#how can I let go of everything circlating in my mind if I don't have the right place to put it down?

[beatrizjournal]

Dear people who follow me on tumblr,

I hope this post finds you well, I am here writing to you as I need some help and feedback, I will now explain the matter which leads me to write to you. For the past weeks I have been feeling very lost, this because the permanent and physical place where I store myself, my thoughts and my memories has not felt right to me. I started the year using a black Leuchtturm notebook in B6, then went on for my ring binder experience that lasted until the penultimate week of February. On the last one I began to spiral and tried an A6 Leuchtturm notebook. Ultimately I decided I would start the month fresh and go back to my ring binder, so I set up those pages. But even those didn't feel quite right, it is not the problem of the design, or the format, I simply don't know what it is. Today I found myself reaching for my A6 Hobonichis...(from 2024). The problem is that the days where I don't journal are days that are lost and I can't look back on, or days where I feel like I have no place to unload what is on my mind.

The most jarring thing is that I am repeating exactly the same pattern as I did last year: started in January in a ring binder, went on to a bound notebook in February and March and went for Hobonichi in April. I wonder if this is going to be a cyclical thing, if I will ever feel contempt with my notebooks and find "the perfect system".

But to be honest, I cannot put blame on these notebooks or pages, for it is me who is shaping them. Since I feel restless and this is the most personal practice I have with myself, of course it is merely a reflection of my inner world. My question is: I seek written form, my notebooks and planners to organise and make sense of my mind, but if I can't find a support that feels right for that, then how do I unload all this. How can I stop this cycle?

If you have felt this way before, how did you get out of this situation?And yes I have read the article by @petite-gloom, where she discussed the same feeling a couple months ago. But I need advice.

Please leave your recommendations in the comments, or drop them in my inbox. With this I hope to invite a positive response not only for me but also for others who have gone or are going through a similar situation. Please be kind.

Thank you :(