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#but i think we let ourselves get way too chummy with machines
aks3raao1 · 3 years
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Danganronpa shorts: Luck in a mansion
It was a rather cloudy day when Kazuichi had an idea. A rather strange and disastrous idea, if I, Hajime Hinata, were being honest.
"So, let's go to this mansion! I heard it was scientifically interesting!"
Kazuichi Soda was a rather cowardly man and his defining characteristic was crushing over a woman (and making her uncomfortable with his advances) who would never return his feelings. He was truly hopeless in that regard and prone to fits of jealousy towards anyone who got close to her.
However, he had another side to him. He was also the Ultimate Mechanic and had been accepted by Hope's Peak for that reason. Thus, whenever he came upon a machine, his first instinct was to attempt to open it up and see how it worked. I suppose his fascination with machines in this manner is somewhat similar to Nagito's fascination with hope.
Speaking of which—
"What a hopeful idea, Kazuichi! I am sure the scientific mysteries of the mansion would give rise to hope when solved by someone as great as you!" Nagito Komaeda said, a little starry eyed. Well, that wasn't unexpected since he appeared to try and find hope....virtually everywhere.
However, it was an unspoken thing in our class that we are likelier to be less confident in things after Nagito's over blown praises than more confident unless it benefited the person being praised.
Now, it benefitted Kazuichi.
"Yeah, we all might find something for ourselves too!!! Besides it would be a fun outing!!!"
"Your hope for this outing is so beautiful, Kazuichi, I am sure it will turn out as the Ultimate Outing!" Nagito went on, ecstatic.
"Errr, yeah," Kazuichi looked mildly uncomfortable at that and I swallowed a retort of, "A taste of your own medicine, huh?" and instead said,
"Well, happy outing, you too, then."
"Wait no, you are coming with us as well," Kazuichi said, "No way in hell am I going with this weirdo alone."
I wonder what made him think that I wanted to go alone with two weirdos who were drunk on their respective obsessions. Atleast Kazuichi was less likelier to murder people due to said obsession but still.
"So Hajime is in," Kazuichi said, not waiting for my answer.
"Wait, I never said—"
"—however it appears that you need four people according to the ticket, Kazuichi, so it appears that you need to invite another person," Nagito said, completely ignoring me and looking over the paper Kazuichi was clutching in his hand.
"I do, yes," Kazuichi said, "Miss Sonia would you—"
She pretended as if he did not exist.
Downtrodden Kazuichi went on, "I can kick out Nagito if you want—"
Still no response.
Utterly crushed, Kazuichi turned back to us.
"So.....," his enthusiasm was noticeably less than before, "I...."
"Don't give up hope, Kazuichi! I am sure something would turn up for you at the mansion!"
This caused me to feel like Nagito just wanted to go to that super mysterious mansion. Well, I suppose my own curiosity had been spiked as well due to the ambiguous way Kazuichi framed it.
"You think?" Kazuichi said, looking slightly more hopeful.
"Absolutely! There's hope in that mansion!"
Slightly uncomfortable, Kazuichi scratched his neck.
"Well, I suppose I can't turn this down......but we need another person."
He looked around the place and I sent a silent prayer to the unfortunate person who would grab his eye.
"Hey, Fuyuhiko—!"
Now I felt sorry for Kazuichi.
Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu was the Ultimate Yakuza and rather foul mouthed and brash despite his small stature. He was also the last person who would get dragged into such a thing.
Or so had I thought, woefully underestimating Kazuichi's persuasion skills.
"What is it?" Fuyuhiko snapped, "What do you want?"
"Hey, want to go with us to this mansion?" Kazuichi said, walking over and sitting down in front of him with a wide shark like grin.
"...who's us?" Fuyuhiko said.
"Hajime, me and Nagito."
"....I am not going."
"Why, do you want to make out with Peko or something?"
"No, what the fuck."
