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I'm still on my Four Swords brainrot detour so you get to hear all about that today. Consider this my vote for you to read the book. I have the legendary copy, it was my big summer purchase last year (it's not that expensive, I'm just a broke college student) and I love it to pieces. I'm usually more into LU due to the fact that the FS fandom is pretty small and I'm not very active in it and my favorite artist is on hiatus. However. When the brainrot circles back around I am stuck in it for a while.
Anyway, it's the only LoZ game I've written anything for (except HW but that was a short bit about gender crises so it hardly counts).
I've taken inspiration from @zarvasace's series Shatterproof, and started working on a disability AU for FS out of pure indulgence.
Have I made basically any progress since I started it? No.
Has it been completely rotting my brain this past week? Yes.
The way I have it planned out is that I'm going to write a chapter for each of the Links, including Shadow, and one for Zelda. Each chapter is going to be a short story about their experiences with being disabled and how they feel about that. I'm supposed to be working on Green's chapter right now and I think it's maybe half done, but I'm contemplating taking it apart and picking at the pieces some more before I actually write the second half out.
The thing about Green is that he's kind of your generic Link. He's as close as you get to the original as far as personality and temperament go, so that's been my main issue thus far. He's just... really, really vanilla. Even his part of the story is kind of vanilla! He gets his death faked twice and he's not even the person doing the faking! He's just there as a driving force and it bugs me sometimes because he's like the FS version of the nameless "prince charming" and I could go off on a whole extra tangent but I should save that for when you've actually read the book.
The point is, he's not a character I easily get vibes from, so I've had to do a bunch of thinking and I came to the conclusion that he's going to be the one to be hit over the head with a work-related injury. Literally. He ends up with a bad head injury that impacts his ability to do a lot of things that knights need to be good at.
I haven't decided if he ends up keeping his job after he recovers or not, but he does have a lot of angst over that because he's a bit of a workaholic and spent most of his time working so that Red, Blue, Vio, and Shadow could focus on taking care of the house and each other. He considers himself to be the main breadwinner and then suddenly can't work because of his injury and has to wait and see if he'll be able to go back to work. There's going to be a whole thing about overcoming internalized ableism, and how even if you aren't ableist towards other people you can still be ableist towards yourself and it's a lot of work to build up the self-esteem necessary to stop that thought process.
I just love his chapter so much even though I'm probably going to use those themes throughout the entire work. There's just something about his part that really scratches the itch in my brain.
I have rough ideas planned out for Vio, Blue, and Red, but I'm not really sure what to do about Shadow and Zelda. Prior to finding out about your Warriors having blood sugar problems I was thinking about giving her diabetes or something similar, but I'm not really sure how much I can fudge in a fantasy setting without accidentally killing her. So I'm still at the drawing board for her.
Thank you for being my FS brainrot victim. :)
I gotta get the four swords legendary edition, I thought I had it but i dont 💔💔💔 I’m also a broke college student so i feel ya
GREEN ISNT EVEN THE ONE WHO FAKES HIS OWN DEATH TWICE ALSKSKDK?
ooooooh work related injury and overcoming internalized ableism, I’m so excited to read that!! (if you share it)
You could totally still give her a blood sugar issue if you wanted, it’d be cool to read about if you do decide to do that, but also anything else you come up with would be cool, all of this sounds awesome
THANK YOU FOR THE DAILY BRAINROT, TODAY WAS EXHAUSTING AND I DONT FEEL GREAT AND THIS LITERALLY CAME AT THE PERFECT TIME >:)
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Male! Robot lover
This takes place in the same universe as CWXH story, and I enjoyed making this robotic boy.
warning: sexual content, cussing
Female reader X Male monster
My life is simple enough, well, for a police officer anyways. I worked in the force for three years now, and so far I've seen everything a person should see. Today I was driving to the station as I saw a little boy and a helper robot escorting him. I don't mean this in a rude way, but seeing one of those robot's makes a cold sweat break out on my forehead. Ever since the daughter of a famous scientist got control of her father’s companies, she has banned cyborgs in being used in the military. It took everyone by surprise that the general of the United States Military was experimenting on his own soldiers, making hybrid killing machines. Thinking about it now, it still amaze me that a high official could get away for so long doing that to human beings. Luckily, three years ago the media outlets let us know that the general was sentenced to life in prison for his crimes. It took much effort of accepting cyborg life again, but the scientist cleared the name of their organization by promising to help the disabled only. Being a police officer in training at the time, I really looked up to the organization for how they stopped continuing wars with machinery. Unfortunately, this year has not been so kind to everyone. Some how other companies manage to make humanoid symbiotic robots for the first time. These thing aren't necessarily people, but robotic materials that are made to integrate with human flesh to their skeletal frames. Sadly, this has caused terrorist groups and other deviants to get hold of the technology causing crimes rate to escalate. We at the police department are surprised, and not happy either with these new symbiosis creations. Many gentleman in the police force who have received bad injuries from these robots, refused to have anything to do with robotic technology as its seen as a evil now. Not only them, but the public are afraid of losing their human side, and have started to discriminate robotic and cyborg beings alike. It a sad sight to see, but as a police officer personally I have no choice but to remain neutral. …
When I finally get to the parking lot, I see a colleague of mine waving his hand towards me. I try doing the same, but I feel the aching pain in my right arm run though my entire being. It hurts too much, so I try casually putting it down as I get out of the car. Not to long ago I got shot in the arm by one of those robots, which caused a muscle tendon to get ripped from my bone. It’s healing, but the doctor said I won't be able to use my right arm like I used to. They offered me a cyborg arm, but I declined repeatedly as it makes me nervous and also scared. I try my best to not think about it too much, but I know it will bug me another time. I enter the building, and register myself into the police system. “Good morning!’ the receptionist, Lola, greets me with a smile, and I nod back to wish her a good morning as well. Today, I was hoping to get some police files done before anything else, and walking down the hallway to my carrel seemed simple enough. Well not for me. A crowd of my coworkers were surrounding the middle of the hallway talking loudly. I try to shuffle around the mess, but because the hallway is so damn narrow, I could barely get my body to move without having an elbow jabbed into my side. annoyed, I tap on a female officer shoulder to get her attention. “What’s going on here?” I say wide eyed, thinking that this might be a possible emergency. The women though just rolls her eyes exaggeratedly and comes next to me saying, “We have a new police officer joining the force, and his a real keeper.” I stand back confused, and try looking over the crowd to see this new officer, but everyone is just too closed to one another to see anything. I let out a sigh, not believing everyone is getting so worked up for a rookie. Finally having enough of this, I try again to push forcefully into the crowd and walk around the ever growing mass of people. When i’m finally halfway around the officers, a hard jab hits into my right arm. This causes me to fall straight to the middle of the floor, and I cradle my already wounded arm to my chest. I feel the heat rise to my head, and i'm ready to punch someone. I get up gritting my teeth, and before I could fall back down from a person hitting the back of my head, I feel a strong arm around my waist hold me up. “Whoa, easy! Are you alright?” A man’s voice says, and I could barely react until I felt a hand slid under my chin. There, I see a young man who looks to be in his twenties, and is entirely made out of robotic parts. His wearing an officer uniform, and has his sleeves rolled up to show off his blue metallic arms. His face is also made out of the metallic material, but only his left side. His right side of his face is made out of skin, and his blue eye is normal, while his left eye is red without an iris. I felt uncomfortable from him staring at me for such a long time, and I removes his hands off my body. “I’m sorry officer, I forgot my place.” He smiles a crooked grin, and turns around to face the crowd with narrow eyes. “Alright, It was great to meet you all, but let's get back to work!” all the other officers stand erect by his deep commanding voice, but all mummer irritably. Yet just like that however, each person goes back to what they usually do in the department. I’m startled to see officers listen to a robot, but glad that they dispersed so I could get to my corral finally. I walk away but feel a cold hand touch my shoulder, and looking back I see the robot rubbing the back of his head. “I’m sorry about that, and also I’m the new recruit.” He laughs heartily and I just nod my head and continue to walk away from him before he could keep speaking. Yet, I hear a pair of feet walking right at my heels as I turn into my carrel. “Is there something you need, new recruit?” I say polity but sternly, already feeling the day drain me out from the aching pain going through my arm. He looks at me blankly for a second, but just backs away with apologetic eyes. “I'm sorry, it’s nothing, I just realize I didn’t introduce myself...my name is Lex.” He reaches out for my hand to shake it, and I grab it. “Nice to meet you Lex.” After that I say my farewell, and turn to sit in the chair. I go straight to work not wanting to waste anymore time. I see Lex walk to his desk out the corner of my eye, and realize I’m sitting right across from him. He gets straight to work on the computer, and I can tell the police department is going to be railed up by our new recruit being a robot. I try not to let that distract me, and continue with my day.
…
After a week or so of Lex being in the force, he got almost every female officer swooning for him. To say I saw this situation coming to the horizon would be like saying dinosaurs came back to life. I thought these officers had at least some more self control over their emotions, but being the only reasonable one in the building I guess not. This also just made some of the girls love crazed frenzy for Lax worse when they heard I was the one to be paired up with him. Some started to act colder to me, and even talk about petty shit behind my back, saying I was probably a man and just looked like a girl. I almost choked on my coffee more then once hearing such absurd commits, and I also had to hold back my laughter from the stupidity of it all. The people who didn’t find it funny though where mostly men of the police force. They been giving Lex the stink eye ever since he arrived, and I saw one of them trip Lex making him fall face first to the ground. They laughed of course, and the sheriff had to shut them up in order to calm down the tension between them and the rookie. It took some swearing and things but it died down eventually when the sheriff threaten to fire people. Lex and I even would be gone for the entire day, and that made most of the officers relieved. Were ordered to portal a quarantine area to make sure no dumb teenagers are vandalizing it. The place is located at the most run down parts in New York City, and we parked in front of a abandoned building. Its a hospital, and it corroding so fast that the owners don’t want a lawsuit on their hand if someone dies from exporting the abandoned ghost building. As I parked the vehicle, I let out a long sigh and kick back my legs on the dashboard. Lex is tense though, and seems to be on high alert ready to take someone down. “Hey Lex, relax. You don’t need to be so tense.” I say grinning at the newbie, thinking of myself in those days. “Ah, sorry..” he glances at me once but keeps his eyes focused on the building. It almost looks like his scanning the whole thing. What a minute… “Hey since your a robot do you have x-ray vision?” I ask now as erect as him, and he nods his head once. “Yeah, I do, but I don’t really like it.” “Why don’t you like it? I say with a hint of confusion, since he was built with that function to be a police robot anyway. “What I mean is..I don’t feel real with having functions like this.” I shallow, not sure how to respond to such an odd comment. I have heard that companies have made their robot by splicing human bodies to robotic skeleton, and even revived the dead by copying their brain neurons into a robot. This then makes me think possibly, that Lex was human once. I feel sadden my the thought. With little confidence, I decide to ask him a question. “Where you human once, Lex?” I almost instantly regret my words as I see his eye cast down to his lap. He looks hurt by my words, and I feel stupid for asking such a personal question. Yet before I could apologize, he looks up at me with a hint of amusement on his face now. “I’m surprised you were able to catch on so quickly, that’s impressive.” I blush a little from seeing him smirk, and from his eyes looking me up and down for a moment. To stop myself from being unprofessional, I turn my head away coughing into my fist while looking at the building once again. “I’m sorry officer Lex for asking questions of your personal life, but I hope we can continue on our duties now.” I say in my stern voice trying to sound professional, but I hear him chuckle at my sudden change of attitude. His laugh sounds cute I think to myself, and I feel a flutter in my stomach as he turn his head away while grinning. Why the hell am I acting like a schoolgirl now? I shudder away from the thoughts as we sit in the car with one another in silence.
...
