#excellent observational skills Val ten outa' ten | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gumm1defloor · 5 months

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Seriously this has been fucking me up for ages ever since the episode came out Valentino just what the fuck is this supposed to be I need to know if this means we're going to see his live performances in future seasons this is genuinely driving me senile:

We know this is not just a private photo shoot he has laying around in the building. This is an actual promo being displayed in the streets of hell for random pedestrians to ogle at (smack dab next to a separate advertisement of his own employee which is certainly a choice), so we know this event most certainly not an exclusive one and is marketed directly towards the masses in hell. Which begs the question:

What the hell is this meant to promote??? We know it's a live performance, and since it's Valentino we can safely asses that the performance is going to be somewhat sexual in nature. But that still does not give us an inkling as to what he'll be doing in said performance?? Is he singing? Dancing??? I assumed it's not the latter because I think his pose would presumably not be comfortably sitting (just what the hell is he sitting on that does not look like a chair) with his ass front facing the camera, hand on his thigh if it's that kind of show.

The poster also sort of implies he is going to be preforming whilst wearing his pimp outfit which just makes the whole thing even more confusing on top of everything else. the fact that he's sitting with his ass front facing the camera, hand on his thigh in his pimp outfit in the first place is already sending mildly mixed signals but maybe that's just me personally. Disregarding the possible theory that Valentino used to preform similar shows to this before he became an overlord, what is a show like this meant to accomplish exactly? Is it a celebration of the past? A way to recruit new followers? More audiences for his film products? Or a marketing strategy for the general image of the Vees themselves? And if so why is Valentino sitting with his ASS FRONT FACING-——

#unless of course all this speculation is still egregiously off kilter #and “live in pentagram city” just means that yes #the great and almighty overlord Valentino is #in fact #alive #in pentagram city #(you never fuckin know)#in that case well done sweety massage successfully delivered why yes you are alive & yes you are in pentagram city #excellent observational skills Val ten outa' ten #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel shitposts #hazbin hotel #this is the type of shit you use to sell cigarette packets in the 40's I genuinely do not know what the intended effect was

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