#but would that be selfish instead? being human is so real & unreal n it's just. weird. but so simple too

[tokoyamisstuff]

Meant To Be - Loki x Fem! Reader

Summary: Much to your displeasure, your parents have promised you away to the God of Mischief of all people.

Tags: Arranged Marriage AU, Light Elf! Reader

Warnings: Aside from Loki hating himself, nothing.

Words: 2878

I Masterlist I

A/N: Some good old-fashioned, ‘redeemed after The Avengers and the other movies didn’t happen’ Loki. Like, really cheesy, self-indulgent 2012 stuff. I just want to ignore all misery that happens in the series okay?

“Ew! Stop it!”

You were eight at the time when you and Loki first met, by means of negotiation between both your parents.

If only you knew that this encounter should be the first impression of what should be your husband in the near future...

Frigga and Odin could only plead for their son to be on his best behavior - but well, it’s the God of Mischief we’re talking about. Must be hard to inherit such a title from your very birth.

Just when you put the little bonquet of flowers he had picked up for you towards your face to admire it, several little spiders emerged from the blossoms.

“You’re no fun.” The raven-haired boy stood a safe distance away from you, arms crossed as his gleeful laughter turned into a broad sulk. "And your ears are weird.”

“I hate you!” you screeched in your childish rage, throwing the flowers to the ground and trampling onto them. “Where’s your brother? Thor is way nicer than you!”

“Well, why don’t you marry him then?!” he mocked to cover up his hurt pride, picking up a handful of dirt and throwing it in your direction. 

“I don’t need any friends anyway...” the little boy whispered to himself, running away from the scene with tears filling the corner of his eyes. 

“I don’t need anyone. I’m way better than all of them!”

Not even Frigga was fast enough to catch up with him, while Odin uttered some fake apologies to your parents, promising them that everything will go as planned.

You on the other hand were running towards your mother, tightly grabbing onto her dress. “He’s mean! I wanna go home!”

As Queen of the Light Elves, your mother was a being full of grace and composure - and you were hoping to one day become such a formidable person as well.

She bowed down to your height, petting your hair as you rubbed the mixture of tears and dirt from your cheeks. Just her bright smile alone would sometimes be enough to make you forget about your worries - but not today.

“My sweet child” she cooed, cradling you in her arms. “One day you’ll understand.”

However, this would be the last time you paid Asgard a visit - at least until now. Because no matter how deeply you wished to never meet him again, the words your mother spoke on that day haunted you all those years:

“For this is your duty as a princess.”

[Present Day - Asgard]

It felt so unreal when you stuck your head outside of the wooden carriage, the wind playing with your hair as your glare wandered over the rainbow bridge you were crossing.

Silence strained the air, your parents unable to do even so much as look into your eyes. Hel, how you wished this was only a dream.

Behind you was a whole company of Light Elves, transporting all of your belongings to what should be your homecountry from now on.

Now there was no way back, that much was sure.

You were supposed to meet your soon-to-be husband on that very same day, one day before your wedding to be precize.

One could only guess why you weren’t allowed to visit Asgard again for all those years, even though you were practically born just for this reason - for this person.

To become Loki’s bride was your involuntary purpose, and you couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be truly free.

Maybe your parents thought the God of Mischief to have a bad influence on their growing daughter, pulling you into his harmless yet dishonorable schemes. Or they simply feared you to refuse marrying said man if you got to know him better, finding out just what kind of person you were promised to.

Not that your parents were pleased either...everyone in the Nine Realms knew the stories.

To Odin, there was no point in hiding the disgrace his adoptive son had brought over Asgard. Not only was he responsible for an attack on Midgard, sacrificing thousands of lives for his own sake, drunken by greed for power.

But all of you were shocked to hear that Loki Odinson - or rather Laufeyson - was never Asgardian to begin with.

A Frost Giant.

Among your kind, they were known to be one of the most terrible abominations in the nine realms, and murderer of countless of your kind - and this should be the father to your future children?

