#evie and neil make me so sick. like

[alias-b]

sins of my youth. 011

Billy Hargrove x OC! Evie Fenny~ Also posted to my AO3

Summary: It was common knowledge that Billy Hargrove hated Hawkins. Hated Cherry Lane. Even loathed the strange girl next door. Evie Fenny wasn’t too fond of the chaotic Cali transfer either. An awful high school tradition sparks a chain of events that changes everything, ultimately bringing two frayed souls together.

A/N: Thank you all for being so patient with my writing. I'm branching back out slowly into my fics and hoping to keep posting them. The aftermath of Evie's attack and some needed love from friends. Billy taps into a darker part of his life to protect her and realizes what she's beginning to mean to him. TW: Abuse, mentions of past student/teacher relationship, Billy's anger. TAGLIST OPEN ! Chat with me if you have time. :)

Chapter 11: My Heart Burns There, Too

   Billy’s knuckles turned pink from the incessant pounding.

   A huff.

   Maybe Evie was standing him up.

   Something pricked his stomach. Told him to keep trying.

   “Evie!” He called. “I know you’re home…”

   Nothing. Behind him, a car had pulled up.

   “Billy?” Heather parked and got out. Fucking pretty boy in her passenger seat. He and Steve still weren’t chummy even after the revenge plot. 

   “What are you doing here, princess?”

   “Was gonna see if Evie wanted to hit the movies with us." Arms crossing, her hip cocked. Priss. "Something to do.”

   “You’re too late, I laid claim to Fenny tonight. She’s going out with me.” Billy knocked again. “Once I get her ass out here… Evie!”

   “Is she?” Heather eyed him closer and approached. “Is she even home?”

   “Think so.” Billy crept around the side of the house to her window. Knocked. Nothing.

   “Way to be a total creep.” Steve remarked, hands shoving into his pockets. Half amused at Billy’s persistence. 

   “I see a lump on her bed through the blinds. Curtain is cracked.” Billy huffed. “Hey, Evie!”

   “Something happened.” Heather’s eyes changed as Billy turned to see her. The expression made his pulse speed. “Evie did this after her dad left. Evie!” She knocked too. “Your friends are here!”

   “Okay, I’m breaking in.” Billy went around front. Felt about the windows with the other two behind him.

   “Whoa, wait a second, aren’t you-?”

   “Harrington, the neighbors here really don’t give a shit. They won’t call the cops for anything.” Billy looked elsewhere as he said that. “Believe me.”

   Steve watched him jiggle a window. 

   “Is it unlocked?” Heather came back up the steps. 

   “Yeah.” Billy yanked it up. Climbed in and shut it, went to open the front door. Steve groaned and followed them inside.

   “Evie.” Billy entered the bedroom. Blue jumped up to come climb his leg. “Even the damn cat is ready for our...date...thing.” He couldn’t think of a better word. One hand plucking the ball of fluff from his hip to push it at a confused Steve.

   Evie still didn't move to get up. Just breathed.

   “What’s going on?" Billy got tender. "Hey.” 

   He came to her first. Evie bundled and hidden upon her bed in the dim light while the sky grew darker. Heather trailed after with Steve in the doorway.

   “Go away.” A muffled croak followed. Heather sighed and sat down. Put her chin on Evie’s shoulder. Felt her friend go stiff.

   “Hey...we’d really like to see you. What happened, Evie? Please talk to me.” She sounded truly afraid. Hands peeled the comforter away. Evie hid herself into the pillow. Arms up to pull her hood further. Curls splayed in tufts of loose frizz

   “Evie, come on,” Billy climbed near her legs, “we’ll go outside if you just want to talk to Heather.”

   “I just wanted him to stop.” Evie’s fingers curled, voice cracking and glazed with tears. “I wanted it to stop. I didn’t mean to be so loud, I was just trying to make it stop.”

   “Wanted what to…?” Heather trailed off when Evie shot up. Hands braced and facing away still. Shaking. “You’re scaring me. Evie.” A gentle hand brought the hood back. Evie smoothed her curls and sniffled harder. Slowly, turned her head while a finger clicked her bedside lamp on. 

   Matching gasps followed.

