#but idk not that it matters that much anymore.... i don;t fucking know i'm not sure abt anything

[saintobio]

WASTELANDS | theories & rants compilation [part six]

unfortunately i’m unable to finish answering all theories/rants abt wastelands part six due to time restrictions, but i’ve compiled them into one post so you guys can read before part seven comes up.

Anonymous said

No matter how much of a fucking bitch sophia is, i would honestly just stare at her face while she talks shit coz she pretty like that. I mean devon🥲🥲🥲 (fuck u suna why did u get a pretty gf how am i suppose to resent her)

Anonymous said

plot twist, what if suna and the others do leave the camp and ty to find y/n but sophia decided to stay bc she would rather stay than go after y/n but then she changes her mind and goes after them bc she loves suna but they don’t know that she’s following them. what if y/n and suna meet up near the end and before they could make up or do anything, sophia shoots y/n shocking everyone. it would be unexpected 🧍🏼‍♀️

Anonymous said

I really hope y/n took a moment to write a final letter to Rin to reiterate their last conversation like I’m just imagining, “I know you treasured these letters more than anything, so here is my final letter to you,” After all the years of pining over Rin she’s finally letting him go and exposing the fact she wrote the letters, not even bringing up Sophia because she doesn’t matter to y/n and whats done is done. I think it’d be important for y/n to bring up the fact she was the one who truly wrote the letters to get closure in a sense? To actually fully come to terms with everything and move on. Idk, this is just theorizing my thoughts about the situation and what I would possibly do if I was in her shoes.

Anonymous said

The way Rin barely defended y/n when Sophia said she would leave her to die... bruh these two are acc inhuman... don fckn care if it's the apocalypse Haru is more human in his lil pinky than these two combined 😒 can they just disappear from y/n's life, I desperately want her to heal but she cant when Rin's always there breathing down her neck and showing off their fckd up relationship in front of y/n. I'm GLAD she left and I'm glad she took the first step in healing by letting him go completely 😌 wanna hug my bby to death

Anonymous said

I'm sorry, he DIDNT expect her to breakdown after years of loving him and at the same time him pushing her away and basically shoving in her face the love and commitment he has for Sophia? Is he... is he right in the head or has some Z leaked an infection in him cuz that's utter bullshit. Did he rlly expect her to be at his beck and call knowing full well she likes him even tho he tries so hard to make it clear he loves Sophia. That's the most shittiest thing I have ever heard. Shes not some mindless being that will love you forever even tho you already have a significant other. That's disrespectful and just utterly selfish, yes it's post apocalypse, but hell Haru has more human in his lil pinky than this brat will ever have in his entire body. Every chapter I've just been more and more disappointed in Suna and the lil flicker of hope I have for redemption just keep getting smaller to the point where I just dont expect anything from him anymore. This guy is hopeless and a terrible person. So what it took you seeing her in the arms of another to finally start questioning those lingering feelings huh? MAKE UP UR DAMN MIND FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. ANSWER THIS ONE MORE TIME, SOPHIA OR HER?. why cant u stay with that shitty woman instead of pestering y/n all day, quit flaunting ur love life cuz we all know it's as fake as Sophia and that's what you chose so that's what you'll stay with, your perfect world chose you but you chose to persue that crusty ass until the end of time, u said so urself, youd die alongside Sophia, so just go ahead and anticipate death with her, thats what you said right? dont bother dirtying y/n's life anymore with ur fucked up mentality cuz she deserves to feel the least bit human again and be truly happy before the world decides to take her. Just fuck off Suna, just leave her to heal from now on rather than staying in her life and opening more wounds. I swear miss girl the second you open the character interviews everyone is in for the kill before those Zs get to them

Anonymous said

This was probably the best direction that MC could’ve taken. Although I’m also guessing that Suna is going to go after her but that’s just a guess.

I hate that Sophia is being a huge asshole especially right now, during a fucking apocalypse. We might be gone but don’t come screaming at us if Suna runs after us 🙄

Also I gotta say that I loved watching Haru and MC’s PLATONIC relationship grow, it was pretty fun to read.

Suna being a selfish little shit was honestly kinda funny to read since of how he didn’t realize how much of a fucking hypocrite he was being, hilarious, right?