Only thinking about this cruel twist of fate made you want to vomit...

So why did you agree to proceed with the preparations as if nothing had happened? How in Alfheim’s name could you reject their offer to wed you to Thor instead of that lunatic?

Was it that through your upbringing and royal duties, you had lost your own free will? Or simply fear of stepping aside the path that everyone had prepared for you?

It was probably the fact that you didn’t want to get into true love’s way...you and Thor stayed in brief contact through Heimdall, and you just knew how much that human girl meant to him.

You were kinda jealous, though...the concept of being in love was foreign to you, having a vague idea of it from novels only. But real life just wasn’t meant to be that was, was it?

You couldn’t escape your fate, that was what it was - for this treaty would unite both kingdoms, bringing peace and wealth for all of their inhabitants.

No way you could be so selfish as to decline...even if it meant you had to suffer for the rest of your life.

“My Ladyship, we have arrived!” a guard spoke as he knocked on the carriage door, with your parents hinting that you needed to step out first.

The very same guard now yelled from the pit of his lungs, making you feel the whole Kingdom of Asgard could hear. “Now arriving: Lady Y/N Y/L/N, eldest Princess of Alfheim and heir to the throne.”

You heared the people whispering as you took your first, insecure steps, blinded by the bright daylight.

“She’s so pale, like ice” or “Why are her ears like that?” were rather nice comments compared to others plainly calling you ugly, scary or a ‘disgrace’.

Of course your Kingdoms had been in a war for several decades, but this was long in the past - before your very birth, even. So what’s the reason you should bear with such hostility in the place everyone expected you to call ‘home’ from now on?

One thing was clear from the very beginning: You would never belong here.

“May I?” a dark, husky voice interrupted your self-pitying. You blinked heavily, still trying to adjust to all those golden surroundings, until your blurry vision finally cleared up.

“C’mon.” The voice belonged to the man in front of you, looking gravely nervous with sweat dripping from his forehead. He was reaching out a hand for you to take, and you gladly accepted since you didn’t want to embarass yourself further by falling out of the carriage.

And still, you managed to somehow miss a step and fall right into his arms. “Oh my, so clumsy” the man snickered as he catched you, clearing his throat as you grabbed onto his chest to regain balance. "Not very graceful for someone of your status.”

“And you are-” The words got stuck in your throat when you stared back into those eyes, their emerald green awaking memories you’d rather forgotten entirely. “L-Loki!”

“Exactly, my dear. The one and only.” Smooth and calm, he  pecked a kiss on the back of your hand, andyou couldn’t help but admire just how well he had aged: His wild locks were combed back, sharp features complimenting his face as he tried his best to give you his most innocent smile.

Yet you kept your guard up, always expecting him to somehow embarass you just for the fun of it. “When it comes to him, always expect the unexpected” Thor once warned you, and you won’t forget about it that easily.

“It’s a pleasure finally meeting you” was your firm declaration, only to be rewarded with a scoff. “You are speaking to the God of Lies, Lady Y/N - there is no use in trying to deceive me” he whispered into your ear, making you shiver in unpleasant anticipation.

“Carry her belongings to my rooms” he dismissed the servants with a simple gesture of his hand, offering his other arm for you to cling on as he escorted you through the palace.

The giant halls were almost empty, nothing like back on Alfheim where you and your brethren would enjoy each other’s company in midst of nature. A sole tear escaped your eye when you thought back to those carefree days, which are now over.

“Are you alright, m’lady?” Much to your surprise, your fiancé sounded honestly concerned about your well-being. “If you are tired, we can postpone our tour of the palace until you’ve rested.”

 “May I speak from the heart?” You gulped after finishing that sentence, scaring yourself with all the stories you’ve heared about this mad troublemaker.