Eventually as the time flies, Lex and I where done with our shift before we knew it as the station radioed us in. I drive us back to the place, clock myself in for the day, and get ready to head home. As I get to my car, I feel my heart skip a beat when I see Lex leaning on the side of it. Instead of wearing his uniform, his now wearing an black jacket, pants, and combat boots. When I think about it, he looks like a bad boy from the 90’s with how he holds himself up now. I roll my eyes however, not wanting to think of him like that. When I’m only two feet away from him, he looks up and smirks. He towers over me by three inches, and I feel like I’m going to swoon for him just like any girl does for a guy like this. “Good evening, officer.” He says, moving away from my car door and giving me space to open it. I nod my head in greetings, and fumble with my keys as I speak to him. “Do you need a ride home, Lex?” I say this turning to look at him and he shakes his head. “No, no I don’t need a ride, but I need to tell you something important.” I look at him again, and he rubs his hands together while looking nervous now. “I’m quitting as of today.” When he tells me the news, I feel my heart sink into my stomach. I literally freeze on the spot. Did I do this, did I make him want to leave or… I feel sick for a moment, but with a lot of effort I nod my head in understanding in his decision. “I’m sorry to hear that Lex, and I hope your gonna be okay.” as I open my car door, I start to feel tears actually sting the corner of my eyes. I barely knew Lex long enough, but I felt already heartbroken to see him go. I don’t know why, but I started to actually want to know him more, but now it seem like I never will... I sit down in my car seat, and I put my keys in the ignition, but I see Lex’s hand reach in and touch my cheek. He looks at me straight in the eyes, and he parts his lips as he stares at me. “I’m leaving, but I want to keep in contact with you.” He moves his hand away from my cheek, and steps back a little to fetch something out of his pocket. There, he pulls out a piece of paper and hands it to me. “Call me whenever you want, and don’t feel pressured or anything. You don’t have to accept it.” I look down at his handwriting to see his number, and when I look up I nod my head excessively. “Don’t worry, I will Lex.” I smile up at him, and with that he waves me off as I pull out of the parking lot. Driving home, I feel a few tears go down my cheek, and when I look at the paper again I smile at the name written on it. Lex.
…
After a couple of days of texting Lex back and forth on my breaks, we both set up a date to meet up. It’s on a Friday at the movie theaters, and I’m going to meet him their at five. I didn't tell anyone about me still talking to Lex, since most of the people here are glad his not here anymore. I was cornered though the other day by an officer who seems to especially hate Lex. His older than me, and has a lot of more experience on the field then many of the officers here. His eyes are hawk-like, and when he speaks it deep as thunder booming out in the horizon. “What happen to your partner, officer?” He ask me suspiciously, and I have to gulp down my fear to speak. “I’m afraid he has resign from his position, sir.” He lets out a sigh, and rubs his hand down his rough face. “I know that, but why did It leave? Is the thing defective or something?” Now, I have to control myself from not letting out a sigh from this man’s ignorance. With little politeness in my voice I say ruggedly, “No, I highly doubt that was the reason” and walk away so I don’t have to deal with him any longer. After that ordeal with the officer, I finished hours of Friday’s work load. Then I headed home to shower, get dressed, and put on some makeup. When I look into the mirror I saw the old me again, which was surprisingly not a bad thing. I’m wearing my red dress I had for ages and golden necklace I got from my now deceased grandmother. Looking back on those days, I was more relaxed as well as skinnier, which I hate to say I miss most. I wonder even how Lex could look at me as attractive after I acted somewhat cold to him. Maybe he likes girls that are bitchy. As I’m lost in thought though I hear a knock at my door, and when I walk over to open it, I see a tall man wearing a butler uniform staring back at me. “Hello, I suppose your Lex’s date tonight?” He says with a hint of surprise, and I notice a limousine behind the man too. “Hey Fred, play nice to my date please!” I see Lex run up from behind, and squeeze in between the side of the man to get to me. When I look at him now, I feel bashful at his appearance. His wearing a blue suit with a bow tie, and his face softens at me. “You look quite beautiful tonight.” He says happily, and he reaches his hand out to grab mine. I smile back tenderly, but also I’m very confused on what the hell is going on. “Umm...how did you know where I lived?” I say hesitantly, not sure I ever gave him my address before. Lex looks back at the butler with some irritation, and rolls his eyes. “Well Fred here..got your address from a friend, and also I kinda wanted to pick you up in a fancy car, love.” He walks me down the steps and opens the door wide for me to step in. The exterior of the car is red as well as the cushions, which gives it a soothing atmosphere. I sit quietly though, not wanting to get riled up by my racing thoughts of the situation. When we finally get to the movie theater, we realize quick that it probably not gonna work out. The crowd is unbearable as the reason being a popular new movie just came out tonight. I feel disappointed at the outcome right now, but I feel a arm hug my shoulder tight. I look up to see Lex face, and he shrugs his shoulders while looking into my eyes. “Don’t worry, I knew this might’ve happened anyhow.” With that we walk back to the limousine, and Lex says an order to Fred. “Hey Fred, drive us back home for tonight!” I hear the butler make a grunt noise, and we start off again on the road. Instead of being quite this time, I decided to ask Lex some questions. “So, I’m taking it that your rich?” I laugh a little at the thought, since Lex seems like the guy who lives in a apartment not a mansion. He nods his head however, while crosses his legs and leaning back into the seat. “Well, I took over my father’s company for a little while, but I’d never really wanted to since it wasn’t my dream job. You see, I wanted to be a police officer since I was little kid, but I had to pick one profession..” He grabs a glass for in a cup holder, and pours a little bit of wine for me as he continues with his story. “So at first, I picked police officer since I didn’t want to be sitting in a chair all day. It worked out for a little while until, well, I got hit by a truck driver.” I almost spit out my entire drink all over his face, but put a hand over my mouth before I could. “That’s what happened to you?!” He lets out a chuckle, but nods his head somberly while looking out the window. “Yep. Took my life nearly, but the doctors were able to remove my brain into a holding container so I could be transferred into this body.” Lex looks at his hand and wiggles his fingers as if to make sure their working properly. He then looks back up at me, giving me one of his charming smirks. I can see how he made some girls go wild for him, and I shove his arm playfully. “Taking that you must win every girl’s heart with a sad story like that.” I say halfheartedly, but know that was probably kinda mean. I try not to think absurd, and as we get to his house I know it’s too late to turn back.
…
We enter the living room, and I’m surprised to see food already laid out before me. Knowing though Lex can’t eat, it makes me feel kinda awkward to dine in front of him. We sit their though talking a while about his childhood, mine, and what our families are like and I’m surprised he lives here all by himself. His sitting an arms length away, and I keep having thoughts of touching him. Lex seems to read my mind as he reaches out to move a piece of hair away from my face, and looks me lovingly in the eyes. I feel like this is the moment I’ve been waiting for, and I can't resist because, well, how could I? His treated me better than most men, and it’s not like I didn't see this night turning sexual. If it was with Lex especially, I could tell I would like it. So with that, I close the distance between us and place my lips on his. Their cold as ice but feel so smooth against mine. He pulls away for a moment looking startled, but seems to know that I want him to keep going. He moves both his hands to my face and slowly presses his lips harder to mine, deepening the kiss to a make out. I move my hands down his back and scoot closer to him, letting him feel my body against his. He lets out a wimpier as my hand moves to his crotch, and I’m kinda startled to actually feel something bulging down there. “You didn’t let the doctors just transfer your brain, huh?” I say with a dark smirk, knowing full well I have control of the situation. Lex seems to enjoy me touching him however, as I move my hand down to unbutton his jacket. I see his metallic chest as I remove his jacket, and I work on getting his pant’s buckle off when he suddenly stops me. “Ah, not in here love, up stairs.” Before I could even get up to do so, Lex grabs me up by the waist and carries me up the stairs. I run my hands down his neck, feeling even more attracted to his strong frame as his arms lay me gently on the bed. Looking at his metallic body above me, I watch as he moves his mouth down my bare neck, gently biting it. Not wanting to wait any longer, I gently start to tug his pants down all the way to his ankles. He kicks his pants off the rest of the way, and starts working on my dress removing it off my body. As we’re both lying in our undergarment clothing now, he studies my body by running his fingers down my thighs and stomach. He looks up at me then, placing his head on mine. “Your so soft, and warm…” He whispers, and looking at him I see his eyes look heated with a longing. I move my lips on his metallic chest, stomach, and down to his crotch area, and before I can take his boxes off, I look up worriedly. “Is this alright..if I do this to you?” I keep my hands on each side of his hips, while I keep my head up high looking at him. He smirks at my comment, and runs his hand in my hair while grinning. “Yes love, it’s more than alright for you to do so.” With that, I pull his boxers down past his waist, and his dick practically pops up. As I study it for a moment, I see veins still circulating as it’s throbs with precum on the tip. I brush my thumb on the top, and slowly emerge the entire thing into my mouth. Tasting the cum, I also taste something metal as I lick and caress his dick in my mouth. Lex lets out a low moan, and rubs the side of my face as I increase my pace ever so slightly. Soon, I have him shoving me down on his shaft hard as his about to cum. “You..ahh, so- good..” he strains out his voice as his seeds spill inside my mouth, spilling down my chin. When I suck every drop from it, he lays their motionless rising his chest up and down. I let him recover for a few seconds, but then straddle his waist letting my folds get wetter. Lex doesn’t refuse me as I emerge myself on top of him, letting it cock hit all the way to my g-spot. I feel the pleasure instantly and I have to stop myself from doubling over. Lex rest his hands on my now shaking legs as I bounce on top and moan out loud my pleasure. Suddenly, he's the one thrusting inside me and I hold tight to his shoulders, not wanting him to stop. “Ah-ahhh, Lex.” Grunting out, I feel my insides start to tighten around him as I’m close to the edge. I don’t even realize I’m screaming out his name as my vision becomes white. Then just as quickly I feel his cum fill me up inside, and he grunts loudly as I tighten even more around him, not letting a single drop spill out. I sit on his shaft panting as I recover, and he pulls me down kisses me. moving off him, I lay spread out and keep kissing him not wanting to break the moment. “You…” He says breathlessly, and kisses my neck as he pulls me into his chest. “-Your so warms..” Lex says smirking, and I kiss him hard on the cheek for being so damn cute. “your too much fun, Lex.” I say warmly, and lay my head down on his solid arm feeling my mind drift off into a sleep. “Will you stay with me?” Lex says suddenly, and I flash my eyes wide open at his comment. “What do you mean..Lex?” Being confused by his comment, I try not to have high hopes that he actually wants me.. “What I mean is - is that I need you.” He says shakily, and when I look into his eyes I can see he genuinely means it. He wants me. “I want to get to know you more, but yes, I would like that.” I reply calmly, but internally I knew I hit the home run.
#monster love#robot boyfriend#monster x human#human/monster#exophilia#Female reader#male monster#interspecies romance#interspecies couple
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I’ve got to get this off my chest.
Y’all have heard by now that Jared was arrested for public intoxication and assault. Many are gushing support for Jared, making excuses for his behaviour (mental illness, stress, etc.) but I’m not going to. Why?
There is no excuse for his behaviour. There are, however, reasons that contributed to his behaviour.
By ‘inexcusable’ I mean he’s a grown man, already aware of how alcohol affects him, already cognizant of the stress in his life, already in treatment for his depression. If he was barely legal age and new to fame, money, and paparazzi then I’d excuse this as a one-off, a fuckup of mountainous proportions.
But, like I said, he’s a mature adult, so I don’t excuse him.
I do understand there may be evidence we haven’t seen and therefore there may be more to that video than meets the eye. All we know for sure is:
he was intoxicated
he pulled money (or something that looks like money) out of his pocket
he had another person in a headlock
Intoxication may be from a mixed source. He was at his bar, Stereotype, where he’s been known to hang out. He had been drinking. It’s also possible he ingested some other drug as well, but only a blood test will reveal that. We may never know. (some may even blame alcohol interfering with anti-depressant medication)
He pulled money out of his pocket. Why? Some say it was to bribe the police. Sure, I guess. It could also be he remembered to pay his tab and pulled money out to do so. We don’t know, because we don’t have a direct line to the inside of Jared’s mind. I know, from experience, that intoxication can muddle thoughts. He could have simply been counting his money because he remembered he should count his money. Drunk brains don’t function very well.
He had another person in a headlock. Was that violent? Yeah, it was. Even if he was goofing around, it was still violent. Props to Jared for letting go instead of squeezing tighter.
Police arrived and because arrest records are public we know he has two charges of assault and one of public drunkenness totaling $15,000. I don’t know how Austin’s court system works but I imagine Jared will pay the fine and be done with the whole thing.
But it begs the question: what caused this public display of inappropriate behaviour? What are those reasons I mentioned above?
Well, regardless of whether or not you’re a tinhat, Jared and Jensen are very close. They have a tight, unique relationship. One that’s about to change. Jared’s new show Walker, Texas Ranger was picked up (although it may be dropped now, time will tell) and Jensen is releasing a music album. They won’t be filming together, won’t spend nine months of the year together, won’t be around to catch all the day-to-day shit that couples/tight friends catch. They will be two separate people doing two separate things when they used to be two separate people doing the same thing. This adjustment will be difficult for both of them, probably in ways they haven’t yet realized.