"Come on, please, we just need another member and you are perfect for that."
"I said I am not going—"
Kazuichi proceeded to whine and annoy the living hell out of Fuyuhiko for the next one hour, causing him to give in. Evidently, his dedication to machines was more than his personal pride.
~
A day later, we were all standing in front of the mansion.
The weather was still cloudy. The weather forecast hadn't informed us about any rain, but considering that Nagito was tagging along.....well anything was possible. Already he was sporting bandaged arms when he had arrived today and seemed apprehensive to go with us. However Kazuichi had dragged him along anyways, with a, "No backsies."
I had asked him about the bandaged arms and his reply had been,
"Ahaha, it's the bad luck for the good luck that an Ultimate would invite such a worthless person like me........all I would do is bring along bad luck, however I am sure the Ultimates can overcome that."
If just going on a fun trip punished him in this manner, I suppose I can see why he is the way he is. In a way. I don't think I will ever come close to understanding Nagito Komaeda.
"So, we are staying here for a week, okay?" Kazuichi said, bringing out the keys. They were huge and fit for such an ancient mansion like this.
He unlocked the door. We pushed it together, causing it to swing back with a groan.
Silence.
That was the first thing I noted about this place. How absolutely silent it was.
The next thing I noticed was how dark it was.
Fuyuhiko took out a lighter to light the torches, looking creeped out himself.
"Oi, Kazuichi, I thought this was a scientific mystery, not a test of courage in a haunted house," he said, grumbling.
"...a scientific mystery is what they called it," Kazuichi said, looking confused himself.
"Ah, I am sure we can use science to investigate a paranormal mystery! If it can be solved using science, then it makes it a scientific mystery!" Nagito pointed out.
"I suppose so."
"I still have a bad feeling about this place.....," I muttered, going to help Fuyuhiko with the lights, "Besides, do we have a map?"
"Right in front of you, Hajime," Nagito chirped and I turned around to see that indeed, there was a map right in front of me.
"It looks like your hidden Talent could be Ultimate Map Summoner," he joked next, going to check the map in question.
"Lay off that already."
I might have forgotten my Ultimate Talent but that didn't give him the permission to rub it into my face at every turn.
Kazuichi used the light of the torches to check the keys.
"The numbers inscribed on the keys correspond to that on the map," Nagito spoke. This guy had some seriously good skills of observation. For a brief moment, I wondered why he isn't the Ultimate Detective instead.
"I see," Kazuichi went to check the map as well and began matching the keys to the map, "The map is incomplete....it looks too small for such a huge place.....wait, it's burnt off at the end."
"....ah."
Having finished lighting the torches, Fuyuhiko and I went to check the map in question as well. To allow Fuyuhiko to see it, Nagito moved back.
"Well, I am sure Ultimates such as yourselves would be able to figure out the rest of the map."
"Dude, we none of us are the Ultimate Mansion Map Imaginer over here," Kazuichi said, rolling his eyes.
Nagito looked at me.
"Definitely not," I said, "The map is extremely weird."
"I wonder which dumbass thought it would be a great idea to burn this map off," Fuyuhiko grumbled, "This better not be a prank Kazuichi."
"Why don't the lot of you believe me," Kazuichi spoke, "I saw this place at the same time as you all did. I originally got the ticket from my uncle who asked me to visit this place with three other people."
"Highly suspicious uncle, I see," Fuyuhiko said, "Well it would be the best to explore what areas we can explore and keep our stuff in the bedrooms."
"There are two bedrooms," I said squinting at the map, "Or that's what I can get from this map anyways."
"Well then we have to share it!" Kazuichi said, most cheerfully.
".....what," the rest of us chorused.
None of us had ever heard such a suggestion before.
".....share one bedroom between us, isn't that the most obvious conclusion?" Kazuichi tried again.
"I am too worthless to—," Nagito started up.
"We aren't that chummy—," Fuyuhiko spoke up.