Anonymous said

OMG OK SO I JUST READ THE UPDATE AND I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS RND SKSJSKJSOS all in all i just want to say:

- im proud of yn but also VERY worried since the girl is still injured and she’s alone and will be travelling for hours like 😬 girl you better NOT DIE i swear

- thank you haru for being such a huge comfort in such a short time 🥺 and the bonding from the seoul kids were also bery appreciated ily please stay safe bbs

- sighhhh suna i- ok you being jealous and accusing her of going after guys was VERY uncalled for lmao i ain’t for that shit 😐 but i do be feeling bad for you when sophia gave you a fuckin ultimatum sosksmoa i hate it when people do that bro that was just so off

- AND YOU MF S*PHIA i just can’t i mean i get that you practically hate y/n and shit but damn you ain’t gotta let her die like that, esp not when y/n tried to help suna look for you in the first place bruh 💀 have some mf compassion, you’re in an apocalypse. not even tsumu would do us like that bro, that’s just really low of you

my head is very empty after this chapter, im not quite sure what to expect but im guessing the turning point could be in the next chap??? can’t wait for more conflict and development hehehe

@bakugousmrs said

Okay first and for most,Chap 6 is👩‍🍳💋‼‼

And now my rant,,, let's start with HARU my baby, when he saw Y/n he didn't waste any second and hugged her!! That's my shit right there!! Plus points Haru! And he didn't leave her throughout the Chap, talk about a Gentlemen,,

I kept stopping because the secondhand embarassment of Bokuto and Atsumu is something! Eugh!😖But I still love 'em! And that anon with the "dumb, dumber and dumbest" is brilliant!

When Alisa said 'Every second counts' or something like that yass ghOrLLlLL!!I felt that.

And I almost thought Y/n got bitten because when Y/n's showering I remembered her cleaning the 'dried blood' the zombies latched unto,, but she slept and 8 hours had past and we're good,, after the bath scene hurts like a bitch, tho Kita,Osamu, and Atsumu saved my pained heart!! And Sophia you big poopie meaniee! I hope your yt ads are unskippable (even tho it's the zombie apocalypse🥴)

And Rin,, As Y/n said HOW FUCKING DARE YOU.Glaring at her wowwww. Just wow, through out the whole conversation of Rin and Y/n is legit hurting me, poor baby Y/n,, I'm sorry Suna is a jerk, tho he has a big dic- I'm pleased Haru is there for her 'cause if not, boyyyy imma go die rn. And when he finally realize that Y/n is important it' too late! She left him. Altho I don't think she left, like left left,(my denial ass talking 'coz idontwant her to leave the camp yet) she just probably accompany Haru to get something outside the base or something, but Suna is like a mess after, and he had a fight with Sophia 'cause he misundestood Y/n left, and when she came back, her and Sophia will fight and then baam! moment of truth about the letters, Suna chasing Y/n, but Y/n is still not giving in because she bowed to look for Asher,,, but if she really left, I think they would go after her(probably) 'cause we are still halfway through,, all in all I love it!! Augh😩😩! And I think whatever the ending is, I'll love def love it, I've already experince your Happy and Sad endings, but we'll cross the bridge when we get there:))

[starfilled-heart]

You could never understand me. Never. But hey, it s true that i don't help you with that. There are a lot of things i keep buried inside me that affect me.

For example, let s talk first about my habit to lie. You don't know its roots. You know nothing (*cough* Jon snow *cough*). In my whole life, i couldn't have had nothing, NOTHING, if it weren't for the lies of my mom and I. You know my dad s a spender. And he spends everything my family has. You consider me a spender. He s much, much, much worse. If my mom and i wouldn't have lied, we wouldn't have fucking anything. Nada. Null. Zero. Not my laptop, not my fucking phones, not fucking therapy or meds (which, yeah, i don't take anymore, but they re on the list), not even any of the gifts i gave you... Or even my nice shaped teeth. You don t know, but my canines were very high up on my gums and i would look like a vampire with my crooked teeth. My clothes. They re again from lies. The good food we give to our dogs. You have no bloody idea. A lie for me means to live well, unbothered, unless ofc, my dad gets angry and stuff happens. Almost all the money i have are from lying. My father doesn't give me enough for a living in this city. Do you understand? No, you won't. If we wouldn't have lied and hid money, we wouldn't be what we are today. I wouldn't have my plants. Or the things that make me me.

And yes, i did lie to you. Also no, i m not fucking cheating on you. You aren t a physics test so i d cheat on you. You re my human. No matter what bullshit i pull and hurt you, i would never do that.

My purpose is not anymore to be believed by anyone. I know my truths and i know my lies.

Yes, i do wish you never met me because that would erase every bad memory i gave you. Or bad feeling. I'm just hurting you at this point. And i feel like when i can talk about my stuff, i m not listened to and understood. I m not fucking trying to find excuses, i m just fucking trying to make you understand who, what i am. Im not victimizing myself, i think. I ll look more into that tho.

