#but ye! i have many emotions about this. and genuinely you can't fully understand ten without looking at this moment

[atalana]

so i've been doing a doctor who rewatch with my flatmate, which is giving me whole new avenues to think about doctor who meta from

and i wanna talk about this moment

the dalek emperor asks "so prove yourself, doctor. what are you, coward or killer?"

and i think the full context of his response goes a little underappreciated

because especially if you know a lot about doctor who, this line seems fairly obvious. still poignant as hell, but we know the doctor, and we know he's the man who'd always make that choice, it's built into his very mythology

except this is nine

and the choice he's being offered is whether or not to use a weapon that will kill every living thing in its radius - it'll wipe out the daleks, but the range of it also includes the entire earth. you can finally stop the war, but you have to sacrifice a planet you've come to call home, and all of its people, in order to do so. and you'd better act fast, because the daleks are waging war right now, people are already dying - if you don't do something, they're going to wipe out the human race anyway

logically, he should. logically, he has to.

but this is a doctor who is fresh of the heels of making that same choice! he already did it! not too long ago, with his own world in the balance, he proved himself killer, once and for all. what's one more planet, compared to all that? one more planet, to prove it wasn't all worthless? if you let them go now, you killed your own people for nothing

i don't think he knew, until he got his hands on that trigger, what choice he would make. he was certainly planning to be able to do it. and it's not like he stopped being a soldier after the war, when he met that one lone dalek he did everything in his power to kill it, to make the war finally over, to make it worth it. nine doesn't want to be a killer, but he knows that he is. and he's proven it many times this season

until right now. staring down his worst enemy, his worst nightmare, knowing that if he acts with mercy here he'll condemn the universe to destruction, he does it anyway. throws everything aside to give the devil itself the kindness neither of them deserve

this isn't just the moment he declared himself the man who never would. this is the moment he became the man who never would

and time lord regeneration's a funny thing. same man, new man. same memories, new personality, new goals, new ideals. and sure, some aspects of that are random, but there's still a chain of connection. each new incarnation becomes who they are in response to how the last one ended. the 50th enjoyed going into the differences between ten and eleven, how eleven ran away from everything that the doctor was before, played up the childish and the trickster and never fully looked at all the horrors in their past, because ten couldn't help but take responsibility. he considered responsibility the only moral option, but at the end was still so angry that this weight never stopped dragging him down, that he could never make the selfish decision. the world isn't fair and i don't want it to end like this, i see so much of that in eleven

and that defining moment of nine's that birthed ten, that's right here

the man who never would is a line stolen directly from the doctor's daughter. ten is the doctor who holds up genocide as the worst crime someone can commit, no matter the circumstances. ten who will let a dalek go just to avoid causing another. ten who won't touch a weapon of any kind unless absolutely necessary. who doesn't even want to be in the same room as a gun. it all comes down to this moment, with nine against the end of everything, in the final hours of his life

handed an identical choice to the one that changed his life forever and saying never again.

[musical-chick-13]

I only started watching during the pandemic (I actually don't remember which I binged first the Originals or Legacies) but when I started watching I was immediately drawn to Lizzie and Hope because I am a sucker for the push and pull. But Like You I went -- nah, this is a Julie Plec show. AND THEN LIKE YOU, THE CAR HAPPENED.

I was beside myself! And then Lizzie gifts her whole Miss Mystic Falls to Hope! who an episode ago Lizzie hated like fire??? And then the whole 'let it out' scene happened??? (My headcanon for Lizzie's dislike for Landon really started because of his jealous streak during the dance).

And yes, that moment when Lizzie remembered her FIRST? With the Hope Heart Eyes, she was directing at Josie? But Apparently, Seared in Lizzie's MEMORY?????

AND THEN THE NOIR EPISODE WITH THE MUSIC AT THE END. WITH FATUM???

The clown make-up is THICK.

Season 3 might be.... not great but like you pointed out: THERE WAS THAT STAR WARS FANFIC. And before that Hope invited Lizzie to netflix and chill with her and golem!Landon!

And the whole of Season 4! The way they positioned Lizzie firmly in the direction of Hope's storyline.

I will be the first one to tread shippy waters with caution and to basically never read into anything at all, but I genuinely do not know what’s happening in this show sometimes. The relationship between the two of them is so central to the plot now that I cannot imagine any more logical or narratively-effective endgame than the two of them dating.

They are making them so central to the plot that it can't be anything else, but I also can't let my expectations too high because the showrunner and the team of writers have disappointed us before!