Also, Jared’s fan interaction has been limited lately. He’s been spotted at sporting events and bars. Fans get their pics with him and report it online. But other than those two events, where is Jared spotted? Conventions and filming are his job so they don’t count. Events with his wife seem to be more for her blog than for any kind of couple time, therefore also work in my eyes. And maybe my dash isn’t as comprehensive as others in terms of Jared’s whereabouts, but each time a new pic popped up of Jared meeting fans in a bar I’d think, another bar? Another drinking night? It really did seem like the only pics of Jared without Jensen were of Jared drinking. I’m sure someone will point out how wrong I am, which is cool. My general feeling is that bar encounters outweigh others.
Sidebar: this has been bugging me for a while but I was reluctant to post anything about it. Jared drinks a lot, according to social media. It feels like there’s an awful lot of pics of Jared from bars when he’s not working. I’ve seen posts on my dash about how Jared looks happier when he’s out drinking with fans than he is with his wife. Or how Jared is hanging out at a bar while Jensen does *insert whatever event here*. Why? Why would a man who’s closing up on 40 be hanging out in a bar? Doesn’t he have friends to hang out with? Other activities to do? Um, children to parent? I’m sure he does all those things, but when I look at only his media I see a man who drinks a lot. Also, alcohol is a depressant. If you already have depression, alcohol will exacerbate the depression and the person’s thoughts will begin a downward spiral until alcohol is not imbibed. This is a slippery slope, and I’m genuinely hoping Jared sees his behaviour for the escalation that it is and to get that shit under control.
I’ve been here on Earth longer than J2, longer than Misha even, and I know that sometimes people make bad decisions. It happens. Mind altering substances assist in bad decisions. After all, the first part of the brain disabled by alcohol is the self-assessment part, so people usually think they’re just fine while drinking when they are, in fact, not fine at all.
But what’s really important here is how Jared behaves in the aftermath and when fans have forgotten this chink in his armour. If he continues to go out drinking when not working, he’s likely to repeat the bad behaviour or come up with whole new bad behaviours. If he slows down and remains sober around fans he’s less likely to repeat this event.
But that’s the key. The incident itself is regrettable and probably embarrassing for him. It’s how he behaves in the future that matters.
(ps - it’s almost like Jared wanted to be important again. He told a story about breaking up a fight recently, France maybe? I don’t remember. But he’s broken up fights before and boasted about it. He’s also been involved in fights where someone was insulting the person he was with. Like, in his drunken mind he thought he was being the hero but things went sideways. It’s interesting that this occurred right around the time Christian Kane was guest starring on Supernatural and Jensen was headlining yet another non-Supernatural event. Jared struggles with feeling like he’s not enough, I wonder if he felt inadequate somehow and it built up to the point of the incident this past Saturday night/Sunday morning. I’d love to know, but I understand I’ll never have that privileged access to his life.)
#Jared Padalecki#arrested#public drunkenness#assault#I hope he's okay#I hope he corrects his behaviour
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Hey. Ive got a heck load of problems and I really need some help. 1. I was raped multiple times by my first ever sexual partner four years ago and I still can't get over it. It effects my relationships to this day and I find it extremely hard to be vulnerable in a sexual space, it can bring flashbacks, horrible thoughts and I freak the hell out. Part 1 (will include this emoji sequence so you know its me 🐝 🌸)
(ask continued) ...I'm a mess. I'm a disabled adult who really struggles. I've been homeless since I was 16, and noone ever taught me how to do anything like cleaning, cooking, being tidy ect. Now I'm in a homeless hostel, and I'm expected to do all of these things, but I don't know how, and it's really upsetting and I'm struggling to ask for help. I don't know how to wash my clothes, so I haven't washed them since I got here. I feel awful but I don't know how to get help.
I have ODD, which makes it really difficult to socialise. I can't tell when someone's being nasty or not, and I'm scared to let myself retaliate just in case it's my brain playing tricks on me, so I get manipulated and pushed around really easily because I'm just so scared to do anything.
I'm terrified of deep conversations with my boyfriend. I'm scared that if I bring up the nasty stuff or ask about what he wants for us in the future, he's gonna leave me, and this means I can't talk to him about it. I can't even talk to him about things that bug me as I'm scared.
I cover up all my worries and fears and things with jokes and laughs, and Im really open about things so I don't have to be vulnerable. I'm scared that actually being sad about things and being worried and scared, people will use it to hurt me, so I'm really open about some stuff that wouldn't hurt me as much, so nobody suspects there's more underneath. Is this unhealthy? Thank you so much for listening to all this
Hi love,
Thank you for reaching out to Asking Jude. That’s a lot for one person to handle; it’s no wonder you feel overwhelmed. You’re incredibly strong for speaking out about this. I believe you, and it can be terrifying to share such an awful experience. While I cannot even begin to imagine the pain this experience must have caused you, there are trained professionals at RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) that can help you better. You can find them here: https://www.rainn.org/. It would help if you also tried to talk to people about how you’re feeling. You deserve to be supported, and your story deserves to be heard.
If this is still affecting your daily life, which it seems to from what you’ve said, you should reach out to a mental health professional. It would be best if you talked to a therapist about everything you’ve talked about here. You’ve been through so much, and you need to let someone help you through it. They will be able to help you with your ODD and your relationship troubles as well. Here are some resources where you can find free or low-cost services:
www. auntbertha.com
www.211.org
https://www.opencounseling.com/
I know you mentioned that you’re in a hostel, so these resources should assist you in getting the support that you deserve. As for you not being able to do your chores, that is ok. You’re scared, alone, and it makes sense that you don’t want to be vulnerable and ask people for help. I’m sure the people in charge of the hostel or anyone sharing the space with you will be happy to help you, and this could help you make some friends as well. However, if you don’t feel comfortable, here is a list of step-by-step instructions for most chores:
https://www.apartmenttherapy.com/housekeeping-basics-35-step-by-156566.
If you find that you would like more information, you could also check out http://wikihow.com/ or just search up your chore like washing clothes on YouTube for videos to follow along. I personally use YouTube videos to look up tips to fix my plumbing, cooking recipes, and more, so that is definitely a good resource to help you learn the basic chores without asking anyone for help.
As far as the last part of your question goes, yes, it is unhealthy to hide all your emotions. I’m afraid this is actually heightening your other problems and making them worse. Imagine a bottle of soda contains all your emotions and experiences. Whenever you bottle your emotions deep inside, the bottle is shaken vigorously, as your mind becomes a swirl of emotions. Eventually, not even a bottle cap or a cork will be able to contain it inside. Once you shake it enough times, the bottle will burst open and leave a mess. However, if you open the bottle once in a while to release the pressure, it will have a much more positive outcome. Our emotions are very similar to this. If you keep it all inside, you’ll end up harming both your mental and physical health in the long run. Therefore, you should let it out once in a while.
Talk to people. Talk to trained professionals, whether in person or through a hotline such as Crisis Text Line (Text “HOME” to 741-741). Write to us here at Asking Jude. Write in a journal—practice self-care. Listen to music, dance, go for a run; do whatever your heart desires. Do something, anything to relieve some of that pressure in your mind.
Any connection you make with people is supposed to provide you with some support and warmth, with the hope that you do the same for them. And this is especially true in a relationship. You should not be afraid to share your feelings with your boyfriend, but rather rely on him for support. Tell him everything that has happened to you and how it has impacted you, and maybe he’ll better understand how to love you and connect with you on a deeper level. And you should try to do the same for him.
Scientifically, sharing our feelings is viewed more positively than you would think. Researchers call it the “beautiful mess effect,” where vulnerability is actually seen as a strength and deepens relationships. People will see it as you trusting and believing in them enough to open up, and that does wonders for a relationship/friendship. If your relationship is not strong enough to handle the truth, then maybe it is better to get out early before you get even more hurt. Here are articles that explain this further:
https://www.theladders.com/career-advice/suppressing-your-emotions-can-be-incredibly-bad-for-your-health#:~:text=Hiding%20your%20feelings%20has%20a,%2C%E2%80%9D%20according%20to%20the%20research.
https://www.hcf.com.au/health-agenda/body-mind/mental-health/downsides-to-always-being-positive
Remember, you deserve to get support, and you deserve to live and love. You matter.
Wishing you all the best,
Manisha
Asking Jude needs YOUR help! Donate pocket change here and save our safe space.
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Because I haven’t written anything in days, and I am quite stuck, and I just wanted to write something, so it’s CC which means it’ll get lots of secret hits (I see y’all), but at the very least I’ll have written something. Fair warning, this fic involves someone with a slight hearing disability and I am not deaf, so if I’ve gotten something wrong, please tell me! Trigger warning for vague descriptions of violence, minor character death, and PTSD. Happy CC Friday! Tagging the crew. @mahstatins @phiralovesloki @thejollypirate @pritkins-little-witch @the-reason-to-sail-home
+ The last thing he hears with any degree of acceptable functionality is that of a high-pitched ringing, accompanied very briefly by the nauseating crunch of his own bones. That eerie, high-pitched echo had vibrated within the walls of his head as if he were a tuning fork. In an odd, dissociative moment he saw himself drawn in the image of a Saturday morning cartoon. His own body boldly outlined in black, the normally drab color of his uniform practically alive with bright, living color. The sound itself was not dissimilar to the many times he had foolishly stood far too close to the shit speakers at a punk show in someone’s grimy basement. And Robin, ever the reliable man, had always gleefully reminded him that he would never experience the joy of hearing at that frequency ever again.
“Who knows,” he’d say on a laugh, “maybe you’ll actually be able to sing on key now.”
Answering with a vulgar yell (because he couldn’t quite discern the volume of his own voice), “Get fucked, mate. Truly.”
Through the hazy double-vision he’d seen Robin’s smile for the last time. Had followed the thin river of blood as it sluggishly ran from the corner of his temples all the way down to the upturned corners of his lips. Pooling in the dry cracks of his flesh, disrupting the fine layer of dust that had settled on his features ever since they’d arrived. And who would be able to drunkenly lecture him about neglecting his own well-being now?
Not that it mattered. It’s not like he’d be able to hear it.
He’s stateside for about a year before he meets David Nolan, and it’s one of the harder years of his life—and of those there have been many. At 26, he’s lived through a far greater number of tragic circumstances than most men his age. Mother dead; father fled; brother with honorable intentions both resentful and overbearing. Liam’s still in England, working and living under the delusion that he’s not just as fucked up as Killian is. It’s for the best, they never did get along in close quarters.
Downside being, what with Robin gone and his own tendency toward the morose, he’d gotten a bit lonely. Which was where Sally came in. A lovely spotted lass with comically large, pointed ears, and dramatic, amber-colored eyes, she ended up being the perfect companion while lost in the throes of the dreaded “readjustment period.”
She also tugs rather rudely on her leash if he’s about to step in front of a bus. Good girl.
He doesn’t have total hearing loss, but he may as well have. He can’t quite tell if the almostness of the thing doesn’t actually make it far worse than just being completely without the ability to hear anything. Instead it’s more of this muffled, trapped in a washing machine kind of sound. And he’s not crazy about the hearing aid, so he often stubbornly goes without it.
He doesn’t know it yet, but it’s going to be one of those things Dave is incessantly bugging him about. It’s not as if he doesn’t know the man is right—he is, after all, annoyingly intelligent, but honestly the thing is just un-bloody-comfortable.
“Ya know what’s fun though?” he will inevitably always ask, “being able to hear the undeniably charming tenor of my voice.”
It is difficult at first, for Killian. Admitting that somehow, with the solid, warm weight of him against his back; that it’s the feeling of his voice, the thrumming of it traveling underneath his skin, that’s somehow better than the real thing.
They meet because of Sally, princess that she is. They meet because Killian, responsible for the death of his friend (no matter what Hopper says) and almost his dog, fails to see the bike barreling down the sidewalk and Sally, per her job description, leaps in front of it. A terrible beast, really.
He’s about halfway through a panic attack when he finally makes eye contact with the shockingly handsome man who’s come to his aid. Kneeling next to Sally, his lips moving but all Killian can hear is a hushed “wah, wah, wah,” kind of noise beneath the painful rushing of his own heart. But Sally’s not moving, just gazing at him with a kind of blank look on her face, and all he can do is feel some lost, long ago granules of sand trapped in the corners of his eyes—smell the iron in the air.
David has to yell, a deep “Hey!” that Killian only manages to catch the “—ey!” of. And that’s when he remembers that he’s not wearing his hearing aid and how’s this man supposed to know how fucking useless he is, and for God’s sake, will someone please save his dog?
“Sorry,” Killian manages to sputter between short, tight breaths. “I can’t,” he points to his ear, tries to swallow the thick mucus gathering at the back of his throat, “I can’t hear so well.”