   “Oh, my god! Who did this to you?” Heather sprang into action but Evie’s head fell to her chest. Arms cradled her. Soothing. “Hey, I got you. We’re here.” Sweet Heather teared up, not knowing what to do as Evie scrambled to cling to her and weep. Waves crashing distantly.

   “I tried to stop it. I did.” Evie crumbled there. Steve, the most confused, ran out and returned with a makeshift ice pack from the freezer. Wrapping it in a rag after dropping Blue on her desk.

   “She needs ice, here.” Steve joined Heather. Smoothed Evie’s hair, but she flinched. “Sorry.” He touched the ice to her right eye. Winced. Helped Heather calm her down because she was gasping at that point, near a panic attack.

   Billy went dead silent. Staring at Evie’s face with a hard, distant expression. Thought he might implode. Teeth crushed and one muscle in his jaw gave a twitch.

   Breathe.

   “Evie.” He pushed out smoother and licked his lips. “Did he do this to you?”

   “Who?” Heather turned. Billy ignored her.

   “Evie. Look at me." The tame order had her eyes shifting, laced in shame. "There you are. Good. Stay right here. You don’t have to speak. Just nod for me. Yes or no?”

   Billy was on his feet the second Evie gave him what he asked for. A single nod. She latched at Heather and cried harder as he went.

   “Where are you going?” Heather craned, but Billy stalked out with his keys in hand. Hard steps. Steve went after him on instinct.

   Evie just wept, out poured all the pent up emotion she bottled.

   “Honey, who did this?” Heather tried again.

   The door slammed.

   “F-Fredrick.” She burst out. 

   “Fr… Our teacher?”

   “I-I’ve been sleeping with him. I was so stupid, Heath. So damn stupid. I thought he loved me. For a while. I tried to stop it. I tried to stop him. He wouldn’t let me just go. I wanted it to stop. I’m sorry.”

   Pieces fell together. Why Evie closed off to her best friend.

   “Don’t be sorry, I got you. Lie down.” Heather just got into the bed with her, shoes kicking off. Let Evie sob into her chest while trying to ice her eye. “I’m here. You're not stupid, I got you.”

   Outside, Billy was getting into his car.

   “Man, what are you doing?” Steve shoved into the passenger side. “Who did that?”

   “Bowers.” Billy started the engine. Seeing all red and contained still. Eyes front. A mission. “Get the fuck out.”

   “Bowers? Our teacher, you mean they…” Steve connected some dots. “Oh, fuck.”

   “Get out of my car.”

   “No, I’m going with you.”

   Billy jerked the vehicle to speed off. Steve buckled himself in.

   “I think I know what street this guy is on, look for the orange Plymouth.” Billy barely stopped at a red light and continued on. Dead set. About to tear this damn town to shreds. Steve watched him grip the wheel. Knuckles paling.

   “What are you going to do?”

   “I’m gonna make him stop.” Billy skidded and saw it. “There you are, fucker.” He rolled up to the house. Steve scrambled to get out and follow him, looking around the empty neighborhood. 

   “Hey, man, you’re not going to…”

   “Just gonna make him stop.” Billy said again. Not really listening. He saw Evie in his mind again. Thought of his mother. Fists clenched before he smashed the doorbell.

   Fredrick cracked it open.

   “Mr. Har-” Two hands shoved forward into the house. Billy was noticeably shorter than Bowers, but the way he grabbed his already torn shirt and shoved him into the floor distracted from that.

   A punch sweltered. Burst knuckles red. Billy was hellbent. Ready to combust into flames. Steve turned and shut the door behind them.

   “Ack! What’s this about?” Fredrick slapped a hand to his nose. "Get out!"

   “You beat the shit out of her.” Billy stood over him. Dangerous.

   “I have no idea-”

   “I already know about you. She didn’t tell me either. Figured it out on my own, man, you’re not slick. You think those other burnouts you’re teaching won’t notice, too?” Billy crept up with determined steps. “Are you fucking any other kids?”

   “I-”

   “Yes or no!” Billy roared in his face. Steve stepped up behind him with huge eyes. Only able to watch. Fredrick about shit himself.

   “No...no.” He swallowed. “Are you…?”

