babble, when a very flushed Lisanna showed up. He saw her coming as well as had smelled her, but still only watched her walk down the sidewalk and up the path.

"Laxus," she greeted though she still seemed rather shocked to see him. "What are you guys doing out here?"

"Playing," he said, nodding down at the baby. "What are you doing here?"

"I have a date tonight and Mira told me I could go through her jewelry to-"

"You have a what?" He frowned, standing then before lifting the baby in his arms. Haven protested to the highest degree, but it did no good as Laxus turned to head up the walk and to the house.

"A date, Laxus."

"With who?"

"No one you would know." She followed him in, moving to take the whiny baby from him. The change of people did nothing for Haven who continued to complain. "I met him at the market."

Grunt. "Well, Mira's shit's on the dresser in the bedroom."

Still though, he followed her in there, still clearly bothered by something. After him standing in the doorway of the bedroom watching her for a minute or two, Lisanna asked him what was up.

"You don't think I'm gong to steal something, do you, Laxus?" she asked with a smile as Haven, who was still in her arms, finally gave in and just laid against her aunt's shoulder.

"No," he said slowly, still just staring at her. "I'm just…shocked."

"Shocked?"

Grunt. "You've never dated before."

That made her pause before glancing at him. "What are you then? Jealous? Or protective?"

"Neither," he grumbled, turning to walk off then. "Just curious."

"Mmmhmm."

Now annoyed with her too, he headed off to the bathroom. When he got out, Lisanna had moved onto Mira's closet.

"So what? You don't have nothing nice to wear?"

"Nothing like Mira does," Lisanna admitted as he came over to take his daughter from her. Then he went and sat down on the bed, putting Haven next to him, still staring over at Lisanna. "She buys more dresses than I do. And I want to wear something nice tonight. You know, impress him."

Laxus grunted, moving to lay down then. Haven was trying to crawl away, but he only reached out to grab her and pull her up onto his chest. Little demon.

"Fool him, you mean?"

"Oh hush, Laxus. You sound like you don't want me to go out on this date and you don't even know anything about this guy."

Grunt.

"I think it's cute that you're such a protective brother."

"I'm not your brother," he grumbled as Haven let out one last whine before just laying against his chest and giving in. They were having a very trying day. He couldn't wait to finally get away from her later.

"You're so cute."

"Lisanna-"

"Mira's boobs are so freaking huge," the woman was complaining then as she pulled a dress out. Holding it against herself, she frowned. "I could never fill this out."

Glancing over at her, Laxus snorted. "You say it like it's a bad thing."

"Maybe I can borrow something of Lucy's," Lisanna sighed as she put the dress back. "I know that Erza has a thousand things, but her boobs are bigger than Mira's, I think."

Snort. "Yeah, right."

"Or maybe I should just go in something of mine? Ugh. I don't know."

"Well, leave quietly. Resting over here."

Lisanna gave him a look. Then, giggling into her palm, she turned to leave. "You know, Laxus, you're so lazy now that you probably couldn't do a regular job, much less a S-Class-"

"What are you talking about? I ain't lazy."

"Mmmm."

"I'm not." He sat up some then, shifting Haven to his lap. "I'm fucking not."

"Lang-"

"I'm more than an S-Class wizard. I'm the fucking strongest wizard that ever lived. So-"

"You're so touchy, bro."

"I'm not your-"

"So did I need to stay and make you lunch or-"

"No," he grumbled. "Haven doesn't need to spend this much time around Strausses. Get out."

"Just admit that you're worried about this guy."

He would feel better if he knew the man, but no, he wasn't worried. Why would he be? It wasn't like Lisanna was a kid. She was just…kidlike. And naïve. And never seemed to make good decisions for herself. And it was very easy to treat her like a baby. Because she practically was one. And he was with Elfman and Mira for the most part on the protective scale. Because she just needed them. Since she was the baby. And babies need someone to double check their plans. And…and…

"Hey," he called out then before he heard her leave the house. "Stay and make me lunch in two hours. You're not busy until then, are you?"