However, one of these days someone that became dear to me asked me after i told him what I've gone through with my depression and anxiety etc. He asked: how do you see yourself right now? I really didn't know what to answer at first. After i thought about it, i said "i see myself as a wounded thing, that s always hurting but it s trying to hide that with acts of charity, with "trying to do good".

I stopped talking in the server by the way. I m done with our arguments and my lies about it. All of this made me feel like I'm not allowed to talk with them. I talk with you all day long. I miss talking with them too, ok? And i can t talk to one if i don't stop for a bit talking to the other one. If you accept that i need to do that, then i swear i ll stop lying about it.

You know, i had a bf when i was on my 3rd and 4th grade. Idk why, once i was so mad at him and i wrote him one of those letters where you cuss someone as insulting as you can and after that you either burn the letter or delete the message. I still remember that i called him "broken computer". I still laugh when i remember that.

And about shutting off and telling you less and less things. I started doing that because you stopped doing it. It made me feel like i don t matter enough to you anymore so you d share the little things during the day with me...

Now, secondly, sometimes i simply can t understand you. I want us to make the difference between when it s a date or just time we agreed on spending together. This thing that s not clarified is fucking with my mind. Because once we had a similar thing and you were angry ofc (rn i m talking about the argument we had before i went out of the country). But when i do it for the same reason, i m just overreacting. You don t know how hurt i was when we couldn't spend that night as i wished. I m glad i helped you with your stuff, ofc, but i was left empty. Alone. Uncared for. i have all the fucking right to act and feel the way that i did then. You can t tell me otherwise.

Thirdly, i d want to tell you about how hard it s for me lately at work. I ve been shouted at, i realized how strong the nepotism is there, i m given contradictory commands and i m being criticized for sitting around but i m just actually doing something that s helping my other coworkers... It s fucking shitty. And if I'm intimidated and i panick and i make a mistake i m just told to let others do it, if i know that i can't handle it and that makes me feel like a burden, like i can t do shit. When i m actually very capable. But i feel like no one acknowledges my growth. Just me, myself and i. And when others do a mistake, it s completely fine and it s because *i* was intimidating them.

Lastly, i want to bring to your attention that we already fucking talked about me not being able always to call you when I say that i ll call you. Stop giving me that much shit about it. I simply can t do that, i m too distracted. And it s not that you don t matter to me. Because you do. I put a lot of effort in the gifts i give you and that s in a way how i show you how much you mean to me. I think that s one of my love languages at this point. I simply can t do that when I tell you. I ll stop saying that i ll call you when x or after x.

Ps: I realized that I'm still affected by the time when you shouted at me on the phone. And when a slight change in your tone appears, i start panicking a bit and cry.

[scientifically-strange]

I'm daring you. 1. - 47.

1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend?

I mean, that would be nice. I mean, I’m not actively looking for one right now, but if someone comes my way I’m not exactly going to get in the way of my own happiness, you know?

2.When did your last hug take place?

A few hours ago. My stepdad was saying goodnight to me

3.Are you a jealous person?

No, not really. I’m a pretty laid back person

4.Are you tired right now?

Bro, that’s like my default mode, alright. I’m always tired, 24/7

5.Do you chew on your straws?

Sometimes. Not recently though since I just got my retainer like a week ago

6.Have you ever been called a tease?

No? I mean, in bed sure a couple times, but in general like ‘hey you’re leading me on’ kind of tease, never. I’m a very blunt, straightforward person sometimes

7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight?

Listen, I know sometimes I make jokes about hating myself, but I don’t hate myself that much. 

8.Do you cry easily?

I do, but not often. Usually when I cry it’s from an intense emotional buildup over a long period of time because I subconsciously bottle things up without realizing it until it’s too late so

9.What should you be doing right now?

Math homework, sleeping, mentally preparing myself for having to work on Thanksgiving

10.Are you a heavy sleeper?

I live in a house with four dogs, a noisy younger brother, an older brother with noisy friends, and my dog’s snoring and godawful farts, so yeah, I am. If I wasn’t I would literally just be awake the whole time

11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months?

My last big relationship lasted almost 3 years, so yeah, I think I can do that

12.Are you mad at someone right now?

Yeah, but only in the sense that if the subject is brought up I’ll rant big time and talk some major shit, but I’m not like outright looking for someone to be angry at, it just sort of happens

13.Do you believe in love?

Yes.

14.What makes you laugh no matter what?

