#but it wasn't intrusive SA it was just weird sexually charged shit but i was still only 4 and he was 16 so it still fits | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

daedrabela · 1 year

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sometimes i'll just be chilling with my bf and i start talking about something weird that happened to me as a kid/when i was younger and it turns out that was a whole ass trauma and then we sit there looking at each other like 😮

#he always tells me it's ok to talk about that stuff with him but it usually just comes out of the clear blue and it's jarring #i told him about my half-brother whom he didn't even know existed and i told him why i don't mention him at all because CSA stuff happened #but it wasn't intrusive SA it was just weird sexually charged shit but i was still only 4 and he was 16 so it still fits #and i told him about the cousin who taught me some things a 4 year old shouldn't be doing but i have sympathy for her bc again #it wasn't intrusive and she was like 10 so i think she was being abused too and just didn't know what those things meant #funnily enough she's my half-brothers cousin on his mom's side so we're not related but they are and it makes a little more sense #and then there's all the shit my parents did which they don't even remember because acting like angry toddlers is such a norm for them #like that time my mom threw a vase at me in my room and i had to clean it up and then i found a 2-inch shard of glass a few months later #and to this day i wish i'd kept it and made it a necklace or something #or the incident with my dad which ALL of us remember but it didn't change anything about how my parents treat me or my sibling at home #even to this day when my sibling is living with them they still act the same wau

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