#but one time emilia fart said it on her live so

[somefantasticplace]

MISTER AND MISTER

We asked comedians Vic and Bob the same questions in separate rooms. Then we compared their answers…

HERE for pictures.

What are the rules in your relationship?  Is there a line that you'd never cross?

Vic: We've never needed to have rules - apart from who makes the tea next.  We never speak to each other on the phone unless it's to say, 'I'm not coming in today,' or 'Will you bring some milk in?’ We have completely functional phone calls because we see each other every day.  We live about 10 miles away from each other. We're very medieval in that we do all our writing with a pen and paper.  Bob tends to hold the pen more and write things down more, but that's entirely down to my idleness.  I have to do the drawings because his drawings are indecipherable.

Bob: If we don't want to work, we don't have to and we never make an issue of it.  We never phone up and say, 'I'm really sorry, I've got to do this or that.' We just say, 'I'm not working today.  See you tomorrow.' We're both quite unassertive, so there's no obvious dominance.  It could be [why neither of them is the straight man].  We compromise - it's unspoken. We talk about most stuff, but not sexual things.  I don't know why that is.  You always imagine that everyone else does. If he's been out with a lass, I'll say 'So how did it go?'  I don't really ask anything like, 'Did she have nice tits?'

Tell us a secret about the other.

Vic: He's got an anal dysfunction.  Let's just say there's some kind of angle involved.  He backfires.

Bob: He collects a percentage of his used condoms in a jar and keeps them.  He does!  Last time I saw it was in his house.  So there you are!

What surprises can we expect in the new BBC TV series of Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased)?

Vic: I think the best bit is a very camp psychedelic episode, set in a big toy shop, with giant puppets and evil mannequins. it's got that late-60s Avengers feel.  I fly through the air a lot.  I was hurled down a corridor by a flaming man [no need to swear- ed].  No, he was on fire. It's always good working with Tom Baker.  When we're together we camp it right up.  He even gives me a kiss - it's quite full on and I wasn't expecting it.  He was telling me something really close up and he finished off by grabbing hold of my face and going mwwwwwww. I was pretty startled.  You don't think, 'Oh, he's a good kisser!' You think, 'What's he doing?'

Bob: There's one bit where we're in a jungle and Derek Jacobi is in a wheelchair with his face peeled off; Dervla Kirwan is on a sex machine (a punishment machine that gives women orgasms continually until they hate it); Emilia Fox is having a fight with a huge lady prison officer; and I'm being beaten up by two huge men.  It's a lovely little tableau.

Hopkirk (Vic) is Randall's (Bob's) spectral minder.  Who would you choose as your spirit guide?

Vic: Don Johnson from Miami Vice because he'd be suave.  Or Michael Knight from Knight Rider.  Or Peter Glaze [of Crackrjack].  He was quite short with little round specs and he'd look good if he appeared behind a bush in spectral form.

Bob: it would probably be quite good to have Jim [Vic's real name is Jim Moir].  He'd do anything you asked.  I'd get him to spy on people and report back.  I think he'd Iove it. I don't suppose he could carry a camcorder, but I'd like to see images from D-grade celebrities’ homes and Jim would be up for doing that.  I'd send him to spy on Anthea and Grant.  Could it be true that no one watched Anthea's show?  I take no pleasure in that.  I just couldn't believe her viewing figure was zero.  You'd think Grant would have tuned in, though.

Who has the better sense of style?

Vic: Bob has his own particular sense of style, which I admire. He’s a very clean man, but he wears dirty clothes.  I admire that because he pulls it off.  He sometimes buys unsightly shoes and I'll say, ‘I think we should burn them.' I've burned a lot of clothing and taken photographs of it.  I took a photograph of a pair of old woman's shoes on fire beneath a standing stone with a pool around the bottom.  I had eight copies printed; I'm going to frame them and offer them out at Christmas.

Bob: I have no sense of style and I get a lot of abuse for it.  But I'm beginning to think that I'm the more stylish man because I have no style.  I don't buy anything.  This is all bought for me by my girlfriend [points to his chunky sweater and scuffed jeans].  I hate male perfumes, male jewellers.  I hate walking into a room and the first thing people see is your suit.

Vic/Jim has said: 'People can't seem to understand that Vic is just a character I play.' Are they two different people?

Vic: It just goes back to the fact that not many people can pronounce Moir [rhymes with lawyer]. I changed my name because I was only going to do one night - and I thought it was right for that night.  'Vic' is when I'm on TV.

Bob: I think Vic and Jim are one and the same.

Who would you least like to be chained to a radiator with?

Vic: Terry Waite. Or Donald Duck.  I don't like the way he looks, I don't like the way he speaks.  His attitude is all wrong.  And his nephews!  If they were chained as well I'd slit my throat.  Eat them?  I'm not sure anyone's ever eaten a cartoon yet.

Bob: Bubble from Big Brother.  I'd probably irritate him - it wouldn't be a good mix.  I think Vic would pick Bigfoot out of Bigfoot And 7he Hendersons - that big hairy thing.

You wake up one day to discover you are women.  What kind of women would you be?

Vic: Probably much the same as the men that we are.  Vaguely interesting.  I don't think we'd be smart.  Eclectic.  I'd be wearing Victorian clothing, a high-necked, long, black dress, looking like a widow.  Or Miss Havisham in Great Expectations.  Dusty and dowdy.

Bob: I'd be the same as I am.  I’d be a mummy. I’d be like Nigella Lawson, but anonymous. Jim, he would be like Ulrika.

Complete the following: I’d die if I ever had to… again.

Vic: …live.

Bob: I couldn’t face doing the conveyancing on a house again. I used to do that in another life.

How do you make your kids laugh?

Vic: Stupid walks, fart jokes – they always win. I can’t fart to order, but I can belch to order. Words always make kids laugh. You’ve got to get on their level and sing things like, ‘There’s a woman on a bike, wike, thike, nike, fike, like.’ They love it.

Bob: Repeating a non-word such as ‘uballah’ over and over, very loudly – that seems to get them going. Or walking like a monkey.

What would you never, ever lend the other?

Vic: My car [a Jaguar], as he’s always crashing cars. The interior of his car [a Lexus] is like a council tip. When we were filming, we had a boot sale and put everything from his car on a trestle table. There was cat litter, one shoe, a bra, plants, food, jam – everything you could possibly imagine - stashed away.  He doesn't have his cars long.  I'd say it takes him about an hour and a half to fill one and perhaps two hours to wreck it.

Bob:  My dog and my cats.  He'd be useless.  He'd probably feed them the wrong stuff.

How do you know when he's down and how do you help him snap out of it?

Vic: I ring up Middlesbrough Football Club and tell them to pull their finger out.  He doesn't know I do this.  He gets into a terrible depression if they aren't doing very well, but that's the only time he does get depressed.  He always cheers me up with his cheeky grin.

Bob: I don't bother, he's always down, so there's no worries.

Who has the better body?

Vic: My body is turning into what it was like as a young boy - there's nothing there really.  Bob's is very manly - a big hairy chest, broad and brawny.  I'm in pretty good shape.  I do a lot of walking.  But Bob's in better shape than he's ever been.  He has this secretive world where he does a lot of digging.  He moves gravel around and stuff like that.

Bob: We fluctuate.  You'll see photo of him sixth months before and he'll be as trim as a tuppence.  But at this moment in time, I might be able to top him.  One thing Jim does is put weight on his face.  If he's had a Christmas where he's scoffed and drank for a week, it all goes on his face.

If you could send the other on a course, what would it be?

Vic: Fly-fishing.  I think he's got a secret wish to be a fisherman. We've been fishing about twice in 10 years.  I think it's something he'd be into.  I think he'd also benefit from learning how to draw. I would imagine his children can draw better than him.

Bob:   An assertiveness training weekend.  He came into work yesterday and said, 'The builders are after me for money.' I said, 'Have they done owt?' He says, 'Not that I can see.' So I said, 'It's very difficult, Jim, but when they phone up, if they haven't done the kitchen, the dining room and the bedroom, at least say, "Could you have the kitchen finished by five?" before you give them the cash.' He says  'Yeah, I'll try and get something out of them.' So he phones the builder and says, 'So you want some money? I'll put the cheque in the kitchen drawer.' He couldn't do it!

You’re in a room full of smart, beautiful women.  Who do they gravitate towards?

Vic: Neither of us, I'm convinced. They'd probably turn their backs us. Maybe they'd gather around Bob first because they'd want to mother him and I think that's the first urge of a group of beautiful women in a room.

Bob.  Jim.  He's sassy.  He's a single man and there's an air about him. You wouldn't notice me walking into a room.

Could you order for each other in restaurant?

Vic: Definitely.  He'd have what you consider old person's food  - tongue, potatoes and cabbage, and a steamed pudding with custard, with tea or a lager.  If he chose for me, he'd go for something more obscure. If there was something odd on the menu, I'd try it.

Bob: Jim always has the most bizarre thing on the menu.  He likes to try things.  He'd order me potatoes.

If you were invisible for a day, where would you hang out?

Vic: Can I breathe underwater or be ethereal?  I'd float over the capital and blow down chimneys and through windows at quite high speed.  I wouldn't be that interested in spying on anyone.  I might like to creep into a tiger's cage or maybe get inside an apple.  I wouldn't find anything interesting in being a peeping Tom.  I'd rather spy on a cat than a person.

Bob: I'm tempted to say at Grant and Anthea's again, but the truth, of course, is that I'd hang around wherever in 24 hours you'd see the most nude women.

How far would you go for friendship?  Would you: a) lend him your underpants; b) give him your kidney; c) help him on the toilet?

Vic:  a) I wouldn't want to wear his underpants.  Have you seen the state of them? b) I'd give him my kidney, depending on how many I had spare on my plate.  He'd enjoy it. c) I would help him on the toilet, yes, if I had to.

Bob:   a) Yes, I'm sure I would. b) Can you survive with only one?  I'd think about it. c) Yes, definitely.

What is the other's most irritating habit?

Vic:  He would probably say blowing his nose on his clothing.  But he quite often leaves some marmalade or something on the front seat of his car, so, when you get in, you really need to put a towel down first.

Bob: Not buying drinks.

What's the most endearing thing he's ever done?

Vic: Just being him really.  He always makes me laugh.  We're not present givers.  We ignore Christmases and birthdays.

Bob: There's lots. He bought me a very rare record, which surprised me. It was an original copy of Free Live! He always looks after me. With the odd lives we have, we do have to look out for each other. It's one of the stabilising things about being in a double act. You can't start being poncey because you've got the other person with you. You can help each other out.

What scares you?

Vic: I've got a terrible fear of heights.  Before I pass out, the sky comes in and I start ducking.

Bob: The thought of my children getting hurt.  You see something on the telly and think, 'God, if that were them, I couldn't bear it.'

Do you go on holiday together?

Vic: We do.  We've been off on our own a few times - we've been on motorcycling holidays, we've been camping.  We're probably quite insular.  We act like children.

Bob: On holiday, he's a bit too busy for me.  He can't sit down.  We're in a cafe and I just like watching people.  He'll be saying, 'Have you finished your fag?  Come on!'

If the partnership ended tomorrow, what would you both be good at?

Vic: I'd probably just paint pictures.  I think he'd like being a gardener or maybe do up houses.

Bob: I'd like to be a gardener, if I was financially able to just garden.  I can't act, so I wouldn't go down that line.  Jim does it already, but I suppose he'd like to paint.

What sort of old people will you be?

Vic: I will sit in an old people's home, staring out of the window, listening to a distant Alsatian.  I've often imagined myself sitting on a park bench with a dusty novel.  And a bottle of milk. If they stop putting milk in bottles, I'll be cantankerous and lead the march to Trafalgar Square to reinstate bottles of milk. I'd imagine Bob would be very much the same, but he'd be sitting on a dusty chair with a bottle of milk watching the TV - anything that's on.  He's a channel hopper.

Bob: Quite traditional, really: nice tweed suits, brogues, lonely. Together would be nice. We would probably be... [sighs at the inevitability] in a pub.

Former solicitor Bob Mortimer (42) was born only a few months and a few miles apart from Vic Reeves in Middlesbrough .  They didn't meet until 1986 when Vic was performing at the Goldsmith's Tavern in London.  Vic thought Bob was 'quite quiet' but it transpired he was eating a macaroon and didn't want to talk with his mouth full. Bob lives with his girlfriend Lisa Matthews and their children Harry (4) and Tom (3) in Kent .

