#can you tell i'm currently writing an mdzs fic bc my brain is rotting

[pocketsizedowls]

Lan Xichen, libra extraordinaire, has never made a decision in his life.

He's been trained to, of course, but only in an official capacity. His uncle once told him to only make decisions after gathering sufficient information, and that has since become the most important rule in his life. This means he's great at mediating conflict, hosting banquets, and making executive decisions like which village gets more rice and what policies he should enact, but he never knows what to eat for dinner and what to do during his free time.

Lan Wangji, neurodivergent/autistic icon, is the complete opposite. He's a picky perfectionist with a strict daily routine, which no one ever interrupts because why should they? It's just Wangji being Wangji. And, in fact, everyone should strive to be like him. Perhaps if he grew up somewhere rowdier like Lotus Pier or the Unclean Realm then someone would finagle him into being spontaneous, but this is the Cloud Recesses. Of course nobody bothered him until Wei Wuxian came along and turned his world upside down.

Before Wei Wuxian, though, there was Lan Xichen. He stops by the Jingshi often, not because he is concerned for his antisocial little brother (well, maybe just a little), but because he gets so bored sometimes and he never knows what to do. Whenever Uncle is busy, little Xichen likes to find little Wangji and follow his routine with him. Can I join you as you meditate, he asks, and can I eat dinner with you? What do you suggest I do after lectures tomorrow? The other day I took your advice and made a painting, do you wanna see it? Can you pick a book out of this pile for me to read first? I can't seem to decide.

This is why Lan Xichen gets along so well with people. He goes along with things, lets people make decisions for him, and genuinely enjoys it. He earns the trust of the skeptical people without even trying to, just because he lets them pick which wine to order at the inn and what day they should go on a night hunt. You might think it's quite counterintuitive for an all-important sect leader to be this indecisive, but it worked out for the majority of his life. Just like how he chooses to believe in the good in people, people also believe in the good in him.

These days, though, Lan Xichen is reconsidering his behavior. As weeks turn into months turn into years, he stares out the windows of the Hanshi and wonders: Would everything turn out differently if he made more decisions based on instinct? Who can he even trust anymore? Would Nie Mingjue still be alive today, if he didn't force him and A-Yao to become sworn brothers? Would A-Yao still be alive today, if he listened to Wangji and Wei-gongzi's warning sooner? All the people who tell him he did nothing wrong must be lying. How can nothing be his fault?

Meanwhile, on the other side of the Cloud Recesses, Lan Wangji adds more items to his routine. With Lan Xichen in seclusion, he's busy now. He teaches and he nighthunts and he sits through meetings and he spends time with Wei Ying. He also visits his brother. He drops by the Hanshi every three days and says, can I join you as you meditate, and can I eat dinner with you? What do you suggest I do after lectures tomorrow? The other day I took your advice and wrote a new song, do you wanna hear it? Can you pick a book out of this pile for me to read first? I can't seem to decide.