#but i mean if anyone's feeling generous i ain't gonna stop you lol

[oacest]

i cant believe you calling i hope i think i know horrifying... one of the best oasis songs ever

horrifying in content not execution, by which i mean it is emotionally chilling, by which i mean it is The most pathologically noel(tm) song in existence, by which i mean im obsessed with it lmao. it so utterly exemplifies his me-against-the-world egoism/insecurity it almost defies belief. you can just imagine him furiously scribbling the words in a hungover stressed out rage and the idea of it being written for/at any particular person is just 😬😬😬

The future is mine and it's no disgrace 'Cause in the end the past means nothing / The future is mine and it's your disgrace 'Cause in the end your life means nothing

this perfect little snapshot of his whole life philosophy of "well that [wonderful/confusing/deeply traumatising] thing[/person] happened in the past and i will now be Moving On and literally never thinking of it again :)" which from a reasonably healthy person might be admirable radical acceptance but from him is umm. well. lol.

You tell me I'm free, then you tie me down And from my chains I think it's a pity What did it cost you to wear my crown? You don't like me, why don't you admit it?

the extremes of his inability to ever be really emotionally engaged or vulnerable with anyone, the fear of being Known, the general defensive distrust of everyone on the planet, the way he (probably correctly, at this stage of things) diagnoses people getting close to him as trying to control and take advantage of him,,,, all the things he's said about both meg and sara using him for PR..... his incessant undermining and railroading of liam in creative contexts, his tyrannical control over oasis in general.... it's a really beautiful example of how he's So insular and private about his internal life while simultaneously putting himself on CONSTANT EXCRUCIATING PUBLIC BLAST lmao. like girl how.

i could truly quote all the lyrics bc they're all a LOT but post-bhn also being the era where liam was just starting to get quietly paranoid and suspicious about noel plotting to break up with him oasis and go solo....

I feel a little down today And I ain't got much to say But you're gonna miss me when I'm not there You know I don't care

like do i think noel wrote that at/about liam? not necessarily, no, but if LIAM (noted all-noel's-songs-are-about-me truther, believer in music-as-cosmic-communication) thought or even suspected so, that is painfully sad to imagine!!!

and not to mention just on a general visceral whiplash level, it coming on the tracklist right after stand by me, and sounding soooo peppy and fun, you get halfway through it bopping along and then actually stop and listen to it and it's just like. 😶💔 oh.

[hajihiko]

if you got to choose, what would the despair disease look like for each of the dr2 survivors? (other than akane who we already saw)

i really like when ppl makes hajimes that he has zero filter for his bitchy thoughts, or unnaturally happy (bc boys self esteem is nonexistent :(

ooh fun! Ok

I thought it would be sort of oppositesies, based on Akane, but then it kinda sorta wasn't? But I'm basing it a little bit on that, or at least stuff that would be jarring for them specifically

Hajime: agreed on Happy Disease. I think I saw someone illustrate that once? Just like, not getting anything done because everything is so nice, totally complacent, smiling so much it hurts and his eyes water. Youd think it's nice but it's like, bordering on hysteria? He actually looks ... not super content.

Souda: Maybe like, Fearless Disease? Kinda turns into a big jerk, mocks everyone else for being worried, keeps trying to off on his own to find the killer or Monokuma because he ain't scare of no bear! Bring it on! Kind of scary almost??

Fuyuhiko: Ok so his primary function is Anger but anger is like a secondary emotion or whatever.... maybe Trusting Disease? I feel like that falls a bit into Ibuki's territory though. He's also very dedicated though, maybe like, Flippant? Like changes his mind about everything at the drop of a dime. Probably annoying if hes like "I'm gonna stay inside. ..... CHANGED MY MIND I'm outside now". (Or "I'm gonna try to be nice and friendly from now on... CHANGED MY MIND taste my blade")

Sonia: I feel like Sonia is the hardest because she doesnt have like a primary feature besides being Nice.... Bitch Disease?? 😂😂 just SUPER mean to everyone. (So ... Hiyoko Disease lmao) I bet she could cut deep if she wanted to. Maybe she'd even like, pit people against each other?? Since she's kind of team "Everyone stop fighting 😣😣" ??

(here I accidentally got too deep into this scenario and it turned into a canon divergence lol oops)

I feel like if this, Sonia and Souda would be a very explosive combination and probably be need to kept apart from one another. Hajime isn't really any danger to anyone by himself, only if the killer got to him and manipulated him, but everyone can really feel how hard it is to do investigations and trials without him. Fuyuhiko *is* a danger to himself (when isn't he) and just needs supervision and someone patient. Might also be a little dangerous on and off but thankfully he's too loopy to actually plan anything.

I'm also imagining who would be sort of, in charge... Last time it was Hajime Fuyuhiko and Mikan, Mikan is still around so she can still be the Nurse and taking care of everyone, but Nekomaru and Peko (who would generally be taking care of their respective people) are gone. So??

Would Chiaki volunteer to stay behind in the hospital? Idk why she didn't the first time, it seems like sth she'd do. Nagito probably shouldn't be around a disease of any kind, so he's out. That leaves Gundham, Hiyoko, Akane and Ibuki (assuming we're leaving Akane out)... out of all of them, I feel like Akane or Gundham would volunteer. Prrrroooobably Gundham? Bc we're mixing it up and because he might think he's immune to diseases of this world or whatever.

Ok so Gundham, Chiaki and Mikan are at the hospital!

Ok so in this case maybe this is when we switch to Nagito POV? Hajime can't die yet, we need him, he's too plot relevant. If this is the same happening but different people, I think it's only fitting that Mikan gets the same disease and ends up being the killer, only because I feel like Remnant Memories trump every other motivation and need to be established as Super Dangerous.

(EDIT:) WAIT OMG Chiaki was never a remnant but what if.... Remnant!Gundham.... especially if Sonia was introduced sooner a a love interest, and Souda, the heartbreak, that could be scary too aaaaaa I already posted tho

Fuyuhiko dying would be a narratively bad choice considering his two death scares so far, but also kind of hilarious (I've mentioned before, since he was SUPPOSED to die at the hospital, how funny it would be to have him finally croak at that point; but it IS narratively Not Good). So he and Hajime are safe (yay)

what if. Remnant!Mikan manages to manipulate Sonia and Souda to go after each other, either of them kills the other, and the killer is executed. Since Mikan didn't actually kill anyone, she lives. What would happen then?? The remember disease goes away eventually, but would her memories of the whole disease ordeal? What if they just had a full on Remnant in their midst (I dont think that's how it would work, since Akane got better, but what if Mikan at least remembered manipulating the murders?)

I think it could be interesting, anyway. Oops! This went far lol

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

https://twitter.com/yvesaintbarbie/status/1715803267903750578?t=ZxGUlt1XM7xNXBAKJAvWGw&s=19

No one even knows her and here pjms in your asks thinking she's giving hints lmao. Like imagine thinking jm would ever date such an immature person who goes around giving some"hints" of their relationship like damn how old are those anons? Don't they feel embarrassed. If jm ever dates someone the person would never do this that's just immature and childish bro and ain't no way jm is gonna date someone who's this immature. Like even if me a nobody would have been dating jm then even i wouldn't be this immature and insecure who wants to go around giving some hints these anons were talking about. Honestly embarassing to think y'all think he would date someone such childish.

When you know how much jm respects his own privacy and doesn't reveal anything he don't want to why would you ever think his supposed partner would do anything like this? 😭😭 Giving hints to whom and for what? If you're dating jm one would know how to be private lol

Yes to everything. That's the main reason it didn't make sense to me.

The other thing is how they jumped to living together lmao. It's not like they took their "evidence" and said wait they might be dating. No, they literally skipped all that and said it was confirmed they are living together. It was so over the top for no reason.

Just in general, the way this whole rumour was framed like "they're living together and she's been sending hints" is so.. fictional. I don't care about debunking or whatever, because I really don't mind if he's dating or not. But as I've said a lot of times, I'm going to need more than this weird rumour that doesn't even make sense with the type of person Jimin has proved to be all these years. I don't think anyone who loves and respects you would purposefully do something that goes against what's important to you. In any case make, they could've said it seems like she's been posting without realizing what it could mean or whatever, not that she's "giving hints".

All of Jimin's "dating" rumours have always been started by taekookers or tae/kook akgaes, that's why nobody ever knows about them and they aren't even credible. Also notice how they were going around Jimin blogs sending the same copypasted ask about how it's been "confirmed" the days leading up to Jimin's birthday and then it literally died? They stopped trying after his birthday, they wanted it to stick because they thought people would be talking about that and not his birthday.

[a-tale-of-legends]

Okay since I did Wally, it makes sense I would do Blue. Gonna try and keep it shorter than Wally:s lol. Blue's dynamic with the other rivals!

Silver: Little bro # 1. Next to Beryl, Blue pretty much understood Silver the most in his you get years, and because of that he became this mentor/older brother figure to Silvs. Next to the dragon den, Viridian gym became a safe space for Silver to just hang out, though his definition of hanging out is battling lol. Silver had to deal with the love saga that was Red and Blue and will constantly rip at them for it ( Blue would then mention something about Kenji and that gets Silver to shut up).

Wally: The Bestie ( next to his sisters and Red). How did these two become such close friends despite seemingly contrasting personalities? Blue would give you a long backstory as to how the two met and thus became friends. Wally would shrug and say " The fuck I know. But I am grateful to be his friend :)"( note: Blue did not teach Wally to swear. That was Green). The balance each other off really well tbh. Blue had gone full Karen for Wally once, me thinks. Blue has been concerned with Wally's desire for strength at the cost of bonding with his pokemon, but he ( and others) addressed it with him at some point. Wally and his pokemon are doing better for it! Wally, in turn,let's Blue just rant to him about his frustrations- gym stuff, Red, family stuff, his own goals in life...the man was very conflicted in what he wanted to do in life. These two consider each other their best friend, and I will die on this hill.

Barry: This one is hard since I don't know exactly how they would meet? The best I can think of is in b2w2 during the pwt, if Danica invited Barry along as a plus one. But even then, I'm not entirely sure about how blue perceives him. I do think he appreciates the energy and enthusiasm! Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if he saw him as another rival( of course Red and Green are his #1 rivals, and no one can top that). I can totally see the banter between these two being wild ( Blue seems to be the type to playfully egg Barry on).

Bianca: Being the grandson of the esteemed Prof. Oak and having your older sister eventually take the mantel of pokemon professor means that you- Blue - by proxy is always In The Know of the whozawhatsit in the pokemon scientific sphere. So,by proxy, he knew Bianca before officially meeting her. Daisy said that she's a sweet girl, and when meeting her ( thanks to Cheren) , he can say she is really sweet. Though he also appreciates the snark in her. Blue would say he's not too deep into the pokemon professor stuff ( he's not one in my au, but he dabbles into it here and there), but Bianca can and will sight the long conversations they would have about whatever sciencey pokemon topic that comes to mind. He ain't slick.

Cheren: So basically it went like this.

Literally anyone: Oh hey, I heard that Unova has a new normal type gym leader.

Blue, a "normal" type gym leader: Oh?

Literally anyone: Yeah, apparently he helped fight off Team Plasma two years ago.

Blue, who had encounters with his own regions evil team: Oh???

Literally anyone: Mhm. He used to be friends with the guy who stopped them, but that guy disappeared one day-

Blue, who is honestly still healing from everything, including Red just up and leaving: Oh you don't say?!

So basically Cheren is Little Bro # 2. He loves teasing him. It took a while for Cheren to really reciprocate( Blue was kinda Too Much, especially given his general, well, Blueness), but now they're really good friends! Much like Bianca, blue has had long conversations about pokemon and stuff ( which includes trauma and feelings of inadequacy).

Hugh: Another hard one, but probably like Barry. Appreciates the vigor, the drive, etc. Gonna look at pokemas for this one.

Okay time for rapid fire stuff cause this is getting long again.

Kalos rivals: Sorry to group them together :(. Blue knew about them before meeting them for the same reasons stated in Bianca's part. Shauna and him are always in contact due to the Chosen business, but Shauna has encouraged his Dramatic Bitch behavior lol. Sees a bit of Wally in Trevor, and likes talking to him about the Pokedex. Isn't super big on contests, but his sister( Daisy) would partake in them, so he would catch Tierno in a few here and there.

Alola rivals: His KIDS!!! Living in Alola means he sees them often, and once again became yet another mentor figure for them. This was at a point where Blue has become his most mature self, still classic Blue, but less likely to egg someone on for a response unless it's actually needed. He genuinely loves seeing them hang out together and enjoy life, as well as battling as they see fit. He gets really sappy around them lol. Gladion and Ames ( not a rival, oc) call him Old Man. In SM he's only 21 lmao.

Galar rivals: Have not met them properly I think. He had heard about Hop from Leon when he- Leon - was champion. He also probably tuned into the Galar gym challenge and watched everything about it, so he knows about Bede and Marnie from there. If I ever have them medy properly, I think Hop and Bede would be Little Bro #3 and 4. Marnie would be Little Sis # 1 ( Green is Blue's actual little sister in my au, so she doesn't count).

And yeah. That was long. Again. Ah well.

[minty-marshmallow]

Physical 100: S2: Ep 7

Ah, Yami's technique is great! While the others are kicking with both feet at once, he's moving faster by alternating and basically just moving it along like walking.

Not to be funny but they really look like monkeys. I mean that nicely though, like not in a bad way. It's really neck and neck though omg!

Uh oh, looks like the comeback team is gonna lose this round. Omg, that sucks that the thing got stuck. I'm glad everyone is fair about it though and are going to let them redo it. I think that's one thing all these athletes have in common, they don't want to win because of a faulty situation. They then feel like they didn't really earn their win.

Oh no, he got too fast and slipped! I just feel so bad for this team in general omg! How did Won Hee push it so far! This is wild! Oh, they won second place. Wow, this almost puts everyone on a level playing field right? I mean it really just comes down to this last round. Bruh, I'm so anxious watching lol. It's funny because I don't have a favorite like I don't really care who wins haha but I'm still so nervous for them.

Aww, Won Hee's face though, he's so worried. "It's not over until it's over", I like that quote. So it's Amotti, Won Hee, and that other guy. Let's so who wins this thing. Yes, everyone wants to come in first lol that's their only surefire way to survive right now.

Ah, I'm so afraid someone is gonna fall again! Over here biting my nails bruh! OMG IT'S NECK AND NECK! AH IS SOMEONE GONNA FALL!? *I just sighed relief lol from holding my breath haha* I really thought Amotti was going to fall. This means Won Hee's team is eliminated though. That's so sad. I mean I know someone was going to be eliminated because that's the game but I would be sad with any of them losing. [I wonder if he really fell or if they did that for the show, but Won Hee really does seem exhausted though] I'm even more sad that he didn't finish it.

Man, having to smash it in front of everyone is tough. I'm glad they let them say some words before leaving though.

"I figured it would be a real struggle." You sir are correct. Bro, how you gonna forget to get the cart on the track first? Well, this took an interesting turn. I wonder who is going to lose, the big guy is strong but not good stamina. OMG I'M BITING MY NAILS AGAIN LOL! Like bro this is so intense how you gonna stop 10 steps away!!??

Oh hearing Jae Yoon speak English is shocking, I didn't know he knew English. [I just looked it up apparently he's Canadian..I didn't even know lol]

Ah, work smarter not harder lol pushing them and making all the wheels come off the tracks just gives you more work. Splitting it up, I don't think that's the best idea. Well, it wasn't a good idea. It needed to be in one go or you were gonna lose. Woah, what a turn of events. Basically almost anyone's game now.

Wow, he really turned it around. I'm surprised. Now it's just down to if everyone is going to tie or not and the other two teams are neck and neck. They did that shit for show...ain't no way they both fell like that. Especially when he was almost at the end and hadn't been struggling at all. [I forgot this show was rigged lol]

[malicemismanager]

Hey look you can share kofi goals directly now! And surprisingly it did not take me two months to find out this time. 😂

[retphienix]

I Have A Lot To Say So I'll Read More This.

The short of it?

I'm glad I played Joker- I played it because I wanted to know how DQM evolved when it reached the DS and I got my answer.

It's mediocre. Not bad exactly, I enjoyed playing it, it adds some REALLY appreciated features to the DQM series and if you were playing it at release it had online play which plays well with the post game content which I haven't touched by the time I wrote this:

-but there are some engine/console specific things that made it a drag and there are some parts of the game that are just weaker than the previous games which is amusing since the previous games were simple GBC titles.

And finally, I don't really recommend playing through Joker 1. Can't speak on the sequels, but Joker 1 was a pretty middling experience for me so I'm the wrong person to get a positive recommendation from.

And since the opportunity presents itself: If you like monster RPGs and haven't tried it- go emulate Dragon Warrior Monsters 2 for the GBC, it's really good and also if you emulate you can fast forward the GBC era grind if that's your taste- really a win all around.

On to my rambling:

I debated on writing, rewriting, rewriting, and better presenting my thoughts on this game and the series as a whole but nah, Joker ain't getting that, I'm ramblin'- lol

I will split it slightly between "The ending" and "The game as a whole" though.

Ending:

1:07 - This is slightly a 'game a a whole' thing but honestly it's funny to me that you unlock a permanent repel in this game by doing the main quest. I entered this dungeon feeling strong enough to beat the game, so I just avoided 90% of encounters entirely.

5:00 - I genuinely got a laugh out of Sparkpug's whole deal in this finale. Not story wise, that's fine, no complaints- I mean that Sparkpug is clearly built to be a monster that can carry an ineffective team. He's clearly meant to be bred a few times and a god tier member of a potentially inexperienced player's team- but I literally never used him after the intro.

So during this scene it's supposed to be like "I'm a demi-god monster, you can't possibly beat me" and I'm thinking "Dude, you're like level 10 and shit tier, you can't win, this is hilarious."

Obviously it's a real boss fight and not 'face the monster you once had' but I was having fun roasting him behind the scenes of this recording.

45:00 - What an entirely unexpected change of pace.

Like, I had it spoiled for me by a screenshot that Dr. Snap becomes a monster or something- but I thought maybe he was always a monster or something, and also I got a bad look at him.

HE TURNS INTO A BODY HORROR BEAST, THAT'S NUTS.

Genuinely a highlight of the game.

52:00 - I fucking laughed what a meaningless exchange where the payoff is saying "He was stupid!", it's honestly just silly and dumb but not necessarily bad just dumb lol

55:00 - Not a great 'you won' victory lap. Like at all. Kinda feels like they should have just made this all a cutscene where I appear back at town and see that Solitaire is the leader now etc etc.

I kinda don't understand why it's a victory lap at all? Because all anyone says is "They picked a weird successor to Snap >:(" or "Snap went to the island? I bet he was stopping the calamity :)"

If you have 2 lines of dialogue prepared, maybe don't make a victory lap???

1:00:00 - What a fucking stupid payoff lol

Like sincerely, Solitaire does NOTHING the entire game! She's meaningless from start to finish! And the 'surprise' is that she's the new commish??? And she got the position because she's a rich spoiled brat??? Like LITERALLY that's why????????

What a stupid fucking ending lol

Now her proposed evolution of the contest is fair enough, I mean it's childish as hell, but to be fair- more contests is a fine idea especially since prior games and this game demonstrated the public's interest in watching monster fights. And the goal being to fight her as the final fight is fucking egotistical and stupid- BUT- it does play into the fact that the player didn't get to fight her the whole game so it's whatever?

1:03:00 - This is both the best and worst lol.

This game has no story, like at all, it's fucking empty front to back, and only explodes with like- 1 event at the very end.

This moment is a montage of memorable moments with your 'best friend' Sparkpug. It's cinematically very nice to be honest! Even includes a moment I don't remember at the arena which probably didn't happen lol.

So visually it's cool- I dig seeing the camera zoom out as we run across the beach, and the flashback moments intersplice over us making our way to the scout memorial- that's very well done.

The content is empty lol

As I said there's no story, these moments are nothing lol

And that's that.

All said the ending was a very nice challenge to face with my team- I had to abuse items like mad but I MADE IT! It was a GOOD fight.

The rest I've already said.

On to the game as a whole:

I have issues with this game, but there's good too. It's really like 4 steps forward 6-7 steps back it's weird, it's really weird.

Positives are neat!

> First and foremost- TRAITS!

Monsters in Dragon Quest Monsters have always had a problem with keeping their identity for long. The way I'd explain it to an outsider to the series is that Monsters DO have special stat variance and intended movesets and all that jazz- but the breeding system completely and entirely destroys that relatively early into the game.

While a monster might normally have really high defense and low other stats while knowing buffing magic- breeding, EVEN UNINTENTIONALLY, will have that same monster come out with 9 billion attack and all ice magic.

Monsters in DQM have a habit of becoming canvases for the breeding effects rather than their own mons- and this is undeniably a downside. It makes the game feel unique, it doesn't 'hurt' it, but when by mid-game monsters are more easily identified as sprites rather than strengths and weaknesses or even types (family) it's a slight downer on the series.

Traits fix this a lot by making every specific monster have unchangeable traits which offer things like "immunity to x type of damage" or "higher crit chance"- it's small, but it gives each monster more identity.

> Second and secondmost- SKILLS!

The older games didn't use trees, it used each individual spell as a potential pass on during breeding.

Each monster could have 8 spells, and when you breed two monsters you pass on all 16 spells to the offspring (they don't learn them all at once, they learn them as they level up) as well as the natural spells the monster would learn by level up.

So in the older games it is really easy to end up with a refined and overpowered list of 8 spells on each of your monsters.

Now spells are tied to Skill trees and your monsters can have 3 skill trees total (which are passed on as OPTIONS when breeding).

All to say skills do a lot for removing the "Master of all, weakness of none" spell lists that the older games made trivial to make, now you have to limit your builds and be more specialized- also they added skills like "Attack up" to add more variance to a build- instead of having spells you might just have high stat buffs as skill trees.

Overall I think Skills are an improvement because coupled with Traits it makes each monster feel much more specialized and unique and less like a sprite with no identity.

> Breeding is improved.

This is very much because of skills and traits- again- but also the system is just improved in general. Instead of being told "That's a monster you haven't had before!" and judging your decisions based on the name of the offspring breed, now you get to see a small sprite of the resulting monster to help you decide- ALSO instead of getting 1 result for every combo (to the point where you have to back out and choose Monster A + Monster B and Monster B + Monster A as separate options), you now get up to 3 results to pick between for every breeding opportunity.

It's just better.

> The engine is impressive.

At least to me. This is a DS title using (from what I read) a rework of the DQ8 PS2 game's engine- it certainly looks like it.

Combat models are nice, using moves looks nice, overworld exploration looks nice- it looks nice.

Now for some negative and general nonsense- all of which is more often than not 'weird'.

> I gotta be unfair and say "The Story" first and foremost.

DQM 1 and 2 are not intense story games. They aren't.

But they both knew how to handle their story well for what they wanted to tell, I can and will praise both for their narratives because they know what they are and do it well.

DQM:J does not. It's fucking bad.

Basically: The overall story doesn't exist- you're told to be a spy, but that comes up 1 time towards the end of the game and LITERALLY doesn't matter at any other moment INCLUDING the one time it comes up.

