#even though she DIDN'T JEEZ INDIGO CHILL

[savvyjabby-blog]

Death Cast her Gaze upon the Wicked

WHo saId thEY waNtEd InDiGO JulIAn angst????????? HeRe YOu GoOo

Pain. Mind numbing pain. That’s the only sensation Indigo’s felt for the past few days. Every inch of her skin seared under an invisible ember, the slightest of movements setting ablaze a freshly ignited fire. Her limbs seemed disconnected to her every time she managed to peer at them through the glossy red film over her eyes, as if they’d been cut off, but still managed to dangle about.

Suffering through an onslaught of newborn wildfires along her neck, she managed to turn her head ever so slightly, catching sight of a shadowed figure, illuminated purely by a few waning candles here and there. The warm glow from the soft flames couldn’t relax the frenzied look plastered upon the paleing man’s face, his forehead slightly pink from the amount of clawing through his rich auburn hair he’s done. He mutters to himself under the fireside lights, scribbling down chicken scratch here and there, almost anywhere he could, a vain attempt at trying to figure out the problem at his fingertips. He could feel it, as though the answer was just under his fingertips, like he’s brushed by it before, like it’s-

A single, sputtering cough shatters the silence of the room, startling the doctor into a frozen state for a moment, as if he forgot he was apart of this world for a while. Indigo gingerly raises her shaking hand to her eyes, only to confirm that the crimson splatters smudged along her palm were indeed from her.

“So this is what mother felt like.”

The words were almost meant to be unheard, like a faint breeze had simply flown through the tiny brick cell for a moment. But the doctor’s eyes shot open wide at the few whispers of the ginger behind him, a wave of concern and sorrow washing over his chiseled features. The inkwell glued to his hand moments before tips over onto its side, black, inky liquid spilling over onto the doctor’s hands. But he makes no move to clean them, and instead grasps for Indigo’s hand, heat radiating off of every surface of her possible.

“Indigo…” Julian whispers, squeezing her hands softly,  the black ink smearing and running down her boiling hot fingers. “Just hang on. I’m going to find a cure, I swear, I’m almost there. It’s on the tip of my tongue…”

“Julian,” Indigo mouths, trying her absolute best to keep from letting out a cry of pain from the numbness, “it’s okay. Don’t worry about me, you’re gunna figure this out on your own.” Tears threaten to slip past her scarlet red eyes the longer she looks up into those grey mirrors of his, blinking them back with every ounce of strength she can muster.

“I’m going to heal you, I promise.”

And suddenly Indigo is looking down at a little ginger girl next to her bed,much too young to have her bright emerald eyes sparkling with a fresh set of tears. She clings to Indigo’s hand with a death grip, a slight black cloud emitting from her fingers, her voice echoing with Julian’s. “I’m going to heal you, I promise. I promise, Mother.”

And just like that, the tears flood from her eyes, cascading down her burning hot cheeks, a soft wail of pain escaping from her lips. “I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” She whispers to the two before her, both looking at her with such a deep sadness rooted behind their eyes.

Tears flow freely from Julian’s eyes now as well, the sight of Indigo so shattered, so broken, so vulnerable being all the reason he needs. He aches to console her, to try and take away all of the pain and suffering she’s been cursed with. But instead he has to endure watching her writhe and moan in pain, without the slightest idea of how to give her any sort of relief.

She calls out to him, barely being able to pull him from his own misery. She clenches her hand slightly between his,trying to find the right words to say. But is there really any words that are right, when you already know what’s to come?

“Julian, I… I’m taking myself to the Lazaret tomorrow.”

“What? You’re joking, you’ve got to be j-”

“I’m serious, Julian. I’m a lost cause, stop wasting your efforts on trying to save me, use your gifts to help others I-” She pauses, collecting herself from breaking down once more in front of him. “I, I’m okay with it. I’ve accepted my fate, I-I deserve this, after everything wrong I’ve done in my life.”

Julian cannot bear to hear these words fall from her lips, this isn’t the Indigo he knows, not the mischievous, goofy Indigo that he- well, he’s-

“Indigo, don’t say that, don’t just- don’t say that. I don’t know what you’ve managed to do in your past that makes you believe that you could ever possibly deserve th-”

“I killed my family, Julian.” She interjects quietly, the memories flashing through her mind at the mention of it. “That’s why my magic is so dark. Everything about the evil of the night, that’s what gifted me my magic.”

Julian stares in shock at the ginger before him, trying to comprehend anything of what she just confessed.

“That’s impossible. WHy can’t you just tell me what actually happened? It’s probably just a misunderstanding on-”

“No, Julian. I… I don’t want to burden you with my sins, I think it’s only right for me to take the to the grave, that way… that way they can die peacefully, in some aspect.”

Indigo refuses to meet those grey eyes now, she can feel the hatred for refusing to reveal her past to him weighing over the room. Julian opens his mouth to say something, but closes it every time he tries. Unsure of what to say, he turns back to his desk silently, promising Indigo that he will find a cure for her.

*******

Indigo gently presses her body against the solid wood door, careful not to wake Julian from his desk. She risks one last look at his sleeping figure, the ink from before smudged all along his forearms, his jawline, everywhere. His even breathing in his slumber casts a bittersweet frown across Indigo’s face, the realization of what she’s doing hitting her in the gut.

BUt hse can’t back out now, she refuses to allow those around her to suffer anymore because of her, she’s let that virus plague her for far too long.

Latching the door back into place, Indigo turns back to the eerie darkness of the operating room before her, a single, lanky figure hovering over her, their eyes a beady red under the torchlight, awaiting for her to speak the words to them.

“Valdemar, I’m ready.”