#but totally feel free to turn this into an actual thread if you'd wanna!

[honorisen]

❛ what are you smiling at? ❜ Tseng

◈ ᴀᴄᴛɪᴠᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴄᴏᴍʙᴀᴛ ᴍᴏᴅᴇ — ▮ 200 random starters!

@radixnt-gxrden​

“ Nothing...! ” Zack would brush the call out off with a quick wave of his hand before he’d go right back to grinning again. He’d been smiling at Tseng, but only because being partnered with the Turk was also so stifling otherwise! Like their code of conduct demanded they carry out their missions with the least amount of fun and good spirits as possible.

And Zack couldn’t hardly take the doom and gloom anymore! So a moment later would find a playful punch plopped against Tseng’s shoulder!

“ But c’mon, Tseng! Don’t tell me it’s against the Turk code now for guys like you to at least act like they’re enjoying a trip? I mean, we’re outside Midgar for awhile! Can’t you at least make the most of it? ”

[youmightbethekiller]

The Twitter Thread that Started It All

Transcribed for easy reading

Sam: Yo can you help me out?

Chuck: Hey, what do you need?

Sam: I don't know if I told you but I recently became a camp councilor.

Chuck: That's cool.

Sam: It was going super well but there's some kind of crazed serial killer roaming the grounds right now.

Chuck: Oh shit, that sometimes happens.

Sam: You got any advice? They're all dead. Like, almost everyone.

Chuck: Okay, first I hate to ask this but are you sure YOU are not the killer?

Sam: I can't be 100% sure...

Chuck: See, yeah. I wondered. Are you covered in blood?

Sam: No. Wait, yes...

Chuck: Is it your blood?

Sam: How can you tell?

Chuck: Well, are you bleeding?

Sam: I don't think so.

Chuck: Okay, okay, let's see. What else? Oh I know, are you holding a weapon? Probably a sharp one?

Sam: Hang on, let me check. Is a machete a weapon?

Chuck: In this context, yes. But! It could be because you are protecting yourself so, last question. Are you wearing some kind of...creepy mask?

Sam: Like subjective creepy or objective?

Chuck: Generally, the creepiness will be broadly creepy like to a mass audience, so, let's go with objectively.

Sam: Okay, so what kind of professions might be considered creepy?

Chuck: Like, I dunno; a clown or a human scarecrow or a plague doctor from a long time ago...wait, you are wearing a mask aren't you?

Sam: Yeah but I don't know if it's creepy.

Chuck: Okay, let's take creepy out of the equation. What kind of mask are you wearing?

Sam: A wooden mask whose empty eyes drink in the light and whose jagged grin suggests it was carved, forced upon it when it didn't laugh.

Chuck: Oh see, yeah, yep, that's creepy. That's not even a job or anything, that's just...I mean, you found an evil mask and put it on.

Sam: All right, I can appreciate that but I came for advice not judgement.

Chuck: Okay, fair enough. Hey, so, I Googled all this stuff and it looks a whole lot like you are the killer, so that's a plus for you.

Sam: All right, cool cool. So what does one typically do in these situations?

Chuck: Well, good news is, you can probably feel free to just kill more people, but uhhh, there is bad news too.

Sam: Oh boy. Let's here it.

Chuck: So, generally speaking like, moooost of the time you're gonna get got. Probably by the last person you choose to kill.

Sam: Oh fuck, you might be right. There's like three or four of those guys running around.

Chuck: Right, yeah, so if you kill all of them, the last one you go to kill will totally turn the tables on you...but there is more good news.

Sam: Oh, sweet! I was hoping for an upside.

Chuck: Upside: You won't just die. You'll get to keep coming back with new chances to kill, kill, kill, but you know, more bad news too.

Sam: Jeez, this is a real emotional roller-coaster. What's the bad news?

Chuck: You're still probably gonna die. So, one option is, you just quit now. You just like, stop killing and go do some other shit.

Sam: So, okay. I agree that SOUNDS really intelligent but I'm kind of in the middle of the woods so...like...what else is there to do?

Chuck: You could walk away and find a video arcade or maybe a fast food place. If you stay in the woods the kids are probably gonna nail you tho.

Sam: Right, the last one will, you said so, like, just between us?

Chuck: Sure, go. Total cone of silence.

Sam: Like, totally hypothetically not doing it, but you said the LAST one would kill me so like, so long as there's two left, I'm okay, right?

Chuck: I mean, maybe. The math sounds legit. Is the mask demanding you kill them? Like, real talk time.

Sam: Not exactly? So, like, I don't [want to] do what this thing tells me but I am agreeing with a lot of what it says?

Chuck: So maybe you and the mask just share a hobby? That's nice.

Sam: It's pretty good, actually. You know how when you meet someone and they're not friends YET but you can tell you're going to be GOOD friends?

Chuck: Oh yeah, it's just like, total simpatico! Where did you find the mask?

Sam: In the woods on a nature hike some crazy desiccated corpse was holding onto it, ringed by salt and bound with crucifixes.

Chuck: Sure, I would've picked that thing up to, just for shits and giggles.

Sam: Like, I just wanted to do it for the STORY, you know? Just to say I've done it. Anyway, I put it on and a LOT of people started dying.

Chuck: Yep, pretty classic case. So, I figure you can kill maybe two more but if you wanna be safe go with like, one.

Sam: All right yeah, cool, but hypothetically, if I killed, like, three, how bad would that be?

Chuck: Welp. You'd PROBABLY die.

Sam: So here's the crazy thing and, like, get ready because you're going to laugh when you hear this...

Chuck: Go on.

Sam: I killed all three and thought, "Huh, that's weird, Chuck said one of them would kill me." but get this, just listen...

Chuck: Uh oh.

Sam: This one I THOUGHT I killed way back at the beginning came back at the very end all beat up and bruised and looking for vengeance.

Chuck: See, that's a thing, yeah.

Sam: Anyway, this is kind of awkward because I'm trapped under a girder in a boathouse and all this gasoline is seeping in.

Chuck: Oh. Ohhhhhhhh. Hey, so...bad news...

Sam: Oh boy, this isn't great, is it?

Chuck: You are on the way to your inevitable and ineluctable end but! Good news, maybe...

Sam: Oh, sweet sweet. Hey, if I log off it's because this broken, flaming lantern on the edge of the table fell off.

Chuck: Okay, yeah, so, here's the good news. There's always a sequel.

Sam: Sweet, sweet. So hey, thanks for talking to me about it, it really means a lot. I guess I'll see you in...two? Three years?

Chuck: See you when lightning strikes your dread grave, pal.