#clothing. we're going to erase the data on her locked phone and it will become mine. and my life will be held in the same divice that hers
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#ho hum. goodbye to 2024. good riddence i suppose. probably my worst year yet haha#but it wasnt all bad. i learned a lot. experienced a lot.#im doing probably better than i ever have been. probably from the treatment for over controlled coping. along with an awareness#that something has to give or i will literally die. also probably the medication. probably a lot the medication.#and its weird because everything mostly feels normal.#im only sometimes paralyzed by the terror of what it means to die.#even when im living in the shell of a ghost and breathing out haunted words. her phrase are woven within my speech and im wrapped in her#clothing. we're going to erase the data on her locked phone and it will become mine. and my life will be held in the same divice that hers#was held in. and she will dissolve away into the future. seeping away with every second without a body to hold her in thr present#anyway. heres to hoping 2025 is better. heres to hoping i can remain in my program. heres to hoping i can avert my compusive striving for a#perfect that doesnt exist.#and that all our tragedies are behind us. an impossible dream but so it goes.#unrelated
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