#can't wait for Thyjs month

[chevvy-yates]

WIP WEDNESDAY

Not being tagged, just thought I could share some stuff I'm onto. :) Decided to tag others because I'd love to see an update from you as well (if you got sth, no pressure!).

So I'm tagging; @imaginarycyberpunk2023, @medtech-mara, @elvenbeard, @humberg, @ugh-my-back, @itzsassha, @kittenchrissy, @hydrasshole, @spicyraeman, @bnbc, @drunkchasind, @morganlefaye79, @gloryride FYI: some of you are currently hyperfixating bg3 I know; doesn't matter to me. You are welcome to share wips of this as well (even I'm not into it) bc you may have followers that may be interested to see that as well?

—

At first

So, last weekend I've been producing a little mass of Ryder in things VP I can now scatter over the next few weeks — at the cost of entirely neglecting my other boys once again. As always I feel bad about it, because they deserve attention as well (especially JJ bc he got the least atm, but @gloryride takes so pretty shippy pics of Enzo and him lately, I'm always melting when I get to see them! I'll give him and them love soon too I promise!). It is what it is — Ry happens to be my personal fav. I have to accept it and say it is okay.

— NPV

Some of you know I have him already as npv and I was about to get things ready for others who might be interested in taking pics of him or/and befriend him with their own ocs.

FYI: His npv is not only for me! So feel free to ask me about him. I do not bite (but he does) :)

However, just by using his npv version only a few times I knew I need more than the 15 outfits he already got due to story related things and general vp ideas with two or more ocs in my head. So only after like what? — barely three months he's going to receive an update with the rest of his outfits to be added. There's only one permission I'm waiting for. If I do not receive an answer in the next days, these two outfits will be added without that specific piece.

— VP

I. Nice pics

That I took a mass of him mainly happened bc I needed 2-3 pics for my info pdf as I grew tired of some older ones (without raytracing) and I was missing one for Formal, Summer and one for Merc anyways as well as the Special category, so I took pics in one of the outfits that are presented there.

I'll post them during the next few weeks. It's just pretty pics since their intention is more or less focused on the outfit in general.

I'm trying to get more interesting shots in between but I'm super critical with myself thinking my ideas aren't 'great', ' very conceptual' or 'interesting' enough (I do not feel forced to do it in the fandom, but I know I should do it ore often bc it is my job life too) – I do think the same about may daily business work and yet I receive comments from coworkers like 'You're so creative with this one' and 'glad I took your expertise', so I can't be that uncreative, heh?.

II. Sneak Peak

Y'all may have noticed that there's a new harness out for both female and male and ofc I was all bats about how it looks on Ry. So here I can show you his fine belly for now:

My Idea was to take pictures in green light (the Afterlife stairway). But once I started colorgrading afterwards in Adobe Lightroom, I almost deleted the entire green because the brown makes him look way more "realistic".

I'm torn between doing all pics this way or split it up into both. The green def. has a nice catch but I'm so sold to the colorgraded version. I want to bring him back together with Thyjs there anyways, so maybe I'll use the green for them instead and then pics in the Afterlife stairway make more sense (if I try think story wise) rather than jsut a nice photoset with lots of skin that could have been shot anywhere since you do not see wehere it is exactly. Next days will decide what I do with the green or not.

III. Reshots.

Ryder is turns 1 this year! September 17th is his creation day (his birthday is October 31st though). <3 So I took the opportunity to look at his first pics I did back in the day, where I had zero clue what to do with him. A few characteristics were set; like his black clothing only concept but in general I didn't know how he would react in pictures. Today I know!

Here's a another sneak peak. Taking him from emotionless oc to German Raver Dude™. <3

Fun fact: I forgot to add his blade cyberware back then on the first day and redid the pics already the next day (Sep. 18th) with the blades but left this pic on the left out bc I didn't like it that much. He looked at me like a psycho and made me think "Will I like you?"