"...sounds rather embarassing," I said.
Faced with our combined refusal, Kazuichi took a step back in exasperation.
"Then do you all geniuses have a better idea????"
"Yes," Fuyuhiko spoke before any of us could, "Explore the mansion and find atleast two more bedrooms."
".......you guys are so dedicated to being tsundere that it's honestly really sad," Kazuichi said, checking the keys again.
"Hey, what was that for—," I started.
"How fucking dare you," Fuyuhiko growled.
".....Uh, since none of us want to share rooms, I suppose we should split up and search? After all, it would be troublesome if we got lost," Nagito said, trying to quell us. It worked, apparently since Kazuichi nodded appreciatively.
"Nagito and Hajime can go together," he said, giving half the keys to me, "And Fuyuhiko can come with me."
Suffice to say, neither Fuyuhiko nor I were too happy about our respective partners, however we chose not to argue.
Kazuichi pushed open the door to the entrance hall which had electric lights on for some reason.
"Let's go."
~~~~~~
"It would be rather interesting if your hidden Talent could come into play here," Nagito said while we searched the kitchen. It was, shockingly enough, filled with modern amenities, which caused me to wonder what the hell was up with the first corridor. It was probably for show, though. And Nagito was still hung over my Talent since we started walking together, making me wish I had brought a duct tape to seal his mouth with.
"I don't see why you are so obsessed with my Talent," I said, searching the microwave. It had a single roasted chicken. It looked rather appetizing.
"What, don't you want to know what Talent got you into Hope's Peak? Maybe your hidden Talent is Ultimate Amnesia for all we know...."
"That's a mental disorder, not something to excel at," I grumbled, taking the chicken out.
"Hm...?" Nagito appeared to have caught smell of the roasted chicken and came over, ".......how odd."
"Well—," my sentence remained incomplete as a light came out of the open microwave and sucked Nagito to God knows where like something out of a sci fi movie.
The chicken dropped from my hand in shock.
"NAGITO?????"
~~~~~~
Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu with anyone who wasn't Peko Pekoyama happened to make a rather caustic pair.
Especially right now, when he was searching a bedroom that resembled that of a hospital with Kazuichi Souda. Kazuichi had been needling him on tips to get a girl (Sonia Nevermind, the Ultimate Princess) to like him, because apparently he was supposed to be an expert on that somehow since he had Peko. He tried to explain that they had just been raised from birth and that they were best friends for that reason. Kazuichi looked downtrodden at that, prompting him to ask whether he had brought him along just to question that.
"Well," he said rather shamelessly, "I can't ask Hajime or Nagito for that, can I?"
Fuyuhiko felt the beginnings of a severe migraine in his head.
He would have to use all his patience in the following week to not murder this guy on spot.
"GUYS—," a rather shrill voice rang out, causing the both of them to jump and bump their heads against one another.
Hajime had come and he was looking extremely frightened and entirely out of his element. Hajime was someone who was extremely likely to faint at shocking events and tended to react strongly to abnormal things, so it was not a shock to see him freaked out. However, what was a shock was the absence of the cotton candy haired guy running after him in attempts of placating him.
Which led Fuyuhiko to assume that the reason was definitely Nagito.
"What happened?" he asked.
"Nagito got sucked inside a microwave and disappeared," Hajime said, panting.
".....pardon the fuck?"
".....This must be the scientific mystery they talked about in the brochure," Kazuichi said, eyes wide in excitement and slight fear, "Nagito's luck caused him to find it."
~~
It was a bland tasteless white room, whiter than even his own hair. Equipment was scattered around on the metal tables. Cupboards overflowed with bundles of paper and files. There was a projector at the far corner of the room.
Nagito Komaeda groggily rubbed at his face with his hands.
Ultimate Luck was truly something.
He turned his throbbing head around to check behind him. There was a gramaphone's trumpet there, sitting innocently. However, he was perfectly aware of exactly how innocent it was.