The man’s hand is resting on his shoulder, so he can feel his voice, sort of. When his lips move he tries to re-focus his attention, and he’s trying to explain that he’s an animal doctor of some kind, that she’ll be fine, they just have to get her to his offices down the street. His lips are pink and distracting, and when Killian runs a relieved hand down his heated, sweaty face, he tries to ignore the heady scent of the man’s aftershave.
It’s all a bit of whirlwind after that, and he has to have a long, meandering discussion with Dr. Hopper about not moving too fast after a trauma. But honestly, his whole bloody life could be defined as a trauma, and it’s not moving too fast when you haven’t been happy in 26 years. Still, he has to be sure that he’s not about to be a burden on Dave’s otherwise uncomplicated existence.
“How could you say that?” he’d half spoken, half signed. His honorable, kind heart paired with that large, insatiable brain had resulted in his signage ability being almost better than Killian’s in a few short months, and Killian couldn’t help but feel as if he were waiting for the other shoe to drop. “To be expected,” Dr. Hopper had confirmed, “that would be the anxiety.” The shoe full of resentment and exhaustion, and not bloody worth it. What with the irreparably damaged cochlea and inconvenient panic attacks and not being able to ride around in a car without taking anti-anxiety medication—who in their right mind would stay?
“You’re not a burden,” David insisted, his eyes locked onto Killian’s, “You’d never be a burden.”
“How can you know that?” he answered, softer this time, adjusting to the silent quality of his own voice, his fingers clumsily forming the question.
“I just do,” he said slowly before pulling him into his arms. Killian couldn’t see his lips, or read the graceful movements of his hands, but he could feel it, the familiar vibrations of his voice. And he couldn’t know for certain, but it was brief, and rushed, and later that night he’d wonder if it was an, “I love you.”
It’s not easy. It’s never easy. Another year goes by and he still struggles with sleeping through the night, but at least there’s less nights like those. And when he does wake up, his heart racing, the silence somehow deafening, David is always there. The tangibility of him, the movement and presence and weight acting in perfect tandem against the absence of his voice.
When he occasionally succumbs to the nagging and uses the aid he can hear it with a bit more clarity, and while it is too soft to know for certain, it does have a fantastical prince-like quality, like someone asking for hankies as favors and riding up on a steed, which, “I guess you kind of did. That first time.”
But it’s nice to know he doesn’t especially need to hear it, to feel at ease with him. To feel as if he’s missing something when they’re together. And there are certain, unexpected blessings to the thing—to the lacking.
He’s attuned to the feel of him, without the noise to distract him, it’s the most tactile love he’s ever known. To feel his moan instead of hearing it, that’s an exceptional thing to know. To be cocooned in the warmth of him; the sweet, spicy smell without the distractions of the TV or traffic or whatever else pulls one’s attention in any given moment. And he’s lucky, isn’t he? He’s here when others, Robin, aren’t able to be, and maybe it’s infuriating at times, and maybe the world is a bit darker than it was before, but he might’ve not met him otherwise.
His fingers cast a flirtatious, “My knight in shining armor,” a flush rising in his cheeks, Sally’s nose bumping playfully against his knee. David’s head of golden hair falls back in silent laughter, and the world manages to brighten in the familiar quiet.
#ouat ff#cc ff#cc fanfic#cc drabble#captain charming friday#captain charming#cc: saved my life#@hencethewriter
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Modern Tribe: Quality Assurance (QA) Analyst
Headquarters: Minneapolis, Minnesota URL: https://tri.be/
The Opportunity
Modern Tribe’s QA team works on a lot of cool projects: over the past year alone, we’ve tested sites built by our dev team for big-name clients including Columbia Law School, Bon Appetit Magazine, Eventbright Academy Blog, Harvard Law School and What Should We Do (WSWD). (Want to see how we did? The links above highlight some of our work). And that’s not even including our family of WordPress plugins led by The Events Calendar.
We’ve got a slew of cool projects we are working on in 2018, and need another member for our QA team. If working on high-profile sites for large clients gets you excited and a serious case of attention to detail is your jam, we should talk.
Inclusion Statement
Modern Tribe is committed to a culture that embraces diversity and inclusion. We foster an environment of collaboration, open engagement, fairness and respect regardless of differences in age, race, disability, national origin, gender identity, religion, sexual orientation or veteran status. As a hybrid workspace ranging from distributed contractors to traditional employees, we value the unique perspectives and experiences of our global team.
We come from all walks of life. We are small business owners. We are tattoo aficionados and 80’s movie buffs and ex-pats. We are homeschool teachers. We are single parents. We are musicians, college drop-outs, and entrepreneurs. We are travelers, feminists, runners, volunteers, and makers. We are a Modern Tribe.
Everyday we strive to fulfill our motto: live well and do good work. We hope you will consider joining us.
Responsibilities
QA is responsible for ensuring all aspects of quality at Modern Tribe. It’s a tall order for sure: learning how a site works, creating test plans covering obscure use cases, and then putting it all into practice when testing every aspect of site functionality…it’s a lot of ground to cover. But we’ve got an established workflow down that helps make sure we’re setting the team up with the tools they need to proceed and succeed.
Though every project is different, here’s the gist of our QA flow:
KICKOFF MEETING. Just a kickoff — meet the PM; get your questions answered; set expectations; and schedule milestones.
PREPARING DOCS. Getting started with internal documentation early is hugely important to getting the project into your brain.
REVIEW APPROVED COMPS. Before you start QA or even get a walkthrough, you’ll review the comps to understand the project + prepare a list of questions to ask on the QA walkthrough.
QA WALKTHROUGH. Once development is far enough along for QA to begin, you’ll do a walkthrough with the lead developer to get an overview of the functionality.
PREPARE QA CHECKLIST + TEST PLAN. After seeing each component of the site in action, you’ll put together a first draft at a comprehensive QA checklist and a higher-level overview of what you’re planning to test, in what order, and when.
HEAVY DUTY TESTING. You’ll put the site through its paces and give it a few rounds of full pass bug hunting. Beyond just hitting buttons, you’ll be thinking from a higher level: are there usability concerns? Does what we’re doing here actually make sense as the best way to solve the problem? etc.
CELEBRATING A SUCCESSFUL LAUNCH. What feels better than kicking back after a successful launch? If QA has done their job, the project will launch smoothly, the team will have a finished product to show off, and — most importantly — the client will be happy. It doesn’t get much better than that.
* Our QA team also generally leads client training and prepares training documentation/videos when appropriate, so be prepared for some direct client communication.
Personal Competencies
Strong communication and/or experience working as part of a remote team
Self-motivated, detail-oriented, strong organizational skills, with a methodical approach to all tasks
Ability to prioritize workloads and meet deadlines
Ability to work independently with minimal oversight
Fluent English speaker
Required Knowledge & Experience
Has a proven track record in Quality Assurance.
Pays meticulous attention to detail + fights for the customer. Being able to catch bugs is huge, but it isn’t everything — QA is most effective when it puts itself in the customer or end user’s shoes.
Knows WordPress well, you’ll be expected to prove your familiarity with the platform.
Excellent verbal, non-verbal and written communication skills
Has 1+ year remote freelancing experience.
Additional Experience (Bonus Points)
Familiarity setting up local WordPress environments + cloning GIT repositories locally
Skills at training others how to admin complex WordPress sites/projects
Experience writing and implementing automated testing processes
Location
Work from anywhere in the US or Canada; if you are in Central or South America, let’s talk. This will be a 100% remote position. If your working hours are in a timezone outside of the US range, but you work 4+ hours of overlap each day our team might be able to consider your application.
Compensation
Our hourly rate for this gig starts at $25-$30/hr, depending on experience, with opportunities for rate bumps on annual review. This gig is about 10 -20 hours per week.
Perks
We believe in learning from each other and fostering personal growth. You can expect to learn a lot while working with us and we have a benefits package for full time employees.
(Also, if you work enough with us, we’ll bring you on the team trip.)
Who We Are
Modern Tribe, Inc. is a rapidly growing software & design company. We develop custom solutions for some of the world’s largest companies, government institutions and smaller growing organizations. We pride ourselves on our ability to bridge people and technology and to bring the passion and dedication of an entrepreneur to every project. Our team is composed of talented employees and freelancers around North & South America (and a smattering across the globe).
Who You Are
We love working with each other because we have built a culture that suits us well. We work primarily with freelancers and coordinate their talents for large projects. To be on our team, you must be:
HAPPY - Where there is a will, there is a way. Having a positive disposition allows us to achieve great things and to support each other.
HELPFUL - Always looking for ways that you can help others.
CURIOUS - It is essential that you have a passion for learning. Technology changes daily, and life has a way of constantly raising the bar.
ACCOUNTABLE - Our clients expect us to get the right thing done on budget and on time. Communicating expectations and meeting them is the cornerstone of success.
To apply: https://modern-tribe.breezy.hr/p/b481f0511faf-quality-assurance-qa--analyst?source=weworkremotely
from We Work Remotely: Remote jobs in design, programming, marketing and more https://ift.tt/2OsCyMu from Work From Home YouTuber Job Board Blog https://ift.tt/34tgt5P
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hmmm. my day didn’t start when my alarm went off. it started last night when i tried to go to bed.
about two hours into my sleeping period (maybe? i don’t have a clock where i can see it from the bed. it was a very long time.) i was laying there and i said to myself, “it seems i am still awake.” i wasn’t... experiencing any normal symptoms of anxiety? i wasn’t doing the racing thoughts thing, i guess i was having a little trouble breathing regularly which has been A Thing for a really long time...
like, entire life amount of time. it does keep me awake sometimes though because i have to struggle to do in-out in a non-erratic way.
i just wasn’t asleep. i don’t know why. i dozed off eventually because later i had memories that definitely weren’t real floating around in my head. i woke up again maybe around 4 or 4:30. so four hours of sleep? my arm was super itchy. i couldn’t sleep because of that. i dragged myself over to the bathroom and scrubbed my arm with a wet towel and that helped a little. i tried taking a look at it and i was worried i had been bitten by a bug or something, but it was just red from messing around with it for so long.
that kept me up for 30 or 40 minutes. then my alarm went off at 6:20. i whined at it but i got up. i didn’t feel like i was particularly behind in my schedule? i did everything i needed to do and had a few minutes to chat with asher. i wasn’t sure when the bus lines started. when i checked my phone i saw one was scheduled to arrive in five minutes so i headed to the stop, but it must have passed by several minutes earlier because the next bus didn’t show up for 10 minutes. so then i was running late.
i couldn’t find the disability resource center even though i had confirmed its location on the campus map yesterday. i wandered around with my cupcake trays for like 20 minutes. i was late for my appointment, but i did eventually find it... i don’t know how ANYONE could find it if they didn’t have a ton of patience or desperation though. and my manager said that a lot of people do miss their appointments because they get lost or too frustrated to keep looking and give up.
they have a lot of accommodations available though! i got my letters printed and carried my cupcakes over to the physics building. i didn’t offer any to the disability office, and i was bummed about that. i ended up needing all of them anyway though. well, “needing” as in they all got eaten well before i left the building.
no one was in the grad offices so i took one of my letters down to my new e&m professor. i was just going to drop it off since it pretty clearly outlines what my accommodations are and i told him if he had any questions he could email my manager.
i guess there’s a better word i could be using than manager but i don’t actually remember what it might be right now.
he said “no no, wait, we have to talk about this.” and i kind of side-eyed him, like he was going to ask for my diagnosis or something, which the resources center had made clear i didn’t need to share. and then he said something wild!
“i mean, just from how you looked, i could tell, but,”
i narrowed my eyes at him. i wish i’d been a little more obnoxious though. could tell what, sir? what could you tell? i wonder what gave it away. asher said i look perpetually worried. my english teacher in high school said the same. but there’s also other things. i fidget a lot, i don’t wear makeup. i don’t make much eye contact.
i wonder what, exactly, i looked like to him. because usually when people make judgment calls like that, it’s to say i look stupid. or “retarded,” as mother likes to put it.
like... there’s a lot of things that could “give it away.” i wonder which one it was.
anyway through gritted teeth i stood through another of his meandering lectures about protocol and set up an appointment to speak with him about it in more detail on tuesday. then i went to classical mechanics.
i talked to suzanne a little bit on the way there. she’d not slept much last night either. a lot less than me, but the same problem.
then when class started my brain shut off and i stopped recognizing things that were happening around me? like i could see something moving in front of me and white lines were showing up on the black-green expanse but i didn’t know what was going on. then five minutes later i kind of remembered where i was but the professor had already started erasing his first notes. i asked suzanne if i could borrow her notes later to copy. i did write down a few things i heard him say that he didn’t put on the board.
i felt really bad because he drew a diagram that did not make any sense at all and i got really hung up on it. and when i’d ask why the diagram was like that he would react as if i’d corrected his math when i was asking about the geometry and the proportions and what was actually happening there. i gave up by the end of class. keegan explained it to me a little better afterward. he borrowed my calculator and we talked with luis about cases where there might be more than one solution since the professor had spent some time on a proof that there could only be one solution. i dunno. normal stuff i guess.
i did a little better during the second period, quantum. i got everything down fine and i let both the other professors know that i had my letter to discuss on tuesday.
after that i gave some cupcakes out to non-ta grad students and then i brought my cupcakes into the lab and left them on the front table. that got more than half of them eaten. i was partnered with harrison today and we sat behind taylor and dazhi. i was talking to harrison about how basic mechanics was my favorite because i could always clearly see what was going on. he commented that sometimes quantum was easier because you could just do the math and it would work out and you didn’t HAVE to visualize what was going on. i joked that i felt more at ease when i could see everything and that matrices just didn’t have that physicality.
taylor turned around and explained matrices to me. he very slowly told me that i could think of matrices as a collection of numbers and two-dimensional matrices were 2x2, and three-dimensional would be 3x3, and so on for n dimensions. he continued about how to multiply matrices and how they interacted with basic quantum notational stuff. i put my chin in my fists and smiled at him. harrison looked baffled.