   “Not gonna tell anyone. You and I, we’re going to forget this ever happened.” Billy undid his belt. Not even here anymore. “You’re going to learn a lesson, teach. Respect. Responsibility."

   "If you leave now-"

   "You take any pictures or videos of her? Tell me or I’ll tear this place apart finding them.”

   “N-No...never. She wouldn’t let me.”

   “You sick piece of shit.” It was Steve who voiced that before Billy could, although he looked nauseous.

   The belt slid out of its loops. Fredrick glowered at him. Clearly fearful. Not getting up.

   “You’re going to forget, Evangeline Fenny. Hear me? You’re going to pack up tonight and get the fuck out of town. Transfer. Don’t crawl back to your fucking wife. You’re going to hole yourself up and live your life and you’re not going to fuck anymore kids. Nod.”

   Slowly, Bowers obeyed.

   Billy looped the belt. Slashed it through the air. An ugly twack into Bower’s eye cracked. Steve wondered about stopping him, but didn’t. Barely flinched when he watched it happen. Billy snarled and hit the older man until he turned over to avoid it. Blood bursting from his nose still. Cowering like a bitch.

   “You’re not gonna see her!” Billy raged and descended down. Brutal slaps like the ones Neil dealt him and his mother. “You’re not gonna think about her! You’re not gonna touch her! Ever again! Fucking disappear!” 

   Billy kicked Bower’s in the ribs. Left him there gasping.

   “Okay, okay! Just don’t...ngh…please.” He whimpered. Billy, still baring his teeth, paused. Hit him a final time with the metal end. Vibrated so hard. Saw Neil there cowering when he blinked. Saw Neil also in the reflection of a fallen mirror that cracked.

   “Pack up tonight. Don’t make me do this again. No, goodbye. No, nothing. Just fuck off and never come back or I’ll fucking kill you. Hear me? I’ll kill you for what you did to her! She's dead and she's not coming back because of you!”

   His voice cracked. So hot, he might breathe smoke. Eyes watering.

   Steve was in front of Billy now, pushing him back into the door. Soothing.

   “Hey, man. We gotta go. He got the message. Let’s go…” Steve caught Billy's face and realized the boy was crying.

   “Don’t let me catch you in this town again.” Billy spat all the way out, skidding and intent on Bowers' beaten frame. Steve started yanking him back to the car.

   "Hey, Billy, I-"

   "Please." Billy sniffled to get a hold of himself. "Please, don't." Steve looked at him and did the only kindness Billy would allow. He peered aside to let the boy wipe his eyes.

   They nearly hit the mailbox screeching out. Back to Evie’s where they found Heather in the kitchen brewing some jasmine tea.

   “She told me everything.” Heather looked like she’d been crying too. Eyes fell to Billy’s knuckles as he did his belt again. “Can you go sit with her a bit? First aid kit is on the bed. She won’t let me…”

   Billy passed and Steve went into the kitchen. Evie sat at her desk now. Battered. Hoodie on the floor. Eyes unblinking and dry. Expressionless. A needle felting project in hand. Deftly stabbing a mass of grey wool into a shape. Billy stole a chair and got close, sat in it backwards and opened the kit on her desk.

   “You gonna let me take you to the hospital?”

   “No.”

   One exhale out his nose showed he didn’t approve. Doctors prodding was the last thing Evie needed. Especially with her eating habits.

   "You feel dizzy?"

   "No."

   “Let’s get you cleaned up, then. Don’t mean to brag, but I know my way around a first aid fit.”

   Evie kept stabbing. Coolly. Eyes flicked to his knuckles. Burnt red from the few punches he tossed between swipes of the belt. 

   She missed her project and pricked her thumb. Cringed to hiss before Billy snatched her hand. Pressed a cotton ball to let the bead of blood dry.

   Brown eyes lifted to his face. Almost dewy and angelic. No rage left while he brought her finger up to kiss the pad a few times. Lashes batting and fanned thick. So beautiful. Billy panned to focus on her now looking at him.

   He went through the kit and reached for her chin. Tilted Evie so he could clean up the dried blood on her brow and lip. She just watched Billy squint and study her in turn.