He looked at the room again. It was huge and there were no doors nor windows. It was, to say, an entirely sealed room apart from the gramaphone record that he assumed served as the pathway from the kitchen's microwave to this room.
He closed his eyes and exhaled.
[1/2]
Kazuichi is hopeless beyond sjjsjwjwjw
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dorothydelgadillo · 6 years
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The Website 6: Key Characteristics of the Perfect Inbound Website
It's safe to say that most - if not all - businesses want a website that brings them perfectly packaged, highly qualified inbound leads. That is the most common goal we hear from our clients here at IMPACT, and why so many marketers pour hours of time and thousands of dollars into their websites.
So how do we achieve this goal? I’ll tell you, but first a quick story.
Last year as my son’s second birthday approached, I remember freaking out just a bit about what to do for his birthday party.
I have proudly attended many a toddler birthday party, and I think everyone has seen the ridiculously amazing pinterest birthday party ideas out there (all the moms out there know what I’m talking about). The over-the-top, no-way-is-it-DIY, must-cost-thousands-of-dollars type of parties have apparently coined a real term called “pinterest stress”.
Meanwhile, I fail just trying to glue two popsicle sticks together.
So, needless to say, I was stressing just a little bit about what to do for his birthday. Then a realization struck! My son was turning TWO. He could care less about decorations and party themes. His favorite things were sugar, rolling in mud, chasing our chickens, and playing “dinosaur” with his friends.
So I stopped everything. I gave myself a virtual slap in the face and reminded myself that his birthday party was for HIM and not for anyone else.
I made a perfect toddler party, and NONE of it was pinterest-worthy, but my son thought it was the most perfect day in existence. I made banana bread instead of cake, we dug holes in the backyard, the kids held monster truck toy races, and the adults drank mimosas (because let’s face it, some of the party is for the adults 😉😏).
Ok, so why am I talking about toddler parties?
It’s simple really.
As businesses, we suffer from the exact same problem when it comes to our websites. We have a really hard time getting over our pride and remembering that our websites aren’t for US, they are for OUR CUSTOMERS.
I was spending all of my energy focusing on how I could make everyone else think I was a great mom by throwing a picture-perfect party when I should have simply been focusing on how I could throw the perfect party for my son so HE thought I was a great mom.
There is a huge difference between those two goals.
Similarly, the way to build the perfect inbound website that generates the results you want is to stop focusing on your own ego and start thinking about who our website is really for.
There are 6 key drivers that make a great inbound website and will take your marketing results to the next level.
1. Sales Driven
If you've been thinking that your website is a marketing tool, I've got news for you: you're wrong. You need to shift your mindset and think of your website as a sales tool.
Your website is your best salesperson. It is available 24/7, it never asks for a raise, and it is always collecting data on your most qualified customers for you. Really, what else could you ask for from a sales rep?
Now, if you start to think of your website this way, you need to ask yourself one question. Have you really invested everything you should into it?
The best ways to ensure that your website can become a conversion machine are to ensure your sales team views the website as the most valuable resource they have and your website visitors have very easy ways of self identifying as prospects.
To make your website a valuable sales tool, all you have to do is answer the questions that your reps answer in the sales process on the site itself. Then, tell your sales people about it.
Here is an example of the Sales Content Directory that our Director of Web & Interactive Content, Liz Murphy, keeps updated for our sales team on a weekly basis. It gives them a one-stop shop to search for helpful resources to send to prospects.
If your sales team isn't using your website every day, you have failed to create the perfect inbound website.
2. Customer Driven
There are lots of ways you can make your website more friendly for your customers that you might not be doing right now, but you should be obsessing over how to make your website more customer friendly on a daily basis.
Did you know that 70% of the buying decision is typically made by a consumer before they ever speak to a sales rep or go to purchase a product? This means most of the purchase process is totally out of your direct control.