You have NO meaningful objective from the start up until near the end of the game. You show up and have no goal- so you get told to get some crystals with no meaning behind it (not even a lie because they are clearly evil- not even a lie to motivate you! NO MEANING IS PRESENTED! JUST DO IT! TO DO THE CONTEST I GUESS! WHY? SHUT UP!)

So 90% of the game time you're not doing anything meaningful. So what about the islands? Any small narratives to keep things moving?

NO!

NOT AT ALL!

So you go 90% of the game having no real objective, just kinda wandering forward mindlessly- and then the game suddenly goes "Oh! Guy who seemed sus! He's evil! He's gonna unleash the calamity that you were 'kinda but not directly' working towards with your dog! You know, that plot point that's kept vague and paid 0% attention to the entire game? Yeah it's happening! Aaaaand you're done! GG!"

Basically there's just nothing going on in this game, it's all background noise until the last 10% of the game. And that's lame.

DQM1 had a light story- but from the very intro cutscene you have a clear objective which makes every action you do seem relevant as you are working towards that goal.

From the start of the game you know "My sister is gone! The king says a magic wish can get her back! I'll go do that!" and then you do!

DQM2 has a much better story!

You have a goal from the start (The kingdom is physically dying and you have to save it by getting a new plug!) AND it has stories for each world you visit!

THAT'S MILES BETTER! THIS GAME COULD HAVE DONE THAT FOR THE ISLANDS!

Anywho. Story is lacking and empty and lame especially when DQM2 has a similar format but does every part better- you have a clear objective you're working towards AND side stories to keep the light narrative moving!

WTH!

The spy plotline doesn't matter! It could have been used to build suspicion on who's the good guy!

The islands are so empty of story!

DQM2 has a fun mix on how a rival character works which makes every world interesting to see how they get involved!

This game has a rival that does NOTHING!!!!!!!!!

It's just such a step back from the previous games, it's weird to see DQM 1 land a solid simple story and DQM 2 build a great format to expand the story going forward- and then DQM:J just slams its head into the dirt and wipes out.

> Game's slow.

The engine switch is a good thing overall, but it makes combat slower (a lot), adds loading screens to combat (primarily), and they didn't bother speeding up the grind from previous games.

Because of the grind still existing which isn't a problem in and of itself- the game becomes SLOW AS HELL because the engine makes that grind take longer.

Also world exploration is slow which is to be expected when moving from 2d to 3d, but this is countered by adding things to the world to find or do- and Joker tries but it's still noticeable. The world exploration isn't a problem, it just stands out alongside the combat being slow as hell.

The engine change was a great thing- but it feels like they should have put more work into speeding up combat to counter the slowdown of load times and flashy animations.

A GOOD WAY TO FIX THAT MIGHT BE XP!

> Music ain't great in my opinion.

DQ has amazing music. This game has some weak renditions in my opinion. The CELL HQ theme song is a pretty good poster child for the worst there is, but just in general even the better music is lacking compared to the chiptunes of the GBC or the better mixes of the main series.

Maybe it's unfair, it's a DS game, I don't know, I just know I ended up just muting most of the game because it didn't sound great. I played the GBC games OSTs instead for a large portion of my playthrough. I listened to videos instead for the bulk of the game.

It's just not pleasant to me, sorry to say.

> XP!!!!!!!

I'm being a spoiled ass on this but yeah!

XP SUCKS IN THIS!

There aren't good placed to grind until you beat the game! (apparently)

The first level blatantly has too low xp which makes you grind before you can tackle the boss of the island- and the late game has you mindlessly grinding low xp rewards in order to be ready to face the final boss.

It's WEIRD!

Why is it so low!

> Tech is weird!

I could ramble on this alone but here's the short version:

DQ has a unique fantasy world aesthetic that each game has explored in its own way. It's basically "swords, magic, monsters, and charm- things feel light but aren't afraid to get scary sometimes :)"

This game... doesn't.

This game has fuckin' tech watches, jet skis, TOWER PCS????

This ISN'T dragon quest on a world building level.

It's like, contemporary modern world but with slimes.

And that could be good I guess, but it feels so fucking weird to see PCs right alongside swords and axes and a dracky.

Like... why?

It's a poor aesthetic according to my tastes. Maybe I'm an ass for that. The tech is weird.

All to say, in a poor rambling "I gotta get this out of me" kinda way, is Joker was fine.

I enjoyed breeding. I enjoyed seeing the engine. I enjoyed the unique additions like a 'hero monster'.

But I also had to grind mindlessly on a slower game.

I had to endure a story that forgot to show up until the very end.

I sat there thinking about replaying the older ones the whole time.

It was fine.

It's mediocre.

I'm glad I played it.

I'm done now :)

[tslasvegas]

Episode 10: “I ain't gettin fooled a third time.” - Jeff

Darn it. That vote hurt. I mean it's a game, and there's only one winner, but Steph and I had a great time the last time we played, and we played well here too. But our Final 2 tag hurt us. I mean, yes, we had that agreement, but it hurt us. I had to vote her, as there was no other way forward. Even if I used my Steal a Vote, it would not have been enough. Good thing Kailyn spoke up after the vote, so they know it was her who voted with Steph and not me. Hopefully that lessens me as a target. How does Ben have so many advantages. He will be out to win immunity next for sure.

I am actually really sad that we voted Stephanie out. I think there were better options but I guess it had to happen. It’s interesting that is spread so rapidly to everyone else in the game. I didn’t speak to really anyone and yet everyone knew what was happening. There’s definitely some connections going on that I’m unaware of. But also! One step closer to making it to single digits! I just have to survive two more tribals and I’m officially a flop no more! With the Super Idol, technically I can be “voted out” once before leaving the game, if Liv still decides to play it on me. So I’m feeling pretty good about my chances moving forward. The meninist group is a solid 5 I think. That’s almost half the tribe remaining. At this point, I really don’t think there’s a path for me to actually win the game. Unless I take control and start some big moves right away. But we will see. 

Okay so it's been a while, and there's a lot to unpack. Merging: In regards to the merge itself, I have very mixed feelings about how the people in the merge are, and how things generally shook out in regards to the tribe divisions. Getting sent in with an instant 7-3-3 should, in normal circumstances, be pretty damning in how an early merge goes. People have a tendency to play safe, lay low, and just ride out the game a little bit before really going for anything. As far as the people we merged with that I had not met yet: Jaiden - Really cool guy, I spend all day talking to him, shooting the shit, just having a good time. Easily top 3 people this season for me. I want to go far with him. Xavier - Kinda neutral on him. I speak to him sometimes, but the conversations do not really have much in the way of depth to him. John - Meh. Doesn't speak a ton, just kind of minding his own business. Kailyn - Doesn't speak to me much at all. We've exchanged a couple of messages, but nothing too substantial. Whatever I guess. Ben - Literally refuses to speak to me. Not sure what his deal is or why he acts the way he does, but whatever I guess. So as a basic assessment, pre F13 tribal, the people I feel best about are Jake, Jaiden, Keegan, and Joey. These are the ones that I should be able to trust, that should be able to get me farther into the game. I feel with this that I'm in a better spot than I was in my previous 2 seasons, because I seem to have alleviated the issue of only having real connections to people on "my side". In Svalbard I was very isolated with Nathan/Rachael/John, and got burnt because the rest didn't want to play with me anymore. In Finland, it felt like more of a dice roll really, but I never got going with Tom/Drew/Bodhi/Zoe, so I was the first to get burnt because my connections just weren't good enough. But now, I should have the means to protect myself on both sides, and make it farther based on that. First tribal comes around, Palazzo has numbers, things should be simple. Ben doesn't talk to people, no one has a problem if he were to get sent home. Easy enough. Andrew makes people a bit wary, but its first tribal, he's not causing any particular harm, and we can deal with that issue later. But then Andrew slips up, he tells Jake that Keegan is the one pushing his name. I'm not sure why he did this, but he did. I confirm with Jake that it was actually Andrew that threw his name out first, but Keegan and I shifted it on to Ben. Whatever, mess is made, but no one says anything, vote should still be Ben. Get to tribal.... Andrew, 9-4. Not one, not two, but three people flip on us at the first tribal, sending Andrew home, and blindsiding myself, Pat, and Stephanie. With this, we're clearly on the outs, and Keegan/Liv/Joey blatantly lied to us. We confront them about it. Get some stories of, "weren't sure how people were feeling, didn't want anything to go wrong with the vote. Andrew was causing problems". Like yeah, okay, I know that that happened, but I had already expressed to both Keegan and Joey that I had strong reservations about how Andrew was approaching the game, and didn't want to have him be in long. I didn't think he's go right away, but clearly I was alright with the idea, yet they let me out. Fool me once, shame on you. Next time, okay votes gonna be simple. No one likes Ben, he doesn't talk to anyone, he just ignores me, he's gonna go home. Fine, everyone's happy. Well of course, we get to tribal, and he plays SWOP. I knew something was up, the way he was acting just wasn't right. Andrew said he was a good player, and I knew something was up when he was just giving up and having needless outbursts. Not the type of play that you'd expect from a "good player". So okay, we go back to OG Palazzo chat. Everyone says "lets vote John". Okay fine. Pat and I get to talking, because we're both close with Jaiden and Jake, and entertain the idea of voting Steph. Figure that we can get ahead of the curve because Palazzo is a mess, set ourselves up for the future. Pat can't change his vote cause he already casted, oops. I vote and play an extra vote because I thought a tie could be risked because I can't count. Vote goes 10-2 on Steph. Yet again, Joey, Keegan, and Liv opted to not say a word about anything to Pat and I. They don't care about us. They expect us to just do what they say, go along with whatever story they tell us before bed, but I ain't havin it anymore. Fool me twice, shame on me. I ain't gettin fooled a third time. These fuckers ain't gonna walk all over us and act like we ain't actual players. If they don't want to work with us, tell us anything, then I don't need them. I'll go with Jaiden and Jake, who are much more fun to talk to anyway, and curbstomp all of them. People already took Rachael from me, I ain't lettin them get any more W's on me. 

Stephanie is gone! I can't believe I made it through that cracked ass tribal council, but I used the limited information Ben was providing to me to my advantage. The moment Ben told me what was going on, I swooped to Keegan and John and told them to prepare for the worst - tbh I thought he was going to have an idol or something and we would need to throw votes elsewhere. I think Keegan was the one who said he thought Ben's got a safety without power from his statements and it made so much sense to me. When it came time to scramble, obviously I didn't wanna be the first person to throw a name out there, but once the opportunity presented itself I tossed Stephanie's name out and it basically caught on like wildfire. I told Joey first, then the Meninist alliance chat. There definitely was some push back at first from Keegan, which I'll get to in a bit, as well as I think Livingston a little bit. Then it just caught on FIRE. Suddenly Stephanie's name was going through everything it felt like and every single person was down for Stephanie. For a minute there was a brief insurgence of John names, but I think me throwing Stephanie's name out first was the best thing to happen because once a name was out there, it basically ignited the power keg and there was no way to stop it. I think it could've gone the other way had John's name gone out first tbh... It is just such a relief to have some sort of affirmation that my targets are going home. I feel a lot stronger now than ever before, almost like allowing Andrew to go over Ben last round is giving me an edge like I've never had before. Tbh as much as I dislike Ben as a player, I do kinda hate this circlejerk kind of group hate for the guy because I don't think he's done anything so bad that it makes him a bad person... maybe not the kind of guy I'd associate with in real life... but I'm sure he's chill outside of this. I also don't wanna come across like on this moral high ground where I'm better than anybody because I definitely talk a lot of shit about everyone else, but as somebody who was in the same shoes as him once, I can empathize with how it feels right now. I can empathize because when I played Tumblr Survivor starting out I definitely was really messy for the fun of it and it slowly started to become un-fun when everyone made it their mission to kinda be shitty to me. I don't know what Ben's goal is here and I'm not a specialist trying to diagnose him, but... yeah. I just feel bad that he's being dogpiled by all of us with hateful attitudes is all. ANYWAYS, back to something that matters - me! I finally survived the dreaded second tribal council of the merge. I've already beaten that part from India, now I just need to make it past the next two votes and I've made it to my first goal - single digits!! I know that I'm competing with a lot of people for single digits right now lol but I hope that people wise up and start taking care of the real threats in the game, namely Livingston, John, Kailyn, and Joey. Getting a dark round, I think this is the best thing we could've asked for because like I said before, I think Keegan was holding himself back from really pushing his agenda. I think Keegan is aware how big of a threat John is in these games, so if I can sort of use Keegan's mistrust in John against him, I might be able to swing for a much bigger target this coming round - Livingston. I kinda feel like Livingston is REALLY well-connected on this tribe, he's basically best friends with everyone from Jake to Joey to Keegan to Pat. If I want to free some of those bigger names up, I really need to go for Livingston because his position is SO desirable right now. I think people are cognizant to the danger posed by those four guys, but no one is really looking at Livingston because they love him so much. If I can somehow convince John that getting rid of Livingston benefits both of us, I might take that shot. It's going to come at a huge fucking risk though, but doesn't everything when you're playing in the dark have a big risk associated with it? Then it just kinda takes getting Ben, Kailyn, and Xavier on my side as well and then the shot is literally so close I can taste it. HOWEVER! Before I start hyping myself up right now, I have to focus on what really matters to me - getting to the end. Resume building doesn't need to start at the final eleven. My biggest error in all of my past Tumblr Survivor games is that I start playing the game REALLY hard way too early. I've learned maybe a couple lessons in subtlety along the way, so planting seeds is gonna need to be the way to go. If I start saying things like, "isn't Livingston so cool? He's basically friends with everyone" and "I would like to see Livingston win if I'm not in the end, he's a really cool guy" it'll 1) be super obvious that I want to make a move against him and 2) maybe start giving people the idea that their best friend is their biggest competition in the end. Something doesn't need to happen tomorrow. It's about the long game, too. I just hope for my sake that I'm doing enough to keep my head above water. If tonight was proof of anything, it's that this game is going to get a lot more difficult. 

I can't believe that worked so perfectly. Ben does everything I tell him to do, even down to interrupting me during the challenge. He's public enemy #1, and that's another meat shield for me. Stephanie goes - truthfully I feel horrible because she is so sweet - but that's the last person who I wasn't directly aligned with. Also, the Dark Round couldn't have come at a better time. If Ben or I win immunity, I have a plan to get out another big threat. And this is one of my favorite flash games. But at this point I need to act like Ben and I aren't tight. If I make it to the end everyone is gonna hate me. Oof.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Jesse