   “He’s not going to be a problem anymore.” Came a distant sigh. Something he never got to say to his mother. “You’re safe now.” Billy ruffled her curls. Felt gingerly for more damage. A small knot on the back of her skull. 

   “Can I have another ice pack?” Evie asked at last. She lifted her shirt to flash some nasty bruising on her ribs. Unashamed of her stomach that wasn’t flat. Billy got up to retrieve some at the same time Heather brought the tea in. 

   “Can we stay over tonight with you?” She sat down. “Steve and I can make a food run. Pick up lots of ice cream and just watch some TV together.” Fingers tucked a couple dark curls aside.

   “I’d like that.” Evie beamed a little. “I’m sorry.”

   “Why?” 

   “I didn’t tell you about him.”

   “You were scared. I get it. I’m not mad. You don’t have to hide things. Don't worry about it right now.” Heather swept down to embrace her friend. Evie peered at Steve and smiled. 

   “Bring it in, Steve.” She gestured so he gave them both a bear hug. “Thanks, guys.”

   “You gonna be okay for a bit with Billy?” Heather pulled out so Evie just nodded. Shoulders dropping as they left. Billy moved around them and came to offer the ice pack. She hissed, pressing it down with her project in the other hand.

   "I made Bourbon's face from felt a couple years ago. Figured I'd make one for Blue, too." She set it aside and avoided his stare for a moment. "They look worse than they are."

   "Liar." He said. "I'd know."

   Evie licked her lips. Frowned at the table.

   “Hey.” Billy spoke and Evie only sighed, eyes lifting to his fatigued expression.

   “Hi.”

   “Name’s Billy. Just moved here from Cali.” He continued, eyes rolling when she looked confused. “What I should have said when we met.”

   “Ah. Name’s Evangeline. Evie for short. Welcome to Indiana.” She sat back.

   “Evangeline.” He sounded out, smirking. “Is that a poem?”

   “Oh, yeah, a totally depressing one.” Evie chuckled there, wincing noticeably. Billy crossed his arms on her desk. Leaned forward.

   “Shame. That's a nice New Orleans twang you have.”

   She tried hard not to smile at that. One cheek sucked in.

   "Don't know what you mean."

   They studied each other again. Cheap colored lights around her room gave it a too pretty glow.

   “So, do you want to go out?” She asked out of the blue. Billy gaped a little. Processed what she said. Even got up to look around. “What?”

   “Just making sure you’re talking to me.” Billy peered outside. Sat down again to point at his chest. “You hit your head a little too hard or something?”

   “I bought a new shirt for you."

   "That sounds serious, Evie." He earned a push for that. Licked his lips to smile brighter.

   "And I just figured we could hang out later. While I don’t...look like this.” Evie tucked some hair aside.

   “You’re still…” Billy trailed off. Pretty. She blushed under all the discoloring. Tone shifting.

   “Did you hurt him bad?”

   “He can still walk.” A beat. “He’s gonna leave you alone. I made him stop. Hear me?” Billy had to keep saying it. He saved her. He stopped the monster. Evie welled at him. Actually touched his hand to squeeze it.

   “Can...Can you guys...maybe not leave me alone this week?” Evie plucked up some wool to twist it around. It wasn’t just Fredrick. She didn’t feel safe with her thoughts and all these sharp objects either.

   “Have I left you alone since New Years, Evie?” Billy cracked a grin that illuminated her expression. 

   “True.” She rubbed her head. In obvious pain.

   Billy got up again to go. Shifted through a medicine cabinet. Pills, liquid meds, vitamins, and more first aid necessities.

   A plastic container caught his eye. Full of push pins with red plastic toppers. Like cherry candies. Something that should’ve been in an office desk, not a teen’s bathroom. Strange.

   Billy pushed it aside. Filled a glass with water and plucked up some pills.

   “Hey, you should take something. Your head will thank you. Drink all the water.” He clicked the glass down. Eyes passed Evie to see the closer bookcase. Full of trinkets. Sparkling rocks and gemstones. Broken pieces of ceramic dancers from odd collectables. Pointing things. Keys. Neatly organized and lined up. 

   “Heather’s getting food, but I might...put my head down.” She drank and swallowed two pills. Scooped up Blue while she pawed at her ankle. Billy edged to leave. “Hey, you...” He came to full attention, turning. “You don’t have to leave…”

   Billy was in front of her lightning quick. Evie didn’t flinch when their eyes locked together. 

