#his concept of masculinity doesn't feel self-sourced and it's apparent he hasn't explored anything beyond it
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southern reach headcanons (spore) you’d have to pry from my cold dead hands:
gendernull biologist and ghost bird
transfem lowry (egg uncracked)
transfem control (egg also uncracked)
#words from beyond the border#the biologist avoids discussions of animal mating rituals and takes pride in being able to blend in with normal society#while living on the periphery#thus. to me she wears ‘female’ like a uniform. if the setting demands it it is worn. otherwise? irrelevant to who she is intrinsically#lowry: ‘I love sky cuz she’s girl me’ (paraphrased) <- whgughaghgh?????#the toxic masculinity. the posturing. getting likened to a grumpy little sister#the constant smothering of sentimentality and desire for human relationships + his admiration/fear/jealousy of his older sisters#would estrogen have saved lowry? no but maybe girl lowry would be like 20% less deranged……maybe#control reads as someone who clings to masculinity not because he’s male or thinks being a man is the bee's knees#but bc that’s the only option he’s been given so he wants to excel at it no matter what#his concept of masculinity doesn't feel self-sourced and it's apparent he hasn't explored anything beyond it#see: mentally deferring to jackie as an authority on women#he knows there are terrible repercussions to not being adequately masculine (jackie's rejection. bullying) so he folds to that above all#also. jackie doesn't say it outright#but she seems frustrated with how control isn't as masculine as she wants him to be#she keeps trying to shape him in particular ways#but it doesn't work#even with all the fuckin conditioning and gaslighting and funny central tricks
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