Jac: [Okay, so it's year 2, so she would be just 18 and Jesse would be just 17, it's their last year of school and exams are looming etc etc, all the behaviour has become business as usual so everyone would've just stopped freaking out as hard because you'd wear yourself out otherwise it isn't sustainable, I'm vibing that this is around Christmas time, just because I'm cruel and then we can use the worried Xmas picture LMAO] Jesse: [I like that because then it's not that far into school year 2 aka close to uni looming but it has been ages since her and Amelia started their whole fwb bs so a mood] Jac: [I think it makes sense because it's like, a year since everything started really so it's as raw in a weird way 'cos it's like a shit anniversary lol] Jesse: [agreed, soz boy that I haven't fleshed you out enough to know what's been going in your life for this year besides fame] Jac: [you can be vague, at least, because this convo will not be about you, fill in the blanks later, not all of us are wilding all the time] Jesse: [and not all of us are oversharers like Savannah lol he'd be keeping shit to himself even if it was all kicking off] Jac: [true tea, anyway, I will start this] Jac: Hey, where are you? Jesse: [somewhere he likes to go to write and generally have privacy] Jac: Oh, okay Jac: never mind, it's cool Jesse: ? Jac: I just was gonna ask Jac: well, I don't know what I was gonna ask actually so yeah, ignore this Jesse: What's wrong? Jac: I looked and I couldn't find it Jac: but it was kind of a hole so maybe I just missed it Jac: but I was sick loads and loads I had to get off the bus so I know that's gone Jesse: hang on, what? Jac: You know Jac: I'm not a total mess Jac: I always make sure, after Jac: even if I'm super gone, I've never forgot Jesse: alright Jesse: stop talking in riddles for a sec, I dunno what you're going on about Jac: I went to this party, a week ago Jac: no Jac: more like two, fuck, three? Jac: I don't know, but anyway Jac: I remember looking for a condom in the bin on the floor in the sheets whatever Jac: and I remember because I didn't find one so it got through the haze Jac: and then when I was coming home I was sick and I'd literally just dry-swallowed my pill 'cos I keep them in my bag or my bra or whatever I've got on me Jesse: Fuck Jesse: alright, we can sort this Jac: Where do I go? is it the GP or do I have to go to one of those clinics? Jesse: I'm having a look Jesse: where are you now? Jac: I don't want to go to the doctors Jac: can they tell mum and dad Jac: it's meant to be patient confidentiality but literally everyone found out when Millie H got crabs Jesse: you don't have to do nowt you don't want Jesse: I'll figure something out Jac: I don't have no one else to ask Jac: sorry Jesse: shut up Jesse: you don't need to ask anyone else, I'll sort it Jac: I don't know why I didn't get the morning after Jac: well I do but it's so fucking stupid to say it now Jesse: you never said where you were Jac: just got out of work Jesse: I'll be there as soon as Jesse: get a ☕ Jac: I feel like all of my insides are gonna come out Jac: this is bad Jac: what the fuck am I gonna do, Jess Jesse: don't start, you'll do your own head in before owt's even happened Jac: how the fuck does this even happen Jac: it's ridiculous Jesse: [sends her whatever he's been working on like distract yourself with telling me how crap this is etc] Jac: What are you doing Jesse: what kind of question is that? Jesse: just sent you it Jac: why Jac: I don't have the time or desire to listen to that right now Jesse: are you waiting for me or what? Jac: I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know if you got the general vibe of my messages Jesse: sit down for a bit Jac: fine Jesse: It'll be alright Jesse: I know where we're going Jac: that's the first step in this marathon shitshow, I suppose Jesse: 👍 Jac: your downplay isn't really helping, just so you know Jesse: we can't both lose it, dickhead Jac: if there's a time for it, it's now Jesse: might be in a bit, not now Jac: so you're waiting for your moment, okay Jesse: that alright with you? Jac: not really Jac: but whatever, it's the least of my problems now Jesse: you're 18, they can't say nowt to ma and da that's one less Jac: oh, true Jac: thank god I waited 'til after September to ruin my life then Jac: as long as the receptionists don't catch wind Jesse: they won't give it me, as a lad case I were forcing it down some lass's throat against her will Jac: what do you mean Jesse: if I could just leg it in there for you I would Jac: obviously you can't Jac: we don't know if it's even happened Jac: or what I'm gonna do if it has Jesse: yeah Jac: you're thinking of morning after Jac: but they don't give that to blokes now either Jesse: about as much I know about this, that Jac: have much experience then Jesse: not really Jac: you'd know if you had Jac: probably wait 'til you've earnt more money to rinse you of it Jesse: sounds about right Jac: not worth the negatives at this stage Jesse: tah Jac: not me doing you a favour by not getting pregnant Jesse: obviously Jac: 🙄 Jesse: 🙄 Jac: shut up Jac: you're so annoying Jesse: 🤐 Jac: ugh Jac: you say nothing yet you still say the wrong thing Jac: it'd be a skill if it wasn't clearly the opposite Jesse: what's the right thing? Jac: If I knew that there'd be no need for you or the conversation Jesse: come on Jac: what? Jesse: you reckon I'm getting it wrong, you must have some clue what ain't Jac: I don't Jac: you're just Jac: I don't know Jesse: say it Jesse: might make you feel less shit Jac: ha Jac: wouldn't that be nice Jac: miraculous, even Jesse: 🎄🎅 Jac: I wasn't looking to be the next Mary, tah Jesse: that were Jude's role in the nativity, not yours Jac: her years seriously lacking in talent Jesse: Dunno how top we can say ours is for having me stick a tea towel on my head Jac: it's not a musical Jac: the shit film was made Jesse: could've been if they'd let me have any lines instead of that 🐑 to chuck about Jac: as damning as this glimpse into your psyche is Jac: you really think you chatting about 4 year olds singing silent night is the thing I need right now Jesse: alright, kids ain't the ideal subject Jesse: I get it Jac: no shit Jac: you all do my head in with this shit Jac: honestly, peaking at vaguely racial costuming is the saddest thing I've ever heard Jac: and my life is currently in the toilet Jesse: piss off have I peaked at owt Jesse: ain't even properly packed for my gig yet, like Jac: it's you who's bitter at being snubbed for joseph Jac: no need to read between the lines, dickhead Jesse: never said that Jesse: he was well fit and had 🥇 line delivery Jac: don't be disgusting Jac: I don't know why you even remember these things, any of you Jesse: leave it out Jac: you Jesse: it's bollocks that you're saying you don't Jac: I don't Jac: and I don't care either Jac: and if I have to spend one more minute around you chuntering on about this shit that doesn't matter and never did Jac: I'm actually going to scream Jesse: go for it Jesse: I'm here now, you can properly aim it at me Jac: [just staring him down to make a point of looking at him like #unphased 'you got an appointment?'] Jesse: [we just nodding like yep let's go but not moving because we're rushing no bitch especially not for something like this] Jac: [obviously walking in whatever direction we need to] Jesse: [love a silence that should be awkward but is actually comfortable] Jac: [for you anyway but us losing our mind be happening regardless so yeah] Jesse: [we know he is too but shh because now is not the time for you to be scared sir] Jac: [get this appointment done so you can go away and think about what you're doing] Jesse: [hit her with the feelsy JJ lean while you're waiting so she knows you care though thank you] Jac: [just getting out of there like 'I wanna go to work but I've only just left and they're shut' no place to go casually] Jesse: [he should take her somewhere feelsy even if it is because it's not, if that makes sense, like for it's normality] Jesse: [I'd suggest his work but that's unlikely to be shut unless they had that appointment at a really weird hour lol] Jesse: [somewhere she'd actually appreciate being rn is the point anyway] Jac: [we'll just go anywhere rn 'cos truly nowhere else to go] Jesse: [even if he's just driving/walking you around aimlessly, we're giving you time to think gal] Jac: [we're just scrolling furiously through our phone right now to the socials/texts from said night] Jesse: [meanwhile he's ignoring his because we blatantly have shit that we're supposed to be doing that we're obviously not] Jac: [thrusting the phone in his face casually with a picture of this dude like it means anything 'do I call him now?'] Jesse: [a look like do you want to because we don't know this dude and even if we did it's up to her if she wants to have that convo with him or not] Jac: [when you do that pause like well, elaborate please] Jesse: ['it don't need to be now' cos it really doesn't like you literally just found out and are probably in shock] Jac: [nods like okay 'so what am I doing now?' we literally just wanna be told what to do] Jesse: [we're taking her to get sugary tea and some food even if she doesn't eat or drink it, leading her there like she is a bub] Jac: [probably automatically eating and drinking without complaint we are that out of it] Jesse: [it's okay he's got enough wits about him to go somewhere where they won't run into millions of people they know because not rn thank you] Jac: [just a ball of energy because we need to do something but what can you right now] Jesse: [such a bobbing lil leg under that table, both of y'all] Jac: ['this is not-' shakes head] Jesse: [just looking at her like what because not the time either to put words in her mouth] Jac: ['this was not in my plan'] Jesse: ['do you wanna stick to the one you had or have a different crack at it?'] Jac: ['if it were that easy-' face like it'd be done and we wouldn't be sat here] Jesse: [nods and drinks that tea] Jac: ['this changes it regardless' letting that sit there and sink in] Jesse: [let it hit him how big of a deal this actually is because up until now we haven't let ourselves think about it/have been focused on the minute by minute actions of all this] Jac: ['no matter what I do'] Jesse: ['I'll be about no matter what' like love you babe always gonna be here for you 'dead comforting that, yeah?'] Jac: [scoffs 'yeah, condemning everyone to the same life sentence of an unwanted child about or the gnawing guilt of murdering it is exactly what I wanted'] Jesse: ['murder's a bit strong'] Jac: [shrugs 'not really'] Jesse: [shrugs back like if that's what you reckon] Jac: ['I know what you reckon I should do, alright'] Jesse: [a look like yeah obviously because I think you should do what's right for you] Jac: ['well it isn't that fucking simple, Jesse, so just' the hand mime that's like closing your fingers like sh] Jesse: [mimes the 🤐] Jac: ['you might not say much but you're loud with it, I know you, remember'] Jesse: [a look back like and I know you too] Jac: ['he already has some'] Jesse: [😒 because how old is this man tbh and who is he we don't stan] Jac: ['not like I knew at the time, but I've checked him out since, obviously'] Jesse: [gestures like gimme your phone so I can look] Jac: [does, he can easily be in his 20s and my vibe is a kid when he was like 17/18 and then one a few years later] Jesse: [just stalking this dude and drinking our tea, looks fun and casual but isn't] Jac: ['he has a right to know, right?' like genuinely ?] Jesse: ['Probably, but I ain't gonna force you to tell him if you don't want to'] Jac: ['you aren't going to force me to do anything, or anyone else; but morally...' shrugs 'it'd be better not to know, in loads of ways'] Jesse: ['Did he say owt to you after?' because there is that condom uncertainty so like did he wanna follow up is our question or was he not bothered] Jac: ['no, I don't know him' like duh 'I had to ask Darla his name'] Jesse: [a look like there you go then, don't worry too much about him rn because clearly he ain't worried about if he got your pregnant or not] Jac: [🙄 'obviously it's not a concern until it happens, that's kind of the point'] Jesse: [🙄 back because it is a concern before it happens for loads of people but whatever] Jac: ['is this helpful? he didn't wear a condom, that doesn't mean he doesn't wanna be or deserve to be contacted, by that rhetoric the only people who would would be the ones you didn't need to'] Jesse: ['never said it did, and I never said don't bother contacting him'] Jac: ['just because you don't vocalize it, doesn't get you out of any responsibility for implying it with what you don't, for fuck's sake, when are you gonna grow a backbone?'] Jesse: 'what I vocalised were it don't have to happen right the fuck now and it don't, take a sec for fuck's sake'] Jac: ['no because we're on a fucking timeline here, we don't have a sec!' raising our voice assumedly higher than the hushed tones we've been keeping] Jesse: [putting a hand on her arm like calm down but not a patronising calm down just like the equivalent of the JJ soft hey but not in words] Jac: ['no' and pushing his hand away but in a more calm manner not aggressively so 'the longer you delay this the worse it gets, it has to be dealt with now'] Jesse: [eye contact because we will not be fobbed off hen 'I get that but you only found out about an hour ago, like'] Jac: ['I fail to see the point in meditating on it, like' looking back obvs 'and anyway, the fact remains I still DON'T know what I'm going to do so you've got what you want there anyway'] Jesse: [a look like don't be a dickhead 'you don't reckon you might be in a bit of shock or whatever, nah?' but it's not a question cos we know you are and then a look like you can piss right off if you think this is what I want] Jac: ['and what? if I sleep on it this will be any less of a life-changing, earth-shattering shock?' shakes head like don't be stupid] Jesse: [a sigh because we don't know what to do or what to say] Jac: ['it's very sweet of you to want to fix this-' our tone suggests we think otherwise lol '-but that ain't why I called you'] Jesse: [a look like yeah no shit because we know she didn't have anyone else to call] Jac: ['I literally just need you to help me make the decision and then be there, not make me fucking okay with it, that isn't what this is'] Jesse: ['alright' genuinely we do mean it] Jac: ['thank you' big sigh] Jesse: [getting more tea for you both, it won't fix it but it is our love language] Jac: [just be having a google about all the possible things you could ever need to know for every available option] Jesse: [you too boy while you're waiting for that tea because why not] Jac: [casually terrifying ourselves lol but necessary evil 'cos yeah, can't not do this shit 'I hope you feel fucking lucky not to have a uterus'] Jesse: [nodding because we do after all this googling if we didn't before] Jac: [ah the biological unfairness of being born a girl lol] Jesse: [I hate it and all I've had to deal with are periods so] Jac: [literally being a straight girl/girl who has sex with men is lowkey mental torture like constant worry and if it does happen any outcome is bad like] Jesse: [agreed and y'all are gonna have to go home eventually and that upsets me to think about] Jac: [let us say that's hit you rn bitch 'what are we gonna...am I gonna say? I don't-' we mean speak 'cos literally tis the season lol] Jesse: [when that hits you then because again there's no right answer to this 'if you owt to be said, I can'] Jesse: [*want] Jac: ['I don't want it but-' a massive pause whilst we try to get our voice back to how it usually sounds and not straining 'cos you're about to cry 'cos we don't want that, then when you speak again it's barely audible '- how many more secrets am I expected to carry'] Jesse: [scoots his chair as close to her as he physically can because it's time for another feelsy lean that means 1. I love you 2. you can tell me anything 3. most importantly you can tell this whole fam literally anything even Jude who is a lot] Jac: [shakes head like clearly not but we don't move away] Jesse: [letting this moment happen because it's been so long for you both] Jac: [literally a year in all the senses lol] Jesse: [soz that we've done this to you lads] Jac: ['I don't think I can do any of this'] Jesse: ['you ain't got a choice, not to sit back and do nowt, I mean'] Jac: ['I know'] Jesse: [pushes her tea towards her like drink up because again it's our love language and they can't stay forever] Jac: [at least there's an excuse to go to the bathroom and filmically have a moment] Jesse: [and at least when they get home she's in the basement so he can be doing music shit  lowkey all night without it being blatant that he's checking on her] Jac: [we can skipperoo to that] Jesse: [agreed] Jac: [say that she was out of work 5 ish, say that took an hour at the least two at the most, they get home 7 ish, this is like late/early AM] Jac: Are you awake? Jesse: 👍 Jesse: [strums a note on the guitar or presses one on the keyboard like hello] Jac: I thought you were meant to be talented Jesse: where'd you hear that? Jesse: sounds like a load of bollocks Jac: Probably Jac: isn't everything on the 'gram Jesse: ✔ Jac: you'll have to come with me Jesse: Alright Jac: I just need to decide how to do it Jac: obviously I can't have it Jesse: did you work out how many weeks ago it were? Jac: three Jesse: I can give 'em a ring in a few hours, see how long you'll have to wait to get an appointment Jac: it can be up to 2 weeks Jac: that's what it says Jesse: I'll take the first one they offer us Jac: maybe that's to get it done Jac: it's all confusing Jac: and you can get the pills online and they won't prosecute you now but I still don't know how safe or fast that'll be either Jesse: soon as I can speak to someone, I'll ask whatever we ain't worked out Jac: pills have to be faster, even if they have to order them in, that's only a day or two Jac: two weeks is too long Jac: but the operation might be less scary Jac: I don't know Jesse: [sends her whatever he can find about people's actual experiences even though it's probably terrifying because the only way to really decide] Jac: I don't want to do this Jesse: I know Jac: this is why everyone does it Jac: has the kids Jac: I can't do this Jesse: can you do that though? Jac: I can't do any of this Jesse: not to be a dickhead, but you have to Jac: I know that Jesse: [playing some kind of song from their childhood whether that's a JJ or grandma Ali mood like this will comfort us while we ponder] Jesse: I dunno about waiting times for it but if you want it over and done sooner, the operation takes less time Jesse: couple of hours and you'll be back home Jac: yeah Jac: the pills can take days Jac: and you have to make sure it all comes away what if it doesn't Jac: how would I know what's too much blood Jesse: you'd have to call 'em or I would Jac: I wish they'd knock you out for the operation Jac: that's all Jesse: yeah, I get that Jac: it's punishment anyway Jac: there's no lesser it's just picking one and sticking to it Jesse: are you gonna tell anyone else, other than me and him? Jac: I don't know Jac: there's no point, I guess Jesse: might be a bit of a headfuck doing the 2nd pill at home if ma and da don't know, all I were thinking Jesse: but we could go somewhere else Jac: I don't want them to know Jac: I wish I didn't know Jesse: Alright Jac: when it's over forget you ever did Jesse: come on Jac: keep it to yourself then Jac: I don't want to talk about it Jesse: you might and I'll be about if you do Jesse: don't mean I'll be shouting about it Jac: nah Jesse: up to you, that Jac: just leave it Jesse: I heard you Jesse: I'll leave it out Jac: Good Jesse: ☕? Jac: no thanks Jac: I don't need stained teeth as well as a ruined womb Jesse: I'll pick you up a whitening kit when I go work in a bit Jac: 🙄 Jac: can't really drink tea through a straw like you can your coffee Jesse: if you're willing to look like a twat you can do owt Jesse: nobody's about to 👀 any road Jesse: I've had customers cracking on with all sorts Jac: I'd sooner be found dead in a ditch than be one of your customers Jesse: charming Jac: like it weren't obvious Jesse: never said it weren't Jesse: still a bit rude Jac: what, that I'm not a pretentious hipster that likes to pretend shit music is amazing and everyone else is too stupid to get it Jesse: that you'd rather 💀 than have a ☕ off me Jac: I don't know why you'd expect different Jesse: I never said that either Jac: then why say anything at all Jesse: 🤐 Jac: about right Jesse: 🤏 Jac: what does that even mean Jesse: it'll do Jac: whatever Jac: not as if there's any choice in the matter Jesse: what does that mean? Jac: you're annoying and you've got nothing to say Jac: that's just how it is Jesse: alright then Jac: yeah, case in point Jesse: suits you often enough that it's the case Jac: yeah, love that I hate you all Jac: it's a right laugh Jesse: for us an' all Jac: as I said, no choice in the matter Jac: just get on with it Jesse: 👍 Jac: I'll do the pills Jesse: I'll be about Jac: whatever Jesse: you've gotta have somebody with you Jac: I'm sure plenty didn't and don't Jac: if it gets to much, call an ambulance Jesse: you heard, I'll be here Jac: and I said, whatever Jesse: let me know when then Jac: 👍 Jesse: 👌 Jac: no, it's not Jesse: no shit Jac: so quit with this shit and acting like it is Jesse: you Jac: I'm not Jac: I just wanna face my time and do it Jesse: I'm getting my head round it Jac: why? Jac: what's to get, it won't be here Jesse: that's to get if nowt else Jesse: you've gotta do this Jac: so, that has nothing to do with you Jac: it's my mistake my problem Jesse: all that shit I've read ain't just going in one 👂 and out the other Jesse: and it don't have to be my mistake or problem for me to be bothered Jac: then don't get someone pregnant Jac: really welcome for the cautionary tale Jesse: tah Jac: just go away and go to bed Jesse: I ain't finished, there'll be sod all point going to bed when I am Jac: great Jesse: I'll live Jac: I don't care about you Jac: I'm trying to sleep Jesse: crack on then Jesse: I won't stop you Jac: I can't sleep when you're down here Jesse: alright, I'll piss off Jac: thank you Jesse: night Jac: yep Jac: [the next day/day after potentially] Jac: I got the pills Jac: if you're still interested Jesse: they give you the 1st one at the clinic or what? Jesse: how I read it Jac: then you know Jac: I'm gonna fake an abortion for your attention? Jac: obviously not Jesse: piss off Jac: I'm not in the mood Jesse: I'd have gone with you Jac: no need Jesse: do you need picking up now? Jac: I had a cab Jac: they make sure you aren't gonna get off in a car and crash or whatever Jesse: you home? Jac: where else Jesse: is anyone else about or what? Jac: yeah, if you didn't want to do this Jac: you should've said from the start Jac: then I wouldn't have bothered with any of this Jesse: if you'd have said you were doing it I'd be there waiting for you Jac: forget it Jac: you're more of a hindrance than a help Jesse: for not being a 🧠📖 yeah alright Jac: no, for making this remotely about you Jac: and being such a fucking pushover Jac: sometimes, you don't take no for an answer Jac: I was fucking terrified last night and you just left Jac: so fuck you, I don't need you now Jesse: you told me to leave Jac: and? Jac: I can't do this right now, Jesse Jac: I'm literally fucking killing my baby as we speak and you still wanna say you were just doing what I said, anything for an easy life Jac: you're not my problem now, I shouldn't have picked you, simple as Jesse: well you fucking did pick me Jesse: and you know why Jesse: that's about you, not me Jac: because at one point you could be fucking relied upon Jac: my mistake you're actually useless now, well great, thank you SO much Jesse: I got it wrong Jesse: I'm sorry Jac: I needed you to break through Jac: at least try, my God Jesse: I thought you needed space Jesse: I don't know Jac: I don't have enough of that Jac: it's convenient for you to all leave me alone now Jac: you don't like me, whatever Jac: I just needed you to put that aside for this Jesse: piss off, I've fucking tried for a year Jesse: I don't know how to do this with you any more, I don't know you Jac: this isn't run of the mill Jac: it's pretty special circumstances Jac: it is to me Jesse: tah for that, I hadn't realised Jesse: fucking hell Jac: can you just stop Jesse: yeah Jac: Are you gonna come home or what? Jesse: I'm on my way Jac: okay Jesse: is anyone else there or what? Jac: I think Cammie and Jameson were but I just came straight down so they didn't try to talk to me Jac: they might've gone by now Jesse: I'll come in that way Jac: I wasn't just being a bitch, by the way Jac: I bled through the pad I put on Jesse: it don't matter if you were, they'll live Jesse: do you need me to get you anything? Jac: they're used to it too Jac: I've got the painkillers Jesse: I'll just hurry up then Jac: won't be going anywhere Jesse: [we're not saying anything because we're hurrying lol] Jac: [fairplay hen] Jesse: [is gonna bring her loads of things that she could possibly want though obvs to a laughable degree] Jac: [a hot water bottle is a good idea so say you thought of that lol] Jesse: [yeah, cue montage of him giving her a comical amount of things that she lowkey doesn't want or need but there will be some useful shit in there too] Jac: [okay so just watched a quick video, and the worst is infection, sepsis as very worst, it not all coming away, or the tablets not working and this is worked out by going through more than 2 pads an hour with blood, a bad smell down there, a really high fever and the pain not being helped like at all by pain relief methods; we'll let that not happen because it is enough lol, so the basics are severe pain, cramps and blood, nausea, vomiting, diarhea, being shivery hot, you pass tissue and clots and this is meant to take 1-2 days but can last TIL YOUR NEXT PERIOD, the cramps also last about TWO WEEKS, pregnancy symptoms should ease after a couple of days, like being sick, but you can still have tender breasts for several weeks, you can't take the test to confirm the pregnancy is terminated 'til THREE WEEKS later, because the hormones stay around, you aren't allowed sex for 2 weeks BUT IF YOU DO YOU CAN GET PREGNANT IMMEDIATELY AFTER AN ABORTION but like we won't be, you're also not allowed to bath for 2 days and if you have a shower you have to have someone there in case you faint] Jac: [thought we should have this v basic rundown] Jesse: [thank god he is there and not leaving her for a bloody second because I can't even] Jac: [this is what we say when nobody WANTS an abortion hun, this is brutal, we're so rude] Jesse: [worst christmas ever] Jac: [yeah this tops last year and yours before that Amelia, not that we having a competition but hey ho] Jesse: [also thank god that we said that birthday flower drama happened and they broke up so Amelia isn't there casually like oh hey] Jac: [I was thinking if we do want her to know/be real drama, she could try to hit her up, it is Christmas lol] Jesse: [yeah that's always an option because she'll never get you pregnant hun] Jac: [oops, I meant that the other way around, did not write that properly, like Amelia tryna be a bit casual like hey don't be mad it's Xmas and then Jac could flip and it'll obviously be more than the flowers] Jesse: [well that makes sense because it's Amelia she's probably bought her a christmas gift yet again lol] Jac: [that was my vibe lol, god knows how my boo will be feelsy/rude with that] Jesse: [I was thinking she should get her another gay book that relates to their life like she did last year but like folded up inside is a portrait cos she hasn't done one of her since that one when they were like tweens] Jac: [you can find a list I bet, at least you don't know about the gay baby there isn't, that would be too close to the nose] Jesse: [blatantly like a chanel lipstick because we got the lip balm a year before, a theme so yeah leave that for the bae like you did last year] Jac: [a vibey vibe tbh, soz you do not know what you're coming into] Jac: [but yes, this is gonna be a bonding moment for you two, because it'll stop being like let's talk about it and you'll just have to do it, at least 2 days of the worst, you'll have to distract and comfort anywhich ways you can think of, probably lots of old movies and eating comforting junk, I'm just deciding if we tell JJ ourself or make Jesse rn hmm] Jesse: [I love that for you two even though it has to be in such horrible circumstances, I think he should do it because they'll blatantly still speak to her but at least she won't have to start the convo herself] Jac: [yeah, that makes sense as a moment 'cos we aren't stupid and this is gonna be suspish to all of us but at least then we can keep the other kids mainly Jude from being like HEWWO] Jesse: [yeah because Jude is the last thing we need rn no offense hen but he's literally not leaving her and even he isn't the music bit THAT much plus we said he had a show that he's just skipping which Jude would probably know so she'd be like ??! if not] Jac: [like, I'm down for mentioning that is a thing or having her come into the inbox but we don't need it to get to deathcon 5 levels, like we don't have the energy so she'd just be ignored and I won't make you self-RP] Jesse: [we know it's a thing and we know the vibe] Jac: [mhmm, like at the minute we've probably simply forgotten but we will circle back 'round when we're not quite so in traumatic shock] Jesse: [poor Jude just like why is everyone ignoring me, god bless] Jac: [lmao GIMME THAT ATTENTION, truly JJ I dunno how you tell someone to stop without giving up the info but you've gotta somehow] Jesse: [distract her somehow lads, it's nearly christmas there is shit you can do] Jac: [just going on a suspish amount of Christmas activities haha i live] Jesse: [I feel bad for you hen but like all will become clear one day] Jac: [sadly how it's gonna be]

[shslpunkartist]

I actually ain't too surprised that your Pico isn't embarrassed about wearing maid dresses. I mean, you've pretty much established he LOVES Hello Kitty (I believe he has a large custom-made Hello Kitty squishmallow Amelia gifted him awhile back along with some Hello Kitty cups and plushies he either bought himself or was gifted by one of the others), and then there are those other HCs on him also enjoying certain things that most would be considered to be "girly things" or at least not something you'd often see guys enjoy.

Hell, I think there was this one old HC - either back on CC or maybe a more recent-ish one here idek - where Pico will occasionally join in with hanging out with Olivia and Amelia and both girls sometimes pamper the guy. It was something they started doing randomly and Pico just. he was flustered as heck but he honestly loves it and couldn't bring himself to stop them. Oh, and they also painted his nails too, which Pico actually really liked cuz hey that's actually really neat huh.

OH AND ALMOST FORGOT but Core also occasionally joins in on these sessions. Both girls also sometimes pamper him as well and, like Pico, Core also loves it, his tail happily wagging all the while.

ANYWAY my point here is that anyone who has been around for a long time probably ain't gonna be surprised over your Pico not being embarrassed over wearing maid dresses or dresses in general tbh lol.

SPEAKING OF MAID DRESSES, I'd like to say that I think the only time he wouldn't be flustered with pervy simps wanting to do shit with him is if said pervy simps happen to be one of those extremely shy and easily flustered ones.