Last year I tried to make my pics colorful, because Cyberpunk is a colorful game after all, but I forced myself to do bc usually my style is and always has been like the colors are in the right picture; desaturated, with a nice noise. I'm happy I went to retake his first pics and I'll continue with a few (e.g. The Atlantis, Konpeki red maybe too).

— FIC (snippet)

Here's one of my rp answers of a deep talk Ry and Arki are having during a rooftop party. It's only my reply so it's why Arki does not say anything here.

Ryder suddenly feels understood. He shifts into an upright position, placing one knee onto the other, his foot wobbling to the sound of the music playing in the background. Arki almost sounds like he’s battling the same, but on a different level. You feel like that too? Ry’s eyes get bigger and he gives off a rather surprised look as he listens further. He decides to sip his bottle again, takes a deep breath, then shifts into another position anew, looking at the reflection in the glass. “Yeah — ‘Bad. Enduring. Aggressing. Sinister. Termination.' — or in short: 'B.E.A.S.T.' That's how I started calling it that way.” Ry states, eyes back on him. “It forces me to do -bad-. It’s sort of an -enduring- beat in my head, I can beat Beast only for a time while listening to hard rave beats. — It makes me -aggressive- to no end. It -scares- me because out of not knowing what’s happening I am frightened to see what I’ve done again because— because it only ends with -termination- for my opponents while I’m just lucky to have survived each time.” Ryder adds with a cracking voice followed by a sigh.

Arki’s ‘You are not alone, Ryder’ gave Scharfenberg, to his own surprise, hope again. “Funny,” he lets out next, another tiny laugh leaving his lips. “Never thought someone could understand me, feel what I feel. And out of all it turns out to be you.” — He explained it to V and to Thy. They tried but will never understand it entirely because they do not –thank the netlords– have to deal with it as he has. “How it looks inside me, how it screams and yells in there. Tells me how I have to do it.”  I never wanted this, Ryder thinks for himself. Must kill! Beast barks at him immediately. Halt doch einfach mal die Fresse! Ryder yells back in German in his mind, his teeth bared a little behind lightly twitching lips as his expression slips for Arki to see. “But I—” he goes on, eyes continuing to fix onto Arki’s. Fetch me souls! “— how can I win? Be good? Get rid of it — the fire, the burning voice, the constant pounds and torment? That rage?” Ry throws in one question after another, gaze fixated on the other man as if he awaits an answer Arki surely may not have for him either after he told how he feels as well. Scharfenberg takes a bigger sip and enjoys the fizzing of the beer on his tongue again for a moment. “I can't escape it. Got to go the way it chases me. It’s an endless road.” His hand reaches up to rub his beard for a long moment as he leans back, hesitating if he should tell more or not. Let Arki eventually take part of his struggle he's been battling for almost eight years now. His gaze wanders off again to look literally everywhere, legs now both bob a certain rhythm even though the background music in the distance is currently off because Vijay seems to be searching for some other tunes. “For me it's a daily and constant ‘knock-knock’ that says: "Now where is that anger? That hunger to kill? You need it. Fetch me souls”—suddenly he swings back forth again, voice getting louder, teeth baring, white rings of his optics flaring up dangerously fixed back on Arki. ”Hey! — I'm here, don't you ignore me! Let me out! They harmed you. Kill them. Let me— Let me out! Must! Kill! All!" Ryder expresses himself citing Beast under repressed anger. He abruptly takes another big gulp, and falls back into the lounge, a heavy sigh leaving his lips as he’s busy for a moment pushing Beast back.

okay that was a lot actually. I could ad way more but I'll keep that for another wip post! xD

Thanks for reading and kudos to everyone who landed here!

[chevvy-yates]

WIP Wednesday

Been tagged by @morganlefaye79 thx! <3

I tag: @imaginarycyberpunk2023, @itzsassha, @medtech-mara, @therealnightcity, @humberg, @pinkyjulien, @hydrasshole @kharonion and @elvenbeard as always: no pressure!

