#east coast but only bc i've spent the most time there so i know it well enough

[chronicallyblogged]

I just had a friend send me an "interesting" cultural vid on tik tok. Trying to be nice bc she knows I like learning about things and she knows my family has irish roots. What she doesn't know is that we only immigrated a few generations ago. That my family then lived on the east coast near or in Irish communities until after my father was born and I spent my whole late teens saying "fuck you" to those roots. I stubbornly call myself nothing more than American when people ask me. Which I've had people ask, mainly foreigners bc they are convinced I look European or Russian. I only had 2 people figure out I had Irish heritage and they were both from the local Irish community. I dont know what gave me away those times, I changed my last name to the most British thing possible, but I dont wish for that to happen again. I don't want to be anything but American. I've gotten too much crap bc I didn't fit in the standards of whats appropriate for a Irish person. Especially not a catholic one. The rest of the extended family used to complain bc my dad was a bit out of line and bc my dad is my grandma's baby I would get yelled at in his place. Then I also went screw it and went against all standards which brought all heat. Also sick of Irish culture causing problems in therapy. My old therapist said it looks like I've been influenced by it a lot even if I dont like it and I should look into it. Which I dont want to. But also I've had past therapists try to claim slagging is abusive?? Which no??? Yes insulting people can be abusive. But when done in a friendly sense of slagging it is not??? Some actual happy childhood memories were family activities where everyone was actually happy and that was done a little. My siblings and I would do that when playing. Its followed with laughter and often the other person throwing one back. Like sorry if you would get offended and hurt but thats not how we are? It is not how we understood the interaction? Or therapists almost concern that I joke and use humor with everything. Like yes. That is what I was taught to do. That is normal in what I grew up in. It is not a unique oddity to my illness. Deadpan humor does not equal issues expressing myself. It is just yet another thing normal in my family. It is an expression all to its own. And use of a lot of sarcasm in my family is normal! It can be used hurtfully but it also can just be a conversational thing. Its not indicative of anything except where they are from and what the culture is in the family! If a therapist thinks im using these things to avoid something I dont mind them addressing that but to tackle the thing itself as being odd is no. I really hope my new therapist doesn't do this. Ive been very careful to not show any humor so far and haven't mentioned my family hardly at all.