#Keith tier 3 subbed to Pico #Pico also said he'd send Darnell some pics for d oordash

Btw I know these were jokes from you but one) I wouldn't be surprised if Keith has done that and two) why can I see Pico actually doing that for doordash lmao

It's 2022. I don't make the boys feel shame when they wear skirts or dresses. ONLY when Keith does his "heheheheheh" shit do they get red cuz STOP IT YOU GREMLIN

Also nobody feels weird when having their nails painted. I'm dead about to make that canon: everyone has their nails painted with their designated color/s

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [Okay, so 'punishment' of cleaning everyone's rooms, like 1. you've been here a night, so how messy is anyone's gonna be 2. we're here for a long weekend vibe, does it need to be clean even as long as it is before you go, like? 3. you've left them alone without effectively any supervision when they being punished for canoodling, like alright lads lmao] Jimmy: What kind of bollocks paddy punishment is this? Jimmy: barely started and I've got 🚬 and 💰💰 Janis: the 'can't be arsed' variety Janis: nice Janis: only found some pocket change so far but saving the best rooms 'til last Jimmy: race you Jimmy: only need 💊 and 🥃 to have the ☠ full set Janis: alright, you're on Janis: what pills count though, important info, not agreeing if you're counting paracetamol, like Jimmy: You're the expert Janis: you what Jimmy: from 💀👑's shit stirring mouth to my ears Janis: she'll LOVE that you listen, I'm sure Jimmy: properly well trained, me Jimmy: go ahead and tweet that whenever you like, mate Janis: if you wanna make her jizz her pants, easier ways than using my feed for it Jimmy: yeah, that's TOTALLY what I want, obvs Janis: 🚬💰💊 and 🥃 first, I heard Janis: speaking of, how morally dubious is it to take Helena's meds? Jimmy: I'll keep the 🍫🍪🍬 I just found in my pockets, make it easier to fake that I'm pleased to see her Jimmy: reckon you're morally obligated to take 'em, Jesus is the only dickhead who saves Janis: 🐖 you, running through these halls Janis: I'll take 2, feeling generous, not greedy, unlike SOME Jimmy: Come get a 🍪 and save me from myself 😇🥇 Janis: if that's a nickname you wanna go with, I'll need 2, tah Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: 🐖💕 Janis: no, that's you Jimmy: I ain't the one with a 🍪 in each hand Janis: your pockets are just full, fatty Jimmy: Oi, I'm pleased to see you, Joanne Janis: not fooling me Janis: in on the secret, remember Jimmy: bit busy chucking water on Kieran's bed any road Janis: 😏 Janis: more like it Jimmy: I'll take my 🏆 full of 🥃 if you find owt Janis: I'll be SURE to let you know when I do 🤞🤞 Jimmy: you do owe me Jimmy: it were your fault it got taken off us Janis: How do you figure that? Jimmy: Who left it on top of the wardrobe for any dickhead to 👀? Janis: oh, where did you expect me to put it mid-performance? Jimmy: I wouldn't have let you sit on it if you'd left it where it were, not a kink Janis: 😂 you're DISGUSTING Jimmy: who's bed should I put this in? Jimmy: [a pic of the bra that I'm stealing from the OG convo] Janis: put it in Ben's Janis: his bird will lose her shit the hardest, be hilarious Jimmy: Which one's he? Janis: come find you and show you Janis: not actually told me what room you're in so Jimmy: do you wanna know? Janis: you mean am I having fun playing hide and seek? Jimmy: it's a valid question Janis: are you having fun then? Jimmy: Where's your answer? Janis: 🔍 Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: more fun than the bullshit activity they're all doing, no doubt Jimmy: There you go then, if you're happy, I'm happy, baby 💕 Janis: 🙄👏 Janis: screenshotted Jimmy: reckon we can do better than that if you ever find me, but alright Janis: long as it's not bragging about our crimes, can't be those idiots Jimmy: but what if our crime were fucking on 💀👑 or 💀#2 bunks? Janis: well, depending how graphic, that can definitely be posted, 'course Jimmy: only to her if it spares your 😳 Janis: Show me a point I've given a fuck Jimmy: You ain't talking to her and her receipt keeping minions, soz Janis: Exactly Jimmy: Where the fuck are you? Janis: was trying something, no cigar though Janis: you in their room then? one sec Jimmy: Go on, disappoint me, what couldn't you do? Janis: get in the teacher's rooms, they've got locks 😢 Jimmy: you can't break 'em? Hang on 💪🏆 Janis: [turns up and finds him, throwing whatever cigarettes and lighters she's found at him 'cookies, please'] Jimmy: [when he was gonna find her and vandalise the teacher's locks so they lowkey nearly bump into each other but he chucks the cookies at her before there's a #moment] Janis: [just nom-ing like there isn't a vibe, as per 'was saving their room 'til last, bet there's loads of rich girl shit'] Jimmy: [brushing a cookie crumb off her face with his thumb and then putting said thumb in his mouth to get said crumb 'gotta show me Ben's first'] Janis: [just stopping dead in your tracks for a hot sec there like you were stopping yourself running into his arm but that ain't why, nods 'he deserves it'] Jimmy: [we just walking so casually to this lad's room to fuck up his relationship lol] Janis: [soz not soz, whoever you are] Jimmy: [go and do #bragate and look through his shit lads] Janis: [the state these rooms gonna lowkey be in, so much worse than before] Jimmy: [I vote he should have some booze of some description so they have it when they go to Mia's room cos gonna be in there a while] Janis: [I concur] Jimmy: [when you shrug at her once you're done like anywhere we've missed cos should save hers til last] Janis: [points out the rooms she did so they can work out if they've missed any between 'em] Jimmy: [likewise tells her the ones he did and maybe they have missed one and there's nothing good but they can have an actual race to Mia's that she obviously wins] Janis: [😏 as we snooping with reckless abandon] Jimmy: [chucks some 🍬s at her with gold wrappers in place of a 🥇] Janis: ['you're buzzing to lose, remember' looks at the beds pointedly, then carries on going through their bags] Jimmy: [lights a 🚬 because fuck you ladies] Janis: ['what about me?' so #offended] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I didn't think you'd want one cos you're such an athlete but comes over and lights one for her, putting it in her mouth and everything cos always gotta be flirty about it] Janis: ['one ain't gonna get me as fucked as you, cute though, concern and that'] Jimmy: [makes a moment™ out of putting some of the ones they found into her pocket as well as his lighter that she was playing with before, not just a random spare and goes to lie down on the bottom bunk for a bit] Janis: [just leaves him be for a while, keeping busy over here, all casual, all fine, eventually, 'if you're going sleep, do your best to look cute so I can take some creepshots 'fore I piss off'] Jimmy: [just having his lil sulk cos he lost 'weren't the plan, that' and pats the bed beside him in his best attempt at creepy but then starts putting out all the shit he found to look through it] Janis: [best 😬 but goes over and adds her haul] Jimmy: [cracks open the booze whatever it is and takes a massive swig before passing it to her] Janis: [doing the same, throwing those two tablets out on the bed, like, offer is there 'she must be fucked up' shrugs 'decent shit'] Jimmy: [sharing everything else out like actual couple goals but leaving them cos he ain't that bitch] Janis: [when you ain't either so that's a #relief tbh] Jimmy: [lifts the pillow and puts them under cos that gal is gonna notice her meds are gone so might as well try and frame these bitches] Janis: [so into that it's not even funny lol] Jimmy: [then nudges her like which bed do you think is Mia's cos that's the one you wanna fake fuck on if you're doing only one] Janis: ['how's either of them getting up there, honestly' put gets up and peers for clues 'think this is Ella's, the PJs are negative sized, Mia wishes'] Jimmy: ['she wishes she were a top an' all'] Janis: ['so you are gay then' 😏] Jimmy: [😏 and chucks loads of 🍬🍫 up onto Ella's bed so either she'll be triggered or Mia will think they're hers and be mad or both] Janis: [gonna say you got some laxatives I'm flushing gals, along with pouring whatever expensive perfume/foundation etc down the loo, at least half of so you can't prove it 'cos it's not empty] Jimmy: [love that] Janis: [you both know you're delaying what you said you'd do though] Jimmy: [I'm literally sitting here thinking if there's a way we could let them actually hook up rn for the sheer #mood of it all without ruining everything lol] Janis: [like you could, and then pretend it didn't happen, maybe?] Jimmy: [that's what I'm thinking like if you both act like you're carried away by getting one over on Mia and drunker than you are, I just think it'd add to the weird dynamic and headfuck of it all if they did] Janis: [it's in character for her so if it is for him, we can] Jimmy: [like we know he wants to and would so as long as they both commit to acting like it didn't happen I think we can get away with it] Janis: [we doing it, gonna have to start talking if you're gonna get there though, lads] Jimmy: [lbr it'd we weirder if they didn't hook up at this point cos they always go too hard for the 'camera' and they don't have sod all clothes on yet again so they're gonna feel EVERYTHING when they're making out and dry humping all over each other, it'd literally only take something like that thing he does where he tries to say words and it comes out as a full moan to tip them over this precarious edge] Janis: [exactly, it only doesn't happen in this scenario if one of you is the type to say no for reasons or you don't actually fancy each other but you clearly do so] Jimmy: [we setting up both phones for all the angles as if you're not gonna forget about that immediately] Janis: ['least bottom bunk makes for #moodlighting, I guess'] Jimmy: ['more of a challenge to for us to break it though' because I remember in the OG convo they lowkey dismantled her bed and they should do that here because funnier] Janis: ['as long as you keep the top from squashing me with your giant head' we deffo should, a mood] Jimmy: [squishes her face like aw baby I will protect you, you small egg] Janis: [goes to smack his but as per, not actually lmao] Jimmy: [little playfight/pillow fight to get this tension going] Janis: [points if you can beat the stuffing out of these pillows] Jimmy: [you gotta lads and also leave your empty booze bottle hidden about in the hopes they get blamed for that too] Janis: [when neither of you are cool enough to party this hard, welcome for the rep boost hoes] Jimmy: [1000% living for the prospect of Mia getting in trouble with her dad though bye] Janis: [hahahahaaaaaha #disappointeddaddy] Jimmy: [that's a pisstaking # they need to use fr] Janis: [speaking of the socials, making sure there's Mia things in the background so you can start taking these shots like they bitch] Jimmy: [not actually stalling that time, it's genuinely important] Janis: [tis why we're here, currently, anyway] Jimmy: [crack on doing the most, you know you gotta go even harder than you did during the last photoshoot purely to annoy these hoes yep] Janis: [the level anything beyond making out/lovebites is unpostable, like do you need all these angles and different poses? nope but here we are] Jimmy: [like even if you just DMed them to her to ruin her ability to sleep in that bed you still don't need to go this hard lads] Janis: [could let her do the legwork lmao, we see you] Jimmy: [I love you two and your flimsy excuses so much] Janis: [hence this is so stretch] Janis: *NO Jimmy: [imagine if he'd fake dated some gal who literally only wanted to do the bare minimum] Janis: [an actual prude or the one girl that didn't fancy him] Jimmy: [he thought Janis didn't for a bit there LOL] Janis: [she got eyes honey] Jimmy: [LORD the eye contact rn don't even] Janis: [looking away when you literally cannot and ruining a shot or something neither of you actually care about but] Jimmy: [and kissing when you also cannot so your eyes get to be closed because you're not psychos] Janis: [literally running out of skin for lovebites] Jimmy: [hence you gotta hardcore make out and once you start you can't stop] Janis: [away we go] Jimmy: [this is simultaneously the best and worst idea lads, love it] Janis: [knocking those phones down 'cos do not need that in your life, even if we pretending this is that spontaneous] Jimmy: [accidentally recording their first time that they are gonna pretend didn't happen is not the one] Janis: [because Rio is your sister, purely, which is why she said no to being in the ad 'cos she thought he was being a dick and everyone else would] Jimmy: [I didn't even think about that in relation to the ad, oh boo you so smart] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [if you two have been shook by how into each other you are, just you wait until after this 🔥 first time] Janis: [have fun downplaying this lmao] Jimmy: [god it's gonna be so awkward, at least we can have a teacher show up to take them to the next activity whenever we need] Janis: [when you can't separate 'cos the image but you can tell you being more distant and actually fake] Jimmy: [the next activity was trust falls and a blindfolded assault course which I think we should still do but we should do it different by saying they aren't allowed to work together for it cos bad eggs which they would hate despite the awks cos they both have trust issues and would be shamelessly jealous of the boy and girl the other is doing it with] Jimmy: [plus it makes more sense for the next bit cos in the OG they just went back on it later when nobody else was about and like he challenged her to do it better cos she was the blindfolded one I think and that's how she twisted her ankle which led to the fake injury but if they weren't allowed to do it together then it's more logical that all that would happen] Janis: [well done boo, fully approve] Jimmy: [yeah she was all like I could do it by myself I don't need you which can still be a thing but there's even more of a vibe this way] Janis: [a mood, lord knows who you're having to do this with first time around] Jimmy: [I think she should have to do it with Ben whoever he is for the lols] Janis: [oh ben, as long as your gf doesn't think it's her bra 'cos lmao] Jimmy: [we should give him Asia since they didn't do that project together this time] Janis: [she will probably drop you god speed] Jimmy: [we should say she does so Janis has to be all #concerned which is awks after what just happened] Janis: [after #caring for him] Janis: memorize that course before you do it Janis: no chance she knows left from right Jimmy: I ain't that thick, tah, I'll make her be the one to do it Janis: revenge, right Jimmy: you're alright, in well safe hands, you Janis: yeah, his girlfriend is neurotic, had practice Jimmy: safe hands til she gets hers on you then Janis: if I have to threaten to smack her too, I will Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: just don't wanna be dropped on my arse like you Jimmy: I get it, ain't gonna be a soft landing Janis: just don't like looking like a twat Jimmy: you'll look well fit and mysterious in that blindfold, mate, TOTALLY on brand Janis: obvious kink but alright Jimmy: long as it ain't Ben's Jimmy: 🐇🔪🍳 Janis: if it is she'll be blind too tryna win back his attention, not concerned Jimmy: 👍 Janis: need some 🧊? Jimmy: can only give me the cold shoulder on your own time, Judith Janis: haha Jimmy: hang in there, baby Jimmy: 😂 so you don't 😭 Janis: be able to hide 'em behind the mask Janis: your 'look' makes sense now Jimmy: Busted Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: you're gonna keep my secret? SO romantic that Jimmy: my trust has been fully restored, like Janis: not very goals Janis: you crying all the time Jimmy: works for sir Jimmy: he's having one now Janis: Ben's very capable and we're all feeling a type of way about it Jimmy: Capable of getting you sent to sick bay in some weird accident they'll use to warn dickheads not to piss about on school trips Jimmy: won't dry my eyes so I look 💔 Janis: I get it, you're feeling sore Janis: 🍑hurt Jimmy: I get it, you're the only one who's allowed to make me feel like that Jimmy: you're alright, I'll fake that I ain't Jimmy: we'll still be #goals Janis: bit late for that Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Janis: not with that braindeadweight Jimmy: Challenge accepted, sweetheart Janis: unless the race is to first aid, you've got no chance Jimmy: that's you Jimmy: but Ill let you wear my 🥇 if you ask nicely Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🙄 even less chance of that Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: poor boy Jimmy: Alright Mia, have you know I found loads of 💰 a bit ago Janis: shared it with me Janis: you ain't heard how the rich stay rich? Jimmy: I ain't afraid to pull my weight Jimmy: or teach you owt you don't know Jimmy: and you still ain't sorted out how to do cute so Janis: fuck off haven't I Jimmy: Have you? Jimmy: Don't count if you're using it on Ben Janis: not my fault they separated us Jimmy: how do you work that out? Janis: don't start again Janis: we both got in trouble that was the point Jimmy: Or what? You'll piss off with Ben to first aid Jimmy: crack on Janis: yeah, obviously Janis: this is stupid, you said you didn't care about getting in trouble, so don't moan at me now Jimmy: you said you didn't either so take your share of the blame, dickhead Jimmy: weren't being 😎🥇 on my own Janis: how am I not? Janis: you're trying to put it all on me for no reason Jimmy: nowt's your fault, you just said Jimmy: 😇 you Janis: that ain't what I said Jimmy: what I read Janis: whatever Janis: fact remains there's no time to be cute right now Jimmy: [does something cute to prove the point that there always is] Janis: go away Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: very cute Jimmy: you're right, you're smashing it Janis: there's no need Jimmy: don't sound like a cop out at all, that Janis: what, what do you want me to do Janis: because they chase around after boys, and that's sad, not goals Janis: I'm doing my part right Jimmy: nowt to get worked up about then, is there? Jimmy: sort yourself out, girl Janis: literally do one Jimmy: LITERALLY stop crying, meant to be on brand for me, not you Janis: [you need to ignore him gal] Jimmy: [take a time out Jimothy, we know why you're being a dickhead but it's still rude] Janis: [oh the drama] Jimmy: [do your best to get Asia round this course, we know it's gonna be a shitshow] Janis: [oh gal] Jimmy: [we should say they go back on their own when everyone's on lunch, it makes sense] Janis: [we gonna need to propose that but yes] Jimmy: [gotta be alone for that dramaaaaa] Janis: [wandering off 'cos cannot be bothered to do this lunch moment right now] Jimmy: ? Janis: can have a 🚽break, can't we Jimmy: long as you do it before so 💀👑 don't get her hopes up that you're joining the ranks Janis: don't need to, do I Janis: why you think she hates me Jimmy: I'm going for a 🚬 then, come find me if you wanna go in Janis: don't you need bed rest Jimmy: bit rude for a come on Jimmy: don't really get me going if you slag off my stamina Janis: it's a, let's not go in, plea, if anything Janis: say what you want for mine, I can't be arsed yet Janis: stressful enough training Ben for the past, however long Jimmy: Alright Jimmy: come have a 🚬 Janis: alright Jimmy: you not hungry? Janis: nah Janis: we eat loads Janis: 🍬🍫🍪 Jimmy: No need to go in then Janis: you can, if you are Janis: say I'm sick or sleeping or some other cute bollocks Jimmy: You're alright, already had my dose of ☠ Jimmy: wouldn't wanna 💀💀💀 without you by my side Janis: Obviously Janis: or in this dump Jimmy: unless it were on that assault course Jimmy: get everyone right in the shit Janis: good idea Janis: go back and I'll finish the job she half-arsed Jimmy: you admitting you ain't got me well trained either? Jimmy: nowt to worry about, I'll keep that secret with my dying breath Janis: didn't get chance, did I Jimmy: you're saying 💀💀💀 job done but if you were 🥇 I'd be in the safest hands going, wouldn't I? Janis: I could Janis: but maybe I want you to lay down in the dirt and 💀💀💀 Jimmy: Stop flirting with me Janis: you wish Jimmy: for 💀💀💀? Duh Janis: then go on then Janis: find a blindfold substitute Jimmy: always trying to get my clothes off, you Janis: maybe it makes you more interesting Jimmy: you waiting for me to disagree or what? Janis: dunno if bighead or 💔 Jimmy: while you're pissing about 🤔 I'm actually waiting for you here Janis: awh Janis: one of us has to, babe Janis: hold on Jimmy: funny and clever, fuck me, full package you are, girl Janis: DUH Janis: closest you're gonna get Janis: didn't know people as thick as Asia genuinely existed Jimmy: modest an' all Jimmy: her parents must be northern, giving her a name like that is a dead giveaway Janis: guess what her sisters are called Jimmy: Arabia and Altrincham, obvs Janis: truly not that far off Janis: America, another continent kinda, alright, then they realize they've run out so China Janis: 🎻 she'll have such a complex that one Jimmy: 💔 their last name ain't White Janis: 😏 Janis: [show up from wherever you've been freaking] Jimmy: [lights her a 🚬 cos she said she wanted one] Janis: [smoking that as we walk to this assault course] Jimmy: [keeping it casual and not at all awkward] Janis: [the vibe] Jimmy: [get to this assault course and immediately start messing about boy cos you're so 💪 obvs] Janis: [🙄 but using this 🚬 as an excuse to sit and 👀 on the low] Jimmy: [when you come and sit by her after a bit but that not close because you obviously are so unbothered] Janis: [shakes head 'stamina, who?'] Jimmy: [push her cos 1. oi 2. you have a go then] Janis: [gesturing to her cigarette like excuse me 'such a slave driver, you'] Jimmy: [takes it off her and takes a drag like well you've got no excuse now] Janis: [ugh-ing about it but going, without the blindfold moment first] Jimmy: [👀 shamelessly] Janis: [doing it backwards 'cos show-off like see, so easy] Jimmy: [such a sarcastic slow clap 'close your eyes and have a crack at it'] Janis: [🖕 'I remember being the one who did it well the first time, not you' ] Jimmy: ['weren't the fastest though, were you?' a fake sympathetic face cos at least Asia was one of the worst so like they fucked up the best #soreloserlogic] Janis: ['only because Sam and Lewis are so close they're like telepathic, not fair'] Jimmy: ['first place or nowt, baby' cos he's pretending that he's so fine with the nowt because Asia just to wind Janis up like she's yet again crying] Janis: ['for you, maybe' L on the forehead moment] Jimmy: ['don't need telepathy to know you're -' 💔 mime 'and they ain't about now, what's your next excuse gonna be?'] Janis: [just doing this like fuck you boy] Jimmy: [putting a timer on his phone and waving said phone at her] Janis: [that phone lowkey your enemy, so shaming you have to fall al soz about that] Jimmy: [when you're so genuinely scared that she might be hurt that you can't be a dick about it and literally rush over to help her up] Janis: [we are so fuming boy watch out] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ARE YOU OKAY TELL ME because very concerned] Janis: [when you're so stubborn and 😤 just hobbling away like no good day] Jimmy: [catching up to her easily obvs and trying to force her to lean on you for support/ go sit for a sec] Janis: ['I'm fine!'] Jimmy: ['stop being a dickhead, you'll fall again'] Janis: ['I wasn't being a dickhead, that's you'] Jimmy: ['you are now' helping her whether she likes it or not] Janis: ['don't talk to me'] Jimmy: [picks her up and takes her to where they were sitting before without saying a word of course and puts her leg up on him because you're meant to elevate it] Janis: [just grumbling about how ridiculous this is, but mostly to self] Jimmy: [just giving her time to calm down cos obvs he's gonna take her back but not til she's ready cos they might have to see people] Janis: [give you some time gal, then you just sat there pouting but not as seething] Jimmy: [taking her shoe off for her really gently because you don't know how much it hurts or not/if it's gonna swell up and you know she's not gonna tell you how bad it is or isn't] Janis: ['alright, perv' but we winced a bit so you know it does hurt some] Jimmy: [😏 but his 👀 are worried] Janis: ['at least I don't have to do any more activities' but low-key annoyed about that like why am I here lmao] Jimmy: ['they'd have to let me help you, if you insisted you did wanna do 'em' because same vibe as when they talked him back onto activities after they sent him to his room, we know what teachers be like 'could be very goals'] Janis: [shrugs 'guess so' leaning forward to inspect your foot yourself 'you just don't wanna be left alone with Asia'] Jimmy: [playfully nudges her but we all know it turns into that feelsy lean they do] Janis: [letting it be but you are the one to shrug him off 'it's not that bad' sighs 'no excuse to talk to Mia's dad, still'] Jimmy: [can't help a little genuine amused smile 'have to fake it's loads worse' when you're joking for the benefit of Mia's dad rn but that is what they're gonna do lol] Janis: ['why not? LOVE sympathy, like'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like are you serious or nah cos we could] Janis: [we thinking about the potential benefits here like hmm 'taking away attention for #2 has it's appeal, sure'] Jimmy: ['and I can do sympathy in a way you'll like' when that sounds way saucier than you meant it to] Janis: [lols like that is purely bants and such a horrific prospect you haven't even considered it at all seriously 'I won't like it, but they'd LOVE it, so it's worth doing'] Jimmy: [shrugs like that's what you meant anyway] Janis: [shrugs back like you suggested it don't get moody with me] Jimmy: [shakes his head because he's not and he doesn't wanna fight with her rn but then picks her back up and carries her away before she can potentially pick a fight, only stopping when they get back to be like gesturing with his head do you wanna go in the direction of the lunch room and put on a show IRL or the sickbay to put on a show via posts on socials or her room to do none of those things] Janis: [gesture for the sickbay, 'cos it's more dramatic and you still don't wanna go do the lunch room rn for all the reasons] Jimmy: [we taking her and getting her some ice with a playful look because of how she took the piss out of him saying he needed some earlier] Janis: [grump 😒] Jimmy: [when you can actually do the pouty lip kiss thing for the first time because we gotta do socials posts] Janis: [when that's too much of a mood] Jimmy: [we're all dying and wanting to die] Janis: [doing it again purely 'cos you mad, not so he has to do that again, nah] Jimmy: [does do it again though because that hook up was no time ago and we're very much not over it] Janis: [I highly doubt there's a nurse, just someone who comes to do your first aid then bounces so you know, get into it] Jimmy: [fully just having a makeout sesh that you literally have no excuse for] Janis: [we need to, tbh] Jimmy: [I'm loling because it reminds me of when Ali twisted her ankle going up the mountain cos she was so 😍 for Carly especially because of all the posts he's gonna do on socials to milk this, suck it Ella, nobody cares that you got 'hurt']] Janis: [lmao, it is like that, soz you can't regale us like a cringe mum 'cos not on them good terms currently even though you'd all be slightly better 'cos your mum really held it down for all y'all soooo, yeah not even Mia cares, HOW MUCH DOES THAT HURT] Jimmy: [at least Janis can let Jimothy do all the work posting cos you so injured babe and he can be busy with that so y'all don't hook up again] Jimmy: [though would make lol if you two went insta live from sick bay] Janis: [Q&A 'bout the situation lmao go off] Jimmy: [everyone has a million questions about your everything rn we know] Janis: [and we need to feel like we back on top of faking this, right] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [going through her phone beforehand to see if there's any burning Qs] Jimmy: [when you just chuck her yours cos cba and also got that trust™] Janis: [🙄 'you do your share of the work, yeah?' 