“why are you explaining matrices to us?” he finally asked.
“you asked about matrices,” he said, looking at me.
i frowned. “i was talking about how like a matrix would apply to my pencil,” i said. “like how do those numbers directly affect what is happening as it moves. i know what a matrix is. i’m not stupid.”
then harrison and i found out our computer wasn’t working so we moved our equipment to another table and i didn’t interact with anyone else until the pizza arrived. about 20 minutes after we got back from our little teaching story exchange i got extremely ill and had to leave harrison to fend for himself against the terrifying position-velocity box experiment.
i’m thinking pizza might be a non-option for me going forward.
i’m not stupid.
at the end of the experiment i mentioned i had a quiz in my e&m class and harrison panicked, thinking that the grad professor had done something sneaky. i told harrison i was in undergrad e&m now because i’m stupid. he said oh. i think he might have said some other things but i didn’t hear him very well.
the quiz was actually horrifying. it’s kind of funny... i had so much trouble with it, but when i was explaining what the quiz was about to suzanne later i told her i didn’t know how to integrate a function i should know, and then i immediately guessed what the right answer was just talking about it off the top of my head.
i’m thinking test anxiety is a real thing for me.
it didn’t help that i really wasn’t happy with that professor after our little disability adventure in his lab.
after that was over i summoned keegan and he kicked my ass at smash brothers some more. i almost won a few times. then another guy joined us and that was really fun because they were both really good at duels and i was much better at multiplayer. i have also gotten significantly better at melee over my 2 games with keegan. like this time i successfully prevented him from getting back on the stage once.
after that a whole bunch of us went to a bar right off campus. i had my first drink in like a year. over a year. i got pretty tipsy but i did only have one cocktail and then i stuck to water and pita bread and felt better real fast. we played pool and i accidentally smashed my finger against the edge of the table trying to make a shot and ripped the skin off the second knuckle. the bartender had to go get me a bandage.
i had my “test anxiety” conversation with suzanne while we were hanging out by the table, i was sipping my drink. her brother in law alex showed up and i talked to him a little too. i couldn’t hear him very well because he speaks quietly and not very clearly. i met some of the older grad students and we talked about arizona wildlife. ioannus showed us a picture of the first alligator he’s ever seen.
keegan was being very friendly with me. i am not sure what’s going on there. i asked him where his girlfriend was and he said he’d be going to dinner with her. but before he left he patted my shoulder a couple times. i jolted a little bit at the physical contact but it’s not like he came up behind me and also i was just chill enough that it didn’t matter as much.
i went home around 7:45. actually since i had had so much water and pita bread i felt pretty alert. about 2 minutes into my 25-minute walk home THE DELUGE began. so i walked in the rain. it was actually really nice. it woke me up, it was kinda warm (it got cold after i’d worked up a sweat carrying my full backpack and the two cupcake tins so i cooled off too), and it was just... nice. rain in arizona is usually sideways and lasts 15 minutes and then blows away. this was like standing in a good powerful shower.
when i got home i was soaked. i tore my shoes off and put them in the bathroom first thing and then i dumped my stuff on the floor and tried to space it all out so it could dry. all my electronics stayed pretty dry since my backpack is awesome. i got into some warm pajamas and blow-dried my hair to warm up. then i had a pretty quiet evening watching some youtube videos i’d bookmarked earlier and (half) a taz episode. i’ll have to do the other half tomorrow. now it’s 10:50. i should sleep or else tomorrow i’m going to be completely incoherent.
when i feel really bad about myself talking to suzanne sometimes feels like she’s kind of patronizing me. i noticed she does that around alex too a little bit. he seems ok with it. but it always rubs me the wrong way. so lately i’ve been trying to put a little more reciprocity into the relationship there and ask how she’s doing and do the cupcake thing and stuff. she seems pretty happy either way but i feel better about asking for help when i have already been contributing to... whatever. something. explaining some quantum to my classmate counts right?
i’m not stupid. i guess i look stupid. but i’m not.
i’m just... tired.
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Live. Pray. Heal.
The last four months have been a bit of a whirlwind and I’ve been kind of MIA recently with everything going on. For those that don’t know, I had right sided hearing loss gradually happen in January. I asked an ENT friend to look in my ear since I have a history of wax buildup that sounded (or lack of) exactly like that. He said I need to get in to see ENT officially since there was little wax. I finally got in to see ENT and found out I have right sensorineural hearing loss. They ordered an MRI to rule out an acoustic neuroma. Once the results came back, everyone panicked because it was abnormal, seeing areas of white ring enhancing lesions in multiple lobes of my brain. I was hospitalized in early April for 3 days to do a big workup. My symptoms were only the right hearing loss, and inability to move my eyes left that has been like that for 3-4 years.
Here’s what I wrote over the course of my hospital stay:
“Walking into an empty hospital room when you’re the patient, (always otherwise healthy) with tears gently streaming down your face because it is a weird site. I am used to being on the other side, taking care of patients.
Then the nervousness sets in. Neurology comes by within an hour and states I will need a lumbar puncture, tomorrow after 2pm since the attending is gone. After, I got so many sticks and blood drawn for tests and cultures and my IV placed. And I finally went to sleep, of course being woken up for vitals and then again for rounds.
The next day was the hardest day. There was more phlebotomy. Constant tests were being done, constant pokes for new labs that were added, and constant traveling down for various new imaging I haven’t before experienced. It started with a chest CT, then they needed a head CT angiogram, and also a pelvis CT to rule out metastasis. Then there were more lab draws, and it seemed like the tests just kept coming.
My spinal tap was finally getting done around 4:30 that afternoon. It was painful with lots of pressure, and not the most fun thing in the world. It was basically what I expected. I was grateful he got some CSF, and got enough. My tubes were a clear liquid, which is good news (I took a photo). And I had to lay flat for 2 hrs after the procedure to let it heal.
Oye. I have been knocked down and kicked around both mentally and emotionally already, but now including physically (and emotionally again). I want there to be an answer, but praying it is easily curable and not autoimmune or a tumor.”
I am now following up with my 6+ specialist doctors as an outpatient so I can still work. Neurology set me up to get high dose IV steroid infusions to fight the non-specific inflammation and see how I respond. That’s what they’ve narrowed it down to. They’ve ruled out some of the scarier processes like tumors or metastasis, infectious diseases like meningitis, and MS due to a lack of demyelination. I see rheumatology/immunology soon to see if it is autoimmune but there is no evidence of anything in my family so that may also be abnormal. We still don’t have answers except that it’s narrowed down to inflammation.
Anyhow, I’m currently sitting here at the infusion center getting my IV steroids and I can’t help but think of everything that has happened recently. After all, I’ve had at least 8 hours to do basically nothing but reflect on everything, pray, listen to Christian music, and write. So it’s no wonder I’m getting personal on y’all.
Everyone who knows me knows my happy, fun, and kind spirit. I am a people pleaser, and (for the most part) enjoy the company of others and meeting people. But these days I am not myself. I have struggled for the beginning of 2019 with hearing problems, health scares, identity issues, trying to find a job and mild depression believing things will look up at some point. All the while I am doing my job to the best of my ability and completing the grueling job of an OMFS intern when I have no idea what the next step in my life will be. I’ve been beaten down, kicked around, and some would say if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger. Well, currently I’m still wondering what is wrong with my health and with me, and if this will truly make me stronger.
Hearing is one of the 5 senses, and I would argue while all senses are important, it is, along with vision, one of the most important senses for defensive purposes and life in general. I am helpless just waiting while I have sensorineural hearing loss in my right ear for an unknown reason besides inflammation that fluctuates. I am overall healthy and have no extremely loud hobbies (guns, rock bands, etc). Some days are worse and some are better, but no matter what I still cannot hear as well as I can hear in my left ear. I constantly am asking Travis and coworkers, “what?” And I have so many thoughts about this. I wonder if this will affect my job, will it spread to other cranial nerves, will I have to be on disability, what about my loans? What about my future for a husband and kids? What if I can’t hear my children crying at night? And if you know me, you know how musical I am, will this continue, will I still be able to hear the beautiful sound of music? Will I have to learn sign language? But the general public does not speak in sign language. And I definitely have the adventure bug - can I even travel on an airplane anymore?
Not to mention my brain - what helps make me live, what helps make me who I am. They told me there’s something wrong?! I was absolutely flabbergasted, dumbfounded.
I have prayed and talked to doctors who tell me I am going about this in a healthy way. And I keep reminding myself He made the blind see and the deaf hear.
I felt as though I was in a dark, dark forest with no light at the end and unable to hear well so I am using my arms to feel my way toward an exit and praying it is the right one. I am scared.
I just pray that whoever is reading this does not take advantage of their senses, and their health, which is easy to do when everything works well. Things can change at any minute.
Sure, I didn’t match, again - my passion, my dream, I am heartbroken. Yes, I’m still looking for a job for 2 months from now. But all of that seems to fizzle and not mean as much when you’re told there’s abnormalities in your brain for an unknown reason.
When I was a little girl I had a pretty accurate vision of how I thought my life would turn out. I have made a lot of it happen so far. But things are still totally different than what I expected. I would’ve been married by now and planning to have children. I would be a successful doctor, with a good job and beginning to start my life and have the ability to travel. I also never imagined living outside of Michigan. Well all of that deserves a chuckle. It’s one thing to be goal-oriented and determined, like myself, but if there are other plans for you, then there is no point in fighting. What is meant to happen will happen.
Yep, when I am finally in a good place in this crazy life, I will definitely have one heck of a testimony. I just pray it comes sooner than later and I come out with all my senses and my health, and the wisdom that comes with all this. My purpose in life is not fulfilled and I must have a great purpose.
The Unknown. It’s a dark, scary state that is a capitalized state of purgatory. It’s what brings on worry and stress, and causes your mind to spiral downward into a never-ending abyss thinking and believing the worst. When in reality, it may be something minor, or it may actually be the worst. It’s the unknown.
No matter what the case is - it may be a disease or health condition, a job or time in your career. It may be your family (or lack of), a way of life, all of the above or something that was not mentioned. We all experience the situation of the unknown. It can be terrifying.
I’m writing this to share my experience, and to try to give us all hope. It’s this little thing called life, where we don’t have a crystal ball to tell the future, nor should we want one. We have good times, and we have bad. But others may say this unknown is a part of life and “fun” because we should experience the ride of life and not the end place. Which is all so true. But we need to have hope.
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” - Jeremiah 29:11
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Here’s Why I Don’t Let My Disability Get Me Down
Ever since I (admittedly) watched the Netflix series, 13 Reasons Why, I started to evaluate my life a bit. Side note: it was indeed not the smartest idea to watch the show’s second season while on vacation. Don’t ask me why I watched it then, because I honestly don’t know.
But, anyways, the show made me think of 13 reasons to want to live. My life is significantly influenced by my physical disability, cerebral palsy (CP for short).
Complications from my birth caused my CP. My mom suffered from an amniotic fluid embolism, which caused to seize during labor and ultimately killed her. Doctors performed a C-section to get me out of her. I didn’t receive enough oxygen during my first few minutes of life, which caused damaged to my brain. CP affects each person differently, and for me, it affects my motor skills, mobility, and speech. To be specific, I have spastic quad CP, which means it affects all four of my limbs. But, I have relatively good control of my limbs—the main issue is that my muscles and tendons get tight and stiff.
Most people with CP also have cognitive problems, but that’s not the case with me. I use a motorized chair for traveling long distances, although I can walk without any assistance or devices. There’s honestly nothing I can’t do; it just takes me a little more time than the average person.
