#fruit is so expensive esp this time of year but it's my daily Nice Thing

[rackartyg]

after a bad losing streak of my morning clementines being inedible (unripe, weird slime), i finally got a good one! it's my emotional support clementine now. me and The Good Clementine vs this lecture

[coldcrypt]

I'm marco, 26yo cis guy from UK. I got into weight loss because I wanted motivation to stop drinking around april 2022, and ended up bingeing and purging on avg 3 times a week for abt 6 months. I relapsed back into daily drinking (litre+ of vodka a day) and detoxed in hospital at the start of the year, but have been finding it really difficult to stop and stay stopped, so I'm back here. I've nearly died so many times recently from drinking and I just keep gaining/getting more and more swelling &bloating. If any alcoholics/bulimics have advice for someone who cant stop shovelling it in to get a sustainable deficit, I'd appreciate it a lot. My goal is to be safe about it, but I'm open to anything that works.

I'm experimenting with different methods of weight loss, sometimes fasting, sometimes rezzing, but am very inconsistent. I binge v often. This is not so much an accountability blog, more like recording what I've learnt and just venting. My bmi starting around may20th was 22 ish, was 5th june 20, 4th oct 22.5,and now 20.5 jan27th. Have to get it back to 20, but goal would be 18 with low body fat %. My main goal is to stop drinking and get healthier (thinner).

To do list:

get compression sleeves for running

Things that worked:

going to meetings make it much easier to abstain and think abt other things than food -> much easier rezzing

being distracted by things unrelated to food

having good food options for rezzing prepped, like boiled eggs, or having a solid stock of staples like steak, yoghurt, fruit and veg

not buying food that I will binge on, if I buy it, even if its not for me, I will eat it and get fat

taking longer routes/walking instead of getting train (energy, weather and mood permitting)

peppermint tea

keep it in the day. One day at a time really works, it just takes practise to get into mentally

supporting blood sugar throughout the day, especially if going out/socialising/towards the end of the day (when alc cravings pick up). This is best done with small amounts of carbs following a rly high protein 1st meal

Things that I was doing before but that didn't work out well:

taking K supplements (just eat s. potato for carb allowance, is filling too and has loads of K, stops palpitations when intermittent fasting)

pho, miso or gochujang as soup bases. They are too salty and lead to painful sluggish bloat.

Oyster sauce is not worth the cals

Diet sodas. Caffeine dependence builds really quickly and teeth need help

olive oil for sautéing vegetables. Pointless cals. Fats can come from lean meats like beef steak, eggs and occasional avo as well as omega3 supplements

fasting. At 18 hours I feel like I'm goin mental and at 22+ the palpitations make it uncomfortable to move around or do anything at all

strength training (esp core) at home without equipment. Dont enjoy it at all, not motivated at all

watching hours and hours a day of ED documentaries, scrolling ED tumblr, and watching hours of foodtube every day. Obsession -> binges

hard avoiding carbs. Leads to massive brain rot and feeling morbid. Can't do anything. Inevitable binges, usually alcohol, or 4000 cal of food.

sushi is not really worth it. White sushi rice is too sugary. Its usually a carb craving in disguise, or something to get on the go and is expensive.

weighing every morning just lead to trying to use caffeine as lax and more chaos on energy levels, or obsessing and not being distracted.

Press ups make my joints click a lot. Planking is really boring and doesnt feel rewarding.

Using sex for stim instead of food and cooking

Curious about:

feta, olives and cherry tomatoes for satiety.

Broccoli and mushrooms (annoying to prep or dont taste nice when boiled)

chicken sausages for cheap lean protein (think they can be a binge trigger or lead to mental scarcity feelings but not sure if worth)

ways to make cottage cheese not taste shit (cocoa powder is not cutting it)

cardio > strength training maybe. Runner's high > nothing from strength training (that I ever felt anyway).

Finding a way to enjoy strength training

yoga and stretching for stim

skipping breakfast has really mixed vibes. Can feel completely awful, but can also make rezzing much easier. Can also lead to binges in the evening (because there's unspent cals in the budget). Probably best to stick to eating breakfast but keeping it high protein and not eating right away when waking up.

Experiment with meds timings.

minced turkey or discount fish for lean protein variety

ways to make eating salad not miserable, cos it does work rly well for getting a deficit. (Maybe herbs and lemon and chickpeas? Make in bulk? Quinoa? Binge risk)

_____________

New plan from 4th Oct '23 can't be strict bc cant track exercise cals without a phone for looking at time spent walking and running so will need to do a gross-in instead of net- in quick basic (aspirational) plan:

1000 cal deficit/day for the next month -> 1500 gross in/day allowance

NO: baked beans, bone broth, oil, paté, pasta, alcohol, caffeine, quiche, cheese, instant snack food, pesto, chorizo, hummus, meal deal foods reason: too sugary or fatty for their worth in flavour. Cause binges every time when rezzing. Not filling enough. Caffeine leads to crashes and the pickmeup is usually food.

LESS: bread, onion, ketchup reason: can be useful carbs in a pinch, less likely to cause binges than above (because they are only accompanied with protein). Onion and ketchup help with mental scarcity and support good vibes

MORE: fruit, veg soup, sweet potato, tuna, s. noodles, fruit juice, avocado, egg, steak, quorn, butternut squash reason: sugar cravings need to be comboed with fibre addition, or fruit juice could be useful diluted for emergency alc cravings. Everything else is lean protein and should be frontloaded in the day. Sweet potato is there for potassium and low glycaemic index carbs. Avo and s. noodles are contentious bc of price and fat/nutritional value reasons

ALTERNATIVES TO EATING: gaming, reading, weighing, cleaning, brushing teeth, counting cals, weights, stretching, running, walking, meetings. mostly overeat because of boredom and to break monotony in free time or to stim. These are alternatives that work and also make rezzing easier in other ways.