😏] Jimmy: [🙄 but you hold your hand out for your phone back cos #whipped] Janis: [shakes head, shows him Ben's girlfriend popping off 'cos that bitch like LOL] Jimmy: [pats her on the back IRL like good job babe cos genuinely amused] Janis: ['gutted I ain't gonna get him without a fight, obviously'] Jimmy: ['if you can't take her on with one good leg, you don't deserve him'] Janis: [😲 'how dare you'] Jimmy: ['I dare 'cause I don't give a shit, remember'  yeah okay Jimothy we know you're a rebel without a cause calm down 'nowt's too much trouble'] Janis: ['put it on your business card you now know how to make'] Jimmy: [😏 'nice bit of labour red font, and what do you know, colour of blood an' all, proper on brand that'] Janis: ['have to try again if you want to draw blood, bastard'] Jimmy: ['and you'll have to ask nicer if you want me to join your ranks, vampire girl'] Janis: ['think not, hot topic'] Jimmy: ['What the fuck is hot topic?' he's genuinely like ?] Janis: [😂 and not telling him like look it up and feel the burn on your own time, boy] Jimmy: [poking her which turns to tickling her like tell me] Janis: [shall never even if we reinjure ourselves rn] Jimmy: [casually a good place to start the stream though like oh are we live already oops we're just here living our best lives] Janis: [having a better time than all of y'all always] Jimmy: [making sure to lowkey be nursing her through this stream cos she's oh so injured and he's oh so attentive #hoesbejealous] Janis: [fight every instinct you have girl, pretend you loving it and be SO appreciative] Jimmy: [we making it look so casual like oh lemme prop your ankle up a little more, lemme get you another pillow for your head, lemme get you some water, no it's okay you answer this question brb] Janis: [#anatural because you raising your siblings that's the tea, LOVE to know how these questions are going] Jimmy: [that is the tea even if she's lowkey like why's he so good at this the weirdo #kinks] Jimmy: [but we know this is going brilliantly cos they are both funny fucks and bringing the chemistry] Janis: [yeah you have no idea beyond how he portrays himself as being so good at all this stuff and you can't question that without outing yourself so you shan't obvs] Janis: [probably a solid mix of bitchiness and perviness tbh] Jimmy: [when lunch can't last forever and you have to decide if you're going to whatever the afternoon activity is or if just he's going and she's staying there or you're staying together or what] Janis: [I say she better stay so it seems legit but you should go and pine sir] Jimmy: [not even fake we 👀 you boy] Janis: 🤞 you get teamed with someone with two braincells this time Jimmy: you'd have to cross more than that Jimmy: nowt but idiots about round here Janis: you and her are soulmates Janis: A* couple Jimmy: Tah, I'll get in her DMs and let her know you reckon so Janis: go for it Janis: honestly, probably the only thing that'll deter her Janis: inability to fuck me over 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: Woe's you is the #mood over here, mate Jimmy: 🏆 for staying on brand Janis: so you're gonna fatally wound me and then take the piss? nah Jimmy: if I were gonna fatally wound you, you'd be 💀💀💀 Jimmy: didn't push you off or owt Janis: be nice to me to their faces at least Janis: story change so quick Jimmy: [does some extra post about how much he misses her etc] Jimmy: alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: 🏆 for staying on brand Jimmy: not a challenge for me Janis: so you keep saying Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: meaning I should ask you that Janis: they eat up that live Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Whatever Janis: next week or whenever you can pick someone else to do it with Jimmy: What are you on about? Janis: if you reckon I'm so shit at it Jimmy: I never said Janis: you say it all the time, boy Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: you did alright, there's nowt to get a mard on over Janis: whatever, like I said Jimmy: What? Janis: what? Janis: what are you doing, anyway? Jimmy: I'm asking you what's the matter, nowt else til you've answered that, like Janis: nothing's the matter Janis: just don't know why you have to talk to me like such a dick all the time Jimmy: I'm a dickhead Janis: yeah Jimmy: What do you want me to talk to you like? Janis: literally just like we both have a stake in this plan and that we're both doing shit about it, nothing more or less Jimmy: okay Janis: alright then Jimmy: I'm fed up of this bollocks, cover me Janis: 👍 no fucker is coming back here to check on me so Jimmy: just me if anyone @'s you Janis: yeah, sure Janis: no doubt assuming at this point, idiots, like you said Jimmy: I'd chuck 'em all 🏆🏆🏆🏆 for giving us such a hand but I'd be there ages Janis: generosity has to know some bounds Janis: or it'll just get weird Jimmy: right Janis: anyway, you need any more 🚬 Janis: got loads now Jimmy: don't you need 'em? Janis: nah, not a smoker Jimmy: I'll come pick up 'em when I do you then Janis: literally this time or Jimmy: can't get back on your own, delicate little lass like you who's walking wounded an' all Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend would I be Janis: ugh Janis: suppose so Jimmy: I get it, you're fed up of this bollocks yourself Jimmy: should've put 💰 on you not staying put in that bed for nowt Janis: you didn't wanna stay in bed either when they sent you out, if I recall Jimmy: I weren't in pain but alright Jimmy: you said no fucker's coming to check, come with me if you want Jimmy: I reckon I might 🔓 the teacher's rooms Janis: I'm putting it on, remember but 🤫 Janis: yeah? Jimmy: funny that, I were putting my 💔 on at getting sent out Jimmy: heard you were such an athlete, reckon you've got it in you to hop over and meet us or what? Janis: 😱 no way! you're SUCH a social butterfly though Janis: 🐇 on the brain, new boy Jimmy: 🦘🥊 Jimmy: so 💪🏆🥇 you Janis: don't need to compliment me, it was my idea, obviously coming Jimmy: How were it your idea? I just had it Janis: 'scuse you Jimmy: you Jimmy: nicking my 🥇💡 Janis: such a wind-up Jimmy: that's you an' all Janis: 😒 Janis: ignoring you Jimmy: be my #ultimategoals if any lass could Janis: if you talked more, they'd get over it faster, I reckon Jimmy: if they let me get a word in, I might do Janis: that's what they want, mute hot boyfriend Jimmy: 💔 for 'em that my brother's only a kid and got a fair shout not growing up to look like me Janis: you joke now Jimmy: do I? Janis: 🤡 Jimmy: don't forget the 🔪🩸 Janis: brother ain't got a yellow mac, has he Jimmy: did do when he were a bit younger Jimmy: and he loves pissing about with a bit of paper Jimmy: ain't hard to make a ⛵ Janis: just don't let him go out in a torrential downpour like a fucking idiot then Jimmy: he's scared of 🎈 any road and going fucking anywhere without me Jimmy: be alright Janis: cute or annoying? Jimmy: How would I know? Jimmy: obvs a shit judge of character if I'm not 😍😍🤤 for 💀👑 Janis: or you cba to deal with her for a bigger tip than the one you get as is Janis: replaces minions with some frequency so, reconsider, babe Jimmy: about as much chance getting a tip off her as she does getting me to put even the tip in her Jimmy: done a crazy ex, and she ain't rich enough to make me reconsider having another go at it Janis: that's not a 😍😍🤤 mental image Jimmy: soz Janis: should be Janis: what kind of fake boyfriend Jimmy: [shows up to help her on this very short stroll to where the teacher's rooms which he absolutely doesn't need to do cos he's that kind of fake bf] Janis: ['what do you reckon Mr. Lucas deemed essential for this trip?' we chatting and walking] Jimmy: ['Old school porn mags about virgin school girls' because we treating him as so old he can't work the internet] Janis: [shudders 'too real' he has been there since gen 2 so in their minds you that old lol] Jimmy: [nudges her but then does the OTT catching her thing like obvs she's gonna fall just from that cos so injured] Janis: [more of a push than a nudge 'cos perfectly capable, tah] Jimmy: [we all know you just wanna touch her boy but takes a dramatic step back like okay then cos she was probably leaning on him at least a little bit] Janis: [😒 but striding out like fine] Jimmy: [takes a 🚬 from behind his ear cos #mood] Janis: [making this injury so much worse than it needs to be is the #mood here for you] Jimmy: [when you offer her the 🚬 after a bit cos sharing is caring even though you have loads now and don't need to share remotely] Janis: ['downgrade noted' miming 💔 but taking it like 😏] Jimmy: [we know you just wanted the excuse of passing it back and forth to walk closer to her again instead of hanging back] Janis: ['bet Ms Burke has bare booze an' all'] Jimmy: [irl 🤞 cos what you found earlier is long gone and they've probably drunk what they confiscated off you if it was better than what they brought #tahIan] Janis: [coming through for the teachers at least] Jimmy: [and he will be annoyed Jimothy took it in the first place so mission accomplished there 'looks like she put a fair bit of it away, better crack on before there's nowt left' and picking her up like you're taking ages gal but shamelessly just wanna] Janis: ['you've got a blatant kink' when you meant to sound pisstakey but deny it's not a mood so you end up sounded flirty anyway] Jimmy: ['it's only blatant if you keep tweeting about it' because we've gotta bring it back to fake or we'll die/do something we shouldn't] Janis: [looks down at herself being carried, like, 👌 but drops it 'so you finally admit you don't do everything'] Jimmy: [looks at her ankle 'be the size of your head if I don't, gotta admit that, you'] Janis: [shrugs like it doesn't matter as if the only thing that keeps you sane isn't running and other exercise] Jimmy: [shrugs back like he doesn't know that, at least on some level cos how sporty you are] Janis: [jumping down literally as soon as you can 'cos awkward and looking at him like 'impress me then'] Jimmy: [automatically steadies her when she jumps down because such a big brother but then we're cracking onto this breaking and entering cos wouldn't be that hard it's not exactly state of the art] Janis: [we just gotta kick it open and deal with the fact they'll probably assume it's you two] Jimmy: [they both wanna get in trouble it's fine] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [kill some time looking through all their shit lads] Jimmy: [I like to imagine you both pissing about with the ugly teacher clothes too] Janis: [100%, and dragging their lives based on even the flimsiest of evidence 'cos fuck the police] Jimmy: [when you're having such a lovely time you don't even drink yet cos you don't need to] Janis: [we need to fuck with Mr. Lucas' stuff the hardest like actually go too far, so that he will remember, 'cos any other teacher, even if they're like 'you'll be in trouble when we get back!' would forget after 3-weeks, but he needs to remember so we can be straight in that detention moment after] Jimmy: [10000% approve of that because he's gotta become their nemesis] Janis: [actually shady we not just joking fully here] Jimmy: [mhmm it'll give you something else to bond over cos you're casually becoming friends and falling in love during this bit which would be a fantastic montage] Janis: [true tea, we can always use detentions to our advantage so why not, it's community service lite] Jimmy: [is there anything else we wanna have happen before the activity time finishes and he carries her into dinner and gets her food for her and everyone dies about it?] Janis: [unless we're gonna hit 'em with another #moment] Jimmy: [you know I wanna cos I'm that bitch but is it too #risky?] Janis: [nah 'cos they can hear something/someone and have to literally bolt 'cos teachers room] Janis: [then she'll need carrying legit 'cos running is not the one rn but have to] Jimmy: [that's such a mood like it's the equivalent of running and handholding but even cuter bye, try not to die because you're so in love rn kids] Janis: [so we kissing and not getting a phone out before this, just so we remember] Jimmy: [cos god knows I might not be allowed to write it in tags 😒 but important q is who initiated it?] Janis: [hmm, can be her] Jimmy: [okay go have your coupley dinner moment lads, they can't stop you sitting together now she's an invalid] Janis: [make him feed you so then you can feed him in a suggestive manner, they'll literally be fuming and starving at that] Jimmy: [god bless, and thank god you can kiss as much as you want rn cos you'd be fuming you got interrupted] Janis: [and you can go some 'cos doing the most to be the most so enjoy that] Jimmy: [we know that's the mood you're in rn lads and the teachers are already sick of you so who cares if they're bothered] Janis: [or anyone else like who do either of you like, so fuck 'em] Jimmy: [and it lends itself nicely to the vibe of putting on a show for whichever of the flatwhites are in your room afterwards because that still needs to be a thing] Janis: [we can separate them for a bit before that if you want though?] Jimmy: [why not, amp up the tension and sexy mood a bit further lol] Janis: [my thoughts exactly] Jimmy: [like we know he's fake nursing her again but the #mood is a very different one to the cuteness of sick bay earlier so] Janis: [yeah, clearly it's a sit-down type activity so you can't insist you need to work together now] Jimmy: [I dread to think what boring bollocks] Janis: 💤 Jimmy: 😎🔨 Janis: 😶 🦷🦷🩸🩸🩸 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you'd have more intrigue, I reckon Jimmy: work hard not to look my 45 years though, don't I? Janis: you haven't had enough fake compliments? Janis: yes, so youthful, not a day over 38 😘 Jimmy: just saying it might look less like I were hiding my crow's feet and more like I were keeping it to myself that a bird pulled 'em out Jimmy: and how am I gonna do 😍 with 🚫👀 Janis: have to 🖐 Jimmy: [signs some fake compliments at her which we know aren't that fake] Janis: not what I meant but even without 👀 you have a better chance than me of getting it right Jimmy: I know you meant 🖕 but it'd have the fans in an uproar, Jasmine, think on Janis: I meant feel faces, you dick, not so un-PC that I don't know the difference between 😎 and 🔇 tah Janis: I'm keeping it goals here Jimmy: [comes over and shamelessly touches her face and hair in such a suggestive manner like 1. you meant like this yeah, I'm just getting my practice in 2. I'm keeping it goals too] Janis: still 😍 Jimmy: There you go then Jimmy: crisis averted Janis: get the ✂️ Jimmy: [we casually sending her doodles of all the ways they could die rn, starring adorable cartoon JJ's] Janis: such a dreamer, you 💘 Jimmy: romantic was taken by you Janis: obviously Janis: ask anyone Jimmy: had the Q&A a bit ago, babe Jimmy: you hit your head an' all? Janis: who was funny taken by, like? Jimmy: Ben's missus Janis: true Janis: shame Ben has a head like a turnip or I'd break them up for real Jimmy: that'll be why I said it, don't lie to mine, do I? Jimmy: don't have to get with him to do that Jimmy: I'll crack on to his soon to be ex Janis: if you think 🏉 heads are better Jimmy: Tah for the head's up, I won't feel hers Janis: lowkey got braille going on Janis: but you don't fake owe me that Jimmy: be a right laugh Jimmy: why wouldn't I? Janis: make you her next victim, probably why not Jimmy: I get it, you wanna be the one to 💀💀💀 me Jimmy: Alright, Jules, I'll steer clear Janis: that's the deal Jimmy: 🖋🩸 Janis: tempting Janis: jazz up this project Jimmy: Hang on, I'll open up a vein for you Jimmy: what could be more #goals? Janis: next Q&A, babe Jimmy: 👌 Janis: torture kink confirmed for Lucas 😩 Jimmy: nowt we weren't in the know about ages ago Janis: this is bold though Jimmy: you could boldly go back to sick bay Jimmy: they don't know you didn't hit your head, and one that size the headache would be 💀💀💀 Janis: no more fun that, is it Janis: may as well be bored here Jimmy: Depends Janis: I checked, the meds are shit Jimmy: but what Ms Burke uses to self medicate weren't that bad Jimmy: no 🍾 like, but you'd be alright Janis: I'm not as 😢 as her Janis: trying to get me drunk is a choice though Jimmy: right little ☀ you Jimmy: I'm trying to stop you whinging Janis: 'cos you're loving life Jimmy: no dickhead is, that'd be the point Janis: so 🤐 like it's a me problem Jimmy: I never said it were Janis: you was whinging bout it Janis: your table well interesting, yeah? Jimmy: You've got an excuse to do one, someone'd stop me before I smacked my head into the desk enough times for 🤕 Jimmy: that were what I said, nowt else Jimmy: take it or don't, girl Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: I told you, I'd be bored regardless, we don't need to go over it again Jimmy: Alright, fucking hell, forget I said owt Janis: Gladly Jimmy: 👍 Janis: if you want a break from your duties, I'll go rest after Jimmy: if you wanna tell me to piss off, do it properly Janis: fuck off turning shit around on me Janis: you want me to go now, just ignore me, no one is going to call us out if we give it a rest for a hot sec Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: fine Jimmy: is it? Janis: yes, stop asking like that Jimmy: stop being a massive twat Janis: why bother Jimmy: I don't want you to go nowhere, alright? Janis: alright Janis: what is it then? Jimmy: What? Janis: wha's wrong? Jimmy: What's wrong with you? Janis: Charming Jimmy: right Janis: you just seem moodier than normal, weren't calling you a total weirdo freak, was I Jimmy: Dunno, I read lips not minds Janis: another tagline Jimmy: give me my 🏆 whenever Janis: you know you want it off sir harder Jimmy: Mia's already deemed that non-goals, can't be a goer Janis: 💔 Janis: get it now Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭 Janis: Baby Janis: can't handle 🥈 Jimmy: you'll get used to it Janis: forgot my question mark, whoops Jimmy: yeah yeah Jimmy: I'm 🥇 ask anyone Janis: I'm the prize, ask anyone Janis: being nice to you, dickhead Jimmy: I'd have to give 'em a smack if I did do, that kind of fake boyfriend Janis: well 'ard Jimmy: 💪🏆 Jimmy: be less bored an' all Janis: getting to slag me off? yeah, you love it Jimmy: Getting to defend your honour, dickhead Jimmy: I'm the only one who gets to slag you off that's what 💕 is Janis: 😏 Janis: sounds about right Jimmy: should've probably phrased it more 🤓 for the screenshot Janis: where's my poetry, dickhead Jimmy: Hang on Jimmy: [writes her something actually good cos #muse] Janis: you save that from your crazy ex? Janis: s'clever, actually Jimmy: Do you see any other lass' name ❌? Janis: just think you were trying to remember mine, tbf Jimmy: What is it again? Janis: not important Janis: just stick with a pet name that makes us wanna puke Jimmy: Hers don't begin with the right letter, always get that far, me Jimmy: [draws her a doodle of a the JJ love heart for the first time ever] Janis: [mking sure the whole table sees so subtly] Janis: she weren't willing to change it? Janis: part-timer Jimmy: weren't willing to 💍👰 her, that were her next one Janis: your ex is a child bride? Jimmy: grim up north, you've been told Janis: that is 'it's their culture we shouldn't judge???!' grim though Jimmy: like I said, nowt to do with me Jimmy: if it stops her shagging half the north it'll be a bit less grim that she were Jimmy: *than Janis: 😬🤐 Jimmy: *😐 Janis: did you break up 'cos you came here, or was it ages ago? Jimmy: Did you not clock how unbothered I were there? Janis: that's just your face all the time Jimmy: *😒 Jimmy: That's my face Janis: 😍 there he is Jimmy: [makes her a paper boat and puts it on her desk] Jimmy: next time it's 😭 you've got that to piss about with Janis: [Blows him a kiss] Janis: 🤤🥴 you want me to get my arm ripped off by a clown? hot Jimmy: [IRL 😍 because we will lose ourselves if we're too real rn] Jimmy: #kinkunlocked Jimmy: That mean you'll let me 🪓🦶 or what? Janis: that's why you want me bedbound, all adding up now Janis: currently, I'll take it, do your best to do your worst, or whatever Jimmy: 🛏⛓ Jimmy: 🎀 Jimmy: You alright? Janis: gonna take Helena's pills, then I will be Jimmy: What's wrong? Janis: feels like someone's 🪓🦶 from the inside out Jimmy: Fuck this, I'm taking you to your room Janis: You don't have to, seriously Jimmy: [does though and tells the teacher that's what he's doing like I dare you to stop me bitch] Janis: [not in a position to argue, just like 'that's what they're for, she's got a slipped disc or some bollocks'] Jimmy: [casually having a row with the teacher like we're going good day and they do go and he puts her on her bed so gently like the softest boy and goes to get said 💊 soz Helena but not soz Mia if you do get the blame for this after having those couple under your pillow and more ice and an ankle support or whatever from the shit first aid like brb] Jimmy: how many? Janis: [oh boy you so pure] Janis: take another 2, please Janis: then I'll have 1 for tomorrow too Jimmy: One sec Janis: sorry Jimmy: What for? Janis: all this nonsense Jimmy: it's nowt Jimmy: be a load of bollocks if you were just sat there in pain when we can sort it piss easy Janis: I can't believe I even hurt myself, it's so stupid Janis: but if she notices, I'll get her better, don't worry, like Jimmy: When she notices, I'll let her know it were 💀👑 don't you worry Janis: maybe she won't, might be emergencies only type of shit Jimmy: doubt she'd be here if it were that bad Jimmy: 💀💀💀 trap that assault course Janis: by the time you get back, I will have curled up in a ball and died, and that's only a self-drag so, don't start Jimmy: What if it's broken? Janis: my ankle? Janis: it ain't, I'm 99% sure Jimmy: that 1% is 💔 Jimmy: be 100% for me, like Janis: alright, I am Janis: there's no way I'd have this much movement still, it was running on it earlier, that's all Jimmy: [we back cos we hurrying, give her that pill and some water and tuck the other one in her pocket for later (always so intimate boy) and put the ice on, then we're just sitting on the floor close as we can so she can have the entirety of the bed which would be Grace's as a correction corner cos I doubt he carried her up the ladder] Janis: [oh yes, soz to kick you out your bed gal, make later even more awkward lols, just hiding your face under