#crossposted from discord messages because sometimes that's how i tell stories to my friends like we are cavemen sitting around a fire

[cure-icy-writes]

Next year’s treasure: a fucking elevator

So, Arven carries a lot of supplies with him. He’s got a weird relationship with gender where he’s definitely a guy, but finds himself relating more to terms like Eldest Daughter Syndrome and Mom Friend. He doesn’t consider himself particularly gender nonconforming; at least, not on purpose. He just thinks the binary of gender roles is stupid and he wants to opt out.

Why is it a gendered trait that he raised himself, that he shows affection for his friends by making sure they’re well fed because his mom and dad were never around to cook for him? Why is it a gendered trait that behind the uncaring facade he puts up, he's actually quite anxious, especially after what happened to mabosstiff, and he likes to be prepared for any situation? Why is it a gendered trait that he doesn't expect anyone else to take care of him, doesn't want to be taken care of as much as he desperately craves it, and keeps all his baggage, emotional and physical, to himself?

Still, it’s heavy. It’s a lot  to carry around, especially up the stairs. So, Penny is exhausted. All the time, actually. Her therapist says it’s a trauma response, that all of her energy goes towards processing and healing from the bullying she endured, and she’s been nearly a shut-in for so long that her constitution is shit.

And then there's her transition-- objectively, coming out of her shell and coming out to her parents was a net positive. Back in the days when her denial was at its peak, she buzzed her hair short, trying to prove something to herself, to her bullies. Looking back, that haircut feels like an act of violence against herself, but now she is growing it out, and has to admit she feels cute more days than not.

Dysphoria still flares up from time to time, but Penny's got a cute backpack, a skirt and patterned leggings, a knack for wearing just enough eyeliner to make people question if she's wearing makeup or just has pretty eyes. Right now, her gender goals are Just Some Girl. And she's getting there. She doesn't need to be some exaggerated model of femininity, she's just another girl in the crowd, kinda cute but not in a way that stands out.

But now that her body is running on estrogen, now that she's no longer literally running from her problems, her muscle mass...well. It's seen better days. She'd like to maybe build up her stamina, but school makes it hard.

Especially those damned stairs. So, Nemona is disabled. The compression sleeve normally keeps it under control, but it's an aid, a tool, not a cure or a perfect fix. Her gross motor coordination with that arm isn't good enough for a lot of sports, she struggles to throw pokeballs, and it gets sweaty and gross sometimes, which is unpleasant.

The specifics of it are, basically, a somewhat benign growth on her blood vessels will swell up and press uncomfortably against the nerves if she's not careful. It's not hurting much for now, and she knows her limits, but she's sort of looking forward to the day she's old enough to get it surgically fixed. She's got to wait until her body is fully developed for that-- something about pediatric surgery being a risky endeavor-- and honestly, that's okay. Makes sense to her.

She knows her limits, knows what kinds of exercises she can do without exacerbating her bad arm, and she's got more hobbies than battling. She's got friends to hang out with, friends who understand, even. So most days, she's fine with being a little disabled. There are worse fates out there, and it's taught her how to get creative and work around limitations to find solutions.

But some days, she resents it. Because her arm is always throbbing with pain by the time she makes it up the academy stairs.

So, the new transfer student is something of a force of nature. Defeating titans, collecting gym badges, and sweeping through Star bases like it’s nothing. Everything has changed since their arrival, like a revolution in process, and by the look in their eyes, everything's going to keep changing, and for the better.

Those stairs never stood a chance.