Somehow you had the feeling that if you were to overstep your boundaries with that brute, it would have consequences beyond your imagination. He might seem generous and polite right this moment, but what would someone like him do if you enrage him? Countless images were circling in your head, one worse than the other.

Loki furrowed his brows, exhalinge deeply. For him, your expression was an open book to what you were thinking right now.

“Y/N, my dear Lady, if you want it or not: Starting tomorrow, we share a bond. I am deeply sorry that a veritable flower as you are had to end up with someone like me, but I promise to treat you as well as possible.”

Turning around so you’d not detect how it hurt him to speak from the heart, he added with a shaky voice “Yet there is no reason for you to hold back your hatred for me. No harm will come your way, I swear upon the little honor I have left.”

Even though his words made you feel a deep sympathy with the god, you weren’t quite sure if you could decipher truth or deceit in them. Maybe he just wanted to lure you into saying what you truly thought of him?

He’s right - you will have to spend the rest of your life with him, so don’t mess this up from the very start!

“I-I don’t hate you!” was the first thing you blurted out, grabbing onto his cloak. Loki turned around, rising his eyebrow as he scanned your face for any hint of a lie.

Althrough it was the truth, at least to a certain extend. You’ve seen each other only once, when you were still little. The rest is all tales and rumours, but you personally don’t have a reason to despise him.

There was no way you could promise to accept his past or heritage, let alone forgive him - yet as long as he’d treat you with respect, you’d return the favour.

“T-There’s just a question on my mind this whole time...aren’t you mad? I-I mean someone like- well...like you...” you gestured around awkardly, almost making him crack a smile. “I mean...I thought you wouldn’t let your parents dictate your life.”

Another deep sigh escaping his mouth, this times with his eyes closed. “This isn’t about Asgard or my adoptive parents. I choose my own path.”

Suddenly, Loki wrapped one arm around you, flicking his fingers with the free one.

“Hold onto me” he ordered indifferent as he casted his spell, teleporting both of you away before you could even comprehend, let alone ask him what he was doing.

It happened in the fraction of a second, yet felt like hovering through an empty space for an eternity.

“Now open your eyes.” You hadn’t even realized that you squeezed them shut during the shift, slowly opening them while Loki lifted your chin with his index finger.

The environment was magnificent. Had you ever seen something this beautiful in your whole life?

Obviously you had no clue where you were, but this was the first time seeing so much untouched nature on Asgard. There were flowers blooming in all colours imagineable, clear rivers crossing the lands in between grassy hills, and animals nearby a small forrest.

“It’s not like I didn’t educate myself about the Light Elves and their way of living” Loki stammered, unconsciously intertwining your fingers with yours as he watched you admiring the view. “So I could make you comfortable here, I mean.”

He plummeted down on the grass, still a little wet from the morning dew, and gestured for you to do the same. It was weird, actually, but also somehow adorable - how the infamous ‘Silver Tongue’ had lost his ability with words. “I’ve done very little right in my life full of wrongs. Hurt a lot of people.”

“Mmmhh” you hummed approvingly, not knowing what else to say - yet for some reason, you didn’t let go off of his hand, squeezing it ever so slightly.

“And even though I can’t possibly redeem myself, I wish to change for the better.” he muttered, rubbing the back of his head. “I just never knew how to start.”

Loki Odinson really was full of surprises. He was nothing like the child you’ve met long ago, and the complete opposite of what you imagined the ‘God of Mischief’ to be.

You had expected a power-hungry, selfish and cruel man to wed you - and yet there he was: Insecure and broken, only a shell of the person he once was.

Just what had you missed all those years? What things happened to break someone’s will like this?

And was he truly beyond repair?

“Those past weeks, I have visited Alfheim more times than you could comprehend” he giggled nervously, avoiding your eyes. “Concealed, of course.”

Well, that sounded kind of weird, but you knew better than to talk someone down who was just opening up to you. So your sole answer was “What for?”

