#but got stuck in the 3rd line because i dont know how to pick a note so high so suddenly like that

[mysterious-masked-man]

Now what I'm about to tell you sounds outrageous, and might be disturbing, but it's something that happened to me, and even though it was brief, I can't feel at peace until I tell you what's going on.

I'm a big fan of the online animated show, Epithet Erased. As such, I'm a huge peddler of fan content, indulging in other people's edits, fanart, and OCs, and creating my own. I dont share any of it, not with anyone online that I don't know. I am a good editor though, and I get asked to help edit compilations a lot by my friend, who's name I wont tell you for privacy reasons. They've asked me to edit silly little compilations out of raw material they send me, usually just of funny thing their favorite characters say.

This is the reason why I wasn't that perturbed to receive a video file over email from an unknown person. Their email was "lptnmjngaeprkfl@gmail.com", and even though it's just a bunch of random letters, I didnt think anything of it. I myself have some weirdly named emails because I like getting free trials of stuff over and over, and I only remembered the name because I copied it to include in a message to said friend, asking if they'd sent someone who needed editing my way. I didnt get a response, but I decided to open the file anyway, just to watch it and see what was up.

It looked like content I'd already seen before, and since the thumbnail was of Sylvie in the museum, I immediately recognized it as the beginning of the 3rd episode. I watched through it, and nothing really stood out. For a moment, I had thought someone really just sent me the third episode as a .MOV file. The battle between Sylvie and Giovanni and Molly began, and everything went on like normal. Right up to the part where Giovanni was batting Molly on the head with a ball of yarn, it was all how it should have been, and I laughed at the joke the same as I always did. Then, Giovanni tossed the yarn, hit it with the bat... and things started to diverge from there.

First off, the ball didnt just bounce off of Sylvie like it did in the original. He flew right off screen, and that's when I had become confused. It had already been edited, it seemed to me, so I became confused as to why it was sent to me.

Giovanni said something like "wow, that worked? I didnt think it would", and I realized I hadn't actually heard that line before, or if I had, the inflection was different. I'm autistic and this is a special interest of mine, so I've watched the whole series over again nearly a million times. I could probably recite the first episode word by word if you asked me. As the dialogue continued, it became more apparent that these were professionally recorded lines from the original voice actors.

I got really excited, thinking or hoping for a moment that it was like, a leak of some first-draft content. I didnt even think about how weird it was that it was just something I'd gotten in an email. I paused the file and tried to exit my editing program to tell my friend, but my computer wouldnt let me exit the program. It's old, so this isnt unusual. I pulled discord up on my phone to tell my friend, and that's when I'd noticed they replied to my message earlier. They told me that they hadn't told anyone my email, and to not open the file, because it was probably a virus.

I told them that I had ended up opening the file, and that it was of epithet erased, but it was different. For a while, they thought I was pulling a prank on them, but I told them it was really well done, and the voice acting was too spot on to be fan made. They *demanded* I send the clip to them when I finished watching it, and I promised them I would.

I continued playing the video, and molly and Giovanni walked over to where Sylvie had fallen over. Molly suddenly became very upset, shouting and crying. Giovanni had to drag her away. The acting was spot on, and I was seriously disturbed. I couldnt imagine what it was that made Molly react like that. Giovanni pulled her out of the room, shushing and cooing at her as she struggled and kept crying. As they left, the camera didnt move, and the music had faded. It stayed at the exact angle for another few minutes. I don't actually know how long, but I couldnt skip forward, even though I tried. Actually, I couldnt view a preview of the video when I hovered my mouse over the bar at the bottom like I usually can. I could move the mouse over the line and see it was still playing, though. I tried to pause it, but for some reason it couldnt pause anymore. I decided since nothing was happening, I could just pull out my phone and text my friend about it.

I told them about all that I had seen so far, and they told me it might have been an original storyline that was just way too dark. Then I asked them why it was sent to me. They said they didnt know. I set my phone down, and looked back up at the computer, then froze.

Because I was staring at my phone, I missed it, but there was a clip of Sylvie on the ground. It was a sprite that was unlike his usual slouch/laying down sprite. This was about the time I knew something really fucked up was going on.

The ball of yarn had lodged itself into sylvie's eye. I could see the glass had broken, and the yarn ball was seriously deep in his face. Glass stuck out of his eye socket and his cheek, and blood dripped down his face, pooling down the sides. His head was also tipped back a little, and with the blood seeping into his hair and up his head, the back of his head must've split open, too. There was a dragging mark down the wall, and the origin point was a huge red splatter where he probably got thrown into the wall.