the covers 'thank you'] Jimmy: [the softest 'hey' ever as you uncover her face and gently touch it cos you're worried that like she's in so much pain it's making her feel sick or something] Janis: [it is just shame and that should be apparent on her face, such a pitiful pout moment 'I am not this bitch, I swear'] Jimmy: [just brushing his thumb over her bottom lip like no put that away please 'I know' cos they may not know each other but he knows that much thankfully] Janis: ['can you stay, for a bit?'] Jimmy: [makes himself comfy on the floor next to her as a yes] Janis: ['you can get in, just don't literally sit on it and we'll be fine'] Jimmy: [bites his lip in a worried and adorable manner cos wants her to be comfortable but obvs does get in] Janis: ['don't worry, if you come across all rapey, still got both fists and one good leg' but gets comfy on him like, jk, I trust you] Jimmy: [a genuine lil smile cos we still worried but we're also amused and feeling a bit better] Jimmy: ['still got your teeth an' all, well deadly weapon them' always gotta be a bit saucy with it even in times of struggle] Janis: ['that's a different scenario altogether, gotta be nice for that to happen'] Jimmy: [gives her a look like oi cos he has literally been so nice and draws a halo round his head like excuse you] Janis: ['yeah, you have, but not like- you don't wanna' shakes her head and does devil horns on her own] Jimmy: ['I wanna - no you don't even go there sir shut your mouth and change what you were gonna say 'make sure you're alright' like true but] Janis: ['I know' smiles a bit, to reassure him 'these tabs are good so I'll either pass out or have a good time in the hottest of secs so, win-win'] Jimmy: [shakes his head but in an affectionate way] Janis: ['sorry I can't share'] Jimmy: ['You're alright' shrugs 'We've still got Ms Burke's stash to split' lowkey very much the last thing on his mind rn but we're on brand] Janis: ['go get it then' let's not gal full 😈 energy, but actually holding him around the waist so he cannot go anywhere 'cos rather this, we know] Jimmy: [snuggles into her more than he was like shh shh naughty baby 'in a bit' but we're not going anywhere] Janis: [happy sigh] Jimmy: [just being soft and quiet and snuggly] Janis: [go to sleep or you'll get loopy gurl] Jimmy: [both sleeping til Grace bowls in like a loud bitch not realising they are aka a my sister move] Janis: [SHOOKETH] Jimmy: [at least he can ask her how's she feeling because he genuinely wants to know but it's also goals] Janis: [when you say 'so much better thanks to you' 'cos genuinely but then you do the LOOK so  the fake lives on] Jimmy: [just asking her if he can get her anything cos genuinely but giving her a LOOK back in case she wants to take it in saucy direction, for the fakery ofc yep] Janis: [when you get to go 'you' and pull him down for a smooch 'cos excuse, thanks so much lol] Jimmy: [enjoy that lads cos we're all sleepy and in our emotions] Janis: [can't JUST start the show when the other flat whites come in, how unrealistic, no other reason we're snuggling so hard and telling him how good he is] Jimmy: [I like to imagine that Grace is getting ready to fuck off to one of their rooms to leave you to it when they descend because you know Mia knows you've been through her shit but can't prove it] Janis: [you and everyone else sweaty] Jimmy: [literally get over yourself babe, the only room they didn't do were their own, you ain't special and we're 'ignoring' y'all] Janis: [so hard, like not even saying hi 'cos just so injured and so concerned and also so into each other] Jimmy: [as far as y'all are concerned nobody's even there except for Grace cos she was impossible to ignore soz not soz ladies] Jimmy: [also he's ignoring his phone going off cos that full attention ™ would make them die] Janis: [when has a boy ever or when have you ever 'cos don't care about any lad that much we see you two 💀 Jimmy: [Pablo wouldn't and neither would you bitches, do love that it adds to your new boy mystery though Jimothy cos they don't know you're raising your siblings and your dad's a prick] Janis: ['do you need anything?' 'cos not that bitch, again, unlike you two] Jimmy: [shameless excuse for a make out that we're taking, sucks to suck gals] Janis: [when it's lowkey soft but still intense, compared to going the hardest for full effect 'cos that's actually more impactful rn] Jimmy: [I love that even though we know it'd make JJ die more, soz you two] Janis: [having to be all types of vulnerable rn] Jimmy: [#doitforthevine cos again when have any of the flatwhites been vulnerable with anyone] Janis: [try to stay alive] Jimmy: [at least whilst you're dying you're taking them down with you] Janis: ['I can probably get in my bed if you want yours back' 'cos where even are you all, just standing watching, need some privacy here lmao] Jimmy: [Grace would be like it's fine because has been trying to get them all to leave since they got there but nobody's listening lol] Janis: [get in that top bunk anyway 'cos like, not fine, your friends are crazy] Jimmy: [don't worry gal he'll help you] Janis: [at least now you can communicate 'cos can't straight up be peeping that hard, 👍 like ?] Jimmy: [just nods cos we're more worried about her ankle and checking on that not because this is such an intense situation rn nope nope] Janis: '[it's really fine now!' in the like OMG, you're SO precious tone they would use but also tryna be like actually though] Jimmy: [making her comfy af anyway because you're that kind of boy] Janis: ['get comfy with me'] Jimmy: [does and does a really loud happy sigh that we'll never know if it's real or fake] Janis: [saying sorry that he has to stay in with her and asking if he's so bored then loud whispering all the ways she gon' make it up to him] Jimmy: [saying back that he could never be bored with her and he wants to stay even though they're all here because true and kindly take the hint that you aren't taking from Grace ladies] Janis: [honestly, what do you want, you have two other rooms you could be in, it's so blatant lol] Jimmy: [maybe all his loud whispering about what he's gonna do to take care of her, in the sauciest manner he could ever mean that will make you leave but unlikely, we know Grace and Hollie are doing the most to be like LET'S GO but] Janis: [the lookiest of LOOKS honey, 'what are we waiting for then?' loud enough to be a warning like bitches go] Jimmy: [he's taking clothes off of her rn so you better leave there's another warning] Janis: [bra on your head or something equally as comical] Jimmy: [Grace is going so you've literally got no excuse to stay now Mia but you do have an excuse to sleep with that boy that Grace was flirting with cos you so mad] Janis: [sorry bra head] Jimmy: [I love ruining her life so much it gives me life, I also love that JJ are shamelessly gonna carry on for a bit just in case they come back cos of forgetting something cos actually wouldn't put that past Mia or Ella tbh] Janis: [very dedicated] Jimmy: [mhmm not at all that you really wanna do everything you said you were gonna do] Janis: [mhmmmmmmmmmmmm, not at all awkward when you have to stop 'cos realistically they gone] Jimmy: [at least you can finally check what was popping off on your phone in case Cass or Bobby need you] Janis: [yes, a must, as per you just kinda stuck but esp. with your ankle so just relish in that awkward] Jimmy: [I'm gonna say he has to facetime him cos they'd be signing anyway so all the secrets are safe] Jimmy: [but checking on the bae throughout like do you need me to get you anything because that bitch] Janis: [v handy actually, just watching but not in a creepy way just interested] Jimmy: [casually gonna be the longest phone call ever as poor Bobby misses him] Janis: [poor bobert, hop down for a wee or something gal give some space] Jimmy: [you know he's gonna help you automatically even if you could actually hop over] Janis: [taking a shower just to kill time, even though he's probably gonna be #concerned ] Jimmy: [he's gonna be 😒 at you gal] Janis: [hohaha] Jimmy: [don't actually slip over or anything though that's the last thing we need] Janis: [being careful if you aren't gonna come in and reprimand us it fine] Jimmy: [I wish you would boy but that's risky for other reasons] Janis: [we know, not that shameless or bold quite yet] Jimmy: [one day kids] Janis: [are shameless enough to come out in your towel like bonjour] Jimmy: [cue his grumpiness cos 1. #concerned 2. we know what she looks like] Janis: ['what?' like you kinda know but you know, play like you truly don't have a clue] Jimmy: ['what do you mean what?' he's fuming] Janis: ['I felt gross' bit rude like 'cos YOU'VE been all over me but probably groggy from the meds and just spending more time than you ever in a bed 'it's fine'] Jimmy: [😒 af because we've jumped to the conclusion that she is saying because of him and also he hates all that it's fine bollocks] Janis: ['come on' throwing her hair towel thing at him once she's done drying it 'I didn't fall'] Jimmy: [throws it back at her a little bit too hard cos we know the 3. I didn't write is that the fam stuff has also got to him, cos Ian is the worst] Janis: [is honestly like oh! but we dropping it with a shrug 'cos clearly about more than you, you aren't that bitch either, just carrying on getting PJs on etc like alright] Jimmy: [go to get her some water to give her some privacy to put clothes on and also to give her as a peace offering] Janis: [just like tah with a head nod] Jimmy: [he's going to the window to 🚬 cos can't leave in case someone sees him] Janis: ['how long did we nap?' literally no concept 'cos never sleeps that well tbh] Jimmy: ['just for a bit' cos realistically wouldn't have been an age 'go back to sleep if you want'] Janis: [shrugs like 'could do' 'cos lowkey evenings on school trips are this awkward like what we gonna do] Jimmy: [just smoking in silence in case she does wanna but then after a while is suddenly like 'come here' cos sees Mia going into that lad's room but doesn't know who's it is] Janis: [does and is 😏 and already tryna do a zoom shot but misses 'come on then' 'cos gotta be nosy and life ruin] Jimmy: [gets his hoodie which is now hers and puts it on for her first including a zip up moment because she only has pjs on and he doesn't want her to be cold] Janis: ['A*' 'cos all part of the performance obvs] Jimmy: [we just shrugging cos we got places to be spying, 100% has also set a timer to see how long she's in there for that shade though] Janis: [lmao, this poor random boy 'I reckon this is his first time, you know'] Jimmy: [visibly cringing cos imagine your first time being with Mia, it'd be bad enough sleeping with her any time] Janis: [nods like mhmm, 'cos on some level you think he's JUST cringing about first times] Jimmy: [when he probably would think about his first time with the ex and cringe some more] Janis: [pushing him like 'focus' as if this is v v serious sleuthing] Jimmy: [pushes her back like oi because always, unrelated kinda but I think we should say it starts raining for that #mood] Janis: [love rain baby] Jimmy: [puts her hood up for her as a shameless excuse to touch her hair] Janis: [when it's still damp from the shower so this makes you smile like okay boy] Jimmy: [smiling back automatically and it's a cute lil moment ™] Janis: [messing up his hair 'cos likewise] Jimmy: [we falling in love again, quick boy gather what evidence you can without having to witness anything gross] Janis: [or being seen by miss thang, not stalking you in return tah] Jimmy: [she wishes, oh snap though what if Mr Lucas sees them] Janis: [JJ or Mia and poor boy? Jimmy: [JJ because he hates them and it amuses me like why you lurking in the rain sir] Janis: [how sinister, absolutely] Jimmy: [we'll let you finish your mission first, he don't need to interrupt that] Janis: [but a good reason to separate you again] Janis: I've got an 💡 Jimmy: but is it🥇? Janis: some would even say 🔥 Jimmy: Go on Janis: what if we repurpose the website we made for the computer project Janis: upload the 📸 and 📹s Jimmy: Alright Janis: it's a good idea Janis: I don't mean now, I mean when she really deserves it Jimmy: you don't reckon she deserves it now? Janis: she always does, obvs Janis: but she can do worse Janis: and we can probably get more RECEIPTS to make it more 🔥 Jimmy: and you'll get a bigger 🏆 off me Janis: priorities Jimmy: that's your top one, yeah Janis: idk if that's even my fake top priority Jimmy: Oi, don't protest too much, girl Jimmy: you'll bring Bill's 👻 out Janis: don't threaten me with a good time Jimmy: 👻 can't threaten you with owt Janis: or just moving my shit slightly to one side Janis: throwing a few plates, fucking with the radiowaves Jimmy: I'd only have to get it for you if I did do Jimmy: and grab myself the 🧹 Janis: 1. rude, because it's both your fault that I'm an invalid and your fault that you keep treating me like one 2. stick it up your arse and you'll have two hands free 👌 Jimmy: 1. never said I weren't gonna keep putting the work in, just that there's no need to create loads of extra Jimmy: 2. another 💡🥇 you're on one today, Janet Jimmy: 3. Why's it alright for you to threaten me with a good time? Janis: 1. didn't say that either, you clearly love it so why complain? 2. all I do is 🏆 you need to pay closer attention 3. 'cos I know how to have one, OBVS Jimmy: 1. you reckon this is me putting a complaint in? Bit awkward that 2. when I ain't off the clock I'll be sure to crack on with that and owt else your heart desires, babe 3. You know how to have a 💡🥇 it ain't the same thing Janis: 1. don't have a special form for it or a manager so, now's your only chance 2. 🤮 3. yeah, would know, as I have 'em both Jimmy: Keep on and I might take it Jimmy: but as things go, I told you 😒 just my face Janis: love it, I already told you I know Janis: say no more Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 🤤 Janis: genuine Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: fake Janis: 👍 for clearing that up Jimmy: 👍 for not having genuine 💔 about it Janis: 🙄 imagine Jimmy: you're alright, tah Jimmy: don't need any nightmare #inspo Janis: 🎻 Janis: it'd be your privilege Jimmy: would be 😭🎻🗭😱 that were what I just said Jimmy: it's my privilege to be off the clock for a bit Janis: sound like an old lag Janis: enjoy your freedom Jimmy: that'll be 'cause I am Jimmy: Helena's 💊 wore off yet or what? Janis: what you saying? Jimmy: you heard me say it Jimmy: are you alright or what? Janis: you're bad at taking a break Jimmy: It's pissing it down, it'd put my 🚬 out Jimmy: you might as well answer me Janis: not all breaks last 15 minutes and include two 🚬s, you know Janis: do anything your 💘 desires Jimmy: sounds fake, that Jimmy: and my 💘 desires your answer, dickhead Janis: I'm alright Janis: felt better earlier, obviously Janis: but not taking no more from her Jimmy: have a drink then, I left it there Janis: want me to roll it down after? Jimmy: it might float away Jimmy: keep it for now Janis: 👍 more for me Jimmy: Oi Janis: yes? Jimmy: leave my share alone, pisshead Janis: well demanding Jimmy: how'd you work that out? Janis: don't you want me to manage my pain? Jimmy: it were my idea Janis: exactly, now you're being stingy Janis: Ms Burke knows how much you need to really take the edge off Jimmy: half'll get the job done, lightweight like you Janis: not even true Jimmy: you're not alright then Janis: I meant I'm not a lightweight Jimmy: and I meant, it's a bigger edge that you're telling me if you need owt more than your half to see it off Jimmy: *than Janis: Only taking the piss Janis: I'll save your half Jimmy: are you? Janis: Alright ✔ taking the piss ✔ Janis: be all good by the time we leave, I reckon Jimmy: 👌 Janis: are you Janis: was on the phone ages earlier Jimmy: Alright ✔ taking the piss ❌ Jimmy: didn't realise you had a ⏲ going Janis: no need Janis: escaped and had a shower, 'nuff said Jimmy: you do take ages Janis: fuck off Janis: got a lot of hair, ain't I Jimmy: taking the piss ✔ Jimmy: you're alright, reckon my ex's 🚿⏲ could give Gracie a run for her 💰 Janis: probably 😭 in there then Jimmy: 💔 she can't fit the full orchestra in Janis: have to be minted for that Janis: how big does a bathroom have to be, anything more than a box with a bog in is a flex Jimmy: bet 💀👑's is MASSIVE Janis: which one? 💁 Jimmy: her personal one, duh Janis: play 🎾 whilst you 💩 Jimmy: play ♟ with human sized pieces while you 🤮 Janis: human pieces if you could get the bloody staff 😤 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: some dystopian shit that Jimmy: she looks like she's crawled out of a warzone or some bollocks Janis: very zombie Janis: NEVER eat all those 🧠 though, zombie on a diet Jimmy: cancer ward would do an' all but she'd be about the pity too much for me to sign off on that one Janis: ugh, she'd be infuriating if she had a terminal illness Jimmy: she has Jimmy: and it's spread to 💀#2 Janis: nah Janis: well part-time Jimmy: obvs, rich girls ain't got no need to do owt full time Janis: 'cept be a mummy, when the time is right Jimmy: nah, that's part time an' all if you can get the staff Jimmy: and keep your husband away from 'em Janis: face like 💀? good luck Janis: poor nanny would only have to look vaguely human Jimmy: she won't keep a lad long enough to 💍👰 Jimmy: have to 💰👶 Janis: wouldn't put fuck all past her Janis: 💰🤵 Janis: why not Jimmy: 🛏⛓🦶🏻🪓 Jimmy: bit weird how it came back round Janis: 🛑 to 🤐? Jimmy: nowt weird about that Janis: it is your kink Jimmy: it were you who were genuinely 🤤 about me shutting up a bit ago Janis: and it was you that 🛏⛓ Janis: phase one almost complete Jimmy: if it were, you wouldn't be pissing about going for 🚿s Janis: well soz I got away Jimmy: me an' all, obvs Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: If you think of a kink that don't involve 🛏 you can hmu Jimmy: 🤯 Jimmy: I've got nowt else to offer you, soz Janis: damn Janis: guess I'll be taking loads of 🚿s Jimmy: don't give me a bell when you twist your other ankle then Janis: 🥺 Janis: what if Ben ain't as good at fetching me things Jimmy: that'll mean you ain't as good a trainer as you reckon Jimmy: but go on and give him them 👀 Janis: you're right Janis: that's ridiculous Janis: obviously I'm 🥇 Jimmy: There you go then Janis: it's been fake Janis: gotta dash Jimmy: 👍 Janis: I know, the 💔 is real Jimmy: I can't 😭 if you keep on Janis: performance anxiety Janis: cute Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: it's gonna take you ages to dash anywhere, you better crack on Janis: rude Janis: I'm great at 🦩 Jimmy: you are always 😳 Janis: *never Jimmy: never @ Ben Jimmy: you've got that right Janis: if Ben asked me to fake it an' all, I could Jimmy: duh Jimmy: nowt you wouldn't do for that lad Janis: not fake anal Janis: need to save something for the fake honeymoon, tah Jimmy: You're alright, it don't count for you god fearing paddys Janis: that's Ben's line Janis: not my pimp Jimmy: be knackering, well in demand, you Janis: thanks? Jimmy: I'll leave you to it then, mate Janis: night Jimmy: in a bit Janis: left your hoodie on your door Jimmy: it's yours Janis: it's not though Jimmy: is til we're done Jimmy: so unless you're 💔 me for Ben tonight, have it back Janis: I'll give it back tomorrow Janis: got plenty of hoodies that could be yours at home Jimmy: 👌 Janis: oh Janis: and I left the bottle Janis: grab that 'fore Ms Burke sniffs it back out Jimmy: you need a hand back? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: where that hand is taking me Jimmy: Depends Janis: I'm not getting back in fucking bed Janis: I'll get sores Jimmy: I'll flip you over Jimmy: 💪 me Jimmy: and I've got that 👻 rep to keep Janis: steady Janis: 😏 Janis: not gonna start a new rep being one of those lonely women who has paranormal orgasms Jimmy: I get it, no threat of a good time Jimmy: where do you wanna go then? Janis: mhmm Janis: after I ❌ out 🍑 stuff and everything, still tryna see it from the back Janis: I dunno, there has to be something less deadly than the assault course Janis: the lake? Jimmy: Alright Janis: I'm gonna go mental if I don't get out Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: hang on Janis: finish whatever's keeping you busy Jimmy: [appears like a 👻] Janis: [faux 😱 for the horror movie moment] Jimmy: [passes her the bottle he's just taken a swig from automatically] Janis: [raises a brow 'cos had her half, clearly, but as clearly does not turn it down] Jimmy: [picks her up obviously] Janis: ['you know it's a way down there-' gestures in the general direction '-yeah?'] Jimmy: ['that'll be why you need carrying' cos he's like stop walking about ffs, such a worrier] Janis: [tuts 'go halves with you on that tab tomorrow at this rate, boy'] Jimmy: [such an OTT fake offended face to hide that he actually is] Janis: [pinches his cheeks and his biceps 'n'awh, you're good, just saying, don't try to come for me for your physio'] Jimmy: [pretends that he's gonna drop her cos she's messing about like don't come to me for yours] Janis: ['I'll drag you down with me' looking at the muddy ground and looking at him like, game if you are] Jimmy: [SUCH a LOOK] Janis: ['think of the photo op' trying to sound casual but not] Jimmy: [puts her down and gets his phone out, giving her the same kind of impress me then look that she gave him earlier when he broke into the teacher's rooms] Janis: [gets down, with however much difficulty, on her knees, then gets back up with the same and points at the mud like, see what I'm saying here, 'cos in PJs so lot of skin we could cover] Jimmy: [just looking at her like don't hurt yourself babe] Janis: [😒 'come on'] Jimmy: [comes over and smears mud on her 😒 face and you know it's meant to be in a pisstakey manner but it's just saucy] Janis: [gets her phone out so she can film the kiss she gives him to get that mud on his face] Jimmy: [not at all casual makeout sesh enusing] Janis: [pulling him down in the mud like you said you would] Jimmy: [so #into it whenever and wherever we know] Janis: [again, these pics such an after-thought immediately] Jimmy: [still gonna pull you into his lap though as an excuse to keep you in frame, no other reason at all] Janis: ['you like me here, yeah?' under the vague pretense we 📹 as per] Jimmy: [when you just nod because even though we're 'filming' you don't trust yourself not to say something you shouldn't] Janis: [shifts somehow closer so they're fully pressed together 'what about here?'] Jimmy: [a NOISE because it's the perfect answer for this 📹 but also real af] Janis: [a noise in return 'you're so fucking-'] Jimmy: ['you' and kissing her really hard before she can dispute it] Janis: [bye phone tbh] Jimmy: [you did better at pretending than I thought you would lads tbh] Janis: [well done for even bothering babe] Jimmy: [literally] Janis: [wouldn't have if you had a clue what he was thinking ever but there we go, as is the fake dating era of it all] Jimmy: [it's very much the same for him if it's any consolation gal] Janis: [it ain't for her but it is for us lmao] Jimmy: [we love it soz not soz] Janis: [this is v cinematic] Jimmy: [at least you'll have to get in the lake to get all this mud off so that'll be a #mood too] Janis: [don't get hypothermia though pls] Jimmy: [god it would be so cold I can't even imagine] Janis: [gonna need to snuggle it's the law] Jimmy: [yaaaas, can and will send him back for a duvet if necessary too] Janis: [your school is never being allowed back 'cos of you two lmao] Jimmy: [you're welcome kids of the future who won't have to do all this bollocks] Janis: [tbh] Jimmy: [gonna vote for more rain when they in the lake to make it even more cinematic] Janis: [hundo] Jimmy: [what a beautiful evening] Janis: [we out here in a romcom in all the ways] Jimmy: [mhmmm] Janis: [how we keeping this PG-13 bois] Jimmy: [realistically we might have to give you something else to pretend didn't happen lol] Janis: [mhmm agreed] Jimmy: [no stopping that mud moment if we're being real] Janis: [s'what I'm thinking] Jimmy: [what happens on this trip stays on this trip so we'll allow it] Janis: [deal with that later] Jimmy: [you lowkey both think there won't be a later and you'll just not have to deal because he's holding onto that false hope of leaving very hard and you aren't planning to string out this fake dating that long regardless] Janis: [imagine if he left lmao, just never seeing this boy you lost your v to like did it even happen] Jimmy: [I will not imagine that because how sad] Janis: [soz that ain't happening boy but not at all] Jimmy: [it all works out in the end, you're both welcome] Janis: [but for now, what are we doing] Jimmy: [you two should probably get some sleep if you ever get warm/stop snuggling post lake] Janis: [are we separating though?] Jimmy: [they'll sleep better if they're together so it depends how mean we wanna be] Janis: [how you vibing lads] Jimmy: [we could make a case for keeping your distance after all that romanticness but also saying fuck it if you've come this far] Janis: [hmmmmmmm, I'm saying she's down to say fuck it, like you don't need to chat about that either if you just do it] Jimmy: [his room or hers] Janis: [we've woke up in her room once so switch it up for that max coverage] Jimmy: [good idea boo] Janis: [crack on] Jimmy: [have your spoon and get some sleep, you must be knackered]