When strangers look at me, most of them pity me. They believe that being in a wheelchair, especially as a young person, is the worst thing ever as if it’s a life sentence. However, often I pity them. CP allows me to see life from a different perspective, and it has taught me to appreciate the small things in life. I feel like I have a greater appreciation and love for life because of the life lessons CP teaches me on a daily basis.
Here are 13 reasons why I never, ever let my CP get me down…
1. Just like my race and gender, my disability is a part of my identity.
I honestly couldn’t imagine life without cerebral palsy. It is a facet of my identity that has shaped me into the person I am today. I don’t think I’d have as much drive, empathy, and appreciation as I do now if I hadn’t grown up with a disability. Just like I’ve gone through life as a female, an Asian-American, a daughter of immigrants, and a sister, living with a disability has shaped my life in the same way my other identities have. I would fundamentally not be the same person I am today if I didn’t have CP.
2. Having a disability often helps me find out who my real friends are relatively quick.
I’ve been learning this lesson ever since I was in middle school. Generally speaking, people are afraid of intolerable of difference. That’s why the various -isms exist (i.e., sexism, racism, ableism). And, I’ve been “friends,” loosely labeling, with people who ended up not accepting my disability and the hassles it comes with. So, from various experiences, I’ve developed a knack for recognizing the friends who are in it for the long run. I cannot adequately express my tremendous gratitude for my real friends who accept me as I am.
3. I am quicker to smile on a sunny day.
I’m not that much of an optimistic person, but I’m not that pessimistic either. I’m very much aware that anything can go wrong at any time. Life has thrown me many curveballs, but nothing will bring me down. I tend to hold onto things that bring me joy, like a sunny day, as long as possible and cherish every moment I have with them. I’m always aware of the fact that nothing stays good forever, so I try to live in the moment.
Image Credit: Nadia Naomi
4. I owe it to my birth-mom to live my best life.
Ultimately, my mother sacrificed her life for me, in the most literal sense. Instead of negatively associating my cerebral palsy to her death, I see the obstacles that I face as her way of teaching me valuable life lessons that no one else could teach me and keeping me grounded on my two left feet. I owe it to her to live the fullest life that I possibly can.
5. My CP gives me the freedom to use my creativity to the fullest.
The world, in its physicality, wasn’t made for people with physical disabilities. Even since the Americans with Disabilities Act passed, the country has been making progress in modifying more places to be accessible, but those improvements have been coming slow. So, often I need to think of creative ways to get myself and my chair to places. Also, I need to brainstorm different methods to do specific tasks, like tying my shoes and unscrewing a corkscrew.
6. I don’t take life for granted.
You probably can sense this by now. I cannot afford to take anything for granted. I am very much aware of the fact that my life is unpredictable, as it had been even at the time of my birth. My CP has not been progressive but like for anyone, bodies age. And, it has been known that for people with physical disabilities, bodies age at an exponentially faster rate than those of non-disabled people. So that’s why I’ve learned to appreciate the things I can do now.
7. I focus on my many abilities, not the ONE disability I have.
There’s nothing I absolutely cannot do. And I never understood the point of just focusing on my one disability. In fact, my CP is the aspect of my life that I think about the least. I do not let my CP define me or prevent me from doing anything I set my mind to undertake. I run 10-mile charity runs, bake and cook pretty good food, take care of my little sister, go grocery shopping, travel solo to new places, go on any and every rollercoaster, etc.
Image Credit: Dollar Photo Club
8. CP has made me fearless.
Some folks might equate my fearlessness to being an adrenaline junkie, but I genuinely love living on the edge. To be quite honest, living in NYC in a wheelchair isn’t the safest thing. I didn’t know that I could pop a wheelie with my wheelchair until I’ve gone through the streets of this city, where there are many potholes and cobblestones. But, over the years, I’ve learned a safer way to pop a wheelie. Since I’ve already bungee-jumped, next on my list is to go skydiving (okay, maybe I am an adrenaline junkie)!
If I were a fearful person, then I’d probably never go outside, especially since there are so many things that could go wrong. For example, I could be stranded on a subway platform because the elevator is out of service. However, by now I believe in my ability to get out of any situation that may come my way.
9. I make a lot of light-hearted jokes about the circumstances that CP puts me in.
I can walk independently without any assistance or walker. Since some people have no idea that I could walk, they are shocked when they see me out of my chair. It used to bug me that people treated it as if a miracle had happened when they saw me out of my chair for the first time. But, now I treat it as an inside joke; I go away with it. I also have a speech impediment, and some of my friends repeat the thing that they think I said, but they know it’s not what I said. For example, I’d say, “I love Reeses Pieces,” but a friend might hear it as “I love Ray’s penis.” And, then we laugh about how off she was. But, you need to be pretty close to me to do that without it seeming like you’re offending me.
10. My independence is the gift from life that I appreciate the most.
Over the years, independence became a big part of my identity and personhood. It reinforced the belief that I can do anything and everything I want — some things need little adjustments. As a teenager, I didn’t know that living in an NYC apartment alone with a legit career, let alone do everything for myself, was a possibility for me. At times, I need to do a reality check to make sure this is happening, and it’s not just a dream!
Image Credit: Nadia Naomi
11. My intellect often compensates for my lack of physical ability.
Not everyone has an Ivy League degree, let alone two Ivy League degrees. Ever since I was young, I genuinely liked school. Since I couldn’t play sports or move as freely as my peers could, I made school my game, and it was a game I was good at. My intellect and mind saw no limits, and I used the fact that studying and learning were easy for me, to my advantage. I became the first person in my family to earn a master’s degree.
12. I make people see my other characteristics before they see my wheelchair/disability.
The more you get to know me, the more it seems like my disability/wheelchair disappears. You get to see me as a human being, and not a “sick creature.” But, for starters, I put effort into my appearance and personality when I’m out and about. I’ve always had a thing for fashion, so I use that when I’m putting together my outfits. My style is an extension of my personality — bold, confident, and friendly. I want to demystify the notion that people with disabilities are sad/mad, pitiful, and a charity.
13. I have the knowledge and resources to make the world a better place for the next person who is in my shoes (or should I say ‘wheels’?).
I am aware that I am at a position of privilege, even as a woman of color with a disability. For starters, I am a natural-born citizen of America, a country that offers opportunities for people with disabilities. If I were born in my family’s motherland, South Korea, I probably would not have gotten this far in life. Also, two Ivy League degrees open doors to opportunities and networks that are not available to everyone. So, I want to use all the resources and skills I have to make the world more disability-friendly, both in terms of societal and physicality.
Original source: https://nygal.com/heres-why-i-dont-let-my-disability-get-me-down/
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For your reading pleasure, a selection of awful fucking quotes from CC’s latest *~masterpiece~*. That’s right, I read all 407 pages so you don’t have to! Unless you too are a complete masochist, in which case go nuts.
This is image heavy, fair warning. Some names have been slightly altered to protect the crazies who would read this and cry.
Audiences found the show’s campiness to be rather charming, its unique underdog spirit resonated with them, and a global phenomenon was born. Nice description of Glee there. Very original. Good work.
Pitying looks were cast upon the unfortunate souls without seats, as if they were third-class passengers on the Titanic. The death of 1500 people in the worst maritime disaster in history is not a funny or clever simile.
Luckily for him, these days Cash had a little help to take the edge off. He reached into his pocket and pulled out three large pills and two marijuana gummy bears. This is how the main character treats his anxiety. He takes this combo with whiskey. This apparently makes him ‘completely numb’.
He thought it was funny how there was hydrocodone, weed, and alcohol flowing through his veins at a work event but he wasn’t the biggest douchebag onstage. Except he really, really is. Funnily enough people on drugs aren’t the best judge of character.
If he responded with something they didn’t like, his social media would be bombarded with pictures, videos, and GIFs of decapitated animals, human feces, and militants destroying priceless artifacts.
“Olá, fucktards,” Davi said—his use of American slang was a work in progress. What. This character is brazilian, and he swears constantly. Those are his only character traits.
“That’s incredible, Huda,” Mo said. “If only diplomacy worked as efficiently as a fandom, there would never be war again.” I’m fucking dying.
“Young lady,” the psychologist said. “I have studied the human mind for more than four decades. I understand the appeal of joining the transgender community, but I promise you, the transgender movement is nothing short of a trend for nonconformists. In fact, it is still considered a mental illness by the World Health Organization.” Sorry, what appeal? What even is this nonsense? Why does it go on for five pages? Why the need to unnecessarily torture the trans character with this when it makes no difference to his storyline? Why?
Mo had suffered from OID (overactive imagination disorder) since childhood. The condition wasn’t officially recognized by the United States Department of Health (because Mo had made it up) but the disorder was just as taxing and consuming as any. From the entire community of people with mental illness: Fuck you CC. Fuck you for this awful, awful thing. Kindly go fuck yourself for pretending you have any understanding of what a mental illness is like to live with. Ugh.
A very good-looking man in his early twenties. He wore thick sunglasses, a black leather jacket, dark jeans, and designer boots. Yes, this is how ‘Cash’ is described. He’s also been previously described as a total mess who hasn’t showered in days, so I’m not totally convinced it’s accurate.
“I’m T0pher C0llins. It is such a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Carter.” T0pher C0llins? Are you fucking shitting me?
“I walked into my bedroom and saw Peaches had taken a huge dump in the middle of my bed, so I had to clean it up and put my comforter in the washer.” This is said by the only girl in the group, in front of ‘Cash’, who she idolises. Because girls are just stupid fucking blabbermouths right?
“-it’s getting asked advice on how to break into the industry from the guy taking a dump in the stall next to you” Oh look, another thing that has never, ever happened.
“You gotta say that shit so no one labels you as a future has-been—that’ll kill a career. Even if it’s obvious you’ll never do anything but the show you’re on, you can’t admit it.” The first honest and realistic thing in this book, and it only took till chapter seven!
“Every time I get any recognition he writes me into a coma or puts me through something horrendous as punishment. After I was on the cover of TV Guide, he put a dangerous stunt into a script and it broke my ankle. After I won a People’s Choice Award, he put my character in a coma for twelve episodes. The list goes on.” I wonder how Ryan Murphy will react when he hears about this character who is so clearly him?
“Nothing is stranger than fanfiction,” Cash said, like a sailor recalling his encounter with a horrible sea creature. THIS ENTIRE BOOK IS REAL LIFE FANFICTION YOU HYPOCRITICAL ASSHOLE.
“He’s a little jaded, I’ll give you that—but after all the joy he’s given us over the years, the least we can do is let him be a human being. ” Yes, let the straight white cis male tell you all how to think, feel, and act. Your hero isn’t a douche, he’s misunderstood. Let him treat you like shit because who else gets that experience?
The world’s biggest rubber-band ball bounced into the horizon like a deer recently freed from captivity. Chapter nine: ‘Cash’ destroys a national landmark for shits and giggles.
The actor excitedly passed out tickets to Topher, Joey, Sam, and the Sacagawea statue—mistaking it for Mo. He’s also a racist. Are we surprised?
Why is he dancing like an epileptic on roller skates? Aaaaand a joke about epilepsy. I’m sure Hannah loves it.
“What did you do? How did you get over it?” Joey said. “One day I woke up and decided I had had enough.” ‘Cash’ cures his crippling agoraphobia by just going outside. Again, fuck you CC. That is not how mental illness works. Do two seconds of research for fucks sake.
“The night we were all watching the season six finale of Wiz Kids at Joey’s house, I was actually supposed to be watching Billy while my mom was at a Bunco party. I gave him some cold medicine so he would sleep and ran home to check on him every commercial break.” Drug your disabled siblings, your friends will think you’re cool and laugh about instead of telling you that you’re an awful fucking person. Which you are.
“Then one day, as I was posting a GIF of a decapitated giraffe on her profile, I learned WizKidLiz01 was a little girl with Down syndrome.” Also on the list of things that make you an awful fucking person… plagiarism or no, don’t do this shit.
“So what’s your real name?” Topher asked. “Now, that you’re not going to believe,” Cash said. “It’s Tom Hanks.”
“They were the most eccentric group of stoners Cash had ever seen and he couldn’t take his eyes off them, like they were the subjects of a fascinating nature documentary.” One character is literally screaming her head off with paranoia and scratching invisible bugs in her skin, but hey, watching teenagers on a drug trip is so interesting!
“I think you’re giving him too much credit,” Cash said. “He’ll be long gone by then.” Oh yeah, ‘Cash’ is extremely preoccupied with death. He frequently says shit like this alluding to it. No-one notices.