There’s this comic floating around on this site somewhere where Captain America sneezes and Tony says god bless america and the last panel is like this closeup of Cap’s face and he looks just like Kermit the Frog and it makes me lose my fucking shit every time I see it

15.Who was the last person you talked to?

My stepdad

16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like?

Platonically? No, but with people I have a sort of crush on, yeah, sometimes. 

17.Will you get married?

Hopefully one day. I can’t really see myself with a husband though, so I’m gonna be searching for that soft wife of mine who can crush my skull with her thighs

18.When was the last time you smiled?

When I was answering question 14

19.Does anyone like you?

Yeah, but the feeling is not returned. He’s 14 and in the tae kwon do class before mine, and I’m 18 and don’t do that so

20.Do you secretly like someone?

Um...Idk? Maybe? I’m pretty clueless with my own feelings sometimes, so if I like someone it’ll take me a cool minute to realize it. So in short, TBD

21.Who was the first person you talked to today?

Does my dog count

22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

A close friend of mine who I’ve known for almost ten years, a new internet friend of mine, and one of my friends from high school who I still talk to regularly

23.What are you NOT looking forward to?

The holiday season and fucking Star Wars. Listen, okay, FUCK Star Wars (I work at a fucking movie theater literally shoot me)

24.What ARE you looking forward to?

I got the job to this dance place the next town over from mine. They teach ballroom dancing, and for the next three months I’m gonna be training with them to become an official instructor. My training for it starts next week, and I’m really excited about it

25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?

Yeah, plenty of times

26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do?

Listen, I wouldn't care. We’re not together anymore, so why should it matter? It shows me that they’ve moved on to a hopefully happier, healthier relationship, and even if I didn’t leave on best terms with someone, I still want them to be happy

27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year?

No, I can;t afford that. College is expensive my dudes

28.Are you a forgiving person?

Yeah, I like to think so. What happened then is water under the bridge now, and there’s way to much time wasted on hate where I could be doing other things, like sleeping or talking to my dog like she’s my therapist

29.How many TRUE friends do you have?

Six

30.Do you fall for people easily?

I don;t think I do? Like, usually I would like to know the person for years befroe we start going out. With my last relationship we knew each other for six going on seven years before we dated for a couple months, and before that I had known my ex for three years before we started dating. So no, not really. It makes it kind of hard to get a girlfriend of a boyfriend because I want to be with someone but I don;t want to settle for just anybody who I have no emotional connection with

31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend?

No, those are strictly platonic relationships

32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?

My retainer 

33.Who was the last person you drove with?

My younger brother. As stated above I work at a movie theater, so I took him there and we watched the new Thor movie and Justice League (which are both amazing btw)

34.How late did you stay up last night and why?

I stayed up until about 1:30 am because I was at work

35.If you could move somewhere else, would you?

Probably. I live in midwestern America right now, so the economy isn’t all that great and some people are overly conservative (If you’re a conservative idgaf, i’m talking about the ones that think I should have the gay electrocuted out of me, or the ones that think cutting school funding is a legit smart idea)(Because it’s fucking not but that’s a whole other story I’m not going to get into)

36.Who was the last person you took a picture of?

Me, because I’m amazing (And was trying out a new lipstick)

37.Can you live a day without TV?

I already do that lmao

38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?

A couple of weeks ago. My biological father didn’t call or text for almost two months, and didn’t go to my younger brother’s big football tournament down in Dallas. When he did finally text me, the conversation was four messages long and there was no apology or explanation. He acted like it was able to be swept under the rug so yeah, I’m kind of disappointed. I thought he would finally stop doing that

39.Three names you go by..

My birth name, JoAnn, and then there’s Joan and Joananana (and only one person is allowed to call me that)

40.Are you currently in a relationship?

With a person, no, but with my new OCs, god I wish

41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie?

Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and no, I don’t mean Steggy/Steve x Sharon

42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?

No. I mean, there are people who don’t like romantic/sexual stuff so no. Unless you mean in a platonic way, because sure, everybody has that best friend soul mate. 

43.What’s your current problem?

Everything

44.Have you ever had your heart broken?

Yeah, a few times. I don’t want to talk about that unless it’s through dms though, it’s too personal

45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships?

If you can make it work than good on you, but I personally do not care for them

46.How many kids do you want to have?

Three. That way they can entertain themselves and I can have more grandchildren to spoil 

47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them

I feel like that’s gonna be a situation that’s always going to be hard no matter how many times you do it. It’s because you’re opening yourself up and exposing your most vulnerable parts , therefore making you open to rejection. So yeah, I have, but luckily those people have shared the same feelings. At least for a little while