   “Yeah?”

   “I want you to stay.” Came the admission. Unafraid of him and his steel knuckles beginning to rust. Evie just stared without cringing. 

   Not even as his fingers trailed up her jawline. Gingerly over a bruise there. His thumb drew a gentle circle next to it. Such a contrast to Billy. So natural too.

   Evie let him observe her wounds. Finger pad tracing that swollen mouth to tip her chin. Lips touched her brow. A moon crescent trail of soft kisses. He pecked her jaw next. Then, found her lips for a vaguely rustic kiss.

   She tilted to open a little. Deepened in without regret. Fingers combed her messy curls back before he leaned out. Bright eyes glinting.

   “Our worst kiss yet.” Evie mused, Blue clutched to her torso.

   “Oh, yeah. Terrible.” He hitched, entertained. Evie searched him and let Blue crawl over her bed.

   “Gonna change into something comfier.” She waited until Billy gave her a moment. Evie pulled on a sports bra and color block print shirt with long sleeves that went almost to her knees. Fluffy blue socks were a must. She drank more water and poked her head out. “Coming?”

   Billy didn’t need to be told twice.

   “I’ll stay up. Wait for the others to get home.” He yawned as Evie got into bed. Fiddling with her sleeves.

   “Can you lie down with me for a bit? Just until I fall asleep. No pressure.” She perked when he unbuttoned his shirt. Kicked jeans aside and stood there in a white tank and briefs. Stunning without really trying. The metallic chain around his neck caught the moonlight before she shut the lamp off.

   “Scoot.” Billy slid in next to her. Blue wandered and got comfortable on a pillow above them. Evie had no qualms nestling into him. Tucking into his side where she felt safe between him and the wall. 

   Billy’s body warmed her instantly. The cologne and wash spirited her into a dream. Evie settled her head on his chest and shifted one loose arm over his hard frame. Flush with curves that fit into him perfectly.

   He tried to reason she was just scared and drained. Fingertips danced up her spine as Billy stared at the ceiling. Evie touched his wrist and got a better look at his knuckles. Kissed them better. Felt Billy’s chest sink and still.

   “Thank you...” Evie closed her eyes.

   No reply followed. Same as the night before, she let herself tumble and fall. Less shame this hour. Billy sniffled and exhaled. Tried to stay awake while Evie’s breath evened out.

   Heather found them upon returning. Pushed the door back to see Billy’s head tilted aside. Snoring. Evie burrowed into his torso with one arm draped over him. Steve smiled a little, eyes rolling.

   “Unbelievable.”

   “Let’s get this stuff in the fridge and set up camp in the living room.” Heather hushed him, closing the door to let them rest. 

   The hours rolled until Billy roused to some rustling at six in the morning.

   Bleary eyes cracked to an auroral outline. Evie perched on the floor at the end of the bed with the desk lamp pulled over. Couple notebooks spread out as she marked down some words and mimed them on her guitar. Mouthing to herself, barely making sound. Blue teetered across the papers to wriggle into her lap. Frizzy curls half piled atop her crown.

   Blue eyes trailed over the back of her bare neck. Thought about pushing his lips there and chided himself. Billy shifted and her head snapped. Quick hands set the guitar aside, back in its stand.

   “Sorry. I found a chorus at five and had to write it down before I…” She scribbled her lyrics and smacked a notebook shut. Billy rubbed his stomach and yawned. Heard her say something that stuck with him. “Sometimes I think I write songs like I don’t have any time left.”

   “Don’t stop on my account.” He paused as Evie rose. The lamp in her grip like an old candle. Bathing her face. Violet kisses around her poor reddened eye. Evie thought of a flickering candle stick too and how wax would look dripping down against his illuminated, marble skin.

   Noticing him staring, Evie clicked the light off and set it aside.

   For a moment, she stood there in the dark fiddling with her sleeves. Fingers pulled a scrunchie out and tossed it on the desk. Billy reclined to stare at the ceiling. 

   “It’s your bed.” He quipped so she crossed and crawled up between him and the wall again. Evie got very still and faced away.