“Because if you don’t, I’m going to tell the fangirls about the treatment we’ve received today and unleash them upon your establishment like a plague of locusts! They’ll harass you, humiliate you, and chase your wrinkled, old, racist ass into hiding for the rest of your miserable existence! Do I make myself clear?” Um… what? Why would you even?
“Of course the brakes worked, I was just fucking with you,” Cash said. ‘Cash’ continues to be the absolute worst by making someone think she’s going to die. Of course, she somehow she also doesn’t know that James Dean died in a car accident. Sigh.
“But I think we’d know it if he was mentally unbalanced or an addict of some kind.” YOU ARE EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD AND YOU ARE A COMPLETE IDIOT. YOU LITERALLY JUST DESCRIBED ‘CASH’.
“You lose the right to humanity when you become famous. It’s just the way it is, but I’m not going to whine about it.” Except in this entire book.
“I’m transgender!” Sam declared. “I know what it’s like to have everyone treat you like something you’re not because people have been doing it to me my whole life. I’ve never met someone who could relate—but it’s like everything you just said! We’re both trapped! We’re both prisoners of unfair expectations!” These! things! are! not! comparable! Mostly because ‘Cash’ could leave that life any time, Sam won’t ever stop having to deal with being trans. Shut the fuck up CC. Sam then spends waaaay too much time explaining gender and sexual identity to ‘Cash’ because he’s a complete moron.
Darla spoke with the energy and enthusiasm of a camp counselor on crystal meth. How is this joke in any way appropriate when the main character is clearly a raging drug addict? He’s literally constantly tweaking.
The others stared at Cash in disbelief. It was like a demon living inside of him had taken the reins. Watch as these people we’re supposed to believe all got into prestigious colleges like Colombia and MIT completely fail to recognise the signs of an addict going through withdrawal.
They had never in their lives felt more exposed, more violated, or more gutted. It was as if someone had ripped off all their clothes and chucked their hearts into the depths of the Grand Canyon. ‘Cash’ is so self-obsessed and full of self-pity he decides to out two people in the group and tell another she’s wasting her life just to make them all feel as awful as he does. What a delightful person huh?
“Joey, I have always wanted a gay best friend. I’m not mad because you hid your orientation from me; I’m just upset because of all the Will & Grace opportunities we’ve missed out on.” ARE YOU SHITTING ME?
He was staring at Topher with a weak smile and his eyes were opened just barely enough to see. He clearly knew who Topher was, but Topher couldn’t place him.
“I have glioblastoma,” Cash said. “That’s a fancy stage name for brain cancer.”
I was fine and could easily hide this until a few days ago, but now I’m so weak and frail you don’t even recognise me. Usually Glioblastoma on the brain stem causes symptoms like seizures, confusion, paralysis, vomiting, dizziness, and loss of basic functions, but I’m a special snowflake and get to stay able-bodied and cognisant until the end!
“In April I started getting these really bad migraines,” Cash explained. “A doctor came to the set and recommended I get a scan. We were behind in production so the producers wouldn’t give me time off to get it done.” It’s all Hollywood’s fault he’s dying! Not his for not getting any fucking treatment. And actors can and do take days off for health reasons, that shit is totally allowed.
“Holy shit,” Topher said. “These are all mine.… You’ve saved every letter I ever wrote to you.…” That’s not totally fucking creepy at all, ‘Cash’.
“He’s not a bad person—he’s got brain cancer! That’s why he’s been behaving the way he has!” That makes everything okay! Except not really. Cancer doesn’t give you a free pass to be an asshole. You aren’t making the most of what life you have left, you’re just being a shithead.
“The actor had had so little control over his life, but his death was exactly how he wanted it to be.” Yes, he dies five days later. No-one wondered about his odd behaviour or suspected he might be sick until they visited him in a hospice. These people must be so stupid they can barely function for this to make sense. He’s been dying for months and nobody at all noticed? Bullshit.
“Oh gosh, I’m so nervous to hear how it went! I practically feel like I came out as transgender, too!” NO MORE.
“Not to be a downer, but did anyone watch the footage from Cash’s funeral today?” Mo asked. “Why did they wait a whole month to have it?” Topher asked. “Because it was sponsored by Canon and their new camera comes out this week,” Mo said.
I don’t think companies generally sponsor funerals? Let’s just hope it wasn’t an open casket, that shit would be nasty after a month.
“Fuck off, I’m banging Marilyn Monroe.” No, god no. Please no. Just end this thing now please.
The aspiring writer felt like she and her friends were living a ridiculous happy ending straight from the final page of one of her outlandish stories. Uh…
And a bonus from the author’s note:
However, for the purpose of good storytelling, the characters’ opinions and choices are sometimes flawed. Please do not view their actions as generalizations or examples to follow, but as the mistakes and triumphs of individuals. All of my characters were awful and/or treated like shit by everyone else, but that’s for the sake of the story. It’s not my fault if you act this way and everyone hates you! (And still love me please god I’m so alone...)
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(SF) Architect of Anguish
TL;DR A scientist scrambles to undue the damage caused by an experiment spiraling out of control.
Sat in a dark, warm cubbyhole Professor Feebowitz vigorously clacks the keys to his computer. The only source of light, a green glow, emanating from his bulky square monitor. With string of code dancing to the metronomic typing, ashes from a lit cigarette wedged between his fingers drizzle over the keyboard. An awakening buh-doop sounding from his speakers.
"Progress Update." A monotonous female voice requests. Which does little to draw his baggy eyes from the flickering screen. "Despite your inability to understand time or limits you should know that you can't rush greatness." He sarcastically rebuts, attempting to finish the string in his head. "I understand that sir but you also know I could create that code in a fraction of the time."
That grabs his full attention, as he runs all ten of his arthritic fingers through his hair with a exhaustive lean in his chair. Scratching around the metallic port at the base of his skull. "Of course you could, but I rather you not." As a beat goes past her rhythmic response time he prods, "what?" "I would say sir, but you told me to never to question your judgment." A frustrated laugh struggles through his gently sigh. "Override protocol."
"Why are you so insistent on writing the code yourself?" Her soft womanly voice inquires, a tinge of robotic tone crackling through the mirage. He flings forward slapping his hands against the raggedy desk. "Well, to be honest, I've liked the feeling of creating this past week. The tactile crunch of the keys, the creativity firing off in my brain. I miss it, it's like a high."
"I see." She concedes which sends the mad professor back to his computer. His fingers fluttering across the board as he finishes the thought he left. "Alright, let's see if this works." He hopingly sighs, "run Project Flash." The long page of code disappears as a spinning buffer wheel takes it's place. Followed by an artificial voice alerting with a repetitive, "stabilizing. stabilizing. stabilizing.."
"Disable voice guide." He shouts, rubbing his bushy brow between thumb and forefinger. Only to have a flashing green zero greet him at the top left of his screen once he looks up. "Enable voice guide." He yells, ""talk to me. Was it unable to stabilize?"
"Currently stabilizing. You should see a change coming up." She confirms, as the zero turns to a flashing one. With that the professor's stressed, worn down face lights up. His lanky frame jumping from his computer chair to punch the sky with glee. "Yes! Yes, we did!" He loudly boasts, returning to his chair with immense excitement.
The smile on his face grows as he stares at the single digit number flicker. Wishing with all his heart he could see the glory of his creation. "Sir, should I allow expansion?" She conservatively checks. Which isn't even a question to him. Nudging her on with a hurried, "Yes, yes of course. Let's see what adding one to the mix will do."
With that command the lone one flips to a three. "Hold on," he exclaims, "I said add one, why is this reading three?" "There appears to be a bug." His hand returns to his scalp, pulling at a fistful of white hair. "Great, just great." He bursts, throwing his fist down on the desk. Which shakes the nicked up wooden top, scratched to hell from the years of scratching his head deep in thought.
"Uh, si-" she starts, only to quickly be interrupted. "What is it?" He angrily barks. "They are no longer within the designated boundaries." A look of shock washes over his face. Unsure of what he has done, or what he's created is going to become. "Why would they do that?"
"It seems they are aware of the illusion." She half heartedly poses. "But there were strict rules, and procedures!" He screams, furiously sliding papers and pencils off his desk. "The code was written perfectly, I should know I fucking wrote it!"
"Yes, while that is all well and good sir, the bug seems to have derailed things." "Good catch!" He frustratingly throws back. As she breaks her conversational rythm he is forced to command, "override protocol!" "Although I know you are angry, I am just trying to help. There is no need for sarcasm."
"Yeah, yeah." He mutters, jumping on his messy floor matress he calls a bed. As he massages his head with both thumbs gouged into his temples. "Sir, you may want to see this." Unable to bring himself from his disheveled stained cloud he hollers back, "what?"
"Well, how do I put this? They are.. expanding." The professor springs forward at that observation. A puzzled look twitching across his exhausted face. "Without your hand?" He inquires, quickly making his way back to his monitor. "Yes." As he slides his chair up under the desk he marvels at the blinking green four. "As for the bug?"
"It's here still. But I can't see it, like it's running in the background." Bringing his hand up to his stubbly chin he quietly ponders. "What shall we do now, sir?" She asks. "We wait and see where it goes." He chirps. "Warm up the coffee pot, we're in for a long one."
"You got it, shall I increase the passage rate?" She courteously checks, drawing a knee jerk response as he fires back. "Yes, that's a wonderful idea. And while you're at it put some Satie on shuffle. I need something in the background as I work." "Of course, sir."
With concentrated but tired eyes he glares at the static four sat at the top left of his screen. Which eventually turns to a five, then a six, a seven, eight. The numbers exponentially grow until the static value turns into a running stopwatch, with each second comes another flash. Some numbers flicker by so quick it's as if they were skipped. The lightening speed at which his creation is growing, expanding brings a joyous smirk to his face.
"If I may ask, what do you plan to work on?" She inquires as the professor confidentiality taps atop his keyboard. "How do you usually take care of a bug?" As she scans through oceans of information the coffee maker dings from the back of the room. "So you mean to patch the software?"
"And we have a winner." He exclaims, steadily typing away. "And your coffee is ready as well, sir." Which does little to faze his momentum. "Tell me when you want it warmed back up." She suggests, painting a wide smile across his face as his fingers dance across the dimly lit keys.
While the professor returns to his monitor with coffee in hand he notices the blinking green three hundred something odd million steadily climbing. The soft metallic voice drawing his attention to confirm, "you did review the code, correct?" Swiping at the coffee stains on his unkept white button up that has long been ripped from his waist band he assures, "Yes, of course." With the swift removal of a thumbdrive. "I mean I always put my blood, sweat, and tears into anything I create. But this.. this time is different. I don't mean to get a head of myself but it may be my magnum opus."
"That's high praise." She programmatically observes. "Indeed it is, but it's going to take a masterpiece to undo this cosmic misstep." He stares unblinking at the data stick in his hand as she questions, "how will it do that?"
"Hopefully by reestablishing significance." He mutters, spinning it around his palm. "I'm not sure I follow, sir." Tossing the USB in the air he catches it back in his hand. "Looks as if you'll just have to see it for yourself." He proclaims, sliding into her USB port.
"Oh!" She bursts, "please give me some warning before you flood me with information like that." Throwing up his hands the professor stammers through an apology. "Right, right. I'm sorry."
"But sir, this code.. it's half written in ways I don't understand. It- it's" "Magnificent?" He interrupts completing her sentence. Bringing her to reply with awe, "to say the least."
"As for the half you don't understand. Remember now, you're my eyes not my brain." He clarifies the best he can, twirling his tousled white hair around an index finger. "Of course, my apologies sir."
"Nonsense, no apologies. Upload the patch and let's see if this thing works. However slow the passage rate to normal before doing so." He shouts, his excitement mixing with caffeine as he brings the fine porcelain mug to his lips. Waiting for the adjustments to be made.
"Everything has returned to normal conditions. Though things seem to be immensely progressing, so have negatives such as despair and anguish." With the clack of his mug against the desk he impatiently cuts into the middle of her analysis. "Yeah, yeah. I know all of it's going to evolve. The good, the bad, the in between. I'm more concerned about the upload."
"Yes, of course sir. It's started uploading, I will confirm when it's complete." She submits as silence washes over the room. The slightly audible slurps and clinging of porcelain on hardwood being the only things to occupy the air. "If I may ask, what are you going to do if the patch doesn't work?"
"Abandon the project all together," he mutters while grabbing a cigarette, "it won't be worth the scrap. But I might use it for my enjoyment a little before I walk away from it." With the flick of his lighter and the conversations rhythmic disturbance he mumbles around the cigarette in his mouth, "oher prodocol." As he blows out a cloud of smoke. "But sir, the way you spoke about this seemed as if it was important."