“There was no way a criminal like me would still be seemed fit for this ceremony - and yet I was given this chance anyway. My mother told me that it was you who insisted on carrying on the arrangement, so...I just wanted to know what person would be willingly ruin their life.”

Something different was shining through the god’s orbs, and you couldn’t quite decipher it. Was it hope? Hope, that if you had given him a chance, his life could lead into a different direction? To change himself from the burden that was his birth title?

“I-I guess I don’t want to mess this up like I always do” he whimpered barely audible, before staring at you in shock and embarassment. Until now, he hadn’t realized just how vulnerable he made himself.

Just what the hell would you think about him now? You probably had lost any respect, or thought himself to be crazy. How weak...

So he was quick to put on the confident facade again, wearing his smug grin as if that all was just part of a big joke only he’d understand. But even though you barely knew him, he couldn’t fool you.

“Sometimes it’s enough just to try.” Your head turned from the sight of nature to your fiancé and back several times, before you brought up the courage and put a hand on his shoulder, whispering “So you can’t really mess this up.”

“Gladly you don’t seem to know yet just how much misery I cause.” He kept that thought to himself, to not scare you away.

“I am aware that you could never love someone like me, Y/N. But I can provide for you, dedicate myself to making you content with being my wife. My newfound purpose.”

The purpose of a war criminal - that sure put yourself under a lot of pressure. And still, it made you somewhat proud, and grateful as well. Because it was the first time someone valued you as a person, and not the princess of Alfheim.

Unaware of how much time had passed, both of you would get used to each other’s presence in silence, enjoying the nature while you processed this eventful day.

Exhausted from the long travel and all that rollercoaster of emotion, you soon found yourself dazzling into sleep onto Loki’s shoulder. If only you could see him adore you, staring in awe that someone could actually feel so safe in his presence.

Carefully, the god picked you up, gently lifting you on his arms to make your way back to the palace, where everyone was frantically searching for both of you. Well, Loki was used to trouble -  but right now, it was worth it.

May it be right or wrong, and even though you couldn’t explain this sentiment, you had a good feeling when it came to the things that were just about to come.

“You won’t regret your decision, Y/N Y/L/N. On my side, I assure you a bright future.”

[laceymorganwrites]

The Genius idiot

Word Count: 2,138

Pairing: Senku x reader

Warnings: swearing

A/N: So guess who watched Dr Stone and is utterly in love with Senku?

You didn´t like high school. At all. It was shit, the people thought you were weird and they were right, but being weird wasn´t a bad thing like they said it was. The teachers were all total nutjobs in midlife crises who didn´t have their shit together and took it out on you instead of teaching. And for fuck´s sake was the stuff they taught you boring.

The only good thing about the institution were the things you could out of the lessons, you were in the computer programming club for instance, you also were a member of the crafts club.

That´s where you met Yuzuriha, she was kind and sweet, quickly warming up to you.

You liked to think that you were friends, but when you saw her with her real friends Taiju and Senku, you knew you´d never belong anywhere like they did.

They were always hanging around and having fun, doing some science stuff you didn´t get.

It was none of your business anyway.

But still you were sad that you weren´t part of their friend group, they seemed to be so close and you wanted to be too. You never really bothered much with making friends, creating strong bonds with people in a relationship was something you never quite understood.

People were selfish, they only wanted others around them to make themselves feel better, to stop the cold loneliness that was creeping inside their hearts, to stop them from thinking about things they didn´t want to think about, about truths that couldn´t be denied.

Life wasn´t give and take. It was take all you can get and run as fast as you can.

Like there would be no consequences.

Surely enough though, you felt yourself become intrigued by the friend group, letting Yuzuriha introduce you to them.

You didn´t mind it as much as you thought you would, quite the opposite truly.

It was as if you finally found the true meaning of life, the source of genuine happiness and you finally understood why people glorified high school so much.

You never intended for people to get so close to you, never expected to have friends you could tell anything and feel save with.

And you sure as hell didn´t anticipate to fall in love with Senku.