   “One hour. The most lyrics I’ve sat down and punched out in...feels like months. It was always hard to get words out when I was dwelling on Fredrick. So much for fucking an English teacher. He liked it as a hobby and nothing more…”

   “He’s an asshole.”

   “He wasn’t always. Not to me. Maybe that’s twisted. He did help me...he did. Even if that was him trying to feed his own ego.”

   “Shouldn’t do this. Trip down memory lane will only sting.” Billy exhaled. “You might even like it.”

   Evie decided to hurt.

   “Sometimes I’d wrap my arms around him in the shower and sing little songs in his ear. He loved that shit.” Evie turned over to see Billy already looking in her direction. Barely there ounces of blue light glimmered from outside. “He gave me such lovely kisses. We used to joke a lot, back when it was fun. Dancing and wrestling around.”

   “You’re better off."

   “I know that, I wished I believed it though. In full. I don't love him. I know that. But, it's still hard not to feel something. I don't think he had a very good childhood and missed out on it."

   "Taking yours is no excuse." Billy got hard about that.

   "It’s not fair. To still…feel any kind of way about a person who hurts you. You can’t just turn it off and that’s…” Evie sniffed and sucked her cheeks in. “I don’t know how to live with that.”

   “You just do.” Billy rubbed his eyes with one hand. Drowsy and alert with her next to him. Both of them entombed in sweet amber.

   “He used to bring me gifts. Little things like what I collected. The antique looking brooches he found were my favorite. These little inklings that reminded me I was thought of. Desired. He bought me lacy things too. I still have Fredrick in a little box hidden in my top drawer. My gift wrapped naughty secret I used to love.” Evie scoffed at herself. “I don’t know what I’m saying.”

   “Clearly have words.” Billy sounded out in the dark. Seeming too wise for his youthful beauty. Gold curls slipping over silky pillows. Lashes batting as he turned to see the shine of her eyes. Evie settled in and gripped her own pillow, sighing out.

   “It was so innocent when it started. It really was. I don’t think he picked me, not until much later. Not until I was already his. He didn’t act on these...urges. Maybe I pushed him.” Her lip quivered.

   "You didn't."

   “We had these lingering after school talks that started to last the hour. One day there was an awful storm and I only had my bike. We both were soaked and he just smiled. He felt bad for keeping me. I remember the crack of thunder because it sent me into his arms. He only hugged me and I needed it so bad because sometimes you just need to be held.”

   Billy just listened well.

   “I don’t know why it does that to me. Scares me like I think I might die, I’m willing to brave bigger monsters to get away from it. Fredrick offered me a ride and we got into the car sopping wet. Dripping all down my lips and chin. He turned on the engine and...had this funny look, you know, like he knew I wasn’t supposed to be there with the rain dripping from my hair and cheeks.”

   “You weren’t.”

   “And he looked so beautiful. Never seen his hair a mess. I smiled. And he smiled. We laughed at it because we both felt it. And then he kissed me... Afterward, I asked him to fuck me and he said, no. Just drove me home.”

   Blue eyes studied Evie too close.

   “I started crying softly like a little baby. Asking what I did wrong...asking why he had to go and kiss me in the first place. God, it was so embarrassing. I was mortified.” Evie huffed to herself. “We didn’t look at each other for a week after that. I skipped his class because I was so upset and he found me in the library after school..."

   She paused to exhale.

   "...He couldn’t say anything like suddenly he was the nervous one. Just dropped a note down and practically raced for the hills. Named a motel, date, and time. And I showed up... He seemed surprised I did.”

   “And he…?”

   “No, we drove a ways away to some bar that didn’t card. Had a beer in this messy roadhouse. Got tipsy and I laughed at something silly and touched his knee. Fredrick said I made him hard and then when I didn’t believe it, he took my hand and pressed it… Fuck, I never wanted anyone that bad, you know? It was like no one thought about sex as much as I did.”

   “That’s just being a teen, Angel.” Billy's lip twitched and she nodded.

   “Yeah. We fell asleep holding each other. Didn’t have sex until the next week at his place. We had fun together and he used to read me to sleep every night we spent. Fredrick nurtured me and he fucked me so good. Being with him, I wanted the sun to stay up all day for the first time...and when it went down, I wasn’t afraid.”