Nonetheless, there ARE ways to guide that first 70% of the conversation.
The number one reason people choose to buy - from any business - is based on trust. So not only do you have to make sure your prospects trust you before they will buy, but you have to figure out how to build that trust during the 70% of the buying process that happens before you even talk to them.
Whew, that is a lot to ask of your website!
Luckily, there are a few simple rules that you can follow to do just that.
Focus on Providing Value: Every page and every word on your website should be there because it provides value to your audience. Your website visitors don’t want a bunch of fluff. Give them real value and educate them in exchange for the time they’ve spent reading the words on your page. Providing value is the first step in building the trust you need oh so badly.
Answer their Questions: Answer the REAL questions your audience has. Don’t shy away from the topics that most businesses are afraid to talk about like pricing or your competitors. Really focus on making sure you are thinking like a customer and answer every question you know they will ask you in the sales process. And here’s the most important part: make sure you answer it honestly. You can’t build trust based on lies.
Use Video: People don’t buy from businesses, they buy from people. Video is the number one way to build trust with your audience and humanize your brand. In today’s environment, incorporating video on your website is table stakes if you want to see measurable, lasting results. There are 7 types of videos that every website must have: 80% videos, bio videos for your team, product or service videos, landing page videos, customer journey videos, videos about the claims you make as a brand, and a video that details who you are not a good fit for (yes, seriously).
Make the Customer the Hero: As one of my favorite country songs so aptly reminds us, our website visitors want us to talk about them, not ourselves. Use “you” statements in your content rather than “us” or “we” statements as often as possible. Customers want to see themselves in your website, not you.
youtube
3. Search Driven
The next group you need to be really chummy with are search engines. They are the ones who bring the customers to your website. Luckily it is really easy to be friends with them because they have the same goal as you: providing value to your customer.
To get Google and the other search engines to send lots and lots of visitors to your website, focus on providing value. (Good thing we already covered all that up in the previous section.)
With that taken care of, there are some ways that you can now structure the value you provide in order to help Google more easily understand who they should be sending your way.
You are already doing a great job of writing valuable, educational content for your audience, right? Now all you have to do is make sure you are using the right keywords and organizing your content into clusters, grouped by topic area, to help Google understand where your expertise lies.
Learn more about how to do this exceptionally well from, keyword research to content execution, with our comprehensive guide.
Some of the other factors that Google looks at in order to determine how much value your website is providing are:
User Engagement: Google looks really closely at how your current visitors are interacting with your website as a strong indicator of how happy other visitors they send your way will be. It does this using metrics like Time on Site and Page Depth. The idea is that if people are spending a lot of time on your website and navigating through multiple pages, they are likely finding lots of valuable content and are happy with their experience.
Content Freshness: The frequency with which your website is updated is also a big factor in Google’s ranking. The idea here is that newer content is most likely more relevant to potential visitors than older content, and the longer you’ve been regularly producing content, the more likely it is that you are a valuable source of information. Thus, having a good balance of a domain that has been around for a while and plenty of regularly updated, fresh content is the perfect mix.
And, lastly, Google really cares that your users are having a positive experience with your website regardless of what device (mobile, desktop, etc.) they are visiting from. In order to ensure that Google knows your visitors will be happy, there are some Technical SEO basics you should focus on:
Website Load Speed: Google cares a lot about how fast your website loads because it knows that users are impatient and will get frustrated by things that take too long. As a result, it is less likely to send traffic your way if your website takes too long to give them information. You can test your website using www.webpagetest.org to see how quickly your site loads. Ideally, it should be under 2 seconds.
Mobile First and Responsive Design: More and more users are visiting websites from mobile devices, so Google has been cracking down hard on websites that have poor mobile user experiences. Make sure your user experience is flawless on any device to steer clear of problems here.
Site Security: SSL certificates are no longer negotiable. Not only do website visitors expect them at this point, Google will seriously ding you for not having one. So just get one, please.