Vic Reeves (42, James Roderick Moir to the Inland Revenue] lives in Kent with his wife Sarah (though they are separated) and their children, Alice (8), and Louis (4). It’s just down the road from Bob, at whose house they write every day. The two have had many series on TV including Shooting Stars, Families At War and Bang Bang It’s Reeves & Mortimer. Vic has also published a book of his paintings, sunboiledonions (Michael Joseph, £12.99).

Eve

Nov 2001

[giireyes]

hello hello hello, i’m mini from the 6ix ! im a plant based, broke af media student that gets into one too many bus accidents when eating oranges and it’s been a hot minute since i’ve joined an rp this big, so - bare with me. also bare with my shitty gifs since i make them all from scratch. this ended up being a new muse for me so - bare with that too. i’m asking for a lot ! i’m sORRY DKFJGHDFKJGHD

emilia mernes. cis-female. she/her.  ／  angel giselle reyes just pulled up blasting nada by tainy, lauren jauregui & c. tangana — that song is so them ! you know, for a twenty three year old influencer/vocalist, i’ve heard they’re really -sarcastic, but that they make up for it by being so +humble. if i had to choose three things to describe them, i’d probably say karaoke nights with friends, watching the sunrise, and dancing in the middle of the street. here’s to hoping they don’t cause too much trouble ! 

BASICS !

Full Name: angel giselle reyes

Nickname(s): gigi, angie, gi

Age: 23

Height: 5′2 ft

Place of Birth: cordoba, argentina

Date of Birth: january 15th 1997

Zodiac sign: capricorn

Ethnicity: hispanic

Nationality: argentinian

Gender: cis female

Pronouns: she/her

Orientation: bisexual

Religion: agnostic

Tattoos: a black outlined heart tattoo behind her ear

Language(s) Spoken: broken english, spanish

Accent: spanish is her first language, so speaking in english she has an accent.

Family: francisco camilo herrera de luna ( half brother ! )

FAVOURITES !

Weather: summer

Colour: orange

Music: bad bunny, vincente fernandez, camilo sesto, celia cruz, jbalvin

Movies: the princess diaries

Sport: volleyball

Beverage: moscato, or rum

Food: alfajores

Animal: sloths

BIOGRAPHY !

*** . FIRST . tw : abandonment, alcohol, drugs

angel was born in cordoba - no not in spain, but in argentina ! her parents were two teens that weren’t ready for a child, so what did they do ? they gave her away, and they decided to call her angel because she was born in a church. her relatives found this a good thing, maybe it would give her some kind of spiritual help - and in some way, maybe it did ?

through the years, she was passed between relatives, living in different parts of cordoba, until she got into her pre-teens, hitting different parts of south america. at some point she was living in mexico with her tio - and then returned back to argentina, but in buenos aires to live with her paternal abuelito. it’s funny because she knows her relatives, but she never actually ended up having a relationship with her mom and dad. they just sent money, some clothes, but never bothered to call and text. bouncing between places distracted her, but of course it always felt like something was missing. 

living in buenos aires, angel started going by gigi - it was a much less masculine name than her original name, and people have already been calling her angie. gigi just fit the cake ! 

hennyways, she started a youtube channel, posting dancing videos of herself, that eventually led to vine, that went to youtube ---- that eventually led to tiktok. that’s right, she’s a tiktok-er, and she got really famous for being so, not just in argentina, but all around latin america.  

at 21, she joined a latin american tiktok group, where they’d post videos of themselves doing dumb isht - not just that, she started posting cover videos onto YouTube as well, so while she was famous on TikTok, she was earning notice for her vocal ability that she got recognized by sony music latin and w.k. entertainment. she was signed and asked to move to miami, florida. this was a step into the american market !!

now, her lito was COMPLETELY against it. he didn’t want her to be americanized. it sounded ridiculous to him since she barely spoke english, and everything she had was in argentina. except gigi had money in the bank - so what did she do ? have this big fight with her lito, and family. she’s ambitious and she’s gonna go whether anyone said yes or no. 

because of this fight - her entire family ended up disowning her. literally, she left her home after the fight, and came back to all her stuff tossed on the street. whenever she tried to go to anyone in her family, they all shut the door on her. there was no turning back, and gigi really ... didn’t have a choice at that point. she knew she was never wanted, but it hurt to know it was a reality from those you made a home with.

from that point on, gigi doesn’t talk about her family. 

she did go to miami. the first flight out with whatever she could stuff in a couple bags. gigi lived in miami for about a year, staying in the united states on a work visa - so yeah, she’s not a citizen. during her time in miami, she learned a bit more english - though her accent is still very much present and a lot of things are very surprising to her in comparison to back home. 

so far she has released one song with ana mena and nio garcia called el chisme. gigi still works hard on all her social media accounts while working in the studio, and constantly networking with those in the same industry as herself - even outside of it !

she moved to LA just before she turned 22, deciding she wanted to know a different place. staying in a place for too long was never her thing, but her manager thinks it’s a good idea anyway. 

PERSONALITY / WHO SHE IS !

what you’ll notice when first meeting gigi is that she always smiles - she has this thing about her where even if her life really does suck - some parts of it - she tries her ABSOLUTE best to be positive, and just giving off positive vibes. i mean of course if you piss her off, different story. 

if you annoy her, she’s passive aggressive - not even that, she’ll just straight up tell you you’re being annoying or something. it’d take a lot for her not to like someone - actually i lied, if you give off a bad vibe, she’d give you a look, pretend to be nice and walk away DKFJHGJDKFGH

sarcastic brat. nuff said. 

gigi isn’t really aware of her “fame” which is so funny. she’ll be out, and if there are people taking photos of her, she’d be very confused, telling them something like “guys im not famous, stop.” even tho ?? sis u r thriving what do u mean ???? 

she gets brain farts a lot - mainly because she thinks in spanish, and has to speak in english. catch her speaking in spanish randomly forgetting the other doesn’t understand. it’s just in her personality to forget sometimes, especially if she gets super excited. 

clumsy ass bitch. NUFF SAID x 100. she is the type to be talking to someone, and then find herself crashing into a door, or almost walking into a busy street. 

she’s your go to if you want spontaneous fun - not just partying, but even just to hang out. you’re bored ? gigi will take you to a painting class. 

she’s clumsy, not stupid ! which a lot of ppl will confuse. especially in clubs, where people will try to take advantage of her, and gi will play dumb up until she’s the one playing the game on them. a devil in an angel’s costume to pit it plainly.

she has issues, like many people ! especially because of her family. it’s a sore spot, and the only way to really forget is when she’s out in the club at night - and well, you know, all the bad things come out to play during those times. she looks to alcohol and drugs to keep her sane sometimes, even when it shouldn’t. it’s not something she talks about either, and prefers it to stay as hidden as possible due to her image being the sweet girl kinda type. 

i really hate that she falls in love 14987348957439 times a day. its cos she tries to see the best in people, and then gets hurt and DKFGHJFDKJGHDF GIRL NO, UR BETTER THAN THIS. it gets her into a lot of drama, i want to push her into a door. 

her happy place is by the beach when it’s quiet with a bonfire and maybe strumming an acoustic guitar. that’s where she’d go to get away from everything. 

she’s never seen snow, and doesn’t know if she’d like it. so that’s something. 

gigi has a fear of seagulls. they’re demons with wings. prove her wrong. i dare you.

she doesn’t like being called by her real name - not even angie. only close friends call her angie since it’s more personal. her brand is gigi, therefore prefers to be called that.

if you call her anything besides that, she may actually just punch you - doesn’t matter if she’s small !! 

THAT’S ALL FOR NOW FOLKS ! 

i’d add a connections part, but im a hoe for everything you got. let’s brainstorm together !

[joohcoco]

Balmush: Rakshasa

Hello everyone! Finally here is the story! Sorry it took so long. It’s a little over 2500 words. Sorry if my English is a little weird, I tried my best to edit it with grammarly. But if you like it I might write a second part or if you would like me to write for a different monster please send me an ask! Anyways onto the story!

The Kingdom of Galerran was unknown to most, but some knew of the powerful Galerrans that lived on the island south of the most powerful nations in the world. The King, King Jürgen, was a jolly king who was welcoming of mostly anyone into his kingdom. Galerran housed creatures from the darkest depths of the world to the brightest. From humans to orcs, anyone and everyone were welcomed. King Jürgen’s wife, Queen Elisha, had seven children. All the children were blessed with the king's curly locks and their mother's freckled skin. All the children were beautiful, some with their fathers paler skin, some with their mother's more olive skin, as well as some who were in between.

Emilia was a taller child. She was an average size for her tall stature and as much as she tried to gain weight her high metabolism fought back much to her displeasure. Even though she was thin, she had a round face with full cheeks and round doe eyes. Her red birthmark on her right cheek caught the attention of others, but she didn’t mind it. Emilia was a kind girl who often thought of others rather than herself. She had a shy exterior, but is a firecracker within. She also had a secret.

She was in love with her guard, Balmush.

Balmush had a very stoic persona. He was very tall, taller than the other guards as well as the door frames. He had been guarding her for nearly two years after the previous guard attempted to force himself upon Emilia. He was the perfect gentleman in her eyes. He helped her with anything she needed and comforted her when she also needed it. He wouldn’t admit it, but he had grown close to her as well.

“Balmush, how old are you?” She asked him one day. He continued walking down the hall. The question not phasing him. Emilia was on her way to meet her parents.

“I would be a hint over forty in human age, m’lady.” His deep voice spoke.

She looked up at him in amazement, “You don’t even look like you are thirty! How are you not wed!”

He smiled, “I am past my prime. I am not as young as I once was. No one wants an old cat, ma’lady.”

She giggled at his wording, “You would be quite the catch, Balmush. You are very handsome and a gentleman. Any woman would be grateful to have you as their husband.”

Balmush smiled. It wasn’t the first time her guard’s smile made her blush. In her eyes, Balmush was very handsome and she wanted nothing more for him to praise her, like he did every day, for the rest of her life. He made her happy. Even though she’s tried on numerous occasions to get his attention, he didn’t see her as anything, but the princess he was to protect.

“Balmush! How are you, dear friend!” The king asked with his booming voice.

Balmush placed his right hand against his heart and bowed slightly, “I am wonderful, your majesty. How are you both? You look stunning today as always, My Queen.”

The Queen smiled, “You surely know your way with words, Balmush. You probably have women at your feet begging to be with you.”

He smiled a toothy grin and chuckled, “No one wants an old fart like me, Ma’Lady.”

The Queen tutted behind her hand, “If only you knew.”

Emilia’s eyes widened in fear. Her mother wouldn’t blow her cover, would she? The king cleared his throat, “Now I wish to inform you that you will be guarding my youngest child very soon, Balmush.”

Emilia’s gaze quickly averted to her father's, “What?! Papa why?”

The King smiled and placed his hand on her head, “You have an upcoming courtship! Two gentlemen have asked for your hand, so I have invited them to visit and meet you!”

The Queen sighed, she knew Emilia was not going to be happy with this announcement and tried explaining that to her husband multiple times. She avoided telling him that she had loved the dear guard he assigned his daughter. She watched as her daughter began to tear up, “Papa! I don’t want to meet them! I’ve told you I didn’t want to be arranged to anyone!”

The King's large beard slowly fell, “Oh come on, Emilia. I have already made plans! At Least meet him.”

Emilia rubbed her tears furiously and nodded. He laughed happily, “Great! They will be here in the next few days!”

The princess just nodded again and quickly turned to make a quick exit. The Queen sighed and hit her husbands arm, “I can’t believe you made the arrangements before even talking to her. Balmush, darling, would you run and check on her? She will probably only talk to you.”

Balmush bowed slightly, “Of course, M’Lady”

Balmush then turned and left the throne room, quickly making his way down to his princess’ room. He could hear the Queen scolding her husband as he left. He soon found her room with ease and knocked on the door.

“M’Lady it’s me…”

The soft pats of bare feet caused his ears to twitch slightly. The door opened slowly revealing Emilia. She quickly hugged him burying her face into Balmush’s poached stomach. He slowly patted her head. He had always been weak to her crying face. He slowly moved towards her bed and lifted her to sit on the plush duvets.

“He only wants what is best for you, he’s not doing this to be spiteful. Your father loves you more than anything in this world.”

She shook her head disagreeing, “He’s just doing this so I’ll be married! I already have someone I like! And…and I’ll never have a chance at that now if I’m being arranged to marry someone else!”

Emilia continues to cry into Balmush’s side and he comforts her like he’s always done. He gently caresses her wild curly locks as a few minutes past and he believes she’s sleeping. As her sobs ceased he carefully adjusted her across the bed. He carefully placed her head on her feather pillow and moved any hairs from her face. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in all the years he was living. Sure he’s been with plenty of women in his younger years, but she was perfect.