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [I'm thinking like long enough that Mia and Co can establish a pattern of stalking him shamelessly but not long enough that half the hol is over obviously] Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: have a word to your sister Janis: you're alright Jimmy: I ain't Jimmy: bad enough she's always here without leaving half her clothes Janis: what you chatting Jimmy: There's the selective dyslexia Jimmy: sort it out Janis: sort out coming at me like I've got a clue what you're on about if you want solutions Jimmy: fuck's sake, Judith Jimmy: she's coming at me at work Jimmy: they all are Janis: lol where do you work sephora Jimmy: Yeah, that'll be why I knew so much about lipstick when you attacked me with it Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: that sounds like a you problem Janis: her details are NOT hard to find on purpose, like Jimmy: I didn't put in all them fake dating hours to end up where I were Jimmy: or to have a lovely chat with her Janis: what do you expect me to do Janis: if she cared about my feelings she obviously wouldn't be trying to fuck you or get a free makeover Jimmy: not be a dickhead Jimmy: but alright Janis: she's an annoying bitch Janis: my condolences Janis: not news to me Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: give me her shit then, I'll take it home Janis: where do you actually work though Jimmy: Common Grounds Jimmy: [sends her the deets] Janis: alright Janis: I'll be in later, leave it with whoever if you're off Jimmy: 👍 Janis: can't you bar them Jimmy: Top idea to piss off my manager Jimmy: no rich girls Janis: 🙄 Janis: they ain't the only ones about Janis: idk, hide when they come in next time Jimmy: they're the ones most often about Jimmy: tips are well up Jimmy: 🥈 idea to piss off my manager Jimmy: do nowt Janis: I know you don't all need to serve Jimmy: Use your big head Jimmy: they ask for me Janis: 🤢 Janis: she better not be Janis: not that rich Janis: who the fuck does she think she is Jimmy: Mia's the only one allowed to talk Jimmy: keep up with the squad rules, mate Janis: no tah Janis: want me to put in a sneaky complaint Jimmy: I get it, you don't play by them Jimmy: 😈 you Jimmy: why you never 💔 me Janis: ain't been back that long Janis: christ, my holiday too Jimmy: if you wanna just 👻 me, crack on with doing nowt Jimmy: it's working anyway Janis: is it? Janis: 'cos you just said it weren't Jimmy: not with them but my DMs are full of people ❔ & 💔 that I ain't posting about you Janis: there you go Janis: so wanna go with that, caspar? Jimmy: Do you? Janis: Don't make odds to me, I've proved my point, whether that lot wanna listen or not, like you said Janis: everyone else has so Jimmy: more questions if you don't swap me for some other dickhead though Janis: great Janis: I'll attach myself to the nearest prick then Jimmy: If you've got another answer for why you went from 😍😍😍 to 😑 then go with that Jimmy: like you said, ain't been that long Janis: you were way more 😍😍😍 Janis: but sure Janis: ugh, I'll be thinking on this bus then Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: you were Janis: take the compliment Janis: such a good actor Jimmy: Piss off Janis: What? Jimmy: I know you're calling me a drama queen or owt like it Jimmy: an insult up north that Janis: Calm down Billy Elliot Janis: I was saying you fake rocked my world, remember Jimmy: It ain't that kind of cafe like Jimmy: if you want dancers that's up the road Janis: I'm neither coming for you nor the lattes, boy Janis: coming 'cos her idea of flirting is pretending she's braindead and loses all her shit on the reg 🥴🤪 Janis: so appealing, right Jimmy: Good shout, me and every drink are too expensive Jimmy: gotta stay rich, eh? Jimmy: and 'course obvs 🤤🤤 Janis: 😂 Janis: that kind of dancer, are you Janis: left my ones at home Janis: soz Jimmy: a shit one but keep that between me and you Jimmy: it just ain't goals babe Janis: 🤐 Janis: your next gf, real or otherwise, won't hear it from me Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: #whenyourexaintapsycho Jimmy: what's that like? Janis: Poor kid Janis: not you, but 💔 of course Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: getting richer thanks to 💀👑 but still Janis: it feels dirty, no I get it Janis: maybe just be a stripper Jimmy: 👍 Janis: they won't get in Janis: 👶💀 Jimmy: nor would you 💔💔 Janis: 1. I don't wanna see that but keep that between me and you Janis: 2. yes I would Jimmy: Baby please Jimmy: such a liar OMG 😭😭😱😱 Jimmy: reckoned you and WE were better than that 💔🎻💔 Janis: it's called a private show Janis: nothing #goals about paying for it Jimmy: nowt goals about pretending you can get where you can't Janis: you think you can be a stripper fullstop Janis: too twink to be legal, babe Jimmy: You think I can 'cause you're 😍😍😍 Jimmy: I never said it Janis: 😠😠😠 Janis: don't tell me what I think OMG Jimmy: stop thinking about me naked then Janis: pretty sure you have to keep your thong on Janis: this is a Christian country, thank you very much Jimmy: how much have you thought about this? Jimmy: gonna make me 😳 girl Janis: Stripping? Janis: Not much Janis: my lack of tits and all 💔 Jimmy: Me stripping 'cause you'll be suggesting thong colours in a bit Jimmy: and my tits are decent so not a problem Janis: Well, black, obviously Janis: but that's just a given Jimmy: But babe you love pink!! Janis: that's the colour of your skin, it's obscene Jimmy: Have you gone blind? Jimmy: have you been all this time? Janis: no, whiteboy Jimmy: It'd explain the PJs and missing my neck when you went in with your teeth Jimmy: you sure? Janis: What do you mean? Jimmy: What do you mean what do I mean? Janis: I mean both were intentional and you know it Jimmy: admitting I know something? Jimmy: are you alright? Janis: just sick of talking to idiots Janis: if it's all the same to you Jimmy: you ain't gonna wanna come here then Janis: I don't, hence I'm going to the gym first Janis: quite near there, who knew babe Jimmy: Not me Jimmy: 💪 is natural Janis: pah Janis: don't make me actually LOL Jimmy: I carried you, don't make me have to recreate it 'cause you have some kind of memory loss Janis: and I'm skinny, regardless of the complex you wanna give me, pervert Jimmy: don't make you light Jimmy: you're not a 💀 girl Janis: been making you carry her 'round, has she Janis: she's not that rich and you're not that downtrod Janis: there are some rights you've got, like Jimmy: How are you not getting how high maintenance my ex was? Jimmy: you're not my first princess Janis: 💔 Janis: aw I thought I was special Jimmy: I know Jimmy: soz Janis: no worries, just drop the 🏋 on my head Janis: ttfn Jimmy: 👌 Janis: none of them are there rn are they? Jimmy: they left a bit ago Janis: great Janis: I'm not ruining my streak of Grace-free days Jimmy: 🏆💪 Jimmy: I get it Janis: Exactly Janis: 🥇 Jimmy: or nowt baby Janis: Mhmm Jimmy: we're so in sync 💕 Janis: not the worst team Janis: just ask the fans Jimmy: won't be able to when I delete my accounts 💔 better do that Q & A quick like Janis: going 👻? Jimmy: that 💀😭💔 over you, Jill Janis: but actually Jimmy: ? Janis: easiest way to shut 'em up is just to throw 'em a 🦴 yeah Janis: won't be all that taxing to just get a pic whilst I'm picking up her shit Jimmy: The lighting in here is #🔥 Jimmy: and I do know your angles Janis: half the appeal, obviously Janis: give you a solid 35% Janis: the iced coffees a 15% Jimmy: if you order iced coffee I'll dump you myself Jimmy: give a shit what the plan were meant to be Janis: those are their numbers, not mine Janis: I don't even drink coffee, just give you a tip so you don't 😢 Jimmy: I know that, rich girl Jimmy: I'm the dickhead making them Jimmy: no need to give me a tip, give me a like and retweet Janis: 😏 missed me that much yeah Jimmy: you know it 💕 Jimmy: just gotta tell everyone else Janis: 'course Janis: now we're back in civilization, more inclined to do so Jimmy: what you ain't gonna miss holding your phone up in the air like a right knob? Janis: ahh #memories Jimmy: save it they'll 💀 over that Janis: sad that it's true Janis: so popular Jimmy: 😏 yeah you sound 💔 mate Janis: like you don't find it even a tiny bit amusing Jimmy: if it weren't I wouldn't still be bothering Janis: exactly Jimmy: 💀👑 makes me 😂 not soz Jimmy: what's her #obsession with you? Janis: Obvs we've been in a centuries-long battle over the title queen of the undead and she's mad I wear it better Janis: I actually don't know though Janis: mad that I hate my sister more than she does? mad my hair doesn't fall out in clumps? Jimmy: 💀 pact but make it #goals, I get it Jimmy: 🩸 ain't everyone's colour Janis: she ain't got any, anemic cow Janis: not that I'd trust drinking from her, like Jimmy: alright 🤢 ain't anyone's either Janis: 😂 Janis: can only imagine the hilarious shit you've been forced to overhear Jimmy: crack on Janis: heard the general gist plenty of times but assume they're tailoring it towards you which means it's even more cringe than normal Jimmy: Your sister actually mute or? Jimmy: like is it some 🏆💪 with your deaf brother Janis: ha, no, you joking Janis: even he wishes she'd stfu Jimmy: never heard her say owt and I'M obvs 💔💔 Janis: idk then Janis: you probably seem the type that likes introspective, quiet girls #deep Janis: maybe she's giving that a shot Jimmy: 😂😂😂 Jimmy: that's a fucking misread Janis: her specialty Jimmy: where does she reckon I'm from? Up north there ain't no quiet girls Janis: exactly, you poor misunderstood boy 💔💔 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Janis: s'a tragedy, truly Jimmy: Mia probably cut her tongue out for saying black's the new pink Jimmy: that's the real one Jimmy: such an underappreciated colour your fave Janis: Yeah, dead awkward she's done be such a solid Janis: have to say thank you and everything Jimmy: I'll sign it for you Jimmy: know everything I need to if I'm gonna chat to her Janis: 💀👑 her personality revolves around how fast she can get things in and out her mouth Janis: no time or need for chatting, I already told you Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Jimmy: but that'll be why she's gone deaf, that & the starvation Janis: why's she deaf Jimmy: weren't listening to none of them when she let them say owt Janis: can't blame her Janis: who'd wanna listen to any of 'em Jimmy: oh I dunno the tall one was making some fair points Janis: 😂 about what, whether to paint their nails this shade of beige or this slightly darker shade of beige Janis: still not thrilling Jimmy: about you being a dickhead Jimmy: not a direct quote Jimmy: taken some liberties with it Janis: awh the tall one likes me Janis: maybe I'll let her pick me up and climb up the nearest skyscraper 💕 Jimmy: I don't reckon you get to call her the tall one when you're tall as you are, babe Jimmy: but as dates go, you could do worse Janis: She's gargantuan Janis: you're just short Jimmy: 🦍🏗💕 Jimmy: piss off I ain't short Jimmy: wind your giraffe neck in Janis: 😏 okay lil man Jimmy: I was brought up on 🥧 🥔 and 🚬 what do you want from me, honestly Jimmy: I ain't 💀💀💀 Janis: s'alright, you're not my real boyfriend, normal rules need not apply Jimmy: and you're not my real girlfriend so you don't get to slag me off Janis: I ain't Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: there's in-synch and then there's copying, babe Jimmy: don't start something then Jimmy: I'm up to my actual 👀 in mardy customers Jimmy: no need for you to copy that Janis: well if you're messaging even 2 other bitches rn that's probably why Janis: focus, boy Janis: cappucinos are your passion, you really need the dickhead in the suit to not be late to his meeting Jimmy: 1. what would I need you for if I were? 2. this needs all the focus of you making that sandwich you never after I fake rocked your world Jimmy: 3. Making me laugh is the 🥉 guaranteed idea you've had to piss off my manager Jimmy: 4. Are we going for a 4th 🏆 when you get here or what? Janis: 1. idk your business, I meant bitches = female not as in actual cunts 2. how 'bout you make me a panini, babe Janis: 3. they sound like a party are they at least daddy Janis: 4. what did you have in mind because I've strangely not come out in my PJs Jimmy: 1. only so much 🐕 training I've got time for Jimmy: 2. 💰💰 first Jimmy: 3. nah but my dad saw your 👂 handiwork and he's blooding raring to 💍👰 Jimmy: 4. Will it even be the same without them? 😱😭💔 Janis: 1. your dog sounds #problematic you mention it a lot just call me sherlock Janis: 2. golddigger Janis: 3. but I am gonna bae your da so fair's fair Janis: 4. it was just about the soft cotton 💔 soz everyone, can't go on Jimmy: 1. sounds it 'cause she is 👏 Jimmy: 2. starving artist Jimmy: 3. so fair you 💕 Jimmy: 4. obviously Janis: Poor baby, don't they let you eat the leftovers and sendbacks? Janis: That's criminal Jimmy: They do but I'm all about a sob story me Jimmy: white lies ain't criminal though so Janis: Noted Janis: full soap opera when I come through Jimmy: full orchestra an' all Jimmy: 🎻🎻 play on Janis: sure thing Janis: after I've slapped you, told you you are the dad, then you ain't and then tell you I'm 💀💀💀 so still look after it bye Jimmy: looking forward to it Janis: obviously Janis: perv Jimmy: you Janis: be pretty satisfying to smack you one but I wouldn't go that far Jimmy: save it for our fake break up, my dear Janis: spoilsport Jimmy: I do hate P.E but I wouldn't go that far, mate Janis: sucha 🤓 Jimmy: *😎 Janis: bet they ain't part of your uniform Janis: gutting Jimmy: such a #rebel an' all though 😈 Janis: with or without a cause though? Jimmy: It's that you only wear PJs Jimmy: the hill I'm gonna die on Janis: 😂 Janis: alright, start a # Jimmy: alright, hang on Jimmy: [does cos he's a nerd] Janis: brilliant Janis: cue the DMs asking to see, like Jimmy: Mr Lucas is gonna let you wear them to school like Jimmy: you're welcome Janis: looking to have a heart attack to get that early but not really pension Janis: 👀 you sir Jimmy: and he'll be seeing loads of you Janis: shut up Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: I know I'm good but making you voming on me #goals Jimmy: I dunno Janis: #goals for a very specific group of gals but probably not otherwise so 🤫 Jimmy: don't reckon you can use #goals and them in the same sentence, Joanne Jimmy: challenge too far Janis: true Janis: right, lemme hit the showers then I can be there Jimmy: tah for that Jimmy: 👃 before 👀 weren't part of the plan Janis: piss off I'm not a skank Jimmy: admitting you faked your work out Jimmy: well committed you Janis: no, admitting I ain't gonna leave the gym after without washing Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: leave me alone so I can do it in peace Janis: or I'll never get there Jimmy: Glad I don't need to talk you through it Janis: thanks, left my blindfold at home Janis: dickhead Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: you should wear that all the time an' all it was a #look Janis: no thanks Janis: fake trust will only get us so far Jimmy: only so many fake injuries I can nurse Jimmy: 😇 of 💀 weren't the pact Janis: 💔 Janis: suited you Jimmy: white's my colour Jimmy: why I'm staying pure til 👰 Janis: not if I've got anything to do with it Janis: which I already have so shh Jimmy: If anyone asks I'm filthy, gotcha Janis: you can be a bit more vague Janis: not gotta hoe it up, be fit and mysterious, like Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: been that since I got here Janis: you ain't a part-timer, I get it Jimmy: not with this job and the one I'm being paid for Janis: hot Jimmy: I know Jimmy: ☕ machine burns to prove it babe Janis: so brave too Janis: wow 😍😩🤤 Jimmy: stop flirting with me Jimmy: cold 🚿 Jimmy: we've got work to do Janis: 👌 Janis: even though it's so sexy when you get serious Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I ain't even started Jimmy: wait til I get my 📷 out, girl Janis: umm Jimmy: You scare easy, I remember Jimmy: it'll be alright Janis: 😑 stop saying that Janis: I ain't scared of a flash Jimmy: no need, I know what I'm doing Janis: you better Janis: good thing I can roll with the punches 'cos you're not exactly clueing me in Jimmy: You're in good hands baby Jimmy: nowt else to say Janis: I guess not Janis: in a bit then Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [showing up but outside] Janis: you want me to come in or what Jimmy: Do you wanna? Jimmy: I'm due a break Janis: not gonna cockblock your work romances unnecessarily Janis: come out then Jimmy: They'd only have to check my socials to see how 😍😍 we are Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: [comes out and immediately lights a 🚬 obvs] Janis: people love cheating, only point of having a 9-5, #amiright Janis: [just like hey but not with words obvs] Jimmy: [doesn't answer her typed message because not that type of boy and also #triggered but offers her a 🚬 in greeting] Janis: [picking up such a casual habit lmao like how he never asked if she smokes and she just went with it] Jimmy: [bit rude actually boy but fair assumption cos she wasn't like OMG NO GROSS haha] Jimmy: [when you really need that 🚬 but also you don't have long if you're gonna stage a casual #reunion photoshoot oh the awks] Janis: [least they can take photos as he does 'cos that #badboy rep honey] Jimmy: [hopefully it'll turn at least a few of the 🚭 brigade off] Janis: [you can dream boy but we know you look good fight me, let her put up the pics as her casual #comeback 'sorted'] Jimmy: [he looks hot as hell doing it and we've seen the proof honey, don't even need to discuss at this point how needlessly hard they are going at this for the #fans and not cos they've missed each other nope] Janis: ['course not, like there's every need to be so PDA, mhmm] Jimmy: [cos clearly every real couple is this extra and it's not as if Grace has already called you out or anything] Janis: [soz they need their flimsy excuses lads] Jimmy: [soz you're all jealous] Janis: ['what she even leave anyway?'] Jimmy: ['what hasn't she?' exaggeration but not by much] Janis: [🙄 'what the fuck'] Jimmy: [does a gun finger and puts it to her head & then his because honestly] Janis: [sticks her tongue out and closes her eyes like a nerd but shakes her head like] Jimmy: [when you can't help a little genuine smile cos she cute] Janis: [just like what but not mad] Jimmy: [just looking at her like ?? even though you know what boy] Janis: [pushing his arm but again not aggressive like lol] Jimmy: [when you stop her by holding onto hers but in the most flirty way ever cos obviously bye] Janis: [just raising her eyebrows like really] Jimmy: [doing it back, oh boy be careful if you think you're challenging her rn] Janis: [just maintaining that eye contact for the longest they've probably ever 'your fag break ain't long enough, boy'] Jimmy: ['never is'] Janis: [makes heart with her hands then breaks it 'imagine if you didn't smoke then' 'cos true you get more breaks if you do by default hence they try and crack down on it] Jimmy: [mimes playing that violin 'why you trying to give me suicidal thoughts?'] Janis: [points finger gun back at his head then does a shrug 'not now?'] Jimmy: ['imagine if you had to work for your money, rich girl' shrugs back 'least wait until school starts, get on their roof and let the crowd form, like'] Janis: [gasps dramatically and clutches her chest like how dare you even think it 😏 nods 'sure, you wanna see how many you can take out with you, very white boy of you'] Jimmy: [😏 'more fun when you're in the mood too' and a look cos we know he doesn't mean a 💀 mood lads and nods like yep knew you'd appreciate that] Janis: [tuts like she's so unamused sure ok but you be looking back and not moving even though you could get the stuff and be on your way] Jimmy: [shakes his head in an amused way] Janis: [when you brb to go in for a piss/to be nosy and end up talking to pete like hey boy for the first time why not] Jimmy: [when I make him come back in just in time to see that just so he can be jealous for the first time lol] Janis: [we're so mean but it's real sow the seeds, just like oh hey gimme her crap then] Jimmy: [when you basically throw it at her cos you're 😒] Janis: [when you're obvs ?! at the change in mood but like alright then go with that 'cos what else can you like laters lads] Jimmy: [aggressively makes lattes while watching her go like this is fine] Janis: [lmao poor clueless pete like this is a weird vibe] Jimmy: [god bless that sweet sweet boy] Janis: any point besides 'leave me the fuck alone' you need me to get across to her? Jimmy: is there any point in telling her someone'll nick it next time if she just buy more shit? Jimmy: *can Jimmy: putting the possibility of a shopping spree in her head probably only encourage her Janis: 🔨🔩 on the head, like Janis: any excuse Janis: might turn her all Winona and is there any less endearing rich girl stereotype Janis: she struggles enough as is 💔 Jimmy: 🔨🔩 in the head, like 🤞 Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Janis: god I wish they were still giving out lobotomies like they were last season's prada, honey Jimmy: don't reckon I can fake being a nurse hard enough to sign off on that Jimmy: soz Janis: no oscar for you then Janis: and I thought you were convincing for a sec there Jimmy: put your PJs back on and maybe it'll inspire me Janis: if that was a factor you'd have been more inspired Janis: 😏 Jimmy: I was 🥇 Janis: saying I weren't, please Jimmy: you can have 🥈 Janis: piss off Janis: I put in more graft than you Jimmy: Bollocks, you were lying there 'injured' Janis: Your fault Jimmy: and I had to apologise like some kind of dickhead Jimmy: where's yours for being one? Janis: again, YOUR idea to go do it so shut up Janis: matters is it worked Janis: they've been crying about it since, like Jimmy: Me an' all Jimmy: having to 😘 you has that effect Janis: Pussy Jimmy: That why you're so into it? Janis: that's why I'm the better actor and you should try harder Jimmy: every new comment disagrees with you, mate Jimmy: 🏆 and 👑 me Janis: Not really a brag if they can tell how not into you I am, is it Janis: idiot Jimmy: The whole plan is that you 💔 me not 💍👰 Jimmy: idiot Janis: sympathy sex is your thing Janis: gross Jimmy: Dunno, not had any yet Jimmy: fact is I've got the harder job being 💕😍 that's why I'm 🥇 and you ain't Janis: you changed the plan back Janis: stop pissing about Janis: and the fact is that's a matter of opinion and no one has a higher opinion of you than you Jimmy: Me? You came here and you said we just give everyone more of what they want Jimmy: it's starting to sound like it's what you want and you've got that high opinion of me Janis: I'm not even entertaining that level of narcissism and bullshit Janis: because YOU were complaining so much and asking ME to do something about it Janis: but easy, I will tonight Janis: 💔 hit harder with the tease of a reunion Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Sorted then Janis: actually this time Jimmy: if you stop pissing about, yeah Janis: You're a joke, mate Jimmy: Glad you're 😂 'cause I ain't Janis: go 😢 some more Janis: good practice Jimmy: No need, I'm the 🥇 one Janis: at being a little bitch 💔 Janis: take it, I'm good Jimmy: That's my role, can't change it now, you'll get even mardier Janis: No shit, you had your fucking chance Janis: this is the narrative you want, hope it's everything you dreamed of Jimmy: Tah Janis: 💕 Janis: Bye Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: [literally showing up like a 👻 from the shadows to pull her away from that fuckboy before anything can happen okay] Janis: [when you can barely wait to be like 'what the fuck' 'cos you're that mad like better not be no smokers outside 'cos casually running out] Jimmy: [when you're just looking at her like DON'T DO THIS oh honey you're gonna have to use your words] Janis: [like the level of exasperated cannot be overstated in this moment 'what the fuck' but 🔊 and with more feeling] Jimmy: [When you're gonna type it and pretend like it's cos you don't want peeps to hear but really it's cos you can't look at her rn without showing more than you're ready to] Jimmy: You're right Jimmy: it ain't gonna work Jimmy: they'll just throw themselves at me harder Janis: [the awkward moments when she ain't getting her phone out so is just like fuck you then and ready to walk off before she checks without thinking 'cos habit] Janis: