#but what's happened's happened or whatever it was that edward cullen said in tenet the movie

[spikybanana]

thursday (friday?) snippet

@wanderingdonut tysm for the tag!! <3<3

for the record, I've lost the plot of this fic months ago. but hey! I've indulged in A Trope so here's an (unedited) snippet!

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Patronus. A magical guardian conjured out of an impression of what anchors the most profound parts of ourselves and what constitutes the substance of our very identity. In other words, one’s deepest, happiest memories.

Sirius blushes, because it’s sickeningly obvious what he would need to think of. It takes a few tries, his bare hands not always cooperating with the precise movements designed for tips of a wand, but he eventually gets it. A few puffs of white mist later, he closes his eyes and re-summons the brightest sight of Remus he can think of. The thousand shades between his eyes and his smile, the sound of his laughter, rare and ringing in the depth of the forest. His own lips pull up when he feels a bright, certain warmth gather in his chest, and upon murmuring the incantation with sharp twists of his wrist, the incandescent thing bursts forth, lighting up the small bedroom in twilight.  

Only, he realises too late that he isn’t alone. Remus is by the door, back pressed to the wall and watching. Sirius has been so focused, he didn’t even notice Remus enter the room. 

“How much did you see?” He wants to frown, but the warmth of the four-legged regal creature prevents even that.

Remus doesn’t answer. It’s not like he needs to see much more than the glowing figure of the wolf. And the raw look in his eyes says clear as day that he’s seen more than enough. 

Between some moment and another, they meet each other in the middle, the kiss breathless and bruising and Sirius feels like Remus is trying to take a bite at the meat of his soul, because surely, this feeling is too big, too intense for words. But he leans his head back and bares his neck anyway, and Remus follows the motion immediately, mouth dipping past his jaw, panting against his pulse point. 

There, he pauses, and lets out a choked noise.

“I can be all of you, Sirius.” He whispers.

“Oh?” Sirius forces his tone to be light, feigning aloofness, even though the words make it feel like his heart is dropping through his stomach. Suddenly, he feels indignant, and challenges boldly, in the same whisper, “Am I not the same for you, then?”

Remus freezes, “That’s not the same, Sirius.”

“Why not?”

“I can’t— possibly explain to you—” 

Remus’ arms are still wound tight around Sirius’ waist, his fingers tightening, digging into skin.

Sirius lets out the next breath slowly. He works his jaws, breathing in through his teeth as if it could dilute the scent of Remus in his skull. One day, all that Remus cannot explain is going to crush them. But if Remus wants to break them both into a thousand pieces to be sprayed onto the forest ground, Sirius thinks, then so be it, he would still gladly follow. Perhaps even for good reason.

He squeezes the hand on the back of Remus’ neck, pulls him back until their eyes lock. He tilts his head, and asks, “What’s your patronus, then?” 

Remus’ expression is helpless when he admits. 

“It’s you, of course.”

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open tag!!!