He loved her determined attitude and how gentle and caring she was, but he accepted long ago that she was the princess and he was simply her guard. He was moving the last curl from her face when he leaned down and placed a hesitant peck on her soft lips. He pulled away only to hear a soft sneeze.

Achoo

He froze. His golden eyes looked down at the princess who looked at him with a big grin. She quickly threw her arms around his neck. He felt the skin under his fur quickly turn warm. Emilia teasing ran her fingers across his upper back and pulled him towards her.

“My, My, Balmush making moves on the princess. Who would have ever thought?” She teased him.

“M-M-Ma’Lady! I didn’t mean to wake you! I mean, I don’t know what I was thinking!” He tried to reason.

Emilia giggled as he fumbled with his words. She pulled him until some of his weight was directly on top of her. Balmush could feel his stomach touching her and he was getting warmer by the second.

“I must be dreaming, who would have thought you’d make the first move,” Emilia said as she ran her fingers through the hair on his neck that stood up.

“I don’t quite understand, Ma’Lady”

Grinning Emilia ran her fingers over his shoulders and down his chest. She could feel his muscles tense at her teasing fingertips. She continued down his sides and slowly slipped her fingers into his trousers. She wiggled her fingers right below his navel.

“Ma’Lady!” He jolted as her fingers teased him.

“Do you know how bad I hoped you’d jump me one day. I may be young, but I know exactly what I want. I am constantly flirting with you, yet you only look to me as your King’s daughter. You are just her guard and nothing more. Little did you know the princess has had her eyes set on you since she met you.” She explained as her fingertips drew small circles into his fur.

He jolted at the teasing fingers, “Ma’lady this is highly inappropriate! W-What would your parents think!”

Emilia rolled her eyes, “My mother knows of my feelings. She was trying to hint at it this afternoon, but you were completely oblivious. What, you don’t like me? You’re not exactly trying to stop me, Balmush.”

She slipped her hand into his trousers gently massaging his length. As she did, she slowly felt his length revealing itself from its sheath. He didn’t stop her, he was confused. He didn’t know what to do, this wasn’t the princess he knew.

“Oh god, m’lady. We could be caught!” He tried to reason.

“Then let me blow you and I’ll let you go.” She spoke looking him in the eye. He wanted to avoid her eye contact but she was too tempting. They kept eye contact as she moved her hand to his shaft and started to rub her thumb across the pointed tip. His hips betrayed him and bucked into her hand.

“Oh, your body speaks for itself. Looks like it would like me to continue? Hmm?” She asked as she quickened her pace.

“Ha, mmhm.” He moaned softly as her delicate hands rubbed him so wonderfully. He could feel himself losing control.

“Getting close?” She asked.

He nodded. He was losing his strength.

“If you are going to cum, it will be in my mouth Balmush.” She said looking at him. He shut his eyes tightly. Her mouth was pure, to ruin it would be against everything he pledged to the King. He was suddenly shoved onto his butt on the bed.

Emilia moved so she was now kneeling on the bed. She bent down to his shaft and started to pump him, Balmush tried his hardest to pull his trousers up.

“W-We can’t!” He tried, but nothing was stopping the princess. She gripped him a little tighter. He stopped and watched as she brought him to her mouth. His length slowly disappeared in her warm mouth.

“Ahhh....” A deep groan left his throat as his head leaned back. He looked down again and noticed as only about half of his length fit. The princess had tears slowly slipping down her rosy cheeks. She came back up and noticed he was watching her. She smiled and put his length back into her mouth not losing eye contact with him. He could feel how close he was. Her hand pumping what didn’t fit in her mouth at a quick pace.

“Shit, it’s coming.” He groaned as his climax suddenly came. She stopped and let him fill her mouth. It was bitter. Balmush groaned as he felt her hand pumping all she could get from him. Emilia slowly pulled away making sure not to waste a single drop. He watched as she swallowed everything in her mouth. Some spilling at the corners of her plump lips.

“Y-You swallowed?! You could get sick!” He quickly pulled his trousers back up and wiped the corners of her mouth with his handkerchief. She rolled your eyes.

“You’re nothing like I thought you were. Not the big bad tiger you seem to be. You’re actually quite sensitive aren't you?”

Balmush frowned, “I can’t believe you did that. How am I going to face the King and Queen now! I’ll be banished from the kingdom!”

Balmush quickly stood up and made his way to leave. Emilia quickly stood up, “Balmush! Wait!”

She chased him down the hall, “Balmush please!”

He continued to ignore her and make his way down the hall. Would he quit being her guard? Or even leave the palace? A thousand thoughts ran rapid in her mind of the horrible outcome of what she did to Balmush.

“Emilia!” Emilia stopped and looked behind her. There was her mother, the Queen. She looked Emilia up and down. Emilia was in nothing but her corset cover and petticoat, she had stripped of everything in her crying fit. Nothing she should have been wearing running down the halls. Balmush walked towards the Queen and got on one knee. He bowed his head forward gripping the hand of the Queen.

“I am sorry your majesty. I shall be punished as you see fit, for I have allowed for your daughter to force herself upon me-“

“Yah! I don’t want to hear of the evening you both had. I have no intention of punishing you, nor does my husband. I won’t allow it. I knew of my daughter's feelings way before she did. Just as I have known of yours for her.” She explained, “Now I hope the distressed face of my daughters is not your doing, Balmush.”

Emilia was shocked at her mother’s words. He had feelings for her? She looked between her mother and Balmush. Looking to Balmush and grabbing his arm, “...is this true?”

Balmush avoided her gaze. His childness caused the Queen to laugh softly. She rubbed her hand down the side of her daughter’s cheek.

“Emilia. This isn’t the first time he’s asked me to ‘punish him for his awful feeling towards the princess’. These last few years he has been asking me what to do of these ‘awful urges’.”

“M’lady! Please!” Balmush tried to get her to quit speaking of their private conversations. He couldn’t believe it, his biggest secret being exposed. He suddenly jerked as the Princess pulled relentlessly on his arm. His gaze met hers, she had stars in her eyes. He could feel himself melt.

“Balmush! Why didn’t you tell me you liked me!” She groaned in agony. There were too many emotions she was feeling today. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She suddenly threw herself onto him.

“Balmush! Let’s go out at the weeks end! Just me and you! No princess and her guard, just as us. A date!” She exclaimed.

The Queen smiled, “Sounds like a great idea! I’ll have Lorath stand guard while you all have a wonderful date! So, Balmush darling, take my daughter on a wonderful date as a suitor not as her guard.”

Balmush looked to the queen in shock, “I couldn’t possibly…”

“Hush, I am not suggesting it, and am telling you to take her on a date as a suitor. One I’ve picked for my daughter and not the king. The Queen should have a say in who her daughter is to be wed by.” The Queen smiled at him kindly. Balmush was still uncertain, his nervousness fueled his uncertainty. He didn't believe he was the one for the princess.

“Okay, M’Lady. I will begin my preparations for our date, and I will try my best to make it the best you’ve had.”

Note: Thank you sooooo much for reading! This is my first story and I just wanted to apologize ahead of time for any mistakes! I am very bad at grammar and writing haha. Please like and comment as well as send me messages or request. I am new to this monster world and I’m in love and want to write more!

-Coco❣️ 

[thecandywrites]

The Pink Panther

So this story is again, inspired from a crazy dream I had and again, like a woman possessed I JUST HAD TO WRITE IT. all my other wips and commissions be damned and just staring at my compulsary working on this going ‘uh, excuse me? Hello? You didn’t forget about us right? Right?!” and me going ‘but crazy idea that will drive me mad if I don’t get out of my head!’ in the same tone Hulk said ‘big monster!’ to Thor when Thor told him not to smash. And it’s a break from...well, everything I usually write. You see this is what you get when you watch count of Monte Cristo AND The Pink Panther from the 60′s. THAT PINK PANTHER and all those period dramas *cough* Harlots on Hulu *cough*. You get a nightmare fart of a story from three things that probably shouldn’t ever be crossed over. So I just need this out of my system so I can FOCUS on the other things and it was a really fun dream. Dashing lords in disguise, huge gems, a foul plot afoot and the promise of fortune greater than your wildest dreams. It’s fine it’s fine. 

Vidame Emilia Bellim sat in the back of her carriage with her best friend who just happened to also be her childhood friend and chaperon Fredrick as they rode to a strange palace in a remote area of Europe. Emily’s title and prestige meant that Emily was respected and sought after by nobles all over Europe, thinking that there was a great fortune behind her to be won when Emily’s adopted grandmother who was in poor health would pass and Emily had just gotten done being hosted by such a noble for such a purpose. While Fredrick on the other hand, his father was a scientist. One of the best but was eccentric, becoming at risk of being enemies of the state with his rantings. And while there was no romance between them, they were closer than siblings and the best of friends with Fredrick and his father living with Emily and her grandmother at Emily’s estate and Fredrick acting as her chaperon to make sure the nobles behaved themselves and only acted in the most gentlemanly like ways towards her and that Emily and her reputation would be protected at all times and that she would stay well above reproach.  

“So where exactly are we going?” Freddy asked after a while of traveling on the well traveled road.  

“To Count Sparta’s estate, his eldest son has been deemed eligible for marriage now and I am one of the few deemed worthy of being considered a prospect for him, apparently.” Emily answered sarcastically before Freddy snorted a laugh as his smile grew fond.

“My grandmother got a letter from Count Sparta himself and she promptly sent the carriage and another letter with it and sent me to go to this place. The first letter makes no sense, I’ve read it repeatedly and nothing makes sense. It’s like one of her many riddles.” Emily groused as she handed the letters over to Freddy to look over in the light of the lantern in the carriage next to him. Freddy frowned as he read them and tried to make sense of them too. He read them over twice and even to him it didn’t make a bit of sense. So he simply handed them back with a shrug before looking back out over the darkening landscape. When they stopped at an inn, they simply took a single room as Freddy helped Emily undress before the two crawled in bed together and cuddled close.

“I will always prefer to sleep with you more than anyone else.” Emily sighed contentedly with her head resting over his chest.

“Only because you know I’ll never grope you or worse.” Freddy teased.

“Precisely.” Emily smiled before she rolled over so that he spooned her and wrapped his arms around her waist before the two promptly fell asleep. After a long three days of travel on the road and staying at another inn only a few short hours away from Count Sparta’s estate the day before the letter demanded they arrive, they rested for the night, in the morning, Freddy helped Emily get ready into a new gown her grandmother sent her and helped her with her hair and makeup. Freddy always could make her look ravishing so that every other man seemed to fall in love with her with just a look at her and in return Emily got Freddy ready, making him look dashingly handsome. Her grandmother sent Freddy some new clothes as well so that he looked like a proper dandy and the two looked like a pair in matching peacock teal which did wonders for Emily’s fair complexion and natural dark red hair, something of a novelty all the nobles sought after but it was something she didn’t let get to her head so to speak, if anything it only empowered her to resist their advances and to be as picky as she wished about who she would keep company with and had rules about her person that most ladies in her status and circumstance could only dream of demanding but it was because of who was backing her that no one dared question it. Her adopted grandmother was a  grand duchess and was related to the royal families, some kind of great aunt who’s power and influence was great and whose fortune was famed to be unusually large and supposedly independent than that of the royal family and their monarchies, she had a fierce reputation for being a perfectionist in not just her home or her clothing but of others and had had no natural children of her own. And how Emilia got to be her grand daughter was something of a mystery but never questioned and that once the grand duchess named Emilia her only rightful heir, it was simply accepted as much and her adopted grandmother groomed Emilia to be practically perfect and poured all of her resources into Emilia’s education and talents to make Emilia the ideal in all things. Frustrating for a small child but as Emilia got older, she realized the value in such hard work since it now garnered her something priceless, respect wherever she went.

When they arrived at the sprawling and luxurious estate, their host did not greet them, instead the steward and his assistants did and Emily greeted them in graciousness and with the utmost respect in turn and soon realized she was in the company of some of the more keen minds but with checkered pasts and wild reputations of Europe’s elite and she felt right at home in such company for some reason and soon Freddy left her side as the two quickly gathered as much information from the other guests as they could as to why they were there. All of the other guests had gotten similar, perplexing letters as they soon began sharing them, Freddy and Emily quickly and easily memorizing the other’s letters as they gathered that the other guests were there for the same objective but varied incentives and motivations, a few felt they were being blackmailed to come here since their daughters were part of the pool of approved nobility that most royal princes would use to pick out a future queen out of. Others thought it was intrigue while most just thought it was harmless fun and a game as everyone was with a daughter of marrying age and knew that the estate had two sons of marrying age and all the letters mentioned the eldest and his quest to find a bride which is why Emily found herself surrounded by over a dozen of the most eligible ladies, dressed in gowns just as grand, if not more so than her own before they were seated for dinner. But again, their host did not join them, instead the steward and his assistants led the meal. Which was beyond delicious and Freddy and Emily happily gorged themselves. Not having had a good, decent meal in the last few days it took for them to get there.