The sprite wasn't static like they normally are. Sylvie shivered and his chest would rise and fall with his shaky breath. I was honestly grossed out by how far this had gone, but it was like I couldnt stop watching. I knew it wouldnt pause anyway. I was too scared to message my friend, because I thought it might change again.

It might have gone on for another minute, just Sylvie breathing and bleeding, until he just stopped. There was no sudden flail, no cough or sputter, he just stopped breathing, and there was no more shuddering. After he stopped, it only took a few seconds for things to start happening. The flames started up again, like they did when he used nightmare fuel on molly, and the fire alarm went off. It cut right to Mera panicking about the fire alarm, and hitting indus with a crowbar.

I was so jarred by how this became normal again, I actually didnt believe it had happened for a second. I didnt believe they would just... kill a character like that. I didnt know what was going on.

Things didnt stay the same though. Before Mera could even find the amulet, Molly and Giovanni ran into the room. Molly looked shocked to the core, and Giovanni was really panicky. Mera made Indus apprehend them both. Indus went on his whole spiel about barriers, but Giovanni and Molly never finished the punchline. He did eventually trap them, and Mera found the amulet. She admired it, and put it on. As she walked towards Molly, Giovanni tried to escape his containment to stop her, but Molly actually looked more panicked when he called out to her. Mera extended her hand, and lifted Molly up.

The sound cut out for the next few moments, but you could tell a really awful noise alerted all 4 of them, and it must have been loud, because the screen shook. The camera panned over to the entrance, which had been blocked by rubble. The roof caved in, trapping everyone inside of he storage area. The sound returned, and there was audio of molly crying, but her sprite wasn't matched up to that audio. It moved as if she was speaking, and characters would reply, but her crying would be playing over it.

The room filled with white fire, and the fluid animation that usually appears at the end of arcs began. Mera, Indus, Giovanni, and Molly were all silhouetted by the fire, but the focus was on a figure that walked through the flames. It was obviously Sylvie. As he was illuminated though, you could see he was different. It was as if he had been grayscale. His skin was white, the clouds and decoration on his coat and pants that would have been teal were all dark gray, and everything else was varying shades of gray. His hoodie and his glasses, however, were red. One eye was red with a black sclera, and drooped. The other was pure black, and the glass of the glasses were cracked. Blood dripped from that eye, and from his mouth. The back of his hair was adorned with a ring of red.

You remember how I said there was audio of Molly crying overlapping everything else? When sylvie appeared, it stopped for just a second, and then grew more panicked. It was loud enough to drown everything out, and I couldnt hear what anyone else was saying. Molly just sobbed and screamed. There wasn't even any music, just that. Sylvie didnt say anything. He just stood as the flames grew closer to the four.

Indus shouted something, then ran at Sylvie. Before he could reach him, there was a spark of red dust, and he stopped. The back of his head exploded, and he fell forward. Another track of molly crying began playing over the current one. Mera looked around for a quick escape, but I guess she just got too panicked, and she ran right into the flame. She fell down in it, and i could see her silhouette burning and clawing at her skin, which was flaking off in the fire. Yet another track of molly screaming and crying played over the two, and it was beginning to get discordant.

Giovanni brandished his soul slugger doom back, taking a step back. His eyes filled with tears, watching as Sylvie approached. His grip on the bat tightened and it shook as an extension of himself. Giovanni let go of the bat and fell to the floor on his knees.

All the tracks of Molly crying cut off as Sylvie reached down, and picked up the bat. Giovanni bowed his head, and Sylvie threw the bat to Molly. Her eyes full of tears and her gaze averted, she picked up the bat and swung it down hard over Giovanni's head. There were a few frames where the bat collided with the back of his head, but then the screen went black. The audio continued to play. I didnt catch a lot of what was happening, because I began to feel this awful pain in my neck that caught my attention.

At first, it wasnt very specific. It was just an ache at the very top of my spine, like I'd been sitting funny. I heard molly crying again, and crackling fire. Then the pain got worse, and there were police sirens. The last thing I really heard clearly was percival reporting something to her radio, about being at the scene and finding the body of "an adolescent boy" in the museum, which I assumed to be Sylvie. The pain became unbearable - it was like someone was driving a nail into the base of by neck. I closed my eyes. I couldnt see the video anymore, anyway. As I focused on the feeling, I realized it was becoming more specific. My breathing cut short, and at first I thought I was having a panic attack, but it became more apparent that there was a pressure on my neck, like a hand squeezing my throat harder and harder, nails digging into my skin.

I lurched forward and turned my computer off. Once it was off, the feeling vanished, leaving a small ache in my throat. I coughed and wheezed, and the actual panic attack began to set in. I turned my swivel chair, expecting to see someone behind me, since it felt distinctly like I had been choked, but nobody was there. I grabbed my phone and fell onto the couch, hiding under a blanket as I fell deeper into a panic attack.