You guessed it was the take of life after giving you friends.

It was like a sick joke, a sort of cruel humor Senku would appreciate if it didn´t involve him.

He was too busy to notice you anyway. Maybe it was better this way, but your mind couldn´t help but wander to him in the most irritating times.

Why did he have to be so cunning, charming, funny and have the same interests as you? And why did he have to be so devilishly handsome? And why did you have to fall for the person who made you feel so incredibly stupid all the time?

The only person who knew was Taiju and that was only because he too told you about his crush on Yuzuriha, even before Senku. He thought you could help him since you knew her.

It was nice having someone to talk about this embarrassing inconvenience without being judged or criticized. But that didn´t help the situation, so you two made a bet.

It was a win-win situation: it was a race who would confess first. And if things went good, the loser had to finance the first date. If it went bad however the loser had to make up a scheme that the confession was a lie and another bet.

You really tried to confess your feelings to Senku, on multiple occasions too. But he never seemed to get it, or rather you thought he did get it but simply wanted to avoid the topic to be able to concentrate more on his science experiments.

If you only knew how different the reality looked…

Senku might give the impression of complete disinterest in all things romantic, but really he was just scared of making a fool of himself, of being vulnerable, getting hurt, so he shut love out of his life.

Until he laid eyes on you that is.

And fuck did you turn his world upside down, he told no one, not even Taiju.

He was too embarrassed, after all those years of swearing never to bother in having a crush or something more, he didn´t want to admit defeat.

And when Senku thought you were giving him hints that his feelings were reciprocated by you, he suppressed every possibility of you getting together. Because that would mean he would have to initiate something, which he couldn´t do for the life of him even if he wanted to.

That was the downside of completely refusing gathering any knowledge on romance, love and honestly, just being a decent human being.

If it wasn´t science, he wasn´t interested in it.

To him, you were the embodiment of science and that was what scared him.

It especially scared him after the stone broke around his body.

He felt helpless and useless, trying to figure out how to get you back all those months.

3,700 years passed, it felt so unreal, like a number too big to count, all those years wasted.

You remembered waking up to a bunch of new faces alongside familiar ones.

The scenery was different. Very different.

“Where´s the school?” you asked, looking around and meeting Senku´s eyes looking at you with wonder, relief and another feeling you couldn´t quite identify. For an instance you thought it was the way you looked at him, but that couldn´t be.

It took a while to get used to the new circumstances, but with the quick explanation of the new faces and situation of the earth, you at least had some starting point.

Kohaku, a warrior from the village that Senku´s father built, which was still weird to you, led you to said village.

It was nice, people were running around happily and working one some science stuff.

For a world that was completely set back to year one, this fast progress wasn´t bad at all.

“You did all of this?” you asked Senku in awe, it was hard for you to hide your feelings around him after not seeing him for so long, even though it felt like yesterday. But then again, it would always feel that way with him.

He stopped in his tracks, somehow embarrassed by your praise and looked sideways.

“I could´ve never made it on my own though...” he admitted, it wasn´t like him, the Senku you knew would boast the shit about his success.

“You´re amazing, Senku! Bringing all those people together like that, building all of this… nobody could do it like you” you smiled at him and he swore his heart stopped for a second.

To avoid giving into you, he showed you around and introduced you to everyone.

They were all so nice and bright, so energetic, it was refreshing to be welcomed with such open, warm arms.

They explained their next big project and you immediately were woven into the daily routine. But you liked it that way, how else would you get used to this drastic change?

Senku was even more distant than before, but that was okay, he had much to do.

Well, it wasn´t really okay to you, but what did you expect from him? To confess feelings that weren´t there to you in such an important situation? It was vital to win the war to have the cellphone. You simply weren´t part of the plan. You never have been.

This revelation made you feel sad and lonely, especially since the whole village never seemed to shut up about Senku.