— VP

No plans atm other than preparing and thinking about sth for Arki as his birthday follows up next. Also promised I'll take some pics of Enzo and Jay as i couldn't make it in time for Enzo's bday. So I don't have much to add other than what I sneak-peaked last week that will be posted when I feel ready to push the button in my drafts (some pics are already months old again …). All other VP ideas are on hold as I still would liketo play the game a bit longer and only do random pics in between — but I need to solve first my problem I have with Thyjs' save data that is crashing when wanting to watch the deathshead BD in Judy's van. I want to look into it on the weekend because before I hop back into my bigger VP ideas I plan to get every oc into Phantom Liberty start and have them skilled a bit because that also motivates me to actually play the game from time to time and helps me to describe their fight style in the rp story. If I can't solve it I'll try Vijay next and see if he crashes too at the same point or not as I remember he's not far away from the Scav mission either. Then last I can try is Jay but he needs to get through the entire prologue first which will take me a weekend as well.

FIC/STORY/RP

Once I get Vijay's npv, @nervouswizardcycle and I can finally start taking story pics as well, though I believe she might just wait until she gets her new pc for that. I have overworked "The Golden Demon of Kabuki" text some months ago so it is a better readable fic now. I will place it into layout as soon as the needed pics are done. Then I'll see what happens next. Probably try and get ch2 ready.

I've said enough now, let's give you another snip-bit:

CORPO PARTY RP SNIPPET (my part only):

He noticed that Vijay says something Ry can’t concentrate on since he’s busy staring the redhead down and trying to see through him, but sees V starts walking and so he follows. They walked a bit further away leaving the red-haired man alone, Vijay pleased to stay and wait until they would come back to him. Once they were far away enough, Ryder turns around and raises his voice with a certain gnarl in his undertone “I leave you alone for almost an hour and you take the next best chance to shove your tongue down the throat of one of those Corporats?!” “Ry—” Vijay starts but Ryder is not done and so he hisses dangerously. “ON A JOB!? — Seriously V!” Scharfenberg shifts his weight to one leg, breathes audibly through his nostrils, crosses his arms and waits for V’s explanation.

Somehow Steyr finds it funny because he knows Ryder exaggerates it as always. Nonetheless Vijay feels a bit embarrassed as well because he knows Ry is also right. He should behave in a certain manner here but he is bad at being a Corpo. “Calm down man — Part of the job now,” V answers and gives him a stupid smirk. “You weren’t in reach. Had to escape from that escort chick otherwise I’d have blown cover. Unlike you I dunno how to friggin’ corpo. Dunno how to even pronounce my fuckin’ fake name either. Stainback von Kra– Krawnee–” “Steinbach von Kranichstein!” Ryder repeats fast in exasperation. 

They’ve practiced it a few times before and V still wasn’t able to pronounce it right. “Yeah whatever!” Vijay gestures with his hands. “But uh— Arki happened to—” “Oh, it’s ‘Arki’ already?!” “—chill a few feet away from me, so I took the chance to escape and, yeah — he’s my fiancé in disguise now as long as we are on the job here. He’s the dude from the Afterlife weeks ago, ‘member? Could help us out on this.” Ryder raises both eyebrows, his mouth opens a bit and he feels how Beast wants him to yell at V yet he -tries- to stay the calmest he can be. “Afterlife red haired rando? Supposed demon — your fiancé?! Alter Vadder! Tell me this is a joke!?” Ryder throws both hands in the air and makes a few steps as if he wants to walk away now and curses further in German “Ich glaub, ich bin im falschen FIlm!” He wasn’t in the wrong movie, though. “Chill, bro. I’ve got it under control. All good,” Steyr tries to calm his friend. “V, you know he’s a—” Scharfenberg starts but stops abruptly as he realizes something now that doesn’t make much sense to him. Wait. Afterlife merc rando— a true Corporate? How’s that fitting in? “He’s what?” V raises an eyebrow at that. “Forget it!“ “M‘Kay, if y’say so.” V crosses his arms, not satisfied about Ry’s answer.

