#don't put a cultural stumbling block in the path of a child

[loveerran]

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is Very Gendered (TM). In fact, we are sometimes Super Gendered (TM) (/negative).

We are so deep in this that we actually have cultural names for some hypothetical Gender Ideal (TM). And if you think that’s a little too much (TM)i, then you should try living the reality! Consider:

Molly Mormon, and Peter Priesthood are terms we apply to the ‘perfect’ female and male individuals who fit a quintessential cultural paradigm.

Think about that! We actively, as a culture, push the idea that it isn’t enough to be a Man or Woman, you also must fit some impossible ideal of your gender that carries connotations of advanced obedience to particular interpretations of a hyper-specific religious culture (as opposed to the actual requirements of Christ’s gospel).

Guess how many people fit that paradigm? If you guessed a number approaching zero, then you’re on the right track.

(It’s a non-zero number and I want to emphasize that it’s ok to be a Molly or a Peter! Even admirable!)

But if those aren’t the shoes that fit you, if you want to be a Man who wears long hair and a non-white shirt to church and maybe not even a tie or a little bit of jewelry, that is also ok! And if you are a Woman who has a career and puts a little color in her shorter-than-average-hair or maybe has a tattoo and wears pants to church, you are valid and amazing!

From a religious perspective, what matters is that you are seeking the light and sharing it with those around you. That you are engaged in the wrestle. That you are loving God, your neighbor and yourself.

Personal opinion:

Almost no one in the world can identify with these gender stereotypes. The risk in maintaining them is that we are giving the adversary of our souls an opening. When individuals feel measured or judged by their performance relative to a cultural mandate (worse yet, one with an imprimatur of divine endorsement), we make it easier to believe harmful things.

'See? You don't really belong. You will never be one of the good ones.'

And we risk leading some to confuse cultural conformity with being righteous or being loved by our Heavenly Parents.

Supplanting gospel standards with cultural standards hurts children and families.

[veetyuh]

I'm reminded of that "antishipping isn't purity culture because it isn't conservative christianity" post... And I think I've done some unpacking on why it triggers me so much.

I was an intersex child shoved into the role of a female, in a rural & conservative Christian environment. I've had not just purity culture shoved down my throat, but also the shame of not being able to meet the expectations put on women in that environment.

It's not just cover up, slut. That implies I had something to show off, to begin with. And men still want to ogle you and imagine what your body is like beneath that modest dress. So here, literal child. Have this shapewear to make your figure conform to that of a developing middle school female's under your clothes.

It's contradictory that way. You have to try to be unappealing to not 'tempt' men, but you still need to be appealing in the sense of conventional female attractiveness. Moreover, you must not think about men or sex at all. But you cannot be asexual — your parents demand grandchildren.

Antis do the same with their queer representation. It's the same contradictory expectations... They champion the idea of breaking societal norms through queerness (i.e. the idea of 'queer as in fuck you'), then demand that every nuclear family norm be met. Queer characters must be disruptive without actually disrupting anything. And the contradictions apply to fans, too — you're homophobic if you don't like a canon queer ship, and you're fetishistic if you like queer ships too much. (There are more, but I'd be stuck here forever if I listed them all. 😅)

There's also the obvious — fictional sins being as bad as things done in real life. There's Matthew 5, which includes so many popular verses about thought control that Christians use, and equates bad thought to bad doing.

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

And fuck if antis aren't cutting off their entire goddamn arm and gouging out both eyes.

It's not just purity culture they embody, though — it's the satanic panic, too. Good lord the amount of times my grandma wouldn't let me watch Ghost Hunters because she thought I was welcoming demons into the home, or her concern for me watching horror movies because I'd surely become more violent. It's the same shit, different horse.

On a more light-hearted note, they play the same game that Christian demoninations do, too. I was Baptist, and considered the Methodists okay. But the Catholics? No, keep that shit away from me. Why are you worshipping Mary? That's idolatry! How horrible, to openly spit in God's face. When I read antis' DNI lists rattling off forbidden, unredeemable fandoms, it feels the same way, haha.

But what really seals the deal for me is how they smile in your face and promise they're just looking out for you. Christians do that, too. "We want you to get better. We want to help you. You're on a dark path." While they break your bones to force you into their mold. You may not be hurting anyone on your dark path, but they'll convince you that you ARE. You're hurting yourself "spiritually," you're hurting the community, your family, by being an abomination to God. You're hurting everyone and yourself, you just need us to help you realize it. Antis feel the exact same. I block them pre-emptively because I cannot handle having that shit directed at me again.

Moreover, their insults feel the same. The childish "icky," the ad hominems. It's too reminiscent for me. Of my mom hating my icky facial hair and my classmates making fun of my masc traits when they thought I couldn't hear; you are a gross person!!1! Ew!!!

It's funny that antis are so often anti-kink, considering they're so fucking intent on giving me a golden shower and telling me it's rain. I hope they're careful not to choke on the homophobic, pedophilic pastor cock they're sucking.