#homie is here for one purpose and that is EDUCATION. he's so funny

[averycutesalamander]

so after boots, what other hsr characters do you like?

hm. well. hmmmm. ahhh.. uhhhhhhhhhhh

[coaoreo-blog]

A Black Sheep's Diary: Dealing with Comparisons

Hello Again Beautiful People

[caption id="attachment_94" align="alignnone" width="750"] Sister Appreciation Post: She Loves the Filters Just as Much as I Do!!![/caption] I am currently sitting in a pair of shorts and a tee-shirt with my house slippers in my basement contemplating what I want to write about for this week's blog. This Tuesday happens to be my day off from both jobs and as many would say; "I woke up on the wrong side of the bed." So what did I do to get out of this mindset before the "World feels my wrath?" I watched the movie Marshall starring Chadwick Boseman. Some of you may know him from his more recent films Black Panther and Avengers: Infinity War. After watching this I was just compelled to change my major. Don't worry...I didn't :)   This past week, for me personally, has been extremely busy. It was all due to President Trump visiting. He was escorted by all families from across the country to celebrate those graduating from the United States Naval Academy. I had the opportunity this week to meet some awesome people from Italy, New Jersey, Tennessee, Texas, etc. I've also had some impactful discussions with some regulars from the coffee shop. There was one in particular that really spoke to me. I have found myself over the past few days reflecting on my life so far and thinking hard about the future. I often get feelings when scrolling through social media and seeing all of the people from my high school class graduating college or coming up on their last year as rising seniors. These friends are traveling the world and doing the things I only dream about. When I scroll or click through the different feeds be it Facebook, Snapchat, or Instagram, this dark feeling never fades. I find myself thinking, "Here I am working two jobs, attending community college, not a clear idea of my future, and nowhere close to having the ability to experience things my friends are at regular colleges. Why am I so behind in life?"

The Struggle with Comparison

The truth is...these statements, although they are mine, make me angry. I could not believe that my brain had the audacity to think these thoughts. I mean, I had gotten into MTSU. However, due to some difficulties with financial aid, I am now in a place where my future is uncertain leaving me unnerved. I'm not one to not know where I am going to be tomorrow, next week, nor next semester. Yet, here I am stuck...waiting. Have you ever been in a place like this where all you feel is stuck? To me, it was like a room with four white walls and no door. For the past few months, I felt like I needed to be at this big four-year college. It was my way of being seen less as a failure. However, I wasn't where I had imagined myself to be and that caused me to feel like less of a person. I started to compare my life and what I had done to my siblings. I mean, those are the closest and most realistic ones to compare to: am I right? I mean, I could not be more proud of them. My oldest brother is a preacher, leading a church and making differences all throughout the city of Annapolis. My older sister is a phenomenal athlete, amazing icon and household name within the equestrian circle and beyond. My next oldest brother is living a life many dream of right out of college; I mean he went to Peru (also walked miles to bring me home a longboard for Christmas). He is kicking butt in a business, buying his first house, traveling the world, and changing the way people and business operate. Last but not least, my younger brother is attending the school that I could not bring myself to finish (USNA) and doing the things that he loves to do. It was hard not to look at my life and all of the things unfinished compared to the success stories of my own family. I felt like a black sheep for I had not done anything special or taken steps towards my dream or just any dream in my mind. I was stuck in the quicksand of inadequacy and I couldn't find a way out. There were many nights that I would delete my social media to try and eliminate the temptation to compare yet I couldn't stop it. The other day at work a co-worker greeted me by stating, "Hey Kid". I laughed and proceeded to ask why she felt the need to call someone, two and a half years older than her, "kid". She then went on to inform me that she had "done, lived, and gotten more out of life in comparison to me" and therefore had the right to call me kid. This coworker is younger than me with a beautiful baby girl. However, she felt that since she had a daughter, bills and was "more independent" with different problems, she had hit it in life. Now, I want to state first that I don't want to take away from her experiences, whatever they may be, however, how am I suppose to answer. There are so many young adults my age (above or below) who are married, have children, renting their first house, and "starting life". One of my siblings is also an example of that. Yet, at the same age, I find myself living with my parents unsure of the future and frustrated. Why I am so late to the party? It was not until my conversation with a local customer that I really started to see things differently.