“Just don’t like to get into a fucking mess,V!” Scharfenberg spits his sentence out rather inappropriately. Judging by V’s face however Ry notices it is meant seriously, so he facepalms with an angry growl as Beast already tells him to just flip the switch, turn around and kill some of those poor dancing souls behind him. “I’m not riding us into a mess. I bet he can help us to klep the info we here for.” Ryder gets immensely fidgety, looking into every direction trying to ignore the voice as best as he can. He fiddles out a menthol cigarette, lights it up and takes a few long puffs inhaling it deeply into his lungs as he walks up and down glad that Vijay waits until he’s done. The least V could use was having Ryder in a critical state on this job, so V gives his best mate time to clear his mind.

“Fine— But we’re not done talking about this!” Ryder states as he throws the smoked up stub on the bottom to rather aggressively put it out with his double varnished fine shoe. He doesn’t look amused about the fact that his best friend obviously seemed to know this dude named Arki already better than he thought. Steyr must have kept this info from him for whatever reason and he doesn’t like it at all. But since it is not part of the job right now, he accepts this now changed situation. So he takes another deep breath and says under gritted teeth “Let's get back to your new flame then, see if he can be of help as you predict and brief him.” Vijay gives him a thankful gaze. He knows it’s not easy for Ry to control but he managed well enough not to raise any suspicion and V does feel guilty too for not telling Ry he knows Arki already better than he might think. They would discuss it later. But now back to business. So they walked back to the redhead who was awaiting them back where they left him, enjoying a cigarette.

[chevvy-yates]

Alright, I thought about it last night a bit.

I may just stop forcing myself to do the usual 'male v monday' 'shippy saturday' 'thirsty thursday' 'wip wednesday' stuff (I mean I can't even manage to keep up with that either) and instead post whenever I want, like I do on Friday already when everyone is posting their gorgeous females but I (if I post) do post my boys since I do not have any female oc.

I don't know if I'll completely abandon the tags for it or not. it's gonna be more: if I manage to post on that day, I'll add it, if not, I'll reblog and then tag it with the tag or sth like that.

I will still try and take my at least 30min of time a day (mostly after work around 6pm German time) to browse tblr. Queue often makes noe sense to me, sometimes I use ib when I feel I've reblogged to much in a row already but I do not tage anything that will come from my queue so you won#t even notice that it was queued.

I've also set a few blogs on receive notifications so I do not miss any new posts. I love that feature! But sometimes I have to stop using it if a blog keeps posting like every 1h through the day which will give me 24 notes a day on my phone - forcing me to look and I can't do that. I need to find some balance somehow. Still a thing to figure out to have it healthy.

I do not want to abandon looking at content because you all create so many cool things, but in this fandom, as I already said it so many times: it is just so hard to keep up with it. So please do not be mad about me or think I do not like your stuff (anymore) because I've not liked/reblogged a thing lately of your content. I often feel very 'unmenschlich' (inhuman?) when I can't find time to give some love to others work bc I receive so much from all of you, therefore I want to give it back as well.

Idk how you manage having 4+ ocs btw. I with my 4 boys feel like I abandon at least one for too long (rn it is Vijay - and it makes me so incredibly sad, no one will probably understand). But I have to keep telling myself, he will receive a whole lot of attention and love again. However, this month is for Thyjs, because he's having his birthday soon (13th) and so I will focus on him in the first place.

I decided to slide in Jaysen for something else yesterday (because spontaneous things still happen) and I'll hopp in to take a bunch of pic of him as well once my writing here is done, bc he's modeling for some new real cool pants. And then I go back to my soldier boy doing the same (if I can manage bc taking pic … takes time xD).

What elese?

I'll just need to find a balance when I do at least answer roleplay or do story writing because this also I feel very bad about It gets neglected the most, mainly because I've never been a writer. But I find such joy in it and I feel like a bad person that my rp partner always has to wait such long time until I answer. Some days I'd just love to thorw literally everything aside and just do rp 24h nonstop (we all know this doesn't work) because I love love love this story that developed in the past year and when I think about it I'm just so hyped to share it one day but it's a lot of work to do. It's gotten something like a lifetime project by now?

And I need to stop hording my drafts. Its getting ridiculous …