Once I was calm (or once it was over, anyway), I messages my friend and told them about what happened. They didnt actually believe any of it, and they thought I had been pranking them. I swore up and down that it was real, and I still do, but they demanded proof. So I had to turn my computer back on.

I got the courage to turn it on again about half an hour later. The file was no longer open, because the program closed when I turned my computer off. I tried to open it again, but I got an error box titled "Oops! An error has occured", and the box read "you weren't supposed to see this." When I checked the email again to download it and send it to my friend, I'd gotten a response from Lptnmjngaeprkfl that just read "sorry. That wasnt for you. Don't watch it again okay? I'm so sorry." No matter how many times I tried to message Lptnmjngaeprkfl I never got a response, and every time i downloaded the .mov file, it wouldnt open. If i tried to send it to my friend, it would crash my phone or computer, and the message would never send.

To this day, I'm still not really sure what I saw. I kind of wondered if it was possible for some other people to contact the creator and see if they would respond. I got my friend to message them, but they didnt respond at all. I'm hoping they respond to someone. Please, message lptnmjngaeprkfl@gmail.com and tell me what you find out.

[rqs902]

.

This is the strangest and most 隨便 and least emotional ranking reveal ever

What is xikan's weird pink streaked hair

You know it makes no sense for xzx to make it in when cxh is #23 and they're literally the same person except for his connection to gjm... CMON CXH TOTALLY KNOWS ITS RIGGED LOOK AT HIS FACE

so did akey only make it in bc 20boy or did youku add him into top 14 just so it wouldnt look weird for xzx to be the only unexpected one

Wait did we get to see them eat hotpot together or am I forgetting something

Aw all of zlj's group came together except zhan yu bc tyger lol

Ofcourse ycw could get emotional lol

That was a weird transition straight into a shot of douzi lol

Also can we talk about how awkward zry and xzx are on stage LOLLL actually when I think about it, in comparison, ycw being as comfortable as he is on stage is pretty impressive.

Also gz's voice sounds nice! But also theres some weird audio stuff going on with the live and recorded voices not lining up LOL awkward.

Im just watching this perf being like why this song.....

LOL SBR'S MILK TEA SHOP

wait so people who didnt make it in ep 1 just dont exist to this show LOL rip

LOL LI HAOS FACE when syh is talking hahahahhhahahahahha

Lol this second group just standing on stage all bored of waiting lol

Omg lin mos voice

Wat just happened to him lol

Ooof lin rans voice is so fitting ahhhh

So why are they still singing covers during the finale lol

Lol why am I so amused that lin mos interaction with the girl was basically no interaction LOL

Lol feels like they're not singing live

Lin mo has lost a lot of weight

PLEASE LET LIN RAN CENTER PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HE NEEEEEEDS THISSSSSS

Please please please please please omg this can be it, this can be a lyj moment!!!

LOL WHY DO THEY GET MULTIPLE VOTES lol wasting everyone's time making things over dramatic

I'm sorry I love ycw but lin ran neeeeeeeds this

OMGOMGOGMGOMGMGNGMG YESSSSSSSSSS LIN RAN CENTERRRRRR

Lol they look out of sync and they don't seem to be singing live either?

Man this isnt as satisfying as I thought itd be bc the center doesnt stand out very much?? He doesnt even get a particularly nice outfit.... the camera is also not particularly focusing on him....

This song is okay but why is xzx suddenly a vocal

看我的手段!!!!!!! Tyger!!!!!

Tbh this perf looks messy and the outfits and staging are so mediocre??? This is so far from what I imagined a finale stage to look like.

The top 14 is missing a strong vocal like ZHAN YU lol... even renyu when dancing doesnt sound particularly strong :/

Lol ylq and cyc sitting together lol

Ay Jin fan and zhan yu!!!!!

Gz and zlj are both really good dancers and maybe I'm just biased but I feel like the other group did better, just had more strength? Their friendship is cute tho hahaha

Omg hwx and lm imitating them IM DED

I'm not super perturbed who gets center bc I dont think itll really matter for these kids, they're ranked so safe. But hoping itll be xikan just bc I love xikan :')

Xikan and zuo ye repping IP ayyyy

AY XIKAN but c'mon if it wasnt, it wouldn't make much sense. plus youku owes him LOL

Xse rap a bit messy

But this song and stage is so much more high quality designed than lin ran's smh

Lol did zlj just say "booty" wat

Lol did lin mo mess up

Im just so happy they actually LOOK good, and even tho the prerecorded is so overbearing at least lin mos voice sounds nice on it LOL

When zlj is in a group of strong performers like this, you really notice how much he gets buried...

