#hot take but sirius wouldn't be attracted to her if they weren't related

[impishtubist]

Rodolphus finally gets to sleep with Sirius and this causes an entirely new clusterfuck. Rabastan is screaming at his brother because you don’t see Rabastan seducing Bella so what the fuck Rod, Rodolphus says that’s probably because his wife is already having an affair that she’s extremely committed to, Sirius is (fairly gently, for him) pointing out that it’s not like they’re in an exclusive relationship Rab and Sirius is perfectly capable of fucking both of them without comparing anyone and if Rabastan is really so concerned they can meet up again later to prove that it’s fine, Remus is screaming because why is his boyfriend so determined to bang the Lestrange brothers over Remus, Kingsley is longingly staring at the exit and wondering if he can make it there before anyone notices, Avery has started hitting on Sirius (after Sirius and Rabastan finished making plans for later) and Remus has not even noticed this yet but this will definitely make things even worse when he finally does, Dolohov asks why the Blacks are so very okay with having affairs and Kingsley—after resigning himself to this being his life and deciding he might as well start stirring the pot—says that maybe they’re just very pro-polyamory and Nott replies that Sirius is essentially in one giant relationship with the Death Eaters and does this mean that Lupin is the affair instead since Sirius is broken up with him more often than not and he always goes to the Death Eaters when they are, everyone else has gone silent at Nott’s remark because holy shit Remus really is the side piece at this point, Remus’s day has somehow gotten even worse at this revelation and it doesn’t look to be improving since everyone else looks to be accepting this, Rabastan decides to be a somewhat kinder person to Remus while Remus looks to be having a crisis over this and says that he’s not so sure any of them can really be counted as dating Sirius but this is ruined by Jugson dismissively saying that he heard Rabastan celebrating that Remus and Sirius had broken up three weeks ago specifically because Rabastan knew this meant he’d be seeing Sirius again, Avery semi-defends Rabastan by pointing out that most of them do that so it’s not like Rabastan is being weird, this causes a whole new layer of “what the fuck” to make its rounds and Remus now must contend with the fact that the Death Eaters not only expect for him and Sirius to break up but look forward to it for the exact reason that they know Remus’s boyfriend will be going to them, and Bellatrix has doubled over in laughter because this is all some prime entertainment. The only reason Bellatrix is not egging the situation on is that she does not have the breath to say anything yet but rest assured, once she does, she will make the situation 10 times worse.

Bellatrix will make the situation 10 times worse when Sirius knocks her up

I mean what