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monster-noises · 1 year

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Ahahahahaaha love love Love getting Medical Anxiety triggered by over hearing something at work and fucking Finally feeling normal by the end of the work day only to come home and Remember It

Best time

Good vibes

My insides are vibrating at a daaaaangerous frequency and it's Not Helping

#monster noises #i never know what to call this type of Ongoing Exaggerated Anxiety #cause I don't want to misues terms #and I don't think it's...... Active enough for me to qualify it as Paranoia Or Hypochondria #but it's got a Hairline trigger #(i.e useful tips posted benignly on the internet about how to check for/detect something - overhearing co workers talk about their health -#part of a podcast that portrays a catastrophic health event; all things that have sent me absolutely Spiralling #some that Continue to affect my behavior)#and a base level of Constant Fear that i just really wish i didn't have to deal with #i loose a lot of days were i'm just kinda puttering around not doing much unable to drum up the energy because my Brain is on Fire #trying to convince myself i either Am or Am Not on the verge of having a Stroke or some shit #and I don't talk about it a lot because.........#idk #seems like it's not serious enough to warrant it #though it absolutely is #and i don't want anyone to like... get concerned cause that's just gunna make Me Worse #and that's Really not gunna help

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