“How do you like the meal Lady Bellim?” Rolf, the steward’s lead attendant inquired of her as he refilled her wine glass for her, having heard that her tastes were on par with royalty when it came to excellence and refinement.  

“Quite excellent, I’m very impressed, the variety of seasonings used is impressive, the techniques are a wonderful blend of the tried and true and new. I have yet to have an off mouthful. The cooks and all those tasked with helping to prepare this feast are to be commended, truly.” Emily praised genuinely as Rolf smiled proudly.

“Do you not think that the pigeon is over-spiced?” Viscountess Lucretia asked as she couldn’t help but cough as her eyes watered and she fanned herself and tried to cleanse her palette with more wine.

“No, not at all, I detect a wide variety of spice, particularly saffron, turmeric, chili pepper, coriander and cumin, is this your first time trying anything with any of those? Most feel the smallest fraction is too much because of how intense they can be, especially chili pepper.” Emily returned from her place across from Lucretia.

“That must be it then, I do not care for it at all.” She made a disgusted face before downing the rest of her wine before another attendant came and refilled her glass.

“You are from the mountain range of Italy are you not? There are herbs that grow in the mountains which are quite fine and should be just as esteemed as the silk road spices. Perhaps you would prefer the meal if it had more of those in it.” Emily pointed out and the Viscountess smiled appreciatively.

“Yes. Very much so, I have heard that you are very well traveled and prefer the silk road spices, no doubt why you were able to distinguish them so easily.” Lucretia returned fondly, appreciating Emily’s respectful esteem and making it so that her beloved herbs were equal to the famed silk road spices which was a compliment she greatly admired and appreciated.

“I appreciate all spices, no matter their origin, as long as they are used well.” Emily grinned as she continued to eat and thoroughly enjoyed the meal, trying some of every dish.  

“Now where does the title Vidame come from or mean? I don’t believe I’ve ever heard of it before.” Lucretia asked Emily curiously who smiled appreciatively as she wiped her mouth and cleared her mouth so that she could speak clearly.

“It is a title awarded by His Holiness the Pope himself, it was given to my father for commanding the Pope’s army and Bishop’s forces- not just in the Vatican but all over the Holy Empire. I inherited the title when my father passed since I am the only child of my parents and while I’m not expected to perform my late father’s duties, I enjoy the doting from His Holiness as perhaps any beloved grandchild would from a grandfather. In fact this cross is a gift from him for my birthday a few years back since my birthday falls in the Holy Week. I spend every birthday with His Holiness at the Vatican.” Emily boasted as she gestured to the outrageously gaudy cross that was encrusted with jewels that weighed heavily on her chest as all the other families gasped softly as they realized they should have risked breaking the rules and brought their sons to try to woo her too even though it was expressed that only chaperons, guardians and fathers be allowed to come to keep Lord Sparta from having to compete for any lady’s attention. But to have the Pope’s blessing was invaluable, no wonder she could go wherever she wished in the Holy Empire and beyond without a problem or could demand that no one touch her or invade her personal space because she had the pope’s backing and protection. They had all heard how the last poor soul who tried not only got stripped of all his lands and holdings by the king as demanded by the Pope, but excommunicated and promptly killed himself for the shame he brought on himself. So to be Vidame by the pope and future Grand Duchess when her grandmother would pass, would be a double honor to add to any family tree.

After the meal the guests were invited to roam the estate for one hour as they pleased without hindrance because all the staff from the estate would gather in the dining room for that hour and Freddy and Emily combed over every bit of it they could, Freddy going to the upper floors while Emily searched the lower ones, trying to find the basement and found a tunnel, shut by a metal door and once she used the key her grandmother sent her- she opened it and wandered inside before it suddenly flashed flame and she dove to the ground as a flame lit up the roof of the cave but only for a brief moment, barely a second or two. When the flame was gone, she stood up and wiped the dirt off her gown and noticed that the walls and ceiling were covered in black soot and that the ground had become like soft but charred saw dust, with dead beetle corpses blowing in an unearthly breeze within the tunnel. Her letter from her grandmother had said ‘go where death is certain to achieve the best life’ and now that sentiment suddenly made sense. Count Sparta was rumored to have unlimited funds, from family lines from all over Europe that even the kings of such lands drooled over and that if any king dare oppose the Spartas, that they would simply move to a new sprawling estate in another country, bringing their wealth with them and leaving the monarchs of said country financially devastated because of a lack of tax revenue that the Spartas would pay and that in return for Sparta’s patronage, the Spartas were granted not just lands but titles galore in every country they took up residence in. But only the father was known to only the royal families and rarely socialized outside of the King’s private court where he was considered a royal adviser- so his face was relatively unknown. His sons were even bigger mysteries, the only people to talk about them were the scholars who came from all over Europe to educate them for a small time until they passed all pertinent knowledge over then they sent away with more wealth than they could hope to use in a lifetime. Perhaps all that wealth was hidden down here. She knew her hour was coming to an end and knew that at the end of the hour, wherever the guests would be, they would be locked there for the night, their own rooms being the only “safe” spaces there were. She quickly gathered her skirts and made a run for her room that she would be sharing with Freddy, passing all the other guests who were leisurely going to their own rooms. Not thinking there was much of any haste to it and not taking their warnings in their letters seriously at all. When she got there and saw that Freddy was on the other end of the hall, also quickly going to their room and carrying something heavy wrapped in his coat.

“Freddy! Run!” She yelled down the hall before Freddy quickly slipped out of his heeled shoes and ran for her as she pulled him into the room right in the nick of time and once inside the doors shut and locked on their own and there were so many other guests left out into the hallway who were angry and demanded that they should gain entry to their rooms for the night before they went looking for other rooms that had beds to get some sleep.

“What happened to you?” Freddy asked as he noticed Emily was covered in soot, the black staining the gorgeous peacock teal of her silk and satin dress.

“I went where death was certain.” Emily explained with a bright smile.

“What?” Freddy asked as he helped her out of her dress and helped her clean up, miraculously with only a dab of a damp cloth, the soot came out of it and didn’t actually stain the dress because it was dry dust at that point.

“Under the manor, where a basement should be, I found a cave, I believe it must have been a bat cave, but fire soon lit up the cave and I had to fall to the ground to keep the flames from eating me. The floor is covered in what feels like charred sawdust. But I think it is charred sawdust on top of guano. There were beetle and cockroach carcasses swirling in an unearthly wind. What did you find?” Emily asked.

“A telescope that rivals any and all that I had ever seen before. I could see the moon and Mars from it. There was also this,” Freddy answered as he pulled what he thought was a giant pink crystal from his coat that he had used to wrap around it and what had made his run difficult.

“Wow, it is obviously a very pink gemstone, a diamond perhaps, and it looks like there is a panther in it. You must have taken a rare gem indeed.” Emily realized when she took the large gem that was the size of a pomelo and had to be held with both hands as she looked it over, it was raw and uncut and gorgeous.

“Oh, oops.” Freddy grimaced.

“Do no worry my friend, we can return it tomorrow. But something is afoot tonight, we must try to figure it out.” Emily realized as she went over to the desk and put the gem down and took out not only her letter but everyone else’s letter that she happened to steal from them.

“I see your fingers are just as sticky as mine.” Freddy teased as he came over which got Emily to grin at him again before they both sat down and compared all the letters. An hour later, a chorus of screams was heard and Emily and Freddy looked at each other worriedly before it just pushed them to work harder but then a deathly quiet followed. Emily and Freddy began looking around the room for anything that could help them but found nothing of the sort before Freddy noticed the letters were numbered peculiarly.

“Fibonacci.” Freddy breathed before he looked at the letters and found that the letters were numbered in the upper right hand corner and arranged them in the Fibonacci sequence before they read them again in that order, this time, they began to make a little bit of sense, it was a set of warnings of how to survive their stay in the house. But they were missing several pages still.

“We are pawns in a game.” Emily realized as she grinned wider.

“You smile as if you are enjoying this.” Freddy teased.

“Who said I wasn’t?” Emily returned.“Come, lets get some sleep, we can’t think clearly if we haven’t slept.” Emily offered as they got ready for bed. In the morning, Emily acted as if nothing the least bit disturbing had happened the night before and was delighted when she checked the doors to see them unlocked. When she and Freddy went into the hall, most of the other guests were already running for their lives and leaving the place, screaming at the attendants and servants to make sure they got all their things so that they could leave this cursed place as soon as possible; a few of them begging Emily to leave too, saying that the house was haunted and that they were there to meet their deaths and to write to the Pope to tell him about it although all their accounts about the ghosts seemed strange to Emily.  

“Do you not wish to go also Lady Bellim?” Rolf asked her curiously as he and his men were done carrying things down for the other guests so they could leave, although he personally didn’t wish for her to go. He liked her the best, since she was kind, gracious and respectful whereas everyone else seemed to be haughty and rude.

“I have played many games with many lords Sir Rolf, this is yet another one. Besides, I feel there is a prize equal to the task that perhaps hasn’t been mentioned in the letters. I’m staying.” Emily firmly insisted. “Fredrick Dear, you are free to go if you wish, please don’t stay solely for my benefit.” Emily offered but Freddy was just as intrigued as she was.

“I believe I will be with you until the end, whatever that may be Emilia Darling.” Freddy returned before he sat down at the table to get some breakfast.

“If I may be so bold and if you’ll forgive my saying so,” Rolf began and paused to see her reaction, she raised a curious brow but her facial expression was of ease, inviting and curious which only emboldened him to finish his statement. “You two make quite the pair.” Rolf noted as Emily stayed right where she was next to Rolf feeling she was safer with Rolf than she was with any of the other guests. Like she could be at ease with him without being offensive or improper, like she could be friends with him. He had such a warm and inviting manner to his person and he was unusually handsome to her and he had a gentle charm about him too which she found quite attractive.  

“We are no pair at all, simply the best of friends who’ve known each other since childhood, we are closer than siblings and are like family but never more.” Emily whispered to Rolf as she spread her fan to cover her face and conceal her conversation with him but still offered him a friendly if not playful and fond smile which Rolf found enchanting. Most ladies plastered on fake or polite smiles, hers was different. It was genuine because even her eyes seemed to glitter and glow with delight. Rolf could understand why half of Europe was infatuated with her. Emily was lovely.  

“Oh?” Rolf asked curiously, hoping to keep her company for as long as he could.  

“My Dear Fredrick prefers the company of other men.” Emily whispered.

“I see,” Rolf nodded in understanding, his brother Fits would be delighted to learn that.

“So you can understand, as a lady who is constantly trying to get courted, how refreshing his company is and how much I can trust his companionship.” Emily added and Rolf could only nod in understanding and offer her a smile, he supposed if he were in her shoes, he would be the same way. “So if you’ll forgive my curiosity, how long have you been in service to his Lordship?” Emily asked since he seemed more talkative than most servants would be which she actually liked and enjoyed. Knowing that servants were people too and she usually received better service from them if she was kind and respectful to them and treated them with respect and dignity, that and it made her feel better as a person to be polite to them. Not thinking so highly of herself that she would look down on anyone else, especially servants.

“Since I was a boy.” Rolf answered.

“How often does his Lordship like to play such games?” Emily inquired.

“More often than not.” Rolf answered and Emily nodded in understanding.

“Thank you for your candor Sir Rolf, I greatly appreciate it.” Emily graciously thanked him.

“Thank you for yours Lady Bellim.” Rolf answered in kind and Emily couldn’t help but smile and felt a kinship to him and sat down to breakfast herself as Rolf watched her appreciatively. Most of the other people there talked down to him because they perceived him to be a servant when in reality, his father was Count Sparta and Lord of the house and pretending to be the Steward and he himself was Lord Sparta, parading around as his assistant to weed out the undeserving of their guests. Rolf had expressed an interest in getting married and his father’s way of dealing with that was to have this charade, wanting only the most brave and clever girl to be his son’s wife and so far only Emily and a few other girls and their families remained, those ones however were the more despicable families in his opinion. He strode over to his brother to whisper Emily’s revelation to him, knowing his own brother also preferred the company of other men too, his brother absolutely delighted to hear the news and immediately traded places with one of the servants so that he could attend to Freddy himself.  