LUO ZHENGGGGGGG OMGGGG HE LOOKS SO MATURE WTFFFFF I'm so happy he came, what real friendship :')

Lol ycw's mom would be here lol

Awwww luo jie.....

Aww dxy and lxk first meeting and cyc and ycw wow such warm beginnings

Aw Jin fan and sbh friendshipp

LOL LI HAO RIPPING THE CAMERA OFF THE WALL

Ylq crying like a ycw lol

Ayy I hear lin mo cheers :')

Lol they added shoulder pads to their uniforms, is this ytzm style lol

I would not be surprised if star master paid for 2 tygers to make it into the top 14 lol

aw akey's crying.... I'm happy for him, doing so much better this time around. He deserves to have more recognition for all he does

Lol ycw isnt crying??? Loljk and even cyc aw

LIN RANNNNN aw hes crying too... and xue en

Aw gz reminding us that hes really just a smol child inside.

Lin mo's been through all of this before so hes trying really hard to be strong. Ofcourse youku is suppressing his votes to put him at the edge to add drama ugh this is the type of thing that would happen to lin mo.... literally he deserves to be so safe pls

Hwx also just a child inside aw

lol I'm sorry this is supposed to be so emotiona but hwx's foundation is such a weird shade lol actually zuo ye's is too LOL

I'm grateful for the extra xue en footage? Lol seems random but hes so handsome darn

Omg is xikan teaching a bunch of moms how to dance eiei

I love tygers

Omg LI HAO THIS VCR ENDING IS TOP QUALITY HAHAHHHAA

Singapore broooooos

Ofcourse li hao yet again delivering us the eng subs lol

Oh gosh seeing lin mo sing this type of song with this look of sadness reminds me too strongly of the qcyn finale. Oh gosh the hair, the gaze, it's such a punch to the gut

Wow these kids look so uninvested LOOOOLLL but also I'm surprised they let all them back on stage for this and not the theme song?

Oscar comforting a distraught lin ran omg can we pls talk about this

Hm how did they do this part distribution lol

Literally youku keeps using junrong for his voice but gives him no recognition ugh

The crowd cheering for xikan yus

Oh I notice enyu's hair is styled like a wave oo

Why is Jin Fan's hair such a strange color

Lol ycw would be completely ruined

Aw lin mo's little smile at the end of his words

Youku is really bent on making this the longest finale ever lol...... another song???? With everyone??? Uhhh and obviously some people's mics aren't on??? I'm so confused what is happening why cant I hear some of their voices lol

LOL LI HAO RUNNING INYO ENYU HAHAHA

This is really dragging things out lol I'm just doing work while watching bc no ones got time for this much unnecessary build up..... good thing all my meetings are in the afternoon today lol

At least they kinda highlighted xikan more in that last montage... finally

Ugh why did renyu get 6th. I think it means it's over for lin ran. You know I'm not surprised but also I still cant believe youku did this. What a disaster.... I knew I'd be disappointed by these results :( im literally shaking my head.

the rest is gonna be lxk zlj hwx zy lm gz in whatever order youku wants. Well it's over. Thanks for the quick ending to the suspense youku lol

They even had the audacity to put zry 6th.....not even 7th..... is this an insult? Theres no way. It's like they want to make it seem like he was safely at the top but theres no way.

Well I knew not to get my hopes up, gotta be ready for disappointment lol.... lm hasn't been announced yet at #3..... lol is this what star master had to pay to get akey in top 14? Pulling lin mo down. Well I feel like this is gonna be a damper on his career bc the media wont care how high you ranked before, but only where you rank at the end. And the ranking becomes how the media defines you.

How tf would lin mo go from 3rd to 7th wtf. Theres no way. He literally has one of the largest fan bases lol this makes zero sense. Way to play with someone's career for the sake of your dumb drama youku

Why is stanning lin mo always like this...... ugh he always gets stepped on and mistreated

I'm sure hes disappointed, hes supposed to be higher and everyone knows. Theres a reason the fans were demanding 高位, not just debut

Also rip lin ran sigh I'm so sad for lin ran too.... what will lin ran do now... he was so close this time :( is he gonna have to do this again?

and the kid has been so distraught for the better half of this 4 hour show.... you can tell how much this really means to him and how desperate he is and how empty and completely ruined he’ll feel when he realizes hes lost. tbh i dont think renyu would’ve felt that destroyed. but youku is here to destroy lin ran. 

I knew youku would disappoint me

THANK YOU AT LEAST XIKAN IS CENTER. If anything, he shouldn't be so emotional bc he shouldn't have needed to be so worried. He so safely has the largest fanbase, but youku just didnt make it easy for him. The main reason why he has doubt in himself is because of youku, and it's sad bc he deserve to feel safe, he shouldn't have to feel so insecure.