4. Experience Driven
This characteristic goes hand-in-hand with being customer friendly, but it deserves it’s own category because it is so important. Treat users that come to your website like you would customers in a store.
I know when I go to a store with my toddler in tow (maybe to buy birthday party supplies), I want to be able to find what I need as fast as possible, and with as little effort as possible.
Your website visitors want the same thing.
Make it as easy as possible for them to find the thing they want with the least amount of effort on their part.
Make sure the entire experience is built to delight them from start to finish. The design of the website should speak to what they like (again, not what you like). My toddler’s design aesthetic is very different than my grandmother’s. Anything I’d design for them would be wildly different from each other, and wildly different than what I personally like.
To provide the simplest experience and avoid overwhelming your visitors, make sure your website is free of clutter and doesn’t provide them with too many options at any one moment. Create an experience that is familiar to them while finding small, pointed ways to inject uniqueness where it makes sense.
A good goal to keep in mind is to structure your site in a way that requires the user to make the least number of clicks to get to their goal. Then, structure and design your menus and individual pages to that end.
5. Conversion Driven
If you're like most businesses, the end goal of your website is probably to drive revenue. To do that, it has to support a solid conversion rate of anonymous visitors into known contacts.
What is better than having our customers tell us they want to buy instead of us having to try and convince them? Nothing is better. That is the holy grail of website results. So how do we get it?
A self selection tool is the best way to help your website visitors feel like they are getting a customized experience, and it allows them to do all the work for you.
Tools that allow users to customize options, select features that fit their needs, or even do all of the qualification your sales team needs without the help of an actual sales person are the best way to do this. Done right, your customer is happy because they got exactly what they wanted, and your sales team is happy because they don’t have to do any work to close a deal anymore!
If you want to see a great example of what I'm talking about, check out the Wix.com website. It has one of the better self configuration tools we've seen (and it's pretty fun to play with!).
Every page of your website should have a goal to move customers to their logical next step in their journey with you. If you haven't mapped out your next step conversion goal for every page of your website, you are leaving that conversion up to chance.
Another way you can improve your ability to convert is to make it insanely easy for your users to convert. The harder it is for your users to contact you (e.g. the more clicks they have to make to get there) and the longer it takes for you to contact them back, the more leads you will lose.
So take the effort and the waiting out of the equation with great tools like Live Chat and Messenger Bots. This allows your user to get right to speaking with a person the moment they are ready. Now who doesn't love that?
6. Marketer Driven
Ok, we are finally ready to talk about you instead of your customer.
Given everything we’ve already said about how your website is for your customer and not for you, there is one small caveat we have to talk about.
If your website is a hassle to update, maintain or change, how often are you going to do it? Be really honest, now.
Probably almost never, right?
So, for your website to do all the great things we talked about above, it should be really easy and user friendly to maintain so that you will actually maintain it.
What do I mean by this? The backend of your website should be intuitive and flexible, allowing for easy page creation, content updates and structure changes. The best way to do this is by building your website on a content management system (CMS).
Some of the most common CMSs that are reasonably priced and allow for the flexibility mentioned above are:
HubSpot CMS
WordPress
WooCommerce
Shopify
The most beautiful, custom coded website in the world that never gets updated with new content will never provide you the results you want. Instead, find the right place on the spectrum from super custom to super flexible to ensure you will update your website regularly and produce content consistently.
Final Thoughts
Your website is the face your company shows the world. Make sure it represents what your customers want to see, allows them to find what they want quickly and easily, and provides them so much value that they can’t help but trust you.
Do all these things, and I promise, your website will provide you results.
For one day, my son thought I was greatest mom in the world when I threw him the perfect party. Allow your website to give that feeling to your customers and they will keep coming back for more.
from Web Developers World https://www.impactbnd.com/blog/characteristics-of-the-perfect-inbound-website
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