After breakfast they were invited to tour the gardens, which they did. Emily and Freddy however easily crept out of them and really tried to survey the grounds and when they got to the other side of the house, they found bare wilderness, black smoke billowed out of some craggy rocks every so often near a cliff and at the cliff, there was a waterfall, the waters coming out from deep underneath the manor. Rolf watched from a distance, having panicked that he lost her on the grounds and went looking for her and breathed in relief when he found her but couldn’t help but appreciate Emily’s tenacity and bravery for exploring where she was, even laying on the ground to try to look over the cliff safely. Also appreciating the fact that she was more than a pretty face. She had a kindness and a humility to her nature that he found very appealing. He had heard many rumors about her, how she was as uncommonly pretty as she was clever, discerning and brilliant, too brilliant for a woman. Headstrong and lively too. Which to him were exactly what he was looking for. He wanted a wife to excite his mind as much as his body while warming his heart, he also heard rumors she was skittish, rebellious and refused to be coerced into anything she didn’t want to do and so far she had lived up to her reputation.  He was looking forward to seeing how she would react to the next test.

At lunch his father got his own steward and his own steward’s sons to pose as himself and his sons, riding gallantly up the drive and making a grand entrance and apologizing that they had urgent business with the king that they needed to take care of at the last minute, Rolf and Fits carrying the large chest of gold coins as the ‘payment’ for their services to the king which worked like a charm as the other guests eyed the gold laden chest with the same hunger a starving man would look at a plated meal. Then the real Lords watched how all the other families would react to their replacements and to no one’s surprise, all the daughters were pushed to fawn over the fake heirs. Rolf was keenly delighted however when Emily was not one of them, even though she was amiable and polite, she didn’t throw herself at the acting Lord like the other girls did. Instead she seemed to be keen on observing him but the more she was around him, the more it was obvious to Rolf that she did not like his acting replacement and made no further bids for his time or attention. He watched Emily look out the window after playing a card game with his replacement and had won and cashed out the moment she got all the winnings instead of staying to continue to play as he came to stand next to her since the light in her brilliant aquamarine eyes had died a little and now she looked rather sullen and it pained him to see her so, usually any girl would be over the moon winning as much as she did but instead she was looking more sullen than the losers were- now that her back was to everyone else and no one else cared to see how she was.

“Are you alright Lady Bellim?” Rolf asked as he came to stand with her at the large window.

“Yes, perfectly alright Sir Rolf, many thanks for your concern.” Emily answered, her whole being lighting up and the warmth of her expression returning the moment she noticed him come near her.

“Do you not take delight in his Lordship?” Rolf asked, fearing Emilia had already seen through the ruse.

“Could I be honest with you without causing offense?” Emily asked warily but with hints of hopefulness.

“Please, by all means, you have a fantastic mind, please continue to bestow upon me the candor we enjoyed earlier.” Rolf invited and couldn’t help but let his own grin grow as hers did the same.  

“His Lordship is handsome to be sure. However I have heard rumors from his previous tutors that his Lordship is supposed to be uncommonly clever and brilliant and so far I do not find him to be so. All of his gambles were, and continue to be- reckless and stupid. The other ladies loose on purpose so as to make him out to be the winner anyway and it wasn’t because he was dealt bad cards, it was because he played good cards badly. If he were to loose so they would gain on purpose is one thing but what he is doing is another. It was too easy to win against him, that is why I do not play with him now, he would loose this entire estate and I do not like to take unfair advantage of him or any other stupid person, it’s just not right.” Emily answered softly so that only Rolf would hear her. “To be such a Lord and to know that all this rests on his shoulders, he would know since birth to be more careful. It is as if he lives in a fantasy of his own making just like every other Lord and Noble who likes to squander their resources I know- and I do not care for it. And his conversation is lacking. It’s as deep as a puddle. He’s supposed to have some of the best education in all of Europe and so far he does not live up to his reputation. I’ve made mentions and references of the classics and the well known riddles and rhetoric and he responds as if I am speaking gibberish. I am profoundly disappointed.” Emily explained and Rolf was ready to kiss her because she saw through it without realizing it and she was a woman who knew her stuff and when he had overheard her conversations over the course of the card game, he was inwardly groaning and fighting not to join in himself because everything she said went over his replacement’s head and Rolf wanted to know her opinions on everything because she was educated and informed about everything she tried talking about. To have anyone be as educated as himself, his father and his brother was a rare treat and delight and his stand in, while knowledgeable about how to run an estate and how to take care of lord and guest alike, was severely lacking in all other topics but she was the only one to make it show. And he could do nothing but respect her for it. And respect her for staying true to herself and not dumb-ing herself down to flatter his replacements like the other girls instantly had.

“So what can you tell me about the cave under the manor, unless you must be getting back to your duties.” Emily initiated since she had his attention for the moment, might as well benefit from it and enjoy it.

“There is a natural gas leak into the cave system under the manor that spontaneously combusts. You should stay away from it.” Rolf warned her but instead of shock and horror at that revelation, he found a smug grin meeting his statement which was intriguing him to say the least.  

“Too late, I found it last night, my grandmother wrote a letter to me- in it she told me to go ‘where death is eminent for the treasure of life’ along with a key to the door and I intend to do the opposite of that.” Emily revealed as she pulled a key out of her little purse, which was already stuffed with her winnings for the briefest of moments and Rolf blinked in surprise at her.

“Then if you insist on returning to that place, please permit me to join you, it would be improper for such a Lady as yourself to get injured on these grounds.” Rolf insisted- eager to leave the drawing room and the mindless banter and the disingenuous laughter. Even more eager to spend time one and one with her, even as improper as that was.  

“Could we go now?” Emily asked as her features lit up with excitement.

“Of course.” Rolf answered.

“I believe I’ll get changed into proper attire first.” Emily said as she left and dressed into Freddy’s lower clothes which were simply what he wore when he wanted to be comfortable before Freddy and Rolf’s brother Fits joined them as Rolf tried and failed not to look at the shapeliness of her legs and hips. Thinking that women in trousers, well her in trousers was quite becoming actually. He wondered what she would be like riding astride on a horse or better yet, riding astride him but he quickly tried and failed to push that thought from his head.

“So where are we going then?” Freddy asked.

“To the burning caves under the house, care to join me?” Emily beamed happily as she put all the letters and put them into a small leather satchel for later reference.

“But of course.” Freddy agreed as he changed into some lower clothes too and the four of them set off and Rolf watched in fascination as Emily seemed to know exactly where she was going as if she had grown up here herself as they took a lantern and with Emily once again opening the door with her key, they gained entry and started traversing the caves.

“How well have you explored these caves Sir Rolf?” Emily asked Rolf.

“Please, just Rolf, Lady Bellim.” Rolf corrected, he wanted her to use his name, that title would do him little good down here. He hated it down here and only came down here when absolutely necessary or from a direct order of his father to retrieve something in particular.

“If you are going to dispense with formality, in my case then I ask that you do the same. Emily, please.” Emily insisted as she shook hands with him as they were soon grinning happily at each other.

“So back to my question, how well have you explored these caves Rolf?” Emily asked.

“Not well at all.” Rolf professed as they trudged through, the lantern turned up so as to light up the caves better.

“And you?” Emily asked Fits.

“This is the first time in them My Lady.” Fits answered nervously, their father always threatened them with throwing them in here as punishment growing up and he was nearly pissing himself in fear, but as such Freddy and himself had already dispensed with formality and had talked all through the card game and Fits was already becoming loath to leave Freddy’s side.

“Please, Emily, we are all friends here are we not?” Emily asked.

“Indeed we are Emily.” Fits beamed. He could see what his brother liked about her. She had an ease to her that most girls did not before the gas ignited and they all dove down to the ground, Fits and Freddy falling to try to shield each other and Emily as Rolf shielded Emily completely with himself and once the flames extinguished the four got up and dusted themselves off.

“Well that was exciting.” Emily beamed happily, happy that Rolf hadn’t tried to sneak a feel of her at all, simply tried to protect her courageously, which she thought was sweet of him as he helped her back up to her feet.

“You are the only one who could think so Emily.” Fits grumbled, having nearly fainted when that happened.

“The breeze is coming from over there.” Freddy realized when he licked his finger to feel the direction of the breeze more keenly.

“Yes but our expedition earlier proved that there is nothing in that direction but a vent in a ceiling, I came to see if these caves are connected to the water.” Emily explained as Fits and Rolf looked at each other in surprise. She was smarter than they had estimated. “So in my experience, head closer to the humidity and downwards.” Emily suggested before they came to a fork. One leading upwards while the other went downwards.

“The gas likes to gravitate towards elevation, thus why it ignites in the ceiling, we will be safer if we head downwards if we were to head upwards the ignition line will only lower to our level and burn us up for sure.” Emily noted as Fits grew even more afraid and Freddy, took a leap and held onto Fits’ hand as the two clung to one another as Emily grinned encouragingly at Freddy.

“Do you know fear at all Emily?” Rolf asked as they went further down the second tunnel grabbing her hand to steady her decent as he went first before her through the deepening charred guano that was starting to get wetter in shallower depths.

“Of course I do, it is because I respect it so that I have gotten this far.” Emily answered. “Do you know why there was screaming last night?” Emily asked Rolf seemingly as an afterthought.

“I do not, when we came upon the other guests, they claimed they had seen ghosts.” Rolf only partially lied, himself and his brother and father and half the staff dressing up as ghosts to scare their guests away on purpose.

“Well it can be argued that most estates are haunted. The unspeakable acts usually unfolded within the walls of the wealthy and powerful make them such.” Emily reasoned.

“I do hope you have never been a victim of such atrocities?” Rolf ventured, appalled that she would be resigned to such a notion, wanting to protect her from such crimes.

“Of course I have, I’m an orphan and heiress to an estate, I have known nothing but. Talk seriously with any Mistress and she’ll tell you the horrors of every Lord. I am lucky in that I have a choice in the matter, most in my position do not.” Emily returned and Rolf found himself helpless to not respect such an answer.

“However, upon hearing statements from the other guests, I do wonder if perhaps several servants were simply under sheets with holes cut out for the eyes, based on the fact that ghosts cast neither shadow or make human sounds, like snickering laughter and loud thundering steps when they run. Surely if I see a ghost I am throwing my cross at it and if it goes right through, it’s a real ghost, if it makes contact with something solid, it is simply a joke-ster. I have heard rumors that Lord Sparta does enjoy a good ruse, it would not surprise me in the least if he put his own servants up to scaring his own guests.” Emily mused as she watched Rolf and Fits look away guiltily and narrowed her eyes playfully as her grin grew smug.

“Well surely if I get approached by such a ghost, there are plenty suits of armor in the halls, I shall not hesitate to grab a spear or javelin and run them through with it.” Emily professed.

“And Emily is quite inept at throwing things, like a modern David and Goliath.” Freddy boasted as Rolf and Fits looked at each other worriedly as they both made mental notes to not even attempt to scare her later and would be warning the others of that to leave Emily and Freddy alone lest something tragic happen.  

“I have heard rumors that you are uncommonly clever and brave. I am blessed to know these rumors are true, his Lordship would be a fool for not wanting you like all the rest.” Rolf praised, changing the subject.

“That buffoon upstairs? No thank you. Although being mistress of these caves would be a wonder but I doubt I shall ever get to explore them again. As soon as he chooses a bride and the real prize is revealed, I’m sure we will all be sent home. But this has been a most fun game and I’ll mourn it’s loss when it’s done.” Emily returned as Fits snickered a laugh at Emily’s bluntness as Rolf could only stare at her in awed amazement.  

“You would make the best mistress of these caves.” Fits praised.

“Thank you, that is the highest praise I’ve ever received.” Emily beamed happily before they heard the flames light up again and they all dove to the ground once again. Rolf, shielding Emily with himself again as Fits and Freddy did the same to each other and Emily true to Emily’s guess, the flames only hugged the ceiling this time and quickly running up towards the other passages. Knowing they all would have been dead for sure if they hadn’t followed her direction.

“Ha! I knew it! They do lead to the water!” Emily beamed as she found a stream as Rolf was careful with the lantern to only light up the stream, the mass of their fortune in giant chests on the other side of the stream along with the stairwell that led directly to his father’s room and he didn’t want Emily to see that part. Although if she was brave enough to traverse these caves perhaps she was entitled to it on that merit alone.

“Come on.” Emily urged them.

“Woah, woah, woah, what are you doing?” Rolf stopped her when she made a run for the stream.

“I’m going to ride down the waterfall it’s not that tall, I’ve jumped from higher. You go feet first.” Emily giggled and Rolf just smiled brighter at her. She was perfect.  