   Her final sentiments shook his core apart.

   “And there was no other man to compete with him.” Evie said. “I was never going to win.”

   “I wanted to kill him, you know?” Billy trembled, fingers twisting the fabric of his shirt around. “Looked at him and saw my dad there and I thought… I felt powerful after. I would go back and finish the job right now if I could, Evie, I felt so fucking great while he cried. I wonder if that’s how my dad feels when he…”

   “You’re not Neil.”

   “No, but I might be worse. Didn't stop my dad, I just became him to cope. To understand it and I still...fuck, I still don't.”

   “I don’t think you’re worse.” 

   “You don’t know that, Evie.” Billy tried to be mean when he said it. Left her undaunted.

   “I do know you. Well enough now.” Evie let herself touch him. Billy shuddered when her fingers shifted over his tense fist.

   “I didn’t push you around cause I liked you. Guys don’t really do that. I hated you, Evie." He welled at her, eyes locking. "Just cause you saw things. Cause you’re strange. Cause you have a mother.”

   “I hated you, too.” She offered that lovely as can be. Billy sniffled and flashed a smile in the dark with watery eyes. Laid there staring into space as she studied him.

   "You wanna sing me something?" He'd asked in a strange tone. This inkling of reluctance.

   "Now?"

   "Yeah, something soft so we don't wake the house," Billy explained with the same hesitant armor over his flesh, "like a lullaby."

   "What do you want to hear?"

   "What's that song you're always humming in school?"

   "Oh, the Irma Thomas one." Evie swallowed to breathe and tucked into him, arms pulled to her chest. "You get a single verse."

   "That's enough," Billy turned to see her blush, "for now, Evangeline."

   "It's weird with you so close."

   "I'll shut my eyes." He let his lashes flutter. "You can just sing me to sleep." A beat of Evie shifting into him. Searching. She came up on her elbows and Billy stretched his arm out for her.

   "I know..." She took a moment to find her voice again. Smoothed it back out to silk. "I know to ever let you go. Oh, it's more than I could ever stand..."

   Billy's breath hitched when she lowered back into him. Head on his shoulder. Rich and gentle near his ear. Singing too sweetly, he vibrated.

   "Oh, but anyone," Evie touched his face to tuck some locks of hair aside, "who knows what love is..."

   She never finished. Billy kept his eyes shut. Stayed there reclined looking like Eros himself. Angelic and too beautiful to be apart of this world. Nestled on a pair of ethereal, feather wings. She imagined being Psyche and lying with him. Those glowy wings curling around them both for shelter.

   Evie pushed up further and caught Billy by surprise kissing him. Just a tender peck upon the cheek. Another at the corner of his lips. Blue eyes opened too late. The bliss of her moved away when his hand came up then dropped. Deciding not to push it.

   "How'd I do?"

   Billy could have said a number of things.

   About how her voice fills the edges around him and he's not afraid to succumb for the first time. About how she makes him feel things he hasn't in a long while. About how she's a swell of magnificent fire in this winter. About how being with Evie reminds him how much people can mean to each other. Even if it makes him upset, remembering; because it's so raw. He's willing to touch it again because of her glimmer.

   About how he wants to be a better version of himself and help Evie see herself as he does. About how she's burning and molten and neon and painted and free when she sings. And beautiful. And he wants more bad kisses. More of her. About how she's so much and she's absolutely enough and she deserves to feel that. To be still and burn with soft embers for once while the moon and stars twinkle kindly for her. About how there's a fire hiding behind her heart emitting a lovely glow that only he can see.

   About how his heart burns there, too.

   But, Billy turned to see Evie's glittering eyes and replied delicately.

   "Fine." He said, chest shuddering because it wasn't enough to capture her spark. Evie only beamed. Like maybe she felt the warmth of his flames even still.

   No more words could be spoken. Evie settled back into him and tried to resume her slumber. They felt Blue pawing to climb up and make her usual perch on the pillows. Billy stayed stiff as a board to allow her to fall. Felt the warmth on his face where her lips grazed. 

   That red hot kiss rocked him back under the water.

~~~~~~~~~

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