yeah well Janis: why should I make that my problem now Jimmy: [shrugs] Jimmy: [but then just when she'd be about ready to fuck off is like 'I fucked up, I get it' softly and also with feeling] Janis: ['just-' pausing to think how to word this so she doesn't go off off but also so he get its 'cos can't do this again tah 'it ain't gonna fucking work if you don't admit you need it to too, I don't even need to know all your fucking reasons, but you clearly have them and so do it so own it. I'm not making you do shit and I won't do shit for you, even if it'd benefit me, yeah, if you're gonna take the piss like that' breathes out and folds her arms like there, done] Janis: I,* Jimmy: ['Alright' unfolds her arms really gently so it's not in a pisstaking way 'I said I get it'] Janis: [is 😠😟 but eventually does a nod like alright 'can I have a cigarette'] Jimmy: [nods too because #always and of course lights it for her and then one for him because needed] Janis: [just smoking in silence but jogging her legs up and down 'cos the casual pent up mess of emotions that ain't coming out tonight honey] Jimmy: So what did I miss? Have I gotta smack that dickhead or what? Janis: [shakes her head 'no one saw anything' nothing happened but point is don't owe him that info] Jimmy: [nods like oh good but we know it's cos he's a jealous mofo and is glad] Janis: who's socials did you have to stalk to get here Janis: 💀👑? Jimmy: I'm CONSTANTLY refreshing her feed ALWAYS babe Jimmy: the work did itself Janis: gutted for you she weren't on the trip Janis: the 💕 story would've written itself Jimmy: I've had my cry about it, it's alright Janis: probably for the best Janis: always competition at parties Janis: idk how welcome you'd be in the 'men are trash' bathroom sob sesh Jimmy: hang on, I'll go find out Jimmy: [doesn't actually move] Janis: [shaking her head but with less anger by now] Janis: not just from the girls, either Janis: [flashes her phone at him of Harry being whiny like come back where u at] Jimmy: [can't stop himself from being 😒 thank god that's his default expression lol] Jimmy: [takes her phone and deletes the messages like a sassy little bitch] Janis: [does fake cry] Janis: wow, they meant so much to me, how could you Janis: [but is like half-smile/smirk so he knows she ain't gonna be the one to start that up again so soon lmao] Jimmy: [puts his arm around her like he's fake comforting her but we know it real] Jimmy: you're in the right place to drown your sorrows Jimmy: come on Jimmy: [moves like he's gonna go inside but waits for her] Janis: [swipes at him like get off but instead moves his arm so it's around her waist so they can walk in like mat as well start now] Jimmy: [when you're buzzing about it but you can pretend its fake so its fine] Janis: better get that drink for me, babe Jimmy: You better come with 'cause you can't bear to be apart from me 💕 Janis: 🙄 Janis: [but actually 😏] Janis: I guess we are that couple rn Jimmy: No need to take a poll but can do Jimmy: [😏 too] Janis: 🤓 Janis: knew it Janis: got WAY too angry when I slated maths Jimmy: Oh please, Northerners can't even read or write, everybody knows that Janis: Can drink though, yeah? Janis: Try to keep up Janis: [goes in to make point like 'Slainte'] Jimmy: [obviously downs whatever drink to make his point that yeah he can] Janis: [get drunk kiddos, that's not risky AT ALL for yous; at least Harry is the type to see she's got a mans and just be smug like aw yeah she still wanted me, hit you up later babe wink wink, so don't need to brawl the idiot necessarily Jimothy but no one would be that mad if you two had to make a scene to show she don't want you boy bye] Jimmy: [what an absolute smug prick how bloody real but yeah Jimmy should totally use that excuse to be extra because obvs wants to smack him and is jealous af that something might have happened] Janis: [we know it's the typical shit party gotta make it fun somehow] Jimmy: [literally and the only other 'excuse' they need are that Mia and Co are also there so] Janis: [imagine how 😏 they'd have been when she turned up just her and how 😒 when he shows up to meet her lmao] Jimmy: [sucks to suck gals] Janis: [chin chin] Jimmy: what did you eat? You taste like Jimmy: [when you trail off so she don't know if its a compliment or an insult but we do] Janis: don't be ridiculous Janis: don't eat the day before a party Janis: rule #22, like Jimmy: you don't play by or keep up with their rules Jimmy: unless it has been that long Jimmy: did you get to the top of the lobotomy waiting list then? Janis: [shrugs like maybe, boy 😏] Janis: you snooze, I lose a good chunk of my frontal lobe Jimmy: [shrugs back] Jimmy: ah well, give me an easier life that Janis: 🤞 me and all Janis: or I'll have to sue, yeah Janis: #richgirltingz Jimmy: [shakes his head like he's so #overit but is 😏] Jimmy: how much 💸💸💸 were that outfit? Janis: well idk, if I say a months worth of tips is that impressive or nah Janis: 💔 poor boy Jimmy: Depends Jimmy: You mean my tips or the other dickheads that work there? Janis: depends who's the favourite, of course Jimmy: you don't need your frontal lobe to work that one out Janis: alright, dickhead Janis: glad they're compensating you for your time Jimmy: [nods over to where Mia is 👀🔪 at them] Jimmy: didn't 👑🏆 myself Janis: [waves like hey babes and gestures like 'come over' 'cos she obvs won't] Janis: got it's perks then Jimmy: I draw the line at a fake threesome Janis: [snorts and makes a face like desgustang] Janis: I reckon she's had enough she'd know the difference Jimmy: I get it, she keeps it #real yeah? 😎😎😎 Janis: 🤤🤤🤤 on that in your own time Jimmy: don't reckon I can Jimmy: if anyone asks the 😍😍😍 are all yours Janis: 👌 Janis: better move outta their line of sight so there's no confusion Janis: [head to the kitchen] Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [get more drinks down you, what could go wrong kids] Janis: [dickhead should be in here 'cos can't go anywhere lads] Janis: [downing that drink like] Jimmy: [likewise because fuming] Janis: [fun and games] Janis: this is so dry Janis: you been to an actual decent party here yet? Jimmy: Have you? Jimmy: [cos that's the tea they're never decent] Janis: [😏 like fairplay] Jimmy: [making himself comfortable in that kitchen rn downing drinks (which isn't a bad idea oh no) cos that fuckboy has gotta leave first can't show weakness] Janis: took the challenge to heart, mate Janis: [keeping up which ain't gonna come back to haunt ya] Jimmy: accepted it Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: drink to that Jimmy: [cue to down another drink of course] Janis: you live far from here? Janis: if I'm gonna have to carry you, like Jimmy: you have your 💪 cut out same time as your 🧠? Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Janis: 🖕 Janis: you're just so big Jimmy: send that tweet anytime you fancy Janis: [does] Janis: 🥇 Jimmy: any excuse to reply with how well hard I am an' all Jimmy: [does] Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 😂 Janis: such an idiot Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 💕 my idiot Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: this song is the worst Janis: gonna go change it Janis: [to the living room girl] Jimmy: [when you pull her back for a sec so you can kiss her 'goodbye' dramatically for your audience] Janis: miss u already bb Jimmy: obvs Janis: [assume she puts something decent on lol] Janis: don't get lost Jimmy: [comes back through carrying drinks, gives her one and knocks his against it as if he approves of the song choice but actually like I didn't get lost well done me and kisses her again for the #reunited mood] Janis: [going harder this time 'cos you can pretend it's 'cos Mia and co are in this room] Jimmy: [lowkey picking her up (but in the way she's still standing her feet are just off the floor) whilst because you ain't forgot what she said about carrying you] Janis: [when you whisper something pisstake-y about how strong he is in his ear for the look of the thing] Jimmy: [😏] Janis: ['just how bad are you at dancing then?' still in his 👂] Jimmy: ['How good are you?' in hers because he means that he needs all the help he can get but he also means he wants to see that, we know] Janis: [nods, 'just let me do the work' 'cos lbr dudes can get away with that if the girl is decent, leading him to where peeps are dancing so they can get lost in the crowd a bit but we know bitches be 👀] Jimmy: [Save him Janis we gotta keep this #goals but least the way he'd be feeling it would be so] Janis: [we all know it would be regardless like more than they be anticipating] Jimmy: [100% because that chemistry 5ever] Janis: [lowkey 😳 but it'd be literally hot in there so you're safe] Jimmy: [the constant 🐘 in the room of how into each other you are in ways that you literally can't fake, okay lads] Janis: [gonna have to break this up somehow] Jimmy: [someone could easily spill a drink on one of them by being a drunken dickhead cos always happens] Janis: [take that one for the team, then he can 'pretend' to be all gentlemanly and help] Jimmy: [close to a cold shower as you're getting rn, so offended on her behalf though cos her outfit is 🔥] Janis: [honestly rude, get another drink whilst you clean up in the bathroom] Janis: fucking hate parties Jimmy: [ooh if it's a lad he can kick off because never got to with Harry and he's got those pent up emotions] Jimmy: we can go Janis: [totally, she ain't gonna stop him, not that 'he's not worth it' type of bitch lol] Janis: not 'til the drink runs dry Janis: shits free, think on Jimmy: alright, pisshead Janis: what's the matter, not feeling 🥇 no more? Jimmy: [joins her in the bathroom to clean up the 🩸 from going too hard on some poor random which is an answer in itself cos obvs won] Janis: [trying to look unphased with almost total success but you catch his eye in the mirror, pass him a towel to fuck up soz whoever's gaff this is they do not care] Jimmy: [checking her out in the mirror too anyway because let's assume she's hitting that cliche where you gotta remove your top to clean it in the sink] Jimmy: [so glad you two are alone in a confined space rn yep] Janis: ['course, just be semi-clothes nbd you know each other like that mhmm] Jimmy: [don't think about what a pro he'd be at getting blood out #thanksIan] Janis: ['not got us kicked out? must be popular'] Jimmy: [shrugs] Janis: [turn 'round so she's actually looking at him, not via the mirror, assesses the damage gently and nods 'you'll survive'] Jimmy: ['weren't nowt but a little scrap, he might an' all'] Janis: ['outfit weren't that pricey, like' just casually still holding his face like bitch you done checking 'we can actually go now, if you wanna..'] Jimmy: [shamelessly looks her up and down 'reckon we can keep that between me and you' WHEN YOU'RE JUST SAYING SHE LOOKS GOOD AS HELL BYE] Janis: ['we could do that too' just gotta hold that eye contact and take a lil step towards him like challenge accepted] Jimmy: [when you only break the eye contact to stare at her lips #goodideaboynotdangerousatall] Janis: ['go rob me a top or we can't go anywhere' when your tone makes it sound like that's an option too tho] Jimmy: [gives her his like walking around topless is an option for him either] Jimmy: [we all know you want to just so she has to give him lovebites on all that bare skin mhmmm I see you boy] Janis: [lols but shamelessly checking him out too now nothing to lose yeah lads 'so chivalrous, you' and you know the others have faded now, checking for them too like this will never do 'so you reckon you could take a few more bruises for me then?'] Jimmy: ['Death pact's tomorrow' like she's gonna freeze it's April not December boyyy but we know meant to be a nod to how hungover they might be if they keep drinking so hard ha and also him saying he'll live/do your worst #notgonnaregretthatohno] Janis: ['won't be in any state to hold you to that, no danger' when you're just scanning his bod plotting where you're gonna do 'em like this is very serious 'don't want 'em to think we've been up here doing nowt, yeah'] Jimmy: [when you're just trying not to die before she's even touched you #mood so you can only shake your head cos can't trust your voice not to betray you rn] Janis: ['got my vampire rep to protect if nothing else' when you done giving reasons why you're about to go in 'cos we all know you just really wanna] Jimmy: ['you earnt that one if nowt else' god's speed Jimothy cos this is gonna be a MOMENT] Janis: [all over that neck and chest down to his stomach 'cos you're 'drunk' (barely) and have no chill, coming back up to his ear to do a throwback one and then being all 'you taste like-' whilst you're there] Jimmy: [RIP him because it feels that good AND you got dragged by your own 'diss' #amazing but of course he has to hit her with a 'what?' every time even if he has to struggle to get the word out] Janis: [just a look like 'you know what' and hoisting yourself up to sit on the sink, expectant, 'you want 'em to think you're as bad a fuck as you are a dancer? better do something this time'] Jimmy: [oh how the tables have turned because a challenge like that is obviously gonna be accepted whenever but now he's gotta go harder than he's ever because the fragile male ego] Janis: [lmao #whoops regret it in the morning lads] Jimmy: [I feel like a thigh lovebite or something to that effect like whatever is clothing feasible but still risque af could be her boob if she's got trousers on idk) is a step too far so therefore he and I must #calm down but actually don't ever] Janis: [no hiding what a moment that is even if she's like 'have fun showing that one off, boy' 😏 after 'cos breathless af still, someone is gonna have to boot this door down lowkey or this is gonna get so far beyond what can be for the 'audience'] Jimmy: [makes me die like WHO'S looking that closely not even Mia] Janis: [she wishes] Jimmy: [bahaha] Jimmy: [but yeah take that interruption as the moment to wander topless through the party to 'find her a shirt'] Janis: [oh the scandal, y'all will see that tho, welcome] Jimmy: [the state of them both literally give them that oscar and then get them a room] Janis: [when you ain't about to wait in the bathroom like you're so ashamed 'cos not a mood so just strut out like sup] Jimmy: [imagine being that confident as a 15 year old or ever] Janis: [honestly, your sister gonna be so fuming again] Jimmy: [gotta send him outside to calm down but if anyone asks he just really needs that post hook up 🚬] Janis: [you can go get a drink, bab, for likewise] Jimmy: [lowkey hope Harry is still around to 👀] Janis: [no doubt he is, don't 👀 too much of her tah] Jimmy: [just enough so you know you still ain't wanted boy] Janis: [maybe mean but is real tbh he should hook up with one of grace's friends maybe other skinny bitch 'cos he can't go back alone if Janis ain't, that kinda boy also] Jimmy: [absolutely and Grace could hook up with one of his friends just to make it really incestuous and legit like are you Rio and Buster no, don't need to be going round the houses like that] ] Janis: [he would've probably got with all her mates by the time they get together like oh really grace, this is the boy you 'love' alright] Jimmy: [Yeah unless any of them are really below his standards, kill me tbh] Janis: [lbr, some of them are just filler, like tonight, soz gurl] Janis: if you don't hurry up, think your girl about to get snatched Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: stand corrected, he's gone for the prettier 💀 Jimmy: thank feck for that Jimmy: stopped breathing for a bit then Janis: says you Janis: my gaff is gonna be consolation HQ now 💔😥 Janis: and that'll be the 🚬 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: it'll be the 🧛💕 Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't talk such a big game, and I'll go easier on you Jimmy: keep it #goals or I'll dump you Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt baby Janis: oh will you Janis: didn't agree to that plan either, tah Jimmy: plans change, mate Jimmy: what else am I doing here, like Janis: 😑 did you listen to me at all, dickhead Janis: got to put it to the committee and then wait 3-5 working days before making any more changes Jimmy: Nah, I were too busy being 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: Mhmm Janis: not your fault Janis: 🩸 supply only gonna go so far with me, mate Janis: can't expect you to be brains and beauty Jimmy: that your new twitter bio? Janis: try tinder Jimmy: 👍 Janis: a comeback and a tip Janis: use fake name and no headshots, obvs Jimmy: your head is bigger than your tits though, girl Jimmy: might wanna think again Janis: haaa Janis: 🖕 Janis: not everyone's type is your type, trust Jimmy: if I had a type you'd be the last to know Janis: you give yourself away all the time Janis: ain't hard Jimmy: can't be 💕 for anyone else when my 😍 have to be on you Janis: exactly Janis: all the shit you find so 🤢 about me just shows your hand in the opposite Janis: #duh Jimmy: #whenshebelievesowtyousay Jimmy: 💕 Janis: lie about the 😍 Janis: why lie about that? Jimmy: Why tell you the truth? Janis: 🙄 'cos if it's a lie, I know either way Jimmy: bollocks Janis: I ain't stupid Janis: or a lad Janis: know when someone fancies me Jimmy: I'm a stupid lad and me too Jimmy: so what? Janis: so I know you don't, god Jimmy: You don't know or need to know nowt about me Jimmy: been through that Janis: it ain't about you Janis: all about me, obviously Jimmy: Gracie will be thrilled that you wanna twin with her Janis: no doubt Jimmy: crack on Janis: 👌 that's the plan Janis: if you see people running past, this kid's parents are coming back Janis: it's carrying on at Liam R's, if you want to Jimmy: can't Janis: alright Jimmy: if you keep your real 💕 off socials, will be Janis: never said I was going there Janis: so if that's your reason for not, feel free to RSVP Jimmy: never asked if you were Jimmy: got somewhere else to be, tah Janis: makes two of us Janis: na night Jimmy: you not gonna do a proper goodbye? 💔 Jimmy: [so not for the fans and we all know it boy stop] Janis: who for, skeleton gang having their bones jumped literal Jimmy: 'cause they don't have their phones in one hand even with a 🍆 in the other or owt Jimmy: but alright Janis: 😷 Janis: good thing I'm an oscar-winning actress because that's really off-putting Jimmy: come here then Janis: front or back Jimmy: more people out front Janis: sensible Janis: not in such a rush we need to hop the back fence, only his ma and da, not garda Janis: see you there then, I guess Jimmy: 👌 Janis: actually, fuck it Janis: change of plan Janis: do you one better Jimmy: ? Janis: pretend i'm coming back to yours Janis: cover for whatever we're both actually up to, yeah Jimmy: Good thing I'm 🥇 enough to pretend mine is somewhere #goals Janis: someone with a lesser ego nicked your phone or what Janis: is as far as all the girls are concerned, champ, come on Jimmy: I get it, you don't want the competition but my phone ain't worth nicking either Jimmy: soz rich girl Janis: psh Janis: 🥇 Janis: just hoping someone more my type picked it up but sadly Jimmy: stop pissing about and prove it then Jimmy: paparazzi won't be hanging around all night Janis: you underestimate just how chatty those girls are Janis: but won't keep you waiting any longer than you can bear 💕 Janis: [post up] Jimmy: oi rude, I were talking about me in the 1st place Jimmy: number 1 fan, remember Jimmy: [take that last chance to be extra kids we all know you're frustrated af after earlier] Janis: [does camera flash thing with hands like now's your chance] Jimmy: [obvs does take pics of her because she's beautiful and who wouldn't] Janis: [just a casual set of her getting closer then taking his phone from him so they can make out] Jimmy: [#mood] Janis: [gonna break 'em up this time by the kid's parents showing to bollock 'em so they can lol at that before doing a legger] Jimmy: [good idea boo] Janis: [when you're now alone though like walking like well] Jimmy: [when you should just walk off immediately but don't and offer her a 🚬 instead] Janis: [nodding your thanks] Janis: break off before we get to yours but few people coming this way with so Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when your phone is blowing up 'cos Harry is done with whatserface] Jimmy: [when you're less able to hide how 😒 you are because been drinking and also frustrated af by all the moments and ensuing cockblocking] Janis: [probably keeps trying to facetime her 'cos he's pissed so puts her hand out to stop him for a sec and pulls his top to take a pic of some of the lovebites] Janis: sorry Jimmy: [when you shrug but your face is saying chat to dickheads on your own time] Janis: [shrugs back like i'm getting rid needs must] Jimmy: [shrugs back like well that's what these are for and then takes her phone off her to take better pics cos that art hoe] Janis: [when you roll your eyes and are gonna start taking the piss but then you gotta 'not bad' face at him] Janis: if you wanna take a really artsy dick pic later, I'll be sure to forward it to him Jimmy: Alright Janis: not even gonna accuse me of wanting to 👀 myself? Janis: slacking Jimmy: goes without saying, babe Janis: with how many times I've allegedly seen it, maybe Jimmy: and with how bad you wanna Jimmy: just like all the rest, you Janis: fuck off Janis: say whatever else you like but fuck that Janis: ❄ cunt Janis: you said Jimmy: didn't you deny it? Jimmy: can't remember Janis: regardless Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: Want me to have a word to him? Janis: i can handle him Jimmy: not what I asked Janis: s'all good Janis: he's a twat, but a harmless one Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 'course if he goes public with his thirst then feel free but don't reckon he will Jimmy: if he does he'll have to compete with me and 💀👑 Jimmy: might scrap a 🥉 Janis: if those are my options the death pact starts and ends now Janis: ⚰ bye Jimmy: miss you already Janis: erm, miss Janis: death pact, mate Jimmy: 👻 me Jimmy: ain't fuck all you can do to me Janis: wanna bet Jimmy: wanna take the challenge? Janis: your funeral, baby Jimmy: yours Jimmy: you never had an invite to mine, girl Janis: don't reckon our fam will go for sharing a grave Janis: starcrossed like that Janis: a 🗡in my 💔 Janis: so cold Jimmy: my dad would, it'd be well cheaper Jimmy: til he met you anyway Jimmy: 👀 on your non white corpse Janis: he wants on top of me, it's fine Janis: be a squeeze and an awkward story for the archaeologists but we'll make it work Jimmy: 👍 Janis: as long as I ain't gotta mass grave with my family, give a fuck Janis: bad enough in life, not committing me to an eternity of it thanks Jimmy: Agree with you on that one if you don't get an even bigger head over it Janis: wrong twin Janis: the one who craves approval went thatta way Jimmy: Bollocks, you love a 🏆 Jimmy: call it a win Janis: a 🌹 by any other name, dickhead Janis: not from you Jimmy: 💔 Janis: [shows him a pic Mia has sent being 😏 with some lad in bed, like not showing anything but you get the mood] Janis: wrong number or? Jimmy: 🤢🤢💀💀 Jimmy: 💔 you ain't actually staying now #picforpic Janis: I know, right? Janis: hide the face/colour correct the bitch you are having over? Janis: she'll never know Jimmy: artsy black and white shot is always a #mood Janis: 'course Janis: [silence like you didn't bring it up lol] Jimmy: gonna have to take the risk that she reckons I'm also into bestiality unless you wanna 🐕sit Janis: not your wingman, tah Jimmy: I'll live Janis: dog might not, depends on the breed, sickfuck Jimmy: She's too young, gotta give it a bit Jimmy: keep you updated 💕 Janis: again, no tah Janis: already got enough lads giving me their play by play Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: [does a there, there kinda pat] Janis: [smacks him away] Janis: didn't say I didn't like it, just don't want it from you Jimmy: you ain't getting nowt from me Janis: good Janis: [looks around to make sure the crowd has all filtered out] Janis: ok, this is where I get off Jimmy: In a bit Janis: [👋] Jimmy: [watching her go as standard] Janis: [is going mcvickers 'cos we said it'd be nearish and fuck going home but can't be out at the park on the off-chance someone sees then the cover is blown] Jimmy: [we know he's just going home and why #whenyougottaparentyoursiblings] Janis: [if only they knew lmao] Jimmy: [oh kids]