#fairly emotional rant so if I sound like I'm speaking a bit rashly that's why

[quakinqueer]

This is purely just a vent post, so do with it what you will.

Pls do not engage if all you want is to start some sort of argument, especially one in bad faith. I think we've had enough of those for a lifetime, and everything that needed to be said has been said

Rant under the cut.

Another day goes by without any sort of response, and with it another missed opportunity (stream day) to resolve things and do whats right passes. And on top of that, he apparently has a sponsored stream today?

I know, I know, contractual obligation and all that. But the thought of him coming back to socials for this obligation and then doing a full sponsored stream while still having not addressed anything or made any of the needed apologies (just the one to op rlly) leaves such a bad taste in my mouth. Am I being irrational? possibly.

I just. Truly, what is stopping him from just unblocking zayna, apologizing to her specifically for his behavior and the unwarranted backlash she received as a result of his own actions, and then continuing his break if he's not ready for more yet. What is stopping him?

There's one answer to this that honestly makes me incredibly upset just thinking about: He doesn't think he needs to. He hasn't comprehended that he was genuinely in the wrong every step of the way here. (not *every* step, but the unfortunate majority)

Surely he knows, right? Surely he's aware of where he went wrong. He's already had a couple days to reflect and examine things. Surely he's taken this time to think on the situation and his behaviour and why it may have warranted such a unanimously negative reaction, and come to face the reality of his position as a public figure and the responsibilities that come with his influence? Right? Right???

In case you couldn't tell this is just me being incredibly anxious over this whole thing, and beyond disappointed in damien for just how long it's taking him to say anything, let alone apologize to the one person who really deserves it. The longer it takes, the more I fear it will never happen. I know I'm being dramatic, I know. It's only been a few days. But the longer he lets this sit, the worse it looks for him.

I'm also aware there is the matter of his mental health to consider, which is extremely fair and an important factor, but to me doesn't necessarily excuse his lack of response (just like it never excused his initial actions, even if it explained them). Like I said, what's stopping him from making the necessary apology, then continuing his break? Really, the mental health thing for me just brings into question if he's really in the right state of mind for a sponsored stream. Like always, we'll see how it goes.

I'm genuinely praying to deities I don't even believe in that he says something. Anything. Ofcourse, an acknowledgment of guilt and a valid explanation for his behavior would be ideal, but at this point that feels like wishful thinking (pls tell me I'm being unreasonable in thinking that way, cause trust me I don't want to believe it). I mean it when I say that if he fails to ever address this the right way, my opinion of him might never recover. Let's just hope it doesn't come to that.