She took a moment to respond, but when she did, she was sticking her head into the bedroom and staring at him. "No, but-"

"Good." Then he shifted to lay down once more though Haven only whined a little. "You can clean until then."

"You're so cute, big brother L-"

"I'm not your damn brother!"

During lunch Laxus found out that the man's name was Arik, he had a cat, and he was taking her out to dinner. They had met when she was buying apples and he was not a wizard.

"You can't be serious," Laxus grumbled. "A civilian?"

"What would you have preferred, Laxus? I date someone at the guild?"

Grunt. He'd rather she didn't date. Mainly because if things ever went right with a guy, then Mira would have him over in their house constantly and Laxus would have to pretend that he liked him.

He knew flat out that he would never like any guy Lisanna brought home. Hell, he didn't even like Elfman!

"Besides," Lisanna said as she looked up from her plate of food and at him. "Who at the guild would I date that would make you happy?"

Good point. More ammunition for her never to date. Ever.

After Lisanna left, it was still Haven's naptime, so Laxus went ahead and grabbed a shower. He'd be going out in a few hours anyhow. Plus, Haven had been rather snotty all day, rubbing her nose against his chest and stuff. She was a disgusting little demon, his baby was.

Haven was no better after her nap than she was before. She was still cranky and honestly, Laxus was more than ready for Elfman and Ever to show up.

"Kid," he complained as he laid on the couch with her cuddled to his chest. "You have got to stop whining. Please. What do I have to do? Huh?"

Eventually she gave out and fell asleep against him. With a sigh, he only kissed the top of her head. It would be a long few hours.

And it was. When Elfman finally showed up, Laxus had never been more happy to see the 'manly' idiot. After explaining how cranky Haven had been, Laxus handed her off to Evergreen who quickly shifted her to Elfman's arms.

"What's wrong, little one? Or did you just miss me?"

Laxus didn't stick around to find out. He took off almost immediately. And as he wasn't a completely heartless guy, he stopped by the guild quickly to see Mirajane (and to find Bickslow and Freed), before taking off to spend the night drinking and watching Freed get uncomfortable around the women that Bickslow would attempt to pick up.

It was the most fun he could have anymore.

As much crap as he had given Lisanna about dating a normal citizen, he had to admit, they were the easiest to entertain. Or at least the women were. Shoot off a few bolts of lightening and they're all over you.

…Not that that was any good to him anymore. He mostly just sat around, drinking, while Bickslow creeped out any women he might have gotten with his 'babies'.

"I thought women were supposed to love children," he grumbled to Laxus and Freed at one point as he slouched in his seat, his babies hovering over him in a comforting manner.

"How many times I gotta tell you, numb nuts, women love human children. Not your creepy toys," Laxus grumbled as he slung back some more beer. Then, glancing around the bar they were in, he said, "Tell you what. If you promise not to fuck it up with your little…babies, I'll get you a woman right here, right now."

"How?" Freed, who had been relieved when Bickslow, once again, scared off the woman, put his head down again.

"Here." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his wallet. Then he produce a tiny photo of Haven. Handing it off to Bickslow, he said, "I want this back at the end of the night. Next time you talk about your 'babies', make it singular. Say her mother died or some shit. Left you. Whatever. Then you'll have your choice of women."

"And please, pick them up else where," Freed pleaded, the overly shy man glancing around before sighing. "Not a decently dressed woman around. And Laxus, you carry that around with you?"

"Of course," he grumbled as he leaned back in his chair, mug in hand. "Replaced the backup rubber."

Freed only sighed. "To think the changes that have been made in only a few years."

Snort. "You kidding? I still fuck the hottest woman in Fiore, don't I? A woman that cooks, cleans, and wants to have my kids while I take off whenever the fuck I want? So what? I don't have women crawling on me anymore? If I wanted that, I would have that. Trust me, Mira wouldn't be that hard to fool. But I don't. So shut the fuck up about it."