“Not without me.” Rolf said once he grabbed a firm hold onto her hand and they both made a run for the stream and jumped in together, both of them cackling with laughter as their splash extinguished the lantern.  

“Is she always like that?” Fits asked Freddy as they clung to each other in the darkness.  

“Yeah, come on, before the cave alights again.” Freddy said as he led Fits over to the river’s edge as they both jumped in hand in hand too.

“I have never in my life, done anything like this.” Fits admitted with a laugh as they felt the stream carry them down before, in an act of courage kissed Freddy before Freddy kissed him back.

“Isn’t this so much fun?” Emily asked Rolf as they floated further down stream as they both fought to keep their heads above water while still keeping a hold of each other.

“It is.” Rolf laughed despite himself before the mouth of the falls appeared.

“Ok feet first!” Emily laughed as she gripped his hand even tighter before they both yelled in delight as they plummeted to the lake below followed closely by Freddy and Fits who both hollered loudly as Rolf and Emily laughed before they made sure they were all ok before they swam to the shore and once on land the four of them laughed until they were crying and continued to talk all the way back to the estate.

“It would be a pleasure to be your friend Rolf and if I could ever steal you away from his Lordship, I would, in heartbeat.” Emily offered to Rolf once he dropped her off at her room while Freddy went with Fits to get some clean dry clothes in his own temporary room because that kiss ignited their own fire.  

“Only if you’ll allow me the same opportunity.” Rolf returned charmingly.

“Deal.” Emily grinned as she handed him her hand for him to shake again as he shook it before he kissed her hand affectionately and that kiss sent a shivering, delightful tingle throughout Emily’s body, the first kiss she had ever received to elicit such a reaction from her before she, out pure rebelliousness did the same to him which made him blush and smile bashfully. He really loved her now before she felt even bolder and used her hold on his hand and pulled him in to kiss him before he kissed her back, framing her beautiful face with his hands as she wrapped her arms around him to pull him flush with herself and felt the heat of his body come through their drenched clothes.

“You should get dressed for dinner Emily.” Rolf insisted even though he wanted to take things further but knew if he did, the jig would be up and he confess to everything and he would ruin it all.

“You’re right, forgive me for...” Emily began, slightly embarrassed that she wanted more. But not at all ashamed that she wanted it from him rather than Lord Sparta himself.

“Nothing to forgive.” Rolf cut her off and Emily just smiled wider at him.

Over dinner Emily naturally sat at the other end of the table away from her hosts to let the other girls and their families try their hand and wooing them. She was beyond disinterested and she ate quite a bit, as if it was her last meal there and the food was beyond delicious and so she gorged herself as if at any moment, Lord Sparta would dismiss her and Freddy- to bid them to go home as Fits and Rolf waited on them, sneaking the best and most delicious wine to them. But to Emily’s surprise, his Lordship didn’t bid her goodbye. However when she came back to her room for the evening, she found the #5 letter pinned to her door and Emily grinned when she realized the game was still being played as she took it and put it with the others and grinned wider when it started to make even more sense. Like a giant puzzle.

“Emily? Would you mind if I spent the night with another?” Freddy asked as he came to stand beside her.

“As long as it’s Fits, I don’t mind one bit.” Emily returned proudly.

“Then don’t mind.” Freddy grinned triumphantly as he kissed her cheek sweetly and got his things and left again. Soon after the doors locked again and Emily simply shrugged and sighed contentedly as she got ready for bed, adding another blanket to the bed so she would stay warm and she slept so soundly she didn’t wake to hear the screams of the other guests through the night knowing that it was a hoax and that there was nothing to really fear at all.

In the morning, she found she had actual attendants to help her with her hair and dressing along with a new necklace. Emily frowned as she allowed them to put the necklace on her. But at breakfast she saw one family leaving already, the girl crying that she wanted to stay and strolled right up to the young Lord Sparta, the one she was supposed to be wooing but had no interest in doing so.

“Lord Sparta.” Emily began as she curtsied.

“Yes good morning Lady Bellim.” He smiled charmingly at her.

“Is Lady Willowbe being sent home by your Lordship or is she going home of Lord Willowbe’s will?” She asked.

“Both, Lady Bellim.” He answered.

“Why? Did not your Lordship take delight in her? She seemed quite happy to compete for your attention. Why not send me home instead to allow her to stay?” Emily inquired.

“Because you are still playing the game. She sought to cheat.” He answered.

“Lord Sparta, I have already cheated, I’ve stolen some of the other guests’ letters.” Emily confessed.

“No, that does not break the rules at all,” he argued as Emily simply frowned in confusion at him.  

“Could you please tell me all the rules then? I would not like to break them by accident and forfeit my place in the game then.” Emily returned.

“No, where would the fun be in that?” He grinned before he walked off leaving Emily to think over his words. Maybe he was smarter than she gave him credit for and maybe he was playing dumb on purpose the day before.  

After breakfast they went to the drawing room as the girls showed off their accomplishments with the piano forte’s and songs and poetry and Emily begrudgingly participated only because Lord Sparta invited her to do so that flirted with demanded in tone as she was almost predisposed to tell him to ‘piss off’ before she indulged him and the other guests in doing as requested before she played another game with him and was surprised when he was a much better player this time but Emily still felt as if everything was wrong about him. After games, they went to the garden to try to get through the maze and Emily grabbed a hold of Rolf again.

“I do not wish to go through this maze with Lord Sparta, I’d much prefer to go through it with you.” Emily told him and smiled when he smiled in turn.

“Of course My Lady.” Rolf offered his elbow to her to escort her through it and smiled again when she hugged his arm and seemed to have a system to go through the maze reaching out and keeping her right hand continuously on the wall to her right. Another piece of advice given to her by her grandmother.

“I must confess something Rolf.” She began as they found a lonely corner of the maze, away from the gazes and ears of the others.

“Surely you have done nothing to be confessed to.” Rolf began.

“On the contrary I continuously do things wrong that must be confessed to. I am not playing the game fairly. I stole some of the other’s guests letters.” Emily confessed again.

“I believe that’s one of the ways to play the game Emily.” Rolf answered, albeit a little apologetically since he could clearly see she wasn’t enjoying herself around his replacement.

“Then if you have such knowledge, won’t you share it with me Dear Rolf?” Emily asked, giving him a hopeful yet pleading look and Rolf would have given every coin he had to continue to hear her talk to him so endearingly and affectionately for the rest of his life.

“I only know some of the rules but I will tell them to you.” Rolf answered before he told her all that he knew that his own father had told him.

“Would Fits know more?” Emily asked as they neared the center of the maze.

“No, Fits and I were told all of that together.” He told her and thought her pout of disappointment was absolutely adorable. “But his Lordship’s finery does look quite fetching on you.” Rolf praised as he appreciated how good Emily looked in his late mother’s necklace and had to laugh when Emily rolled her eyes.

“He is wasting it on me. While I do not wish to offend his Lordship by not wearing it. It does not endear him to me. If anything it poses to push me farther away from him because every other Lord tries to woo me with jewels. I suppose it was his late mother’s necklace, judging by how fine it is. I dare not take it with me when he sends me home.” Emily insisted.

“How can you be so certain that you will be sent home?” Rolf asked.

“Because I have no interest in his Lordship. I do not flatter him, I do not fawn over him. If he is the only prize in this game perhaps I should forfeit now. I simply do not care for him. Yesterday he was overly stupid, today he is trying too hard to be overly clever. He is all wrong. It is as if he’s a first time actor trying to play the role of his Lordship and he keeps getting his lines wrong. Besides, I’d much rather spend more time with you, I feel you’d play better games and provide better banter for me anyway.” Emily praised as she hugged his arm tighter before he stopped and couldn’t help but kiss her again, happy that she pulled him flush with herself first and leaned her head up to kiss him, having realized he wanted to kiss her and realizing she wanted to be kissed for once, if only by him though.

“Do not play the game for him then, play it for me, if you win, you can have me as the prize instead.” Rolf whispered when they broke for air.

“You drive a very hard bargain Dearest. Very well, only for you then.” Emily begrudgingly agreed before she kissed him again, feeling quite addicted to his kisses already.

The next day, they did some riding and shooting, Emily not holding back and hitting more birds than young Lord Sparta did. Rolf unbelievably pleased that Emily was the only one genuinely trying while the rest of the ladies refused to try more than once, Emily saving the dogs more than once because of how bad those ladies were at shooting. Emily was also the only woman to wear browns, tweeds and trousers so she could ride astride the horses and not spook the game while all the other ladies wore bright colors and pretty dresses and had to ride side saddle and could move no faster than a walk on the horses while Freddy, Fits, Rolf and Emily got to run and canter all over the country side as much as their hearts desired. Rolf put Emily on his own favorite horse which was one of the faster ones in the stables and watched as she rode it just as well as he usually did and in dead runs, she won out, leaping and jumping over logs and boulders with ease, not caring in the least if she got dirty because she was genuinely having fun and it was a sight for Rolf to see while his ears eagerly took in the sounds of her delighted laughter and conversation.

Over the course of the week, Emily tried to play more fairly and more nicely with her competitors and his Lordship and every other morning, another girl was sent home but that evening Emily got a new letter pinned to her door until the end of the week. She felt she had all but one of the Fibonacci sequence pages and understood most of it until it was herself and one other lady were all that remained, the other lady being Viscountess Eliza from England and Eliza stared cloaked daggers at Emily every time she looked at her. Emily however was undisturbed by this and Rolf simply watched with pride as Emily seemingly took it all in stride and let Eliza’s actions and sugar coated venom-ed words roll off of her like water from a duck’s back. While Emily did her best to befriend her host, Lord Sparta, she could not harbor feelings for him besides the polite platonic kind since her budding romance with Rolf bloomed more and more each day, he even came up with mini games just for the two of them to play which she was keen to play and win if only because she was playing with Rolf over everyone else. Usually he would have been scared she saw straight through the ruse but at the same time, he didn’t care. He really liked her and was starting to really love her and adored her and missed her when they parted for the night and it was getting harder and harder to play the role of a servant but his own servant who was playing his role took it with stride as the two tried to help each other with their reversed roles.

At the end of the week, Emily found herself walking through the greenhouse with Rolf, who seemed to be her constant companion when Freddy was no where to be found, the few times he did show up, was simply to tell her that he was fine and that he was currently getting lost in Fits which she congratulated him for and was happy that he was finding love and happiness, even as unintended as it was.

“Do you know if his Lordship will make his decision soon?” Emily asked as she wanted to smell every fragrant bloom in the greenhouse and was currently nose deep in the most fragrant roses.

“Why do you ask?” Rolf asked, not wanting his time with her to end, ever.

“Well Freddy is quite in love with Fits and I don’t want to separate them by loosing to the game too early and I do enjoy your company and I would be loathed to part from you and I’m prepared to make an offer for you from his Lordship but I do not know if he will part with you and Fits but this is proving tortuous for Eliza and I don’t wish for needless suffering.” Emily reasoned and Rolf was burning up inside, wanting to tell her everything but couldn’t.

“Are you missing home at all?” Rolf asked, trying to change the subject again.

“Yes and no. I miss my servants who are proving to be the few loyal friends I have anymore.” Emily admitted as she pet the petals of a lily before smelling it and smiling softly at the scent. “Truth is I have very few friends indeed. All ladies my age are my competitors, all men period are usually my suitors and they look at me and see a pretty face behind a large purse, a trophy to put in a glass case or a gilded cage, or better yet some kind of wild animal they hope to tame to stroke their own egos or the living embodiment of His Holiness that they can attain. Or worse yet, money grabbers who think I have a grand fortune and will receive even greater once my grandmother passes. But it’s all a lie. I live a very modest life, barely getting by some years. The estate took most of my inheritance and the wages of the servants and doctors and caretakers of my grandmother take the rest of it. All the finery I wear is actually “gifts” from all the other nobles and lords- payment for coyly flirting with them for a week at a time, feeding them crumbs of false hope that they are “wearing me down” to accept them. I hate it. It makes me feel like a harlot, selling my attention like that. Never myself mind you but still, far too close for my liking. I refuse to sell my pride or my self respect though. Perhaps it’s that- that everyone else is after and while I spend my birthday week at the Vatican with his Holiness, he barely remembers me anymore. That cross I wore is the only thing he’s ever bestowed upon me and I do not have the heart to ask him for anything. I’m not noble by blood, my blood is no more noble than yours is, I was just blessed at birth and my father got promoted to his station when the previous holder of it died. My mother was a camp follower for Christ’s sake and while everyone treats me like I’m royalty I know they only do so until I choose someone, then once the truth about me is found out, they’ll treat me like the trash I think they all secretly think I am. The only power I have is my ability to see things for the way they are and say no.” Emily confessed as she smelled the fragrant jasmine before sitting down to tea with Rolf that was just brought to them.