Different Does Not Mean Wrong

I found myself, last Wednesday, in a conversation centered around a program called YWAM or Youth With A Mission. I had been upset with the reality that I may not receive the financial aid needed to attend MTSU ( still waiting though with fingers crossed). I didn't think college was really my path if this all didn't go through and I wanted to have a purpose in life. I needed it. If college wasn't going to do it then I needed to look elsewhere. This led to a customer who had a personal connection. ��I was astonished by some of the similarities that we had throughout the conversation. We both had scholarships to very prestigious schools and decided to leave because it not what we wanted out of life. This customer took to hitchhiking. She headed towards upstate New York to try to find herself. It was during that year that she found Christ and decided to continue her education. Fast-forward a couple years, she settled down, finished her degree, got a Masters, Ph.D., and post-doctorate, became a professor, traveled the world, and now lectures to important leaders within our government today. Wow right? I was thinking the exact same thing. She said a lot of amazing things that day to me, however, the one thing that stuck out the most was this: "Not everyone's path is straight. There are those that fit into a box and there are those that fit outside of a box. Just because your path is different does not mean that you are inadequate. You didn't fit a lifestyle and that's fine. Choices are hard, and thankfully, we have lots of life to live. I believe that you can be a great Christian and think outside of the box. If the early disciples didn't think outside the box we'd all be Jewish or something like that."  This woman spoke into my life at the exact moment that I need someone. It's funny, I often find myself praying for signs. Yet, I always imagined something big like those miracles in the Bible. Something similar to the stories of Moses and the burning bush or a stranger that turns into something (say an angel), or a voice inside my head: who knows (Yes, I realize these are far-fetched but hey a girl can wish). Anyways, I just remember constantly praying for something. "Speak", I would say, because I can't hear you. I can say, this past Wednesday,  I heard him clearly: when everything felt so wrong, she could not have been more right. I can say, now, that I am aware. My path is different from my siblings for I am not my siblings. I am me and I cannot change it. In fact, I should not want to change it and I don't. It is not easy, for growing up, I had always been compared to others but I have decided the only person I can compare myself to is the person I was yesterday. If I am better than I was the day before I can then conclude that I am doing a pretty damn good job. I won't say that I am perfectly content now because feelings (negative ones especially) for so long do not disappear following a ten-minute conversation. What I can say, however, is that I am okay with the path I am walking. I have goals and plans for the future and I am excited to see it unfold right before my eyes. There is no perfect path for one person. There are many paths and just because one differs from another does not mean that you are behind or less of a person. Sometimes people need detours to build them and train them for the rigors of what is to come in the future :) Therefore, to everyone, I say:  live your lives the way you want. Do not compare to others for it doesn't bring happiness just sadness, anger, and loneliness. Love your differences for they make you who you are. You are an awesome person and don't forget it. You are never going to be as good as someone else for they are not you. Only you can be the best you. So stop comparing and LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE ! Peace out homies :) Your Oreo and Local Black Sheep,   Announcements!!!

I will be posting every Tuesday. Make sure to check in then.

I have also heard some things about snacks for people who are gluten-free. I have recently traveled to target and will post some snack ideas to the home page within the next day or so.

I am also working on some videos to put on here so keep watch for those.

[coaoreo-blog]

A Black Sheep's Diary: Dealing with Comparisons

Hello Again Beautiful People

[caption id="attachment_94" align="alignnone" width="750"] Sister Appreciation Post: She Loves the Filters Just as Much as I Do!!![/caption] I am currently sitting in a pair of shorts and a tee-shirt with my house slippers in my basement contemplating what I want to write about for this week's blog. This Tuesday happens to be my day off from both jobs and as many would say; "I woke up on the wrong side of the bed." So what did I do to get out of this mindset before the "World feels my wrath?" I watched the movie Marshall starring Chadwick Boseman. Some of you may know him from his more recent films Black Panther and Avengers: Infinity War. After watching this I was just compelled to change my major. Don't worry...I didn't :)   This past week, for me personally, has been extremely busy. It was all due to President Trump visiting. He was escorted by all families from across the country to celebrate those graduating from the United States Naval Academy. I had the opportunity this week to meet some awesome people from Italy, New Jersey, Tennessee, Texas, etc. I've also had some impactful discussions with some regulars from the coffee shop. There was one in particular that really spoke to me. I have found myself over the past few days reflecting on my life so far and thinking hard about the future. I often get feelings when scrolling through social media and seeing all of the people from my high school class graduating college or coming up on their last year as rising seniors. These friends are traveling the world and doing the things I only dream about. When I scroll or click through the different feeds be it Facebook, Snapchat, or Instagram, this dark feeling never fades. I find myself thinking, "Here I am working two jobs, attending community college, not a clear idea of my future, and nowhere close to having the ability to experience things my friends are at regular colleges. Why am I so behind in life?"