"A-Ah, yes, Laxus." Freed bowed his head. "Of course, Laxus."

With a grunt he looked down at his beer. Maybe he had had too much to drink.

When he got home that night, it was rather late. Still, all the lights were on in the house, which immediately had him suspicious. He could smell Mirajane and Haven before he opened the door, but he knew Elfman was still there too. That was more from the fact that he could hear the grown man crying though.

"I'm so sorry, sis," he was blubbering when Laxus walked in. "It's all my fault! I-I should have known. I-"

"Now, now, Elfman, calm down." Mirajane was standing in front of him as he sat on the couch, his head buried in his hands. Evergreen was standing next to Mirajane and for possibly the first time ever, actually snuggling a whining Haven. "Babies have very weak immune systems. They-"

"But-"

"What the heck's going on?" Laxus slammed the door behind him, his eyes falling easily to his baby who was still crying. "What-"

"I'm so sorry, Laxus!" Elfman sobbed as he pressed the palm of his hands deeper into his eye sockets. "I should have taken better care-"

"Elf, I think she was sick before we got here, dear," Evergreen said as she gently stroked the baby's back. She had the child over her shoulder and Laxus could see Haven's red face. "Now stop crying. Honestly, is this how a man would act?"

Elfman sniffled. "I only-"

"What's wrong?" Laxus turned his attention to Mirajane who only gave him a soft smile.

"Nothing, Laxus. And you reek of whiskey and beer. Go lay down."

"What-"

"She has a cold is all, we think," Evergreen said as she moved to hand the baby off to Mirajane. Then, turning to Elfman, she tugged on one of his arms until he stood. "And now that you're home, we're leaving. If that's okay with you, Mirajane."

"That's fine." She kissed Haven's head. "Really. Babies get sick a lot, Elfman. And in the morning, I'll take her to see Porly-"

"Is she dying?" Laxus wasn't very clear headed then and went to go take the baby from his wife. She only turned away, not allowing him to. "Mira-"

"No, Laxus. She's not dying. Now go to bed."

"But-"

"Laxus-"

"Give me my fucking baby, Mira! Now."

"Hey." Suddenly, just like that, all of Elfman's tears were gone. Going over to Laxus, he literally shoved him back. "I don't care how drunk you are. You're not going to-"

"Enough, boys," Mira sighed as Ever went to grab Elfman. Laxus, though, was not one to be shown up. Especially not in front of his wife and kid. Especially with all the liquid courage in him. Bucking up, he righted himself before marching back over to Elfman.

"You little-"

"I said enough," Mira growled, her voice reaching a different octave that made everyone else in the room freeze. Except for Haven, who was still whining loudly. After pressing a kiss to Haven's head, she said, "Goodnight, Elfman. And thank you, Evergreen. You can both go now."

"No way, Mira. Not if he-"

"Come on, Elf," Ever sighed, tugging on him. "Laxus is just drunk. He's not-"

"Mira has enough to deal with," Elfman grumbled.

"That's right. And you don't want to be added to that."

Laxus glared at the other man the whole time he was leaving, though he didn't say anything. Once he and Ever were gone though, Laxus tried to tell Mira something, but she shut that down.

"She has a cold, Laxus. Babies get those a lot. Their immune systems are horrible." Glancing at him, she said, "If you want to help, go lay down. When I'm home, the last thing I want to smell more of is a bar. When I get her calmed down, I'll let you hold her if you scrub up first. No telling what sorts of germs you have on you."

He wanted to argue because it had been a good three months since he left the baby and they spent practically every day since then together. He was the one that could calm her down. Him and him alone.

Still, Mira seemed kind of serious. And he knew that he was rather drunk. Still able to function (he had a rather high tolerance), but his mind was rather foggy.