Me still smh to see renyu on the other side and lin ran stuck in the back.

Lol the right side of the debut group (the public's picks) vs the left side (youku's picks)....

Lol SKY could be worse

Lol feels like youku just being like let's pick a random english word

Okay but really, I just really want to know what lin ran will do next

I have zero hopes youku will actually manage this group well. Let's look at new storm or blackace lol

Like we all knew this lineup would happen but it doesnt make me any less sad or disappointed

Welp at least it's over now. Time to continue doing my work lol

renyu makes nice songs

but that doesnt mean he fits in a boy band better than lin ran 

i dont think ill ever get over this

[conordakidd]

BCT

I’m en route to Fort Benning and I guess it’s a good time to write down everything that happened at Basic Combat Training (BCT). On my first attempt I tried writing everything that happened from the very first day of leaving and realized that a large percentage of it wasn’t interesting and it was taking too much time. So I guess I’ll just condense it and try to jot down the important stuff.

So after waiting , delays at the airport and more waiting I arrived at Fort Jackson and taken to Reception which is a certain place on the base for incoming recruits where we were assigned to dormitories and given our PT uniform and camelbacks. The first five days we woke up super early -around 0330/0400- and proceeded to get shots, uniforms and our first buzz cut. Most of the time we would march around in groups getting issued gear and then at certain parts of the day go to the DFAC for food. It wasn’t really that hot where we were and I was like hey, It’s not that bad. Finally we were done with Reception and boarded a bus with all our issued stuff in a laundry bag that we carried onto the bus and our duffel that was stowed onto another truck. A drill sergeant was on the bus, started screaming at us to put our head into our laundry bag when we sat down and to shut up. You are thinking a million thoughts with the first one being, what is going on? All of a sudden you pull up,the drill sergeant starts screaming at you to get off with your bag and you run down this long street with everybody in your face yelling at you and it is complete pandemonium as everybody is trying to get down the street. The drill sergeants were completely on you foreverything you did wrong. And it was like the entire Red phase where they were on top of you and all sorts of rules were enforced. It definitely sucked in the sense that you got treated like a dumbass 18 year old -which there were plenty of- and had to dumb stuff like run to a place right after lunch and get a pinecone and bring it back. We dove into things pretty quick, probably one of the first few days at basic we picked up the remaining gear we needed and couldn’t bring from reception such as IOTV (bulletproof vest) MOPP gear (chemical top and bottom) rucksack and got issued a gas mask that we would have to carry on us for FTX (Field Training Exercises ( {Anvil,Hammer, Forge} ) and daily training. In our company, which I was in Charlie 3-60th, we split into four platoons in alphabetical order and I wound up in 3rd platoon with “R”. We originally had 3 Drill Sergeants assigned to the daily management of our platoon, SDS Connelango, DS Deck and DS Allen. Connelango was a Ranger who was making his way up the NCO (Non-Commissioned Officer) pipeline and would leave less than halfway to take a First Sergeant position, Deck was a Sergeant First Class and was originally was Infantry/Ranger and DS Allen, well to be honest I don’t know much about her since she changed platoons in about the first week but she seemed nice. Our platoon was about 50/50 guys and girls, the majority 18-22 who were doing National Guard or trying to do this as a 20 year career. It definitely was a different dynamic having a lot of girls because it definitely changes the mindset or thought process of why you are going into the military. I never expected to meet someone in the service, and still dont, which delayed me from committing 3.5 years to the military. But it definitely changes things as it goes to being “this is your job.focus.” To social hour mindset which people noticeably followed victim to.

Week 1

First week was a rough introduction to basic. The first three days consisted of endless correction training aka getting “smoked” where you did all these exercises in a row that at times went on for more than an hour. PT which was something different all together, began at 0530 lasted about 1 hour depending on the activity, and would rotate between pull-up exercises on a bar to running on a track. You have to do all these cool exercises like the prone row where you had lie prone on your bellyand push your hands back before the main event exercises of pull-ups or running. If it was a running day good lord. That meant you were doing the stretches on a black track with topographical features. Others would call it a parking lot with rubble and a major depression in it blocked off, but #perspective .

We didn’t take a shower the first night we were there which definitely made me worried and very sweaty, but we eventually got to shower and privileges to the laundry machine which made an interesting time when all we had was sweaty gear. I didn’t think it was fun, maybe other people did I didnt. we got our gear and got tutorials on how to install it and put it all together. I’m terrible with small basic technical stuff like putting together an army bed so it definitely was a struggle and a lot of peer review from the people next to me. We got our gear set and it was ready to go.