“Then don’t play to such horrible people Dearest.” Rolf said simply.

“I would love nothing more than to take your advice and simply quit it all but I have the livelihoods of many who depend on me. My grandmother is nearly senile and caring for her is very costly, that’s why I gamble, all my winnings go to actually taking care of myself and feeding and clothing myself because my living can not sustain myself to the degree everyone expects of me and my estate and my grandmother. Freddy’s father is about to be considered senile himself and is at risk of being enemies with the state every time he goes into a tirade rant. I don’t know how much longer either of us can hold out.” Emily worried, showing her rare vulnerable side, but only because she felt she knew she could trust Rolf with such things, he had never taken advantage of her and always waited until she initiated contact first.

“It sounds like you’re tired My Dear.” Rolf surmised.

“I am.” Emily huffed a laugh as she sipped her tea. “The tea is delicious today, what kind is this again?” Emily asked.

“You see that bright red flower on that bush right there?” Rolf asked as he pointed to the blooms in question as Emily nodded yes in confirmation. “That is a hibiscus, this is tea made from the flowers.” Rolf answered.

“Such a beautiful flower makes equally beautiful tea.” Emily grinned happily as she continued to drink it and savor it.

“I’ve noticed you have a healthy appetite. Most ladies pick at their foods like delicate birds, I know the cooks work hard on the food and it seems like you’re the only one who enjoys it and it makes me happy to see you enjoy the meals.” Rolf praised as he watched her try all the cakes, having asked the cooks to really outdo themselves to make something that she would deem as her favorite so he could lavish it on her.

“They do work very hard and I do thoroughly enjoy everything and it feels like a waste if I do not at least try all of it. I don’t care if I appear gluttonous with the others, back at home I usually eat whatever the servants cook for themselves because it’s more cost effective if I do. A lot of expense can be spent on just a meal for myself, my grandmother already needs such a special diet, I would prefer for her to eat well rather than myself. You’d be surprised how long I can subsist on soups and stews with breads alone.” Emily confessed before she continued to devour the special lemon and berry cakes, quite liking those. “Although I must say, this is exquisite, I could eat a case of these.” Emily noted as Rolf beamed happily at her as he made a mental note of that.  

“Maybe your fortune will change and you’ll be able to eat like you do here all the time, wherever you go, especially at home.” Rolf offered.

“Don’t curse me like that.” Emily returned with a frown.

“Curse? What curse? How is that a curse?” Rolf asked in astonishment.

“Because the only way that will happen is if I marry a Lord, one of the overstuffed buffoons who try to tempt me with such things. I would rather come here and serve as a maid and eat whatever the servants here eat if it means I can eat with you every day. I am not above such things. It would be honest work and I’d be happy making honest money for honest work. Granted in order to do that, my grandmother would probably have to die first and I’d have to sell the estate and that would probably pull my heart and soul from my body to do but if that’s how I have to survive then so be it. I can only hope the next mistress treats my friends well.” Emily explained.

“I will give you every coin I have to make sure that never happens.” Rolf offered.

“Oh hush, don’t speak of such nonsense. I would never ask that of you. You’ve earned your wages and you should use them to take care of yourself and your own loved ones, surely you have family outside of this estate who needs those funds more than I. I can get by, I obviously do. I know how hard life can be for servants no matter their master. Use it for those in a worse state than I. I just wanted you to know the truth of the matter. Every other man has their own fantasy of my fortune and I don’t have the heart to tell them it’s already gone. You have been honest with me, I need to be honest with you in return. You deserve more than the false hope I feel I have to shell out to everyone else. You deserve the truth. You deserve better than I could ever hope to give you.” Emily insisted and Rolf both wanted to break down and cry or throw up from guilt but at the same breath, confess to his own truth. Feeling she deserved it in turn and could barely stomach this charade any longer. He waited until she was done chewing and swallowed before he kissed her tenderly. Feeling bad for kissing her instead of telling her the truth. But kissing her was the best and easiest thing he could do for now.  

“And you deserve better than I could ever give you. If you truly wish to stay with me here, I’ll make the arrangements, if you want me to go home with you, I will, without a second thought or hesitation, the Count and his Lordship be damned. Just give me a little bit more time my dearest Emily.” Rolf breathed as he stroked her gorgeous face before she turned her head slightly to kiss his palm as her hands came to rest over his own. Usually she would have been on the other side of the greenhouse to keep space between herself and everyone else but she wanted to be close to him and she craved his touch and his closeness as much as her body craved breath and every moment they could steal away and enjoy their privacy like this, she cherished. Her own grandmother be damned for marrying ‘beneath’ her. She loved Rolf and since she had the power to choose for herself, she was going to choose him, no matter the cost.

“Alight.” Emily nodded in agreement.

The next morning however at breakfast there were still only two girls left, Emily and Eliza and his lordship did not come to breakfast instead another attendant came and made an announcement.

“Miss Eliza, you are the winner of the grand game, please turn in your letter to receive your prize.” He announced and Eliza lit up with excitement and quickly handed over her letter that she had not let Emily look at- at all and had horded and guarded this whole time as Emily blew out a breath of relief before she offered her congratulations to Eliza for a game well played and won.

“Miss Emilia, your prize for being the runner up.” The attendant said as he handed Emily the last letter.

“Thank you.” Emily beamed as she took it and added it to the others.

“Where are all the rest of them? I had page 144.” Eliza frowned.

“Have you ever heard of Fibonacci, Miss Eliza?” Rolf asked as he came strutting into the room, wearing his proper clothes with his attendant, who had been parading as Lord Sparta following behind him dressed in his proper steward in training clothes.

“Fiba- who?” Eliza asked in confusion as Emily did a double take and just gasped in shock and stared in stunned silence at Rolf, her mouth hanging open almost comically as her eyes were wide before she remembered to cover her mouth with her hand. Rolf looked so handsome dressed up before she realized all the signs that he had been Lord Sparta all along. No servant should have been so candid and conversational with her but she had been so desperate for his kindred companionship she hadn’t cared to notice the impropriety of it before she just couldn’t help but smile to herself before smiling adoringly at to him- her eyes welling with tears as she wanted to cry from her overwhelming emotions. She should have known all along, normally she would have been furious being tricked like this but she didn’t care. Her prize of Rolf- had not changed and she was happy to have him in whatever form he would take. Then she took her necklace off, the very piece that was the late Countess Sparta’s necklace and threw it at him jokingly to make sure he wasn’t a ghost himself which got both of them to laugh as he easily caught it.

“Fibonacci, is a famed mathematician, he had a formula for numbers, start with zero, zero plus one, is one again, one plus one is two, one plus two is three, two plus three is five and so on and so forth, adding the previous two numbers to get to the next.” Emily answered Eliza’s question as Emily showed Eliza all the letters and pointed to the numbers in the upper right hand corner as Eliza realized she was the victim of a cruel trick herself and stared hatefully at the very man she had been trying to ensnare all week.

“So are you my prize then? A servant?” Eliza sneered at the manservant.

“Of course not my Lady, your prize is this.” He answered as he placed a simple but small bar of gold in front of her. “Is this not what you have been digging and vying for all this time?” He taunted before she huffed and took the bar of gold and got up and stormed off to her rooms with it as she quickly got ready to leave before Rolf put his mother’s necklace back on Emily.

“Thank you for not actually throwing a spear Dearest.” Rolf gently teased as he touched her shoulders affectionately and kissed the back of her head.

“Next time.” Emily teased back as she looked up at him, looking at his handsome face upside down, the two laughed again before Emily turned her attention back to the steward in training.

“So what is your real name Sir?” Emily asked the manservant with a grin.

“Byron.” He said as he held his hand out to shake hers.

“Pleasure to meet you Sir Byron.” Emily greeted him. “And if I can just say, you make a terrible lord.” Emily teased which earned a laugh from everyone, especially Bryon and Rolf and his father- William as Rolf sat down next to her as William sat at the head of the table as Freddy and Fits finally reappeared, having done nothing but lay together and draw closer all week in Fits’ real room. Fits sat to the left his father and Freddy sat on the other side of Fits and sat in Eliza’s seat across from Emily as Freddy beamed proudly at Emily for being the real winner of the grand game.  

“This my dear Emily, is your prize.” Rolf said as he put a ring box on the table in front of Emily before Emily put her stack of letters down on the table between them to open it and found an engagement ring, a smaller miniature version of the pink panther diamond they had found and returned earlier that week before Emily offered her left hand so Rolf could put the ring onto her hand.

“And I am honored to receive such a prize.” Emily returned as she just smiled adoringly at Rolf before turning her attention to his father William. “And I must applaud you Count Sparta for putting together such a fantastic game, I see from the rules that you yourself are very well read, pulling from the great minds of the masters of the Renaissance especially.” Emily praised Lord Sparta who beamed happily at her.

“And I must applaud you for seeing so easily through the guises.” He returned. “You will bring much to this family, if you choose to stay.” He returned to her.

“I believe I will.” Emily grinned as she squeezed Rolf’s hand from under the table. “But I must also tell you that my estate is a mere fraction of what most think it to be. All the wealth I had has been put towards the upkeep of the manor and care of my own servants who I count as friends.” Emily revealed.

“And it is because you invested your funds as such that made you such an invaluable treasure, when my son told me as such I knew you had won the game and so I put an end to it today, not wanting you to suffer any more than you already have, especially at that horrid girl’s lack of manners. You are by far the most superior lady I have ever come in contact with besides my own dear Contessina and I know you will look after this estate with the same care you do your own manor. That is why I gave your grandmother the key to the letters and the key to the caves, because if you were brave enough to traverse them, you will no doubt bravely walk next my son through life.” Lord Sparta smiled appreciatively at her. “When Rolf said he wanted to marry, I devised this plan so that not only would a wise and brilliant woman figure it out, but a brave and courageous yet kind heart-ed woman would win my son. I understand you are quite the problem solver and the beholder of many fantastic ideas, I’d love to hear them if you will be so kind as to share them with us.” Lord Sparta invited as she blushed and smiled bashfully at such praise, but knowing it was sincere- meant the world to her.

“If you will send for Fredrick’s father, who is not just a brilliant scientist but inventor as well, I believe together we can find a solution to the gas problem, I think if you could manage to collect it and harness it safely and keep it from self igniting. It would prove very useful.” Emily began.

“Then please do tell.” Lord Sparta invited before Emily took a deep breath and began to tell him all sorts of ideas as she felt the same ease and free-ness she would feel at home.

That night after rounds of games and cards with the real lords and being thrilled to finally play them well with her fiance and his father, brother and Freddy and in return, be played well with. Rolf led Emily to his real quarters since one of the rules of the game were that no lady would lie with anyone for the duration of the game and now that the game was over, they were both more than eager to be together before her things were put into the room as well to stay with him until the wedding that would be planned the next day.

“At last, we can be completely alone.” Rolf breathed in relief once they were both undressed and redressed in their night clothes but Emily had quickly and easily stripped out of her night gown the moment they were under the covers as Rolf did the same.

“Yes, at last.” Emily giggled as Rolf had Emily roll on top of him and ride him just like he had imagined all week, wanting Emily to continue to have all the control she wanted, both of them moaning at finally being joined as they kissed each other very deeply and Emily felt no ill feelings at being touched and caressed, instead of feeling dread, she felt at ease and happiness in addition to be wanted but more importantly treasured and respected most of all as she put his hands to her body without a hint of embarrassment or shyness. “Please my Dearest Emily, tell me and instruct me how to please you best.” Rolf pleaded desperately, wanting and needing to give her every pleasure and Emily could have cried she was so moved by such a sentiment that she told him exactly how and was blown away when he was able to pull from her body and soul the sweetest of pleasured releases as she did the same to him.

“You will be the best Lady Sparta.” Rolf praised as he laid next to Emily and wiped the sweat from his brow as they both panted as they recovered, their bodies still alight with delight.

“Only if you’ll be the best Lord Sparta, forever at my side.” Emily returned as she found herself in his embrace once again.

“Always.” Rolf smiled before he kissed her again.

“And quit kissing me instead of telling me things. I realized you kissed me instead of telling me the truth all week, you must stop that this instant, please tell me everything from now on.” Emily insisted.

“I was under oath from my father! I had very little choice in the matter, I swear.” Rolf insisted as Emily gave him a playfully unimpressed look.

“I swear on my mother’s grave I told you all I could without ruining the game. If I did, the game would be over and forefit and I could never hope to see you or speak to you again, those were the rules placed upon me.” Rolf swore as Emily gave him a softened hard look but detected he was telling her the truth.