This is me at Julie Plec Right NOW (Every Time).

But also:

So I am still sitting here in my clown car with my clown make-up playing stupid circus music on an infinite loop.

I am right in the clown car next to you! Just like the Face of Boe to Ten: You Are Not Alone!

Lizzie really was looking for the first opportunity to stop completely avoiding and unilaterally hating Hope, wasn't she. And getting her memories of Hope back OF THAT SCENE SPECIFICALLY???? When she's been vocally against Hope dating Josie and her sister WAS TALKING ABOUT HAVING A CRUSH ON HOPE???? I'M??????

Also. Yes, headcanon subscribed about Lizzie's dislike of Landon, I love it!!

I was already fully on board when it became clear that Hope was one of the few people that was never going to judge Lizzie for her mental illness (rejecting ableism is something that can be So Personal), but the "let it out" scene really cemented it for me, I think. Because they both have A Lot™ of emotions because of stuff in their lives they can't control, and I think that allows for a compatibility and a sense of mutual understanding that isn't present in some of the other dynamics in the show.

THE NOIR EPISODE, SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE I ONLY EXPERIENCED IT IN A FEVER DREAM, BUT NO IT'S REAL

God, Julie Plec and Co. have disappointed me just...so many times. But I'm still here, so I guess I must still have some expectations, I just need to make like Amy Poehler and lower them. 🤣

And thank you for boarding the clown car, it's nice to have another passenger!!

[eledritch]

(1/2) Dragon riders au hc: The Empire is an anti dragon, corrupt kingdom who kidnaps kids and trains them till theyre soldiers. Shiro grew up in the empire to be a soldier but started tending too a wounded dragon and they became pals. Voltron is a rebel group of dragon riders who can't do much but just being a general nuisance for the empire. Keith meets shiro when he's on a burn run (they burn all the empires food). He brings shiro and black back to Voltron and they start

(2/2) Taking the empire down from the inside with Shiro (and the blades) help. All while red and black are truing to get shiro and Keith to confess

Bless you....I love the idea of Shiro finding an injured dragon and realizing they’re both big softies. So here you go. @ how to train your dragon, much? Shiro is about 19-20 in this, because I figure he and black would have been flying together for several years before meeting Voltron/Keith.

Shiro’s never been this close to one of them. Not while they were still alive, anyway. 

He’s not sure if this really counts as alive, though. The dragon has collapsed on the ground, the dark bulk of its huge, limp body partly hidden among the thick ferny undergrowth, head lolled to the side and legs half-tucked underneath it, exposing the jagged slashes across its flanks and in between some of the softer belly plates, which were once pale as bone but are now stained with the darkening rust-red of blood. 

Shiro winces, knowing the weapons that must have caused the wounds all too well - harpoons and modified grappling hooks, thrown and shot from the Empire’s aircraft. They’re designed to slice clean through dragon wings, sending the creatures plummeting to the earth like stones. 

But this one seems to have dodged that particular fate - he can see no tears in its leathery black wings, haphazardly folded across the ground, as unmoving as the rest of it. Emboldened by its stillness, save for the shallow rise and fall of its chest, he takes a few steps closer, hand on his sword, curiosity outweighing caution. Its eyes are open in hazy golden slits, and its jaws are open too, blood and saliva dripping from teeth longer than Shiro’s forefingers, and twice as thick. 

No wonder the Empire’s devoted themselves and their soldiers to destroying these creatures. They’re monstrous. Shiro shoves away the memory of his village in flames, screaming and crying echoing through the streets as a shadow passes overhead. That was ten years ago. When he was a child, he hadn’t been able to stop the beast in time. The Empire had swooped in and slain it, though too late to save Shiro’s parents. They’d taken Shiro into their care afterwards, and molded him into the soldier he wished he could have been on that fateful day.

But dragons are much rarer now than they were a decade ago. The Empire’s work is nearly complete. This dragon is one of the few who managed to evade them, and from the looks of it, it’s an old one. Much older than a decade, certainly. Shiro read once that dragons can supposedly live for thousands of years, but he doubts it. He thinks they would be wiser, less prone to senseless murder and cruelty, if they truly lived that long. 

Anyway, it doesn’t matter. This one’s life will be ended soon enough. 

Shiro takes another step forward, raising his sword. The dragon’s body rumbles with a low, weak roar. It can’t seem to lift its head, leaving the soft spot of scales just under its jaw exposed. It’s an easy kill. Almost too easy. Shiro swallows - he can do this. All this training, all this fighting, and for what? To falter at the thought of slaying a wounded dragon? It would kill and eat him in an instant.