Week 2

The second week we pretty much dove into things, which I guess is to be expected with a program that has only 9/10 weeks in it. First we went to the Gas Chamber which was a about 2 miles from barracks with a ruck and some weight on our back. We learned some fundamentals about a chemical attack and what not to do and then went into a gas chamber that had CS gas on the room with our gas mask. Mine really didn’t seal all the way or was too large because the moment I stepped in starting messing with my eyes just a little but there wasn’t really anything I could do about it. We did some exercises once we got into the chamber including wallsits and foot fires where you jumped up and down just trying to get some cardio going. We ended up taking off our mask for a couple seconds and immediately you could barely breath, the gas filling up your lungs and making your eyes tear. You had to wait in line to get out and it took a couple minutes outside with fresh air for everything to get back to normal. Everybody was like o yeah that was so easy but I personally thought it was challenging.

Next that weekend was Victory Tower which was this giant fortress looking contraption that had all these ropes and walls that you shimmied up and down in various manners and eventually did one of those rappel type things down a wooden wall. All of it was doable and everybody had to do as a graduation requirement, it was the waiting, anticipation and waiting in line that made it anxiety inducing. You would laugh and be like really if you saw the Tower but it becomes bigger and harder from below the longer you wait and then you realize it wasn’t that bad or bad at all it was the buildup or thinking that made it that much worse.

The last thing we did worth mentioning that week was Fit to Win, which was an obstacle course. It wasn’t that far from battalion so we had to walk there with our rucksacks and it looked like it was about to rain and to me, rain=cool so I was hoping and praying that it was going to rain and it would be somewhat of an interesting walk. Let me tell you this. When it looks like it’s going to rain in South Carolina it’s not. I take that back but there’s a 90% chance that the sun is going to break through and it’s going to be fucking hot. That’s exactly what happened that day where we covered our rucksacks with the tarp we brought and then maybe 30 minutes after we put it down the sun started to come through and try to murder us with intensive UV rays for the entire day. The obstacle course wasn’t bad it had kind of what you would expect to a elementary school to have. Monkey bars where I popped something in my shoulder, a waking balance beam, a cargo net and some other little obstacles that made it vaguely interesting to go through. And again, it was hot.

Week 3

It was either week 3 or week 4 things started to get a little more psychologically challenging. It really wasn’t the activities that started to get to me but the heat and being stuck with a group of people talking in formation about things that either you didn’t care for or didn’t want to talk about and realizing that there was a nice chunk of time at basic. Someone actually made a countdown timer in SECONDS of when graduation was gonna happen. Things like I just didn’t want to hear. But it was finally time to embark on our first Field Training Exercise (FTX) “The Hammer”. Basically we would march 5 miles with a rucksack & M4 to a campsite, dig what would amount to a liveable hole in the ground, and basically practiced simulations of drills we would later conduct. We were in a shaded area most of the time so it really wasn’t that bad. At night, everybody else’s drill sergeants would fuck with them by making them amounted to stop drop and roll type drills😬. Our platoon was let’s just say in flux as our Senior Drill Sergeant got promoted, DS Deck and DS Allen were on “training leave” for a week and a half and DS Shimer who would eventually be our DS had all of 1 day underneath his belt. So all night long we just chilled, some of us with the anticipation of getting fucked with. We didn’t and probably should of just went to bed. When you went to get water in the middle of the night all you heard in the distance was all the stop/drop commands and you were like ooooh. In the real early part of the morning they got us up and smoked us all. I was the back dogging it because I was hungry and I was like can we stop this dumb shit and all of sudden the DS comes starts yelling behind me so I’m like ooh maybe I should start planking for real but apparently she was going after this girl who was like crumpling next me and I was just like ooh the sight and sounds of basic.

Additionally, we started to go to the ranges with our M4 and started to zero our weapons “on ironsights”. Zeroing is the process of aligning your weapon to shoot straight and “on ironsights” is the method of optics your going to aim. Theres a straight tip at the end of your weapon that you used and try to get a straight shot. There’s a lot of corrections and feedback that comes through the whole process and it’s a long day of just shooting and trying to get a weapon that you know is aiming straight on qualification day. It was a super frustrating process there was a limited of time and instruction and you were just thrown in the fire. At the range it was definitely anxiety inducting that I wasn’t gonna get it. But what bothered most was not really having a way to fix it. Because we were a big class, the majority of us didn’t get individualized attention and it wasn’t like we could go on YouTube or call a pro in to help ourselves. In a lot of ways, we were at the mercy at our level of preparation coming in or just good luck.