So he went into the bathroom first, to wash up, before stripping down to his boxers and going to lay down in bed. It took everything in him to keep from going to take Haven from Mira as he heard her whining. Elfman had felt the guilt of being the one to find her sick, but Laxus felt worse. She had been bad all day because she wasn't feeling well. But he was such a lousy father that he didn't realize it. He really didn't need to be around her, if he couldn't even figure out when she was sick or not.

"Here, Daddy. You can hold her for a few minutes, but then I need to go put her in her crib."

He only laid still on the bed as Mirajane came to lay the baby down on his chest, her finally quiet, but not yet asleep. Laxus sighed, reaching down to stroke her head with a frown.

"She's got a fever," he mumbled with a frown. "Mira-"

"It's just a cold." She stood at his bedside, staring down at the two of them with a frown. "It'll pass."

Not soon enough though. Poor baby.

"She was cranky call day," he mumbled, glancing up at Mira's face. She still looked rather annoyed with him. "And I thought she was just being bratty. And she didn't want to eat. Then she kept getting snot on me-"

"Okay, so you didn't know that meant she was sick. So what? This is your first baby, Laxus." Mirajane shook her head at him. "You're not going to know everything right off the bat."

"Still. I should have-"

"So next time she's like this, you'll double check before just write it off as her being a brat. That doesn't make you a bad person this time." Reaching down, she lifted the baby back into her arms again, far too soon for Laxus' liking. "You don't have to be a perfect parent, Laxus. You can't be. Ever. But look at what you are. Caring, concerned, involved."

"I was out, Mira, and she needed-"

"Needed you? She didn't need you. She would have liked you, maybe, but trust me, Elfman and Ever were more than adequate. And I got home not soon after her fever developed."

Grunt.

"Now say goodnight. I have to go put her back in bed now."

Laxus sat up then, to kiss his baby's head, before letting Mirajane walk off with her. He knew that the second she began crying later, he'd be up to check on her as quickly as possible. Especially considering he would get no sleep then.

Was going out really that important? Really? He should have known something was wrong. He just should have.

When Mira came back to him, she immediately took to cuddling up to him, but Laxus wasn't very responsive. With a frown, she asked, "Did you not have fun going out tonight?"

"It was fine," he grumbled. "Just wish it had been yesterday or something."

"Oh, Laxus." She kissed his cheek then. "You're really worried, aren't you? Or is just the alcohol?"

"Are you not worried?" he asked with a frown. "I mean-"

"Laxus, you're not listening." She sighed, snuggling against him. "It's just a cold. I promise. And for the next few days, we're going to have to watch her and who she's around. Then-"

"Days? This is going to last days?" He shook his head. "I think-"

"Why are you getting so-"

"What if she had what I had? Or have?" He unintentionally tensed up. "If it wasn't for this lacrima, I wouldn't be what I am. And I don't want to have to do that to her, but-"

"You are more than overreacting, Laxus. All this from a cold? She has a little cold, alright?" She kissed his chest that time. "I know that you're scared-"

"But what if-"

"Laxus, calm down." She sighed then. "I know part of this is just the alcohol talking, but you're-"

He shoved her off for that before rolling onto his side, giving her his back. "I just don't want her to really be sick. Alright? She's just a baby. She hasn't done shit. And it's not fair."

Mira snuggled against his back. "Get some sleep, Laxus. I'm sure she'll be back up in the next hour or so. It's going to be a long night."

When wasn't it?

Even after Porlyusica confirmed that, yes, it was just a cold, Laxus worried. Even though Mirajane took off work a few days to monitor the baby, Laxus hardly let her do anything without a fight. He was convinced that the baby wanted him and only him.

For the most part, she seemed to.

At the moment, they were on the morning of the third day into the sickness and Laxus had the baby on his chest as he stretched out on the couch, humming softly to her. He could hear Mirajane and Lisanna, who was on her lunch break and rushed over to check on Haven, talking in the kitchen. In all the fuss about Haven, they hadn't rightly gotten to talk about Lisanna's date and were using that time to do just that.