If it could even move. 

The dragon is bleeding out, or at least bleeding too much. Its sharp black scales shine with iridescence like a starling’s feathers, dulled and darkened where they’re covered with blood. Killing it would be a mercy, at this point. 

Mind made up, Shiro starts forward with purpose, raising his sword higher, aiming for the unprotected throat -

Killing me will not bring back those you have lost.

Shiro stumbles to a halt, nearly dropping his sword. He whirls around wildly, but there is no one there. The forest is quiet, even the birds have stopped singing. He looks back at the dragon. Its glowing golden eye is opened fully, looking straight at him. “What,” Shiro breathes, taking a step back, “that’s not possible -”

Not usually, no. The dragon continues to stare at him, steadily. The voice in his head is deep, ancient, possibly male. But certainly not human. 

“How?” Shiro whispers. “Am I losing my mind? Dragons don’t talk. They can’t, they...you’re just...”

Mindless murderous beasts? The dragon snorts, a thin puff of smoke issuing from its nostrils. Out of the two of us, I think your kind better fit that description.

“The Empire is saving people,” Shiro retorts, gripping the hilt of his sword tight. This cannot be happening. “I’m not going to debate morality with a damn dragon!”

Fine. You should at least know that of all the humans I’ve encountered, you are the first who was able to hear me. But by all means, let your blade swing true.

Shiro is frozen.

What is it, brave knight? The dragon, Shiro thinks, is laughing at him. 

He grits his teeth. “You have the nerve to think you can sway me from my duty by mocking me? Your ability to speak means nothing. It does not change your cruel nature. It does not change the oath I swore to the Empire.”

You are right, the dragon says, and Shiro frowns at it. My ability to speak is not unique. It is unremarkable - all dragons can speak. We are highly intelligent ‘beasts,’ with language and history and culture and emotion. Not that you humans bothered to learn any of this. 

“We were too busy trying not to get eaten,” Shiro snaps. 

Most of us have not eaten humans in centuries, nor do we wish to. Humans are a last resort, but more and more of us turn to that final resort as your kind encroach upon our territory and take our prey. 

“You expect me to believe you are innocent?” Shiro shakes his head. “Why then did they shoot you down, dragon?”

Because I am what I am. The dragon blinks at him, slow and somber. Why did they take you from your burning village? Because you were an orphan, and they were opportunistic vultures who needed boy soldiers. 

Shiro is cold all over. “How did you know that?”

I know many things about you, Takashi Shirogane.

“Gods,” Shiro whispers, “what are you?”

Are you asking for my name, Takashi Shirogane? It is polite to sheathe one’s sword when introductions are being made. 

“You expect me to lay down my sword after reading my thoughts aloud?” Shiro hisses. “I am not a fool, dragon.”

The dragon sighs. Svartur, it says. That is my name. May you crow it from the rooftops after you collect my head, brave knight. 

“Svartur,” Shiro repeats. The dragon shivers, and bleeds. “Before I kill you, Svartur, answer me one question - why can I hear you speak?”

Ah, what a question, brave knight. Svartur makes a sound like a chuckle, dry and rasping. More blood bubbles up past its black gums, spilling onto the earth. When you humans first arrived in these lands, we dragons were glad. This is because we had a legend, a legend which told of your kind’s coming. And the legend said this: that every dragon would find a human, and every human would find a dragon, and they would be able to understand each other more fully than any other beings can. We called these humans riders. Every dragon has a rider. And you, it seems, are mine, Takashi Shirogane. The fates are cruel indeed. Five thousand years, and my rider is an Empire knight who craves vengeance against the wrong enemy. 

Shiro lowers the sword. “Five thousand years?” he whispers.

Yes, brave knight. How does that knowledge make you feel? Does it make you feel powerful, knowing that for creatures who rarely live to a century of age, you humans have caused a remarkable amount of death and destruction?

“No,” Shiro says, or rather admits. “No, it doesn’t make me feel powerful.”

Svartur watches him. I expected you would have killed me by now.

“And I expected you wouldn’t tell me a fanciful tale of dragonriders, but here we are,” Shiro mutters. He sheaths his sword, and swears he sees genuine surprise in the dragon’s eyes. “How can I be your rider?” he demands. “Why me?”

I do not know, Takashi Shirogane, the dragon says. Perhaps we can find out together. 

“Together,” Shiro repeats, eyes narrowed. “How?”

Well, Svartur says, you will have to save my life rather than end it, for a start.