“Very well, but I have a favor to ask of you Dearest.” Emily began.

“Anything.” Rolf returned.

“My grandmother’s doctors have advised me that my grandmother can not be moved from the house. Would you mind terribly moving to my estate until she passes? It can not be long now.” Emily requested.

“I wouldn’t mind at all, we could leave as soon as you wish.” Rolf immediately answered.

“Thank you My Love.” Emily cooed as she kissed him again, in the morning, they did indeed plan for their wedding and even agreed on invitations while the servants got everything ready for their departure and the very next day after that Rolf had an entire chest of gold and treasure put onto one of his father’s very grand and very luxurious dormeuse, with his brother and Freddy taking another with yet another chest with them. Freddy already wearing some of Fits clothes while Rolf had already ordered loads of dresses for Emily so that she would always be the most well dressed woman in the room that would rival even royalty and once inside the carriage, Emily giddily closed the curtains so that her and Rolf could continue to enjoy maritals on the journey home.

[starringemiliaclarke]

Press: Emilia Clarke, the Queen of Dragons, Tells All

  How HBO’s insanely popular hit show turned a young British actress into a feminist, a fantasy icon and a royal fan favorite

    ROLLING STONE – On a recent Monday afternoon, the queen was taking her tea. “Could I just be more English than sense itself and get an Earl Grey?” asks Emilia Clarke from the deep folds of a leather chesterfield sofa in the so-called Drawing Room of her downtown Manhattan hotel. The young waiter is only too happy to oblige, though it’s unclear whether he knows he’s in the presence of the Khaleesi, Mother of Dragons and rightful ruler of the Seven Kingdoms.

  That being said, six seasons into HBO’s Game of Thrones – a cultural phenomenon that plays in no fewer than 170 countries, has inspired countless tattoos and baby namings, and has proved to be the network’s most popular show of all time, with a seventh season set to premiere July 16th – it’s more than likely that he does. Clarke smiles and tucks her feet up under her. “I’m crap at getting recognized,” she confides. “People are like, ‘Oh, hey!’ And I’m like” – she starts yelling – “‘God! Oh, hi! I’m sorry!’ ”

  When I first met Clarke, back in 2013, the actress was 26, still relatively unknown when not wearing her signature GoT blond wig, and not likely to compare herself to her warrior-queen character. She’d still seemed slightly in awe of the fact that she’d gotten the job at all, which was only her third acting role ever. “I’m all too painfully aware of how quickly this can disappear,” she’d told me when we’d met in a Broadway dressing room, where she was rehearsing to play Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

  Four years later, Clarke has maintained her hallmarks – wry humor and ample good will, among them – but it’s clear we’re in another realm. Even in a messy bun and frayed blue jeans, she now comes across as a sort of beacon – poised, almost glowing, a point to which all other attention can’t help but be drawn. In other words, she has a way of commanding the room that seems downright Khaleesi-esque. She has, after all, now spent the bulk of her adult life embodying one of our culture’s most striking images of female domination, while eloquently explaining her onscreen nudity in broadly feminist terms. She’s turned 30 (of which she says, “I was just quietly panicking”). She’s graced the big screen multiple times, including opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator Genisys. And, like the rest of us, she’s lived through Brexit and the ascendency of Trump, or, as she puts it, “ ’16. The fucking year where everything shit happened.” So, times have changed – for better and for worse.

  “You can’t expect everyone to just stop doing their jobs and march every day of their lives,” she says of the volatile political climate. “But we’ve got to be in this shit for the long game.” And for Clarke, being “in this shit” means not being OK with a lot of what goes on around her – a realization that grew and amplified “in a [post-Brexit] era where you suddenly go, ‘What do you mean my views are so vastly different from my neighbor?’ ” Like, for example, her views on being one of the few women on any given set. Or the fact that women consistently have fewer lines than their male counterparts, even when they’re playing the “lead.” Or that actresses must arrive for hair and makeup hours before most of the male stars.

“I feel so naive for saying it, but it’s like dealing with racism,” she says. “You’re aware of it, and you’re aware of it, but one day, you go, ‘Oh, my God, it’s everywhere!’ Like you suddenly wake up to it and you go, ‘Wait a fucking second, are you . . . are you treating me different because I’ve got a pair of tits? Is that actually happening?’ It took me a really long time to see that I do get treated differently. But I look around, and that’s my daily life.”

  She recognizes, of course, that this is a complicated stance to take as a woman who has no doubt benefited hugely from her, ahem, pair of tits. She was Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive in 2015 (“My mum bribed them”), and her role on Game of Thrones has been punctuated by momentous scenes in which she happened to be naked. “It doesn’t stop me from being a feminist,” she counters. “Like, guess what? Yes, I’ve got mascara on, and I also have a high IQ, so those two things can be one and the same.” But the complexity of gaining women’s-empowerment cred through such channels explains why she’s also glad about the evolution of her character, a woman who rose literally from the ashes and now seems poised to win the game of thrones. Throughout history, Clarke reminds me, “Women have been great rulers. And then for that to be a character that I’m known to play? That’s so fucking lucky. Anyone who seems to think that it’s not needed need only look at the political environment we’re all living in to be like, ‘Oh, no, it’s needed. It is needed.’ ”

  All of which means that Clarke is now embracing her character’s power in a way that might not have been possible for her when the series first aired, when the dew of Oxfordshire was still fresh upon her. Clarke grew up about an hour outside London in the tweedy British countryside of meat pies and bovine creatures. “You know, I grew up with a stream in the garden and with fields everywhere,” she says. “We used to go mushroom-picking. There were ducks. It was idyllic on every level.” She followed her older brother to St. Edward’s, a private boarding school in Oxford where, as the daughter of a sound designer (who’d started out as a roadie) and a marketing VP (who’d started out at secretarial college), she was somewhat removed from the upper-crust kids of her new milieu. “It was a fancy school,” she says. “And we weren’t that fancy.” She was also an artsy kid at a school that wasn’t that artsy. “People were good at hockey and wanted to be lawyers. I just wanted to be everyone’s friend,” she says. “It was painful – I was on the outskirts, peeping in, going, ‘You guys look fun. Can I come join?’ ”

  After graduation, she applied to RADA, LAMDA and Guildhall, a trifecta of hallowed institutions for British would-be actors, and got rejected from every one. She waitressed, saved up some money, went backpacking around Southeast Asia and India, and then reapplied to “a bajillion schools,” only getting into the Drama Centre London “by the skin of my teeth when I got a phone call saying, ‘This girl broke her leg. The place is free if you want it.’ ”

  Drama school was another venue where she learned her place. She was never the favorite. She was never the ingénue. She played old ladies and bedraggled prostitutes. “They broke us down,” she tells me. “But if you’re a favorite at school, you’re fucked for life. I mean, you come out and you’re like, ‘Hey, where’s my golden egg?’ Whereas when you haven’t had that at all, you’re just like, ‘I will do anything. I will work harder than you could imagine.’ ” She gave herself a year to break into the industry. Right around that deadline, cash-strapped, despairing and casting about for alternative life plans, Clarke – just scraping five feet two, curvy and brunette – got a call from her agents about auditioning for the role of tall, willowy, blond Daenerys Targaryen. She turned to Google for a crash course on George R.R. Martin’s novels and then went in to meet the HBO execs. At some point in the audition, she found herself doing the funky chicken.

  “You wake up and go, ‘Wait a fucking second, are you treating me different because I’ve got a pair of tits'”

  She also managed to broadcast the range HBO was seeking: Clarke had the vulnerability of someone who wasn’t the favorite but also the strength of a young woman who’d grown up with a working mother who had herself risen out of secretarial school to forge a high-powered career. “I was so lucky that I was brought up with a mum who just showed by example,” Clarke says. “It was never spelt out that I would have a harder time in life. My family put a fair amount of onus on wanting to expand your thinking as opposed to shrinking your bottom.”

  This goes a long way toward explaining the more personal reason why 2016 was a shitty year for Clarke. On July 10th, her father – whose behind-the-scenes work got her interested in acting in the first place – passed away from cancer. Clarke was filming a movie in Kentucky and unable to be home for all of his final days. When things got dire, she wrapped the movie early but arrived at the airport in London to learn that she’d just missed him. “I definitely think I’m still in varying degrees of shock,” she says. “There’s no measure for it. There are all of these books about grief, but there’s no guide. Like, ‘Oh, on Tuesday, you’ll feel this, but on Thursday, you’ll be here.’ ”

  Three weeks after her father’s death, Clarke began filming the seventh season of Game of Thrones. A few weeks before it, Brexit had happened. “The world felt like a scarier place once my dad wasn’t in it,” she says. “And then those two things happening in quick succession threw me off balance and made me re-evaluate who I am. And it was in that re-evaluation that I was like, ‘I’m a fucking woman, and there aren’t very many of us performing in the environment that I’m performing in. I need to be incredibly sure of the ground on which I’m standing, and I need to take ownership of the choices I’m making.’ ”

  That included the way she comported herself on set. Clarke’s general approach to the world is self-deprecating levity. “When one spends your days discussing the politics of King’s Landing, it’s very important not to forget to do your penguin dance between takes,” co-star Peter Dinklage says of her capacity for goofing around, while she describes what goes through her mind when acting opposite a mechanical dragon thusly: “I’m like, ‘Is he clenching? Is he farting? What do you want me to do?’ ”

  But over the course of the show, Clarke’s own vulnerability has shrunk as Khaleesi’s power has expanded. “You don’t get to be a mother of dragons without a change or two,” she says. “Being able to encompass and understand the kind of woman who could conquer armies and topple societies allows me, the actor, to stand firmly in those shoes.” Which came in handy on set when something would remind her of her father and literally “take my breath away,” she says. “You underestimate the enormity of it. I didn’t know feeling this way was possible.” In those moments, she’d gather her strength and try to channel that emotion into her work. “I was like, ‘I’m not gonna let you see me cry. That ain’t happening.’ ” Instead, she’d steal away for a moment and then come back to being Khaleesi.

  For Clarke, Khaleesi’s story is about to come to a close. Sometime next year, the final episode of Game of Thrones will air and the role that she’s been playing for almost a decade, the role that “saved my ass in so many ways – propelled my ass, really,” will be over. “There’s going to be a shake-up of my identity, I think,” she says of that inevitability. “And I feel like I’m only going to understand what the last seven years has been when we stop.”

  She promises the upcoming episodes of the epic will not disappoint. “Spoiler alert – I normally don’t spend very much time in Belfast, but this last season I spent a little more time there,” she says, throwing a hint to the GoT obsessives. “It’s a really interesting season in terms of some loose ends that have been tied, some really satisfying plot points, some things where you’re like, ‘Oh, my God. I forgot about that!’ Rumors are going to be confirmed or denied.” But Khaleesi’s plotline will continue through to the end. “I mean, I have no doubt there’ll be prequels and sequels and who knows what else. But I am doing one more season. And then that’ll be it.”

  After that eighth and final season, Clarke will have a freedom that she hasn’t had since she was cast at age 23. The roughly seven months of each year she’s spent waking up at 3 a.m. to get into hair and makeup, the 18-hour days in which she’s pretended to ride a dragon or lead an army or walk naked through fire, will suddenly be hers again. The thought is both daunting and titillating. “It makes me emotional to think about,” she says. “It’s my beginning, middle and end – the single thing that has changed me most as an adult.”

  Not that freedom is here yet. When she returns to London in a few days, it will be for the Han Solo Star Wars prequel, in which she presumably plays yet another bad-ass woman. “All I can say is that she’s awesome,” Clarke tells me. “Like, legit, that’s all I can actually get away with saying. There’s a stormtrooper with a gun, and he’s going to come walking in any second.”

  After Star Wars, Clarke’s ultimate goal is to create the kind of shop that rights the wrongs she’s witnessed: “I would love to start a production company that was just full of nice, funny women,” and where the vibe was one of “‘Yeah, I’ve got a pair of tits, and aren’t they lovely? Aren’t they great? You do too! They’re great, you’re in the club!’ ” In the meantime, she says, she’s been working on expanding her mind rather than shrinking her bottom.

  “I’ve suddenly got a ferocious need to learn things,” she adds. “Like, I listen to podcasts manically – The New York Times and The Guardian and The Economist and TED Talks and Fresh Air. I need information. I’m like, ‘I just want to know as much as humanly possible.’ ” Which means that for all Khaleesi has given Clarke, Clarke’s in the process of reciprocating. “Khaleesi got a little something extra this year, you know what I mean? She got a little something else going on.”

Press: Emilia Clarke, the Queen of Dragons, Tells All was originally published on Enchanting Emilia Clarke