"They're too loud," Laxus mumbled to his baby at one point as he pressed a kiss against her head. She wouldn't go to sleep, probably too bothered by her fever and no doubt uncomfortable. "Huh, baby?"

He hadn't left Haven's side. At the most, he'd go take a leak or shower, but even then, he was right back to holding her or standing over her crib. She was so tiny, after all. And anything could happen. He didn't care who said she just had a cold; he wasn't taking any risks.

Letting out a long sigh, Laxus went back to humming for the baby. He was hoping it comforted her. He was willing to sing for her, maybe, but Mira and Lisanna would have to leave and he didn't see that as happening any time soon.

"Laxus," he heard Mira call out then. "Are you sleeping?"

"No," he grumbled. "What do you want?"

"Haven's been fine all morning. I was thinking about going into work today. Just for awhile. Do you think-"

"We're fine," he said. After all, if Mira left, he could stop worrying about embarrassing himself in front of her or Lisanna. "Go."

"Okay. I'll make you some sandwiches before I go."

She also tried to nurse Haven again, but the baby didn't seem too hungry. She calmed the baby down again though and Lisanna snuggled her a little before they laid her back down on Laxus' chest and left.

"Maybe it's the silver hair, but fuck, they're more annoying than any women I've ever met." He kissed Haven't head. "You have no idea how glad I was when you were born with this little tuff of blonde hair. Can't do much about those damn blue eyes, but at least they make you cute. Besides, you gotta look a little like Mira, else she might try to get me to have another kid so she has her own little twin."

Nuzzling the baby's head, he said, "Of course, she's already hopped on the next baby train. I don't think I can do it though, kid. Not if it's gonna be like this, if I'mma feel like this. You're more than enough for me."

Eventually he got Haven to fall back asleep after singing a few of his favorite songs to her. Then he went and put her in her crib, if only so he could eat in peace. It would only take a few minutes, anyhow.

When he finished eating, he went back to the baby, gently lifting her up before taking her with him into his and Mira's bedroom. He didn't want to wake her, of course, but they were both just more comfortable in there.

He didn't sleep though. He just laid there, watching his baby, making sure that she didn't need anything. Laxus knew that he'd screwed up once, not being around when she was in need, but he wouldn't again. She was just a little baby and it was his job to make sure she was well protected. Even from unseen things, like germs and bacteria.

"You know, kid, our times getting short." He laid on his side, staring down at her. She had woken up again, but wasn't whining. Just to be sure that she didn't start, he kept stroking her tummy, trying to keep her calm. "I want to be here with you, but I'm getting bored. And Lisanna basically called me out the other day. I feel like I'm doing woman's work here."

When the baby took his finger, he just let her drag it up to her mouth to suck on it. He didn't smile, but he wasn't grimacing either.

"I know. It's not fair. And I promise, they're not gonna be long jobs. A few days here or there. I'll won't take a serious one till you're first birthday, at least. At which point, by the way, you will have a butt load of new toys and junk to play with. Ha! See Gajeel get his brat half the stuff I'mma get you."

Haven's little teeth were poking his finger then, but it didn't hurt. Not really. He just felt bad for her that she was teething on top of being sick.

"Tell you what though. Every time I leave, I'mma come back with something for you. Would you like that? Huh?" Leaning down, he kissed her head. The baby just blinked up at him though, his finger still in her mouth. "All sorts of cool stuff. I go a lot of places, you know. And the longer I'm away, the better the gift. Okay? That way you won't forget me again. 'cause you'll be all excited about when I get back home. Anticipation and whatnot.

"Not until you're better though, of course. 'cause I ain't going nowhere, Haven, until you're well again." He nuzzled her then, but it backfired and annoyed the baby more than it comforted her. Laxus only kissed her cheek then with a sigh. "Sorry, kid. Didn't mean to disturb you."