The priestess in particular sought you out to make you tell her all about him, that´s how you found yourself gushing about him to her and she gushed right back, making you like her and be jealous of her at the same time.

“You like him quite the bit, do you not?” she chuckled and you gulped before nodding.

“But don´t tell him, I don´t want to make things awkward. We have more important things to worry about right now” you sighed.

The priestess looked at you with an amused expression before chuckling mischievously.

“But he likes you too, I can tell, he´s different around you. There are no rules in love, I think that´s what makes him scared and unsure, he keeps talking about the rules, how if you follow them you will always get the right solution. I think he´s scared that there is no solution in approaching you.” she thought out loud.

“Don´t give me false hopes, he doesn´t have time to be in love nor is he interested in it” you groaned, it hurt to say it out loud.

Not wanting to dive deeper into the matter, you went back to the village where the others were.

You noticed Senku sitting away from the fire, closed off to himself, deep in thought.

Despite your better knowledge, you grabbed a blanket , walking up to him, thinking about how you shouldn´t all the way.

But now it was too late and you were awkwardly standing two feet away from him, stretching out the blanket.

“What are you doing?” he stated, eyeing you and the blanket.

His cold attitude made your heart sink, this was a stupid idea after all.

“I thought you might be cold” you quietly said, sinking the blanket and your gaze.

“And why do you care?” he mumbled, you were interrupting him sulking about how he couldn´t seem to approach you right.

“I don´t want you to be cold” you said bluntly, pondering about when the right moment to leave would be.

“But wouldn´t you be cold if you gave me the blanket?” Senku questioned, cocking an eyebrow at you.

“Yeah, but I don´t care, I can just sit nearer to the fire. I´ll be fine as long as I know you are” you answered truthfully, cursing yourself for saying too much.

“That´s illogical” he told you, making you groan.

“I know, Senku. That´s the whole point” you never heard of anyone that love was logical.

“I mean we could always share the blanket” Senku smirked, looking you straight in the eyes like a smug bastard. That wasn´t like him at all, but he regretted his bold words as soon as they left his mouth. This could only backfire.

“You...want to share a blanket...with me?” you repeated the question like an idiot.

“We are both cold, it is the only logical solution” Oh. What else did you expect? Your heart sunk to your knees and you let your shoulders drop.

“I think I´ll go back to the others” you numbly said, throwing the blanket next to him.

Why did you even try? There was a reason he was avoiding you after all.

“(Y/N), wait! I really want to share a blanket with you, but… it´s not because I´m cold” he rambled, blushing a bit at his own awkwardness. Why did he have to be like this? Why couldn´t he be smooth in those things?

You stopped in your tracks, looking at him in disbelief.

“This isn´t funny, Senku” you coldly told him, thinking he was only fucking with you.

“I know. It´s really not. It´s also not logical, at all. Nothing makes sense to me when you´re around but also everything does? If that makes sense...and I can´t concentrate and I don´t know how to feel about that but I know how I feel and… I´m an idiot” he fiddled with his fingers, wanting to take back every word he just said. You would just laugh at him. There was a reason why nobody liked him that way.

“It makes perfect sense, Senku. Because I´m an idiot too and I feel the same” you smiled at him clumsily.

Senku stood up abruptly, his eyes wide and shining with a ray of hope.

“(Y/N). Can I do the only thing that seems logical to me right now?” he said urgently.

You nodded subconsciously and before you could think about what he meant, his lips were on yours.

The suddenness of the kiss took your breath away for a minute, yet you adjusted quickly. It was like a mechanism which only worked when you two were together. You couldn´t help yourself but smile into the kiss as it commenced, you couldn´t believe this was happening. Senku´s hands were shaking as he put them on your waist, pulling you closer to him, making your heart jump.

It could´ve been a magical moment if it wasn´t for your stupid grin because you couldn´t help yourself and Senku´s clumsiness because how the fuck should he know how to kiss?

But none of that mattered, you´d figure it out together.