#guess I'll put those yucky emotions away and go back to being yout stupid fucking court jester or whatever
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It is so insane to feel everyone getting sick of you. Like goddamn I'm sorry I'm going through what may be my worst year yet but you putting up with me is somehow equivalent to christ on the fucking cross all of a sudden.
#really just goes to show that ultimately people close to you may not care abt your mental health as soon as it starts to affect them#we can talk abt depression and burnout and exhaustion until the cows come home but the second you stop putting on a happy optimistic facade#no one gives a shit anymore and you should suck it up so you're not bothering others#which is crazy. cuz I try to keep my problems to myself. I internalize a lot of the anguish I feel on a daily basis so no one else has#to deal with it.#but I've had a really bad. really long. exhausting and excruciating few weeks. and then you tell me the one thing I've had to look forward#to isn't gonna happen bc of some stupid shit. like fine. whatever. the apathy is kicking in so I'll get over it faster.#but god forbid you sulk for a night.#god forbid you be sad and disappointed and stressed when literally everything in your life sucks at the moment.#guess I'll put those yucky emotions away and go back to being yout stupid fucking court jester or whatever#it's all rage now. can't use that one either tho.#they gotta do this shit on my one Saturday off this month too. god forbid I have one fucking day.
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