That's how Mirajane found him when she got home. He hadn't slept a wink, but the baby had dozed a few times. She had also cried for awhile there and he even got her to take a bottle. Maybe she was feeling better.

When Mirajane asked how the baby was doing though, he couldn't help his negative side from taking over.

"Horrible. I think she needs to sleep in bed with us."

"Oh, Laxus-"

"She needs me."

"Okay, Daddy. A few more minutes, but then she's going back to her room." With that, Mirajane turned and left the room.

He only grunted. It still made no sense to him why he could sleep in the same bed as her for the whole night. Well, it made sense, of course, that he needed to be conscious of her and in his sleep, maybe, he might be able to crush her, but it just seemed unlikely. It seemed more like Mira's overbearing nature keeping him from protecting their daughter as far as he was concerned.

When Mira returned, he got up to follow her to the kid's room, make sure that she was comfortable and everything. Mira wouldn't let him stay in there very long though. Eventually she took him by the hand and tugged him back to the living room.

"Mira-"

"Did you even eat today, Laxus? Besides those sandwiches?"

"How could I when-"

"Come on." Another tug. "I'll make you something, okay?"

"Haven-"

"She needs her rest, silly." She released him once they were in the kitchen. "Now sit there and let me make you some dinner. Alright?"

Grunt. Mirajane wasn't just overbearing towards the kid. She was always trying to mother him too.

"Master was worried about Haven," Mira told him not soon after he sat down. "He said he'd come to look at her, but that he thought you'd only-"

"Kick him out. And I would. He's just another germy person that might-"

"Oh, Laxus. He's her grandfather."

"Great-grandfather," he corrected.

"All the more reason-"

"No."

"You're so grumpy," Mira scolded. "Kids are supposed to make people jollier, not more of a jerk."

Grunt. He was different and she knew it. His new and improved attitude wasn't for anyone other than his wife and daughter though. They were the only ones that really mattered, after all. Everyone else could just go to hell.

Mira came to sit in his lap as she waited for something to cook. He wasn't paying enough attention to see what she had stuck in the oven, but it smelled like some sort of meat. Sighing, he wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"I feel like we never do this anymore," she told him softly as she cuddled back against him. He only kissed her neck in response. "You know?"

Grunt.

"Of course, you spend so much of your time with Haven nowadays that I never get you alone."

"You're the one that wanted a-"

"I know." She turned her head to kiss his cheek. "This is actually exactly what I wanted. What I hoped for. I just never thought it would happen."

"That what wouldn't happen?"

"That you'd even like the baby, much less love her." When he didn't say anything, she giggled. "You do, don't you? Love her?"

Grunt.

"Say it, Laxus. You love-"

"Knock it off, Mira."

"Why? You-"

He tightened his grip on her then, trying to be rough enough to get the message across to her without having to hurt her. Not that he ever really could hurt her. She was, as much as he hated to admit it, one of the strongest mages he knew.

"If I say to knock it off, you knock it off," he grumbled which made her dissolve into more giggles.

"It doesn't make you weak, silly," she told him as she practically fell out of his arms in laughter. "It makes you stronger. Now you have something else to fight for. Tell me that if something attacked Magnolia today, you wouldn't fight twice as hard as you would have a year ago? Or two years ago?"

She had a point, but he still didn't rather like the idea of it. Instead of answering, he only let her go, her luckily having found her balance by that point.

"I bet you now that you're stronger, if only mentally, than you ever have been before." Then, after pausing, she said, "And when we have our new baby, you'll be even-"

"Alright." He shoved her out of his lap then. "That's enough of that."

More giggles as she went to take her own seat.

"You know that I'll wear you down to it eventually," Mira taunted. "It worked once."

The worst part? He knew that she would. In fact, he was pretty sure she already had, at least somewhat. Sigh. He might be stronger in Mira's mind, but he only felt weaker and weaker each day.

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