Week 4

Week 4 picked up pretty much where it ended, trying to zero+group for our M4. This week tho we spent one day at LOMA Range which had actual targets 300 meters away instead of the shooting at pieces of papers that had a super small target in the middle and was proportional sized to represent 300 meters. While I had my hopes up that I would finally zero as this was allegedly easier, I was still super worried that it wasn’t gonna happen. I didn’t know or remember all of the techniques they were talking about and it wasn’t like I was really being helped. O well. On my first attempt it was still a mess and didn’t zero. It was a good range though in terms of shade and temperature and I was trying to pry tips from drill sergeants, so things were working in my favor and I was trying to make it happen. The problem though was that every round of shooting was followed by a 2-3 hour break as other people went to shoot. It was insanely frustrating and not a good feeling. The waiting and sucking wasn’t a good combination. Finally, on the second round I finally zeroed. The coach I had gave me some useful corrections and I somehow managed to get it together. It was a relief because this would be the hardest section of shooting and to get it off my shoulders was big. The second thing we did that of importance was prequalify on ironsights were we went to a range where little signs popped up and we shot them from three different positions. The prone supported, where we lied on our stomach and had the weapon resting on sandbags for 20 shots, the prone unsupported where we lied on our stomach and shot with a sandbag on the magazine for 10 shots and the kneeling where we took a knee and shot for 10. The whole idea behind prequalify was to determine the position you would go during qualifying, even though it didn’t really matter as everybody was going to go, just the people most likely to qualify first would get it out of the way. I didn’t do as bad as I thought I was going to but still didnt qualify. I even had to suffer through a smoke session a very hot one I might add where we had to point, squat down with the weapon still pointing straight and then get in the prone over and over again but I wasn’t worried as I was before. I had a little more breathing room and had a lot of time to qualify.

Week 5

This was the week of qualifying and the anxiety -whether real or imagined- was back. Qualifying would entail going to a range and having to hit targets at different distances 300,250,200,150,100 and 50 and would pop up at different times, sometimes two at a times. Same deal as pre-qual, but this time it counted in order to check the graduation requirement list of qualifying on a M4. It was a long day and to make a long boring story it played out pretty much like the zeroing process went. Didn’t make it-anxiety-waiting-anxiety-last go around make it. It was a good feeling and while the range broke down on the last time I went, and I probably got passed through on a technical error, it still felt good to get it done. After that, we attached a giant scope on top of the M4 called a CCO and began to zero on that later in the week. A CCO is different than ironsights in the sense that it aimed with a red dot in middle and the whole purpose of zeroing was to make sure that that red dot was aligned correctly. Even for me this was not a problem as all you had to do was point the red dot straight and you would hit the target. Instead of being stressed out about making it through, my partner discussed Lamar Jackson and how he was doing in the NFL. It felt good to finally to have non stress day.

Week 6

Week 6 was were it started picking up as we well past being halfway done and there stuff in our immediate future that I didn’t want to do. First there was prequalification and qualification on CCO’s which I’m not going to bore anybody with and “The Anvil” which to me was the hardest thing we did as a platoon. It was three days and two nights and it’s was basically a longer version of “the hammer” but this time our Drill Sergeants straight up smoked us at the most random times of the night and had us doing high crawls and low crawls (look it up, it sucks) on both Asphalt and sand. The MRE’s that I was getting to eat were not filling me up and I was operating on straight will, as I was soo hungry. We had to do land navigation the last full day of the FTX and I was in straight zombie-mail it in mode as I was hungry and in no mood or condition to be a explorer at that very moment. Where there is a will there is way. And actually, on our way to land navigation this young looking guy in a drill sergeants uniform starts yelling at us as we (perhaps just me) are trekking on water and maybe an energy bar and we are like who is this guy. It turns out it’s our new Drill Sergeant Vork whose taglinw through basic who would be “ Cheese + Rice” whenever somebody did something ridiculous. Interesting guy. But I got through it and somehow made it back to the CTA in one piece. Uncomfortable but I did it.

Things got really fun but at the same time really hot. It was early October but the sun was still beaming. The week before we got a preview for our FTX that it was going to be 98 at The ANvil and while It wasn’t that hot for it, Week 7 was definitely hotter so it was inthe 90’s at the very least. We had two events on the calendar for the week as usual being Buddy Team Live Fire and Omaha, both of which turned out to be really fun and totally worth sitting in the heat (at times) for. Buddy Team Live Fire was essentially a quick 2v2 paintball in your neighbors backyard with 🌲 ‘s, some barrels, a mini Bunker with rocks and we were shooting with specialized ammo that exploded upon impact and generally left a black and blue . Offense would start out on patrol and take fire from an dug defense team and the whole point was to practice the cover/fire drills we did on the FTX, just now simulated with actual fire. It didn’t go as smoothly when I went on offense as one of the people on defense failed to retreat so my partner basically surrounded her and then we opened fire and then when we were on defense my opponent’s cover was this skinny tree with no branches and I was behind this giant cement wall just waiting and let’s just say I won that battle as well 🤣.