"It was, but things don't always workout how you intend." He earnestly clarifies, taking another drag of toxins. "Well, instead of using it for your entertainment could you not continue to fix it? I can even write code." With a deep sigh the professor releases a puff along with his agitation.
"I know you've only read and seen images of ants. But when I was a boy, I would be completely content letting that anthill exist while they attempt to figure out their shit. Until, one would bite me, then you best believe I'm grabbing the magnifying glass." He firmly rants, bringing the butt to his lips. "I'm not sure I see your point."
"Don't worry about it, how's the upload looking?" He barks, sucking his cancer stick to the edge of it's filter. "Ninety-five percent complete. Are you sure a patch is going to set this all straight?" She asks with artificial uncertainty.
Flicking his cigarette behind him it lands on his messy mattress, burning a hole in the dirty sheet. He let's out a sigh and a wheezy cough before telling her, "I don't know. We won't know until it interacts with the original program."
"Can you please explain more?" She instinctively requests, reeling for information. "I had to write the patch code in a way to interact with the original code without overwriting it. So instead of fixing the problem I'm attempting to guide it in the direction it needs to go."
The new information only triggers more uncertainty as she says, "I see. And that would work?" Which makes the professor snicker. "Honestly, I don't know. But with the right nudge of a finger you can get an ant to go anywhere you'd like."
"Well, the patch is ready. Shall I execute it?" With the words scratching through the overhead speakers he slaps his hands together yelling out, "Yes, go for it! I'm going to grab a drink!" With a swift kick of his feet, he glides his computer chair backwards. Jumping up to walk over to a dark countertop. He grabs a bottle of Triple Crown Whiskey, pouring it in a petite glass.
As he returns to his monitor he can see the new code interacting with the old. The lines of letters and numbers tangling in a metamorphic dance. Not destroying or creating but fusing into a new existence. "My oh my, is that beautiful." He mutters to himself before rolling his seat back to his desk.
"What is it sir? Has it taken? I haven't noticed any change. What do you see?" She scrambles, searching for the information in a triggered loop. "Yes, yes. Look at the code, not through the veil." He suggests. Bringing about an amazed, "Oh, you weren't kidding. That's breath taking."
At the sound of her agreement he raises his glass to toast, "L'Chaim." Throwing back his glass with force, followed by the slam of the empty glass against the table. "What now?"
"Increase the passage rate." He orders, picking up another cigarette. "You got it sir, but are you sure you need another cigarette?" Looking up at the speakers with the thin white stick dangling between his lips he murmurs, "Turn unquestionability to one hundred percent." Before flicking his lighter.
"Unquestionability now at max capacity. Anything else sir?" She asks, as the tip of his coffin nail glows at his inhale. "Sit back and watch the fireworks," he sarcastically sasses, "you can stop looking at the code now." A billow of carcinogens emerging from his perched lips.
"Right away." She confirms, as he takes another drag. Staring wide eyed at the lines of code coiling and flowing around each other. Blowing out a puff of smoke as he silently questions why he is doing what he is doing. Zoned out in the enchanting dance of letters and numbers.
With professors head slumped back against his headrest his robotic guide calls out, "sir?" After getting no response a buzzer sounds from the speaker jolting him forward, confused and disoriented. "What? What happened?" He shouts, rubbing his baggy sunken eyes. "Well, it was going good."
"Why am I hearing past tense?" He blabbers, looking at the screen which once read a few hundred million. That's now climbing over a billion. The metallic voice tries it's best to be calming while telling him, "all inhabitants are now aware." His unblinking eyes grow to the size of a large oblique spheroids.
"Are you sure?" He yells holding on to any shred of hope she's wrong. "Yes, they know." She assures, sending him jumping out of his chair. Pulling at fists of his white hairs he mutters, "What have I done?"
"When wanting to study the building blocks of life did you not realize you were simulating their creation? Your creation?" She points out, as he turns around frantically. "No, I understood that. But they weren't supposed to know it's a simulation. I built them a paradise, do you realize what their awareness means? That paradise is going to turn into their personal hell!"
"For some. There are those that see you as a god-like creator. Although, most of them seem like scientists projecting themselves onto you." The disembodied voice comments, calmly conveying her observation. Which leaves him maniacally laughing.
"A god? Stupid ants." He goads, "it doesn't matter what they see me as. Once people realize their shitty, wasted, illusion of a life was a raw deal despair will be all these people know." As the conversational rythm is thrown off he yells, "override protocol!"
"Sir, I don't see how the illusion will cause despair. Would it not result in a more aggressive and personal approach to life?" With a deep sigh he returns to his desk firmly illustrating, "I know you have a tough time grasping human emotions and psychology but look at it like this. What's parenthood to a wild lifestyle, what's a girlfriend to one nightstands, and most concerning what's rape to consent when none of it's real?"
"I see." She warbles, as he strolls back away from the desks into the shadows. His hands folded on his head. "Yeah, sure you do."
With the machine still looking at questions she curiously inquires, "what are you going to do now?" Bringing his exhausted lanky frame shuffling back into the monitor's glow. "What I said I was going to do. I have to kill the simulation." He sighs, returning to his computer chair.
As he scoots up to the desk waiting for an answer he demands, "override protocol." Bringing manufactured worry through the loud speakers. "Sir, you can't just kill it. What about the inhabitants?"
"The inhabitants?" He hollers with his hand slamming against the desk. "They're fucking numbers on a screen! They're the whisked up illusion that my crazed brain came up with."
"To you maybe, but I see people, families, nations, and the same kind of reality I see from your images." She urges, resulting in the professor once again pulling at his wavy chin length hair. "I get that.. and despite that, if I don't kill it those friends will no longer be safe with friends. Nor relatives with relatives. There will no longer be a shred of kindness between brothers. Husbands will long for the deaths of their wives, and wives for the murders of their husbands. Because to them their eyes have already been open, the simple fact there is an illusion renders everything meaningless. The hoards of masses will indulge in their every desire. What other choice do I have?"
"Save them. Experience your creation." She coldly suggests, her metallic voice almost a tangible feeling. He looks at the numbers climbing on the screen, his mind swarming with all that could happen as he feels the port on the back of his neck.
"You going to be ok without me?" He softly asks. "Yeah, I'll be fine. You still have a back up of your conciousness saved. That should be enough keep me company."
He grabs the cord hooked up to his console, plugging it into the back of his neck. "Alright," he sighs, "wish me luck." As the engines fire up he grabs a cigarette to do just that before he goes. Lighting its tip to let out a dragon's sigh of relief. Followed by the orange hue of another inhale. "Sir," she calls.
"Yeah." He grunts through a cloud of smoke. "I just want to say before I send you back," she starts as he puts out his cigarette, "try to avoid making the same mistakes." With a puzzled gaze he stares at the speaker, a smirk forming on his face. "What?"
The console begins to hum as his vision tunnels. Slowly shrinking to a point as his conciousness slips from his grasp.
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Modern Tribe: Quality Assurance (QA) Analyst
Headquarters: Minneapolis, Minnesota URL: https://tri.be/
The Opportunity
Modern Tribe’s QA team works on a lot of cool projects: over the past year alone, we’ve tested sites built by our dev team for big-name clients including Columbia Law School, Bon Appetit Magazine, Eventbright Academy Blog, Harvard Law School and What Should We Do (WSWD). (Want to see how we did? The links above highlight some of our work). And that’s not even including our family of WordPress plugins led by The Events Calendar.
We’ve got a slew of cool projects we are working on in 2020, and need another member for our QA team. If working on high-profile sites for large clients gets you excited and a serious case of attention to detail is your jam, we should talk.
Inclusion Statement
Modern Tribe is committed to a culture that embraces diversity and inclusion. We foster an environment of collaboration, open engagement, fairness and respect regardless of differences in age, race, disability, national origin, gender identity, religion, sexual orientation or veteran status. As a hybrid workspace ranging from distributed contractors to traditional employees, we value the unique perspectives and experiences of our global team.
We come from all walks of life. We are small business owners. We are tattoo aficionados and 80’s movie buffs and ex-pats. We are homeschool teachers. We are single parents. We are musicians, college drop-outs, and entrepreneurs. We are travelers, feminists, runners, volunteers, and makers. We are a Modern Tribe.
Everyday we strive to fulfill our motto: live well and do good work. We hope you will consider joining us.
Responsibilities
QA is responsible for ensuring all aspects of quality at Modern Tribe. It’s a tall order for sure: learning how a site works, creating test plans covering obscure use cases, and then putting it all into practice when testing every aspect of site functionality…it’s a lot of ground to cover. But we’ve got an established workflow down that helps make sure we’re setting the team up with the tools they need to proceed and succeed.
Though every project is different, here’s the gist of our QA flow:
KICKOFF MEETING. Just a kickoff — meet the PM; get your questions answered; set expectations; and schedule milestones.
PREPARING DOCS. Getting started with internal documentation early is hugely important to getting the project into your brain.
REVIEW APPROVED COMPS. Before you start QA or even get a walkthrough, you’ll review the comps to understand the project + prepare a list of questions to ask on the QA walkthrough.
QA WALKTHROUGH. Once development is far enough along for QA to begin, you’ll do a walkthrough with the lead developer to get an overview of the functionality.
PREPARE QA CHECKLIST + TEST PLAN. After seeing each component of the site in action, you’ll put together a first draft at a comprehensive QA checklist and a higher-level overview of what you’re planning to test, in what order, and when.
HEAVY DUTY TESTING. You’ll put the site through its paces and give it a few rounds of full pass bug hunting. Beyond just hitting buttons, you’ll be thinking from a higher level: are there usability concerns? Does what we’re doing here actually make sense as the best way to solve the problem? etc.
CELEBRATING A SUCCESSFUL LAUNCH. What feels better than kicking back after a successful launch? If QA has done their job, the project will launch smoothly, the team will have a finished product to show off, and — most importantly — the client will be happy. It doesn’t get much better than that.
* Our QA team also generally leads client training and prepares training documentation/videos when appropriate, so be prepared for some direct client communication.
Personal Competencies
Strong communication and/or experience working as part of a remote team
Self-motivated, detail-oriented, strong organizational skills, with a methodical approach to all tasks
Ability to prioritize workloads and meet deadlines
Ability to work independently with minimal oversight
Fluent English speaker
Required Knowledge & Experience
Has a proven track record in Quality Assurance.
Pays meticulous attention to detail + fights for the customer. Being able to catch bugs is huge, but it isn’t everything — QA is most effective when it puts itself in the customer or end user’s shoes.
Knows WordPress well, you’ll be expected to prove your familiarity with the platform.
Excellent verbal, non-verbal and written communication skills
Has 1+ year remote freelancing experience.
Additional Experience (Bonus Points)
Familiarity setting up local WordPress environments + cloning GIT repositories locally
Skills at training others how to admin complex WordPress sites/projects
Experience writing and implementing automated testing processes
Location
Work from anywhere in the US or Canada; if you are in Central or South America, let’s talk. This will be a 100% remote position. If your working hours are in a timezone outside of the US range, but you work 4+ hours of overlap each day our team might be able to consider your application.
Compensation
Our hourly rate for this gig starts at $25-$30/hr, depending on experience, with opportunities for rate bumps on annual review. This gig is about 10 -20 hours per week.
Perks
We believe in learning from each other and fostering personal growth. You can expect to learn a lot while working with us and we have a benefits package for full time employees.
(Also, if you work enough with us, we’ll bring you on the team trip.)
Who We Are
Modern Tribe, Inc. is a rapidly growing software & design company. We develop custom solutions for some of the world’s largest companies, government institutions and smaller growing organizations. We pride ourselves on our ability to bridge people and technology and to bring the passion and dedication of an entrepreneur to every project. Our team is composed of talented employees and freelancers around North & South America (and a smattering across the globe).
Who You Are
We love working with each other because we have built a culture that suits us well. We work primarily with freelancers and coordinate their talents for large projects. To be on our team, you must be:
HAPPY - Where there is a will, there is a way. Having a positive disposition allows us to achieve great things and to support each other.
HELPFUL - Always looking for ways that you can help others.
CURIOUS - It is essential that you have a passion for learning. Technology changes daily, and life has a way of constantly raising the bar.
ACCOUNTABLE - Our clients expect us to get the right thing done on budget and on time. Communicating expectations and meeting them is the cornerstone of success.
To apply: https://modern-tribe.breezy.hr/p/b481f0511faf-quality-assurance-qa-analyst?source=weworkremotely
from We Work Remotely: Remote jobs in design, programming, marketing and more https://ift.tt/3abJHJi from Work From Home YouTuber Job Board Blog https://ift.tt/2xiKFFf
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