The Struggle with Comparison

The truth is...these statements, although they are mine, make me angry. I could not believe that my brain had the audacity to think these thoughts. I mean, I had gotten into MTSU. However, due to some difficulties with financial aid, I am now in a place where my future is uncertain leaving me unnerved. I'm not one to not know where I am going to be tomorrow, next week, nor next semester. Yet, here I am stuck...waiting. Have you ever been in a place like this where all you feel is stuck? To me, it was like a room with four white walls and no door. For the past few months, I felt like I needed to be at this big four-year college. It was my way of being seen less as a failure. However, I wasn't where I had imagined myself to be and that caused me to feel like less of a person. I started to compare my life and what I had done to my siblings. I mean, those are the closest and most realistic ones to compare to: am I right? I mean, I could not be more proud of them. My oldest brother is a preacher, leading a church and making differences all throughout the city of Annapolis. My older sister is a phenomenal athlete, amazing icon and household name within the equestrian circle and beyond. My next oldest brother is living a life many dream of right out of college; I mean he went to Peru (also walked miles to bring me home a longboard for Christmas). He is kicking butt in a business, buying his first house, traveling the world, and changing the way people and business operate. Last but not least, my younger brother is attending the school that I could not bring myself to finish (USNA) and doing the things that he loves to do. It was hard not to look at my life and all of the things unfinished compared to the success stories of my own family. I felt like a black sheep for I had not done anything special or taken steps towards my dream or just any dream in my mind. I was stuck in the quicksand of inadequacy and I couldn't find a way out. There were many nights that I would delete my social media to try and eliminate the temptation to compare yet I couldn't stop it. The other day at work a co-worker greeted me by stating, "Hey Kid". I laughed and proceeded to ask why she felt the need to call someone, two and a half years older than her, "kid". She then went on to inform me that she had "done, lived, and gotten more out of life in comparison to me" and therefore had the right to call me kid. This coworker is younger than me with a beautiful baby girl. However, she felt that since she had a daughter, bills and was "more independent" with different problems, she had hit it in life. Now, I want to state first that I don't want to take away from her experiences, whatever they may be, however, how am I suppose to answer. There are so many young adults my age (above or below) who are married, have children, renting their first house, and "starting life". One of my siblings is also an example of that. Yet, at the same age, I find myself living with my parents unsure of the future and frustrated. Why I am so late to the party? It was not until my conversation with a local customer that I really started to see things differently.

Different Does Not Mean Wrong

I found myself, last Wednesday, in a conversation centered around a program called YWAM or Youth With A Mission. I had been upset with the reality that I may not receive the financial aid needed to attend MTSU ( still waiting though with fingers crossed). I didn't think college was really my path if this all didn't go through and I wanted to have a purpose in life. I needed it. If college wasn't going to do it then I needed to look elsewhere. This led to a customer who had a personal connection.  I was astonished by some of the similarities that we had throughout the conversation. We both had scholarships to very prestigious schools and decided to leave because it not what we wanted out of life. This customer took to hitchhiking. She headed towards upstate New York to try to find herself. It was during that year that she found Christ and decided to continue her education. Fast-forward a couple years, she settled down, finished her degree, got a Masters, Ph.D., and post-doctorate, became a professor, traveled the world, and now lectures to important leaders within our government today. Wow right? I was thinking the exact same thing. She said a lot of amazing things that day to me, however, the one thing that stuck out the most was this: "Not everyone's path is straight. There are those that fit into a box and there are those that fit outside of a box. Just because your path is different does not mean that you are inadequate. You didn't fit a lifestyle and that's fine. Choices are hard, and thankfully, we have lots of life to live. I believe that you can be a great Christian and think outside of the box. If the early disciples didn't think outside the box we'd all be Jewish or something like that."  This woman spoke into my life at the exact moment that I need someone. It's funny, I often find myself praying for signs. Yet, I always imagined something big like those miracles in the Bible. Something similar to the stories of Moses and the burning bush or a stranger that turns into something (say an angel), or a voice inside my head: who knows (Yes, I realize these are far-fetched but hey a girl can wish). Anyways, I just remember constantly praying for something. "Speak", I would say, because I can't hear you. I can say, this past Wednesday,  I heard him clearly: when everything felt so wrong, she could not have been more right. I can say, now, that I am aware. My path is different from my siblings for I am not my siblings. I am me and I cannot change it. In fact, I should not want to change it and I don't. It is not easy, for growing up, I had always been compared to others but I have decided the only person I can compare myself to is the person I was yesterday. If I am better than I was the day before I can then conclude that I am doing a pretty damn good job. I won't say that I am perfectly content now because feelings (negative ones especially) for so long do not disappear following a ten-minute conversation. What I can say, however, is that I am okay with the path I am walking. I have goals and plans for the future and I am excited to see it unfold right before my eyes. There is no perfect path for one person. There are many paths and just because one differs from another does not mean that you are behind or less of a person. Sometimes people need detours to build them and train them for the rigors of what is to come in the future :) Therefore, to everyone, I say:  live your lives the way you want. Do not compare to others for it doesn't bring happiness just sadness, anger, and loneliness. Love your differences for they make you who you are. You are an awesome person and don't forget it. You are never going to be as good as someone else for they are not you. Only you can be the best you. So stop comparing and LIVE YOUR BEST LIFE ! Peace out homies :) Your Oreo and Local Black Sheep,   Announcements!!!

I will be posting every Tuesday. Make sure to check in then.

I have also heard some things about snacks for people who are gluten-free. I have recently traveled to target and will post some snack ideas to the home page within the next day or so.

I am also working on some videos to put on here so keep watch for those.