Omaha was basically the structured version of Buddy Team as you were practicing covering and moving but this time there moving targets instead of people, your were using real ammo and had to follow a strict protocol of movement while lying in the prone being behind small wooden walls. Basically you covered your partner by returning fire, he moved up and then started firing, and then at that point you got up and moved to the next stage. There was some stuff to remember as you always had to have your weapon on safe as you ran and there were proper routes and positions to take, but for the most part it was pretty simple. At the very end you got to throw a grenade and then duck and take cover. It was pretty fun and glad to complete a graduation requirement without a hitch or stress.

Week 8

Week 8 was the week of the big Kahuna, the granddaddy of em all, the Mountain 🏔 of Mountains, “The Forge”. I’m not completely positive of what the Forge was intended to be other than a culminating event which I don’t know 🤷‍♂️ what that even means but it was the last graduation requirement and probably viewed as the hardest. We were going to do our night programs/exercises at night and sleep for part of the day which ended up making a lot of sense because of the level of conditioning/exercise involved. We left the first day at around mmm I want to say 330 in the morning and did a 10 mile rucks with breaks in then middle to campsite where made our Hastings, ate breakfast and I took a little nap to get some rest. We did some FTX’s which were awful as they were FTX’s and I really wasn’t interested in doing them. After that, we got ready for the Night Interval Course (NIC) where we were going to low crawl underneath barbed wire with a machine gun firing above us. While it turned out not to be that bad, as I just low crawled the entire way it had gotten a lot of hype and seemed to be really tough. We had heard the M240B going off during the Hammer 🔨 and that thing was loud. So after a really quick walk we get there and have to wait for a decent while, and then finally we start moving. We walk along this fence for a while where we end up at the entrance of an obstacle course which we ended up going through in the darkness of night. It finally came to an end after just lowing through a tonnage of sand and you come out to this area after running through dark foliage and there’s all these IOTV vests laid out and second platoon who had finished the course just before us. We put on the vests, line up and are lead to this trench where we line up and there’s no official start to NIC, people just start climbing the wall after they hear machine gun fire. After climbing the wall and low crawling 💯 meters in which I see nothing but sand and barbed wire, I emerge from the pit. It’s a crazy metabolic workout as you go 100 meters under barbed wire as fast as you can with a 20lb weight vest and all your tactical gear. While everybody wants the first night to be over, it’s not. We have to team carry a 175lb (it said it was that heavy, it wasn’t but it still was heavy) two boxes and water jugs 2 miles to our next campsite. It was a struggle to say the least. But we finally get there and we just go to 🛌. Over the next two days it followed that same routine of doing FTX in the mid dayish and then doing our traveling with our boxes. We did combatives, pugle stick fighting, relay races and other stuff during the night which finally culminated in a soldier ceremony where we got our berets and removed this blue patch on our left ocp top with the “US ARMY” patch showing that barring us doing something really dumb between then and graduation 👩‍🎓 we were going to be soldiers.

Week 9&10

After the Forge, there was a massive drop in activity and intensity. There wasn’t really more for us to do or requirements to get so we ended up doing a whole lot of nothing. We unceremoniously handed in our M4’s (not like I expected a little bugle boy to accompany us when we did but still) and 6.49 lbs of weight that had to accompany us practically everywhere was gone. The day before graduation, one of the DS makes us all grab sand bags and start doing workouts and running back and forth to the cattle gate with it in our ha. Tough.At the very end of my time at basic, my parents showed up for Family Day and Graduation and it was nice to see them. We went out to dinner, among other things and begrudgingly had to go to in my ASU uniform, which was my nice dress gear that made use wear for graduation. On the last day we spent the entire day and I mean the entire day packing and cleaning and then got rounded up on to coach buses headed to all our perspective places.

I don’t have a romantic view of BCT because the whole experience was butt, BUT you felt like you did something to earn that US Patch. Funny way to put it because I was constantly being accused of not doing anything by 18 year girls. (Untrue)

By the time I finished this, I am no longer en route to Fort Benning but rather in my second week at Fort Benning waiting to “class up” trying to get into a class. So many people, not enough slots. Gotta work on my pushups. And sit-ups. Working on land navigation and trying not to completely get lost when the time comes. also excuse the run on sentences, and punctuation etc. written on iPhone notes while on the go. Let’s gooo